Abandonment Issues: Signs, Causes & How to Overcome 

Do you fear abandonment?

Not wanting someone you love to leave is normal, but when you will do everything, even damage your own health, to stick around horrible people just because you don't want to be alone, then that's the real problem.

always wanting to please others (being a “people pleaser”) giving too much in relationships. an inability to trust others. pushing others away to avoid rejection. feeling insecure in romantic partnerships and friendships. codependency.

The one thing I fear most in life is loneliness and emptiness. Its like going through life, except you're already dead.

I may have abandonment issues, I'm always scared that everyone one day will get sick of me and just leave me, including my parents. That is why i don't trust or rely on anyone, because of this exact reason.

Solving abandonment issues is one of the most difficult things anyone can do. I believe that one of the best ways to do this is to find a purpose for living. If you develop a life purpose then you will be more ok with being alone. When something happens to you, or if someone leaves you, if you have your purpose for life then you will be ok. Stay strong folks ❤️

The thing I found about abandonment, is that feeling of abandonment never really goes away no matter what happens in life whether it's good or bad . Always looking for someone or something to fill that void but always still feeling there's something missing

Fear of Abandonment isn't always caused by a parent or a family member sometimes it's caused by "friends" in people outside your family😕

how convenient, my mother is getting back together with my abusive step father and leaving me behind. this video outta make me feel better ☺️🍿

I can’t afford therapy but this is becoming such an issue for me. I hate being alone and I’ll do anything I can to stop people leaving even when they aren’t good for me.

That “Is there something wrong with me”? really resonates with me...

Hello to all the people who are currently going through abandonment issues! I hope you'll get better, i know it's hard right now, and it hurts alot, but i believe you can do it! I wish you luck on your journey to healing, i know it will take awhile, but i know that it will be worth it, just hold on tight, we'll get through this together. :)❤

when i was 3 i remember crying every night when my parents left me with my grand parents for a whole year. i remember the feeling of unfamiliarity and extreme fear that they may not come back for me. growing up, i understood that they did that to make a living, but up until today, i still feel the same fear everytime someone leaves

To all Borderline and/or Avoidant people like me, you're so beautiful and I wish you get better. ❤

upload date: valentine’s day video: abandonment issues

I think these issues can be worse if you have a sibling and both have issues and closely look at the balance of attention given

My parents were always suddenly cold or warm and pretty narcissistic. Treatment given was based on my grades where they neglect and go cold towards me when i had bad grades, and showing off to their peers when i had good grades. I got cheated on 4 times in my first relationship which was toxic. Everytime when i think of relationships, i get so anxious and want to withdraw and hide. I'm so scared that people will abandon me over small issues like not pleasing them... I know it's wrong but I'm always anxious and stressed out over it. So much that i can't show my true self

About a month ago, my girlfriend started being insecure and emotionally distant... Now, about a month later, she confirmed that she's afraid of being hurt if someone leaves her, and she got emotionally distant from me because she's afraid I'll leave her too... I wish I could help her, and to change things...

As a foster child that experienced neglect and abuse, it is almost comforting to get confirmation that I have abandonment issue. Everything that was said was true. This channel means so much to me. I am currently unable to afford a therapist but I realize a lot about myself with your videos that help me better my relationships with friends family and myself. Thank you so much. P.S. does anyone else get sad when they see the little leaf character bruised and beat up 😅?

😭💔 I hate that this is my main issue... I hate the loneliness, the emptiness, the depression, the fear, the anger, the mistrust, the too much trust, the wrong people, the everything...

If you were or are abandoned just know that they were not supposed to be in your life.They couldn’t take care of you no matter the situation.Love yourself and get the help you need .

Fear of abandonment is a big one for me. My ex-boyfriend used to leave unexpectedly when he was upset, and that really bothered me. Thanks for your channel, it's helped inspire me for my animation channel as well!

Happy Valentine’s day to EVERYONE this year!

1st best friend : lied to me and blackmailed me 2nd friend : relationship means more than a friendship 3rd best friend : they simply got bored of me and leaved me behind w their new best friend Me now : feels numb and empty deep inside, distancing and fears of commitment 🙂 (I talk w my sister about this a lot and it helps me and im trying to get over that feeling but its not so easy tho .Distancing became more like reflexive thing i do)

Long story short : go see a therapist

As a kid, I've always had this fear that people close to me will leave me. Looking back, I couldn't understand why I had that fear. Seeing this video makes me understand that fear more.

Foster care definitely can cause abandonment issues.

It's Valentines Day and this is posted.... Well it's always safe to be prepared

Left home alone many times five days a week since the age of four, sibling abuse, and other abuse, bullying from classmates and some teachers, sent to counseling and repeatedly told all of it was MY fault (nice counselors) so I have no trust in them either, so I'm all on my own trying to deal with all this,

I still deal with the aftermath 8 years later.

Leaving would imply suitcases and empty drawers, and late birthday cards with ten-dollar bills stuffed inside. What a torture right?

Last night I commented on my problems with abandonment issues- *I feel blessed*

Every video that comes out I'm excited for but then I'm like "I'm not ready to deal with those issues yet 😅"

I'm 19 and I got strong abandonment issues. Since my brother was born when I was 8, my dad was never there for me. It's like I wasn't his child anymore or that I was a failure. He was never violent or disrespectful in any way to my brother, but has always been to me. Every time I come in contact with him I feel like a slave because I'm not allowed to do common things everyone would do without angering him in his presence. I think that's the reason why I will probably never be able to make friends in my life.

trying to work through my abandonment and isolation issues for my own sake, I’ve developed a habit of disappearing/ghosting whenever I feel I’ve been mistreated and have developed some pretty bleak beliefs about humanity and human relationships as a result of traumas I’ve experienced 💆🏿‍♀️

Thank you for mentioning some of the more avoidant and neglected side of abandonment issues. I didn’t know I had abandonment issues for so long because I didn’t possess the traits such as getting easily attached or being codependent on others. And didn’t know that a fear of relationships and intimacy can also be a sign of abandonment issues as well. I‘ve actually been hurt by people who relied on me for there own happiness, and completely lost myself because I was desperate to be a “good friend”. Good friends get both of their needs met, not just one person completely sacrificing themselves for the other

What do you call it when every time you manage to form a secure attachment, you decide you’re lying to yourself and being clingy?

Abandonment huh... I've been abandoned by all the friends I had. Or the other way around

If you're convinced a relationship is going to end, go to couple's counseling. It's the quickest way to guarantee the inevitable.

Even tho I was already diagnosed with abandonment fear and still meeting up with therapist, for whatever reason I started crying watching this video

I remember watching a movie that had abandonment in it, It triggered me so much bc i thought that was also how my family would leave me too. I cried so hard for one hour, my eyes started hurting. My sister then came to reassure me but I just couldn't brush it off

If you are reading this I just want to let u know that you are beautiful inside and out and much more loved then u realize! Just know that you have sm to offer, and always reach for the stars!! Don’t let depression or anxiety hold u back, accomplish ur goals! If u fail just get back up again! Stay safe and have a happy Valentine’s Day!❤️❤️☺️ :D

I did but I learned that it is not my fault that people leave some will and some will stay

I really needed this. I am being replaced again. Yesterday was my Birthday. I do not like my gift.

What is it called when you feel as though you're always going to be alone, like no matter what you've just accepted that no one will ever love your or stand by you forever, that the only person you have is yourself? Is that still abandonment issues?

My father died when I was 6, I was abandoned by my mother after one year, she got secondly married. Been sexually abused by my uncle...After all these things my family still can't figure out why I'm not functioning as a normal human being at the age of 20. I notice some narcissistic behaviours in me, always wanting other people to prove their loyalty and i'm being competitive with anyone. i'm extremely jealous over my friends and romantic interests, because of that I feel like a terrible person so I try to distance myself from everyone. Whenever I speak up for myself I feel guilty.Only If I had someone to push me to become better...we were dealing with poverty and other family problems for years and nobody had time for my mental health issues. Idk if I ever find peace but my head is messy, I just want to be happy one day.

Mine came from my parent’s divorce and my mother’s mental health issues frequently leaving her emotionally and often physically unavailable. Thank you for explaining what I suspected, but never knew what to do. All of my relationships have been codependent my entire life. Now I know there’s help. It’s like spotting a ray of sunshine in the middle of a storm. You gave me hope. Thank you.

these little people always tug at my heart strings 😭

Me exactly, ive known ive had this fear for a while, but instead its caused by an abusive “best friend”when i was younger

I am Secure attachment leaning anxious and it took a lot of work as core wounds and subconscious beliefs and triggers are hard to fix. Thanks for this video.

and plus childhood neglect and multiple rejections it's hard to feel yourself ever worthy of love, hard to sleep at night too

Being vulnerable is the new strong!

This is really helpful since I have abandonment issues. My father abandoned me when I was 3, and that effected my mental health majorly. And last year, a close friend abandoned me and made it even worse

Yes, I had to address this fear once and for all last year. It amplified when a loved one died last year.

for the past year i’ve had really bad abandonment issues and worries relating to these kind of stuff and making it hard for me to do easy things and focus. it’s rlly tough. you all are rlly strong and i promise you’ll feel better ily

I have noticed these behaviors in myself when I look back on how I acted in my last relationship. Talking to my counselor about this topic was the best thing I ever did for myself and I am still learning how to deal with some of these triggers. Thank you for this video.

My father had NPD and my sister was the golden child. I was both abused (emotionally/physically) and neglected by him. I also didn’t really grow up in an over nurturing household. If I complained or was injured I was told “other people had it worse” and when my father paid attention to me he’d always switch of angry to kind immediately after he made me cry. I remember it well he’d always tell me he was going to send me away or put me in a foster home. So I got the childhood trauma. I also experienced friends leaving me in my teens where I was expediting worse abuse and bullying. So no wonder I’m screwed up

This is so me! Sometimes I am afraid to watch your videos because there are many topics you guys touch in which I can find myself. In the end the videos are helpful each time. So I know my feelings and "issues" are valid. When I was a teen there was so much more stigma on mental health problems and in my early 20s I found the strength to start therapy on my own. The awareness on mental health being raised through social media is a good thing. You're helping a lot of people through your videos either suffering from mental health problems or disorders and those who know people with these problems to understand them better.

This gave me a lot of peace. I recognize some unhealthy patterns in my past that stem from childhood experiences and I feel like I can better approach relationships in the future.

When you click the video before receiving the notif

Me, who has lost lots of people in my past to death or because of other issues that they don't like me anymore and me having put on so many masks to make them stay and even beg them sometimes: this seems accurate

When i start school, i take the bus to school and home! My mum is always outside with my younger sister, but i have abandonment issues and is afraid of her not being there. It doesnt matter where my mum is, shes my comfort person, and i go into a full blown panic when shes not near me. Im watching videos to try and help me :)

I will never understand how is possible that psyc2go releases the exact videos exactly when I need, going through a heartbreak atm and these videos are helping, thank you

I hit so many of these it's kinda scary I always fear that I'm emotionally stunted because I have a hard time letting someone close to my heart and I'm always afraid that I'll end up alone and miserable or losing all my sanity but It's not like there is anyone in my life that seems like they would help me get over these issues cuz I'm surrounded by a lot of toxicity and loneliness

This is what I was diagnosed with along with ptsd and clinical depression. Every one I've ever loved or trusted has hurt and left me. Suffered alot of loss my whole life. Now I believe that I will always be left. I will never find true happiness and no matter what I do to change im just not enough

My fear of abandonment started at 4 years old. I am now 43 and I love myself enough for the first time that I won't allow someone to violate my boundaries and beg them to stay. This issue was agonizing.

Yep definitely me. My father was an addict and would come and go in my life all the time. In December he died. And now it’s like my need for closeness and security is at it’s all time high.

The fact that there’s so many videos that are reality with rlly bad mental health, and I relate to almost all of em just rlly says a lot.

You can include extreme bullying from the entire class (excluded because you're bullied, so no one befriends you), switching classes/schools because of it... And if you ever made a friend... omg...

My parents and siblings have ignored and neglected me since I was very young. Now I am a recluse introvert. I feel like I don't belong anywhere and can't seem to make any meaningful connection with anyone. I used to care but I've grown to accept it.

Why is it that every time i have a problem this channel has me covered, i love this channel!

Your voice is so soothing that it cured my abandonment issues

Technically this didn't happen in my childhood, but when I was 18 my mom passed away, and that definitely led to feelings of serious abandonment. Two months after that I left to live in Mexico for two years (I knew I was going there since June, so it wasn't a sudden thing) and being with the people there helped with that a lot. When I came back to the US I tried to fill in that hole my mom left with a girlfriend, but every time it didn't work out that only made my feelings of abandonment worse. So now I'm just going the lone wolf route and figuring out who I am and what I want before letting someone else into my life and not being as afraid of abandonment, although I doubt I'll be able to completely shed it.

this can also collide with commitment and trust issues. then there's the question - why overcome it, if it protects you? well, I guess, to stop feeling so damn lonely all the time. even if you get used to the emptiness, with time it gets worse and still hurts.

This video was really informative. I had to endure a lot of physical and verbal violence from my caregivers until I ran away from home at 15. I do find myself having the symptoms of expressing a insecure attachment style. I've learned how to love myself more and more over the years but to have haunting nightmares and intrusive thoughts regularly. Psychotherapy has been a lifesaver for me in orientating how a stable life should be.

that’s scary how much i related to this…. thank you for this. i definitely want to reach out to my therapist now

Thank you, you posted this right when I'm going through it. For the idk what time in my life but I've been abandoned a lot .-.

I really hope ppl can realize this and get the healing they need so they can know that love is a good and healthy thing to experience

Your voice is very soothing. Whenever I'm having a bad day, I keep finding myself coming to this channel just to listen to your voice. Doesn't really matter to me what the video is about just that you are the one speaking softly in my ear. So uh ... Thanks for putting your voice out there.

thanks for posting this. After treating a lot of symptoms, this really gets to the core of my issue. Luckily, everything I've learned in therapy can be applied to what I've learned here as well, and I think I'm on the right track.

Love that you added the "how to overcome" part

Oh my gosh, this is so true! Connecting with my inner child and soothing her, really helps me with my anxiety and fears. This little girl needs someone to tell her she is safe and loved.Doc Snipes has a great RU-vid video of Healing your inner child. It is really worth giving it a try. Thinking of all of you who are struggling with these issues❤

Yes abandonment issues, alcohol consumption at early teens, unwillingness to ask for help for fear of appearing weak or incapable of.

This made me literally cry 😢 You clearly described me!

Ty for making me happy i used to be sad and didn't know what to do i didn't hve a doctor cuz iam a kid but cuz of u changed my life ;)

thank you for this video again!

Wow! This video was a huge eye opener it made see that I do deal with abandonment issues and now that I will take proactive steps to manage, address, and heal with them.

I was just telling my best friend I miss her sorely, then realized that it would just make her feel worse for ignoring me. I said to myself that I love her, and if this is the woman I want beside me for the rest of my life, my old habits won't cut it. So I wished her a goodnight and stopped fearing everything because I have full faith she will return again tomorrow. For me, it was being stronger for her that allowed me to overcome this insecurity. I love you, "11".

bruv i have never clicked so fast in my life

I have an insecure attachment style (parental divorce yay!) and was recently suddenly transferred to a new department at work. I know logically this is a way to prevent layoffs but OMG this is hitting me SO HARD. It’s wild that something that my parents’ divorce 45 years ago is still affecting me.

I can finally agree that I have abandonment issue. Phew took me years to have the strength to say that. And feels good typing it here. Wow. ❤

I keep putting off seeking help from a psychologist for PTSD that affects my relationships and ability to form healthy relationships. Due to abandonment issues I keep getting into relationships with men who are abusive and feel almost addicted to wanting to find true love. I know I need to step back but it's really hard..

Explains how I break down crying even when someone not so close to me passes away..

When you relate to every single reason as to why people develop abandonment issues 🧍🏻‍♀️💧

So happy and glad to say I’ve been a loyal subscriber since 100k SO PROUD OF U GUYS!!!

This video helped me understand some behaviors that I show sometimes and some that I’ve seen from people in my life.

i’ve found myself watching these videos as basically a coping mechanism to try and convince myself i’m not alone in this my mom was always the type of parent that would flip depending on what i did, if i failed to do something simple like having good grades she would yell at me and tell me if i didn’t do good i would be stuck in the class i was in forever and that i was going to fail everyone. another thing is whenever i would tell her i felt this way she would say i was being irrational and it’ll disappear with time but then also tell me that if i ever feel upset that i should tell her. I think this is considered abusive but i’ve been so scared to tell someone in case they thought i was being irrational and then get upset with me for not telling the truth or being too scared all the time and then leaving me i’ve also found the people who i like to call my friends aren’t the best, they often joke about other people in the groups issues including mine sometimes and i feel uncomfortable about that but i’m way too scared of someone being upset with me for ruining their joke that i don’t say anything, also one of them bullies me on a daily basis saying stuff like “you should kill yourself” knowing i have depression and have thought about it, they then tell me they weren’t joking and make it seem like it’s all my fault for being clingy or annoying or telling me they hate me for something small even just getting an answer right when they had the right answer as well but i got called on but then i’m too scared that if i leave the relationship i’ll have no one else and be lonely. i can’t fall out of these fears i still think this is all most likely just an irrational fear and people will get mad at me for making this comment but i just had to get this off my chest even if it’s to a bunch of strangers and i’m sorry but i don’t trust anyone enough to say all this to without the fear they’ll change their perspective of me and leave. i said a lot i’m sorry

I just realised I have abandonment issues but instead of getting attached, I get detached with the world? Like no matter how ' close' I am to someone I feel like they are gonna get bored or leave anyway so I don't make effort at all? Or I always purposely make them feel distant so they can leave me alone sometimes (for no reason at all) or I get very scared when they try to care too much about me. I don't understand why though 🙊 does anyone else feel the same?

Finally the video I’ve been waiting for!

My psychologist really just recommended this video. Honestly, you guys came up in a conversation because I had to mention you to her.