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Alain de Botton: Introspection, defence mechanisms, and ghosts | Happy Place Podcast 

Fearne Cotton's Happy Place
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Breaking patterns of intergenerational trauma could have a profound effect on the state of the modern world. Writer Alain de Botton believes love - or a lack thereof - is at the heart of our personal and societal issues.
In this chat with Fearne, Alain explains why so-called ‘attention seekers’ are precisely the people who need to be wrapped in love and attention. He also talks about why our defence mechanisms usually have real logic behind them, and why we should be curious about other peoples’ odd characteristics rather than getting frustrated by them.
Plus, he answers the simplest and most complex of questions: what actually is a healthy mind?
Alain’s book, A Therapeutic Journey: Lessons From the School of Life is out now.
You can pre-order Fearne’s new book Speak Your Truth here: amzn.to/2HwAkek
Listen to the Happy Place podcast here podfollow.com/happyplace or you can watch it on RU-vid here: bit.ly/3pSerHr
ABOUT HAPPY PLACE
Fearne's HAPPY PLACE is a place to celebrate honesty, authenticity and community. Fearne delves into life, love, loss and everything in-between by chatting to inspiring individuals who have made a change in their own lives or help other people to find different ways of seeing life as she reveals what happiness means to them.
Happy Place is a space that is safe for all where difference is celebrated and the extraordinary is discovered. A place to focus on the positives and to help you find the joy every day - big or small.
Still haven't subscribed to Fearne Cotton's Happy Place on RU-vid? ► bit.ly/371zqza
ABOUT FEARNE COTTON
Fearne Cotton is an English television and radio presenter, mother, broadcaster, writer and founder of Happy Place, a place where Fearne holds difficult but important conversations to encourage self-care and self-appreciation, creating a positive impact on the world, giving everyone a voice and actively listening.
CONNECT WITH FEARNE COTTON
Instagram: / fearnecotton
Facebook: / fearnecotton
Twitter: / fearnecotton

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27 май 2024

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Комментарии : 62   
@ConnieBach
@ConnieBach 4 месяца назад
Alain is the best philosopher in this modern times. ❤❤
@katarzynalindner594
@katarzynalindner594 4 месяца назад
"There is not enough love"- The very true and spot on statement and the reason of all the suffering in this world.
@zhuzhong74
@zhuzhong74 Месяц назад
Or there’s too much hurt
@aimeeegan2623
@aimeeegan2623 5 месяцев назад
I do not think I need to listen to another podcast in my lifetime after this- he has covered everything!!!
@realbobbyaxel
@realbobbyaxel 5 месяцев назад
thats an understatement
@najmnozili3012
@najmnozili3012 5 месяцев назад
Totally agree
@irisdanagher
@irisdanagher 4 месяца назад
I'm in awe at his intelligence
@nawwarali3014
@nawwarali3014 3 месяца назад
Genius .. the best philosopher in our time .. just can't get bored from listeninng to you.. grateful that I had the chance to discover such a brilliant mind like yours❤
@OrdnanceTV
@OrdnanceTV 29 дней назад
Alain is so genuine and purely authentic that literally any 'interviewer', as it were, feels performative and fake.
@ElizabethChee-rj7bn
@ElizabethChee-rj7bn 5 месяцев назад
Very introspective guy. I always enjoy what he has to say. 😊
@Mushroom321-
@Mushroom321- 21 день назад
Yes!!😮😮🎉🎉
@thinkingyas4245
@thinkingyas4245 5 месяцев назад
What is there to say other than THANK YOU? 💚
@TheGinglymus
@TheGinglymus 4 месяца назад
Alain de botton, showing that psychoanalysis is not outdated nonsense.
@julie5668
@julie5668 День назад
I wish Alain could counsel me - his voice and manner alone are so soothing, but his intellect is immense. Tennesse Williams wrote: We all live in a house on fire.
@stuartc4023
@stuartc4023 5 месяцев назад
What a wonderful conversation. Deeply generous and thoughtful dialogue about the human condition. I appreciate the curiosity in how we sometimes respond in the way we do, where it might come from and the commitment to sidestep judgement and fixing with compassion and love.
@wizzyletsgetbusy6878
@wizzyletsgetbusy6878 4 месяца назад
The comment about funerals is completely true my husband died. I was completely devastated but didn't cry. I now know why.
@skippy7208
@skippy7208 4 месяца назад
So sorry for your loss 🙏
@katarzynalindner594
@katarzynalindner594 4 месяца назад
Talks of dr Gabor Mate with his son are an example of such transgenerational talk. I envy them in a way...I recommend on YT.
@moralebooster8437
@moralebooster8437 4 месяца назад
This was an amazing interview!!! You both seem to be connected and on the same page. And Fearne your questions and balance of your own anecdotes added so much. Thank you! I'll be listening to more of your interviews
@sashacrabb6284
@sashacrabb6284 5 месяцев назад
What a fascinating exploration with Alain . Brilliantly summed up Fearne ❤❤
@kathleenhargest418
@kathleenhargest418 4 месяца назад
Really enjoyed this interview - so insightful. Also appreciate how Fearne always gives her guests the time & space to answer questions fully without interrupting them. Makes for easy listening. Thank you 🙏🏻
@Songbirdoflove
@Songbirdoflove 5 месяцев назад
Very useful and well conducted. So, thank you.
@liammoloney7097
@liammoloney7097 4 месяца назад
Brilliant
@dorothydolan3813
@dorothydolan3813 2 месяца назад
Epic 💜
@EdieArt77
@EdieArt77 4 месяца назад
Dearest Fearne, i absolutely loved this interview!! Thank you! I am an artist and animator and would LOVE to animate 2 or 3 minutes from this video. I wanted to ask for your permission first :) I'd post it on to my yt channel and send out to my mailing list. The purpose just spreading some of his amazing wisdom. ✨ thank you again for what you do!
@andrewcbartlett
@andrewcbartlett 18 дней назад
When you have nothing left all you have is hope. I have been there.
@toto-dh9dw
@toto-dh9dw 4 месяца назад
Quite so Alan quite so...once to experience this and understand then become successful
@familyguyfanboy2
@familyguyfanboy2 6 дней назад
There is fear that Love isnt enough to save our species
@foop9
@foop9 5 дней назад
Tragically it can only go so far, sometimes it does wonders but it's tricky and unstable
@yagmurpak5244
@yagmurpak5244 16 дней назад
i watched the whole thing twice 🥲
@dmgsoultogetherness6667
@dmgsoultogetherness6667 4 месяца назад
super cute in that jumper...❤
@semrana1986
@semrana1986 4 месяца назад
Alain is such a guy, Aristotle would have referred to... 😂🙏
@akhusal
@akhusal 4 месяца назад
I don't think you need to explore the past. You can't change it anyway. The past no longer exists so why worry about something that's not real? Concentrate on now, because that is where life is happening.
@Leila-ie3ms
@Leila-ie3ms 2 месяца назад
That works well to a point but if you are acting unconsciously in the now you can’t change things and be free to respond to the now without the knowledge and awareness of the past
@evadebruijn
@evadebruijn 17 дней назад
To consciously leave the past behind is different than disregarding the past and how it shaped you. Choosing not to look too deep into certain thoughts and feelings one has does not make them disappear, on the contrary. ✌️
@Dominatrix97
@Dominatrix97 3 месяца назад
42:41 ‘the terrible fear of being self-indulgent’ is caused by capitalism and neoliberal economic policies. That’s the root of the problem.
@andreasmith2786
@andreasmith2786 20 дней назад
Alain is an amazing and gifted phylosopher and therapist. Unfortunately I am not sure he knows much about Spain's history... maybe he has trusted unreliable sources.... If we speak about "cruelty", Spain in America created universities, hospitals, treated the natives as Spaniards with the same rights, they married the natives, .... the evidence is there, the people are mixed race and is obvious. Think about what other countries did in their "conquests" and it should be obvious to you Spain's history is not precisely the best example of 'cruelty' - it would be precisely the opposite.
@arturodeza1512
@arturodeza1512 7 дней назад
I don't think is the opposite, bad and cruel things still happened. But it is very true that Spain was ahead of its time when it comes to empires treating their colonies. Sometimes I wonder how it would be if we could be united now (I'm Peruvian hehe) I think it would be so nice, but also very messy haha
@ajaysyangden8254
@ajaysyangden8254 Месяц назад
What happened to your left eye? I'm worried about you Alan.
@kinkyplunk
@kinkyplunk Месяц назад
Fascinating man. I highly recommend reading his books, especially Essays in Love.
@celebratelife8436
@celebratelife8436 4 месяца назад
"Even mass murderer doesn't do it on purpose"... really? I'm surprised about that statement, is that a joke?
@wizzyletsgetbusy6878
@wizzyletsgetbusy6878 4 месяца назад
Context....he said 'if looked at from sufficient distance'.
@nourali6312
@nourali6312 4 месяца назад
He said: if you look at it with sufficient distance .
@celebratelife8436
@celebratelife8436 4 месяца назад
How does "Looking at it from sufficient distance'' change the context of the statement? So if looked at from a sufficient distance a mass murderer doesn't do it on purpose? is that what you think? @@wizzyletsgetbusy6878
@Alnivol666
@Alnivol666 4 месяца назад
It is not for everybody to understand a statement such as this. Some people have really limited intellectual capacity...like yourself.
@akhusal
@akhusal 4 месяца назад
If you were accidentally swapped at birth and grew up in Gaza, you could easily grow up to be a terrorist. Every baby is innocent, until culture and circumstances have their way.
@alexacarenati
@alexacarenati 4 месяца назад
Please, not another enabler who defends abstract parents making assumptions about their abstract intentions! Poor parents, nobody ever defends them.... Come on baby, grow up.....
@foop9
@foop9 4 месяца назад
I think I know what you're getting at. I condemn Alain for seeming to be so sure that he's right, while speaking very abstractly and even sometimes subtly contradicting his own narratives..
@Alnivol666
@Alnivol666 4 месяца назад
This is an one hour podcast. Not sure what your expectations are but it seems like they are very unrealistic. Each case has to be dealt with at an individual level. There is nothing wrong in talking about abstractions in this context because you can't address any individual case. You want that, go see a therapist personally. You want a case study, read case studies.
@foop9
@foop9 4 месяца назад
On top of watching the school of life for several years, I've seen almost all of his videos where he incorporates these sorts of narratives, as well as videos where he speaks alongside other commentators like esther perel (who I believe to be more credible), and am familiar with his writing. Nothing ive noticed would suggest a deeper comprehension (or interest) of life than what Alain expresses in these breif interviews, and that's the point. He has not enhanced or worked on any of his own theories for the entirety of his career-which speaks volumes. I dont see his work as much more than a brand and even brands evolve with time. The philosophical community will lose nothing when he's gone
@Alnivol666
@Alnivol666 4 месяца назад
@@foop9 what exactly would be a deeper comprehension of life exactly? You seem to have certain expectations which are quite subjective in nature and somehow you want Alain to cater to them for some reason. Seems like a you problem if I am being honest. Have no idea what you mean to say with Esther Perel is more credible. Credible in what sense? What exact standard are you using when you pass judgement? Where is your research to be found exactly? I think you misunderstand Alain's intent with his work. He is not writing for the academics in philosophy. He is writing for the layman who wishes to have philosophical ideas presented to them in ways that are easy to grasp.
@markdatheist9179
@markdatheist9179 3 месяца назад
The only thing missing in this guys life.... is to shave those few hairs in the side of his head
@evadebruijn
@evadebruijn 17 дней назад
With what gained? Looking like all the other balding men?
@foop9
@foop9 13 дней назад
No, to make him no longer look like he's balding ..
@elizabethk3238
@elizabethk3238 4 месяца назад
It's very disrespectful to turn in page corners. It's quite okay to write in your book, but 'dog-edge' pages are not okay
@skippy7208
@skippy7208 4 месяца назад
Lol 😂 are you serious? She can do what she pleases with her own property, as can you!!
@elizabethk3238
@elizabethk3238 2 месяца назад
@@skippy7208 my point about respecting a book is obviously beyond your scope...
@foop9
@foop9 2 месяца назад
@@elizabethk3238 getting use out of anything inevitably ends in a certain level of wear and tear. People are not immoral for using their personal property in a way that suits them. For example, you have every right to make nit-picky comments under a video on the device you paid for, even though no one asked for them ...
@skippy7208
@skippy7208 2 месяца назад
@@elizabethk3238 please elaborate 🙏
@skippy7208
@skippy7208 2 месяца назад
@@elizabethk3238 it must be! Please elaborate 🙏
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