In the 1st story, the dad said he wished the daughter had told so he wouldn’t have lost money, but the daughter didn’t know the sister’s family was coming until they saw them at the airport, after they bought the tickets so how was she supposed to tell him so he can “save the money”?
For real though why did he not warn her before she showed up if he was on her side? He was totally fine with her being taken advantage of and didn’t really say anything about the whole situation until it caused him to waste money. The fact that he gets it but still chastised her says a lot
My guess is OP lied in her favor, basically they proposed told her who all was coming and she didnt like but still agreed to go. Then last minute she bailed. No reason she would have been like “wtf are you saying” if the “surprise” part of the story was true
1st story, nobody let the 17 year old know that the sister was coming so she couldn’t have let the dad know in advance. Lastly it was a celebration for her, why is she watching kids on her celebratory vacation
Exactly! She “ ruined” the vacation that you went on “for her” by not being there? Very interesting. Also assuming that the whole family was there thats 4 adults and 2 kids, how could they not handle it?
@@colorcutie97 exactly like haven't they ever taken care of kids before? 4 grown ass adults?? And they expected a 17 yo to do so on hER """CELEBRATION"""????? Incredible how some adults are simply that much of a pain, rlly
My guess is OP is lying to make herself look better. Her dad probably said that because she DID have plenty of warning and just decided to bail last minute. Otherwise why would he say that, and why didnt she find it weird that if he did
@@call_me_mad1236or, dad was told by mom that "yes, she knows it's all of us and is okay with it" and mom told her "it's just the three of us", it makes no sense that she was told it was a vacation in her honor but she wouldn't get to do anything besides babysit her sister's kids. it defeats the purpose of the vacation, but if to dad it was "one last family vacation since you'll be going away to university" instead of a "let's celebrate that you'll be going away, but you don't get to celebrate"
The false SA story is so crazy to me because when I came out about about my cousin (Who actually SA’d me for years) there were virtually no consequences. If anything, it made me more of a black sheep in the family. My family would get mad at me when I wouldn’t go to family events because I felt unsafe around him. I wish my family had given him half the punishment this family gave their son/cousin/brother.
I'm sorry i wish she had your family and you had hers. I was so happy they believed her unlike most people. I don't understand why people would lie about that, hurting ourselvs and another person too? For what?
So sorry you went through that. I went through and continue to go through the same situation. No consequences for this persons actions, denial and will never get an apology ik. But continue establishing my boundries with the rest of my family and understand that people arent perfect. As a child i wished they all stopped talking to this person like this story, but now as an adult i dont wish that on anyone and just wish they would have at least believed what i said and confronted that person. All i wanted was accountability. Also, abusers who continue to get away with it continue to abuse other victims and by stopping contact it doesnt fix the issue. Unfortunately, my family member has found new victims to harass and my family continues to turn a blind eye. Interesting story from the other perspective, made me realize the other side of things. I hope you continue to heal in your journey
False Accusation Story: I studied survivors of childhood SA for my masters of social work. It’s undeniable that anyone who discloses information about being hurt is someone that needs help, attentiveness, responsiveness. There are so many reasons why some of that information might end up being true/false, fabricated vs. recalled, but the truth is never that this person is ok. I’m seeing lots of evidence that everyone except the person she is naming is true - I would look at her dad. This sounds like a survivor who was so desperate to disclose this but didn’t want her sister to know the perpetrator.
Victims of SA can still be bad people though. How can you watch your cousin lose his entire family and have his whole life fall apart, KNOWING YOU LIED, and just allow that to happen?? I feel bad for her if she did actually experience SA from someone but it's absolutely no excuse whatsoever for KNOWINGLY destroying an innocent person's life. She's no better than her abuser.
Exactly what I said but in more detail but i didn’t say it was E’s dad but someone in the immediate family and that OP was an easier not close escape person
@@chickennoodlesoup3301Nah they're speaking facts, although I won't fully blame her if that is the case. I definitely feel bad for her if she was legitimately SA'd, but it still isn't excusable to ruin someone's life like that. Definitely think about the victim, but think about the person whose life is going to be ruined under a false allegation as well. Just because one is significantly worse doesn't mean that the other is ok.
Here's my take on story 1: I don't think the trip was for OP. I think the mom and sister got together and decided that it would be a good idea to take the kids to Disneyland. But they didn't want to spend all their vacation watching the kids, so they played it off to OP saying it was to celebrate her/him (can't remember) and then put OP in a situation where OP wouldn't have a choice BUT to watch the kids.
If they had to lie and be sneaky about the sister and family coming. I get the feeling it's already been talked about Op not liking be a babysitter. So I'm saying 100% Nta.
It is SO funny that they have been passing off the kids onto the other kid no problem but when there are THREE ADULTS only needing to watch those kids suddenly it’s such a big deal and so difficult lmfao way to out yourself as just being bad at watching kids 😂😂
On the false accusation story, OP updated yesterday from his original account. It is as follows: Hi, It's been a while since my last post and I can't count the people asking me for an update. So I tought I'd post one, even though there's not much to say. First, I'd like to get a few things out of the way: Thanks all who wrote and offered support and advice. I'm sorry I couldn't reply to all, but know that I've read them. Also, thanks to everyone who reached out to distract me with talks about my hobbies. I know I wasn't very respsonsive, but I know you meant well. To the openly hostile ones, borderline threatening me to quit anti-depressants and counseling and instead accept into my life. No. Many people told me I should pursue legal action. I didn't mention this in my first post, but I decided against that long ago for a few reasons. Best case, she would get a slap on the wrist and I wouldn't gain much at all. I just don't think it's worth the legal headache. And if I somehow would end up losing, I'll owe her legal costs. A lot of people have been messaging me about the fake updates. As I wrote in an edit to my other post, there are some fake updates on Tiktok and RU-vid. So if you saw something on other platforms that you didn't read in the text below or in the post linked above, it wasn't by me. While I don't really care about people making fake updates, I just want everyone that read my original post that these videos are not by me. Someone even claimed they "had access" to my original post on r/relationships, which contained these "updates". That is false. With that cleared up, I'll add what actually going on with my life right now. Know that I wrote the original post in an anger and because I was completely lost on what to do. I needed a kick to the head and I got that within like the first 5-10 comments. That was really all I needed. I've met my therapist. I was first scheduled for september, but she managed to move it and we've had two talks so far. She also read the original post and many of your comments. While she would've perferred me to confide in a colleague of hers, in the end she was glad you guys told me to calm down a bit and wait. She knows first hand how I can get when angry. I wont go through everything we talked about, but it comes down to that I may respond to my parents at some point, but if I do, it wont be anytime soon. I've started writing everything down that I want said to my family and then my therapist and I will go through those things continuously. For those who asked, they haven't tried to contact me further. I WILL NOT be updating this issue anymore. Not on reddit (including DMs) or anywhere else (in case of more fake updates). Nor will I be commenting unless it's something very important. I don't want to be rude and I appriciate all the support, but it really is draining sometimes. I was almost glad when the moderators locked the comments on the first post. I'd like to end by saying thanks again to all the people who's been wishing me well and checking up on me. And for the people writing to check that I'm still alive, don't worry. You don't have to do that. I'm off work for a while and not by the computer much. I'm busy painting my garage
Wow, he has so much more grace and maturity than me. One of the OG replies to the first post mentioned how in ancient times the worst punishment was exile, not death, because death is merciful, what his family did was heinous. I wish him nothing but healing and peace.
The SA story is scary because i highly doubt E just made that all up completely out of spite, she probably genuinely was assaulted but either lied about who did it or genuinely misremembered who did it because of the trauma. She needed help but didnt know how to get it and ended up ruining her cousins life along with her own. There's also a slim chance that it really did happen and OP has blocked out what they did, and then him being so insistent they didnt do it made E question her own memory.. i find it a really dark and troubling that they admit to thinking they would actually assault their cousin out of some twisted vengeance.
Hey, I wanted to chime in on the ADHD meds as someone who has ADHD, (diagnosed 13 years ago) and I’m 23 now married to my husband who also has ADHD and our dosages are different. I also plan on specializing on ADHD in clinical practice after grad school. ADHD meds can be quite addictive depending on the medication you take. Amphétamines, being the stimulants they are, help keep the ADHD mind more in check but, if it’s an instant release (like Adderall) it’s short term. And it’s only euphoric if they are snorted or taken more than prescribed. Something like Vyvanse, on the other hand, is the first of its kind type of ADHD medication that can’t… and I truly mean CANT… be abused. Vyvanse works when the capsule dissolves and medication binds to a protein In your stomach to activate its effects. It MUST be metabolized to work. I could go on about the different meds and how they work and the research that’s out there but I’ll get back to the story. If the wife is exhibiting other symptoms of withdrawal or addiction. It would be worth talking to her about. But, if this is the only thing… I’m gonna say it’s likely not addict behavior when it comes to ADHD. The difference between taking your medication and not taking your medication is like not wearing your glasses when you legally have to be wearing them to drive. I hope that makes sense. But it truly is night and day. I’ve lost jobs due to my inability to keep my ADHD/Executive Dysfunctions in check. There’s also a shortage on ADHD medications because of the strict regulation from the gov on them. What I’m thinking is that your wife ran out of her medication due to the inability to access them prior to them running out and when she did run out, she figured it would be better for her to have her ADHD medication while working and driving and other things, and because her son is just at school, the sun could go without it for a day. Me personally, I would never be able to justify taking something away for my child. That makes their day better just so my day can be a little bit less inconvenienced. But I also get the huge struggle ADHD can impose on everyday life. Especially as an adult (see dr. Russell Barkley’s theory on the executive function age for a persons with ADHD.) Sorry about how long this is but I could go on so if you have question, please feel free to ask.
Yeah I had the thought that she was struggling with the shortage as well. Or else she simply forgot to pick heres up. I think she felt it would be fine if it was only a day or too. The Mom might actually need it more then the son.
Her going without medication could negatively affect the son and put her in danger as far as driving goes. Also it's not uncommon to forget to refill your meds considering you can't refill them before the day you are supposed to run out in a lot of cases. The son would also be met with a lot more understanding for his symptoms since it's a developmental disorder and alot of the symptoms are things kids struggle with normally except with adhd they are more frequent and more exaggerated so it can be passed off as just a harder day as a kid. The child is also not in charge of his own self care tasks so a day or two without meds would not be as detrimental to him as it would be if his care giver didn't have the meds she needs to keep up with care tasks. Although I would choose to have the son skip a day of meds on a weekend day so I was the one taking care of him and aware of him being unmedicated so I could accommodate that for him accordingly. I doubt it is addict behavior. It is a logical risk vs reward conclusion that the son would be more negatively affected if his caregiver was without her meds as opposed to the son who has more support and would probably take his mom struggling with emotion regulation personally if she has harder moments dealing with her adhd symptoms on top of being an adult and mother. Adhd isn't like a stomach ache or chronic pain where it's painful to experience symptoms regardless of the circumstances. It's only a disability because it doesn't align with what society expects from us and the struggle to make our brain do the thing. I would also believe the mom deserves grace when it comes to her not getting the refill on time instead of being called out and feeling that judgement for something her adhd very well might have gotten in the way of her being able to complete. We also don't know if she tried to go without her meds and realized that was worse and that she needed help with her symptoms to make sure she could go through all of the steps needed to get her meds because that can be very frustrating. Adhd Medication management is not very adhd friendly.
Although depending on the meds and dosage there are physical withdrawal symptoms so of course that would absolutely have to be taken into account with the son skipping a day of meds. Also they have extended release adderall although it does kick in and make me sleepy after 30 mins. 😅
I was surprised they never brought this up after looking up how ADHD has different severities for different people if her son’s doctors are happy for him to take weekends without his meds regularly he’s clearly not someone where a day without meds is going toe greatly effect their day he will be fine whereas she may be a whole other story it’s not about her “putting herself first” but prioritising needs if she can’t properly look after the kids, drive, get tasks done without medication it would be better for the whole family for the son to be the one to take the break for a day
First the OP opens with “Caught” but later says “she was taking meds as we were chatting”🤔🤨 so you didn’t “catch her” and she wasn’t hiding it, that doesn’t look like something an addict would do, and it sounds like the OP is trying to make it sound more sinister than it was.
Exactly what I thought especially when as far at the family was concerned the victim is a part of their family someone they love who they want to keep safe if it had been true this would have been the right response
I don’t really know about that, as a parent it is your job to set your children in the right direction. If you become aware of the fact that your child is assaulting people, completely banishing them really would be leaving the person with nothing but being a predator. Leaving zero chance to rehabilitate and learn from mistakes, and would result with a predator with nothing to lose.
@dylaniverson1624 I don't totally agree. But, I understand. But, your predator child can't come to family events. Or, anyone else besides you and their rehabilitation specialist. You can't walk some stuff back, and it changes your relationships and ability to be in/create relationships.
Coming from someone with ADHD regarding the meds story: idk, my first thought was just that she took the medication without really giving it much thought, especially since it was so casual. It doesn’t really feel like addict behavior at all. Like, wouldn’t she be trying to hide it if she had been sneaking her kids pills to feed an addiction? The husband said she knows that it was wrong in retrospect and she probably just feels bad. Impulsiveness is one of the major symptoms of ADHD, so if she hadn’t been thinking about the morality of the situation I can see it just being a lapse in judgement. Also, it sounds like she’s experiencing pretty bad rejection sensitivity dysphoria when confronted, which is common for those with ADHD.
Story 3: I guarantee the SA happened to E but not by OP but E needed an escape person who E hasn’t seen in so long and isnt close to the immediate family so E blamed OP not thinking about the repercussions for OP, and because after telling the story about the SA the real perpetrator told E that he knows E told people it was OP and if E ever tells anyone who the real SA’er is he( the real SA’er) would harm E. A child does not just dream something like that up, this kind of thing is common amongst children who have an SA’er whom is in close contact with the child and when the child lashes out and once come out about the SA said child is experiencing or has experienced, the child is so traumatized and terrified of the SA’er that they are I’ll blame someone who is not very close to the child in the family, that the child does not or has not seen in a long time, as an escape goat because the child is not being pressured to give a name, and did not realize the repercussions and devastating consequences OP would end up suffering when the child blurted out OP’s name, and that’s why E had to come out saying OP is innocent but not that E lied can’t say who the real SA’er is because no one will either believe E now or the real SA’er had E terrified.
@@Nonchalantlyfabulousher fault though, shouldn’t have lied to begin with. Doubt anything she says would be taken at 100% by anyone else since she lied about something SO big for SO long. It might be different if she had came clean pretty soon after she realized he’d been cut off and told them who it really was. But she waited almost a decade before letting them know “it was probably just a dream”.
False accusation story. Poor guy I wish him nothing but the most happiness and the best peace, whatever he decides. I definitely think that if it had been true then their actions were justified. Its not heartless to cut ppl who do horrible things out of ur life. However I DO think they should've looked more into it, been more cautious and just spoken to him ONCE before they wiped him from existence in their "family". I honestly think replying could be his healing route tho. Not contacting them for reuniting but to acknowledge that he knows they know how massively they messed up. Tell them what they did to him, maybe see them grovel, and then wipe them from his existence. Talk to ur therapist and move on. Learn to make connections so u don't just fall back on old ones for the sake of having any. Hope he finds peace.
The husband friend story. He told her they’re exclusive straight up cuz he’s still abusive and feels like she should be exclusive while he blatantly cheats. It’s probably OPs first ever relationship. She should have divorced him, sited abuse and infidelity, taken half of the house he lives with the friend in. Sprinkle sprinkle
The 1st story is infuriating. The 17 year old doesn't have kids and it's not her responsibility to take care of someone else's kids. Entitled parents drive me crazy 🤬
There's an update with the SA story. He met with the therapist but he's not gonna update the situation anymore further than him just thinking about what he should do next after meeting up with her
Cousin S.A story if he actually had s.a his family member he should have been exiled. But his family should have investigated because out of nowhere someone says something crazy like that it would have been suspicious his parents didn't even try to listen, stand up or investigate.
It was the last summer before she started her graduating year. Kinda weird but they wanted to celebrate the "last" family summer vacation. OP was trick by a lame preface that had she just thought a second would have guessed what really was going down. OP parents are guilty by omission.
Agree with your takes on the marathon and all, but it's hilariously and poetically funny to me that he left her behind at the marathon, so she left HIM behind at the marathon. Justified? No. But I'm all for petty and poetic (the screaming and silent treatment afterwards, not so much)
29:50 This story reminds me of Clarence Moses-El who spent decades in prison because an acquaintance of his was sa'd while she slept, and while being treated in the hospital under the influence of drugs, she dreamed of him and told the police it was definitely him because of that dream. They didn't use DNA to confirm it was in fact him, just took her word on it. He was released and was granted 2 million dollars for that gastly mistake, but she still swears it was him, even after they finally did DNA testing and it didn't match his. These stories are heartbreaking and disgusting.
Wow that's horrible. The cops should definitely know better than to question a victim or anyone really under the influence! 2 million dollars will never account for the pain and hurt he went through thats just ugh.
For the false sa story: THAT FAMILY BETTER HAVE TREATED THE LYING COUSIN THE SAME WAY THEY TREATED HIM. I hope op is doing okay and not talking to any of them
Story 1: The OP is NTA bc they are being taken advantage of as a parentified child. They could say "I'm not watching this kid, it's not my kid. Bye." But they don't feel empowered to do so. Rather, they feel obligated to babysit without complaint. So when the parents lose their free babysitter, they are shocked. The dad isn't even empathetic that they're being treated that way, instead he says some nonsense about wasting money.
As someone with ADHD who’s used a bunch of different medications for it. They’re pretty interchangeable, they’re all stimulants and the differences are how fast or slow the dosage is released. Also as they’re short acting you don’t get withdrawal. It doesn’t build up in your system like that. If the mom is working I’d say it’s more important for the mom to have the meds over the kid, losing focus at work could have bigger issues for the family than the kid not being focussed for one day of school. Also in regards to dosage, my psychiatrist prescribes to me with the idea that I’ll pick my dosage based on my workload on the day. She really should be more responsible about her kids medication. I don’t like the her vs the dad and kid mentality.
Exactly, I have ADHD as well I’m 34 both my sons 8 and 13 have it as well and I don’t give them their meds on weekends because they don’t need them and I have done a lot of work with them and their psychiatrist to find more natural remedies and methods to help them work through and mostly control their symptoms so that they don’t become absolutely dependent on the medications to function mentally. Also my kids where diagnosed in Kindergarten both of them like with majority of boys ADHD is diagnosed early on in childhood because boys are more known for the hyperactivity and the inability to think before acting on their emotions, feelings and impulses, also boys with ADHD are often destructive. Until the mid 90’s ADHD was thought to be only in boys because the way it shows up in majority of girls as well as the societal pressures and expectations for girls are much harsher and demeaning than for boys. So for girls, it’s not acceptable to be hyperactive and destructive so girls have to bottle up that impulse and the cause and effect of that is, severe depression, anxiety, talking constantly, spacing out, inability to focus, talking super fast and constantly interrupting people when they’re speaking, and extremely low self esteem. O and also not being able to sleep well/ very light sleeper, or the opposite so sleeping way to hard and over sleeping 💤, having time blindness so always late and it’s physically painful to force yourself to be time sensitive. I am 34 now and because in the late 80’s and in the 90’s and the kind of conservative ideals my mom and step ad had and their parents had they did not believe in mental health disorders or disabilities past down syndrome, severe autism and schizophrenia, so I like my brother for the symptoms we could not control just got beat the hell out of for it, we were constantly told that “ they would beat some act right into us”. I was diagnosed during the pandemic lockdowns when I finalized my divorce to my abusive husband of 9 years and switched careers and work remotely and the depression, and having my first desk/ sit down job I could not focus nor sit still I had to constantly get up and move, every time I walked into the other room for something I completely forgot what I went In there for and I told my therapist my struggles and how I always had them but now that I’m stuck inside because of COVID and started my first ever sit down job where I’m not constantly on my get the entire time moving and staying actively busy as a professional chef or car salesman, I was losing my mind and I was diagnosed and when I studied deep into ADHD and all the symptoms for children and the symptoms that are far more common in adults with ADHD I realized how really serious my symptoms were and how if I knew I had ADHD decades ago it could of answered so many questions for me, it could of prevented so much pain and so much judgement from others and myself, it could of helped with self esteem issues, and most importantly helps me understand myself and why my brain worked the way it did. Adult ADHD is definitely more serious than ADHD in children, as children as long as they are not In an environment or setting where they need to focus, sit still, pay attention to a instruction. For adults it’s more about depression and anxiety and work and relationships which is a constant.
As a person with ADHD, me and my friends swap medication pretty casually. When we run out it can really be the difference between having a remotely controlled day and sitting on the couch in paralysis all day. They are all very similar medications, and while some generally work better for each individual and the side effects intensity can differ per medication, it’s not generally harmful.
on the topic of the adhd story: as someone who is prescribed medication/diagnosed with a mental health disorder, there exists a much different relationship to the diagnosis & meds. it’s easy for me to be much more casual about taking my meds than those who may be affected by my taking them or not. generally, you don’t necessarily agree with the stigma associated with your diagnosis if you even agree with the diagnosis at all because people are telling you to not be what you have always been. that said, it may be hard for neurotypical individuals to understand from that perspective because their logic is shaped differently. personally, it doesn’t seem out of the ordinary or necessarily like flawed parenting for the mother to say that her son can miss a day because she’s likely done the same & felt, as she puts it, “fine”. she likely can empathize with the indifference or even aversion to being medicated that her son may feel & his father may not be considering. that doesn’t mean that she is right or that there’s no need for conversation & boundaries, just that the perspectives are different & no one needs to be demonized for them. edit: also, op doesn’t seem like a reliable narrator. he “caught” her while she casually took the meds in front of her & then called it “addict behavior”. he also framed the one day dosage as if it were the son’s last dosage when the son seems to still have some left over.
In the accusation story, I would NEVER speak to them again, EVER! First, I would tell them all what I went through. Emotionally, mentally, financially, all of it. Then I’d tell them all to never contact me again. That was completely heartbreaking
As a sexual assault and rape victim herea my take: If a family member has been sexually assaulted by another, do not protect the assaulter. victims see that you forgive the person that RUINED their life forever, especially as a child. The greif of being assaulted by someone you trusted, seeing them every family gathering, seeing and hearing others talk fondly over them, it creats a whole other wound. I know so many people who were molested by a trusted family member and others openly forgave them, and i think thats the most dirty, disgusting thung you could do. So many family members forgive literally pedophiles because they are family, and i honestly think its abhorrent and disgusting. If you fucking sexually assault or rape a family member, especially a minor one, you should be cut off and never get close to another child or person with children again. No sympathy. There us no way to accidentally sexually assault someone unless they genuinely do not know better at their young age. The family would have done the right thing IF that guy actually hurt a child, but he didnt. They hurt their child over the lies of another, making a mockery of real victims and muddying the waters. You always take these accusations seriously, like remove the child from the family member, make sure theres distance, confront the family member with other adults around. Dont do it over text or phone call, get the police involved even. Youd think it would ruin someones life but even with evidence its hard to convict someone of sexual crimes. I know from experience, un- fucking-fortunately.
The accuracy of this hurts. So well put thank you, from another SA survivor. Hearing them talk about how cutting him off was wrong made me want to throw up and reopened old wounds. My family brushed it under the rug, made me the bad guy, and they constantly try making me forgive the relative who did it. It seriously broke me for so long. I would kill to have had my family react like OP's did. I do have sympathy for OP of course, and none of what he went through was fair or okay since he was innocent. But the family cutting off someone who they thought was an abuser after hearing every messed up (and unfortunately made up) detail was an appropriate reaction i think. I wish people wouldn't lie about this, it really screws over every victim out there.
@@candysong8603 I truly hope you're healing. It's devastating all around, I feel so bad for that man but the family dis what they thought was right, even if they didn't make 100% sure.
This. I agree with all of this. Also if they genuinely thought he did that, yeah they should've involved police. Hopefully maybe they would be able to investigate and see whether or not it was true. This story is honestly pretty difficult as, on one hand, you should do what you can to protect the victim when that allegation comes out and, on the other hand, it would be difficult to tell whether or not it was a lie.
@@JewelWildmoon My main thing when it comes to these issues when there is no evidence is this: Stay cautious. Obviously these allegations if false can absolutely ruin someone's life but if they are true you might be allowing them to further harm and assault others. Like in this family, there was no evidence so anyone with kids would be right to not let them be unsupervised with OP on the off chance the allegations were true, but totally cutting them off with no evidence and no further investagation is horrible. No one wants to think a family member would lie about these crimes, but they do.
@@Graves933 I agree. I guess the family was one of those who go with cutting someone off entirely under the assumption that family would never lie about that. I hope they take this as a lesson, though it's horrible that it resulted in what happened to OP. I'm seeing some people claiming that him thinking about getting back at E is proof that he did it, but imo I think pretty much anyone would have those dark, hateful thoughts towards someone who falsely accused them.
My heart hurts for the dude with the false accusation story. I hope he'd not afraid to try and start a new social life, whether it's with or without his family. I'm so mad, like they didn't even give him a chance to explain himself. Damn bro... What if he ended up in prison and didn't get to get the life he currently has? Oh my God...
Tbh what's shocking me the most are the people defending E's actions. Someone brought up a valid point that she could've possibly been SA'd by someone else in the room and, out of fear, called out OP as the perpetrator since he wasn't in the room. But imo that doesn't excuse placing that kind of false allegation on someone. I can maybe give the victim in question the benefit of the doubt, but definitely not people who act as though saying it's wrong somehow makes you a bad person. As though the falsely accused isn't a victim of the situation too.
@@JewelWildmoonyou’re acting as if what e did wouldn’t have been a trauma response. we have no idea why she did what she did. she could’ve been threatened or something.
Me personally, since it’s family, I’d want to try to reconcile but ……. how could you ever have a relationship with these people???? For 9 years straight he was completely disposable I could NEVER get over that abandonment.
As somebody who has been to disney with 2 kids under the age of 10 and 4 adults including me and it literally wasnt that hard 😂 both the adults and kids got to go on every ride we wanted to go on and we had a great time! Yall are right saying these kids must be a terror
Just wanted to chime in on the ADHD meds.. have been diagnosed since sophomore year of highschool medicated since. ADHD meds are EXTREMELY government regulated because of how addictive they can be. Even if you get your bottle stolen you will not get an early refill period (at least with adderal specifically). So for a mom to be sneaking something that is that addictive to that nature is definitely sus.
I disagree, it sounds like she just ran out and needed something for that day. I have definitely borrowed from a family member's prescription when I wasn't able to fill mine before I ran out. I don't think it's that big of a deal, especially if it was just 1 day. You can refill those scripts at like day 28 usually, so the son wouldn't even necessarily have to go without. She also wasn't sneaking, she took it while they were actively having a conversation. People who are abusing prescriptions are not taking therapeutic doses, they're taking multiple pills at once. Adderall can be addictive if you abuse it, but it's not likely to cause addiction if you are taking therapeutic doses. I think the husband is overreacting.
It’s addictive for people without ADHD and if you take more than needed within a given day. The government regulation is more so because of non-ADHDers taking it and abusing it
If the family in the SA story really cared about the right thing, they would haveinvestigated or tried to press charges or something. They handled it so poorly. Nine straight years of no interaction at all? Astounding. Not sure what really happened to the cousin, maybe she was confused about her trauma or is just sadistic. Either way, I can’t believe his parents ruined his life like that and didn’t even try to address the situation. Now they want to talk to him-over text? They should be calling every day and talk seriously about reopening the door. Part of me feels like this story isn’t even real, that’s how crazy it sounds.
Yeah, that's what's maddening to me, even if you think you're doing the right thing by throwing them out, to try to handle it all in-house? No! If he really was an abuser, you just let him go off to abuse someone else's kid. If the police had been involved, that flimsy accusation would have fallen apart in no time since she caved under almost no pressure seemingly. And if he had done it, at least there would be the chance he would be separated from future victims, even considering the small number of SA investigations that actually result in charges
on the ADHD story: personally, as someone with ADHD who’s been on and off different medications, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal?? ADHD meds aren’t like insulin, it’s not the end of the world if you don’t take it for one day and actually a lot of doctors say it’s okay to take medication breaks (ie not taking them on the weekend or on summer break). It’s not like birth control where missing a day will fuck you up and it also doesn’t have withdrawn symptoms like that. Also, generally, ADHD medications can be interchangeable especially if they’re of a similar type. ADHD medications also aren’t really addicting?? Especially if you have ADHD, they’re not really something people get addicted to. I actually think it’s really weird that the husband jumped straight to thinking it was a pill addiction or something-why did he instantly assume the worst? Another thing is that, between the two, the mother is the one who is working and bringing the bills is the one who will need the ADHD medication more. Missing ADHD medications for one day will not decrease the child’s quality of life in a significant way. A decrease in job performance can impact the mothers career in much more serious ways than what will happen to the kid. The kid will just be more hyperactive than usual (this is coming from someone who has experienced missing ADHD medications for a day).
agree 100%. if mom works, it’s way more important for her to have the meds, not to mention that ADHD makes it harder to remember to refill your meds-maybe she needs the dose today to get past the executive dysfunction to remember to reup. i think the mom has other issues but a single isolated incident of one pill isn’t concerning to me
40:40 this was such an important point. Cuz even if the accusation HAD been true - OP woulda been 16 at the time, a minor, and was 22 when they heard the accusation and cut him off. It's common knowledge that minors who are perpetrators of SA are often doing so because they were a victim themself. The correct response from his parents would've been to find out the full story, and do whatever they can to support him in not being that person anymore. Instead of just 100% instantly cutting him out and being like "you suck byeeeee". There are all kinds of reasons someone might do that at 16 - and the vast majority DO NOT involve them being an evil irredeemable human being, they involve a very damaged child who needs serious help. It doesnt mean the abuse was ok AT ALL but part of being a parent is wanting to help your children grow and change even when they do something awful. Like ffs unless he had an established pattern of being a terrible person (which doesnt sound like it was the case at all), then this is a disgusting response. He does ONE thing, as a MINOR, and it isnt even fkn CONFIRMED that he did it, and you cut him right out?! Truly terrible parents and they should be ashamed of themselves
just wanna say the part about victims becoming abusers is not true.. it's false info that people have been spreading for decades to shame victims into feeling guilty and bad..
I'm honestly really glad you guys were so sensitive to a story about the sa story. However, it's not Harsh to cut out somebody who has done horrible things, whether family or not. If I was in the parents's position, I wouldn't know what to do, to be honest. I would look into it more and then cut out my kid if they did it. I don't care who you are to me, family or not if you do a horrible crime like that or worse than you aren't family to me no more. I feel really bad for the guy. He didn't deserve to go through that. If anything, the parents should definitely have done more research before deciding to cut him out. In a way, if it was true, I'm glad that they decided to cut out their own son because most families would just look it over. I hope he gets the peace he deserves whether he forgives them or not.
That SA story he lost his family and HIS FUTURE. AND ANY POSSIBILITY OF FUTURE FAMILIES, friends, relationships. They literally destroyed his life with a nuclear bomb and wanna just text to try to come back. If that was me I would just let them know I was in therapy and went through A, B, C and then be done. Let them stew with what they did to me so they know the consequences and so they can't do that to anyone else.
The story about the SA is hard. I'm on the flip side of it. I was gr00med and abu£ed by my uncle and they all know it's true but choice to shut me out. If someone SA a minor and you know for certain they did I think they should be thrown to the wolves because the damage they did to that minor can never be revered
I've been recently binging a bunch of your videos and enjoying them a lot. I just wanted to comment and thank you for the content warning for the story with the false SA accusations and for the specificity of the warnings. It should be the standard, but many give no warnings at all for such content, so I really appreciate it when thet exist and when they're specified as well. I'm someone with trauma from SA, and both unfortunately and fortunately get extreme "triggered" anxiety when something similar to what happened to me gets described to me without warning. I can deal with the topics when I know of them beforehand, so I greatly appreciate you mentioning everything you did, even if the accusations weren't real.
The false SA story is so sad. I had an old friend go through the horrible journey of being accused for something he never did and his life has never been the same.
With the adhd meds - it’s likely that it’s something like adderall vs vyvanse which can technically be interchangeable for some people (my doc sends in Vyvanse if adderall is back ordered) but wow I would be devastated if my mom did that to me
Amazed by how in the last story she intentionally didn’t finish the race because she felt bad that she couldn’t keep up with his speed. It’s not like he criticized her for not running at his speed, he just wanted to try his best. The fact that he waited for her at the finish makes it clear he didn’t care much about how long she took as long as he could use the event to put in a genuine effort which he prefaced many times to her ahead of the race. it’s so wild of her to say he ditched her when that’s exactly what she did by just driving away mid race after he didn’t even care if she decided to side gallop the whole time instead of actually run the whole race.
Also the only way that cousin story would be funnier is if you guys had already been saying “that’s my Cousin” before knowing you really were. Top notch lore
About the ADHD story. The mom might be dealing with RSD (Rejection sensitive dysphoria). Its not an excuse snd she needs to get help with that but it would explain the strong reaction.
1:13:00 yall are too funny. The “side gallop” is just that gallop run that we all used to do as kids, I think Maddie is closest to accurate form 😂 I love this podcast and the way yall cut up and have a good time
i’ve been binging this podcast all week and i just got SO excited when i opened youtube and saw a new upload. and it’s the longest one yet??? feeling blessed
For the adhd story: I currently deal with adhd and take a very specific medication for it, my little brother is getting evaluated for it and is very likely to have adhd. Are we going to take the same medication? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I had to change my medication MULTIPLE times because the side effects. They would either make me eat too little or too much, or just not work in general so it took us forever to get me on the right medication. If taken off my medication I get really sick, nausea or acid reflux, migraines and lightheaded. So I try my best to take my meds on time. Mixing meds could have really bad side affects, depending on what form of adhd you have.
honestly it depends on the meds. i know with adderall i dont have withdrawals. in fact its used most often specifically because you can change the dosage day to day and take drug holidays with little effects. idk if the bahvior is really all that dangerous. but its definetly weird and i wonder if this is something she does often.
So I consider myself a Disney Adult as I live in LA so it’s pretty common for people that grow up here to go for birthdays or just because. Even though I’m in my 20s I really enjoy Disneyland even though I’m not a kid anymore, I love the rides a lot as they are nostalgic for me, and I’m not a big rollercoaster fan. But some of the newer rides such as Rise of the Resistance or Spider-Man are a lot of fun even when you are older. For me it’s the atmosphere and the food that make it so special for me. My mom used to take me with my Aunt and Cousin as LITTLE KIDS (under 2 as it’s free) and had no problems even when my other cousin was born a few years later. Four adults (or three if the BIL is there) for two kids is WAY MORE than you need. OP shouldn’t have to watch the kids, especially not when she is celebrating HER graduation! That’s just ridiculous. Younger siblings/cousins should not be responsible for their siblings or niblings unless they are being paid! The only exception would be when I was younger and go to my cousins and all the kids were upstairs doing their own thing in different rooms. My oldest cousin was just there (in my mom’s words) to make sure we didn’t kill each other or do something dangerous, they weren’t responsible for anything more than that and the older cousins got to do whatever they wanted. Big fan of the podcast by the way!
As someone who has adhd and has family and friends that have it too different medications have different side effects. She might be taking his because it doesn’t give her bad side effects and tbh it depends on how old the kid is but if she’s going to work and having to deal with other things in the home it would benefit everyone else more if she took the meds. The kid would probably be ok without. Most ADHD makes kids feel like zombies and they generally prefer to not take their meds. My cousin used to spit his out behind the radiator after breakfast💀
I had to eat the chalk ones my whole childhood until I was a teen and was shopping with my mom and she started buying my little sister (who is 12 years younger) the gummies ones and I was flabbergasted that they even made gummies ones!
8:32 This is a tough one. I get it, but...yeah, that's hella bread wasted. I think I'm gonna chalk this one up to ESH. ETA: Found the post on Reddit, and OP says that mom lied to her dad, too, so he didn't know; which makes mom the asshole.
Last note 1. Nice t shirt Sam 2 I sadly know exactly what side gallop she is talking about I think because I also employed it back in school, no I did not have friends. Y’all weren’t far off in your interpretations
I know there are tons of people who are commenting on this, but I thought I’d give my perspective on the adhd story. I’ve been diagnosed for 6 years, and I’ve been on tons of medications. I’ve gone months without stimulants before. You can’t call in stimulants until your meds are empty or almost empty because of how regulated they are, which is a nightmare for someone with adhd to remember. Once your medicine gets called in, you have to wait for your pharmacy to receive it. It’s inevitable for most of us to go a few days without meds every month because of memory lapse, and so it’s not too hard to cope in that situation. That being said, it does feel different when you haven’t taken your medication, but it’s nothing that the kid would suffer without.
I had the like solid flint stone vitamins and I loved them when I was little. It was my favorite part of the day and the purple ones were my favorite. Maybe it’s just me remembering it fondly or because I never had the gummies.
as a certified pharmacy tech and someone who has ADHD and is medicated - ADHD meds are controlled substances. it really depends on the medications, but if she were taking a stimulant and non stimulant, the non stimulant would help to reduce symptoms of the stimulant. two stimulants together could result in a headache, rapid pulse, feeling irritable/emotional, or nothing could happen. you always have to be careful and take controlled substances medications as they are prescribed, not safe to take 2 different meds without knowing the interactions between the 2. ADHD are controlled due to their potential for abuse. imo, for the mom to take her sons meds is not safe and just icky to me 😟 it could be a sign of addiction
Adhd guy here, the 'addict behavior' one is wack tbh. If you wanna try to understand what adhd is like and having medication for it like you can get kinda close if youre one of those people who needs a cup of coffee to start the day. Like the 'im not me without my coffee' stuff but like if i had to drink as much coffee as is in my stimulant pill my teeth would be yellow i guess. Like were not getting high or anything its more like at default we have low gas for anything thats not immediately gratifying/engaging and then stimulants put enough fuel in the tank for stuff like sitting still, focusing, making longterm plans, dealing with complicated emotions. And honestly going without meds on some days is kinda just like... Ok this day is shot for anything but wandering around my bed and eating food in the fridge and scrolling or gaming or w/e. Like literally having to plan to do anything else seems like a lot of effort you arent abke to convince your brain is worth it without that kinda energy chemical. Which sucks if it was just a withdrawal symptom like it is for non-adhders who do stimulants but thats how things are at baseline for us so its like... Wow the medication is medicating. Addicts like to take stimulants for energy but like taking the pill in the morning is also important for maintaining our circadian rythms of like this is when i wake up and when it starts wearing off like oh im sleepy time to go to bed. Normally for a lot of us if we dont take it its sleep through the morning and then fasten onto something like a TV show or smthn to keep us up till like 5 AM or later. But if you take the pill regularly and then stop one day usually itll tire you out and you sleep like a brick which is preferable in my opinion tbh... And like the thing with adhd is that its classed as a learning disorder and honestly like as a kid the thing people are worried about is that youll be loud or grouchy for like 1 day but like for an adult like all Executive Functions are tied to these things so if wife from the story had like literally anything to do that day i dont think shes an asshole for valuing one day of her functioning more than a day where her kid might be like a little whiny or fidgety for one day of like elementary school. tho its like a little wack i feel like my interpretation of it like seeing myself in her shoes is that she didnt thibk about it that much before just doing it when the idea popped into her head bc like thats how i acted when i was unmedicated lol. She literally ran out of the pills that make the brain have 'good decision making tools' so like i dont blame her too much for doin something kinda wild here lol.
just recently found you guys looking for a podcast to listen to while at work, already loving y’all 😭 testing the technique at the end is the best lmao can’t wait to binge the rest of your podcasts :)
Real late to the party here but the ADHD story: I think we need to be careful when discussing 'addict behavior' because it's narratives like that which make ADHD meds SO HARD to get. Also, in MY experience? It's not people with ADHD who get addicted to them, it's people without ADHD/people misdiagnosed with ADHD. Like, of all my friends with ADHD we're all constantly forgetting to take our meds and we all have several alarms to make sure we take our meds on time. I've never met an addict to forget to take a dose. Give ADHD meds to someone without ADHD though? Those folks go WILD thinking they're going to be king of the world or the next Bill Gates or something. The first time I took amphetamines I laid down and took a NAP so my doc increased my dose. The way that stimulants impact ADHD brains, and non-ADHD brains is so VASTLY different and yet it's the people without ADHD talking about how dangerous and addictive it is. Imagine people without diabetes being like, "Well when I take insulin I get really sick, so it's obviously a very dangerous medication." ... yeah, for people who don't need it! Now that I'm here I can't remember if it was an AITA or not but, the dad is DEFINITELY the asshole regardless lol.
19:15 It is not good practice to take someone else’s medication and a straight up BAD idea to mix medication, but I hope the dad knows that ADHD meds are not to be taken every day, your get a 30 day supply of 30 pills but you are encouraged to give your self and kids breaks which should leave you with extra. I’ve had drops in coverage but been able to manage with my buffer supply. But either way just make sure she doesn’t do that regularly
Ok as someone with adhd and had took medicine for it from kindergarten to the beginning 11th grade i can understand the addiction of it since at some point i went through a phase of addiction where i didnt want to stop taking it because i felt the pressure of being the smart cookie my closest family member wanted. Now that ive been off it for a few years and im an adult i do feel happier but still find some days i cant function. Not everyone is like me in this instance though, i can understand that maybe the mom feels some pressure or maybe she might not be able to fully function off of it but 1) your meds are prescribed the way they are for a reason, they are set to work with your adhd to help you focus and keep going so taking someone else's meds might not work as well 2) if she is out then the best thing for her to do is to communicate that with her spouse and im sure however she is off of it that her spouse will know how to help her, missing one from my experience is not that bad as long as you or another person know how to handle what will happen. If she is feeling some sort of addiction then she needs to also communicate that with her husband because its not good to keep in whatever emotions are causing that when adhd already messes with your emotions enough.
1st story: NTA first off like the audacity of the mom and dad tell OP that they are taking her to Disney to celebrate HER graduation, lie to her saying it’s only going to be OP mom and dad, then at the airport spring her entitled a** grown a** sister and her toddlers on OP to have her BABYSIT TODDLERS on a vacation trip to CELEBRATE OP’s graduation. Then when she made a way to not go with them, mom and sister had the audacity to tell her she ruined THEIR vacation because THEY had to deal with SISTER’s kids and MOM’s grandkids. Line what the entire F**K? How is sticking 17 year old OP with unpaid childcare duties for 1 and forcing her to take care of wild and crazy toddlers that ARE MOT HERS not should be OP’s responsibility to take care of and for free, how Is that even for 1 a celebrating OP’s accomplishments and 2 even a vacation for OP? The mom and sister are selfish entitled Karen’s and are gross, wtf I hate the adults seem to think the oldest minor(under 18-21) female is always supposed to be a free babysitter/ nanny/ maid, that is so ridiculous. I am 34 with a 8 and 13 year old I have never felt entitled to have anyone watch my kids for me especially not without being paid for it. WOW the audacity of people I swear.
@@GojosBackHandTbh, I'd just send them a text saying something along the lines of "You weren't a part of my life for the past 9 years. You don't have a right to be a part of it now" and block them.
#2 reminds me of my parents. Like I first thought who would do such a thing. Then i remembered how my mom in the same call told me about how glad she was about having good health insurance and telling me (chronically ill) that I didn't need more than basic care because she didn't want to keep her promise of helping me out with what social services didn't pay (about 100-120 Euro a month, she's a lawyer with decent income). I kept making excuses for her until recently, I exploded and told her that she's as bad as my dad. Didn't initially understand how that could have been the final straw to her but today, I saw a video about how abusers do know what they're doing and about what proves it. Just now, I'm realising that it wasn't a last straw thing but she simply noticed that she can't get anything from me in the future anymore. While I kept her out of my attempts to resolve what happened to me as a child, she still could boost her ego because I made her feel superior to that mf I grew up with after she left. I had even tried out how easily she would change her story if I pretended to have forgotten a detail that spoke against her but still, I kept finding ways to explain to myself how it was only the work of my manipulative father who cut me off when he felt that being disabled and chronically ill and in any ways in a bad situation he "did not approve of my lifestyle and decided to therefore no more support me and also not wanting any contact. Parents can be real monsters and it can take the kids decades to understand what their biological parents really are. I wish people would only be able to have children when they are ready to do whatever it takes to care for their offspring. Parents turning their own children into zombies who only live to serve their makers, it's disgusting!
Hello everyone, I think you all have a good impression of the embarrassing way in which his girlfriend finished the run. But what you must not forget is that she simply did not allow her partner to succeed. However she completed her own run with the embarrassing running style. She still managed to run 5 km, if she actually did it. That is a success too and she has to be happy about that. But that she didn't make it in the performance as he made it because he trained 20 out of 21 days alone (plus the 9 months before) shows her miserable personality. Then to also demand to neglect his own set goals just so she doesn't feel so bad would be reckless. If he graduated in rocket science, he wouldn't sweep a quantum leap in the field under the rug just to make her feel better. Of course, this could also happen in reverse where she studied rocket science. The painful point for me here is that is her personality was too small and to give your partner a legitimate success and be happy for him and proud of it.
