Here's Why Women Shouldn't Be Pressured To Have Kids 

Young people- if you don’t want kids, don’t let anyone change your mind. I’m over 50, childfree, and have ZERO regrets. My first marriage ended because my husband changed his mind and wanted kids… and I still don’t have a single regret. He moved on to have 6 kids with another woman and I moved on to more money, more time, more peace.

My parents were like this couple. My mom had never wanted children, accidentally got pregnant with my brother, said "that's it", but then my dad and his parents pressured her into agreeing to have me. She's resented me since the day I was born, never bonded with me, ended up being very abusive and neglectful. Meanwhile, my dad did nothing to step in and protect me, would just turn up the volume on the TV when she'd go apeshit and beat me. I'm childfree now and DESPISE people who pressure others into having kids they don't want. You're setting someone up for a boatload of childhood trauma, it's unbelievably selfish.

Really shows how easy fatherhood is and how horrible motherhood is.

Children are NOT for everyone. I've never doubted anyone who said they didn't want children. This "Family" will forever be troubled.

Pressurizing/Forcing a woman to have any kid/kids or impregnating a woman without her consent should be a criminal offense.

Another reddit story I saw: they had a fling and she ends up pregnant. She wanted an abortion and he coerced her to keep it by promising he'll take care of the baby. She has the baby and signs over all rights to him. Now he's pissed she wanted no parts of raising the baby. Took her to court for child support, she agreed to pay and even gave him more than the court asked. Then he's complaining about her getting a tummy tuck and living like she was child free. He says he's tired of looking after the kid by himself and is considering adoption. If he wasn't wholely into it, why did he insist she have the baby in the first place?

This is infuriating. That man coerced his wife into taking on a role she didn't want, and now she is regretful. I see divorce in their future.

Childfree Men here with some advice for her. Divorce him and give him full custody of the child. For him, it seems, a child is a toy. When he assumes full custody of the child, he will understand the responsibility and the burden.

There are men like this. I dated one like that and he said "I think you are going to change your mind" I did. I "changed my mind" about him and cut him out of my life! I feel so sorry for the woman and the baby. Edit: Thank you for posting this. I feels good to be validated and to know I am not alone.

Guess he didn’t expect to have to buy formula. He thought, like everything else, _she_ would take care of that issue. Like every woman is able to breastfeed w/ no problems whatsoever.😒🙄

People really need to stop shaming women for being child free by choice. Not everyone is fit to become a mother.

He wanted the baby....he can keep the baby...love it/ take care of it....and all the responsibility that comes with raising another human. If he doesn't know what to do then he should have taken some parenting classes. She can divorce him and give him full custody, because he clearly doesn't care about her. He just used her womb like an unpaid, unwilling surrogate and now wants to use her like an unpaid unwilling nursemaid.

Let me guess, he wanted a baby to carry on his legacy 🙄

This might sound harsh, but I hope she leaves him and finds someone that is childfree like her. After she gets therapy and gets her life together. If she wants a partner.

I'm not even sure the husband wants to be a father either since he seems to be pushing all the responsibility on her because she's the mother. Or he's just like a certain group of men who like the idea of being a father but don't want the responsibility of being a parent. My heart goes out to his wife and child. They're both in a shitty situation because of his selfishness.

"we" got pregnant? 😂 nah bro, SHE was pregnant, not you

The man in the story sounds like my father. Exactly like my father. He is still trying to pressure me into having a baby even after I told him pregnancy would be lethal. “But you’re a woman. It’s your JOB”. No, no it isn’t. And my husband has his vasectomy now, so nah-nah!

Nobody should be pressured to have kids.

UGH and the worst part about this is that everyone is being so compassionate towards the mother, but only because it's being told from the abuser's perspective. Any time a woman like this actually shares how she feels, people call her a monster. I'm done.

"She told me"... "I figured." Women are expected to go from High school 17-18 graduates to wives, mothers, homemakers within 5 years while men have all the time to figure their lives out. Let's ask her how about her pregnancy experience.

He wanted it. He can take care of it. Men mostly tend to ignore what women tell them because they just don't care. Lot of men really put the pressure on women to have children.

“like every other woman out there” makes me want to punch the guy 😡😂

She needs to divorce him and give custody and proceed to live her best life. There's more to life than that disgusting man

I've never been afraid I'd regret not having kids. I'm terrified I'd regret having kids though.

Divorce and leave him with the baby. Sounds harsh but she will be completely destroyed if this keeps going.

I feel sorry for the Mother & the Child, a mother who never wanted him in the first place and a child who was brought into this world due to the Father being a selfish POS swaying his wife into something she didn’t want to do. Great video, my wife and I love your content and glad to know we aren’t alone in this Child Free community.

He's one of those types of men that think women are naturally one way and if they say otherwise they're just lying or don't know what they're talking about. Now he's realising that his wife is her own person and not someone who has the potential to be who he thinks she SHOULD be. That's why he speaks to her in a way that if he tells her to just 'be a mother' she'll just eventually do it.

These stories make me so angry! the cruelty, selfishness and judgement that this man has is disgusting! She told you that she doesn't want kids, so why did you marry her? Because she will change her mind? No freak, childfree is a choice, not a phase, a woman is a human being with thoughts, opinions and coscence, if she says that she doesn't want kids, she means it. These men get married anyway, because for them, submitting a woman and manipulating her is an achivement. Then when he says "my wife has a duty to love and nurse him"... no, she doesn't, she's not a machine that you just clik a bottom and it will do what you say, she' s a human with a personality and thoughts. It's clear that he, the one who DESPERATALY WANTED the baby, takes 0 responsabilities to raise the kid and just keep living. That was his plan since the beginning! Then he has to courage to judge so harshly his poor wife when he doesn't do anything, he even stated that. He doesn't have an idea how difficult pregancy, birth and motherhodd is and all the consequences that brings on a woman. An absolute bastard. He doesn't care about his wife, he just wanted to use her to be a fun daddy an live her with all the responsabilities. You can't just move on, motherhood is a serious responsability and not all women have the personality and desire to go through it and that's fine, because we are all different. The only solution i see is give the baby to adoption and divorce, i hope that woman divorce him and live the life she deserves and that that bastard rots on his own. Another reason why i dont want kids, it's because i'm not a man personal incubator and i don't want to sacrifice my life, while he gets to do what he wants and even jugde me about it. We need to teach young women that motherhood is a choice and marriage and kids are NOT their final goals, their worth and their best achivement, but a choice. If you don't want it, that's totally fine. You are a human, not a baby machine and an obejct to make men feel proud. These are the consequences of a misoginist society that think that all women wants kid and that they have to be slave to men. Disgusting.

People would always ask me, “but what if he wants them”. I’d reply, “then he can have them w/ his next wife”.

I am one of these women. A major issue in this area is that people assume that you'll feel an instant bond with the baby and all your priorities with instantly change. Mine didn't. I also felt that adoption was best, but fathers have rights and I therefore wasn't able to. I stayed for my son and I've been able to take most of my life back and minimize the effects of motherhood. Also, it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation because people will tell you you're shitty whether you stay or leave. It's really terrible. I try to be as honest as I can with young women and mothers because I want to tell them what everyone else isn't saying.

Just cause a woman is a woman that doesn’t mean their “JOB” is to have kids. I got news for you bro. I’m 41, will be 42 next week I don’t have kids. I’m am 100% happy & fulfilled without one. I feel horrible for the wife & kid. If you’d’ve manned up & took her feelings into account,,, actually listened to her, she & you would be happier. So dude I say to you, Grow a pair & try listening to what your wife want for once. Donn’t come crying to us when she leaves your sorry butt… She said she wanted to be child free. You should’ve left her & found someone willing to give you a child. A woman’s job is not to be an incubator. Whoever taught you that is seriously misguided, if I find them I’ll have harsh words for them. Sis, run, run now

SHE TOLD HIM SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE A PARENT, WTF 🤦🏽‍♀️. And as a former CPS employee, I will always be pro-choice.

This happens so much more often than people realise, I am the baby in this story, and I married a man that tried to force me to breed too. It trauma at a scale men don’t appreciate.

My heart aches for this newborn that didn’t ask to come to this world, already enduring such life altering trauma and neglect. I hope they, as the adults in the equation, can find the right supports to work this through the best way possible 😞

It amazes me how men want the kids when it's not them who go through pregnancy and it's usually women who get stuck with most of the work. I guarantee you men would NEVER want kids if they had to go through pregnancy, if they got stuck with most of the responsibility and work full time on top of all that. 🙄

People need to stop shaming people who don't want kids. To me personally it's disgusting behaviour 🤬🤢. Also thankyou for creating this space for child free people, greatly appreciated ☺️

The fact that they can’t afford formula DOES say a lot !! Doesn’t seem to be financial stable . The child is suffering , mother suffering . The father doesn’t seem to understand sacrifice that comes with parenthood . He wants her to be “happier “to make his experience more pleasant

Once he brought up the idea of just having one kid when she finally decided that she wanted to get her tubes removed, she should have divorced him. Immediately.

Stories like that lead to childhood trauma. Poor baby. Her deserves to have loving and caring parents. The best thing for the baby would be to be put up for adoption. They should do what is the best for him and let him have happy childhood with parents who want him and can take care of him. His biological mum has never wanted a child and she is currently is a very bad place. His biological father lacks compassion, empathy and is unlikely to meet the child's emotional needs (and financial needs by the sounds of it). I hope the "wife" finds support and recovers from post-partum depression. I won't be surprised if this is going to be the end of their relationship.

If they can’t afford formula, what else can they not afford to take care of this child or even themselves?

I knew a couple about 25 yrs ago who got married with the opposite situation, the guy said he was childfree and the woman believed he would eventually change his mind as they got older. When they were married about 10 yrs and making large incomes, she gave him an ultimatum that they would have 1 baby or divorce. She "threw in" him buying his dream car (WTH!) and they had a daughter. Not surprisingly to me they got a divorce when their daughter was 2 yrs old. He loves his daughter and is very involved in her life but never wanted to be a dad and regrets giving in.

She may have to leave him a single father.

Post traumatic pregnancy is a Real Thing 💯. She didn’t want kids in the beginning💯. She needs therapy to get rebalance 💯. He was thinking that she would change like magic 💯. This whole situation is TERRRRRRIIBLLLEEE🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️💯💯💯. Thank You for sharing this and bringing light to this aspect.❤💯

He sounds like a champ. He talked her into having a human he can't afford.

This story is very sad and scary. That's 100% reproductive cohesion he did to his wife. She needs help and support and probably a divorce and someone to take the baby whether that's another family member or adoption. She shouldn't have to live with this mess because it's something he wanted and made her do. He's an ahole. It's situations like these that make having a supportive child free community so valuable and important, especially for women who get pressured constantly to have kids. They need to know that it's their life and their choice. If their partner tries to change their mind then they need to let them go because you can't compromise or "just have one". Never ever give into peer pressure when it comes to having kids! Parenting is one of the most difficult things and permanently alters your entire life. You can't return the kid once it's born. 😕

BINGO :WHAT IF YOUR HUSBAND WANTS KIDS??? WHAT IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND? YOU’LL LOVE THEM WHEN IT’S YOUR OWN! This is what happens! She should have never let him persuade her to be a mother. I would have left before getting pregnant or aborted then left.

I want to fight this man. I want to hurl every object i can at him.😡😡😡😡 That child is going to grow up with feelings of rejection and abandonment. My mother had me and guess what, i haven't seen or heard from her since i was 1 and i am 30 now. Maternal rejection leaves a wound so deep it never heals. I would have been better off is she were dead but knowing she's alive and rejected me as a toddler hurts way more. Growing up with a father who provided but resented me was not easy either. Please i'm begging, DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN if you are not sure you want them or can raise them into wholesome adults. Otherwise, you'll ne creating more broken souls like me.

Being child free isn’t selfish. Insisting someone has a baby they don’t want IS. Also, this man only thought of what he wanted. He didn’t even think about what was best for his child. Having a child with someone who doesn’t want one is wildly unfair to that child and will deeply hurt them. For life.

My coworker says she’s begging her kids for grandkids. And I asked her why do parents obsess with their children giving them grand kids. And she said it’s bc the things she wasn’t able to do for her kids she wants to do for her grandkids. Things she took for granted she wants to make up now with the grandkids. My co worker is such a sweetheart and we’re both from different countries. But she gave me the most reasonable reason as to why they want the grandkids. I still feel like it’s more than an ego thing, but I finally understand their perspective. Still not going to do it though. I’m just happy she explained it.

I didn’t want kids because I thought I would be a terrible mother. My husband thought I would change my mind which I didn’t intend to but we got drunk together one night and ended up with a kid. He wanted kids but didn’t want to take care of them. I ended up being a good mom mostly but after my son was born(2nd kid) I was put on birth control that made me psychotic. My husband really F-ing should have taken the kids away from me while the med got out of my system. With my first when I was having troubling thoughts my mom told me to shut up. I managed to not kill either kid because I was sane enough to recognize that the med and hormones were causing the problem. I find it highly disturbing when partners or family don’t recognize the new mom isn’t doing well because pregnancy and birth aren’t easy.

2:04 I can’t imagine the pressure he put on her. He’s disgusting

That is so sad. It makes me feel grateful to have a partner who also doesn’t want children.

As a family therapist I never understand when people think not having kids is selfish. I think it’s insightful and mature. Selfish is like the Dick in this story that persuaded his partner to do something she had consistently said that she didn’t want to do. There’s no happy resolution to the situation now. If it weren’t for the impact on the hapless child, I’d wish he took 100% responsibility for his selfish decision & became a single Dad. I bet he’d change his mind on a lot of things then.

This man is so out of touch, I didn't believe him when he said her pregnancy was "amazing". He doesn't seem to realize his own fantasy from her reality, so I want to know how her pregnancy actually went, because postpartum depression can start before the baby is due. Did he just assume it all went well because that's what women are "supposed to do"? That's a pretty strong reaction out of the blue after 9 months.

"Settle down like every other woman" Some famouse women that never had children: Renée Zellweger, Sarah Paulson, Jane Fallon, Margaret Cho, Oprah Winfrey, Lily Tomlin, Marisa Tomei, Stevie Nicks, Dolly Parton, Jennifer Aniston, Betty White, Anjelica Huston, Dame Helen Mirren, Winona Ryder, Megan Mulally, Gloria Steinem, Sarah Silverman, Lillian Gish (who also never married), Katherine Hepburn, Queen Elizabeth I, Jane Austen, Susan B. Anthony, Mary Cassatt, Georgia O' Keefe, Edith Head, Rosa Parks, Harper Lee, Rita Levi-Montalcini, and I'm sure countless other historical women who never had children.

My ex lied about his fertility when we met. He said he had the same genetic issue that caused his brother to have to adopt his children. I ended up pregnant and I married him to prevent him from having unsupervised visitation, considering his abusive family and his lack of common sense about bringing them around. Also lack of family support on my end- which prevented me from being able to run away (I had just graduated college and was broke). I ended up with anorexia because I was so desperate to have control over my life. I had to get to the point where I recognized I was being abused and feel like I would rather die on the streets than stay with that man. I wish the mom a lot of healing. I'm divorcing now, over 20 years later, because you cannot have a relationship built on lies and reproductive coercion.

And that's why so many people will get with anyone. They think they can eventually train you into the person they want you to become.

I’m a 42 year old woman who always knew I never wanted kids. It’s never even crossed my mind as a possibility. And that’s something I’ve always been upfront about with everyone I dated. It took me a few boyfriends before I realized that literally none of them ever took me seriously. I’d think we were on the same page and then he’d say something about our future kids and I’d be shocked and reiterate that that’s not going to happen. They’d always just laugh it off and tell me I’ll change my mind. I finally learned to only date men who emphatically stated that they didn’t want kids. Never had a problem after that. Happily married and childfree now for 10 years.

This man sounds exactly like my ex boyfriend in every way. I’m so glad I left him and I’m so glad to be 24 and child free by choice. This is a great reminder that my personal choices for MY life are more important than appeasing my nagging emotionless unempathetic partner.

He didn't want that baby, he wanted her tied down. She relented, let him talk her into something she didn't want & now she's unhappy. Plus, poverty. Nope.

I am childfree and I should get a standing ovation and a gold medal for not having kids. I know I would be a shitty mother. Because I myself was NOT "parented" well. Case closed.

Post partum depression is no joke

Pressing anyone to have kids never ends well, it always leads to disaster.

It's almost like coercing an unwilling participant into having a child doesn't magically transform them into a maternal being full of unconditional love. And you should really leave more room than the bare minimum to finance raising a child. There's a lot of reasons you might be in for more than the fundamentals typical babies come with.

It’s awful that people that immature are out there getting married and having kids. Ladies, you have to be more firm with your needs and desires. This man is completely clueless but this woman folded and she shouldn’t have.

I just saw the responses on TT (meaning story was also shared and read there), and maaaaan people were going IN on him as they should. His replies were so pitiful, and he admitted he only wanted a child because he's an only son and need to "carry on the last name." That's the dumbest reason to want a child, yet men for real keep this excuse rolling 🙄 Now he's crying about wanting to stay with his wife and giving up the child for adoption if it meant for her to stay. I hope she dips on him. I definitely see divorce in the future, and since he wanted the child despite not listening to his WIFE'S woes, he should get custody and leave her alone.

THE HORROR! I really don't know what else to say. This is my *nightmare*! 😩😭 How traumatic for her and the child 😅 how very patriarchal of this disgusting man!!! It's the year 2022 for crying out loud!!

My advice might be controversial, but I think it would be better for the wife to leave and also better for the child, so it doesn't grow up with the knowledge that it wasn't wanted (kids are wise, they know). The husband wanted the kid, so he can raise it and the child will most likely be much better off. If she didn't want the baby in the first place, this situation is probably a mix of PPD and the realisation in the cold light of day that her life is forever changed or ruined depending on from which perspective. I never really thought of having children except as an abstract vision of the future when I was a child, but when I was 16 I was an au pair for a family with 4 kids and even though the work load was low and it was a lot of fun, the sheer 24/7 nature of kids, the demands, constant need for snacks, messed up house, messed up car, being a taxi to violin lessons, tae kwondo, football and don't even mention the tantrums - it was never-ending for the mother and the father strolled in from his job and wondered what the big deal was - oh and then he left the wife for another (child free) woman. No thanks, not for me!

It amazes me that a man wants to pressure a woman to have a child she doesn't want to then also push the full parental responsibility on to her once the child HE wanted is here

That poor woman! Her story is not the first I've heard and it reaffirms my decision to remain childfree. With my mental health issues pregnancy and parenthood is a really bad and potentially dangerous life path for me; that said, even if I was assured it would be safe for me to procreate I wouldn't want to and I never will. I'm so grateful I have a partner who is also childfree, that makes all the difference. Common priorities and goals matter, especially when it comes to bringing more humans into the world.

Post partum depression is real, even among women who desperately wanted a baby and were looking forward to motherhood.

Put the man in a locked room alone with the baby and see how he feels after a few hours. Let him deal with the constant crying, the struggle of bottle feeding, constantly changing diapers, and not being able to do what he wants when he wants. Not being able to sleep. He'll be the one to 'change his mind'. I'm 27 and have enough problems in my life. Adding a baby would be disastrous for me.

I feel like this dude just needs to go be a single dad and get a lot of therapy so he can find joy in the decision he made. And I hope this woman is able to heal and find someone new to share the world with.

The husband wanted the baby, not his wife. He pressured her into having the baby, so he should be the one caring for his child. He needs to be far more supportive and understanding of his wife.

This story almost happened to me. Thankfully I had been on the pill for so long, the few months during which we tried for a baby were not enough for ovulation to start happening again, and then he left me. Thankfully.

This reminds me of another story, maybe one that was on Reddit I’m not sure, where the guy pretty much forced his wife to have two children. Their lives before the kids was perfect. She never wanted kids either and before they had kids, they got to go and do whatever they wanted. His wife was working her dream job and, according to him, was very happy. He started to want children, although he knew she didn’t. He even threatened to divorce her, so she gave in and had one or maybe two kids for him. And after that their entire lives changed. She was also constantly sad and crying all the time obviously because she has children she did not want. It got so bad that she was unable to work and had to quit her job. And she was also unable to do household tasks, but the one thing that he was absolutely upset about was because they hadn’t had sex in almost 2 years. He blames her for what’s going on. His mom had to come over to care for the kids and all she did was talk bad about his wife. And now he’s all on the internet asking for advice. These people are so clueless.

I love how he tries to get sympathy by basically admitting they shouldn't have had the child and it's not what he expected and trashing her for not being the same as she was before being coerced into having a child.

this reminded me of a different but similar story with a happy ending. I think it was on legaladvice but it would be wacky time to try to find it (deleted but i'm sure i archived it before it disappeared) in it, the same thing happened - man coerces woman into having a baby. it feels like the man thought that by having the woman give birth to his child he can insert himself into his life. woman doesn't want kids so she *gave him full custody and pays for the child support*. However she does not want anything to do with the child and so the man is crying to legal advice for ways to *Force* the woman to spend time with him and the child thankfully he was ripped apart in the comments.

This guy dosent want a wife, he wants a slave, refuses to listen to her or give her ay agency. Then throws a self pity party. This poor kid. Yes the wife should run.

This is such a horrible story...I hope anyone who wants to remain child free like me, will continue to do so

I'm 43 and have ALWAYS known since I was a little kid myself that I didn't want children. I did SO much self reflection to make sure I was sure and it only ever strengthened my mind. It's nice to be at an age where people have stopped trying to convince me that I'll change my mind.

Sometimes people (both men and women alike) think that if they foist obligation on their partner, that the partner will come around and settle down. Sometimes women get pregnant to have their boyfriends to marry them; and men get their wifes pregnant so that they become responsible mothers. And then when the partner does not live up to their expectations "he left me with a kid, he's a bad man" and "she hates our son, she a bad mother". Perhaps it would be best for her to leave. He wanted the kid, let him go raise him as a single dad.

My heart breaks for both the mother and the child. I don't think men understand how draining it is for a mother to care for a baby. Even for women who do want children, they are depleted in every single way physically, mentally, and emotionally every single day. But for women who want to have children, plenty of them feel the challenges they face is worth it because they love and wanted their child. But his wife never wanted children. Also it helps when the mother is in a situation where she wants the baby, she takes care of the infant, but the husband helps with taking care of her when she's emotionally distraught, when she's frustrated, when he does things to help her around the house, when he pampers her and does things to make child rearing a little easier. But it sounds like this husband lacks empathy, I bet he expects his wife to take care of the baby, to take care of him and all the household chores and he doesn't bother to take care of her or help her in any way and he is clueless to why his wife wants to runaway and leave both of them. This husband is only thinking of himself and it sounds like he wants to call cps on his wife not to help her, but to punish her for not taking care of the child the way he wants to. I hope this woman leaves this situation, that she gives up her parental rights, leaves this selfish husband who only thinks of himself, and the wife finds a good support group of women who have been in her shoes and maybe she gets counselling for postpartum depression.

The best solution in this case would be for him to stay home with the baby and she become the provider. Women don't have to stay home simply because they birthed a baby, the Dad can stay home watching the baby.

He didn't get her to agree. He pressured, nagged, begged, put ultimatums, you name It. That man does not care about her, her needs, her wants. He found a woman to be a vessel for all the social boxes that He wanted ticked.

I know that I'm a little bit late but I truly feel sorry for this woman who's clearly said that she didn't want children but was coerced into having a child anyway.... I'm glad that I stayed true to myself and stood my ground against having children that I never wanted to have or getting married to be bossed around and probably be disrespected and cheated on and being treated like shit!!! From my personal experience, I find that most men are self centered narcissistic and entitled jerks who think that they're entitled to a woman's body for their benefit!!! I'm glad that I'm a 56 year old Black woman who's happily childfree, single and at peace!!! I'll take a hard pass on children and marriage!!! No thanks I'm good with my peaceful, quiet and drama free life!!!

An adult really knows if they want to have kids or not. There's an actual FB page of people regretting their decisions to have children.

I really wish she had filed for a divorce when he started to coerce her!

I think it is better for them to split now and she to go her own way. Unfortunately the husband doesn't seem like he'd be a good parent either. Maybe the grandparents could help. Husband seems like a totally clueless dummy.

Poor woman - makes me wonder what planet I am on. I never had children - was told by an older sister that I had been selfish for doing this. I had my reasons which I felt were legitimate. I love kids but I can tell you that I would not have been a good mother.

I feel terrible for the wife. He’s coerced and forced her to become the kind of woman and wife that HE WANTS, he doesn’t care about her as a person at all. I hope she divorces him and gives up her rights to the child that she never wanted. I also hope that the wife learns to grow a shiny backbone and stand in her values and boundaries moving forward an not give into being pressured by anyone to have more children.

These couples who battle financially and then have kids 🤢👎👎👎

His thoughts - "when you know, you know" - what Im guessing her thoughts are - "you never really know a person"

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The husband’s comment of we’ll they just need to get over it and move on really makes him sound robotic on top of his original comment. That woman needs to divorce him and go to therapy while he can raise the son on his own as clearly that was all he ever wanted from her was a kid and now he has it. Pissed me off when he complained about barely able to afford formula. He was the one who wanted to have a child so he should also have been financially prepared. Having a child and not being able to afford one is irresponsible. I feel so bad for that child. When they get older they are going to find out their birth was from coercion not out of love. 😿

This really upsets me. I've had 3 though I never wanted kids. Our 1st was not planned, our 2nd kinda was because I feel its good for children to have siblings. It was their father who coerced me into going through with it and I deeply resent him. When I was pregnant with my first, he quit his job making me bread winner. When I returned to work, I was exhausted as I breastfed (to save me money) which also meant ALL of the responsibilities were on me. I was the only one to get up in the night and morning. He would sleep-in every weekend because..... "its not my fault you've got tits!". I lost that job due to a nervous breakdown. Throughout motherhood, he sleeps-in 4-7 days a week, drinks every night and only works part-time. Which for me, means sleep-deprivation and abject poverty. God I hate him so much!!! After the first 2, I said many times that I'd rather be dead than have another kid with him. So when I got pregnant again I was utterly distraught: 1) We can't afford it -I need a job. 2) We do not have the room and 3) I'm not worth him getting out of bed. "It will be different this time" he said HAHAHA..... Arsehole. Our 3rd child has ASD and special needs. At 7 years old, she still shares my bed because we don't have room. Needless to say, although I love my kids, I am miserable. I have no life, no extended family, no friends. My house is falling down, I have debts coming out my ears and I would rather slit my throat than have sex again.

This is SO messed up and the assumptions being made about the mother just because she is a woman really make me sick. Just like I only learned the other day that many fathers-to-be agree before/during pregnancy that they will share 50% of the child care and go work part-time while secretly assuming that once the baby is actually there, the mother's hormones will make it so that she will want to be with the kid all the time and they actually don't have to work part-time or take that much responsibility. And then they are confused or even angry if the mother insists on the things they agreed on before the child was born. We need to stop assuming women don't really know for themselves what they actually want, it makes me so sick!!

There's a lot of double standard. If a woman married a guy who said he didn't want kids and "expected him to change his mind" they'd say she's naive and wasting her time. If a WOMAN says she doesn't want kids, we're expected to one day change.

Why did he want a child so much if he can't afford one? That's ridiculous.

It boggles my mind that this is the defensive side of this argument, not the offensive side. In other words, it feels like the people who want to pressure people into having kids should be the ones having to explain why, not the other way around.