Are You Worried YOU'LL REGRET YOUR CHILD FREE DECISION??

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We are constantly told that we will regret our child free decision so we worry about it. Is our worry really necessary and valid?
QUESTION: Have you ever been worried you'll regret your child free decision?
00:00 Intro
00:44 Is this fear really your own?
02:26 Should you make a decision based on a future regret you might have?
06:15 Happiness comes in many forms, not just in having a family
08:16 Living in constant regret of your decisions isn't very satisfying
09:29 Regret is not inevitable
11:47 Some of us know right away and some of us don't. Either is OK.
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Are you ever worried you'll regret your child free choice? If you decide you want to live the child free life you will constantly have people tell you that you'll live to regret your decision. Even though every person has to make this decision for themselves it can sometimes feel like once you've made the choice to not be a parent you are constantly told you've made the wrong one. This makes us question our child free lifestyle, even if we are happy. In today's video I give you a few simple reasons why you shouldn't be worried that you've made the wrong choice. Often our feelings of doubt come from a society that perpetuates this idea on us that we won't be happy unless we become parents and I just don't' think that's the truth. If I enjoy the idea of growing old without children that just might be the right choice for me!
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Опубликовано:

6 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 176

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

QUESTION: Have you ever been worried you'll regret your child free decision? 00:00 Intro 00:44 Is this fear really your own? 02:26 Should you make a decision based on a future regret you might have? 06:15 Happiness comes in many forms, not just in having a family 08:16 Living in constant regret of your decisions isn't very satisfying 09:29 Regret is not inevitable 11:47 Some of us know right away and some of us don't. Either is OK.

@Nicoleiia 3 года назад

There's no way I would regret not having kids. I don't want to physically have them, raise them, or pay for them. I get exhausted just thinking about it. No thanks.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Raising kids is not for the faint of heart, that's for sure.

@jollycakes9881 3 года назад

Ugh.. I know, just thinking about that. No thanks... Merry Christmas.

@lkhutchings 3 года назад

Agreed!

@SindyJ37 3 года назад

Word on that...you're so correct and it makes me so happy to know I'm not a terrible selfish person for deciding to not have kids

@oceania4681 2 года назад

Agreed

@bobmarker6812 3 года назад

Made my child free choice at 17. Now at 60, NEVER a regret! Personally, I saw no reason to have kid's. I like kid's, they're just not for me.

@sarahg9632 3 года назад

I agree... you can't regret something you never wanted

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Right?!

@101runaways Год назад

I thought long and hard about getting a tubal ligation and there was some fear. But it always came down to the fear that if I give zero compromise on the matter that I will not find a husband and I was like nope that's a terrible reason to keep the possibility of getting pregnant open. So at the age of 31 I got a ligation and Im relieved that the possibility of getting pregnant is less than being hit by lighting.

@theMermaidRhonda 3 года назад

As someone who is already at that "30 years later" stage, I can say that, nope, not one regret whatsoever. My parents couldn't have their own kids, so they adopted me and my little brother and they are wonderful parents! There are so many other ways to contribute to younger generations...being the cool aunt or uncle, maybe fostering a kid, or like you said, being a Big Brother/Sister. Just because someone decides not to have a child doesn't mean we're useless..;)

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

I'm so glad you have a positive adoption story. I feel like we hear so many stories that are negative so it's so nice to hear that you have had a great experience. Thank you for sharing that.

@beaulieuonnp593 3 года назад

The thing is, it is not even necessary to contribute to the younger generation. Many of us are just not interested in kids, let alone humans lol There is no rule book that women have to contribute even at all to anything if they don't want to

@GillianMulholland 3 года назад

I love this!!

@caddams5345 3 года назад

There are plenty of things I have regretted in life. Not having kids has never been one of them.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

😀

@PowerPc94 3 года назад

I am 26 y/o male and I had a vasectomy this year and I don't regret having children. I don't want kids in my life! I don't want that responsibility.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Good for you!

@meluvfriends 3 года назад

Um Ok thats AMAZING. Good for you for being proactive and not automatically leaving it on your partner. That is so wicked.

@beaulieuonnp593 3 года назад

Well, that is some good news about 2020, thank you.

@geroavendano7427 3 года назад

I had a Vasectomy 3 weeks ago, I'm 24.

@Movietuff Год назад

@isthisreallife if all guys wanted kids, there wouldn't be that much single moms.

@nikki5095 3 года назад

I always like to say that regret is not an insurmountable emotion. As you said, we all live with some regrets. Regretting not having kids only affects us, whereas regretting having kids will most certainly affect us and the humans we raise.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Yes!

@swatisaini6447 Год назад

THIS!!!!

@theunknownbachatero8899 3 года назад

I once dated a single mom who told me that at my age (I was 36 that time), I needed to hurry up and have children or I'd end up like her brother. She said he had an epiphany at around age 42 that he had wasted time so he quickly knocked up the next woman that smiled in his direction lol. Problem is that the woman is not acting responsibly like a mother should and he's now in a tough spot (complaining about it, etc and so on). I am now 41 and STILL don't feel the desire to have children. My guess is that he allowed self to be pressured/shamed into it by friends/family. I am currently single and not looking to date plus I'm solid on my desire to be childfree so pressure/shaming from friends/family wouldn't bother me. Truth is , I secretly find fun in hearing those contra statements from ppl. Yeah I'm evil, I know lol.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

It's always good to know what you want and stick to it regardless of pressure! 🙌

@swatisaini6447 Год назад

I feel bad for that brother's gf

@shamrockgirl804 3 года назад

‘You can’t regret something you never wanted’ is 100% accurate, and regret comes from those who wanted to have kids and tried to have kids but couldn’t. Unlike me, they tried to have kids (you can’t win the race if you’re not on the track or field) and couldn’t get what they wanted. Those people would have MOFO and maybe even jealousy towards those who have or don’t want kids. When parents tell you that you’ll regret not having kids and see what their life is, the same can be said when parents call you selfish for not having kids. They see you with an imaginary kid and think you’re ‘doing whatever you want’ instead of caring for the poor, defenseless, nonexistent kid. A parent’s circle of friends might be parents too. They can’t imagine someone not living 0-20 plus years without a child. You can’t be selfish toward someone that doesn’t exist.

@sk8ergrrl1 3 года назад

My fiancé and I have just adopted a puppy and it’s convinced me that I’ve definitely made the right decision. Raising a puppy is really hard! And I know that raising a kid is even harder! I know I can’t handle raising a child!

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

That’s why I have cats. The thought of raising a puppy is too overwhelming for me. LOL 🐶

@jollycakes9881 3 года назад

Agreed

@beaulieuonnp593 3 года назад

This is why I don't have animals or kids, they still are a responsibility and they can tie you down on your holidays sometimes. I focus on wildlife in my garden, no vets bills. too and I enjoy the lack of stress

@chanelnorth1785 2 года назад

@@beaulieuonnp593 ahhhh omg omg this is me! I don't like having anything to take care of other than myself! No pets, no children, too much responsibility. I have some low maintenance plants and I'm thinking of getting some fish😂. I'm 24

@Movietuff Год назад

Yeah right, you definitely love the dog as much as a parent would love their kid.

@NiinaSKlove 3 года назад

The “lonely when old” part is more about the other person’s fear in my opinion. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Besides, you can be lonely at any age. Young or old. Doesn’t really matter. You do you is my advice when people wonder if they should procreate or not. 🤓

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

That is very true. There are many people that have families and are incredibly lonely.

@purpleviolet207 3 года назад

@@WifeWithoutKids That is very true.

@catherineogh2440 3 года назад

How many elderly live alone and aside from their children and great children ? Too many... Don’t have kids if this is your only motive. Plus, lots of people feel alone at any stage of their lives with or without kids.

@beaulieuonnp593 3 года назад

yes, you can be lonely at any age, even with famiily. Right now I am lonely but it doesn't make me want to have kids

@GillianMulholland 3 года назад

Thanks for this. It's always comforting to be reminded that having kids is not all sunshine and rainbows which is the exact reason I don't want them.

@kaleidoscopeeyes1184 3 года назад

No one gets through life without regrets. I made the choice to be child-free and at 47 and I feel great about that choice. Children would not make my life better and I have plenty to be passionate and happy about without them.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

That's a great place to be in life.

@rach3511 3 года назад

I wake up every single day without any regrets about not having kids 😀 People just want you to go through THIER trials and tribulations 😡 Just enjoy the life YOU want to live people!!! Merry Xmas Hannah 🎄❤️

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

And Merry Christmas to you as well!

@kimdoe5889 3 года назад

Finally another reasonable person who is in a long term committed relationship who also doesn't want kids. Thank you for making these videos!

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Our little community of child free is growing:)

@valeriez3916 3 года назад

I’ve been searching for videos or articles on this topic for people in their 20s and 30s who are 90 % decided on child free but 10 % indecisive. Your videos are so good! Thank you !! Very helpful and to the point :)

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Glad it was helpful!

@beaulieuonnp593 3 года назад

@@WifeWithoutKids Please do a video of kids becoming criminals!

@sandykay1593 Год назад

Regretting when having them is problem not the other way. Even if you regret,you can always adopt,help so many souls in this world.

@oliolya2570 3 года назад

You are just totally right by saying "think about what their life is like"

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

😀

@thomasshort1784 2 года назад

@olga floccari That phrase should motivate anybody NOT to envy what somebody else has, is going through in their life, etc!

@punkkimiko 3 года назад

I'm fine with sticking to being the cool aunt. If I change my mind I'll adopt.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Aunty life is the good life:)

@thomasshort1784 2 года назад

@@WifeWithoutKids So's the uncle life.

@Antman-cy8ch 3 года назад

55 and NO regrets at all!

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Love this!

@themitsky 3 года назад

As Yoda said, "Fear is the path to the Dark Side Fear leads to Anger Anger leads to Hate Hate leads to Suffering." Also, if anyone says "You'll regret it.", offer to be them that You won't by age "x". If they take the bet, keep upping the amount untill they realise that You're serious. Or make some money. Make the bet in public, ie in front of friends/family etc, as most people won't want to back down from their strongly held beliefs and look weak in front of others.

@Anita-bs2cr 3 года назад

Just want to start off by saying, I love your videos! I know for me fear is a really big thing, especially because whenever I voice my decision people always tell me I am too young to decide (23), and WILL change my mind in my 30's. I find it very difficult and hard to voice my choices to people and have had a long term relationship end because I could not really see children in my future and is not something I have ever dreamed about or wanted. Whenever I sit by myself I feel confident in my choice and I am really content with my life as is and know that the future I want does not involve having kids.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

If you are happy and confident in your decision to not have children that’s what matters most. 😊

@gothichippielovechild3198 3 года назад

My hair isn’t really curly. But I was able to encourage waves/pseudo-curls by getting a layered/shag haircut. I’m really loving it.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Oh nice. I've had a few BAD shorter haircuts and now I'm terrified to chop off my hair.

@koala6607 3 года назад

I would only be willing to have kids if I did not have to give a birth and raise it. Those two conditions are non negotiable lol 😂 . Nope, not even then actually

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Ha!

@JB-kx9bx 3 года назад

I think it helps to assume if you had kids they wouldn't necessarily would have had a good life. When I've ever imagined having kids I envision them being happy, healthy, and gainfully employed. None of that is a guarantee and in modern American society more likely than not that you won't be all those things. My wife and I have enjoyed our late 20s and early 30s spending time with friends, traveling, changing careers, moving and want more of that for our future and I'm sure that'll be enough for us.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

That is a good point. People generally assume their kids will have a good life and yet for many people in North American that isn't always the case.

@KoalaB354 7 дней назад

Just found your channel in the last few days. I'm 36, single and child-free and I don't see myself as the tragic figure people think I am. Still hard not to absorb it though. Your videos are helping me. Thanks!

@brontel3004 2 года назад

All my life I thought I would be a mother in the future but the last few years really changed my perspective. I think of climate change, soaring house prices, inflation etc and it scares me to think my child would be put into this world like that. With the increasing number of young adults living at home still, I think I would be living with my child well beyond into their 30's. I'm glad that my brother has a son so at least there is less pressure for me to create grandkids for my parents. I guess having pets has given me a sense of whether I really want kids because their vets bills are expensive, I cannot spontaneously leave to go on vacation and it is a 15-20 year commitment of my time. I am heavily leaning towards not having kids and I am so glad I am realizing this now before it is too late.

@Sabrina-ky5tl Год назад

it's like you're scared of flying, it really makes you sick, you dislike everything about it and do the unthinkable: decide not to get on a plane. then people are like "wELl, won't you regret not becoming a pilot?????". ma'am, what

@rebekahday3537 3 года назад

Thank you for this reminder!

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

You are so welcome!

@laurenmartin3778 3 года назад

Luckily, I only have a couple small regrets in my life so far and I’m very confident in my decisions. I know that I won’t regret (now or later) not having kids cause I just don’t want them.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Love the confidence! 👍

@catherineogh2440 3 года назад

as a 19 year old surrounded by social media and ideolization of motherhood by users, we only see the bright side of their lives and think: « that looks nice, they seem close, happy and enjoy their time together ». However we don’t see the dark sides of parenthood and this is what frightens me. Sure the joyful moments might be the most beautiful thing one can experience. But I don’t think this would worth all the blank monotony and energy spent in being a parent... To me, the regret of not having a child is less than the one of having them. As long as I’ll doubt my capability of being a nurturing mother I won’t have kids because I don’t want them nor me to be unhappy... This is the only irreversible decision that one can take and every prospective parent should greatly reflect before taking the step.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

All my siblings have children and I've had plenty of insight into what life as a parent would be like. I agree with you in that the best parts s of parenthood are shown and the challenging bits are often omitted when in fact being a parent is a lot harder than most people thought it would be.

@thomasshort1784 2 года назад

@Catherine Smith That's why you should never trust the media in general. Don't believe all the hype Hollywood wants you to believe either! They're BOTH just lying, fear-mongering, propaganda-pushing tools, for the most part (ESPECIALLY today)! I'm 39 and if there's one thing I've learned is that real life is very seldom, if ever, like what we see in the movies and, I agree, "social media" can be and even is deceptive. I agree there's DEFINITELY a dark side of parenting that VERY FEW people (especially parents) seem willing to acknowledge (and, like you, all I've had to do is sit back and watch other people to KNOW the difference)! At my age, KNOWING what I do know, I now thank God I don't have the daily responsibilities of raising children (I admit, there was a time I THOUGHT I wanted to be a father BUT, after getting a small taste of helping raise a young nephew, I changed my mind; by the way, I'm still close to the nephew and love him very much but, like I said and, as a result, I thank God I not only learned the easy way but, I can now have no regrets)! Furthermore, I completely agree that ANYBODY seriously considering parenthood should not weigh it lightly.

@KYLOWW 3 года назад

I enjoyed the video very much. Anyway I was wondering if you could do a video of how we should get along with parents vs non parents?

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Thank you for the idea. I will add it to my video list. 😊

@jollycakes9881 3 года назад

No regrets, because that's what I desired (in my heart, and God knows what's I desire) is to not have kids. And made the choice to be childfree by choice. 😁 Merry Christmas Hannah, and your husband too. 🎄❄️🎁

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Thank you for sharing. Merry Christmas to you too!

@Phentes 2 года назад

Thank u so much Hannah for putting yourself out there. Despite all the negative things people say, you continue to provide us with more. I’ve been watching your vids every day since I found out about your channel and I love every second. Keep doing what ur doing ❤️

@tremainerobertson2794 2 года назад

I absolutely love your videos! Keep up the good work!

@UberFluber 3 года назад

So I'm 25 and only recently started realizing that having kids isn't mandatory, as weird as it sounds (I'm female). I did some research on the topic got into a rabbit hole of the history of being childfree. Apparently infanticide (infant homicide) was a very common untill a certain point inbhistory to mainly 'dispose' of unwanted children. Don't get me wrong, this is some dark and unethical stuff. But then Philosophy and religion has changed society in a way that wanting kids is seen natural part of being human, because people realize infanticide is wrong. And now, the availability of birth control and abortion prevents this from happening too. That tells me that it's not per se 'natural' to want to have children, and it's not the same as 'wanting to procreate', which is just biological chemistry in our body. So not wanting children is completely natural and fine, even from a historical point of view.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Yes, it can be quite the rabbit hole, but it’s interesting stuff. Thanks for sharing. 😀

@HealingEraWithTricia 3 года назад

Thank you so much for this channel ❤️🙏🏿

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

You are so welcome

@juliataylor2578 Год назад

Your videos are so helpful, thank u 🙏

@WifeWithoutKids Год назад

You are so welcome.

@annar3519 3 года назад

Thank you very much for your channel! It helps childfree people like us to see that we are not alone and many share our choice. Also it might help many people not to make a very big mistake in their life and to know there is an alternative to a parenthood.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

I'm so glad you find the channel helpful! You are definitely not alone.

@lilianacarvajalvillalba4040 3 года назад

I just want to say how much I appreciate your video s and how much I admire you and how helpful you r to me. I'm 40 and married for the past 5 years. We wanted kids when we met but not anymore for many valid reasons. We have support but your vids really help me organize my ideas and not feel so alone in this choice. We don't know anyone that has made the same choice.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

You are so welcome! I'm happy to hear that these have been helpful. There is a whole community of people that has made the same choice as you, so you aren't alone. 😀

@kamalelwa3505 3 года назад

Let me tell u that the hair issue is not an issue!!! I also have stick straight hair that refuses to hold curl..I have learned to just go with it!!! I have a friend who has natural Shirley Temple curls and believe me when I tell u that we got the better deal!!! Ahahah. It is a struggle for my friend everyday but me...I get up , brush and go!!! Hope that helps u?!?!? It is a decision to be CF that everyone woman has to make. You are so right about the volunteer opportunities for grandparents. There is no reason to fill like you have missed out...there is so much that can be done and areas that your wisdom and yrs come in handy. Thanks so much for a great video!!!

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

With regards to the hair: My hair isn't even naturally straight, its kind of wavy which is why it makes no sense that it doesn't hold curl! LOL, Oh well, there are worse things in life!

@Isabel-hf5du 3 года назад

Very insightful!! It eased of my mind of a present fear. Thank you!

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Glad it helped:)

@ApprehensiveWitch 3 года назад

Wow, thank you for this video. I have known that I wanted to be childfree since I was a teenager. I kept an open mind and I even thought (because everyone told me so) that I would change my mind in my late 20s. The older I got and the more I came to know and understand myself and my values, the more certain I have become that childfree is the right choice for me. Now in my 30s the messaging that I will regret this choice is starting to pile up. This is so helpful in combating that false logic of future fears.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Making the choice that reflects your values is the best choice you can make:)

@madebymackenzie 3 года назад

Thank you for making this video! I just discovered your channel and I can’t wait to watch more of your videos! I’m pretty sure I don’t want children, so this video is helpful!

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

You are so welcome! Happy to have you as part of our community:)

@terrasamiddha7024 3 года назад

Amazing woman !

@JB-kx9bx 3 года назад

I dont know what you're talking about. I love my house full of dog hair and smelly furniture. 😅

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

😂

@YouHaveAGoodPoint 3 года назад

Well said

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

🙌

@SindyJ37 3 года назад

I'm so happy I found your channel. It makes me so happy and comforted to know my desire to not have kids is ok

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

I'm so happy you found this community as well. You are not alone! 💜

@DC-ef8op 3 года назад

Great video. Do you mind me asking how old your are? The only reason as a 40 something is that all of my co workers and friends have kids and that is all they talk about. It is the only reason that i second guess myself on not having kids. When I had pets that was enough for me. One time my husband brought up having kids and I felt trapped just thinking about it. It scared me. So I then knew that kids were not for me.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

All of my friends except two have babies as well. I think I’m pretty used to people talking about kids a lot. I have found as the kids have gotten older we tend to talk about them a bit less. That’s just how life goes though. People talking about their kids never makes me second guess myself. It’s the exact opposite! I’m good with pets too. 🐈‍⬛ 🐈

@SigmaTrade-sc4cy 6 месяцев назад

Regret is just emotion, emotion create illusion and as an artist , my 20 year practice with illusion shows that illusion and emotion are fake feelling.

@marymojsovski3239 3 года назад

Watching this always make me happy.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

😀

@purpleviolet207 3 года назад

Nice video! I never wanted any kids from way back. People used to tell me that one day I would be sorry about the choice that I made and that, I would regret it. That was years ago. I'm now a Sr. Citizen and I don't regret the choice to be childfree at all! Merry Christmas Hannah!! Wishing you a happy and safe holiday!!!🔔🌲🤶🎅🎄🎁

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Love it! Hope 2021 is treating you well.

@purpleviolet207 3 года назад

@@WifeWithoutKids So far this year has been good. Wishing you a good year too!

@paultidwell8799 2 года назад

Word.

@joeber3869 2 года назад

Very good points. Just a little hint from viewer's point - pls slow down. We say more when we speak slowly. Good luck to you ;-)

@WifeWithoutKids Год назад

Thanks for your feedback. 😀

@scorpionqueen66 Год назад

I knew that I never wanted children at 14, and I'm 56 now and I don't regret my choice not to have children, and I never will!!! My life would be totally miserable and unhappy if I had kids, and pregnancy and the excruciating and horrific pain of childbirth really scares the hell out of me!!! Hard pass on motherhood!!! It's just not something that I wanted in my life, and that's fine!!!

@WifeWithoutKids Год назад

It’s totally fine to pass on things you have zero interest in.

@Siacourage Год назад

I'm a male who just turned 32. When I was much younger the thought of having kids didn't appeal to me for financial reasons. I thought they would be a huge burden and I didn't want to struggle working various jobs just to support them and have no life in the process. But now my prospects are looking up and I'm more receptive to the idea (provided I find a good woman). My decision whether to have or not have kids revolves around mainly my financial status and whether I can find a decent woman of child bearing age. Once I check those boxes I'm good to go. But if for whatever reason I don't then I absolutely won't regret having kids. I won't let society bully me into that decision only for the kids, the wife, and myself to suffer when I'm not ready.

@user-lt7ff1tg9f 3 года назад

Just know, that you even considering this just shows how conscientious and thoughtful you are as a person. Have faith in yourself, because you will know what makes you happiest. You always kind of have the answer, its just a matter of it being triggered in you. It'll happen.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Yes, I think deep down most people have an idea of what they want.

@urbana11229 3 года назад

If I'm not mistaken at some point you asked readers to suggest subjects for you to talk about. How's this : MUSIC. Have you ever noticed how few songs there are about having babies? Rock n' roll, country, folk, classical, disco....yes there are some but they are few and far between. why? because the bands want to sell a lot of records and make a living !!!! Happy love - yes sad love - yes having babies??? what?!?!?! would love to see you make a video on this !

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

I've never thought of this! Thank you for the suggestion. It's been added to my list. 😃

@shortycareface9678 3 года назад

I am in my early twenties. The only time in my life when I've been remotely interested in having kids was when I was together with a partner who wants and is dead-set on having kids. The moment we broke up, I snapped back to myself and realized "Heck, this was for the best". I'd probably end up on that "I regret having children" page on Facebook, eh. I have never wanted children and of course, people keep telling me I'll "change my mind", or asking me if I "really wanna grow old without children". Excuse me, but I personally live in a different city and part of the country than my parents do -- and I have no desire nor plans to move back where they live, or even to that part of the country. So many people talk as though a child is someone they can mould into whatever they want them to be. I personally have faced (and do face) pressure from my mother, who apparently "expects me" to do this and that because "that was her plan for me". It is straining and, I think, deeply unfair as I am an individual with my own aspirations, desires and needs in life; I am not her puppet to control as she wants. So no, I would never have children thinking they could be my "retirement plan". To me, putting another individual into the world and being unconditionally responsible for them for the rest of my life seems like too much of a gamble. Plus, I have no desire to become a parent nor to "start a family". I honestly don't see why I have to "justify myself" beyond that, as it should be reason enough not to have kids. Kids deserve parents who genuinely want them and can be present in their life. I doubt I would be able to do either of those, seeing as I don't want them to begin with.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

"Not wanting to" is definitely reason enough and you are right, children deserve to have parents who genuinely want to be parents.

@kongwillmon6509 2 года назад

How do you overcome the regret of not having kids? I suffer from this regret daily. I chose not to have kids early on and had no desire to until my 40s. I loved my childfree life until now. I don't know how to overcome this. The regret is coming from me and not anything outside of me. I feel that I missed out on having an offspring of my own. I'm tired of just focusing on me. It gets very meaningless.

@WifeWithoutKids 2 года назад

As I've not been in that position myself I'm not sure I can answer your question adequately, but I'll do my best. It's important for life to have meaning and to feel like you are making a difference somehow. Maybe it's about finding activities that fulfil whatever you feel your life's purpose is. Perhaps you could involve yourself in outreach, volunteer or community that does some type of work you would find rewarding. In my community there are always opportunities to be a big brother or sister to kids in the community that need some mentoring. Working in centers for troubled youth, volunteering at schools or kids clubs, fostering children, adoption, etc. may also be options. Most towns/districts offer opportunities to become involved in a child's life that could benefit both of you. Obviously it's not a replacement for your own child, but perhaps it would help you feel like life had more purpose and meaning.

@manoranjandash7301 8 месяцев назад

I want to be childfree but always having fear of being alone.How to overcome this fear?

@koala6607 3 года назад

Are you kidding? You have beautiful hair!

@andreaedwards7314 2 года назад

Children are annoying, not worth the labour pain women go through, they don't respect you or appreciate what you do for them. I'm in my 50s,....in can be very lonely being childfree, who else will admit regret about being childfree?

@WifeWithoutKids 2 года назад

It can take a lot to admit regret over a decision you’ve made. Thank you for sharing.

@devon5694 2 года назад

I partly regret not having one, at 40. But only part time. I'd like to interact with them, and it'd be nice to love something that much. But if there were any complications or if they weren't totally healthy I'd regret having one. And the thought of having to care for them constantly doesn't sound fun.

@WifeWithoutKids 2 года назад

It's definitely a package deal of commitment for the long haul.

@alysse9626 3 года назад

me and my bestfriend would joke around and say "I want to be a grandma but I don't want to be a mom" lol I am unsure about having kids. My boyfriend is 33 and I am 30 so I feel pressure from my biological clock. We have been together 11 years and I know my boyfriend wants to have kids but the reason he wants kids doesn't make sense to me. He says we need to have kids to leave a legacy and I don't think that is a good enough reason to have kids. Having kids is a huge life changing decision and I just don't know if I want to be a mom. I also want to be a teacher and I will be done with school soon. I am going to be teaching kids all day and I just want to come home and relax and not come home and be a mom. I am still on the fence about being a mom.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

It's definitely your decision and you need to pick what's right for you. What does he mean by "leaving a legacy?" I never really understand why this is a reason to have kids because eventually everyone is forgotten at some point.

@shairipiaer1746 2 года назад

( im from germany Englisch is not my first languange ) I was on this page too , never wanted kids, always felt awkward around them, it was going since forever and with boost since ive meet my boyfriend. He on other hand loves kids and goes in every crowd of kids where he can ,plays with ,takes care of his bros kids , kids pulls to him as magnet ,dont know what it is and i am always this grumpy one on side watching🤣. But since last year ive fallen like cherry in drink and got pregnant. I was terrified for my life he on other side - super happy , comforted my fears and till end of being pregnant helped with all i needed then came our small pink colored gummy bear Baby girl ( im sorry i find newborns completly ugly but) 😆 as i saw her first like hand swipe my decision to not have kids went away and ive fallen in love with my gummybear. To this day i have no clue why i hated kids so much could be that i maybe wanted to have one of my own ? Maybe i Was jealous that my boyfriend could be so good with kids and i never tried? I have no clue But i dont regret my Baby girl ive never been happiest.

@English_Marathoner 3 года назад

Could you speak a little bit slow when you make another videos? :) I can't speak and listen English well, but i like your videos. I am childfree, too. so I am watching your videos. If you don't mind, please make the next video speaking a little bit slow. :)

@christins.1481 3 года назад

I've been told, on your channel, that the child free movement is a movement of child haters and shouldn't be supported. We all have our reasons for not wanting kids. I've actually never liked kids since I was a kid myself. I never wanted to play with other kids nor be around them as a child myself. Later I was diagnosed as borderline Schizophrenic, suffering from OCD and random bouts of depression while also discovering that a crying infant can actually trigger one of my anxiety attacks. I was told I hate children. I never said I hated children. I'll run into a burning building to save a kid, I just don't want to be around your screaming kid.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

I’m sorry you’ve been told that. People can be so unkind. Choosing not to have kids is very personal and no one is obligated to share their WHY unless they want to. I’ve always made it very clear in my videos that although I don’t want children, I don’t hate them. My channel is not a hate channel towards parents/kids. No matter how clearly I say this people still accuse me of hating kids. People hear what they want to hear and honestly I think they are just looking to have an argument.

@Gnomey666 3 года назад

OMG the FOMO is real but it's all imposed on me by my family/co-workers. Luckily most of my friends and my husband are chill and also child-free. When I think about myself being a mom the answer is so clearly NO. Stillnmy parents want to be Grandparents, and while I feel bad about that in the end well too bad it's my life.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

You're right, in the end it's your choice. 😀

@Super-yw7ss 3 года назад

And not doing stuff regret.

@meep_murp8758 Год назад

Watching true crime documentaries on teenagers/adults who chose to murder their own parents for no good reason scared me away from having my own too. I can't imagine giving birth to your killer.

@nicolawyatt2837 Год назад

Dont ever regret it. Adult children are very manipulative, they only want your money. They offer no help when you are older. Just ignore what anyone says to you. Stay childless.

@blunt0sword0meals97 3 года назад

I can't wait for that video cause there's too much emphasis on child-free people regretting their decision vs. parents who regret having children. I don't agree with telling wanna be parents that they will regret it, so why is this ok for our decision to NOT have children? That's a double standard...also how any other form of "having children" besides biological children does not count. Thats is biased and narrow minded. Theres more than one way to parent. I consider myself a parent as well....to my dog, to my stuff and my art. That's good enough for me.

@WifeWithoutKids 3 года назад

Yes, many people consider themselves parents to things other than children, especially pets!

@beaulieuonnp593 3 года назад

Definitely not. I have less stress and responsibility and my freedom always comes first. I am not interested in kids, they are just a hobby for some people. Lots of more enjoyable things