How to Raise Successful Kids -- Without Over-Parenting | Julie Lythcott-Haims | TED

Подписаться 24 млн

Просмотров 3,8 млн

50% 1

By loading kids with high expectations and micromanaging their lives at every turn, parents aren't actually helping. At least, that's how Julie Lythcott-Haims sees it. With passion and wry humor, the former Dean of Freshmen at Stanford makes the case for parents to stop defining their children's success via grades and test scores. Instead, she says, they should focus on providing the oldest idea of all: unconditional love.
Whether you’re just launching your adult life or finally giving yourself permission to question assumptions about adulthood, learn practical strategies to build a future that fits you from Julie Lythcott-Haims. Enroll in her TED Course “How to become be your best adult self” today: tedtalks.social/3OmpymZ
Follow TED!
Twitter: / tedtalks
Instagram: / ted
Facebook: / ted
LinkedIn: / ted-conferences
TikTok: / tedtoks
The TED Talks channel features talks, performances and original series from the world's leading thinkers and doers. Subscribe to our channel for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design - plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit TED.com to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more.
TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution-Non Commercial-No Derivatives (or the CC BY - NC - ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy (www.ted.com/about/our-organiz.... For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at media-requests.ted.com

Опубликовано:

29 апр 2024

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 2,1 тыс.

@TED Год назад

Whether you’re just launching your adult life or finally giving yourself permission to question assumptions about adulthood, learn practical strategies to build a future that fits you from Julie Lythcott-Haims. Enroll in her TED Course “How to become be your best adult self” today: tedtalks.social/3OmpymZ

@tqsp258 7 месяцев назад

Like 😊 0:53 😊😊😊

@abhisheksnkr 7 месяцев назад

❤ Now I only trust kidzoot care services. It has changed my life anything like that. 😊This is also great content

@freweinikifli1662 6 месяцев назад

❤❤❤❤

@deejay824do 2 года назад

My father who passed away in August 28th, 2021, taught me to do chores at home. Laundry, dishwashing, cooking, house cleaning, taking care of my younger brothers. Now my wife is so happy she married me because I do our own chores without complaining, Thanks Pops. Miss you.

@sisandatsotsobe4043 2 года назад

1¹¹1¹¹¹q

@sisandatsotsobe4043 2 года назад

@doyinaguoru1385 2 года назад

So did my mom who also passed on on the 19th of August 2021... She taught me to be brisk, dexterous with all forms of domesticites. She placed the tenets of her profession in my hands. Love you greatly mom.

@stripat 2 года назад

Same here. My father passed away on 24th August, 2021. Miss him.

@emiliabadua4662 2 года назад

@@stripat Plpn by a

@princessesther7706 2 года назад

Lol I’m 14 and I’m already trying to figure out how to raise my future kids correctly😂I just see a lot of my friends suffering because of their parents and I’m like “nope, not gonna be me”. I plan on collecting knowledge throughout my teenage years so when the time comes I’ll hopefully be a good mom.

@pollypick2854 2 года назад

Woah! I’m 40 and I think you are amazing to even want to learn of the good informations on how to be a good mom! I’m sure you will raise happy successful kids 👍👍👍👍

@Leanneishere 2 года назад

Research Montessori parenting!

@Mira-gu6we 2 года назад

Thats great!!

@juliacruz 2 года назад

I was the same when I was a teen. Now, 35, don’t even have children. Just know everything is going to turn out just fine. And your future self has everything you need to be a good parent

@watts8749 2 года назад

Mee too I'm officially a teenager 15 yo same gathering more and More information to b great dad.

@abigailap-apid6513 2 года назад

My parents are farmers. My mom spent almost her entire life under sun and rain and wanting that her kids not end up like her. My dad was a small-village pastor who helped out in the farms whenever he could. They both understood the value of education,not just at home but in school as well. Discipline was important to them but they never failed to tell us and show us how much they loved us , even while disciplining us for our wrongdoings. But most importantly, even though they both never finished high school, they made sure to live by example in the things that they knew best: being compassionate, kind, loving and so on to any and every person. We're 12 children. The twelfth had just enrolled into university as a nursing student. They have raised 12 children who will forever be grateful for having them as parents.

@realmaureenoyakhilome Год назад

Im sure some of your siblings will still complain like many here. Parents these days can’t catch a break. It’s like people forget parents are humans with no prior experience In parenting and deep down most just want the best for us.

@dr.himagitonga886 Год назад

Beautiful

@naufalnoorizan1763 7 месяцев назад

On your second sentence, i almost started to tear up

@danielalveorodriguez7177 5 месяцев назад

How did they keep you out of trouble.

@skyeoliver7539 3 месяца назад

Absolutely Beautiful!😢

@vchafab 2 года назад

I told my daughter’s teacher that she will no longer be doing homework a few years ago. We now tell her new teacher every year the same. She thought I was kidding, but I wasn’t. She does chores, has horse riding, and family time, she is already in school 7 hours a day. And guess what, she scores the same as the other students but she is much, much happier. Our anxiety ridden 4th grader is now a confident bright young woman.

@ndutienn 2 года назад

This is powerful. Thanks for sharing

@ndutienn 2 года назад

This is powerful. Thanks for sharing

@ndutienn 2 года назад

@@rabiaali4302 Thanks. Noted and appreciated

@elionh4532 Год назад

Sounds like micro managing to me

@vGREENARROWv Год назад

@@elionh4532 nah

@arielgrushka Год назад

"Self-efficacy is built when one sees that one's actions leads to outcomes", I love that.

@glauciamsq 2 года назад

My parents used to be like that. Then, when I got into the perfecte degree in the perfect college, I had a breakdown that left me bedridden for a whole year. They realized what had happened and now they are being absolutely amazing, understanding and encouraging-but-not-overbearing parents to my little brother (and to me as well). I love them so much, and I respect and admire them so much for havig the courage of admitting their own shortcomings and to truly rethink their parenting style to become better for their kids ❤️

@Kiwipump47 3 месяца назад

Exact same story here. I got diagnosed with bipolar at the time. I had no opportunities in my country so I had to suck it up and get that stupid degree so I could leave my country and I did but it came with a huge cost to my mental health. When I finally made it to europe I had another mental breakdown. But I went back again a year later and finally made it here. Luck has it I ended up in a toxic work environment too coz when you are straight out of school your only option is to take whatever job you are offered coz you have no experience. Now I quit my job and am finally going in a direction that I am choosing and weirdly I have been working way harder than I did at work and obviously am way happier! Little brother was allowed to become a musician and honestly even though he isn't earning yet my parents aren't putting any pressure on him coz he is only 22 so they are giving him enough time to try until he is 25, then he may have to find a conventional job but that's already so good! He has been releasing songs marketing them, designing the cover etc which means digital marketing skills, photoshoot, graphic design, video and audio editing. You see where I am going with this haha, now he can get a "normal" job too in the worst case scenario because he gained those skills without going to school for it. He is still anxious though because he has a self imposed deadline too but I told him to not give up on it ever, if he gets a full time job he can work on his music part time, slow releases, slower progress is better than giving up.

@Venus.actor.singer 5 лет назад

I'm crying so hard my heart aches because I feel the pressures of the children from narcissistic parents who control their children "too much" and destroy their self confidence. This speech is a breakthrough. Thank you. I love this.

@charlesnkuubilwanga8051 2 года назад

You're a good person

@Venus.actor.singer 2 года назад

@@charlesnkuubilwanga8051 thank you

@ryanfoster8769 Год назад

Yes yes yes!

@happinesschepkemboi Год назад

I am a 25 year old female, who unfortunately grew up with such parents. I went to the best schools, I had food on my table, every "material" thing I needed, they provided. I don't complain, I am really appreciative and respect my parents. But later on in life, I realized they neglected something else, my emotional growth.( Probably they had no information about it, they just did what they knew) I came to understand my parents were toxic, controlling and damaging to my emotional being. I realized that I had all these receptors of fear, anxiety, self doubt and yearn for approval. I realized that growing up, I ended up raising my " emotional growth" on my own. I realized I ended up repressing every emotion that I felt because no one was receptive to what I felt. I realized that I was a sensitive and highly expressive child but every time I expressed how I felt, my emotions were blocked and perceived as weakness, meanness and seen as a difficult child. I realized that this helped my build confidence in order to protect myself. Every time any of my parents hurt me, I always felt the need to let them know I wasn't happy. Instead, they overly criticized me and termed it as disrespectful. I had to reparent my emotions myself. I had to make myself understand that even though I got all the material things that helped me in my growth, I knew I lacked something. That is why I intentionally am interested in learning everything I need to know to become a healthy parent and raise balanced children.( Emotionally, physically, spiritual, mentally) And to everyone reading this, it's not your fault that you were raised that way, I hope that you get to heal. And that you learn what you need to, and unlearn what you were exposed to and is unhealthy. And that you will be the best parents! Much love!!

@ridwanosman5644 6 месяцев назад

Thank you for sharing. I don’t know why, but I felt like you were talking about me.😂 And I get the vibe you gonna be a good parent. 👍 But for me every time I talk with my mother. I feel like I don’t wanna have any kids.

@happinesschepkemboi 6 месяцев назад

@@ridwanosman5644 Thank you,I would want to do better. I know how it feels, I totally understand

@leldejansone7645 6 месяцев назад

Wow you got all this at just 25, you are amazing! ❤ I'm 35, I've been on this "reparenting journey" for 10+ years now, and I'm still working extra hard just to maintain my emotions and relationships in a healthy way. I was raised to put school and diplomas 1st, and as soon as I finally left home and all that - all I wanted was love & happiness, with a family I make on my own. Wishing you all the best on your journey, you got this ❤

@elizabethhord9547 5 месяцев назад

You are very young but so wise already 😊 I have an 18 yr old that just dropped out if high school. I don’t know what to do. I’m a bad parent 😢

@user-wh8mo1nq2w 4 месяца назад

I'm crying over your comment

@adonuskirby9772 7 лет назад

very needed because some kids can't even talk to parents about things because they know how they're gonna react which is wrong

@kaitlynbrady3017 7 лет назад

The fact that people need to be told that their kids are their own people and not their parents' vanity projects is so sad.

@joceelee 7 лет назад

IMHO when I have observed parents behaving this way, it is because they are trying to provide their children with the opportunities they themselves were never given. Thus, they do not know how it is achieved. I'm not sure I understand what 'vanity project' means but just out of curiosity, you think parents do this solely for themselves?

@Xycopixie 6 лет назад

I agree. My mother is a tiger mom but she grew up in rural Jamaica and had to share shoes with her siblings- it comes from somewhere.

@beth8775 6 лет назад

SowMuchMore For a good deal of these parents, it can come from their own background, but you'd be surprised at the number of parents who really do disregard their child's autonomy, health, and life desires. Even when the motivation is just wanting your child to have a better life than you did, some parents still push way too far. They may not accept a perfectly good career choice like being an electrician, because they wanted a lawyer.

@frankmoser6251 5 лет назад

I KNOW this is OLD lol but I've been trying to tell everybody "traditional family values are killing our children" give a child a " name" you give them a "title" or reference to have an actual "stake" in life teach a child the importance of THEIR title ( NOT YOURS or YOUR parents) and you give them an "institution" as well as the first steps towards a "systematic" lifestyle in which they will witness the effects of THEIR own actions upon THEIR own name ( brand lol tm) and consequently it's success . Lol it's like teaching a man to fish lol

@jean-paul9928 3 года назад

Sometimes, parents get lost in their own journeys, their own pasts. And without realising it, these things are reflected onto their children's upbringings. Parents are also on a journey... and it isn't so sad to realise you could be treating your children differently!

@marghubhussain2943 Год назад

I think every parent must watch this video. We as a parent put so much pressure on our kids to be perfect in every thing that often, we forget that the pressure that we are inserting to our kids may cause of their anxiety and stress. According to most of the parents one who is good in academic only he/ she can become successful in life. Parents always forget to appreciate their kids work or at least effort that the kids put in carrying out any work, exam or even in household chores.

@jojey9841 Год назад

“We expect our kids to perform at a level of perfection we were never asked to perform at.” That hit different

@mjwatson4981 7 лет назад

I've been pushed by my parents to be good at everything. In school, in college, in relationship. I've been told how to work hard, how to be best and not afraid. I also got a lot of love and support. Nobody would be disappointed if I fail, but everybody will be happy if I win. I've been pushed all my teenage years to be better than majority of my friends... sounds bad I know. And you know what. I am 30 y.o. woman who has everything that makes her happy. Stability, job that I love, family, opportunity to grow ,travel all over the world, not worry about bills, broken cars , rents, finding job, saving money.... Yes, I'm not perfect , I'm human , and I don't want to be perfect... but I'm very thankful to my parents,who pushed me so hard through my teenage years bc It really benefitted my future life. it really did. There's no other way to get what you want in life except force yourself to go and do what you have to do . But when you're teenager , your parents are your forcing power. And nothing is wrong with that.

@hapiaz 6 лет назад

MJ Watson Your parents sound as if they mastered the art of balance. Never disappointed if you fail, but happy if you win. That's beautiful. I believe what this lady is talking about is parents selfishly projecting their personal desires onto their children. Parents should be stern with their children but that must accompanied with love and appreciation. Micro-management of every single element of their life is suffocating. There are a lot things that this woman is still not saying...i guess for the sake of saving time. But I'm a product of exactly what she's talking about. I think your parents got it right :-)

@786shakeel 6 лет назад

MJ you should be doing the talk. You said more in few word thank the lady in 14 mins!

@fathimashehlahaafiz3806 5 лет назад

MJ Watson same here

@Rr77184 5 лет назад

Love you sweetie for this piece u wrote... I love my daughter and prod her to get the best of education and be independent in life

@Mari_of_headspace 5 лет назад

Am absolutely agree with you, it true.....we can say that you are successful person now because of caring great love of your parents.... nowadays people doesn't understand it....most of us believe that kids has to given all dangerous freedom.....

@DaniHMcV 6 лет назад

My mother used my “successes” as her gauge to show approval and basic humanity. It was never enough for her to show love, only maybe enough to prevent the threats of leaving or avoid hearing that I was a complete failure. Take it from me, don’t push your children towards your goals; it only teaches them that they aren’t good enough to make it on their own. I was “successful” in school and was the first in my family to get a degree, but I was also the most miserable, sad child of all 10 of us kids. Is that success? I know it isn’t.

@rehannadsamara7342 5 лет назад

I am so sorry to hear this, l hope you got over it as an adult, and found out that real worth comes from inside you.You deserve love for who you are.

@redflower6020 2 года назад

I'm sorry you had to go through that ♥️♥️♥️♥️

@vkrgfan 2 года назад

I’m sorry she sounds like a Narcissist.

@joshuachandronet182 Год назад

Therapy will teach you the skills needed to get through this trauma. I wish you the best.

@jimj2683 Год назад

You were miserable because you got an education? Get a grip! You are lucky. I am 42 with no education and let me tell you this: Behind my fake smile I am miserable because of lack of status and money.

@leahntuala504 4 года назад

My Mother, Jo Ann Mason, used to say that LOVE (which needs to be unconditional) + Expectations (which differ per person, because each person is different) + Limits (which don't change, people need boundaries) = a healthy start to a good human being

@officialraemusic 3 года назад

I like that formula 💯

@anasti555 Год назад

Absolutely!

@paakwesi1094 Год назад

I'm pretty proud of myself after listening to her because I just realized I practice most of what she is saying with my kids.

@miwanabanana 5 лет назад

My sister wants to be a doctor and is stressing out over getting into Stanford. I asked her how many doctors has she actually been to/seen that graduated from Stanford or even Harvard or even Johns Hopkins? ZERO. She can get a medical degree from anywhere and she'll be okay. We need to chill the F out.

@thisisad4756 3 года назад

Wish I had a mother like her :'(

@katierojas8066 2 года назад

Word

@vkrgfan 2 года назад

Just because they got a degree from Stanford doesn’t necessarily mean they are the best at what they do. Usually kids that excel in general knowledge get there, because of endless tutoring, reading and math. However, as I said it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ve got what it takes to be a good doctor.

@mrs.t3822 6 лет назад

This year I told my kids we are letting the pressure off. In an attempt to make children the best we are creating a generation of neurotics. I’m learning to hear what my children need from them. It’s ok if kids are not the best at everything but they should be the best version of themselves. Children need more time with parents. It’s the simple things that touch them, take a walk and just listen to them. Tell jokes and laugh together. Hug them everyday. The most important thing is to pray and ask God to guide you in raising them.🙏

@tatafaderica7215 4 года назад

amen

@gwenpierson7340 2 года назад

Amen amen

@StephanieTips 2 года назад

It's shocking that parents need to be told this

@mrs.t3822 2 года назад

@@StephanieTips I hear you, but when we don’t seek God, and we’re left to our own devices, we should not be shocked at the depth of depravity of man.

@elizabeththibault8141 2 года назад

Very well-said!

@JohnDoe-mb2gz 4 года назад

Absolutely beautiful! Her enthusiasm is addictive and her speech is exactly what we, as parents, should listen to! Let your children become their best version! And chill sometimes :) Enjoy your miracles and enjoy your time together! Lots of love to everyone from a mother of 6!

@djfenn3406 4 года назад

I guess I owe my Mom another Thank You, but this time it will be for raising us to be well rounded and with a mindset to help and make something better than the way we received/ borrowed it. ~Shout out to my Mom~

@MakingCHAMPS 7 лет назад

Wonderful talk by Julie. Parents just need to understand that raising happy kids is much more important than raising so called successful kids.

@jshipp6756 5 лет назад

I think it depends on how you define success. If based on materialism and ego, no. I say successful ppl are always looking for ways to help other ppl. I like to emphasize character building, integrity, honesty, compassion, etc.

@patjohnson4732 5 лет назад

J Shipp .. .

@hoa7794 Год назад

So true!

@elijahpedroza9347 7 лет назад

I wish I saw this video before taking multiple AP classes, becoming club officers, joining sports, volunteering at my church, and spending hours of my day doing homework in a bedroom. It's very nice to say that I have these "accolades," but I can't remember the last time I had fun outside of an event that can be written on my brag sheet. Her talk was wonderful and quite applicable to my life as a high school student, however it wasn't really my parents who created these standards, but rather my own interpretations of societal expectations. I hope that one day I will have transformed my checklist into a motivation for success.

@lucky179009 3 года назад

So, how did you go Elijah?

@thisisad4756 3 года назад

Wish I had a mother like her :'(

@nenmaster5218 2 года назад

Buy youre Kids Minecraft, friends. Do it. And many Books; also Classics. Dont fall into the Trap to think Books 'get old and irrelevant'. Thats not how it works. The old Sherlock Holmes Books are still as they were: Masterpieces, engaging, good.

@Goldendoodlesforever12 2 года назад

Yeah, but you are so much ahead of everyone else so you will have better opportunities and power. Just my two cents..

@babiennerajkumar2862 4 года назад

I have walked the corridors of University taught kids adults to walk the same way...you are right Julie we made them nerds defining their success through grades and scores ...you said it right unconditional love should be our focus thank you for a brilliant narrative of what success means

@yyu8327 7 месяцев назад

She's delivering her speech like spoken word poetry. Amazing job!

@lindasamuels5822 7 лет назад

acknowledge your own failures and don't try to life through your child.

@EBad-ko8zy 6 лет назад

Linda Samuels could you call #@!* at 000-000-0000 and restate that please in more detail...😐😁😄 we need a chat room a blog something just for those women.

@jodismith8109 6 лет назад

Linda Samuels and she said that's she's

@josephsamarrippas4819 5 лет назад

Do you know where I could find help on carrying others parenting burdens?

@glynnaschmehl200 5 лет назад

Shouldn't it be your duty to stop the cycle of dysfunction ?

@thisisad4756 3 года назад

Wish I had a mother like her :'(

@ConradOPrice 7 лет назад

How to raise a successful kid without over parenting? Make sure they understand that life isn't about high grades and a big bank account. Make sure they understand to grow up kind and compassionate, happy and making others happy.

@samimas4343 7 лет назад

true that

@lovingboarding 7 лет назад

Compassionate? But only towards people please.

@sarakayeenlim 7 лет назад

agreed 👍

@m00ler29 7 лет назад

well, YOUR life is about grades and money... ;)

@elaineredy8937 7 лет назад

amen!

@leldejansone7645 6 месяцев назад

Raised "school smart" and "life stupid" was my experience, that and the resulting adult I was for about a decade after left me with a lot of scars. Education is great, but a healthy human being needs that unconditional love, those acts of kindness between people, and those opportunities to grow own resilience in all aspects of life. It's that balance between "let kids be kids" and "children are people too", meaning care and protect, yes, but let them think, do and figure stuff out for themselves too! That's what I've come to believe, anyway.

@salemdrones4907 2 года назад

Our children need to know that we love them whether or not they achieve or abide by societal standards. This is, by far, the best speech I've ever seen on Ted.

@ev3488 Год назад

Exactly

@neidamaldonadoperez2106 6 лет назад

The best parenting talk I've heard about parenting and the vital importance of having kids to do chores!

@jshipp6756 5 лет назад

Yes, chores help build character. Put those cell phones down and lets listen to our kids

@user-zy4xk2zl5l 5 лет назад

That's an amazing concept to think about. It builds discipline and prepares children to become well - organized, industrious young men and women of society. That's why it's said that there must be a balance between mental exercise and physical exercise.

@kirkcarranza603 3 года назад

You look the girl sitting the first clip of the audience “ its your twin “ 🤔😯🤭

@ekennahutchinson1636 3 года назад

My mum made Ratio Acedemy which is about motivation families to spend time together by doing activities

@mmmirei 3 года назад

I hate chores as much as the next teenager, but at least I know how to do dishes, right? Lol

@lmo1389 6 лет назад

We are imperfect people trying to raise perfect children. Go figure.

@tbailey670 6 лет назад

L Mo I try to tell my hubby that all the time! I tell him to look back at his life then you can understand our son's lives! I remind him that he made plenty of mistakes, and don't forget it!

@SdmAngeL 5 лет назад

How true !

@fathimashehlahaafiz3806 5 лет назад

L Mo true

@frankmoser6251 5 лет назад

People(EVERYONE) are eventually confronted with an inevitable TRUTH ( even though it's really not true lol) that THEY have somehow "failed" at being the BEST possible version of what they COULD have been and everyone( ALL who procreate intentionally lol) hopes their child will actually be ( perfection lol) at least a better version or "representation" of THEM hence the reason you see a LOT of parents actually "living through" their children lol and it is actually quite a sad and SORRY sight to see lol

@Givenphy 4 года назад

It's all start with straightening the Male seamen! Video children and Immorality ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-F-OaIWX-vls.html

@rlhspace 2 года назад

I appreciate this. I homeschool and at times I feel like I'm not pushing them enough, but then we will go out, and they will quickly have thier way of letting me know, they have been learning and paying attention with and without my assistance. Balance is very important with the kiddos.

@tomoclubedu Год назад

You're right, Balance is very important for them. There is no school equal to a decent home and no teacher equal to a virtuous parent. We host webinars on such topics, we also host game sessions for kids & educators and we provide SEL related games for kids! 🚀✅

@ClassicalKaren Год назад

I went to one of the best high schools in my state that I competed to get into. I tried so dang hard to be the perfect student. I only slept about 4 hours a night and still I did not get the grades I wanted. Often I felt I deserved to die for not being perfect. I once said to my middle school teacher causally "what's the point of living if I'm going to fail" and she turned me into the school social worker who then made me go to the emergency room. All my teachers acting scandalized as if there was something wrong with me instead of asking what was wrong with all this pressure. I graduated middle school in 2008 and high school in 2012 btw.

@bobdabuilder3291 7 лет назад

I would show this to my parents but they would just ask why I'm not doing homework....

@jonambriz1348 7 лет назад

Lol

@sreshthanayek8363 7 лет назад

Bob daBuilder You can try though. They might just agree like you :)

@MrDdramire 6 лет назад

😂dying

@realdeal7074 6 лет назад

Good one

@neolu6583 6 лет назад

Bob daBuilder parents want you to focus on education... life isn't about high grades

@umtimo6854 7 лет назад

l honestly think that we , adults, are victims of bad parenting. What's worse is that we are repeating history on our offspring!

@jshipp6756 5 лет назад

Many of us grew up in dysfunctional homes and don't know how to parent. It wasnt until I started reading books by Christain authors, listening to radio programs and being influenced by godly ppl that I began to have a different mind set.

@journeyofselfdiscovery-war2705 5 лет назад

You are sooo right!

@frankmoser6251 5 лет назад

Traditional family "values" are what KEEP children(ANY of them) at a disadvantage and is like a song on repeat mode HERE in the USA lol If I had learned to actually value and market MY NAME instead of always being afraid of bringing "harm" or dishonor upon MY FATHERS name then MAYBE I would have NOT ONLY been successful at an earlier age but could have known how to handle it later in life as well as seeing the repercussions of MY actions to MY NAME( and OBVIOUS success) and WOULD have had a HUGE advantage over ALL those other kids that said "well I wasn't raised THAT way" or "MY family NEVER believed in THAT" etc etc lol

@ricgomez1 4 года назад

You're comment IS a result of bad parenting, you obviously are taking no accountability for your own actions. At what age are you gonna stop blaming your parents for your behavior? You're a mess

@unohu7178 3 года назад

J Shipp can you recommend me those books and authors

@charlzwill495 4 года назад

Love this message... I already knew this because my mom always shown me love and told me i can be anything now as a mother i just have to keep on doing the same thing to my children

@tomoclubedu Год назад

😍❤️

@malakjammal3306 9 месяцев назад

I’ve had this in my watch later for years and just watched it right now. I made a poem in high school a few years ago about this topic. My teachers used to say and continue to say that you’re going to be nothing but a number in university, at your job, and in the future in general. So many of my friends who were phenomenal people and smart and talented developed anxiety and suffered with their mental health because so much pressure was put on students at a young age and we constantly feel like if we mess up in high school that’ll affect any career opportunities in the future and ultimately the rest of your life. Now in university, burnout is so prevalent and perfection is the standard that we hold ourselves to because of our need for academic and career-based validation.

@krissy3549 7 лет назад

I wish I would have heard about this when I was in school. I never thought of community college as good enough when it was perfectly fine.

@29stmarksrd 3 года назад

It’s so sad that even today it is still a stigma to attend community college. My husband and I my met while attending community college. We got married, transferred to a state university, graduated, worked, raised children, retired and are running a business. Sadly, many have fallen into this mindset.

@cantrix5728 2 года назад

Same.

@shaguftayasmeen3361 2 года назад

@@29stmarksrd r 3

@christyr6201 7 лет назад

Honestly as someone who has a masters degree and college debt I won't push my child to go to college. I will encourage him to be a good person but to focus on something he loves that he can make a lot of money. Lol

@elaineredy8937 7 лет назад

lol...TRUTH

@TheFrygar 7 лет назад

Yep, just keep in mind that sometimes a child will love something that requires a degree - like maybe he wants to be a biochemist or a philosopher. So just make sure he understands the cost and how to lessen it with scholarships, grants, good summer jobs, etc. Like you said - lots of kids don't realize how much money is important even when they do something they love. Spot on.

@Sakhmeov 7 лет назад

Which is why I'm writing this, this way. Even today, I can't really _feel_ things that way, so much as _think_ about them and infer what I would be experiencing, if I weren't such a zombie. And I am still making many of the same mistakes; deferring, hesitating, putting aside my own well-being and wearing myself down. It's just that it doesn't grate at me anymore, because I'm already worn down to a nub. And my uncle can tell you what happens when I access what little reservoir I have left; either I go to pieces, or other things and people do. I get by, some way or other. When I can't put in more effort, I put my mind to things, and I trick my way through instead. Hopefully, that's going to end soon, as I'm heading back into education, with money and agency of my own under my belt. And whatever bullshit I need to spout or hack I need to quote to get a degree that will make people respect me, I'll do it. And then I'll get out of this socialist hellhole, and never call anyone from my past back again. Yeah, I know, it's the most tired old cliché in the book. "Floor one: Blame your parents; Floor two: Blame society..." But all those of us who have ever felt guilt or desperation or despair at all the potential squandered, at not being able to do anything about it, get kind of angry when you use schoolyard refutations to try to redirect the blame. I see numbers of youth unemployment go up precipitously, and I've met enough people from broken homes whose stories resonate with parts of mine. And it seems it's always somewhat similar; the "love" and the usual components of the social contract were there, but there was no follow-through. It's that Squash wall all over. Just a surface, with no actual rapport. If you're saying that this isn't a systemic problem, but merely a psychological and personal one, you're probably fooling yourself. It's way more complex than that. It's got to be. And we all have our theories why, which bear speculation. But what is clear is that we are raising a generation that apparently will have a lot less financial and personal "buoyancy" than ever before. And for all the people kind of like me out there, it doesn't seem like "love" or "thinking of the children" or any other feelgood facet is what's missing. Rather, it seems it's the underlying things that are supposed to come with it. _Tough_ love, when required. And sacrifice and discomfort, when _that_ is required. In retrospect, I would gladly have suffered my father beating me to set me straight, if only he hadn't built that fucking house. But the "40 Not Out"-generation? The feelgood, feminist, job perk, lend-and-spend generation that are the parents of today's failures? They didn't do that. And the educational and financial systems helped them. And this spirit of "It'll all turn out okay; just don't think too hard" hasn't gone away; it's only gotten worse. It's not just "talk" that's required; that often just leads you to deluding yourself into thinking you're helping, when in fact you might be doing the very opposite. No, what's required is a reality check. And because I don't want anyone to have to suffer through what I did, I say it can't come hard and fast enough. If you've gotten through all that BS, I'll say I'm impressed, and thank you. Now, go out and actually _do_ something.

@georgemcfly3482 6 лет назад

Christy R Thats stupid advice

@Hellowhatup98 6 лет назад

what do we do ??

@qinzhou68 4 года назад

I had laughs and tears along the way when saw this great speech, as a parent to a teen, lots of the information matched what I've done or the other parents have done to the kids. I think it's the critical time to have a reflection and change our way of parenting, thanks for the great tips been given, love and chores, I totally agree!

@adithyakrishnarajac5959 2 года назад

A heartfelt and a powerful speech from one of the best orators I have ever heard. 6:00 hitting the nail right on its head for most Indian and Asian kids. The concept of self-efficacy has to be preached.

@salma_Nella22 7 месяцев назад

Yeah but aren’t most Asians successful because of how much they care about their education?

@LilianaKali 7 лет назад

I started tearing up. It's good to see a parent acknowledge they screwed up and are coming to understand that their kids are people and not projects they can live vicariously through. I'm fortunate enough to even have parents who have "checklists" for me. What about the ones who don't have parents? Or the ones who don't want to fix their relationship with their parents because they don't listen and we would feel safer and happier away from them? How do we empower ourselves when we don't trust the adults in our lives to provide models for the human attachments you are lauding? What do we do? Sorry, I've got issues and I'm projecting. This is a very good step in the right direction, so thank you.

@JasonLovesLife 7 лет назад

Great talk. It is hard sometimes keeping kids safe while not over parenting. I don't care what my kid does in the future as long as they are able to survive on their own while enjoying life.

@vkrgfan 2 года назад

Exactly! Many parents struggling to put the food on the table, they have no luxury to live by “ do what you love” Do what you love doesn’t always pay your bills.

@elliepena7181 2 года назад

Especially in today's world.

@seonhwa2262 2 года назад

as a teenager, i cried a bit because she explained what we're feeling so well

@seyramagudu5237 Год назад

Exact same. I feel like I'm under so much pressure to hold to a certain standard even as school gets harder and busier. I'm not superhuman. I cannot.

@irynatyshko9156 10 месяцев назад

Trust me, adults nowadays feel the same. You must excel in your profession otherwise you’ll end in the bottom of food chain. And if you’re to change what you do for living, you must be the best from start. And you must be a good parent, good friend, good housekeeper, good community member… and all of that while staying sane 😕

@dontran391 Год назад

Hardest part of being a parent is making your children be better people of society. Such as how to be kind people BUT at a same time not to be taken advantage by abusive jerk people. Another one: how not to spoiled your children, but at the same time, how to let your children enjoy life once in a while after a hard work of the day. A parents' dream: to have their children grow up to be good people of society in making society better for the next generations.

@torrieredding6050 7 лет назад

I've watched this several times she very much speaks to my parenting style. I have always thought I'm raising someone's mother, someone's friend, someone's wife and husband

@efledariggan4696 7 лет назад

I am right there! I laughed so hard! Very refreshing to be reminded that our kids need us to be interested in lunch, smile at them, encourage them to take ownership of their own futures! I know I have over parented my teen. Always looking at what he could do better and not celebrating his amazing success. I needed this vibrant and humorous reminder.

@Lee1Min-Ji Год назад

“They need to know they matter to us as humans” That is the one thing we need to hold in our minds as we engage anyone in our orbit. 😊

@diytv 2 года назад

Free play and independent exploration are so important in helping children grow up to feel secure and capable. It's so much more important than any lesson a kid could learn in a classroom.

@danielaochoa4556 5 лет назад

Love & chores! Is funny how we get to improve at this as we try to pass it on, even if our parents haven't mastered it, or chores weren't simply part of their upbringing.

@CoffeePoints 7 лет назад

I wonder if she's ever done any slam poetry

@simaydavi5689 2 года назад

If you play it at 1.5x, she actually does.

@vkrgfan 2 года назад

Or a preacher, gave me a church vibe a little bit.

@katierojas8066 2 года назад

😵 I’m dead. So funny. She would be good at it.

@mediatekk 2 года назад

I feel so good watching this talk because I have been doing this with my 9 year old. Making sure she knows that the outcome of her efforts is hers, that chores, being kind, being strong, feeling capable, figuring out what makes you happy, are all just as important as good grades. There is no handbook on being a parent and at times, I find myself questioning how I am doing. What grade would I get for parenting? If there were such a thing? This was a great talk. Thank you so much for sharing it.

@tomoclubedu Год назад

We agree, good grades are not always important but having a good mindset does. Kids should be in a comfortable & safe space to do any activities. Check us out for SEL(social emotional learning) related games, we also host webinars and game sessions for kids and as well as parents. 🚀

@pankajbhauryal6010 6 месяцев назад

Thankyou so much for being here

@shanenicole9552 5 лет назад

Wow!! That was such a great ted talk!! I appreciate my mom giving me a childhood of love and chores. The school system always pressured me that going to college is success, but my mom loving told me to do what I want to do. I did one year of college, decided to work, ended up in Walmart first-and grew amazing relationships and experiences that have taught me and grew me. After getting married and moving to the city I found it was time to move to a new job but I wanted it to be something meaningful and now I’m a caregiver and LOVE it!!! I’m glad my mom told me to always follow what I WANT, and it stuck with me.

@TheOriginalComments 7 лет назад

Sometimes someone just has to say it, and this was so beautifully said!

@nicolew9100 6 лет назад

Thank you! I needed to here this. I am obsessed with grades! My daughter says I am mean!! So I will take this advice .😊😊

@savvy777333 5 лет назад

watch out with obsession with grades. This is usually the time where great depression and sadness can lead to suicide attempts. Focus on the interior (self worth, loving themselves) instead of the exterior (grades and universities).

@Never_again_against_anyone 5 лет назад

There is nothing wrong with caring about grades. But when they are not good you also have to consider whether your child once was too lazy, a teacher is grading harsh (and the not perfect grade is very good though) or if your kid just cannot do better (None of us is talented in everything.) Only after asking ypurself that react.

@811MainPage 4 года назад

@@Never_again_against_anyone There is a lot of nonsense out here in youtube... But then there are some very wise people out here willing to humbly share some A+ advice... What thoughtful guidance you offer us. It is very straight forward, but it can be very helpful to have an idea laid out on the table in plain simple fashion. Thanks, from a floundering mom finding her way.

@michaelmiller1561 4 года назад

Hey if you are looking for something for your daughter to do check out Tiger Claw Karate Dojo on youtube. Its free

@syedfawwad2096 3 года назад

Reading really scares my little princess at the beginning as she might make errors. I used this reading guideline *4ChildrenReading. Com* for two months and later discovered that she is already reading beginner novels by herself! We`re very impressed with the outcomes! The program is great for any age limit.?

@mayatheasker4615 Год назад

I'm sure everyone can feel her incredibly amazing enthusiasm LOVE her so muchhh

@lisarobinson3521 4 года назад

I wish this was mandatory 2 watch before a kid is born. This is deep; I wish I'd seen this years ago!! She's awesome with this delivery & info!

@RileyOConnorOfficial 7 лет назад

Wow, I can relate to a lot of this. This is one of the better talks in recent memory in my opinion (though I am partial to the hard science subjects). Thanks, Julie! My one bit of anecdotal evidence to add is that a lot of pressure can come from within and from external pressures, as well.

@sussekind9717 7 лет назад

now normally I'm not a big fan of the TED Talks. every now and again one comes along that's alright and every once in a great while one comes along that's really good. this one was really good

@jannatnatsheh8234 4 года назад

I have to write an essay about the socialisation of children, and this helped me a lot, thank you so much 💝

@Travis-larsen 5 лет назад

Love it. Shared it to my kid's mom. she's a micromanager, and i'd like to see that change. They should manage themselves.

@samimas4343 7 лет назад

+ for the content and another + for the performance of this amazing and enthusiastic individual

@elaineredy8937 7 лет назад

👏👏👏

@k_harmony8430 6 лет назад

This may very well be MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE VIDEO ON RU-vid!!! Thank you THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

@ruthadodo3207 9 месяцев назад

This is one of the best TED talks I've ever watched. Thank you so much ma'am. I really appreciate that you've spoken to us about this.

@richhooker1263 5 лет назад

Thank you as always for sharing! I will watch any Ted talk show. Have never been let down. Each and every talk I watch, is great.

@NaturallyNerdeeNicol 7 лет назад

at this point I am teaching mine to find their passion. Finding their passion will lead them to their purpose. If you make a career out of your passion then you aren't every really going work....

@joannabrown2366 5 лет назад

Most people don't have a passion, only a lucky few. Or we can have many passions. Also, even when you're passionate about your job, it can suck a lot of the time. I think kids need to learn work ethics, that work can be boring, but we have to do our best anyway. The important thing is that working makes us feel good about ourselves, for whatever reason (feeling competent, gratification, money, helping others, passion...). In my opinion.

@marybethgill110 4 года назад

@@joannabrown2366 having a passion for something as a foundation, plus a strong work ethic to get through the actual grit, you are very lucky. The speaker focused a lot on chores (and love). These are good foundations for a strong work ethic and finding direction.

@GiGi-gc2mm 6 лет назад

This brought me to tears very powerful. I am glad I watched it.

@cynthiaholland6899 4 года назад

Good gracious, mother of 4, first one headed to college. I needed to hear this.

@amritapuntambekar386 9 месяцев назад

Very very well articulated. I have heard so many people on the same philosophy, but this lady is flawless in her expression!

@renatobritto4096 7 лет назад

What a great talk, this should be more widespred.

@samarc4467 2 года назад

I know underparenting & leaving them alone casually, is also a recipe for disaster. It's like some people I grew up with - have become so resistant to learning.

@letsrockca1611 Год назад

This was an amazing talk...Now I came to understand that the same things are faced by all the kids over the world as I am an Indian most of the time me and my friends thought that Indian parents are the only ones who wanna their children to be perfect ..... Social media has really changed mindset of people nowadays

@vanessal9931 Год назад

The scary thing about all she's saying is that we often don't realize we're doing it. It took a while to realize the anxiety I felt when my child's grades dropped were the result of believing they were a reflection on my own (perceived) failures. I wasn't there enough, I didn't help enough, I didn't take enough omega-3s when I was pregnant, and on and on. When I finally let go a little, my child was so proud of her acheivements and not so hard on herself. Kind of broke my heart to see the pressure I was putting on her. We can guide but ultimately it's their life and they're the ones who have to live it.

@thehappinessblog Год назад

Vanessa, it is awesome that you had that realization, and that you made positive changes in your life! We as parents do not understand the responsibility properly, and how her actions/words affect our children at such a high level! Personally, I recognize now that many of my difficulties/ challenges in my life were because of the way my parents treated me, and acted around me. I am now trying to break the cycle!

@kilIlmydoubt 3 года назад

this ted talk honestly made me cry. my issue is that i don’t think my parents have created that “checklisted” life for me, i think it was my own doing. i’ve been in honors and accelerated classes from the time i was a third grader. early on i learned to make my own checklist, to regulate what i was doing everyday, and my parents partially contributed to that. but i thought that their support of this lifestyle meant it was right, and i’m now a junior in high school that has collapsed under the pressure. the past three months have been the biggest educational downfall of my life, and i think it’s like what you said. i’m burned out, i’m tired, i’m anxious, i’m depressed. i have no sense of purpose anymore and i don’t do the work unless a teacher emails or calls and my parents yell at me to do it. they don’t understand that everything i’ve believed my entire life has come crashing down on me and i’m so burnt out. i always used to believe everything in school had to be perfect for college, and i couldn’t really accept it when i had to drop an ap class in sophomore year. i’ve had struggles with mental health for a few years now, and in freshman year one of my friends reported me and my only concern was that it would show up on my record and colleges wouldn’t want a “messed up” kid. this ted talk has helped me realized that i can’t be perfect, i just need to try my best. build myself back up. that’s what i’m trying to do, anyway. thank you for this. to other struggling kids out there: it will get better. please don’t let a checklist define your life, i promise it’s not worth it. to parents out there who are supporting a checklisted life or have instituted it: please have a conversation with your child. don’t let them disregard their own mental health for good grades. at some point they will be burned out too, and you shouldn’t let them get to that point before you realize how much they are hurting. i’ve been hurting for a long time, and getting good grades does not help the pain go away. it only makes it worse. it makes you believe that the pain is necessary in order to get good grades. it’s not. thank you for this ted talk ❤️

@bestoffers283 3 года назад

Do you LOVE your kids? well, If you want your child to turn out well and smart, this is your opportunity to learn on the importance of making sure your Kiddo is able to read at an early age and why reading to them on a regular basis is so important according to Psychology. Find out in the links bellow two new methods proven 100% effective, share with your friends & families if you don't have Kiddos yet!! Good Luck!!

@Hihi-fd9hr Год назад

You are exceptionally brilliant and thoughtful! 'It makes u believe that the pain is necessary in order to get good grades'.. that is one full TED talk for me! I know u r way better than u have ever been. Thank you for sharing the wonderful insights and Love from Ethiopia.

@fz7020 6 лет назад

My son asked me one day.... Mum you love me ...? I was like of course! He asked...then why do you send me to school?!😀

@Mood_dairy 5 лет назад

f Z LoL

@mrs.hanaahmed5394 5 лет назад

Looool

@goodflowh 5 лет назад

Kids these days are so smart.

@AnnaMaledonPictureBookAuthor 5 лет назад

Kids! My 3-year-old son said a while ago: If we lifted your hair, we could see your brain in there... He said the same about pulling my eyes out. ( He doesn't watch any nasty cartoons or movies, in case you are wondering ). Before my older son started school I was preparing myself mentally for homeschooling, just in case he absolutely hated school, but luckily he is ok with school, for now anyway, he's only 6.

@greatexpectations9446 5 лет назад

😂😂

@greencagar1355 4 года назад

Wonderful woman and excellent mother. She enlightened us in different angle to what it means to be a good, understanding and loving parents. Thank you madam.

@candaceseitz7689 Год назад

I have 3 kids and this brought me to tears. Having kids doesn't come with instructions it's really difficult. Hardest job I've ever had but i wouldn't trade it for nothing. I've made mistakes with them but I know I'm know I'm doing my best and after this I'm gonna keep doing my best

@MrCouchbleh 7 лет назад

Jesus holy christ, this might be the most important talk anyone's ever given. This is the only TED talk that's ever made me cry. This should be mandatory for every parent, forever.

@joex1084 4 года назад

When you are happy, youself and confident in your abilities, you will probably find an occupation that resonates with you. Makes you happy, resonates with your personality and makes you more confident in yourself and your abilities, because it is the thing you can do best. That is how success will form, not only as a career, but also as a happy led life.

@oluf7702 5 лет назад

Wow! this is beautiful. Through loving them the way they are even when they fail, they become a well rounded human being. My son when he was 2 years away from applying for University will study with his ear piece in his ears on his bed. Started behaving rebelliously and I told him that from experience that I do not see him passing that year. He kept saying Mum I know what I am doing, though not a genius he never failed before. Lo and behold he failed that year, he monitored the mails and made sure he got his result before we saw it and destroyed it. Above all he was disappointed at himself he nearly found it difficult to forgive himself. But my words to him were failure is part of life when we fail we just have to learn from it and move on. From that time we never tell him to study anymore, all we did was to support and encourage him. No one is perfect but unconditional love is the way forward.

@lytran-bq7zo 2 года назад

After watching this presentation of Ms. Julie, all of my stress disappears. Thanks Ms. Julie

@WanderingPoppy 7 лет назад

Love love love the wildflower analogy!!

@user-wp5cq2rb2f 7 лет назад

good lecture~It's more serious in Korea... poor kids

@faithbwire9164 5 лет назад

Anneong haseyo hope it will improve its starts with you

@rachel14rod 3 года назад

@@faithbwire9164 understand culture in Asia.

@mitapristiani6615 5 лет назад

I dont know why.. but I cried along this speech.. she got a very amazing delivery and messages. Stop treating your child as one of your checklisted achievement

@aisyahmulyanti6885 Год назад

This video is very useful for parents who are too pushy on their children. It is true that it is said, that success is not always achieved with high scores, many awards, but with good habits and of course with one's own will. because if you do everything based on your own wishes then you will be able to enjoy the process more without any pressure. thank you, you have made me realize that what my parents did all this time was right. they never determined where I should go to school, what I should become, what grades I should have, they just told me to do what I wanted so that I could sincerely do it.

@natdeu 4 года назад

I wish my parents have pushed me more. They wanted to give me independence. As a result, I screwed up a lot. The hard truth is when you do not push you child,he/she won't do anything useful. And yes, grades are very important.

@sidneyboo9704 3 года назад

Well you seem to be an adult. No time is better than now.

@walshricky7678 3 года назад

1 year had passed by now since we utilized this *4ChildrenReading. Com* a reading manual. My little princess is constantly enhancing her own reading capabilities so far. She these days reads beginning chapter books and is also a great speller. She also makes up brief stories and also constructs sentences. ..

@benvella1728 3 года назад

Same. Making up for lost time now due to my foolishness. However, my parents were never educated so they nudged me into school but asked little more. I love them dearly and know why they did what they did - in their mind, I was already a genius just by progressing through school. They knew nothing else about how education works, how the modern private industry goes, and what commitments are involved in gaining independence or what relationships and marriage is like nowadays. I just know they did their best and that was enough. I can't say I know how I'll raise my kids, if me and my wife will have the privilege of having any, but I know I want to repeat the unconditional love shown. And maybe a bit more guidance on education from my side, and voluntary, social activities from my wife

@vkrgfan 2 года назад

@@benvella1728 Your comments make more sense then the lady who gave Ted talk. She speaks to established educated parents which aren’t the majority. A lot of parents working from 8-5 or sometimes two jobs to make needs met. So, these are two polar opposite things for people who came from nothing or poverty the one thing they want to give their children is education and a good quality of life.

@everythingrebekahlorraine 2 года назад

I had great grades and could have gone to some very big-name universities. I applied to all the major universities in NC (because of in-state tuition) including Duke and Chapel Hill. I was accepted into every school. But in the end, I made a smart financial decision to go to UNCA. I got the Teaching Fellows Scholarship and worked through college which allowed me to graduate without college debt. It's funny because, before the pandemic, I was working with someone who went to Yale... I was in a leadership position above him. We both had degrees in Education but I paid far less for mine and ended up in a position that got more pay than him. Unless you want to be a lawyer or a doctor, it really doesn't matter what university you get the degree from so long as it's an accredited one. I am currently pregnant and have no expectations for my kid so long as they try their best at whatever they decide to do. They don't have to go to college, there are lots of other ways to make money. My goal is to build a life-long learner who enjoys challenging themselves, so long as they do that I'll be happy.

@ldevon2318 2 года назад

This is beautiful. As a mother - it moved me to tears.

@jodymbula4340 2 года назад

I am so glad I am watching this as a first time… I want to raised a happy, kind, loving human

@devorahfriedlander9139 6 лет назад

I'm so glad I watched this while my girls are still young. My "wildflowers" are free to become whatever they chose so long as they are kind and respectful of others.

@chanteljones9228 2 года назад

God bless you

@catness1809 7 лет назад

I love this woman! I'm glad that my mom would agree with a lot of what she's saying, seeing how my mom raised me. There are parents of some kids I know that ought to see this. Too bad they wouldn't listen.

@ellen9352 Год назад

P bu

@ellen9352 Год назад

'll

@ellen9352 Год назад

@denisesalmanb 2 года назад

WOW Thank you. This is the best talk and advise I regarding parenting I have ever heard. In a nutshell, well spoken, from the heart and what I needed to hear and learn today.

@gojungah Год назад

The best and most amusing parenting talk! I have three kids aged from 8 to 16 and echoing what she just said that giving your child a chore or two a day and showing your genuine interest in her/him is the best parenting skill.

@tomoclubedu Год назад

Check us out for parenting advice, SEL related games, webinars & gaming sessions! 🚀

@josiannecloutier1724 5 лет назад

She is so right. Thank you very much for this video.

@emanalmutawa8564 7 лет назад

Absolutely wonderful and well put together. 👏

@heidiclark8309 Год назад

We all want the best for our children but don’t all have the tools we need to be better parents. I needed more talks like this not a Lamaze class before my children were born. Thank you ❤

@Mark_Trail 9 месяцев назад

Broke down in tears while watching this. My parents cared more about my grades and how i stacked up against other kids than my happiness. Eventually failed out of highschool, then muttled my way thru community college. Hit my stride in late 20s. Got a masters degree. 36 now. No wife and no kids. Lots of friends. Making lots of money. Genuinely happy. But I rarely speak to my parents. Can't help but wonder how I'd turn out if Mom and Dad had followed this approach.

@Tallbrownqueen 6 лет назад

I really felt inspired and empowered after watching this. Loved it 😀

@DaveGarber1975 2 года назад

I understand that there's a long-term parenting cycle that (statistically) oscillates between "helicopter" parenting during political-crisis eras and "free-range" parenting during religious-revival eras. As best as I can tell, overparented children grow up in figurative strait jackets yearning to break free, while underparented children grow up wild-and-free but hungering to connect, while children are best-adjusted when parents avoid either extreme. This TED talk supports my suspicions. Thank you.