10 Characteristics Of Highly Toxic Parents 

Do you suspect your parents to be toxic? How do you think parents become toxic in the first place? The first 100 people to download Endel at bit.ly/3yZQi6J will get a free week of audio experiences!

It's funny how parents think we have depression because of technology when technology makes us feel better and in our own little world

The stigma of “parents did their best” has got to end and we start acknowledging abuse for what it is. Child abuse. People like this do not deserve children, nor do they provide any value to the greater good of the world. I understand that these people often had abusive childhoods, but excusing it to allow the cycle of abuse to continue (which so often happens) is beyond irrational.

1. Hypercritical 2. They don’t allow you to express your true feelings 3. They compete with you 4. They don’t see their children as individuals 5. They control their children using guilt and money 6. They always put their feelings first 7. They demand your attention and praise 8. They withhold love as a form of punishment 9. They give no apologies and take no blame 10. They ignore healthy boundaries

10/10. "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." One of my mother's favourites.

My parents literally checked every single item in this list. It's amazing how much damage toxic parents can do to us. I'm over 40 years old, have had no contact with my parents for nearly 20 years and am STILL recovering from the PTSD caused by being raised by them. Thank goodness I was able to find a good therapist. I hope anyone who has gone through this can find healing through therapy as it's helped me more than I ever could have imagined.

“Quit being overdramatic” “act your age and be mature” I was told this when I cried. And that 2nd one hit so hard it made me want to cry.

This is exactly my wife’s mother. At 45, she still can’t stand up for herself and has severe mental health issues because of her toxic mother. Damage done in childhood stays for life, and it hurts.

My mother is incredibly toxic. I haven't talked to her in nearly 12 years now, after she tried to guilt trip me on her grandchild inspection visit. She retold one of my most painful memories as a child as having "spanked his little bottom", when she had actually dragged me out of school, took me down an empty road and beat on me with a spatula until it broke, then complained about government interference when thw school had a home inspection done. She sent me an email when she found out I had cancer, that started out nice enough, but quickly tirned back into blaming me for everything that went wrong in her life. Ive just kept it no contact, seems like a safe way to deal with it.

1. they are hypercritical 0:45 2. they don't allow you to express your true feelings 1:22 3. they compete with you 3:01 4. they don't see their children as individuals 3:40 5. they control their children using guilt and money 4:20 6. they always put their feelings first 5:01 7. they demand your attention and praise 5:34 8. they withold love as a form of punishment 6:06 9. they give no apologies and take no blame 6:48 10. they ignore healty boundaries 7:32 I hope I could help!

Watching to try and avoid passing on toxic traits intergenerationalally. The guilt of trying to make your own mental health better while trying to raise a balanced happy child is the heaviest feeling . To any other parents here trying to better themselves, im proud of you! You are a good parent !

I expected one or 2 of these things to apply to my parents, but all of them did, and very easily lol. Everyone in my family acted like I was crazy when I distanced myself from my parents and moved to another state in my early 20's, but looking back I really think I made the right choice.

expressing why you are angry = disrespecting your parents

I’m so sorry for all the kids/teens who are here because of their parents being toxic. As they say, “All children deserve a parent but not all parents deserve a child.” I relate to all these things unfortunately Things will get better. Stay safe everyone 💜

Watching these to learn what not to do with my kids. I grew up in a very toxic environment and I’m always on the lookout not to repeat what I went through, break the family cycle if you will. I am always questioning and teaching myself how to be a healthy parent because my babies deserve the absolute best, there’s a lot of doubt on myself but I’m trying really hard to be better everyday.

My late mother was this, I’m now watching videos and researching and realising I wasn’t the problem, God bless you all going through this, we are strong together

After 27 years I finally understand that there is nothing inherently wrong with me. I’m still struggling to find love and respect for myself and my personal goals. I see the same thing happening to my little sister now, but i’ve been cut off from the family and have no clue how to help her.

What's even sad about toxic parents is that they want their children to be something they don't want to be.

My mom hits everything on this list. I'm 37, and still only just scratching the surface of the damage she did to me. My dad isn't wholly innocent, but his is more a fault of not seeing and recognizing the signs of the abuse that went on when he wasn't home. She died two years ago, and I almost feel guilty at the relief of knowing she's out of my life forever.

I want to stop watching because I keep crying with these videos but I feel more understood here than by my own family

i never realized my mother did some of these things specifically, but the explanation of how the child can become when they are adults like "not being able to say no to people" and "hiding their feelings to please others" are all so accurate so now im really wondering if all these happened and i just never really noticed.

I relate to LITERALLY EVERYTHING on the list. I have horrible parents.

One I figured out I was a toxic parent I got help and apologized to my kids. I didn't just say I'm sorry I apologized for forcing them to be perfect and ignoring what happiness looked like to them. I explained my whole life I had to be perfect not realizing it was a passed down cycle. I broke it. I told my kids perfection is an illusion. Success is what it look like to them. It starts with parents getting help and healing from toxic upbringing and apologizing to our babies and taking responsibility. As a parent I realized I'm not always right it's my kids life. Our relationship is much better it's weird because I'm a different person my kids are learning me I'm learning them. They're 23 and 19 I'm 43 it's never to late to break toxic family dynamics. I love my kids more than my pride and ego.

I have 2 younger siblings and now when I look back at how I used to treat them, I feel so disgusted of myself. But my reaction to their actions back then was only a reflection of the reactions I got from my parents for similar situations. Now that I have started living on my own, far away from my hometown, I realise I've been abused, neglected and manipulated while I grew up. I could never forgive myself for treating my younger siblings the way I used to do. Maybe it's beyond repair. I think I too have a hand in breaking them from inside. I'm so sorry for my actions but they don't necessarily need to forgive me.

I remember my mum telling me constantly how she didn’t understand how I was a bad and selfish person when she was such a great and kind person. Eventually I started to believe it. Once I asked to go to a movie with my friends and she said that I only cared abt my friends and no one else at all. I realise now that she was extremely toxic and I am beginning to distance myself now❤️

I had a father that would open my mail. I asked him why and he said it was by accident. This happened more than a dozen times.

I remember when I lived with my grandma and I got in trouble, she would make me write a essay or do a puzzle(she doesn’t believe in hitting or yelling at children, she also did this type of punishment with my mom and aunties and uncles when they were younger), then explain how my actions were wrong or bad. And I actually learned from that. Now that I live with my parents it’s either getting hit or told that they don’t love me. Like what the f can a person learn from that or grow as a person. at least I’ll be able to live with my grandma again when I go to college

This really hits home. On top of everything said, I am constantly reminded by my mother how selfish I am for living my own life instead of living with her, so that she is not lonely, because that was her reason for getting me in the first place. And when I resist she pulls out the guilt and blame in the form of telling me how lonely she is without me and that her only thoughts are of death because she has nothing else than me in her life. I hate this, I feel constantly so guilty for living my own life and on top of that her parenting gave me terrible whiplash to these days that everytime something good happens I automatically expect and fear something bad will follow and I cannot enjoy even the little things without the knot in my stomach. Toxic parents are so unbelievably damaging to children and later adults that grow up from those children. Personally I know my mother had the same upbringing from her own mother and I decided to end that cycle and stay childless.

It's actually crazy how relatable this video is. Every single day my mom tells me she wishes that i was more 'girly' and 'sensible' and 'good in the kitchen' and that she wishes i was a boy so she could kick me out of the house sooner

My mother was a toxic parent. She was VERY openly critical and constantly compared me to others and VERY controlling I'm still a work on progress and make sure I don't treat my children the same way.

My mother is the textbook example of a toxic parent. My dad, bless his heart, does do everything he can to keep me and my brother happy and well cared for, but his wife is a whole nother story. She constantly is hounding on us for the things she wanted to do but never got to because she had us. Everytime there is even a small argument in the house, she dramatizes it and makes it all about her, no matter what the argument was even about. I get in trouble for things that are out of my control. I can't help the hair color I was born with, or how tall I am. I cant change my genes, yet she still yells at me for every little detail that she sees as an "imperfection". As I've gotten older, I've come to realize how toxic she truly is and that there will always be people who love and accept me for who I am. I'm currently 16, about to turn 17. I'm just counting the days till I can legally move out, and put this woman behind me. Edit: I'm now 17 and will be going into my senior year of highschool. She's gotten worse over these past few months and my brother has called the police on her several times because he was scared that we were going to get hurt. This woman is insane. I'm choosing to ride it out till I graduate and can leave. I will be filing a restraining order against her when I am living on my own. My partner is the best person I could've asked for to help me through this. They are so beyond supportive and have told me time and time again that if I start feeling unsafe, all I have to do is text them and they will come and get me. No questions asked. I've found myself having to utilize that privilege more than once. I am still counting the days until I can legally move out and put the years of mental scars behind me. I would also like to thank everyone sharing their stories in the replies. Its been relieving on some level to know there are people that know what I'm going through. It doesn't matter your age, or how long you've been dealing with it. Abuse is abuse, and toxic is toxic. Blood doesn't make that any different.

My dad was incredibly toxic. He fits into a lot of the categories on this list, especially #5. Anytime I would try and tell him the things he did wrong, his go-to excuse was, "Well, I could've treated you so much worse. I'm not as bad as other parents out there." I've been no contact with him for about 7-8 months now.

My mother was and still is toxic, even into her 70s and I have almost no contact now thank goodness. When called out on her behaviour she plays the victim, “everybody hates me, nobody loves me”

Not only would these traits have an effect on children, it has effect to your partners and friends too

my parents have never really asked if i was doing okay, or even cared, just always acted the same, it feels bad, like no one cares about your feelings, so i never really knew how to properly express my emotions

I remember only ONE positive statement from my mother before I was a teen. She was amazed how well I cut paper dolls. That was the only compliment I ever got. She had 4 kids, and didn’t want to parent any of us.

I’m glad I’m learning this stuff now. I’m 19 (almost 20) and moved out of my parents place almost two years ago. They were extremely toxic. After my dad got sole custody, him and my stepmom dehumanized my mother and forced me to stop contacting her. They verbally abused me almost every day and then turned it around on me when I finally fought back. I’d try to consult my brother for his help but he always told me that I fight back too much. What they didn’t understand is that I was doing the best I can and didn’t have the diagnosis I needed. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Instead of taking that as “Oh, maybe I should change how I behave with my child since they have mental health problems” they took it as “Oh, that’s just an excuse, I’m doing everything right

WHO ELSE JUST REALIZED THEY HAD A TOXIC CHILDHOOD?!

My mom and stepdad are toxic and I’ve known this for a long time. I’ve distanced myself from them as much as I can, even though I still live in their house. It’s extremely hard every day but somehow I’m still here, fighting through it like many, many other people. I hope that anyone who can relate to me can heal and survive through these tough times.

The controlling their children with guilt and money part really resonated with me, it would explain why I struggle with asking for anything and why I’m distrustful of others, I’ve always wondered why I hate asking for things, I’m pretty messed up so it’s probably just one of the reasons why I’m like this. (Also I would like to add when I was half way through writing this my nose started pouring blood and I had to type the rest with a tissue in my nose and the taste of blood in my mouth 👍)

There's a shame around admitting that my parents were unintentionally toxic to me and my siblings. I recognise it now but to say it out aloud is being ungrateful and selfish. Even if I know they were wrong in treating me the wrong way as a child I can't say anything to them now. I don't want to be separated from them because I care about them, but now being in a relationship with my partner I realise how presence of a person who loves you unconditionally and helps you grow can mend your soul. I'm greatly thankful that finally I can trust someone with my craziest of thoughts and feelings and not be judged for it.

As someone who’s parents do all of these, sometimes on a daily basis, I knew they were toxic but I didn’t realize how bad it actually was. Wow.

I relate to this 100% . People used to tell me that it must have been hard living away from my parents, but the fact is it was such a relief. Never did i realized ive become one messed up adult who's struggling with my own identity, having anxiety, also tough to know when and who to apply personal boundaries. Its like living my life in a box

Yeehaw, my parents checked off everything here :D My life GREATLY improved when I distanced myself and stopped talking to them. No more constant criticism, guilt-tripping, silencing myself, stifling myself to make them happy. I was talking to an older co-worker my parents age about this and she was more understanding about my situation but the distancing made her uncomfortable. Because I am the only girl it's 'expected' for me to take care of them in their old age, and I could tell she had this great hope that we could make up if we just talked, that my parents would one day see what a lovely person I am and make this great 360 in the way they treated me. And I just gently changed the topic. I've gone through many 'just talk to me, I will listen to you' from my parents, and in the end nothing changes. I reach out, hoping something would change, maybe this time it'll be different--and I get shut down, blamed, dismissed--and if I respond with 'this is why I don't talk to you' they will automatically go 'and there you go again'. Yes, here we go again. I've reflected. And I refuse to reflect back any of the insecurity and anger you keep putting on me anymore. To be the perfect little scapegoat they can pin all their frustrations on. Enough was enough. I'm living for me.

8:05 this is my mom. She always barges in my room without knocking because she thinks that "youre still a teen what do you need privacy for?" and everytime i close my door to change she always opens it back not caring if i was changing just because "were both girls" its honestly annoying that she doesnt care for my privacy just because im not old enough and im the same gender as her. My brother gets privacy just because hes older and a boy( hes 17 three years older than me.) I honestly think that i should also have privacy like my brother without my mom caring about my age or my gender.

I used to be the toxic parent. I had to take accountability for my stuff because others disliked me. When I started healing myself, I started noticing where my toxic behavior came from. And the parents that gave us this trait have ethical denial and every trait you mentioned. So glad for this video!!!

Finally stopped trying & went no contact in Sept 2021 & started trauma therapy. It's a tough pill to swallow, being told by a mental health professional that your parents have all the traits of narcisstic personality disorder & so lack comprehension of the concepts of love & empathy, but it's been liberating too. Us kids of toxic parents were never the problem, we were just human projection screens for very unwell adult-toddlers.

My mom hits most of these traits. I have reached the point where I have lost all respect for her and just don't want anything to do with her anymore. I have tried to talk to her, I tried to tell her how what she has done and said to me hurt me only for her to flat out tell me that I'm wrong, threaten me, or make herself the victim. She does not support my dreams because she sees it as a waste of time and I'm not doing anything with my life. So now I pretty much hate her with everything in me, but she wants to talk about all these sacrifices she has made, she wants to throw her job as a parent at me and I can't take it anymore. Trust and believe she will never see me ever again when I'm gone (3 years until I graduate college).

It was tough to even listen to her explanation, because it reminded me of my childhood and the things I had to go through to just please everyone…..

"Parents are the ultimate role models for children. Every word, movement and action has an effect. No other person or outside force has a greater influence on a child than the parent - DeeDee

You are worthy, valuable and deserve to be loved, do not let your past define who you are, walk away from those people do not value you and bring negative energy to your life because you deserve the best. By walking away form those toxic people you are showing to the world how much you love yourself.

my life. Now I am adult and know what they have done to me, I let my parents suffer for it and I enjoy every moment of it. Well done parents.

I’m a 24 year old autistic adult now and I’ve experienced some of the things like silent treatment and criticism. It was painful and confusing growing up. Though my father does it more than my mother who screams at me for even the smallest things. They even blame others, even their kids (I.e. me and my brothers) this video showed me that, yes. My parents fit the descriptions of toxic parents. I’ve moved out of my mom’s home at 23 and my dad’s home a month ago because both home environments are just unhealthy and toxic. I’m doing better away from the toxic and stressful homes they’ve created with even their destructive habits like alcohol and smoking pot everyday. I planned to regain my confidence and be free from their control and live my life the way I’m supposed to. Videos like these should be seen by everyone who also struggle with toxic parents in even their adult years like me.

I always found it hilarious when my mom would kick me out for being "out of control". She'd insist that after living with my grandparents or my father for a while, I'd be begging to come back. Instead, after it turned out I was enjoying myself, she'd demand I be returned to her home.

I believe it's important to understand that parents don't have to be full-blown toxic to leave psychological or emotional scars. They can even believe themselves to be genuinely caring and loving, even doing good things for you, yet still exhibit toxic tendencies such as these. Number 9 hit particularly close for me. Numerous times, I'd be on the receiving end of harsh accusations for things I didn't even do. Even when I was proven to be in the right, there was no apology, no acknowledgement of ever being wrong. Also, parents can sometimes even compete with their children over stress, issues, and misfortunes. Almost every time I'd try to confide about my life's problems, they were immediately belittled because my parents always somehow had it worse. Then, people wonder why I have issues asking others for help.

My son is 14. We have a very open and hones relationship. I did notice that i have used the threat of returning expensive items that were gifts as a form of punishment or i have bought gifts, not realizing at the time, to create excitement in him towards me. I'm so grateful for these videos to help those understand these traits in others as well as themselves so we can all be better and have better relationships with our loved one's.

I just turned 35 and am still dealing with the effects of my toxic childhood. To anyone struggling, don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

I can not express how well timed this video is. I recently came to realize that my relationship with my mom isn't as healthy as a realized, and I relate REALLY hard to #2 and #9. It's nice to get that affirmation that my feelings aren't baseless, and it's definitely something I will be bringing up with my therapist next time I speak with them. Thank you. c':

“No healthy boundaries”, I felt that hard. 💀

it hurts because every characteristics of the toxic parents in the video remembers me of my mom and dad.

30 yrs old unmarried male here. I can relate to each and everything here happened to me in childhood done by my mom and dad. But I've tried to react with affection and love and care even for people who are not good to me. And I thank the universe who created me with a loving heart. Going forward, If I parent a child in future, I will give all my love and affection to them instilling them with positive and motivating behaviour even if they failed. I've learnt two things growing that we need to be both strong internally and soft externally and vice versa. This is good both for the parents and their children. It creates and strong and motivating environment leading to a happy life.

I feel bad for people with toxic parents I hope they’re able to break the chain of toxicity with their children if they ever have any. So I’m glad I have parents who care about me and don’t neglect my needs.

I relate to most of them, but the boundaries one hit hard. I'm 28 and I only started learning about boundaries and setting them up this year...

Both of my parents hit all ten. My father was a covert Narcissist and my mother overt. My whole adult life has been occupied healing from this. No Contact and skilled therapists have helped so much. It's difficult to heal when you're still being subjected to the abuse. Society has it very wrong when it comes to estrangement from parents. If your instinct tells you that you need to break away, trust yourself. You live with them. You know best.

Once I told my mom (when I was about 9-10) “I have been feeling really sad lately” she said “what you want to speak to a therapist?” I said “yes, please” I never spoke to that therapist Turns out I had the symptoms for depression in teens I found out I had these symptoms from no other than Psych2go I really want to say thank you, I am doing much better now and I still watch your videos and find them very interesting because they show me things that I may not have known otherwise about me and other people they also teach me how to deal with toxic people like my grandma 😩

Why is this so accurate. I’m kinda sad that I recognise all of this. I didn’t realise these were toxic traits I thought this was normal

Todoroki showing up made me laugh through the tears.

I never understood this until I married into it and I can see how deep-rooted these toxic tendencies go. It effected me for over 15 years and I was only a shell of myself and treated people poorly because I began to adopt the toxic habits. Having made the choice to go low/no contact, even the smallest encounters can still leave me feeling drained. I believe my husband was attracted to my (more) healthy family because we were everything is family wasn't. I can't tell you how many times I have heard "family is everything." My husband was the caretaker of his family for most of his life and he still doesn't know how to think for himself. It is sad to see potential squashed because parents are insecure. I realized that my own grandmother is/was toxic and I often felt bad for not wanting to spend time with her, but nothing is ever good enough and she usually gossips or complains.

As someone who just became an adult last November I can see a lot of this stuff within my own parents.

my parents love to say that the reason I am always upset and moody is because I'm a teenager, every time they say that I feel like they care about me less and less. I have mentioned that I feel depressed and want to see a therapist, but every time it's "you don't have depression, its because you're a teenager, it's the hormones" not only that but they love to compare me to other kids and criticize my work, this is why now I don't show them my test scores or drawings, even if it is a good mark or I'm proud of it I feel they always have something negative to say. my parents love to barge into my room and start talking to me about stuff that doesn't interest me or makes me feel bad,, and I'm so scared to talk back to them because I know I will get yelled at (i have a feeling this is where my fear of yelling came from). Also instead of apologizing they go on to explain why they were right. thanks to anybody that actually read this, I needed to get it off my chest😊

Wow. I came here to watch this for myself, as I’m a new parent and wanted to avoid being a bad mom. At the end I realized how toxic my own parents were to me…

It’s insane how I found a lot of things that is happening in my relationship with my parents. I indeed felt like my feelings weren’t justified with good reasons or that they were just not worth to be acknowledged . I just felt like I shouldn’t feel this way. However your channel really helped me to feel validated and at ease but also to understand more what’s going on with myself and with my familly. I understand better why I’m depressed and it really helps so tyvm for your content ❤

I'm so glad I came across this, I grew up with toxic people and I carried that into adulthood and even display some of that to my children. Now I have things to unlearn so I can raise better children.

My father meets a lot of these traits. My mother meets some too. I don’t have children, but I’ve noticed that I’ve developed some toxic behaviors in social situations as well. Most of my toxicity is directed at my family, but it’s emerged because I have a poor understanding of boundaries and am very insecure. I don’t have much of a sense of self at all. I’m trying to get better, but it’s a long road. I have to deal with a lot of wounds

Back then, whenever i tried to go against my mom about anything she'd immediately get very defensive and use everything she knew to go against my decision/opinion, even though i was just a kid. She was never willing to waste her energy or money with anything i wanted. She'd make me feel guilty about anything i did or didn't do, she'd shame me and compare me to my older brother, and sometimes force me into doing house chores to compensate. She didn't go as far as publicly humiliate, abuse or harm me physically, because that'd ruin her image as a "perfect independent mother". Now, she keeps trying to make me open up but it's only a matter of time until i can finally cut all relations with her. I just need to build a new, stable life somewhere else from zero.

I remember the time when I realized what they both had done to my life, and started to set my own boundaries. My mother then became more nice to me, buy me stuff, whatever she could so I'd be that stupid child of her again. She said sorry for the first time in my life, then started scolding at me and called me ungrateful, emotionless and every shittiest thing she could like she had always done. And that moment, I knew very well, people would never change, and so would I. I will never forgive those evils, every single thing they've said and done. They ruined my life, gave me social anxiety, panic attacks, depressions and so on. Despite the fact that they were being abused as a child, I didn't deserve to be treated like that. Trying to work my ass off so I could get out of this place and never looking back

If you searched for these videos and you are experiencing abuse, I hope you escape from these people and be healed soon. You are not alone. It is really hard dealing with them especially when they are supposed to be the closest people to you.

These characteristics are passed on from one generation to the next. This is known as Intergenerational Transmission of Stress. Your mission is to break it by becoming aware of it and seek professional help to prevent it from being passed on to the next generation.

The second one reminds me of a conversation I had with my mother just yesterday. I was so stressed bc I had to do something I wasn't ready to do that I started to cry, silently, so she wouldn't notice. But she found out by randomly coming into my room. When she made me explain why I was crying, she suddenly got mad at me and screamed at me, saying "there's war in the Ukraine and you're being dramatic over something like that?!". She proceeded to yell at me, that she would loose her patience if I didn't stop crying, which ofc made me cry even more. Then she gave me an ultimatum: If I wouldn't do the thing I had to do RIGHT NOW (it wasn't urgent at all), she would. It's hard to expain why without going into more detail that I don't know how to explain in English but I didn't want her to do it either, so I set out on my way, still crying and shaking, and in the end, my mom taking matters into her own hand was even counterproduktive. ik no one's gonna read this, I just had to get it off my chest somewhere.

Though I can relate to a lot of me, the one that hit me the hardest was the boundary one. I barely get any privacy, having to be in the same room with my parents because not many people and not enough money (in both houses). But when I ask to not touch me because I don't like it, or to show them something or "I have something to hide." Sure maybe I do, but that's because it's personal, and they judge me. But not respecting the boundary of being touched and then them saying "It's because it annoys you" then denying it and saying it's because I don't want their love is just the most worst feeling.

This is singular most important bit of counseling wisdom I've heard in a long time! Thank you Psych to Go. working on starting the counseling with a new case manager, I have to tell them about this video, and more importantly the situation that governed my childhood.

I was ‘raised’ by a pair of narccicistic monsters who systematically did whatever they could to damage and decimate my self-esteem. Both used blame, shame and criticism as weapons. I was a sensitive kid who was roundly mocked and humiliated by both of them. My ‘father’ favoured aggression, screaming and shouting, losing his temper over imagined slights, small mistakes and my inability to be what he wanted me to be. Thankfully he’s been dead for 20 something years and I’ve never missed him for a single second. My ‘mother’ who’s still hanging around has always been utterly dismissive of anything that’s important to me, uses guilt, recreational anxiety and self pity to get her own way and I only ever communicate with her out of obligation. They turned me into a mess, a target for other narcissists to pick me up, play around with me for a while and then discard me when they inevitably got bored of me. I’ve never been able to accurately communicate what I want or how I feel. It’s only since disentangling myself from a horror show of a marriage with a viciously manipulative, fake nice narc of villainous proportions that I’ve met someone who’s helped me to see the actual value in myself and slowly, but surely grow a self-esteem. I have a child who I’m determined to do right by, to validate and love on his own terms, because I will right the wrongs of my past. But at the same time, I will never be free of what my ‘parents’ did to me.

My late parents had their toxic moments, but still at the end of the day they loved me and my siblings.

Every single point that was made in this video described my mother... It feels so good to finally realize my gut feelings about her were always correct. Thank you for this video, it has helped me on my healing journey.

I was always told to control my anger. But when they got angry, they were allowed to act out and physically punish us. They always said, they do this because they love us. Make up, happy family. For a short while till it goes off again. And this has been effecting me for years where they turned me into them, then they hated what they created. Yet they blame me for everything. And say that they have trust issues with me. Yet they broke every single promise. Abandon me when I needed them the most. I now live with my partner who helped me heal, I no longer seek love or affection from either of them or family as they are all narcissistic.

i feel lucky to have my mom. she’s very kind and supporting and never forces her opinion on me

The thing is that maybe you have an argument / fight with them and the next day It's like it's never happend

I love the messages psych2go videos carry, it is possible to work on such issues and its true. As a child, I experienced every point mentioned in this video in varying degrees. I have been undergoing therapy for last 4 years. It has been a life changing experience.

Great intro. No self aggrandizing music or title graphics or previews, just straight to the point.

Yes I relate to the entire list. Again due to my childhood I was terrified to have children and I waited until my thirties to have my children.

Leaving my toxic family was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. At first it’s scary not knowing what to expect from the world but after a while, you realize not everyone is as toxic as your parents/family. A huge weight will be lifted after going no contact and even though I still suffer cptsd, I feels so much more safer and ok to tackle the world and live my life😊

It’s crazy how accurate this is. She names a toxic parenting trait that related to my parents and the aftermath/effects it has on the child perfectly align with my current struggles as an adult. It feels good to be understood. But the damage hurts so much…

By watching this video ive finally understand that my mother’s behavior wasn’t normal She’s so toxic and at the end of the day she says she does this for me She made me become a liar and depressed with anxiety Please to the future parents don’t ever do this you will destroy your kid’s life

It's actually really shocking for me how i always thought I am the problem,until I can see my parents fitting into every characteristics of not only this video but similar videos

everytime when my parents around me, i feel scared for no reason.

thank you for making this!

Both my parents, and all but two of my seven elder siblings, fall into this category. It has gotten to the point where I'm quietly disowning them one-by-one instead of calling them out on their toxic BS.

My parents are guilty of every single one, especially the guilt and victim one. They just don't understand how other people have feelings and that the whole world doesn't revolve around them. Only up until about 2 years ago have I realized this was considered "toxic" instead of just, normal. So in result I started to become more depressed and starting to challenge my parents on their logic. They are well know for "you play to many video games!" and "you find every pocket of time you can to play video games!" When none of that is true at all. It almost feels as it's eating away at me. Wait, you read this far? I'm surprised and honored that you cared about what I had to say (most people don't).

I've always struggled to talk to my parents about things I have dealt with. When I told my mom why I am like this, she told me, "You need to accept the fact that I won't sugarcoat things." I think what she says is fine but I still feel intimidated to open up to them about anything.

At first I didn't want to see this video, but I am glad I did. The majority of the the traits described is what I went through with my mother. Heck, when I was 12 I lost weight and I was developing nicely, so my mom began to see me as a threat for her because of the step-dad. I thank God that these last four years I had professional help to get me through my trauma.