@@monoj3299 he is a property broker, he wants family should be separate. So that everyone will by new house or will stay in rent then Realstate will give more return.
I got tears in my eyes. My father is bhayankar sharavan Kumar and violated my mamma's life for 30 years by imposing all seva on her shoulders in joint family. She went for two surgery but still she is cooking for whole family. And the worst effect is on me as individual because I have seen this all my life. One thing I want to tell all the unmarried boys that if you are real Shravan Kumar never get married. Otherwise you simply destroy your spouse life as well as your kids future and their entire life by giving them soul wounds.
My dad insisted on me being financially independent before I got married. I mistakenly married a Shravan Kumar and my life has been hell since. I earn well and I didnt even ask for clothes or jewellery from him ever (in retrospect i should have) but my husband wanted a wife that earned well and still cooked and did seva for his family. I am on the verge of divorce. I should have travelled the world, invested more money in SIP and stocks and should have lived my life. All the money I earned was taken by my husband and his wealth multiplied while my bank account dried up. Moral: If you think being financially independent will promise you a good husband or a better marriage. Think again.
Hello sir, please make a video on marriage councelling. The girls(esp working ones) are living in 21st century however the boy and his family is still in 18th century. Its hard to carry on a marriage.
Yes plz...workng girls And they want a qualified maid Hum hai azaad vichaar k log Ladki ki naukri se hume atraj nahi Par beta rasoi me kadam rakhe Ye hume bardasht nahi Also on nando ki interference...which acts as last thud on the whole drama Plz waitng for these 2 topics
Sir My grandfather made a brilliant decision in 1980s by not making his kids live together. My fathers and his brothers family lives in same building in different apartments. I have grown up seeing such good balance between large family and private life. My mother & all aunties had privacy and were very happy. All equally shared the aging parents responsibility This model of staying next to each other is very successful in my family 👏🏻 My daada daadi were very happy lived till 90 and passed away peacefully 🙏🏻
I hope I'm not offending anyone. I recently met an alliance with whom I was having discussion. I asked him that we live seperately in a nearby apartment to his parents so that we can help them when they need us. But he was like "no my mother cooks even if I wake her up in the middle of the night, she loves so much that she comes to my room when I am working from home and hugs saying "Mera baccha". 😐 I am a only daughter to my parents and they have always taught me to be independent because they say "You don't have any sibling. After us nobody will be there to help you, so learn to be as independent as possible". My dad taught me car driving, investment and what not. Even my mother has taught me many things including cooking. So I can safely say I can survive/live alone. So I just asked him one question to that he didn't have answer. When a girl's parents can send their daughter and live by themselves why can't boy's parents do the same since both are of almost same age? I just wanted to share my experience and two cents. It's indeed a sensitive topic and you have talked about it very well, Sir. Thank you .
🤔 kya h na, ladki is supposed to be Shaktiman, usse sab kuch aana chahiye......par ladka toh bechara bachcha hai, kaise kuch karega....irony of society.....
These type of moms are real fire... Even after 10 years of my marriage my mother in law who complains all day about her sugar and bp and arthritis will get up at midnight prepare parathas and my husband will demoralize me
"Agar shravan Kumar banna hai toh apne dum pe bano biwi k dum pe nahi..... " what a line Sir.. If anyone wants to become shravan Kumar please do your parents' seva on your own not by the help of spouse.
Absolutely correct. Why different thought process for parents of a son and a daughter?? If it's a son, he and his wife are bound to take care of his parents...and if it's daughter, there's no expectation from her because she has to take care of her in laws first . Who will take care of her parents if they don't have a son?? And son in law has no responsibility towards his parents in law?? Such a hypocrite society. Truth is both the son and daughter are equally important for their parents and parents are for them. You should not get an additional degree for giving birth to a son. I can't agree more...Shravan Kumar banna hai to apne dam pe bano, biwi ke sahare nahi.
@@good123g All these problems are because of Patriarchy. If women stayed at their homes after marriage and men shifted, there wud hv been much lesser problems of सेवा of oldies.
We are 3 siblings when our younger sister was born relatives are crying and telling my mom why you have not check the gender and aborted. My parents are ok with girl or boy 🤗 it's been 20 years and I'm working in a MNC company as a software engineer, my sister is an advocate and younger one is studying and same relative are coming and telling ladka ladki me koi bhedbhav nahi h 😅
Aap ko sunkar Aisa lagta hai, jaise koi mere dimag ko padh paya hai. I have a son who just turned 18 and I've been teaching him all these things: To live separate with his wife and be more connected with family I tell him that last 4-5 yrs of our lives, we may need some assistance but we'll not get old n sewa chahne Wale just next day of his marriage. Everybody should take care of their health, why to depend on anybody specially your daughter in law Or even your son? India me ek shauk hai sabko, apni bimari discuss karke relatives ki sympathy lene ka n sewa karane ka. Kya dusre deshon me log budhe nahi hote, log 80-90 + hokar bhi active hote hain, roj raat ko apne paon nahin dabwate 😁 Jab hum apne budhape ki lathi par khud hi latak jayenge to wo hume Sahara kaise degi, it's merely a support for us but can't become our feet.
Wonderfully explained how society is making sons guilty . Yes as someone said in the comments, every family should have one like you. Nowadays all lazy and irresponsible Inlaws are taking the advantage of this sravankhmar story. Yes it’s true that mother-in-law is the main culprit to make sons feel guilt in order to make more overpower on his family.
For the first time somebody dared to tell the truth ki " pehle things were simpler..now they are much more complex"!! Maa baap ne bacchon ko paalna is no Ehsan done to the kid..jo usne bada hokar chukaana chahye!! Azaad Kar do bacchon ko! If you say you gave good upbringing and sacrificed a lot then trust your upbringing and set them free! They will take care of you out of love and not as a duty..don't suffocate them with the load of your life and actions..
U say it like it is sir . Indian family joint system is now decayed . It’s just politics and interference on in laws in sons life . Control issue and interference. It’s couple who should take control of their Marraige and have their own space . Don’t people move cities for jobs ? People go abroad for jobs and passports their parents stay back with cook maids . Indian parents should have some self respect for them selves.
So true!@ Mothers of a boy feel that they are entitled to something great. Im working,unmarried, staying with my father,lost my mother 5 years back. Whenever I search someone to get married. Their concern specially the guys parents is that who will take care of your father once you get married. So they mean that its ok for me to be working and take care of the boys parents and thats what im entitled to,but not equally for my father if he is not keeping well?? Why???
From past 28 years I am married to one.. I just hate him and his parents but still serving them as being a single child of my parents as all of them think it's MY duty... I hate all of them
सर, आपने भारतीय समाज के बेहद महत्त्वपूर्ण समस्या की चर्चा की है। अधिकांश लोग कुढ़ रहे हैं, लेकिन इस पर कोई बात ही नही करता है। हम फिनलैण्ड के बेहतरीन हैपिनेस इंडेक्स की बात तो करते हैं, लेकिन उनके सामाजिक खासकर पारिवारिक संरचना पर बात नहीं करना चाहते हैं। हमारे अभिभावक अपने जीवन के अंतिम 3 महीनों की सेवा की गारंटी के चक्कर मे बच्चों के सबसे खुशनुमा माने जाने वाले युवा उम्र 30 से 45 वर्षों की खुशियों का बलिदान चाहते हैं। वो रिश्ते तो शोर शराबे के साथ बनाते हैं, लेकिन एडजस्ट करने को तैयार नहीं हैं। इस पर गहन और खुले दिमाग से चर्चा की जरूरत है।
18:30 You forgot the ones who spoil all the ironed and arranged clothes that are kept in the cupboard when they pull out something to wear. Aisa bhi karte hain.
Actually mostly maa chahti hi k beta shravan kumar bane aur Bina shadi k apni seva kare lekin problem ye he k vo ye bete ko Bata nahi sakti, nahi to vo swarthy prove ho jayegi esiliye.
Aise type ke Shravan kumar se bahut divorce ho chuke hai ... I had a similar experience too.. I am glad someone actually hit this topic and sooo logically well... thank you Sir
Sir my in-laws ruthless people when I fractured my right hand they were never bothered as I had asked my maid to cut the vegetables & I cook for them by my left hand as nobody even bothered at all ... they will not allow us to buy food from outside no matter what happens to me always I should only cook..such a useless family which includes my husband as well & the most useless sister in law who always spoke ill about me to my husband & he had no sense of his own as he use to act as per whatever their family says & the worst part was that our was a love marriage I thought understanding will be better but my husband never supported me even once ... but for their sister it’s different rules their when they visit their daughter’s house they will becomes maids doing everything & shit their mouths & they do all this drama & politics only with the daughter in law & seeing all useless serials on the tv & getting ideas how to make fights between their own son & daughter in law... they would not even allow me to watch even tv also
So finally someone of our parents generation is talking about this harsh truth... So here's my opinion based on what I read or studied so please sharavan Kumar's can avoid this... So basically in India, everyone is declared as GOD... Parents are first God, babies are God, teachers are God, doctors are God... So if a human being with body of flesh and blood and with limited lower consciousness is God... Do you even know what kind of Sin is this of acknowledging human as God? 1. Specially I don't understand what special powers Indian parents get when they give birth to a baby... Foreigners also give birth of baby through same process and even animals.. so what is so special about Indian parents? If they are God then can they kill their children and give life to them once again? If not then how can be you termed as God? Srimadbhagwatgeeta clearly states that there is only one almight divine or Sachchidanand Parambrahama and every creatures on this planet are a tiny part of him including our parents. 2. Second as you mentioned in this video that bringing up the child and giving them a good life is responsibility and not sacrifice then the Indian parents emotionally blackmailing their children is not at all love... Love is always unconditional and with no expectations. Srimadbhagwatgeeta clearly states that do your duties but without any expectations and attachments so if parents are expecting that they are investigating on their children and in future they will give them back is certainly not love. 3. As you said, if a son wants to be a Shravan Kumar or Sri Ram then first of all introspect yourself that do you even have 0.1% qualities of both of them? And moreover are your parents SATYAVADI, DHARMAPARAYANA and KARTAVYANISHTHA like Sharavan Kumar's parents or Raja Dasharath? If not then how can you becom Shravan Kumar or Sri Ram.. don't abuse them by doing all these sins in name of them. 4? The most important thing, shravan kumar and Sri Ram lived in Tretayuga when Varnashram dharma was followed in society.. Brahmacharya upto 25 yrs, grihastha 26-50 yrs, vanaprastha 51-75 yrs and sanyaas 76-100... So basically when parents used to turn 51, they used to handover all the responsibilities to the couple and left home and go on teertha yatra... Main motto was to leave the materialistic world... So if you want to become shravan kumar in kalyug then your parents must leave home at 51 but no the kalyugi people want all luxuries at that age also so basically making son shravan kumar or Shri Ram is basically a ninja technique to be in the materialistic life... So if you want to follow all the rules of Satyuga, Tretayuga and Dwaparyuga in this kaliyuga period then do follow all the rules and regulations strictly and not using some of them for their own personal benifits...
100% sahi hai Husband k parents ki over expectations se ladkiyan khud ki life enjoy karna to door jee bhi nahi pati hain. Aur ye expectations badhti jaati hai,puri na hone par taane maarne ko baithe rehte hain,saas sasur,chahe bahu ki physical limitations ho, lekin SEVA milni chahiye.Aur phir WhatsApp groups par bechaare ma baap wale message forward karte rehte hain. Meri marriage ko 24 years ho gaye hain aur ye seva ka formula pehle saal se hi chala aa raha hai.Kya moral duties sirf bahu ki hoti hai,saas sasur bimar bahu ka muh se haal puchhne me bhi asamarth hote hain??!! Wahi saas sasur apni beti ko din me chaar baar call karke puchhenge lekin unki sewa kar rahi bahu k liye unke koi emotions nahi hai. I feel like I am only a working machine for them.
Aur irony to ye hai nanad aakr bolti he k tum meri ma ko nhi phone krti, are us buddhu ko ye kaun bataye k ma baap me itni pat rhi to bahu kya kare.. Chaubison ghante phone calls dono k fir bhi khush ni.. Koi to chahiye na blame lgane ko.. So thts bahu
I can say lots of things but it wouldn't be enough to say thankyou.. Mukti mil gaye mujhe to... For last 4 years I m facing depression due to these overated dialogues of parents...😌
I agree 👍 मुझे नहीं लगता कि हमारे पुराणों में भी श्रवण कुमार बनाने के लिए लिखा होगा,because hamari Ramayan में भी श्री राम की मांओं का कहीं जिक्र नहीं है कि श्री राम उनके साथ रहते थे, वो अपने अध्यात्म और मोक्ष के लिए तीर्थ स्थल चली गई थी और महाभारत में कुंती, गांधारी और धृतराष्ट्र जंगलों हिमालय चले गए, तो कहीं नहीं है कि वो last time में अपने बच्चों के पास रहे हो,because last time में उन्हें मोक्ष priority होती थी, ये बात सही है कि श्रवण कुमार इसीलिए था because his parents were blind
Comedy aapki zabardast chalegi! Again great issue addressed. What I love about your thought process is the focus on the next generation. If we as a society help the upcoming generations in succeeding without making a big deal out of it, they will automatically be equipped and capable of taking care of the old and the aging.
"It's hard to be a man today, It's hard to be a woman today. " A beautiful statement. Best part is both are equally stated not stressing on either of them separately..
Bravo Mr. Sangwan! This was a brilliant discussion. It’s the truth everyone needs to hear. Your mention about the female infanticide brought tears to my eyes.
Great video. So true. Parents behave like businessmen by expecting returns from their children . They emotionally traumatize their children. Very nicely and honestly put !!
Agar me aapki ye video apne family group me dal do to saas sasur ke sath sath nand devar sab naraz ho jayenge. Ye alag bat h nand aur devar khud bhi apne level per yehi chahte h. Bina bole sab karo bus bolo mat. Aap great h sir jo bolne ki himat rakhte h
Sir aap mujhe 8 saal pehele kyu nahi mile. Aaj mujhe samajh main aaya shravan kymar ki maut kyu ho gehu thi. Usko toh 1 Baan laga tha. Mujhe toh Bhramhos Missile lag chuka hain.
Correct sir I do agree with you, that they should be a bachelor if they want to take care of only their parents my husband also same mentality’s they use to trouble me a lot but still I should shut my mouth & do seva for them from morning to night & always they pick up a quarrel with me & my husband always supported his parents even though he knew deep down in his heart ❤️ that his parents were wrong as he could never draw a line for his parents so they use to treat me like scrap as I was working initially & later started my own company but always they mocked me including husband as well the worst family I have seen in my life
Agree totally..... Prepare your sons from teenage to be on their own otherwise they grow up with a mentality of staying on and on in their parents house. Move them out as soon as they start earning. Let them manage themselves alone before taking on the responsibility of marriage. Give privacy and freedom to your daughter in law by giving her a separate home.... She will fall in love with her in laws.
In society *Standard for expectations* from parents is low compared to expectations from kids. Kids should achieve more from the less resource but when it's kids turn to takecare of parents, quality must be high.
@@problemsolution267because they forget to teach their sons basics of sewa at early-stage. They shower their son with all love n no trainings with expectations that his wife will serve them? Why wud she? She is not under any karza.
Kisliye kare sewa tune Karli kya apne saas ki bc ahsaan kar rhe ho kya paida karke aukat hi kya h tumhari hospital me admit hoza nurse Roz Teri deva karegi or itna hi ghamand h to mat Karo bacche paida
@@Ninanani4085and parents forget they are nothing without children apne aap se puch kya aukat h teri society mein Bina bacche ki ya tum rahis ki aulad ho
I concur with each and every word of yours. Some parents think that they are no less than God. By providing the basic necessities like food, cloth and education, they show as if they are doing some 'ahsaan' on the kids.
I watched two videos of sir today. One was curse of being good child in family Second was this....... Unfortunately my father is shravan kumar And i am the cursed good child......
Sir, you are godsent. I have been struggling to articulate this but have failed. You have said this beautifully. Parents are lucky to have kids. they bring so much joy and meaning to your lives! We should be thankful to our kids and stop expecting them to repay.
Same thing happened in my home with my mother in law.. She indulged n broke by brother in laws family n looking for another girl... Thanks sir for raising this issue
Not only sewa...the parents even take it for granted that their son will give them monthly sip. No matter how financially struggling he is . And parents claim it so casually and will throw tantrums if they dont get it. Jab umar thi tab savings to nhi ki abhi bacho ke gale me talwar chalake jina chahte hai. Aise parents hote hai kya? Ye log bache paida karte hai ek investment option samajh ke. Kaise karega ek akela ladka....itna sa bhi atma samman ho na to umar rehte savings karlo and uske baad aukat ho to hi bacha paida karo
Old generation muh sil leti hai... Gahan sannata... Raat gayi baat gayi... Koi response nahi... Young generation lehaj karke chup rehati hai ki wo bura maan jayege ya log kya kahenge... Kyuki sach share krne mai dar lagta hai, sach dekh kr response krne mai bhi dar lagta hai sabko... Kyuki apne sach ko nanga kr diya hai... Bahut kadwa hai pr pura sach hai... Meri mummy ki kahani...
Nobody should be shravan kumar. I can't understand why this charector glorified? He should keep his parents in his native place and made their lives comfortable. Instade why he was moving around places through unfamiliar routes at all.
I recently started following your vidios sir. You truly bring out the dark reality of our society. You are doing a commendable job for guiding every prospect of family.
Sir! Yet another superb video from you! I feel like you have put into words what is going on in my mind so beautifully! Love this channel for its fresh and reformist take on real issues faced by most people. Thanks a lot Amit sir
Sir, I can't tell what a big smile I have on my face while listening to you. Not that you are speaking what I think, but you are talking about a bigger issues that's engulfing our country. The comment you made about low happiness index/ problems of lower middle class and being stuck in that loop is so true. Hats off to your work and candidness.
Wow! I don’t even live in india, but my Shravan like hubby and his miserable parents ( they made pathetic faces to gain sympathy even in their 50s) made me and my kids so miserable until both his parents swarag Sidhaar gaye. These shravans are going to scoff at your video, and only solution is for the wives to remain strong and carry on. It is unfortunate that Indian parents put such a burden on their boys and bahus. I’m glad you are calling them out, but it’s so ingrained in our culture and god alone knows when it’ll sink in.
Sir my husband wants to become shravan kumar at my careers and happiness cost and he takes advice from outside for his finance do not involve me in any of that
Army wives ka haal aur bhi bura hai...i m being married for 14 years now... Mere husband army mein hain..shaadi k 3 din baad hi bol diya k tere ko mummy papa ki seva k liye byah k laya hun..apne saath nahi rakhunga... 3- 4 saal toh maine bhi adjust kiya... Fir jab dekha k i m not more than a educated maid...maine bhi achi bahu banne ki koshish nahhi ki...lastt. 14 years se saas k saath hi reh rahi hu...par apni sharto par...saas 4 baje uth jati hain..main 6:30 pe...hubby bolte hain k tu dhyan nahi deti .... Mummy ko hamare saath hi rehna hai... Maine bhi bol diya k mummy aapke saath nahi reehti...main unke saath rehti hu...aap mujhe le k aaye ho unke liye...itna hi pyar hai toh aap rakho apne saath...mujhe kyu bolte ho har time... Now i have. Realising that i have wasted 14 years of my life in such unrealistic expectations..
What you mentioned is absolutely correct sir that mother-in-laws & including husband also thinks that no matter what the daughter in law will never leave the house.... we are not that old fashioned people coz we are not dependent on anyone.... coz we are also working... & all we want is peace in life
What you are preaching is already working in western cultures. They never step on each other’s boundaries and respect even a child as an individual. We as Indians demonize the west. We take a great pride in interfering in other family member’s lives and parents specially feel entitled to dictate all decisions in their children’s lives and plus make them feel guilty if they have a mind of their own. The fact is parents in western countries far more ahead in thinking and their family morals. I am glad at least someone is courageous enough to talk about it openly and call out this kind of abusive behaviours of older generation. But the sad truth remains that this will be appreciated or maybe adopted by very few.
I love you for your thought process ❤️ I am mother of two and l feel so much gratitude towards them, l am so grateful to them कि वो मेरी जिंदगी में आए और मुझे मां बनने का सम्मान दिया। मेरे बच्चे ईश्वर का आशीर्वाद है मेरे लिए।
And then all society will blame a women because her husband and his family expect daughter in law to do all sewa and work of his Sheena Kumar and family
Sir I have a question. If 1 beta is shravan and blindly does ma ki sewa and the other 1 does not shell out a penny still in laws have everything against the shravans wife but not much against the Chota beta and wife then what should the badi bahu do.let his husband lutao wealth and be the sole care taker of his parents as he's actually a shravan and believes in karma and does not question his brother to contribute or asks his mother to ask the brother to contribute??????this surely leads to bitterness and hatred in the badi bahu against mother in law bro in law n his wife.sunne ko milta hai ki Apna Karam karo
Raiseing a kid is a duty not a favour to that kids. If parent telling repeatatively to their kids then it has high posibility that kids will consider parent seva will be a favour to the parent and definelty few kids do this favour with interest rate. And. At that tine parent cry what we did wrong. So understand the differenct inbetween favour and duty
Bahut bahut sahi, to the point and super awesome, I really appreciate your super wisdom. Plz continue doing such content, really country needs mentor like you.
Highly appreciated by both my wife and myself. Every topic that you speak on is impeccably presented. We couldn't agree more with your views. Very happy to know at least some like minded souls like us co exist in this world. Every thing you say SA and not NSA :-)
Lalchi sasural walo pe bhi video bnaiye jo neg k naam pe ldki k gharwalo ko or ldki ko torcher krte h or unka beta accha kamata h to usse bhi bahane se garib lachar bn bn k use emotional kr kr k rs lete rehte h or wo bechara loan le le apne maa baap ko dete rehte h or apne ldke ko ldki walo k khilaf bhadkate rehte h or fir wo ldka apne sasural walo ki respect nhi krta
Wife aur bache last priority meh atein hain ,first mummy har baat mein,Maine bohot bar mere husband se pucha,apne shadi kyuki,meri saas young thi aj se 23 saal pehle,40s mein thi fir bhi unki age piche khud bhi kaam karte rehte the aj bhi wohi kar rahein hain,aur mujse bhi karvayi
Sir, please make video on how to deal with mil insults and non understanding husband. Though I am staying away from inlaws and independent. Infact , she tells to my parents that how I will do seva of her in future ? And if I try to discuss, husband explodes.
We can't change our parents who are now in 70s or 80s. But our generation who in few years will become parents in law must learn from these videos and spread awareness by sharing these.
Sir, Some people are blessed with only female children, some with only male and some with both. What astrological significance does these combinations have ? Please make a video on it and also what luck or good does a girl child or a boy child brings, as people even today have somewhere in mind that there should be at least a boy. And such people/relatives even look down upon a couple which doesn't have a male child.
