"A Crap Guide to D&D [5th Edition] - Dungeon Master" | Kip Reacts to JoCat 

Fun Fact Kip: EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER was another dnd youtuber. The Crab was Critcrab, who tells dnd horror stories, the guy with the menagerie was Logan from Runesmith, who does humorous summaries of parts of dnd, the bard that tried to _bard_ the villain was Camicat who sings good music about dnd and other things, The Spectator that asked if he could be a Terrasque was Jess from Jessjackdaw, who does cool pokemon-dnd monster fusions. They're all worth your time to at least peruse.

What I've learned so far: Context is *everything* DM is God Fear the "don't worry about it" rolls. _Do not the gelatinous cube._

Ah yes the dungeon master. The gang asked how do we get out of X scenario and get back home? The dungeon master proceeds to give them a question, gives a cryptic answer, shrugs his shoulders, then disappears, classic

"Are you sure you wanna do that... go for it." Is pretty scary too.

Requires a sign " All actions and inactions can and WILL have DIRE consequences."

But Kip, i want a Blink Dog.

Chat touches the gelatinous cube and fails a wisdom throw, taking 3d6 psychic damage for it is not a gelatinous cube but a gelatinous cuublex. Additionally chat can no longer remember where they are in this dungeon *proceeds to remove the dungeon map from the table*. Suprise oblexes are mean.

Dungeon Master aka the phrase “I’m surrounded by idiots” as a pastime. Also my takeaway from his session, limit your party size.

I'm so scared... what was chat asking about the gelatinous cube ? Second, would it be possible to have chat in the opposite corner to you ? I REALLY want to see what heresy is being said

As a DM myself I'm of the belief that everyone at the table needs to be having fun, yes the DM should be giving the players a game they want, but the players also need to go with the DM every now and then. If the DM (me) feels that the players are going out of their way to ignore the plot hook or trying to outmaneuver the DM or throw the DM off at every turn it will burn the DM out and either the DM (me) will start lashing out in game, like throwing a random boss that is immune to the the monk's almost base 80 movement, or the paladin's smite, or the fighter's multi attack. Or the DM (me) gets burned out and just doesn't put in as much effort. If I make three plot hooks and go into detail about them when they ask about quests, and ignore everything I told them just to go off to a deli to force the owner and a bread shop into making a sandwich shop. Sure. But when it's. Every. Single. Time. "Hey DM what are some local quests?" "Oh there's an old lady looking for her daughter, the merchants guild is looking for adventurers to guard the carts as they go into dangerous territory in-between settlement all by the wilderness boarder, and there is a noble looking for adventurers to go explore his ancestors mansion that's overrun with monster" "oh there's royalty? So there must be peasants, if there are peasants there must be tax collectors, lets go see if the tax collectors need 'protection''. A DM can only handle so many of these events before they get burned out, even talking to players doesn't change their play styles immediately. After talking with them it's natural that they would follow along the quest hooks, but they will almost always return to that "F U I do what I want" style. "With that the demon crumbles away, revealing a locked tome and a larges red gem with whisps of green inside" "lets sell the gem to a keeper and the tome to a collector" and i cant help but feel like its all the work is coming undone, but i should give them a break crom following the quest hooks.

But I want to keep all of the little cutie kobolds.... They are just so cute!!

So, I've DM'd a few times, usually make a world from scratch then throw a few hapless players in a level 1. So, first mission? Kill those big rats infesting the farmer's field. One of the rats crits, leaves the bard 1 point from *true death,* wizard cleans up the other two, leaves murder rat alive at 1 hp, rat runs away, makes the roll, and escapes. Then, I make the worst mistake: we get to town, and I mention off-hand that they can't see any rodents. For the next TEN SESSIONS, they obsess, checking every night, posting a guard, keeping a paranoid eye out, worried that *Old One Eye* is gonna come back and re-tear out the bard's throat. So, I decide that if they Old One Eye, they'll get Old One Eye. So, after meeting Balabus Banney the level twenty gnome wizard who spends his days running a monster circus, they end up tracking down a tribe of particularly sapient gnolls for the wizard's newest circus act. And when they get into the tribe, brought before the chieftain, they find a tribe of mixed mammals and rodents, all led by a one eyed Rat Gnoll. Old One Eye, while running away, vowed revenge, but knowing he was too weak as he was, went searching for more power, eventually forming a tribe of other rodents before contacting Yeenoghu, the dark God who made the Gnoll curse, and striking a deal. So, a long, drawn out fight between four level 3 characters and a level 5 warrior rat gnoll, the circus got a new act, the bard got piece of mind and more gold to retrofit his tavern, and I got ANOTHER plot bunny to sort out when the wizard who wanted to start a brewing company gained an obsession with Balabus's pet water spirit.....yep, that's some dnd right there.

I'm a DM and I love my players shenanigans, and yes I gave them a pet Displacer Beast

My first game, in the first couple minutes, my players: Got toilet paper stuck to their foot in introduction. Almost got arrested for sneaking off inside the mayor’s house and scaring his wife and young daughter. Deciding to shoot an arrow at the very important NPC who I’d not thought of a replacement for who was needed to start them on the main quest. He almost died.

your example of a terrifying D&D experience is right up there with having the DM occasionally rolling dice for no apparent reason and give a player a thoughtful look. :)

Cami-Cat has a full version of her song to seduce Evillus Maximus on her channel, I keep going back to it for good feels.

Ah improv reminds me when my party had recently left their home village and I intended for them to head back for a quick 'detour' after a quest in the area (which would be attacked by an Ancient Red Dragon & its Goblinoid slave army thus introducing the big bad and her lieutenants) and instead they wandered off after ‘suspicious' tracks (aka Druid rolled a nat 1) in the complete opposite direction

In my own words, you can say that the DM is the god of control, even if they express a path they want the group to take. More importantly than seeing the players be on track, the DM is the “catalyst” of whatever given fictional world is currently being portrayed. More than the board, the dice, the figures, and the character sheets, the DM themselves is the portal to the world. A guide, of sorts. The DM a should always be respected, but never revered. … if I am understanding everything right

Me as the DM: you make your way into a dungeon that’s miles deep, where the evil sorcerer resides. One of the players: oh great, are going to come across a chasm we have jump? Me: Starts writing something down The player: 😦

6:28 i can think of something scarier (though basically the same).To paraphrase a post i read some time ago: At random times say "hold that thought", then roll a die behind your screen (if you have one). Raise your eyebrows in surprise, then look back at your players and say "sorry about that. Carry on"

I put on acid-resistant gloves, shove my hand in the Gelatinous Cube and cast Thunderwave at 5th level. Cube makes a Con save, on fail explodes and covers the room in jelly.

That gelatinous cube is probably going to be given a gun at some point.

Ah yes. The infinity war of dnd youtubing.

Now hypothetically if i were to capture and carve off pieces of a gelatinous cube to use as sling ammunition, what type and dice damage would it be

Breaking oaths and going against alignment doesn't carry penalties in 5th edition. Alignment plays a significantly reduced role in 5e. The only time it comes up, honestly, is with restrictions on what items you can attune to, anda handful of abilities. Even spells like Protection from Good and Evil don't have anything to do with... Good and Evil. It protect against specific extraplanar creature types (Abberations, fey, fiends, demons, and celestials), but not explicitly from creatures who are aligned in specific ways. 5e made a point to simplify many of the systems to make it accessible to new players. And one of the things that got gutted, for good reason, was alignment. I've seen more people argue against alignment than I have for it. Most players, more or less, see alignment now as more of a guideline than a requirement. You know... because characters, like people, can be multi-faceted. Also, there's viable evil Paladin sub-classes now (Vengeance, Conquest, and Oathbreaker). That being said, it's not like there aren't potential consequences to your actions (depending on DM). Obviously, breaking a Paladin oath will still turn you into an Oathbreaker if you didn't choose to start that way already. If a DM is really mean, or doesn't want to use the Oathbreaker rule, you could lose your Paladin priveleges altogether and be forced to undergo penance to recieve them again. Same thing goes for Clerics. A cleric who offends their own god may find themselves incapable using their abilities until they appease their god again. However, that's really where the drawbacks end. You don't lose levels like you did in old editions. Warlocks, on the other hand, should they refuse to abide by their patron's whims, may find themselves dead or hunted by other minions of their patron, BUT they don't lose their powers. They won't gain more Warlock levels, but they won't lose their current ones either.

We should get him to watch dungeondads monster of the week series

My first character had a Kobold "pet" because the world we had was *wild*. Like... my character was just a dragon and somehow power-scaling wise it worked. She had Kobold worshippers because that's just how dragons work. The kobold wound up running a small tavern out of our covered wagon.

Can we hire the kobold tho kip? He quite liked my paladin's cool dragon tooth warhammer from his dead former dragon mentor bc he's a champion of bahamut. (My current dnd paladin character)

I love Matt Mercer still had his pool noodles from an earlier episode.

"NOBODY CARES MATT MERCER!" has become a common phrase of mine because of Jocat's video

As a DM, you don't control the world; you guide it.

My players in my current campaign decided they'd try and verbally fight the hidden ancient mercury dragon that was trying to be their local friendly merchant (Think the types of merchants in like resident evil 4 and village) that just pops up at random

My big surprise about the video was how many people they ended up including. The dnd RU-vid community apparently pretty much all know each other.

In 3.5 you could have a cube as a mount.

Even my current campaign which is the one that is the most prepared campaign I've done to date is still 98% improve. All I prepared was how many realms exist, how many gods exist, how many countries there are and the leaders of said countries. Also a legend about how many dragons exist

6:40 the DM out of the blue asking you to roll is scary, but nothing will fill you with self doubt quite like the DM looking up from behind his screen after you proudly announce your intended actions only for the DM's eyebrows to knit as he asks, "Are you sure?" Well, now that you put it like that, no, I'm not sure.

On another note “ don’t eat the gelatinous cube” needs to be on a shirt

The Unexpectables is what actually got me into D&D! Borky, Greckles, Panic, Task, Monty! And or course the great chef with a bass for a head Tai Borpington!

I served a 2 year church ⛪ mission in Idaho 🥔

Dnd is awesome! You should try it. And yes I watched the cartoon, I even have it on dvd.

A DnD campaign behind the Denny’s dumpster

The synced "What?" sent me.

I felt that swing from jo cat at the USA education system

Zito is half the reason I adore kobolds.

Kipchat, are you OK? Something - maybe Kip - is telling me you are not, in fact, OK.

Yeah, I've been playing d&d for about 3 years now and after my friend from highschool told some interested band folk of the college about me, I was elected the dm of the the group. Going from player to dm is stressing but I think I'm slowly getting into how to do the 'everyone else in the world' thing.

We might not be able to have a pet displacer beast, but I had a friend who ran a campaign that was meant to be broken and was a Cheshire displacer-kin hybrid. Who was an artificer swash. Needless to say, this character and all similar are F×××ING BANNED

All the characters on the table have lore to them

Most memorable DnD moment: floating island world with a persistant cloud layer below that none return from. Flying ships as primary transport. Playing Str Int lvl 1 Swordmage. Attacked by pirates in transit, attenpt athletics to jump ovet to other ship. Nat 1. Dm:."roll me another flat d20." Nat 1. "You gorgot to tie the rope around your waist that would normally save you from going over board." I use a pickaxe i have to impail into the side of the enemy wooden ship to stop ky decent. Nat 1. "You hit the bost with yhe side of the pickaxe. And are bow in freefall." Blackgard Paladin ally thorws a harpoon at me in an attemp the haul ke back up. Nat 20. I have 2 hp, am hoisted bsck up. Paladin points at me and says "Sit."

I play online, and before my last session I told my players that I was mid move to a new place and I dodnt have my monitors set up yet so I was working off a TV with no actually chair amd asked them to try and keep things simple. I then had to run one of the most complicated combat sessions Ive ever done with over a dozen enemies because that one player (we all have one) aggroed multiple floors worth of monsters. By the end of it my back hurt like hell amd I was frustrated to no end, but they clearly had fun so I bit my tongue. Sometimes it just goes that way. In fact, I think Ive only had a single session that was pretty much a one shot inside a campaign when I was missing a couple players that went 100% exactly as I'd planned.

As a DM my players left the main town the entire story took place and went to the royal capitol I turned the bbeg into the the prince anf the king into a puppet

"We don't have a Waffle House in Idaho" How do you know if there's an emergency then?

Someone should trap the new party in the inn in a manner similar to "The Royale" in st:tng where you just...cant leave. Walk out the door, and youre walking back in. Spoiler for the episode Theyd have to find out that the inn isnt real, but an illusion created by powerful beings that encountered a human (now deceased,) and designed it to replicate the location inside a novel in the humans possession. You need to find the novel, make the connection, and figure out you need to take the persona of characters in the book that were explicitly said to have left the inn.

I got this spell combo called 'war crime version 2'

Another name for the Dungeon Master is also Story Teller. It's not as common as Game Master, but it does exist. Also, you don't even need the Player Handbook. The free basic rules PDF is enough, these basic rules also are included with the D&D Essentials pack.

Listen, just because there's a shadowy figure in the middle of the tavern doesn't mean I'll go talk to them. Who does that? That's trouble, I'm just here for a drink.

Give me my kitty whippins!

funnily enough i already have a pet displacer beast

I had a pet mimmic in the last campaign I was in

Crit Crab is a good source for content

I've never run a campaign, only one of my friends has any XP with such a feat and he ran a small single shot one using a Superpowers system to try and ease our other 3 friends into the idea of TTRPGs....results...were mixed. Two of my friends clammed up and got stage fright..for one of them that's not too surprising as he's very careful with how he words things so he doesn't make people mad and he thinks everything through...he's the friend I'd LEAST like to piss off as I'm 98.9999% sure he'd pull a Wookie on me and beat me to death with my own arms after ripping them off if I did. His brother on the other hand was a slow starter but once he got into it he REALLY got into it. I'd like to try again even if it'd only be 4 of us due to one friend's working hours but I'M the one who's gonna have to be the GM...I'm scared to death to do it too since the friend who does know how to GM has also played a butt ton of TTRPG thanks to his time at an art institute where a lot of people with far more imagination than me ran campaigns. One day I'll have to bite the bullet and do it...cause I'd really like to get my other friends into TTRPGs.

But kip i want the kitty sure it might destroy half the castle but cmon it’s snuggy

No no, let them the gelatinous cube. They will soon realize their actions have deep consequences

what about a Displacer kitten? The group I DM for's Kolbold's Name was Skrunk

Okay but do you know how hard it is to hold myself back in most of my games when it comes to monsters? Legitimately my favorite game was Monster Of The Week because the dm let my character pull quite a lot of random monster and mythology trivia out of my ass. Such as enraging a Naiad with the symbol of Zuse and then using a modified Djinn Seal to trap one in a bucket (I had brought a symbol of Apollo as a backup and my character literally runs a shop of magic shit that he is bound to) I keep accidentally making reference to so many mythological versions of monsters that i feel like I will legitimately get in trouble sometimes

As a DM you are no god, you are a prophet.

The only way chat will learn is to introduce them to the world of pain. If the lick the large mound of jello, it will eat them whole.

May I summon the gelatinous cube above the evil sorcerer?

Always a GM by choice.

2:42 the fks he talking about ... we dont apply or memorize it 😂

Problem is that 5th ed is super weenie hut Jr's.

ABSERD

How about Chilies D&D?

Am i only one who saw the Giraffe girl from my gym partner a Monkey

But can I form a pact with a gelatinous cube as my patron?

Hey if I can't have the displacer beast can I have the beeg Angy worg!

The song the firbolg bard sung is a rel song the whole song is about a bard wanting flirt she made a full song

Hey Kip.....why not do run a ttrpgs yourself??? Edit Sure,scheduling conflicts..... 😞😞😞

Fizban🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Speaking from experience, good choice with Waffle House. That place is fantastic for worldbuilding, especially at 3am

Whats a g m

As someone from the place Waffle House originated, Waffle House is sadly not a conducive environment to a dnd experience

I know its all for comedic reasons but i honestly dont like how disconnected the aesop of this video is with the actual content of it. Your players cheating, reading ahead the campaign outloud, narrating and deciding outcomes of rolls for you, and straight up suicidally turn their back on the BBEG to try scamming the onlookers, that is not a "well DM maybe dont be so awful" situation, the DM is also here to have fun, they deserve respect and engagement to a logical extent. Its still all funny, Jocat always is, just my own little rock on the shoe when watching it.

Waffle House D&D? I’m in

I hope this isn't a problem, but I respectfully request the ability to use you're Dick Wizard and insert them into my campaigns for my own players to experience?

You know, I think I missed something but when did Kip become a demon? As much as I like his content, I've never understood the appeal of dressing up as an entity that is considered blatantly evil in all cultures they appear in. Just seems like bad taste.