8 Huge Mistakes Guys Make On The First 3 Dates 

Hello you legends. Watch the full episode with Adam here - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-v3BnroTQuOg.html

1. Too shy / only talking about surface topics 2. Trying too hard / acting like a pick up artist 3. Playing games. I.E. not texting her for 3 days 4. Coming off as too needy 5. Trying to rush to sex 6. Never going to give you up, never going to let you down, never going to run around and desert you 7. Sharing the wrong type of stories 8. Three dates and bring up the commitment topic

He confuses red pill with pick up artist. I am a master in red pill and my wife is totally in love with me after 24 years together. Red pill means, you understand the nature of women and give them what they need, not what they say.

A great way to send a woman running is to use the term "high value man" on the first date.

When I started dating in my 40s after the breakdown of a long term relationship I found women in their 40s really don't give a shit about rules and life goals and security etc etc they have heard it all before. They just want to enjoy someone's company and see where it takes them. Also there is absolutely no pretence when it comes to sex. If they fancy you and want it, they will come and get it

Not going in for those serious conversations early is a big thing that causes early failure. 3 dates in she wants children and you don’t, you want to get married and she wants someone to pay for Gucci bags, you have incompatible morals etc. Men, it’s not needy or embarrassing to tell her what you want from this and who you are as a person, right away.

“They’re tired of the fun.” Exactly the signal men are looking for in order to expunge them as a potential candidate.

One huge mistake listening to someone about something they stand to gain monetization. Everyone is different. No matter what if you do all these things perfectly it won’t work if you’re not compatible, similar goals or stages in life. Be yourself, don’t lie, and know that not everything is for everyone. 👍🏼👍🏼

Really needed this today itself.

Love the honest and positive vibe about this.

Guys, from what I've learned and what keeps me in peace these days when it comes to women is this, (Note: This works best and is easier to follow when you have a purpose and a mission in life and you are dealing with stable, secure women) 1. when you first meet a woman and u want to ask her out, make sure she IS INTERESTED, the more interested the better, because it makes it easier to talk to when going on a date compared to a girl that will give two word answers. Flow down the river, not up the river. 2. Always ask questions and try to keep her talking 80% of the time so that you can keep that mystery, CAUSE WOMEN ARE CURIOUS LIKE CATS, if you tell your whole story, you'll take out that special ingredient of mystery which really drives a girl into wanting to go out with you more to KNOW YOU MORE. 3. A girl already knows you are romantically interested if you ask her out, you don't have to mention it. What you can do is throw obvious hints that you are attracted to her. Be DIRECT BUT IN A PLAYFUL WAY. If she went out with you she most likely is attracted, so be bold and direct, BUT YOU HAVE TO OWN WHAT YOU SAY. DON'T GO BACK ON YOUR WORD OR BE APOLOGETIC if you say something like "Damn I love your lips", or "Damn you have an unbelievable body". 4. Never Text to know a person, use the phone to make calls and arrange dates. Just like in sales. U want to save conversation for the date and YOU WANT TO ACTUALLY KNOW THE GIRL IN PERSON. THAT TAKES BALLS. Always do what takes balls. 5.Never ask for another date on the same date. 6. At first the guy should pursue for the first 3-4 Dates. Meaning you should text first to arrange the date. Make Definite Dates. If you played your cards right she should be texting you about some random shit, assume she wants to see you and make a date right there because women are not direct and are not going to tell you that they want to see you, they just want to see if you are still interested in them and text you some random shit. UNLESSSS SHE IS REALLY INTO YOU AND SHE DOES DIRECTLY SAY SHE WANTS TO SEE YOU. In that case you're good cause she is REALLY interested. Now you change positions, she is pursuing you by texting first and you make a date. Boom, date cleared. She texts again to see you. You Make a date a different day a different place cause you always want to keep it juggling, creates mystery. Boom Date cleared. and you repeat that and you're good CAUSE WOMEN LOVE THE PURSUIT. You never want to tell her where you are going or what is going to happen on the date because that just spoils the date, like spoiling a movie. Every date 80% her talking and you making questions and every time she wants to talk about you, give her a little glimpse on what she asked but not the whole story and redirect it to her. 7. Around this time she should start to fall in love and she should indirectly throw the idea of a relationship. The more into you she is, the more obvious she will be. She might be like "I don't want to talking to other girls" or "I don't want you to be dating other girls but me", that is her way of saying she wants to something serious, but if you are not sure ASK HER. Then it is your decision if you want to commit, if not then tell her, " I'm not willing to commit, and I am just having fun right now" or just be straight up as to why you won't commit, but don't be an ASSHOLE and have her on a leash and trying to manipulate her. BE HONEST. And let her choose if she wants to stick around or if she decides to leave but never force. True love comes when the other person feels free. 8. If you commit, then the idea of a relationship is to keep it the same as when you were dating. Make dates. Be Spontaneous. Don't be too comfortable cause she might drop your ass. Just because the label is there does not mean her attraction can drop. Grow together. Be her Rock. Never argue with Women. Show Respect. Show Self respect and she will respect you. This is very superficial and it is actually more complex but at the same time simple. This is just for me to recap all what I've Learned from my coach Corey Wayne and from lots of experience. Started when I was 14, now 20 years old. As I said it goes deeper and if you really need help with women but the red pill strat does not resonate with you, I recommend you the coach. I am grateful to share this with anyone that sees it because it has truly changed my life for the better. Women are not a worry for me anymore. This guy might actually help you find your purpose/mission in life. LOVE YALL

I think this is excellent advice. I am longing for deeper conversations on dates, hearing the story of someone, and being honest about goals. I don’t want you to flex, I want to know who you are. I’m hopeful there’s men out there like this!

If someone has been through enough failed relationships to be tired of the fun part, that's not a good sign.

This is interesting information, if you can even make use of it. Men who aren't going full pick-up artist don't exactly have women lining up to go on dates with them, and when we do find someone to date, we want to know she's actually attracted to us instead of just using us for free dinner. I didn't see either of these two points addressed here

Will definitly watch the full episode. Loved what this guy said! He seems to be well down to earth.

Thanks for this guys!

One of the saddest things to happen to "red-pill" is the mixing of the medicine in the "manosphere".

such great content! thank you for that chris and adam!

Really good video, learnt a lot, thanks guys 🙏

GOD DAMN... I so needed to see this video. And so glad I did.

Wow. I’ve listened to a lot of dating videos and this has been one of the most powerful.

Doing what you know is different than a mistake. Who's to say something is wrong if they don't know what's right or wrong🤷🏽‍♀️. Communicate what you want, don't have expectations... Accept the person for who they are showing up as versus the person you have in your head. If they share the morals and values are supportive etc. Know that it'll take years for you to either grow together or apart. If your foundation is solid and honest, water it and build love together. If your dating with the end goal of life partners, let's talk about what comes along with that, everything! Communication is key, honest and raw communication.

Great talk! Love it 😊

This is great advice

The main thing guys and equally women should do when interracting with eachother is being honest. And I don’t mean plain verbal honesty but general expressive honesty. Sit for a while. Breath. Yes tell a story. Don’t overload everything with too much meaning, too many questions that swirl in your head. Don’t play games or hit targets. Do your best to be aware of yourself, your peer and have an actual conversation. Sometimes it’s better to say “hey I have no idea how to do this” than fake it till you make it mindset. There’s too much of that online. So a simple honest expression not charged with bullshit I believe always works. And yes fun is good. Always better than taking it way too serious.

Biggest mistake - listen to a random person on the internet.

very very good stuff

Dude! Thanks. Feel like this is stuff i used to intuitively know. But pursuing PUA stuff overrode this intuition. I have definitely felt that the PUA stuff has brought down the wrong track.

I'm pretty sure this guy has never been on a fourth date.

Wow, Ive listened to a lot of dating coach advice and this really seems like solid advice. I like this guy.

i think the hardest part about dating is getting a date. Once youre there stuff goes on its own. vibes do the rest. getting a date pretty much is how attractive you are and how likeable your personality is on first sight.

The last girl I was talking to actually told me the opposite of what he's saying. She said I focused on others too much and that I should talk about myself more and that she felt I always put the spotlight on others because of course I'd speak about my friends and family in a favorable manner.

Fact that Chris with as much experience as you have with women do not push back against this highly misguided charlatan is very telling about your ability to handle real intellectual honesty and rigor.

0:55 - I'd prefer to hear this line of thinking communicated more deeply than "if you're passionate about it, how could it be boring?" One persons passion, genuinely communicated can definitely be boring. Seems to contradict (7) - They share the wrong kinds of stories (9:46)

The biggest mistake I seem to make is not earning enough money... I love my job and I have ambitions but I'm never going to earn a fortune on this path. It's frustrating that is so important to women.

All this doesn't take into account the fact that a great deal of men *don't* have a goal in life and will not achieve anything great.

I think this should be context for commitment

this is good and legit,

Well, all I can say is good luck! Most women in their 20s don’t care about getting serious. Of course there are some women in the grey area who do want a serious relationship but that’s far and few in between. Marriage and family is put on the back burner these days. I know this guy means well but this information would only work on mature women, women 35+.

Excellent video Chris! Very insightful and changed the way I view dating

Better idea: Don't lower yourself to dating....

Smith is at his best here in this cut / clip.

This is the same type of simp that will bring the girl for 'a dinner' in the first date 🤣

"I am tired of having fun I am ready to settle down now" lmao. Dude on the right looks like he is about to give me a lecture about how it's okay that his wifes boyfriend gets the weekends while he takes care of the kids.

In my opinion. People put expectations on their partner they can even uphold themselves. Like low body count, slim/fit, clean living. And i think the attitude people have that im not going to be exclusive until i know we have a releationship is wrong. If you have a date on friday(and its monday). Then dont have sex with other people before then. Be exclusive from the moment you agree to go on a date.

To piggyback the first point, lots of guys need to have a real world goal that a woman can see herself fitting into. Being delusional and having a goal of being the next Elon Musk doesn’t send the message you think it does. It’s not social media exciting, but having a life goal of slowly/steadily progressing career and income wise while maintaining a good family and retiring comfortably with a nice 401k sounds pretty great to most quality women.

So basically, the secure man will treat his dates like job interviews.

The dude conflates being red pill aware with being a pick-up artist. These are two completely different concepts. Being red pilled means understanding female hypergamous nature, chasing excellence, maintaining frame, etc. Ghosting a girl for three days is just some dumb pick-up artistry. Do not mix concepts.

For men that don't know, it's possible to be a guy who is bangable (takes care of his appearance, confident, mysterious) AND also marriable (goal oriented, emotionally stable, good communicator). Once you become that, then it's just a matter of getting better at screening / analyzing women so you can differentiate the party girls from the relationship oriented girls. It's actually pretty simple... party girls rush things and relationship girls take their time with you. However, like Adam said in the video, if you're used to only dealing with party girls, you might perceive the relationship oriented girls as uninterested because they're not blowing up your phone and trying to rip your pants off from the get go. The good ones are out there but you have to be a good one first.

When was the last time this guy even went on a date?

Building a slide deck to showcase my value to her😮 Missing Rollo here: concepts such as genuine desire, long term security, spinning plates etc

Its crazy that some people would take any advice from internet and take it like doctors advice. Its just a discussion. He is making his points. It can create the conversation and stimulate different ideas. Dont just listen and copy bluntly anything people say on internet. Take a little bit, test in safe environment and make your own informed decision

I’ll take the dating coach. Please and thank you. 🤣 J/K!

My wife was just laughing at everything I said.. 17 years later dam I’m still there. Lol

Anyone can make themselves ten times more attractive if they become good conversationalists. The most attractive people can totally blow a date if they can't hold a conversation.

Problem is, some of the advice that was given, sounds like the perfect antidote for "Attracting Gold Diggers" :(

8 Things to do on a date 1. Don’t be ugly 2. Be taller than her 3. Don’t be unemployed 4. Have good hygiene 5. Agree with 90% of her political views 6. Deny knowing what red pill is 7. Wait for her to bring up sex 8. Pay for the date Repeat 2 more dates….

100% yes

Nice

"What do you want?" ~ third date, my now wife.

Give her that and she will tell you, youre too much and get scared ...

60 % of the time, these tactics work every time!

Dude this guy is so right, take the advice!

1. Not being rich 2. Not being at least 6' 6" tall 3. Not looking like one of the 10 most handsome men on earth

what this man has said, works with women 40+ who are interested in deep connections and long talks, for most of the other ones, if you do what he said, you will never get a second date.

What if I consider a fun conversation to be my love for lubricants or model railroads

Great

I know, as a more self-aware woman now, that I attract what I am. If you are fake, you attract fake; if you are happy with yourself, you attract someone happy with themselves. We always attract our mirrors. The question is - who are you now and would you be ok with attracting the same person?

Never been on a date my entire life 😅

As a woman this is so on point ! Thank you for that video

This idea that you have to have a mission and want to change the world in order to be loved and appreciated is not healthy. I'm all for self improvement and aspirations but I think most of us are ordinary people just trying our best to get through life, and most of the women we will talk to are as well. Let's take the pressure off a little hey?

Biggest Mistake men make is they dont vet for sexuaI attraction

But yes, neediness is the biggest turn off (he kind of brushed that question off) 😬 Probably for men too.

"Hi. Who are you?" All you need to know, really. My view is that Date #1 is Introductions, Date #2 is Deciding, Date #3 is Decided, and then you go from there.

the first point was so on point haha. its something i as a woman didnt realize until i heard it explained here and it exactly describes my boyfriend, who is the most attractive guy i have met so far

This guy is living in 2005

This is spot on.. I would add that men need to learn to actively listen and be able to engage in meaningful dialogue, not just tell stories.

I’ll tell you - telling the woman the details about what went wrong in their last relationship in the first five minutes of our first phone call. It’s a complete attraction killer yet it happens all the time.

When I got out of my comfort zone and started getting to know a girl I liked, I messed it up because I didn't know what to do, so I just sat down with her shoulder to shoulder uninvited and she must have thought that was really awkward since she left a few minutes later without a word. Later when I started talking with her again a month or so later when she seemed to be interested again, I messed up again by unconsciously kinda lovebombing cuz I got anxious/insecure that she was going to leave again. Well, she left anyways. I have definitively learnt alot from this experience and won't make the same mistakes again.

'trying to please mom and you'll only come across avoidant women who will eventually dump you' Wow, summing up my relationship with my ex fiancé...Im starting to see that's what I was doing

Number 1 big mistake, going on the date in the first place.

Just deleted all my dating apps. Probably won't be going on a date for a while...

This is a little bit of a straw-man of what red pill is.

I disagree with the second last, as I find it’s important to listen for moral intentions rather than stating as some agree falsely to appear more appealing. Everything else #💯

Exactly. make some effort, but don't try too hard and seem needy. contact her but, don't contact her too much. Use the force Luke. I already have my family but I feel so bad for younger men trying to date today. Modern dating advice reminds me of the Sphinx from Mystery Men: He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions.When you care what is outside, what is inside cares for you. To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn. You must be like wolf pack, not six-pack.

So, this would have been "ok" like 10+ years ago. It would work because a lot of this advice would be helpful to low status/low leverage men. Now? Wrong unless you are dating an older woman who has run out of options. Nowadays you are most likely going to meet a woman who at least gave you a shot against other men so in a way you at least have a decent foot in the door because she already had to kick out a bunch of other men as options. If you are dating a woman with options (ie: she uses social media/apps which is almost every person, let alone woman) you pretty much have to do what "Workout with Wayne" said (I disagree with 5-7) in the comments down there. Basically as a man you probably no longer have the luxury of a smaller dating pool with less competition vs other men like our predecessors had. You have to be taller and wealthier than other men in a MUCH larger dating pool (your city, sometimes the entire country and rarely even the world); if you are on a date you probably already passed most of these thresholds. Maintain your advantage. Do not ever mention difficulties in economics unless the ending of the story is how you overcame them (that actually can turn women on/make them like you more). Additionally if they ask about money, if you travel, your hobbies etc they are trying to figure out (even if sometimes they aren't aware themselves) your wealth, your ambition and your potential. That's fine, you don't have to cross them off as a "gold digger," (almost)all women like money just like all men like youthful women who are beautiful. What you have to look for is if they have a good narrative in their lives. In other words what do they plan to do with themselves, the relationship and the money? Do they want to use it to build a family, take care of children, invest towards the future or do they just want to suck you dry (and not in a fun way)? The majority of your initial appeal will be determined by your height, your wealth and your looks; mostly in that order unless you are exceptional (95%+ percentile) in the last category. You'll initially get filtered by height then compared in wealth with other men and your looks are your cherry on top. If you don't make it, do not despair a lot of this was out of your hands the moment your parents had sex. Once you know each other for longer that's when your personality starts to play a role. If you are low in height you are going to have to work harder when it comes to wealth, a lot harder and find women in real life since you'll be filtered out of apps regardless. If you do not meet the height threshold (it's 6'2'' for 72% of women and like 6' for 56% of them) then you want to favor finding women in real life in places like church, hobbies, golf courses, etc.. Same thing if you are of average income (30-50k), you want to go to smaller pools where you can compete against other men of similar status. Generally speaking this isn't a great position to be in because we live in a world where a lot of men are easily replaceable if they are just average. A better man is (in theory, but often not in reality) a right swipe away. Best of luck!

EW no i dont want a woman whos "had her fun"

I'm just a single man in NYC, looking for a woman that communicates, reciprocates effort, and wants a serious relationship (hopefully long term). It is very disappointing that I have not met one woman that meets all three of my criteria. And I haven't even gotten into to the "nice to haves", such as willing to do physical activities together (bicycling, hiking, ping pong, etc.) So having sex by the first 3 dates is not even a priority for me. I have to actually like the woman before I want to have sex with her.

Better than generic advice, but not by much. Most of these mainstream coaches get it wrong. Men shouldn’t be trying to “get the woman”. They should be screening them out. They need to be masculine (oops woke police), confident, fun, and willing to walk away. And if a man asks for commitment after three dates, she’s gonna run from most guys who aren’t tall, good looking, and highly successful.

You guys are having dates?!

does Adam Lane Smith get a lot of women??? if not, why should he give advice? LOL

I'm meeting a girl, we had 2 dates already. Right on time.

Bruh this is like getting “Where’s Waldo” advice from a blind man

As a woman, I think these are great tips!

Refreshingly good advice, for this type of channel. Enough of the games-everybody is sick of them; and they don’t even work anymore!

See marriage might seem that it’s harsher on women, but divorce is evidently a lot harder on men

What the guest never mentions is that most of these women are in their late 30s- early 40s and who have realized that their best years are behind them. Now their dream man is unattainable and they’re willing to settle.

I got a better idea walk away from them and save everything you got.

Disagree with the entire notion that all these women are insecure. Alot of it is they are attracted to what man and dont care what he says. People heavily underestimate attraction. Its not always insecurities

Cant even get a date