7 Things The Narcissist Hates 

When you find the courage and strength to escape from a narcissist, keep running and never ever look back.

Before l knew about narcissism, when l told them the TRUTH they went into a Rage, l was like WTF. It all makes sense now.

Don’t even tell them the reason why. We explain ourselves too much. It’s none of anyone’s business.

1/Criticism 2/Being Ignored 3/ Not Being In Control 4/Being Rejected/ Abandoned 5/Boundaries 6/Not Being The Center Of Attention 7/ Being Held Accountable

Just ignore them. Pretend they do not exist. Force yourself into it. The result our society may get is tremendous.

7 Seeing people happy peaceful and gentle... It's the most uncomfortable thing for a narcissist to see in you if not careful they can destroy your self worth.... There's a day I cried 5 hrs nonstop God knows.

NoContact is always telling them they were wrong...Thank You, GENIOUS!!👍✨😊

I’m going to take a wild 😜 guess: 1-the truth, 2- being told “no”, 3-boundaries, 4-being ignored, 5-loss of power, 6-loss of control, 7-loss of image/reputation

The narcissist can take pleasure in the exercise of power over and subjugation of others, but they can't feel happiness or higher level emotions the way normal people do from any source if it's not about them or to their advantage. They can't feel the joy of a loving relationship - they're incapable of love. Starve them of our attention and submission and they lose their power over us. Good points, thanks Richard xx 💖

The 7th point is so important, Richard. I figured that most of them are constantly in a negative state. Complaining (sometimes covertly) all the time and never being really happy. With my highly dysfunctional family I always had the sentence „Why can’t you be as unhappy as we are“ in mind. Thanks for your work. You helped me a lot during a really bad time. Keep it up ❤

My husband's youngest sister is a full-blown narcissist. I used to think that she was just a spoiled brat who threw adult temper tantrums. But a few years ago I discovered narcissistic abuse and realized that this is what I've been dealing with all these years. Today's video covered something I didn't know regarding #4 as it relates to my sister-in-law. My husband called her recently about something she clearly did "wrong" and oh boy did she come unglued. Not only did she refuse to apologize, but she blamed me for what SHE did wrong. I could hear her yelling over the phone and I just thought that she must be drunk. But after watching this video, I realize that my husband hit on her "narcissistic rage" because she didn't sound drunk until he hit on a nerve ... and it was after that conversation with her that my husband wrote his sister a note and told her we're going no contact with her. That was 4 weeks ago, and so far all's quite. And we're enjoying our peaceful home. But that doesn't mean anything from her end. She's probably boiling mad, which is fine. She can stay mad on her side of the fence. Take care dear reader :)

My Mom's a vicious narc. Only realized it over the past few years. She's never apologized for anything she's done and cleverly uses words like 'You're not being part of a kind and loving family' when she doesn't get her way. Sadly or happily I've gone grey with her. As a result quality of my other relationships has improved massively. Learning to say NO to your primary relationships gives you all sorts of power you never thought you had.

I am not a victim! I am a casualty!

This is the best description of narcissistic abuse I ever heard

I grew up in a great, happy two parent solid home. My narracist came into my life while I was going through a divorce and was vulnerable. I saw red flags, but because of his sob story I wanted to save him. I am now over 20 years in and it's been a rollercoaster ride of hell. I am now learning more tools to cope thanks to channels like this, spreading awareness of these demonic spirits. Some of us are just good empathetic people who want to help others, but these people are damaged beyond repair.

I worked for a narcissist for three years. I’m still recovering. She constantly didn’t respect my boundaries and when I would politely say no to things because I couldn’t do them due to policy. Every time it was an issue and a fit from her. She would constantly criticize me for any small mistake (a typo for example). If I ever corrected her, she would get incredibly upset. She was perfect and above criticism.

It’s startling how narcissists can be summed up so succinctly . It’s like a template. Yes maybe one or two traits differ between them but generally speaking….they are so predictable once you know what they are. It’s almost uncanny. I’m so surprised sometimes hearing you say things and I think to myself “that’s exactly what happened when I said no, or that’s how he reacted when I stated some facts that proved he was “incorrect”. He once tried to say I lied and he was trying to imply I was having or had an affair. I actually laughed and said, no you’re confused. That would be YOU lying and cheating. You can’t gas light me anymore. We weren’t living together but I did spend a lot of time at his place but that day, I walked away by sending him a text to say it’s over and I never went back. Not even to get my clothes, boots, shoes, coats, expensive hair dryer and straightener. I left all my personal effects like glasses and iPad, kitchen stuff. I didn’t try to ask to arrange a date to get it…..I didnt even want it. I think it got to him because many many months later a good friend ran into him and he told my friend he had a tough couple months (he was always acting like the world was out to get him…. Always a victim). My friend told me he looked terrible and almost didn’t recognize him because he lost so much weight. I used to be good supply (I eventually learned that through you and a few other videos like Dr. Carter) and I mean I was a pleaser and he would gaslight and ghost me for days, he pick my brain clean but would never tell me anything about the exact things he just asked of me. And of course, the info you shared comes back to you in a mean way, thrown in your face at a later date. I just unloaded, sorry. But it feels good. I know I still have work to do but I am so much stronger with my boundaries and my tool kit of spotting a narc from a mile away now. Thanks for the videos - really, they help a lot of people❤️

Thanks for the help, Richard. I feel mentally better after watching your videos. It's like letting fresh air in a room, filled with stale and toxic air. 👍

I had a birthday it was arranged by the narcissist looking at the photos looking back the narcissist looks unhappy with utter contempt in the photos

Cutting them all off no matter how hard it is. You are worth it. Thank you Richard much love

Thank you for everything you do. For giving us this knowledge for free. Respect.

Your a born professor! Wise, direct, focussed and all 7 points match the truth. Thank-you Richard for sharing your insights at the blackboard🙏🏻⚘

I’m just went through the worst experience with mine. I now navigate through or around them rather than engage with them. It’s helped so far.

I wouldn't exactly call you or anyone weak when it comes to narcissists preying on us. I personally feel that it's because we are empaths with good hearts. I do agree about saying no, having boundaries and cutting them off completely, which I'm learning to do. Thank you for this!

You have the best channel about Narcissism. Your delivery is compassionate and kind, and you explain everything in a way that makes me listen. Thank you for doing what you do.

Brilliant accuracy. I walked away from my NPD Mam, and NPD sister's in March this year. I was a suicidal wreck (that doesn't mean I was going to do it mind you, I was grieving which happens when diagnosed), after being diagnosed with ADHD the previous month. Best thing I ever did. They knew 8 was a suicidal wreck and they didn't even contact me, to see if I was ok. Thank you Richard. God bless you.

Wow WoW WOW I have experienced all these from my narc sister, mother and father. anything I've been good at my family has always tried to shut it all down, discourage my interests and have made me feel ashamed for doings things that I Love. They only liked things they wanted me to do whether I liked it or not. This point and the others you talked about blew me away. If only I had that list when I was young. I knew all those things but I always believed that what they were saying was the absolute truth. I can't even begin to tell you all the awful things they did to me when I was their scapegoat. They mutilated my mind and enjoyed it every step of the way those SOBs

Great videos Richard. I am in receipt of full blown narcissistic rage right now having made the big step out. Thank you for what you put out there.

I had to laugh when you said "The narcissistic relationship began when they arrived in a new country, away from friends, family and in swoops a kind, friendly, quirky person to show them around the city..." You're talking about my family history there - my mother was an American tourist and arrived in New Zealand where my dad was the tour bus driver. She ended up staying, they got married, and as you said, the gateway to hell opened.

Much love and gratitude Richard, I hope you're doing well my friend. Bless you.

The covert narcissist is the hardest to spot. Until you know. Thank you for your videos

The 7th thing ended the relationship. We had a dinner with friends and there was a young, handsome, happy couple that's been together ever since. I was gaslighted the same evening, received silent treatment for not agreeing and was discarded few days after, only to be replaced by some other poor guy. Seeing others genuine happiness is really hard for them.

A heartfelt thank you for the insight into the intentions and motivations of the narcissist. Mother a narc, husband a narc and significant narc encounters left scars on the heart. The knowledge that you impart, as well as super strong boundaries, are giving me joy as well as conviction I won’t be a victim again ❤

Imagine been married into a narsissist family ..its a nightmare..yes they hate no and they are never happy for you.

I don't know if a singular person deserves to be called boring, but if you are labeled as a boring person by someone with NPD, thats probably a compliment.

Yep. I knew for sure that my mom was a covert narcissist when she threw a tantrum after I said “no.” All those people that suggested that I start having boundaries never warned me about that. And it definitely should have come with a warning. Almost cost me my job. Also, I shouldn’t have to babysit a 64 year old twice me age. When will my mom grow up?

if you do this while you are still emotional invested (aka you still "love" them) , you will go to your personal hell. Cant recommend , cos I lived through it (not kidding , you can end up with ptsd)

Bingo!! My deceased narc husband of 49 yrs, 9 mos… always told me… “I hate to be told, “No.”. You’re the 1st person I’ve heard say that!

So true, Richard. My ex narc saw how successful my Naturopathic practice was becoming, so he sabotaged it. He said he couldn't live in that town anymore, and that he'd taken a job at a coastal location. He knew there were many Naturopaths there, and made it look like my shortcoming that I could not get much work there. It was a choice between my marriage or my career, and he knew how loyal I was. Total beast!

Man you nailed it! Thank you for your first hand experience sharing. I guess you doing these presentations is a form of therapy to stay sober minded. I didn’t have a clue and was as a moth to flames. This abuse is no better then any other addiction. Thank you for helping how to better understand wtf happened to my entire life. The fact that I’m still alive is truly nothing short of a miracle.unbelievable still blows me away how we know without knowing and ever fall for this pattern.🙏🏼🦋

I like to point out that they're boring (respond with "yawn" until they shut up) or less than average or not very good at something (anything). That really gets them.

this is bang on... some belong to 'the mum' some to ex-friends, some to ex bosses; but bottom line this is exactly how the NPD roll

You are so right. 👍👍👍😢

I got number 4 before you even answered the question, what does a narcissist hate most? Being told they’re wrong.

This channel has saved my life multiple ways. THANK YOU RICHARD! And all the ppl who share their experiences #3 is so insightful! The refrain i heard in response to#4 was "so you're calling me a liar?!" #7- my parents hated my joy, my honest grief, my authentic emotions of any kind.

He was always made me sad every single time when I want to be happy together or myself ...stilll I am crying every single day why I met this person and let him put me down at work, around all my life time , I am regretted every single day.

Married to a narc and my mother is one too..I love them both its hard emotionally and physically to leave them....that's my problem I love them and they trigger my emotions bc I love them.. thank you for your videos I have to remember that I love Jesus Christ and He loved me b4 I loved him..and thats the number one rule b4 all.. dont tell me to give up on the people i love bc Jesus didn't..if I don't Jesus can!!

Love how you state is as a clinician. I never hear delusional psychotic proportions . They're level of functioning is very low.

Grey Rock. No contact.

Grey rock works perfectly! Thank you Richard xx. This video actually is cathartic for me from the parental narcissist trauma I experience.

I have seen all of this in my narcissistic family. They do everything they can to destroy joy in someone who is the scapegoat, that would be me, who feels joy and happiness all the time over small things. Events don't have to be grandiose for me to have joy, the smallest things make me happy. They do not engage with me when I am happy. In fact, they will have a sour look on their face or act like I did or said something foolish to diminish my experience. You are right the narcs have no control over us, and this is what they cannot stand. In my experience, they try to get my husband to dislike me and make me unhappy. They have not been able to do it so they avoid us.

A must watch for everyone to identify, be aware, and plan what to do to prevent it or plan in private how to get out. Quality research, excellent analysis, and just the right length of video, Dr. Richard. Thank you. Be blessed. 🧡🇨🇦

Yes. I have been weak - with external & internal boundaries

Wow! "Pure Colombian high grade stuff" !! Major insight into the quality of certain supply. Great post, thx for sharing.

after 25 yrs with my husband i am trauma bonded I always end up coming back

But boundaries is saying “no” which sets them into s rage - the challenge is responding without engaging

Another great video. The more knowledge I have on how these devils operate the stronger I have become. I protect my heart and mind now with so much self love and compassion. My narc is insignificant now to me. He’s terrified of losing me however I just play it cool Never voluntarily give him personal information Planning my exit. It will be glorious. We must know that they are demonic. Protect yourself. Stay close to God.

I am also in my 3rd relationship with narcissist. This one is covert and man I did not see it coming.

I'm sorry for the narcissistic abuse you have gone through in your life, but honestly your videos have been the most validating and education for me. They have helped me with my own encounters with narcissistic people. I hope you know the good work you are doing brother. Thank you

Narcissistic rage… uhh.. been there when telling they were wrong.

Thank you for choosing to share your knowledge and experience.

The gateway to hell opened for me after my husband of 22 years and I seperated (on good terms but it was still difficult) plus I received a Stage I cancer diagnosis. This is when the narc whom I had known from a distance (10 years of going to the same yoga course) honed in and groomed me.

My ex got annoyed on the plans for our first date because I didnt agree with her time frame. She wanted to cancel when it wasnt on her terms. That was a huge red flag. I just assumed she didnt have much time to spend because of her coparenting arrangements.

I survived 12 years with one, fled with 3 small kids became homeless had nothing, built myself up in crisis care got a police protected DVO yet still stalking me etc. now court is too much reality so he's on the run, I used this isolation to stay safe as a tool to go and get a diploma rather than be scared. How to heal from a narc...heal and move on allow them to rot in the hell they create and keep fuelling. Pathetic individuals

The competition with everyone over everything just bleeds through everything.

I like your style Richard and your choice of language. Yes, yes and yes! I recognize each of these seven trigger areas in my narcissist male partner. We have been conditioned as females to "TAKE THE ROUGH WITH THE SMOOTH!" We have been conditioned to believe that all males have bad tempers and are prone to flaring up when their ego is under attack. But what no one is doing is attributing these tantrums and the violence metered out to those very close to the trantrum throwers, to NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER! I am English by birth and I firmly believe that the British society is NARCISSIST. It has bred NARCISSIST males in particular. I have a NARCISSIST mother, who also had a NARCISSIST mother, my two sisters are NARCISSISTIC in their sentimental relationships. My father (ENFJ type) was my life-line all through my childhood spent in this family home. Yet my two sisters have attracted really nice males who sadly have suffered abuse whilst in relationships with them. On the other hand, I, the INFJ type, have seemed to attract the NARCISSIST male again and again. I am that HIGH QUALITY supply that you talk off! I cannot get rid of my current one. Why are we not recognizing the truth, which is that NARCISSISM is VERY, VERY COMMON!

Now that I know there are 7-year-olds running around in adult bodies, I can recognize it a lot faster. And that’s when reach for that carry-size bottle of ‘NO’ I carry with me. I also like hitting them with “Why?” Whenever they ask you a question such as, “Did you call so-and-so?” I just respond, “Why would I do _that?_ Earlier today you said such-and-such.” Just turn the mirror back on themselves so they can see their own ugliness.

All is,true I have narc parents and from then on I attracted other narcs for years until I woke up , searched articles of people with a mental disorder and found narcissim I was so shocked and scared. You feel so conned. But actually normal because eben you felt it wasn't right this abuse is so hidden often. People lack knowledge incl me. Its so sneaky behind doors. Once I woke up I cried I went to therapy it helped me a lot. Still recovering and might never a 100% but, I'm climbing out since some years slowly to actually build my life so I can leave. It was this bad my child- husband kept me and the children in isolation so much it's not a 1,2,3 thing to go. Divorced since 2018 but he came every day to my house. I was so stupid to take him back. Living in spain now, no income and no people I know. I start a online job soon so I can escape one day for good. Trauma bonding is NOT LOVE. thank you for the videos Richard. Thank you, dutchie woman. Charlie, I wish you all the best ❤

As you are describing narcissistic behavior and their reaction to others and to life - I can’t help but think of Charles Manson.

When you say the narcissist has a complete collapse what does that look like? How will I know? I love your knowledge and how well you inform us. Thank you!

Hmm... Now I know why this person hates me. I told them no, walked away, decided to invest in my talents (which is how the mask came flying off because they were insanely jealous), I told them they were wrong about a lot with receipts and evidence (they can't manipulate their way out of it). I'm now building my life with new people. Man it must be hell for them!

Spot on. At 7. Spot on. Narc traits person shared that he goes for ppl that are weak and easy to manipulate to. That he feels better with them. That he shares trauma with them. But that was justification of his words before. Main take, easy prey. This explains why when clashed with idea of meeting with high profile succesfull ppl was always disregarded. (As in those who we can learn from, be happier, and not focus on drama but rather building skills and knowledge)

I love your voice, you are so kind❤

WOW! Nail on the head. A confident “victim” cannot be manipulated by a narcissist. Once a person becomes independent and is no longer codependent, they cannot be manipulated by a narc.

You touch something inside them The react from a wound or lack of something or insecurities

I appreciated all you shared, and picked up some new insight. I'm afraid, though, that I do not believe they are delusional. It seems to be more of an alternate reality, fantasy life, world of things they desperately need to maintain. Some way or another.

Like your subtle humurous delivery

Great reminder thank you Especially the last thing you point out is very, very true! The true, genuine, seemingly purpose less joy is greatly envied by narcissists.

Why am I refusing to call my fiancé a narcissist when all of the truth is right before my very eyes?

U know what makes the relationship worst day by day? Accepting to be in survival mode and talk to them Especially if they are ur parent U dont see urself when u tell them about their mistake , u have survival tone of voice in ur talking and it makes them angry and trigers them.... But if u just heal urself not because of them, just for experiencing life from heart level, u will see they will heal as well ( not completely because they should heal themselves) but in u can have a normal relationship with them as a soul not as a human animal....and this the goal of life....these relationships are the deep ones for spritual awakening if u dont lose ur mind from the truma.... Because they are soooo hard lessons especially if u are their child.... So the thing i said is not easy But i felt knowing it is better than not knowing

Great video love your work Richard

You've been in THREE narcissistic realtionships?😕 I could'nt imagine it being that difficult getting rid of them, wish you all the best mate❤.

You know what you speak of Richard Grannon. I think you're amazing! Long time subscriber and admirer.🙋🗽🍎

If I would be genuinely laughing at something on the tv, he would stare at me with hatred/jealousy. Not that I got it at the time as he would then pretend to laugh. Amazing what memories stick with you.

Needed this. Thank you 🙏🏻

So true, when I tried to set boundaries, she would always intentionally break them. It's been 6 weeks no contact afternshe discarded me amd I'm fine with it.

Even the word wrong in a sentence, may be even not realy used against him, Triggert s rage fit….. „you don’t have to use the word, If you do I am out off the conversation“!! 😂 this I often heard most times in periods he was struggling with other things, his heath, his kids, his mother, his work, his not perfekt working body,etc. …. I was his emotional trash 🗑️! And then I knew time is up for my discard!!!

I said to my Father, the other day in order to make peace with my long estranged brother, they might have to forgive each other , oh boy ! I thought WW3 had started, he just could not tolerate that he’d done anything that may warrant forgiveness.

Growing up with a narcissistic mother makes you even more aware of other narcissists in your life. For example, my Boss. He hates it when we tell him "No", for whatever reason there may be (e.g. we don't have the resources to perform a specific task etc.). He also shows no empathy or respect us or our work. He lies to us and talks behind our backs. It's coming so far that more and more people are quitting their jobs at our store because they can't handle him anymore.

I can’t wait to take the course thank you so much

My husband is a NPD and I point these thing out almost daily and it has helped me a little bit and it has helped him realize I'm onto him. I hammer him pretty hard and I walk away from his violent meltdowns. It's hard as hell to be married to one. Not sure how much longer I can do this though. Did you mention vengeful? Its the main reason I haven't left so far... So depressing, and tiring.

I hope you read this and that this goes to your heart: i very much love you, i think you are adorable, i wish you warmth and well❤

This pretty much sums up my mother in a nutshell. I’ve tried to dish out some home truths to her but like everything else, there are always external factors at play. Nothing is ever her fault. She just cannot accept any responsibility because she isn’t even aware of how toxic her behaviour can be.

Your course is really helping me, thanks!!!

You are amazing!!! Thankyou for your time and attention !!

Bang on.

Excellent video!

Hi Richard, I just saw a clip of yours where you are talking about the fact narcissists eventually lose, that there is only so long they can keep being the top of the tree - this really struck a chord with me because the narcissist I know ALWAYS come up smelling of roses, in fact I often think of that old song 'So You Win Again' by Hot Chocolate when I think of him. But a few things (caused by his own massive ego) have recently caused him to come seriously unstuck in his career - I cannot help but feel reassured there is some justice in the world after all.

Wow, thank you Richard. 🙏🏼💗🕊️

Thank you so much . So useful