90 Day Fiancé - (Mike & Natalie #46) - Ugh - Therapist Reacts

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Dr. Kirk Honda, couples therapist, reacts to 90 Day Fiancé - Mike and Natalie. Includes clips from 90 Day Fiancé (TLC) season 8.
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#90DayFiancé #90Day #MikeandNatalie

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30 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 540

@SwanSow 3 года назад

"Well, speed up the processing..." 🤣🤣🤣

@c4arla 3 года назад

It’s gross specially when she gave him a second chance and he still feels entitled to acting like this. He just wants to date when it’s not an option.

@musingwanderer2765 3 года назад

She’s also weak af I really will just go away and never see him again 🤦‍♀️it’s like so NOT his choice

@sirmel11 3 года назад

@lindsayfreeman7236 3 года назад

@@sirmel11 pp

@lorip9600 3 года назад

@@sirmel11 So true! I wish people would take a step back and think of all the crap that Natalie pulled. How is Mike supposed to feel and act after all that disrespect and humiliation? She's an awful human being.

@danhhoang5947 3 года назад

@@lorip9600 Maybe he should just....dump her? Instead of leading her on?

@jessegarcia7948 3 года назад

Mike: “You know what I mean? Everyone: 📣 NO! 📣

@opocoyo 3 года назад

😩🤣🤣 we are over it!

@YuNGiSLANdPRiNCESs 3 года назад

BRING OUT THE MEGAPHONES 📣"NO!" 📣

@allthatsheiz 3 года назад

😂😂😂😂

@JLynnEchelon 3 года назад

I can't get over someone still being this indecisive. Are you going to be ready to marry her in the next 24 hours? If not, let this girl go.

@momositaa250 3 года назад

😂😂 that damn sentence

@jenrutherford6690 3 года назад

He was able to express himself when he wanted the ring back .

@innerpeacemeditations1613 3 года назад

This 🙌🙌🙌

@J.E.C. 3 года назад

haha, he was very clear about the ring

@SamaraTrollero 3 года назад

Yes!!!!!!

@ununhexium 3 года назад

Well, Dr. Honda was pointing out he wasn't explaining anything about why he wanted the ring or making a case at all, he just kept hounding her with "I want the ring. Give me the ring. You're not going to give me the ring?"

@mollypercet8593 3 года назад

😂😂😂😂

@Zullala 3 года назад

It really bothers me that he was crying and sobbing to have a hug from her and to be able to continue talking to her but when she does come back he just sits there like a clod of dirt on a dry, hot day.

@thebowandbullet 3 года назад

Yes! Never heard that expression before, but it's perfect for the way he's just lounging there with a blank/bored look on his face.

@Zullala 3 года назад

@@thebowandbullet I just made it up haha. Glad it makes sense!

@sarahdee374 3 года назад

My hypothesis on the "want a final hug" scene was that he really wanted to get her out of the car so he'd have more control/leverage to convince her to give back the ring. Oh, this clod of dirt behavior is disgusting. He acts like a 3 year old child. I feel such an energy drain watching this, like he's slogging thru quicksand. AND he will take Natalie down with him, if she let's him. However, if he will not make a decision, Natalie must be a self responsible adult and do what's right for her. Get on a plane, get home, when you're feeling healed look for a grown-up man who deserves you!

@Zullala 3 года назад

@@sarahdee374 ooooo I didn't think about that!

@thebowandbullet 3 года назад

@@sarahdee374 That was my thought too. After all he put her through, this is the only thing he seemed to care about (getting the ring back). And why? He wants to get a refund? Is it about money?

@moomoocachoo9025 3 года назад

It is frustrating to see. I've mentioned this before, but what I hate the most about the situation is that it's clear Mike checked out of the relationship a long time ago, but he continued to have sex with Natalie. Considering how Natalie is, I'm sure that this made her feel somewhat hopeful that they could fix their problems and move on, only to find that nothing changed and it got worse.

@stephsteph47 3 года назад

Honestly, yeah. He’s getting paid by TLC and he has access to sex. This is a pretty sweet deal for him. No wonder he won’t pull the trigger.

@Im_so_Retro85 3 года назад

Yup, you're absolutely right. He is a scumbag. I lost all respect for him.

@geviei 3 года назад

@@Im_so_Retro85 He's disgusting!

@mistressmandyz 3 года назад

Yes! No respect for this man and his shitty double standards. He can treat her like shit for years on end because she gave the ring back once, but she's supposed to stick around after he damn near left her at the altar and STILL won't offer any reassurances?!

@thedudeabides5695 3 года назад

@@mistressmandyz AAANNNDDD HE WANTS THE RING BACK NOW! AFTER WHINING AAAAALLLLL SEASON ABOUT HER GIVING IT BACK!!!!!

@AnimationAwesomness 3 года назад

You know it's gonna be a wild ride when Dr. Honda titles an Ep "Ugh"

@eseesa 3 года назад

😂

@countesscosmic405 3 года назад

I don't think that Mike should be in any relationship. He should just live out in the woods with his cat and Uncle Beau.

@thedudeabides5695 3 года назад

Is it alarming that Uncle Beau seems more reliable than Mike?

@elenap.3787 3 года назад

Word!

@4us2grow 3 года назад

yeah.. especially after she divorces him and takes half his stuff.. It's just a matter of time.

@loredanadincu7930 3 года назад

@@4us2grow They are already divorced separated, whatever. How uncle said recently, about a week ago.

@pinkpugginz 3 года назад

@@4us2grow why do guys always bring this up? I'm sure he would have had her sign a prenup. and, even if they didn't, she doesn't automatically get "half his stuff"

@dahAbyss 3 года назад

love that title Dr. Kirk

@thelivingrisi7233 3 года назад

Mike wants Nat to make the decision, so he's not accountable for the marriage, and then blame Nat for anything that goes wrong.

@emiyo4635 3 года назад

You crack the code. And that was how happened. damn

@daniellei.9821 3 года назад

My 2 cents: If you have to convince someone to get married to you, he is not the one! Plus, if you simply “don’t know”, it’s because it’s not meant to be! 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

@baybeetricia 3 года назад

Facts!

@IzzysTravelDiaries 3 года назад

The problem here is that she most likely doesn't have money to go home. So she needs him to buy a ticket for her. However, since he's refusing to do anything, she's stuck. I think at this point she just wants a resolution.

@maddievic2 3 года назад

Well said!

@baybeetricia 3 года назад

@@IzzysTravelDiaries she actually had a ticket, which she forfeited. She really doesn't want to leave the US so she's gonna force things (and put him in a position to do what she wants), cause being a wife is important to her and her image (remember she said people are going to laugh at her?),

@salisburyt 3 года назад

He is just not into you right

@Belikel 3 года назад

..."you know what I mean?" NO, Mike, NOBODY knows. Do you even know?! At this point I start wondering if he's not telling because he's afraid of getting hurt or if he is so little in contact with his own feelings that he simply cannot work through his own wants and needs, just like Brandon.

@LoverHotelTokio 3 года назад

I can't believe how patient Natalie is being, he's so energy draining 😑

@dogtrainer4645 3 года назад

He would have totally driven me to drink!! 🍸🍷🍹🍺

@loredanadincu7930 3 года назад

She's what, patient. Didn't you sad her scrunching her teeth and saying fuming that her VISA is almost out but he still thinking. I guess he didn't show it hear. When I saw that I was expecting fumes go out of her ears like in cartoons. Also they both talked with a lawyer and the was very rude with that lady that vad nothing to do with anything.

@sirmel11 3 года назад

I think Natalie ruined the relationship being mean, calling him stupid, low class, saying his uncle has to leave, constantly asking for the ring, complaining about his eating habits, and the misunderstanding of the root beer and stir fry. I feel like people are going easy on her because she's a woman. I 100% think Mike should speak his thoughts at this point but I also feel like if a man did all the things that Natalie did, people would be calling him abusive. No one seems to be calling Natalie verbally abusive which she is. I noticed a couple a weeks ago when Mike stood up to her, people tried to poke and find problems with that because apparently standing up in an argument is threatening? I don't think he did anything wrong. He's just tired of her crap.

@pinkpugginz 3 года назад

@@sirmel11 or you can stop being a misogynist. people go crazy on natalie way worse than Mike all the time. this video shows Mike's true colors. just because Mike didn't call her low class and an alcoholic doesn't mean he isn't being manipulative.

@sirmel11 3 года назад

@@pinkpugginz I'll say what I want. Natalie is a bad person.

@duringdiana7348 3 года назад

He's daring her to leave, and she should take that dare!

@allthatsheiz 3 года назад

🗣 Say it again !

@kellyarora6950 3 года назад

I would’ve left a long time ago. Can’t marry a guy I can’t rely on

@methosimortal 3 года назад

I'm really confused about the whole thing ... like does she really have no money of her own at this point?!? like why was she dependent on him paying that night at the hotel room? I can't believe she would just come to America with no finances whatsoever. also isn't TLC paying them some sort of salary? I've heard people claim its small (even though we hear of people on this show being worth a good chunk of change by this point) but no matter how small, it still should be enough to pay for a night at the hotel, cab fare and a train ride from France. She really needs to get out of there!

@MsMSB2012 3 года назад

Mike's skin looks baaaad at the end there. Makes me wonder if the drinking is worse than portrayed.

@thedudeabides5695 3 года назад

Looks like he's gonna stroke out

@IzzysTravelDiaries 3 года назад

Anyone else screamed at the TV "just make a @#&# decision!"?

@jenrutherford6690 3 года назад

I reckon made a decision but he knows it will be hard for him to find someone else.

@amihuss773 3 года назад

Yep! Its so frustrating for me to watch mike's stoic reactions. He gives me a headache. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I hope Natalie finds someone better who truly loves her.

@crazy4beatles 3 года назад

I’m an indecisive person and still felt like this.

@oromtitiwbo5078 3 года назад

🤣🤣🤣🤣 he's literally doing this to torture her. why is she SO patient? she'll be locked up by ICE and 98 years old still going "👵🏻:Mykal! tell me ze truz, what do you zink? do you want to marry me or not?" "👴🏻: iunno"

@anarchist_parable 3 года назад

I'm sorry but Mike is full of something. Natalie has been the only vulnerable one at this point. She's CONSTANTLY telling him how she feels, where she stands, what she needs even if it's not entirely appropriate. She's told him that she wants to work on the relationship. I have no idea what he wanted from her and I don't think he did either.

@princesstelevision67 3 года назад

I think he's ego tripping. He likes that she's at the mercy of his whims. Makes him feel important.

@h8a1c3 3 года назад

We should probably remember that she's been pretty nasty to him at times. She's no angel. But you're right that he's jerking her around at this point. I definitely wouldn't stick around for it.

@princesstelevision67 3 года назад

@@h8a1c3 how does her being nasty a month or more prior justify his bad behavior?

@FabiolaRVela 3 года назад

@@princesstelevision67 it doesn’t ,but don’t forget how abusive she’s been to him too. They’re both awful to each other.

@princesstelevision67 3 года назад

@@FabiolaRVela you guys keep saying that , but it still doesn't give Mike the moral high ground, so what's your point?

@eleanorday1854 3 года назад

Mikes attitude, phrases and expressions drive me crazyyyyyyyy🤯🥊💥 I couldn’t waste any effort on a person like this....for my own sanity😅

@toocutepuppies6535 3 года назад

Anybody who has this much trouble "deciding" is really having a tough time saying "no." 🤔

@TheRandomINFJ 3 года назад

That dark green looks great on Natalie. Just saying.

@loredanadincu7930 3 года назад

No it doesen't

@silvia-with-an-i 3 года назад

You deserve to be with someone who craves your presence and loves you unrestrainedly. Not this wishy-washy BS. Learn from this kids.

@bashmeesh 3 года назад

Exactly. I had to learn it by living it. 💯💗

@silvia-with-an-i 3 года назад

@@bashmeesh I'm sorry you had to experience first-hand. But I'm proud of the person you have become and of the wisdom you've reaped.

@bashmeesh 3 года назад

@@silvia-with-an-i wow thank you Silvia. Your kinds words are well received.

@kmonkey8874 3 года назад

where do i find this?

@silvia-with-an-i 3 года назад

@@kmonkey8874 I asked myself the same thing countless times.

@MA1.5 3 года назад

How she didn’t chuck a pink slipper at his head is beyond me. You would really think she’s asking what he wants to order for take out with his demeanor.

@YummyReads 3 года назад

Lol so true! Natalie: what do you want to order for dinner? Mike: *shrugs* I don't know Natalie: do you want to marry me tomorrow? Mike: *shrugs* I don't know

@thedudeabides5695 3 года назад

@@YummyReads Don't forget his classic trademark: "We've got a lot to work on".....(like what, specifically????)

@sirmel11 3 года назад

@MA1.5 3 года назад

@@sirmel11 that’s because Mike wore an earpiece the entire time he confronted her, like some sort of 21st century Cyrano de Bergerac.

@ptrsrfns 3 года назад

Mike is the master BSer. If he doesn't want to be with her, just let her go. Why be so cryptic? He is being wishy washy cause he really doesn't care about her.

@KarenSmallwood 3 года назад

Right! He’s hoping she will sleep with him again tho. Not cool, Mike.

@ptrsrfns 3 года назад

@@KarenSmallwood you may be right. Usually the craziest ones are also the freakiest ones 🔥🔥🔥

@thelivingrisi7233 3 года назад

He wants revenge.

@EE-jc3wp 3 года назад

It’s like pulling teeth. I don’t know why Natalie keeps on pushing. You shouldn’t have to pressure someone or convince someone to marry you. Just leave him alone he needs to find his own healing because he’s not ready to be with anyone right now.

@J.E.C. 3 года назад

Some people can not change that quickly their course of actions once they are mentally set on something. It takes time. Also she has this wrong belief that he is her last chance if life to have a family and she thinks that she needs to fight for it. Also he sends her mixed signals. Also she is a bit ashamed returning back home after she proudly left to "get married" and people will talk behind her back that she probably did something wrong. This is Ukraine.

@Fauxlie 3 года назад

shes addicted to it :(

@princesstelevision67 3 года назад

Because he's not consistently distant. He gives her enough tenderness or whatever to keep her hoping then when she wants more he withdraws and acts like she's a harpy who wants too much from him and he gets to feel wanted, or put upon and Natalie feels like she has to change herself to make Mike happy. Once you're in this pattern, it's hard to see that you need to remove yourself from it because you think you're the problem and you're just happy he's giving you a chance. Then she acts up out of frustration and digs herself into a even deeper hole. I hope she's out of it for good.

@EE-jc3wp 3 года назад

@@princesstelevision67 yeah it’s a toxic pattern. :/

@kmonkey8874 3 года назад

It's hard when you are like Natalie. Preoccupied or anxious, and relentlessly pursuing. Can't help myself sometimes. It's called hope. And it won't go away. :(

@doubleketo2170 3 года назад

Mike sucks! Natalie should find someone who can express his feelings. I wouldn't wait for him to figure this out. She deserves better. And he needs therapy. I use to have hope for these 2 last season, but not anymore.

@bashmeesh 3 года назад

Same. I'm like ✂️ the cord. It's painful at this point.

@jenrutherford6690 3 года назад

He doesn't want to get married. That is so clear .

@thebowandbullet 3 года назад

Mike is consistently apathetic, passive and unmotivated. Even if he's not that way inside, it doesn't matter in the end because he can't process/express it. Seems to me he's long overdue for therapy and too broken to get into a relationship, let alone get married. Relationships are work at the best of times; with all these unaddressed red flags, I see no future for this relationship. Natalie has her issues, but she's shown some self-awareness and humility about them, and a willingness to change/improve. Mike is practically an inanimate object throughout all this. Maybe he's extremely depressed on top of his other issues? He just seems to have no motivation whatsoever.

@sirmel11 3 года назад

@thebowandbullet 3 года назад

@@sirmel11 I can't say I like/dislike either of them, I don't know them personally. I can only comment on the behaviour they show in these videos from Dr. Honda (I don't actually watch the show itself). The point I was making was that they both have issues, but Natalie is the only one who showed any willingness to admit to making mistakes and seeking help (therapy). Mike never admits he does anything wrong, blames her for everything, and is generally very passive. As such, Natalie is more functional than he is right now. He seems completely stuck, relationally, but he refuses to admit to any faults or seeking help. They both have work to do, but Mike has yet to make the first step toward his own healing/improvement.

@Nicole_Riviere 3 года назад

What is triggering about his behavior is that you don’t feel heard or seen. And it also feels like Mike is dishonest and just wanting to get rid of the people asking him.

@bashmeesh 3 года назад

If Natalie leaves in the morning and it takes her more than one day to get home, wouldn't that significantly increase the possibility of detainment? I'd be very scared traveling across the world with only 1 day of legality.

@IzzysTravelDiaries 3 года назад

If she leaves the country that day, she should be fine. Probably even if she just goes through the airport passport check.

@baybeetricia 3 года назад

Once she is out of the country on day 90, she won't have any issues

@bashmeesh 3 года назад

Okay thanks!! Good to know.

@J.E.C. 3 года назад

@@EmOrganizer exactly, they probably won't detain her, but it may be her last US visit.

@gabbyb9418 3 года назад

@@bashmeesh yeah its not an immediate thing. It certainly doesn't mean she will be detained, probably even if she stayed for an extra week. Fined? Maybe. Not allowed to get a visa again? Probably. But no detainment i think.

@MiMi-yt8nw 3 года назад

Total speculation but if she would have straight up asked if he wanted to get married tomorrow, he would have said “I don’t know”

@J.E.C. 3 года назад

I think at some point she asked, it did not help

@gabbyb9418 3 года назад

@@J.E.C. well like Dr Honda said, she can point blank say, "do you want to get married tomorrow? Anything less than a resounding yes is a no, ESPECIALLY "I don't know", that will equal "no" in my book because we don't have time for you to figure it out, so now, DO YOU WANT TO MARRY ME TOMORROW?" When she was ready to go home he was all happy she came back seemingly and now that she's rolling over again he's again losing interest. He seems to like a chase.

@thedudeabides5695 3 года назад

She DID ask that....

@bashmeesh 3 года назад

My personal opinion is no matter how vulnerable she could become it wouldn't matter. She could give the sincerest apology in the world regarding the ring, she could speak on the fact she said she didn't know she loved him (I'm not even sure she knows that one is bugging him). Even if she said every word perfect, gravelled for forgiveness....I don't think he would come around. Just my pessimistic two cents at this point.

@kjm5980 3 года назад

I agree. I had a man like Mike. No matter how much individual therapy I went to, how vulnerable I got, how much I learned about conflict resolution, or how much I carefully chose my words to be as open, non-accusatory, and understanding as possible, it was never enough. He still shut down and refused to talk. He never sought help himself. So glad I’m out, it eats up so much mental energy.

@gabbyb9418 3 года назад

@@kjm5980 sometimes thats the best thing you can do for someone so you don't enable them, although the more important part is that you are happier now. You did the right thing!

@magopal5610 3 года назад

I used to really root for Mike, but his outer indifference (notice I said outer, I have no idea what he's actually feeling) has made him one of the most frustrating people on this show for me. Natalie has a lot of gross parts to her personality too, but my god, if I were her I'd be so out at this point. Screw this. Everyone should have someone who LOVES them, passionately.

@inesolujic2534 3 года назад

Same

@sirmel11 3 года назад

I agree that Natalie has a lot of gross parts to her personality. I hate how people act like Mike is worse. lol

@calimntgirl34 3 года назад

Yeah I liked him at first....I can't STAND him now ...he's gross ....he's an asshole, he's rude, he's apathetic,and disrespectful...I could go on and on....oh and now we know that he's a racist....

@mariemoncada6980 3 года назад

Mike never got over her saying she didn't love him on camera.

@J.E.C. 3 года назад

he told her the same on camera later, so what. his issue is internal, not external.

@TheKim369 3 года назад

Complaining that she didn't like purple flowers, calling him low class, suggesting he has a low IQ, pulling the silent treatment when he couldn't take her to the waterfalls for a week, suggesting he was dishonest and unsuitable because he didn't go to church, nagging him about food and drink, complaining that his place smells, ruining every meal that contains meat, saying how great her ex treated her compared to him, snooping through his stuff, saying he's a scary drunk, throwing back his ring ans saying she didn't love him. Her low end acting and manipulation. She wasn't in love, she wanted to relocate to US. He had been in love and was maybe hoping that spark would come back. Still, he should have kicked her to the curb a long time ago.

@sirmel11 3 года назад

@@TheKim369 I'm glad someone is bringing this up. People in the comments are acting like idiots. They act like Natalie is a saint. She's a piece of crap.

@lorip9600 3 года назад

@@sirmel11 Oh yes, it bothers me also that so many people think Natalie is a victim. SHE is the one who criticised and belittled Mike at every opportunity. These idiots also don't realise that Mike was a saint to put up with all her shit. Of course, he was apathetic towards her? Who wouldn't be? He should have kicked her ass to the curb.

@emiyo4635 3 года назад

@@lorip9600 Mike is dead inside

@ItsAlreadyRendered 3 года назад

Haven't watched the video yet but just judging by the "ugh" in the title it does not bode well.

@HellsKawaiiAngel 3 года назад

As horribly frustrating as this is, I can understand Natalie not wanting to give up on the marriage even after everything that has happened. I mean, she has ONE day to make it back to Europe (not even her own country, just Europe) and then figure out the logistics of where she's going to stay, how she's going to survive (I assume this is the point where all the supermarkets were empty + she probably doesn't have enough money to last her for very long in a foreign country + they aren't exactly known for being fluent in English in France), if she has to quarantine etc etc, all while living with the uncertainty of whether or not she's even going to make it back to her own country in one piece? If I were her I'd marry anyone to be able to stay for the next few months at least. Sheesh.

@J.E.C. 3 года назад

people were staying at the airports for weeks around this time because flights were cancelled or borders were closed. slept on the floors, washed in bathrooms. and she barely had any money with her. and she doesn't seem to have any problem solving skills to handle stressful situations like that. this trip would be a disaster.

@allthatsheiz 3 года назад

@@J.E.C. yes omg 😳 this would be waaaay to much for Natalie especially how bad the situation was. Hell it was too much for most people at the time

@FabiolaRVela 3 года назад

@@J.E.C. i can’t believe a grown woman decide to leave her country without a dime to her name to marry a dude who CLEARLY didn’t seem excited about marrying her...

@sirmel11 3 года назад

She can go back to where she lived? What's the issue?

@HellsKawaiiAngel 3 года назад

@@sirmel11 she has said many times that her country had closed its borders at the time of filming, so I imagine it’s not exactly easy to get in or out as you please. My country had some people stranded for months because of the chaos surrounding the pandemic at the time and not knowing what to do with incoming and outgoing flights

@nicolina4050 3 года назад

Natalie shouldn’t have to convince him. This looks very traumatic and draining for Natalie.

@loredanadincu7930 3 года назад

Natalie has another reason to keep pushing for the weeding.

@sirmel11 3 года назад

Almost like how draining this relationship has been with the crap she put him through.

@nicolina4050 3 года назад

@@sirmel11 He could have taken ownership of his thoughts, feelings and desires and communicated them so they could both move on then.

@ShOsH050 3 года назад

I know exactly his type. If she stopped caring, and started to walk away he will run looking for her!

@princesstelevision67 3 года назад

He did!

@Mr-wt4eo 3 года назад

That's a male thing anyway, they like the chase.

@princesstelevision67 3 года назад

@@Mr-wt4eo that's a toxic male thing.

@thedudeabides5695 3 года назад

@@Mr-wt4eo Not me...I'm not chasing anyone who doesn't want me....

@Lof_Lof- 3 года назад

At this point I just feel he wants to humiliate her...

@FiveFiftyFive 3 года назад

He's "processing" how to get that ring back!

@thedudeabides5695 3 года назад

It's an appropriate reply, given that he has all the emotion of a computer....

@optionhotdogmeowkshake4090 3 года назад

Exactly 👏👏

@baybeetricia 3 года назад

Happy Good Friday (if you celebrate it that is) Dr. Honda and fellow viewers 🙋🏾‍♀️

@bashmeesh 3 года назад

Happy Good Friday!

@liskofod8711 3 года назад

Thank you from Denmark 🐣

@baybeetricia 3 года назад

@Avery When nah. I said exactly what I said. You could have scrolled on by if you don't agree. By the way, Happy Easter

@jenjohnson492 3 года назад

@@baybeetricia Happy Easter!

@charlenecampo3193 3 года назад

Dealt with someone like this. I find that there are times when they can clearly say 'no' when I suggest something that they don't want (instead of asking a yes or no question), but are back to being inarticulate when I ask them what they do want from me. It's crazy-making behaviour, especially because they hate when I leave, but don't actively put any effort to show that they care and want me around. I ended up cutting contact without telling them so they can't convince me to stick around for another round of this draining nonsense.

@abi_n 3 года назад

Whooo... I don't think I have ever responded to these videos, but I have such countertransference with this (all season, but especially this clip) and was happy to see and hear your own, Dr. Kirk. My countertransferential reaction is anxiety because watching this, it felt like other times when I have felt I was in a double-bind. Mike has verbally expressed sorrow about his cold feet and happiness about her return, and yet his current body language seems dismissive and aloof here. His body appears relaxed and casual, as though time is not of the essence, while verbally communicating that time is certainly of the essence regarding a decision. He then verbally inquires about what she wants and would like to do (as though he is open to dialogue and offering mutual control), only to be met with a vague, hollow answer that sounds like he has no agency in the outcome. It IS feeling crazy-making like you said, Dr. Kirk! It is so unclear what way she could possibly engage to get a concrete answer and congruent behavior out of him. The mismatch of affect, verbal, and nonverbal behaviors are difficult to navigate. So much ambiguity makes me anxious! It's hard to assess what is "reality" here.

@nas487 3 года назад

I’ve had relationships like these. And the feeling of pulling teeth for simple answers gets tiring..

@yesway3074 3 года назад

This scene made me crazy. This kind of controlling behavior really triggered me. I can just FEEL what Natalie must be feeling. Such frustration. Still processing? That should have started before you brought her to the US.

@Carolinevanmeerbeek 3 года назад

We've seen Mike being very articulate and communicative in the first season. I think he's been traumatized by Natalie and has lost his faith in this relationship. He loved her and got hurt in the process.

@minra9682 3 года назад

Uhhhh I came too early, there's no comments about the vid. I like reading comments so I'll come back later 🤗

@isabelamontgomery9182 3 года назад

Gaaaaahhhhhhh Mike’s passiveness is making me wanna pull my hair out!!! 😤😓🤯

@Im_so_Retro85 3 года назад

Mike just wants Natalie to make the decision, so he doesn't have to feel guilty. That man knows damn well he had no intentions of marrying her. He just had an apportunity to have a woman stay with him and give him attention and sex for 90 days. He is selfish, inconsiderate and cruel. Men like him don't have the balls to take accountability for their actions.

@abi_n 3 года назад

This captures the dynamic in a nutshell: around @9:47 Natalie: Please talk to me, please. Mike: I'm right here. I'm listening to you. She asks him to talk. He "talks" by making her do all the talking. I think he genuinely believes listening IS talking. 🤦🏾‍♀️ "Ugh" indeed.

@thedudeabides5695 3 года назад

Well, he DOES make incredibly vague statements.....so there's that....

@emeraldpilgrimfireuma 3 года назад

Mike the sadist is gratuitously watching her suffer. edit - typo

@Susanne-323- 3 года назад

Hi five to all straight talkers 🙌🏻

@christined2495 3 года назад

Mike takes pleasure out of playing head games with Natalie I hope she goes back home, and leaves him, he will never find a woman, he is a big DRIP She is better off going home, and being close to her mother, why would any woman stay with someone who doesn’t know if he wants to be with her.... Natalie needs to have some self respect, and tell him where to GO

@Germania72 3 года назад

Yes, that's the same reaction I have: "Ugh!" I understand that she's now in a very difficult position, but marrying him on a whim? I still don't see what she sees in him and yes, I watched all the clips you analyzed with her bashing him because of his body, his drinking habit blah-blah-blah and because she can't help her jealousy. I don't see what he sees in her, either. This man doesn't speak at all! He doesn't say anything concrete! He's infuriating. I don't see they have anything in common, no foundation at all. They can get married, but I don't think they will last too long.

@princesstelevision67 3 года назад

I'm guessing there's a block head somewhere in Natalie's past.

@ChocolatKate 3 года назад

[Spoiler Alert Warning] According to a tabloid, Uncle Beau confirmed that Mike and Natalie got married but are now separated. I also heard that Natalie is now living in Seattle.

@Germania72 3 года назад

@@ChocolatKate So then...nothing surprising. I don't watch the show, I just watch Dr. Kirk's videos and I never saw any chemistry between them. Everything was a struggle that had nothing to do with the language barrier. They never clicked.

@daniellefowler1918 3 года назад

Mike is like every NPC in video games...repeating boring dialogue options and no depth...the story will never progress with him.

@tonichan89 3 года назад

natalie: we have to get married tomorrow or I have to go home. do you want to get married or not? mike: idk might decide later

@Nikkiwhatarethose 3 года назад

I think he's not saying anything so he doesn't have to do the dirty work himself. He's leading the conversation towards a surrendering futile kinda space but he doesn't want to actually say the word, I think he would rather Natalie be the one to finally verbalise that "we need to break up" so he can say "you said it not me" or the gist of that. If I'm right, then it's super cowardly and just really low. Only reason I'm bringing this theory up is because I had a friend who would do this constantly in relationships, when things started to turn sour they would push their partner away so much that their partner cracks and talks about breaking up, which is what they wanted all along. They didn't want to be seen as the "bad guy", ultimately they were just trying to save their reputation.

@carosacha 3 года назад

I remember how he felt when she called him to say her visa was approved and she was going to travel to America soon. He wasn’t happy or excited, he was freaking out, scared. I seriously believe these two are too different to be matched, they have always been. She complains of literally everything he does, eating meat, drinking beer etc. He likes the simple life in small town and doesn’t have ambitions. Which is all good, but they aren’t meant to be together. He just shouldn’t have let her travel to America in the first place.

@YuNGiSLANdPRiNCESs 3 года назад

You said that he may have avoidant attachment and keep explaining the meaning of it...but after all this, we have seen Natalie break down and cry, seek help from friends and professionals, and even apologize and try to move forward when she felt he had cheated on her. The only time we see him cry was when she was about to leave, but then proceeds to ask her for the ring back. When she had broken down and constantly begged to leave, he pushed further by asking for a hug and not moving away from the car. Now here we are, after all he did to hurt her in the end...and he is very unmotivated to actually TRY for a better future. I get what you mean Dr.Kirk, but personally I feel like he is very manipulative seeing as she is the only one to constantly break her walls, and he is still staying content in his little box, hurting her by never following her into that pool.

@leege4257 3 года назад

Natalie is free to make a decision as well....

@baybeetricia 3 года назад

That's what I didn't understand either. She is the one with the options. She had the plane ticket so she had an out. So, it's not just on him.

@TheGamingFilly 3 года назад

That's one thing (of many) that really irks me about her. He is so obviously, OBVIOUSLY, *OBVIOUSLY* checked out. Why would you even want to be with someone who clearly does not give two sh&ts? Is that affirming and gratifying? Is that connection? The viewers are forced to come to the conclusion that Natalie just wants to be married for the sake of being married, and to have a baby for the sake of having a baby, and she doesn't give a damn who gives that to her, but she feels like she's an old maid and like she wouldn't stand a chance if she were to "start over" with someone else, so she will die on the hill of it being Mike unless he ends it.

@clikes1 3 года назад

I really wish she would realize she deserves better. No one should have to try and convince someone to marry them. You deserve better than that. I wish she would’ve left as soon as he called off the wedding.

@Love-light-777 3 года назад

@@TheGamingFilly I agree, however, she’s not the first woman to be so desperate for marriage and children that she makes a poor choice. I’m the same age as Natalie and time is starting to run out for children. She’s been married twice before. I can understand her feeling it’s Mike or no family for her. Many women have made poor choices because they felt they were running out of time and she’s made it very clear how desperately she wants children. We can see how she has relentlessly tried to shape Mike into her ideal man instead of finding someone more compatible. She’s not the first person to do that either!

@TheGamingFilly 3 года назад

@@Love-light-777 I definitely agree. And it's sad that the "biological clock" is leading her to make a bad decision, considering the actual statistics for women over 35 who bear children. It's not nearly as difficult and as risky as societal messaging makes it out to be. I wonder how much of it is "biological clock" and how much is just social stigma against unmarried 30-somethings in Ukraine.

@krystlemac6855 3 года назад

So frustrating! I wish Natalie would just say: okay, you don’t know, that’s not good enough- I need to know by tomorrow, so let’s arrange my trip home. And then end the conversation. And if he really wants her to stay, it’s alllll on him to state his case. But no more talking to a brick wall pleaseeeeee. (And also yes, sad for Mike. Hope he grows from this.)

@m_piper 3 года назад

If you have to convince someone to marry you....they don't really want to marry you. I don't know why Natalie is fighting so hard to be in such a lonely relationship. Mike needs to work on himself before getting in any relationship.

@alib2878 3 года назад

And mike has been giving those empty statements since the beginning of the season, very frustrating!

@coconutpandanlatte 3 года назад

Mike likes the company of someone. At this point, it shows that it doesn't even matter if it's Natalie's company or someone else, he just doesn't want to be alone filled with the void of his home by himself. What he is doing to Natalie is so wrong, and it's infuriating but Natalie is so desperate to get married that she'll be on her best behaviour to try not to dissuade him from saying no to marrying her. By doing so, she's enabling him to act this way showing him that it's okay for him to constantly be in a state of confusion and never having a solid answer. I feel bad for the both of them, but my heart goes out to Natalie more because she can choose to walk away and find someone who will treat her better, but instead, she wants to stay and be hurt over and over again.

@gabbyb9418 3 года назад

I wouldn't say the very last sentence is fair, but I agree with everything else. No one WANTS to feel bad like this. My ex dragged me along for 8 yrs, its not like I enjoyed it. I didn't think anyone else would love me because of trauma, so I convinced myself it was ok and normal. Theres obviously defenses and stuff going on with her too.

@lucylohan8894 3 года назад

I appreciate you opening up Dr. Honda. It was refreshing seeing you live by example of examining what you were feeling in that moment watching Mike.

@RosaLinda-yj3pz 3 года назад

I can’t believe him with less than 24 hours left in her visa he’s still thinking about it! How cruel and selfish! She should’ve never turned back and slept at the airport

@eriskalli 3 года назад

It's like he isn't listening. He can't have the "shack up and date" option, but he's demanding it by seemimg indecisive about a fairly clear cut legal issue regardless if it makes that option not accessible. That to me is the most frustrating part for me to watch. He just doesn't seem to give a shit if she gets in trouble.

@juliamuffinmonster1838 3 года назад

As a heterosexual woman, 99% of (cis) men I've interacted with are Mikes when it comes to discussing their feelings, and sometimes even discussing what they want for dinner. I'm not entirely sure his trauma is any deeper than "being a cis man in today's society".

@princesstelevision67 3 года назад

This.

@everythingiseverything9920 3 года назад

(1 year later) Baby is born : Wah wah wah! Doctor : congratulations, it's a boy! Do we have a name? Mike : Hm. Well. I dunno. There's a lot we gotta work on. (5 years later) Real estate guy : This perfect house is right in your budget and ready to be yours! Just gotta sign here! Natalie : Oh finally, Mike! Zis is vonderful! Mike : Everything is rushed, you know what I mean? (60 years later) Unconscious Natalie : 😖 *beep* ... H ... *beep* ... E ... *beep* ... L ... *beep* ... P ... Doctor : Oh god, this guy again! Look, sir, she's been holding on for 21 years! No shade, it's time to unplug her! We just need your consent, please, man! Come on! Mike : And then it's magically gonna be poof?! I don't know, like, I believe in aliens. You know what I mean? I don't know what I mean. Mike makes me want to chose violence.

@thedudeabides5695 3 года назад

Spot On! What's weird is that Mike's mom was such a straight shooter. Said what she thought, but was never rude or mean. He sure doesn't take after her. Dying to know what his Dad was like....

@ChocolatKate 3 года назад

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@doctoramy1593 3 года назад

i never want to have to convince someone to marry me. i never want to be involved with such a passive aggressive guy. i have knots in my stomach thinking about him. i could never do couples therapy and esp. not with these two personalities. i believe he was relieved that she came bk to the house bec being alone for a few hours was uncomfortable. (spoiler) we all know that they do end up getting married and are no longer together. wonder if that makes him responsible for her as her sponsor for the next ten yrs. i wonder if they deport ppl under these circumstances

@musingwanderer2765 3 года назад

I really hate mike.. he’s so gross 🤮 he thinks shrugging his shoulder and just zone out things will be fine. He knows he’s an Asshole and he doesn’t care . Why should Natalie beg and be vulnerable at this point? She’s already vulnerable and patient at many points. Angry with Natalie , she should just leave and don’t turn back at this point. It’s already so humiliating, what’s the point pushing a wall that won’t budge??

@AngelDolly23 3 года назад

I can relate to Mike. Due to my Dysfunctional family dynamics, I ended up disconnected with my inner self/ emotions. I tends to know what other people are feeling and what other people wants. But I'm clueless at times about what my wants and needs. It's not that Mike don't care. I can see him going thru a lot of thoughts in his head but self-cernsored himself and decided his thoughts will not add anything / will not make Natalie immediately happy. Thus, shutting down.

@4us2grow 3 года назад

She's out of his league.. and it shows in so many ways.. it's not just physical. She's better at communicating than he is.. in _his_ language. She's not a native speaker.

@mrsmendy3845 3 года назад

They are suppose to share a life together, but he doesn't want to share even his thoughts. OMG girl GO.

@angelkaterose 3 года назад

Kirk's self-inquiry about his own response to Mike was exactly how I feel.

@ANIAKARINA1000 3 года назад

I hope Mike will never work in an immigration office, imagine u go for a document or to ask for a procedure and his answer will be.. I do not know.. and with that straight face that he could not care less if u are deported or not..

@bricksfeathers5423 3 года назад

Dr. Honda says Mike needs for Natalie to make the first move. However, in my point of view, the fact that Natalie is still there asking him what he wants IS her making the first move. She is always the one asking him what he wants. If she was truly no longer interested, she would have gotten on a plane and gone home a long time ago.

@yuukimasamura5143 3 года назад

Mike is the type of dude who takes 25 minutes choosing what burger to order on the McDonald’s menu

@optionhotdogmeowkshake4090 3 года назад

Ugh exactly. She's being so patient I would be so blunt by now.

@abraham39 3 года назад

i think that natalie should just cut her losses and not get married because if he is still processing on a very important decision like this that he had time to think about, then this will be the pattern of how things go for the next 30 or 40 years

@MoonWomanStudios 3 года назад

I can really relate to both sides here, wanting your partner to just talk and also fearing arguments against everything I say so I keep quiet.

@erikaaguilar8259 3 года назад

Soooooo frustrating!!!😖 compared to me, Natalie has the patience of a godess...

@lokihorany 3 года назад

Yes on all things mike related but what is up with Natalie? What's going on with her psychologically that she'd be ok with marrying a man like this!?! How's this an acceptable partner for anyone?

@iheartfancypants 3 года назад

Yes both are walling up but the reason why I find Mike so infuriating in this moment and less so with Natalie is because Natalie is the one who has more of a right to NOT be vulnerable here. He called off the wedding she was 100% in. And now he expects her to be even more vulnerable towards him to make him “feel better”? F this guy.

@savannahhhh777 3 года назад

could you please watch & speak on James Charles latest apology video?? i know that is a little different of content but it’s a very important topic that needs reach & education!! i feel he should donate profits from video to internet safety organizations or education or anything!!! idk would love for you to cover this & speak ok resources :)

@krystalroney 3 года назад

I really don't understand why people really argue with me about Mike and his behaviour lol. Like you can have valid feelings but that doesn't give you a pass to react like this smh.

@jsprocket4559 3 года назад

I think Mike is done with the relationship, but feels guilty and pressured by TLC to marry her so she doesn’t get deported. It’s ridiculous that they get married just so she can stay in the country when it’s obvious that they are not a genuine couple.

@MissFlavvyBB 3 года назад

They are so toxic for each other 😩 it’s awful! They need to just go their separate ways and find partners who actually bring them joy

@winno8744 3 года назад

Aye, yai yai! His emotional responses are painful to watch- it's like pulling teeth or trying to squeeze blood out of a stone.

@baybeetricia 3 года назад

Maybe it's just me but I feel like this whole thing is forced. I get her wanting to get married and leaving if they do not (cause I would do that too) but she not only had an "out" in this volatile situation but it was not used since missed the flight. So, really, there is no other option. They HAVE to get married now. If we look back at the way Mike handles situations, from this show, I feel that he feels pressured in this situation cause he don't want her to leave, he wants them to work on things, but she can't stay so he has to marry her to give them time. That's not grounds for a stable foundation... So they definitely won't last very long after

@IzzysTravelDiaries 3 года назад

If he wants to give them time, he should just marry her. He's acting like they can just live like they have before and not get married.

@baybeetricia 3 года назад

@@IzzysTravelDiaries I won't spoil it for you, cause I'm not sure if you actually watch the show or just follow Dr. Honda's videos (so I won't assume) but I know where they are currently to this day. I said what I said (especially the last two lines) for a reason....

@IzzysTravelDiaries 3 года назад

@@baybeetricia I watch the Celeb Talk Guy

@baybeetricia 3 года назад

@@IzzysTravelDiaries okay. Since you watch him then you already know that he did exactly what you said he should do. Only for it ends up exactly how I said it would end up.

@IzzysTravelDiaries 3 года назад

@@baybeetricia His stalling is still frustrating. I know the feeling of begging someone just to decide something and it's infuriating. In the end, he probably shouldn't have let her come. He was already out the door, but because he can't make serious decisions, he just let things fizzle out. She did say he kept poking her about things, which were cut out. The show is generally biased towards the Americans. Sure, there are shitty foreigners too, but there are a bunch of situations when they obviously make the American more sympathetic.

@Babesinthewood97 3 года назад

Saying you don't know in that situation, indirectly means no. He doesn't deserve her. He's too stupid

@Laura-sn7mh 3 года назад

Tarik was out here decorating for the whole wedding. Doing it all for his love. Just shows you when a man is ready. He comes through. Mike needs to just work on him ans be alone

@JenFuller08 3 года назад

What a horrible man. At least he should take responsibility for his decision, even if it ends up hurting Natalie. This alternative of wishy-washiness is so much worse!

@elenap.3787 3 года назад

His position though, laying like this in the bed. Pure indifference.

@Delilah2112 3 года назад

This scene is ridiculous I struggle suspending my disbelief and accepting this isn't staged. If they are not gonna get married tomorrow she needs to buy a new plane ticket today, what is she really waiting for? Besides, how much money does Michael have? He already got her a plane ticket and a hotel room which went unused. Now if they don't marry he needs to buy her a new flight because according to them she does have a credit card...

@gideonbrown2366 3 года назад

are you saying a scripted show might be staged

@daniellei.9821 3 года назад

First! 😊

@tiffanymayer782 3 года назад

I watch Dr. Honda’s videos a lot, but after a really bad morning, hearing him say his usual sign-off to take care made me tear up. 🥺

@KShugyo 3 года назад

Hey Dr Honda, this is very Skinnerian. How do you not see this? He is using intermittent/variable reinforcement on her. Hello. -- He may have had significant trauma in the past but that's not license to treat her that way. Stop giving him a pass on this! "I don't know" is a child's response

@kmonkey8874 3 года назад

why couldn't mike drive to the hotel and let her in the room?!

@pinsandneedles3 3 года назад

*Ugh* indeed

@Janopooh 3 года назад

He is trying to give her a nervous breakdown. He just lays there and agrees with her knowing time is ticking.

@asunnywebb 3 года назад

With all due respect, Mike, you don't have time to process anything. Mike is too scared to break up. He is hoping she'll do the heavy lifting and just leave so he's not given a choice. That's aggressive passive.