Are Helicopter Parents Ruining a Generation? 

Well, our future is doomed then. 😆 Kidding. I work with some gen-Z people and they're not _all_ delicate little flowers. Some of them are quite capable and independent.

Nat Baker They try their best.

You must earn respect in any relationship.

Do you mean the helicopter parent?

You can't all blame your parent. Sure you probably weren't raised well, but by the time you are 20 you are stepping into adulthood. And when you are 25 you should already learned what those responsibility are even without your parent.

@@htoodoh5770 To learn an entire lifetime of skills that you weren't able to learn due to your parents isn't a five-year task. Sure you may be a functioning adult by then but, there will still be many things that you won't be very good at. Also, forget trying to be a leader or having leadership qualities because you're still trying to figure out your own shit and that effectively keeps you from many STEM and business jobs. Sure you may develop them later but it takes a LONG time.

Facts

No,No they got the point

Almost like letting ya Son believe it's a Girl or ya girl thinkin it's a Boy 🤢 SAME SAME 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🚁

or maybe find a balance between the 2. what a concept, right?

See I think that too. Except after watching this video, I realize that helicopter parenting is one of the many mistakes my parents made. And they never cared for me at all, so I can't really say it was done with good intention

They are potential humans, like how a fetus can become a person and why abortion is such a hot issue topic

When I was 6 I started walking to the kindergarten on my own. Walk right in and check in with the staff. When I turned 7, walked to school on my own all the way till I graduated. When I came to America in my 20s I was shocked to see a guy a size of my dad being dropped off by a school bus with flashing lights holding the whole traffic in a safe town. I said I love America!

@@SkyCloudSilence My mother had me at 33 years old and she was a helicopter parent.

5: you do, I'm somewhere else

6: I pick up gun, you go to school

That escalated quickly! :l

@@FRISHR 7: you pick up gun, you go to school

@@FRISHR damn

Abuse

Same here… I’m like dude you expect me to show reliability at 6 yo? YOU have to teach me that shit! LOL

My parents treated me like a baby when I was a teenager and then had the nerve to complain about me being immature. Who's fault was that?

I mean, don't get them wrong. They do want you to do things on your own, it's just the fact that they don't know how to teach you to be more independent because they're afraid of the risks of every learning opportunity, so they end up micromanaging. But blaming their kids is still a bold move.

I strongly relate.

Glad to hear that you have such determination Ronin. Strive for your goals! Butt head with your parents in a respectful manner, and prove them that you can do it!

I feel that completely

Ronin Elenion You have just explained exactly what I am going through. I love my mother but she makes me feel like I can not accomplish anything at times and I am often embarrassed. Often, there are times where I am meant to go somewhere that involves people my own age who meet up and I am the only one who has my mother with me. Once again, I am very grateful for her but I would greatly appreciate if she could let go of me since I just started my freshman year of college as well. I don’t want to sound like an asshole but I am sure that this is how we feel about our parents, especially when we get into high school

Dude you just described my life and I'm 15.

Alright just don't forget that your decisions will affect the people around you.

Don't live with it. Give them a peace of your mind

This is literally happening to me my friends started not inviting me to stuff cuz they know my mom will say no to everything ...I started thinking about it and the furthest I have been from my mom is like outside my house or my room

Omg this was like reading an autobiography. My mom and grandparents were so scared of me going to friends houses because I would get “raped” and “killed” by their fathers, uncles or brothers. I was only allowed to visit my half brother’s house and other family members only. I could never relate to other kids/teens because of this. I only now realize how screwed up my childhood was, but hey it could be worse.

Jesus Christ! Same my mothers ex was an extreme helicopter parent. He wouldn’t let us go outside to play with friends Bc he said they were bad children which he wasn’t wrong but still! And he dictated what I could and couldn’t wear to school and I had to wear ugly clothes to school for 3 years and I felt bad, developed very low self esteem, got bullied, I used to dress myself up and look nice, then he came and changed us, now that he’s got and I’m free to dress anyway I want be friends with anyone I want... I could, and I can’t Bc my pride and self worth was destroyed to the point where I care little for my appearance now a days Bc I wasn’t allowed to wear make up or cute clothes and I had to have my hair a certain length and no colors either, so I couldn’t be me. I had friends but was forced to distance myself from them Now I have a hard time making friends. My moms the complete opposite. She cares so little. She’s too involved in her own life that she rarely pays me and my brothers much attention, she works so much she can’t, she claims she wants to spend more time with ya but that’s not true. She hasn’t taught us much and hadn’t really raised us just took care of us... so now I’m starting o care more about my appearance recently I find I don’t have money to do much.. so I’m getting a job. I hope I one soon

omg same with my mom when i was growing up i couldnt do anything with friends, the last day of my 8th grade year she literally didn’t let me hang out with my friends and 2 days later we moved to a different state and i never got a chance to say goodbye to any of my friends.. so depressing and so hard for me at only 14 years old.

This is how we get you to leave ;)

It takes more than just leaving but standing up for yourself...

I will bet 1000$ that u r from Asia 🤣

@@bigbay1159 not possible in an Asian household

wait till they scold you in public like a kid, when I get out with my parents I have to think if it is really worth it.

I can't get away from them they are so horrible. And they just keep talking about how greatvthey are

@@jesseward568 My dad always reminds me of my school work, it’s pretty annoying, makes me want to move out of the house.

God were screwed

Helicopter parenting in the suburbs. Suburb kids are the ones getting raised without any independence. They depend on parents to drive them everywhere. Parents literally build a park in their backyards so there kids don't go to the park. Abolish the suburbs! (or at least make it less car dependent). Some kids in the suburbs can't even leave their house. In the city kids take public transportation to school or to friends houses. They're more aware of their surroundings. There experience more. Suburbs should only be for old people.

@@mquiroz90 what are you 12? Jumping to extremes is beyond naive...

That's exactly how I feel

My Dad just does too much for me and I always feel guilty and cause my dad didn't teach me the skills needed for this world even im nowhere near ready for this adult world and I wish to teach my kids better about this world than my dad ever did...

I think parents should try to shield children from certain dangers, for example bullying, sexual abuse, rape, kidnapping and murder. But not others like falling or hurting themselves a bit.

You're 20 leave or set boundaries...and if that sounds hard...that's life and the trade off... People drop everything and literally walk or boat to different areas with no support and make a new life one way or another...and you likely don't have half the struggles like those folks. If it's that bad, do something about it

That’s crazy, my parents were trying to get me out of the house as soon as I graduated high school.

Thank you for saying so.

GGGGAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!

Emmy Hucker This is unrelated to the topic but you look like Mia Khalifa

This is unrelated to the topic but still distracting. Dark coloured people are over represented in the video.

-Ah vilable- It’s good. White people are getting old.

...I think the point is to kick them out, especially if they're not ready. They'll flail, but they'll make it because they HAVE to.

Say I'm overreacting, but I'm 14 right now and I'm scared I'll end up like those people you mentioned.

Cosmo 99 partially it's called doing some research, ask your parents, start putting things into practice and just get on with it. I turned out fine and not only did I find a place to move in to but also learned how to cook, clean get WiFi on my own and now I'm sick of people i live with my age acting like teenagers so I'm getting a studio.

StaticStrike bruh! you're 14!!! you've got plenty of time. don't worry yourself hun. You just start to move out when you feel the need too. if you do decide in years to come just start trying to offer to clean, pay bills (if you have a job) and even start saving up for expensive things you want if you do not already do so (as long as you understand how to budget and save money you'll be fine). overtime you'll get used to it so it'll become second knowledge but hell! focus on getting good grades!

StaticStrike start applying for a part time job , make a list of house chores you need to practice, ask someone to teach you how to pay bills in case your parents wont teach you , learn to cook healthy meals , learn to use cleaning supplies , always buy on discount or sale , collect food tickets. Start saving money. start figuring out what is your plan after high school, sit down and figure out your dreams and abitions and what job do you relate the most with , and honestly research it and see the pros and cons , watch videos about it , learn to take college level tests , apply for extra credit always bc that shit helps. learn to sew to mend clothes , learn mechanics to fix a sink , mantain a healthy lifestyle and colorful green , do stomach crunches , always eat enough food so you dont crave desserts (it just rots your teeth and brings out more expenses) , have exquisite dental hygiene , pick up after yourself , be reliable , learn how to drive , always be organized with everything , your studies , your thoughts , your emotions , meditate , don't fear the future because you are your best friend , and all the strenght you need is within yourself , rely in no one else but you , and always look for opportunities , let your wishes be heard by other people , because the more you call out for it and let people know , the more likely it is for it to manifest. Develop social skills to be able to climb the ladder of sucess , control your emotions , there are no stupid questions , but there are shit people who will shut you down because you don't know something , not because you're stupid but because they're assholes, so no need to take it to heart , saves more time, if that happens then you just move on to somebody else and ask what you need to know. Always check your change in the case its wrong and always hold on to secret extra cash and a prepaid cellphone hidden in your clothing in case you're robbed , a taser for self defense , take some sort of self defense classes to let out weekly frustration and keep the juices flowing, fruit replaces snacks , oh and get multiple money sources , so you can stay afloat. i think i covered everything on how to be a functional adult. If you do all that you're very likely to be way more suceful than anyone you know , and above all , happier and fulfilled.

I can truly find a pattern between this comment and the reality we live in. My older sister grew up hanging out with her friends more than staying at home, so she was more prone to being independent, and she really is. She avoided my father during my parents' separation and lived with my mom, that's where she found more freedom. She is 23 as of now, and she's in University living in the other side of the state. I'm 20 and I almost always get my decisions chosen for me from my parents, and it's affecting my development. Don't get me wrong though, I have my part in responsibility to take care of myself and to make myself independent, but I feel like a part of that progress is being hindered, mostly by micro-management behavior. I don't completely blame my parents though, I just wish they'd done it differently. I'm not keen on having kids but if I did have to take care of one, I would want to do it differently.

When I was like 9 I wanted something to eat so I grabbed a skillet and put it on the stove to make some eggs. My mother came in, saw what I was doing, said "you have the heat to high to make eggs right, put it on medium" and left. Man I am glad I was at the end of "free range kid" era.

@@badgerattoadhall glad to know that was your experience! You even got some tips. When I wanted to try eggs there was a time I literally waited until midnight so everyone will be sleeping so I can try my hand at frying eggs lol. My comment is really old btw. A lot has changed now thankfully!

@@yashny no this was in the 1980s that this happened.

If your not gonna fail how will you succeed in doing something properly ever told your parents that?

@@justfelix30 they understood that later on.. been long time

J. Leonie we americans that live in cities are paranoid asf

J. Leonie Problem is America isn't designed for that. In suburbs, because everything is spread out, you either have a car or you're fucked. Kids can't get on a bus to meet their friends, they need to ask parents to set up a "playdate." Then, when they finally learn to drive, there are no good places to go to. It's either city (downtown is fine, but Chicago's center, for instance, is surrounded by ghettos and muggings are common) or suburbs (nothing but housing). The United States lacks places to enjoy. You either live or work. No places for kids to develop. It's hell.

LancesArmorStriking ikr

in the Netherlands we had the same thing, there was a lady in the neighborhood who would walk her kid and any other kids in the neighborhood to school but once you became old enough to look after yourself you'd just bike to school alone or with friends. and all this was in elementary school mind you

Lol at indonesia 5th graders ride motorbikes

My parents are like this wish me luck pls 😢

Do you sometimes wish that the world is supposed to die

Overgrown infants! I'm dying 🤣🤣

I cook for my family, and I'm 11. I see people say "I'm edhdidjhissexual." Or somthing like that. It's like everyone wants to be special.

@Hania Nayla dont worry I accept most genders/sexualitys I'm talking about the people who actully lie. (Like lesbians who dont like women)

@@justanomorifan3059 LMFAOOOO UR HILARIOUS AND 100% ON POINT

Show them by being responsible for your decisions and making a life of your own.

"Mom I want to learn Japanese" "That's stupid, learn Chinese instead" I started learning Japanese secretly but my Mom found my book and told me to stop.

If I listened to my parents I'd be poor right now and angry at the world. Do you.

Show your parents this video right now. I challenge you to do that.

@@LowestofheDead why would your mom be mad at you for learning a difficult language? Jeez why would you even really need chinese if your not interested in china?

dany purnomo maybe learning some grammar would make you feel better

GM45 _ dude wtf. That person is having a serious issue and you're being a grammar nazi

Ghost Shrimpe k

GM45 _ If that's how you'll play, please capitalize the first letter and use the correct punctuation.

GM45_ English isn't everyone's first language, you know...

Yuppp

How are you now?

Late reply, but I’m also in the same situation currently. Sucks big time…

just about to start college and i feel the same way- my mom doesn't even let me pack my own things

It starts with small steps. Think about little things you want to do on your own-- cooking, laundry, cleaning. Start by saying, "hey mom, can you explain how you sort laundry?. Have her show you how she does it, then let her watch you. Ask any questions. And most importantly, don't be afraid to fail. No matter what, there will always be another way. If you wash a red sock with your white shirt, you can always bleach it--so on and so forth.

That doesnt have to do with parenting skills directly. Kids are just lazy.

Amen, Zane. I hated chores too but even back then my parents made it clear how chores growing up teach the skills and knowledge we'd need as adults. A lot of house and yard work isn't really intuitive and requires coaching to do properly. I can tell that many of my friends weren't taught how to do basic chores efficiently/effectively, and that they were left to figure it out themselves. I have a very sweet friend (in her 30's) who actually has her own cleaning service, and watching her work damn near KILLS me. She doesn't know how to do ANYTHING properly; she spends twice as much time and effort doing everything and the results are *noticeably* poor. And guess what: she's lamented that her mother did ALL the chores and refused to let her and her sister do ANY. She was left to figure everything out on her own, and unfortunately it shows :( I bite my tongue a lot lol

LinusMLGTips this actually does have to do with parenting skills. The kids don't seem to know how to clean, which can happen with other essential skills that kids should know before they become adults. Also, parents can actually use skills to make their kids less lazy. By getting kids to do chores and other things, kids learn to be less lazy.

I've been reading about Waldorf pedagogy lately, and in one book, Steiner himself describes a Waldorf kindergarten in Russia, where some of the kids spent the first few months just repeatedly doing the dishes because they were so into it. I was recently also in a Waldorf kindergarten, where I was told about a particularly wild child, that they'd some times just set him to scrubbing a pot because he had so much energy. I washed the big wooden tables with some of the kids there as well - scrubbed them properly with soft soap - no lack of enthusiasm there either… and it's not just Waldorf kindergartens - where I normally work, we have to make lists for setting the tables, because most of the kids want to do it every time. Kids aren't lazy - they just aren't very motivated when things are mandatory and they don't deeply understand the point.

As a kid I always loved staying home. I could cook what I want, watch what I want, and if I made a mess I always cleaned it up

I don't think conditional love is a good thing to try. Rewards should only be for kids who accomplish things, but love should be equal to every person. There are too many families with narcissistic parents who only love some of their kids when they do something that the parent likes and neglect kids who don't over-achieve. Each kid should have love and affection, but if a kid accomplishes something, they should have a reward.

Panglios, the way kids used to learn this was through stuff like tag, or other rule-based games. In those games, kids need to negotiate and take other's feelings and opinions in to account (otherwise the game doesn't get off the ground), and they need to learn to lose, otherwise the other kids won't want to play with them. Obviously, these benefits disappear when the game is run by an adult or other towering figure of authority.

Panglos this is exactly it I think this should have been more or less described in the video

Eh, how about the generations of people brought up to believe they're special cos they're made by god? Literally taught they have divine importance just because. Aren't they more the snowflake generation?

MischievousMoo- Conditional love is bad, but I don't think that's the idea Panglos is trying to get across. My mom often said "I'll always love you, but I don't always love the things you do" after I screwed up. When I didn't turn in my homework, there were harsh consequences, not because she was one of those parents that followed the you-must-get-an-A-so-you-can-get-into-Harvard philosophy, but because she knew that not turning in your work in the real world will lead to equally dire consequences.

Children raising children made gen x as independent as they became(even though it was completely by accident and most gen x'ers who had to live like that only did it to survive) What the hell happened?

@@sominboy2757 well clearly it came with downfalls since the generation produced so many worthless parents... That's what happened, all these kids didn't raise themselves....so if these new generations are so bad, then it just shows how worthless the previous generations were at raising kids...

This is perhaps the best explanation. We've traded our Domestic Skills for Social Skills and so when we become independent and must look after ourselves we fail to do so. The parents of today are rasing children as how they wanted to be raised, the selfishness of Today's generation can be tracked to the one before.

So your dad

@@ihavenoideawhatimdoing4 In my case yes. My dad

@@DisWldFrk90 I knew it

Something told me the mother was the issue

My grandad was a chinook.

fuck I laughed

that sounds really cool! what industry do you work in?

Ouch

This generation crap is stupid, very gen has good and bad

Yes please parents let your kids go outside and meet people and hangout. Let them walk to their friends place just let them go out.

Okay so you never learned how to stand up for yourself and place healthy boundaries

@@bigbay1159 agreed

Matthew Sanchez Yeah, but recovery is such a struggle.

Yep. I believe that over coddling a child could be an issue, but I'm not at all convinced that enough people do it to cause any type of societal problems. I hoped the video would do more to set up the idea that parents are over coddling children now as compared to earlier generations, but nope, just another "wrapping children in bubble wrap is bad!!" video. Well no fucking shit.

Inebriatd Lol.

I don't think that this video was encouraging parents to beat their kids. It seems to me that they were just reccomending parents let their kids be more independent rather than doing everything for them.

MaximumCringe be real with them, tell them that the restrictions that they put on you now will harm you later in life when you have underdeveloped social skills and are unable to stay self motivated and rely on yourself. Also don't just argue with them with only your word against theirs, back it up with factual evidence. Try to get your parents to adopt a more authoritative parenting style in stead of authoritarian. Or if all else fails find a good boy scout troop to join, I remember plenty of kids in my troop making friends and finding their social footing in my troop.

Why would you say that . That’s awful i hope ur kid won’t see this 😭

He said that because these things do happen.

At age 17, 18, 19 - you’re worried about their getting hit by a car?? You have big problems.

Getting hit by a car is still his responsibility

@@kaylanicole6229 God I hope this is a troll...

Helicopter parenting is passive abuse

@@Divan000 I’m pretty sure she told me her mom was in jail for trying to kidnap her, idk she’s in college now and even lives on campus so at least her dad let her move out, she probably exaggerated things too

Same XD

That will be next step in helicopter parenting.

Lol

Shhhh, don't give them anymore ideas!

@@KRAWofficial Parents won't see this dummy

I don't know why I cried as a guy while reading your comment, I am already 19 and still processing emotions because of my helicopter Asian parents. What makes it even hard is, at this age is pressuring me to make adult life changes which is also one of the reasons none of the girls had taken a like on me. Never really felt real love from anyone, because in the end they are just a backstabbing people gossip toxicity about who I am.

​@@jrdhooopsxd3151 This is just my opinion, but I don't like Helicopter or Asian style parenting, that's my least favorite kind of parenting.

@@mustasheolll2020 You don't get to choose parents, it's inevitable. But I hope I can just avoid my parents for the time being just for the sake of healing my mental health

​@@jrdhooopsxd3151if this help you, I felt the same when I was your age. I'm a happy adult nowadays, and I was a very happy one since my 25's. It's hard work, but it's worth it. Be honest with yourself and others and don't get bitter, just because stuff are not working right now. If you keep going, it's more probably that it will go better.

Good 4 you, you can learn this stuff when u older. But something like doing your child’s homework is child abuse and will Psychologically harm them.

@@MisanthropeAntelope15 It’s not that hard to learn how to do this stuff when your older, I’m almost 20 and I’m fine ok.

My parents packed my lunch for me since I was too exhausted to do it myself because school literally is super unhealthy and drains you of your energy.

@@Beanssss_ oh no, for sure. this comment is a yr old and i have my mom do lunch in the mornings while i get ready. school is.... exhausting, to say the least.

Helicopter parents "Higher!!" Sane people "I thought 21 was good enough.."

@@user-tm3fz7qx3s me,an intellectual:i will let off my child when they get a good wage and a nice apartment or a house,and help them financially until they're ready to live independently

exactly. sickening, this country.

Healthcare costs a ton BECAUSE of government intervention, adding more is just putting a band-aid on an open wound. If we treated healthcare like every other service industry, the prices would be set by supply and demand.

That's not how it works. We have public healthcare here and everything is WAAAY less expensive than in the US.

Kids have insurance under their parents until 26.

Giving your parents independence doesn't just mean physical independence (letting them do dangerous things etc), but also intellectual independence.

My dad is a baby boomer born in 1954, I was born in 2002 so he was almost 50 when he had me. He’s one of those white conservative parents who’s really controlling, some of my friends also had parents like him. We were not raised right is all I can say. I was like that in the late 2010s when I was a teenager, depressed. I’m not depressed anymore but I have anxiety disorders and just fail a lot which hurts my self worth.

I dropped out of college, education makes my brain hurt 😂

bit of an update, I'm doing alright but that kind of parenting will traumatize u for life

Why tf is (almost) every gen Xer a helicopter parent

Angie Please tell me you're exaggerating. Maybe I'm just not getting sarcasm. I'm sorry.

Nope, took a cooking class to fill an empty time slot in HS, most of the students didn't know how to use a stove.

Venitex / Crimz0n Ooooooof wtf.

What is this stove of what u speak of

i learned to cook when i was about 8

I mean that's just a anecdotal experience. Plenty...and I mean plenty of abuse from military parents who could never turn it off and also problems of being helicopter parents. It's all context and case by case, each person is their own independent being.... I'm a marine myself, and that has no bearing on if someone will be a good parent. Sadly some good amount of military parents also confuse beatings with regular punishments

TheNerdyVlogger I have a similar situation

even if you hit them slightly it isn't about not leaving bruises on them it's you driving them away and you'll probably start hitting harder everytime

@@MyNguyen-gv2ip Parents are role models for their children's behavior. When they yell, curse or call names, they are teaching their children to do the same. Treat your children with love and respect.

Depends what the child have done. Example if my kids had become bully’s, drug seller or worse. I probably think it’s ok to gave a beating.