Thank you so much for making this video about your experience! I can't believe I only came across it now, it's so good and on-point. Your gentle and understanding demeanor when talking about this is perfect, you nailed The Vibe that's effective and appropriate for talking about this fraught subject. I know it takes courage to be open about being autohet, and I commend your bravery. It seriously warmed my heart to hear that my message resonated with you to the degree it has, and also that it has provided you relief from the confusion of "why am I this way". I wrote the book with exactly that hope in mind. Your response is 100% what I'm hoping to create with the book. Thank you for helping to spread word so that our kind can better understand and accept themselves ❤
As someone who has dealt with AGP for as long as I can remember I see so much of myself in this video. You hit on many excellent points and really explain things wonderfully.
What a very humble and genuine presentation. Whatever your struggles and reservations are, do not ever be afraid. It is very clear that you are of very high character.
In this video I called it autogynephilia because at first I was barely aware that autoandrophilia was a word, and if I was barely aware of it’s existence, I figured most people, even people who were aware of autogynephilia, wouldn’t have any idea what I was talking about. As far as not talking about the symptoms… at the time I was honestly so uncomfortable with them that I didn’t want to talk about them. I’m still actually struggling a lot with that, partially because I had some stuff happen in the last few years that made me really uncomfortable with sex. This is good because it forced me to look more directly at my autogynephilic tendencies and ask myself, “What is that?” But it’s also bad because I’m just uncomfortable with myself. I’m getting more comfortable with the idea as time passes. But that’s why I’ve skirted around it in the first few videos.
Philip does in no way signify "fetish", it is from the Greek root meaning "love". Philosophy does not mean a fetish for wisdom, but rather a love for wisdom.
I am a gay person who is currently transitioning. I still like men so I’m not sure how these experiences apply to us because we have 0 attraction to the opposite sex
Yeah, gay/lesbian people who transition really don’t have the same experience as AGP/AAP folks. I guess it’s still helpful for you guys to know about us, because more and more people are saying the troublemakers in the trans community are AGP/AAP. (Anyone can be a troublemaker, but there are definitely some AGP/AAP folks behaving pretty inappropriately.) So, if anyone ever gives you any grief about it, at least you know what they’re talking about. I don’t know nearly as much about gay trans folks. I have seen quite a few lesbians and gays complaining that the trans movement is erasing gays/lesbians, so I’d be very curious to know what your experience with that has been, if you feel comfortable sharing.
You need to be happy with yourself! I am a straight older man, and I love everyone. My granddaughter is a lesbian and Her best friend is gay. I take them out to dinner often. I have only one set of instructions: be happy in your own skin and do not let anyone tell you how to be. Love you, you have beautiful eyes no matter how you identify ♥️
I’m just sipping an ice tea on our upper deck on a sunny Sunday afternoon in Nor Cal. I am a decent, normal and loving man of 73. I’ve dressed since 4, did hormone treatment but financially could not finish the process although I’m dressed casually today with casual makeup. I’ve been to the trash pile and cleaned the garage with my wife of 25 years today, she’s shopping, I’m relaxing and watching you. I too get up on the morning, shower and put on my mascara and shadow, concealer and foundation, and of course a lipstick for however I feel today. So, we’re out here and living and loving life. Imagine feeling this way in 1980 when you had to go to the library to find medical info on ….Transvestism!!! No internet, no info. And yes, I always feel pretty but also a bit sexy just as my wife does. It has had sexual overtones for 6 decades then flattened out to just being normal. Thank you and you are calm and intelligent and are genuinely appreciated. Peace
There's nothing wrong with AGP imo. I think so many people take it to an extreme in the sense that they especially gatekeep experience through the lens of this all being some sexual fetish, when I think it's more complex than that.
It can be a sexual and romantic fetish. Meaning you can get your romantic needs fulfilled, not just your sexual. Kind of like how a man can enjoy hearing a female voice near him without needing to 'bang', agp's feel that same sense from their own actions without needing another person to fulfil it.
Very interesting seeing this video after just watching the other one where you say you're definitely not trans. It's been very interesting following your story... Your video about older guys at strip clubs popped up in my feed, and now 6 or so hours later, I'm here. I'm eager to see the rest of your journey.
I loved your video. I am a brazillian transgender woman and I saw Phil´s video last week. I would love to talk with you openly about the subject, since accepting my feminine embodiement fantasies has improved a lot my quality of life
I am 24 years old from Greece.🇬🇷here there is big taboo about this. I dont like men. Only women and transexual women. Also i love to be boy but sometimes in sex only with my gf i love to try mew things and she dresses me like woman. I wear wig too and she does my wake up. I love it. I want to express my female feminine energy somehow. I am so happy with my gf. Nowdays we bought a strapon too for pegging.😊
autogynephilia is all about shame. and i don't think that there's a female equivalent of that. because female sexuality is not shamed in the same way male sexuality is. even if a woman publicly identifies as a 'pervert' they aren't treated socially as such. but males are expected to be 'asexual' beings. almost all agp transsexuals hide their feelings and practice their agp secretly for years before 'coming out as trans'. because a man wanting or trying to be more feminine is an extremely shameful thing, especially if he doesn't look naturally feminine. but of course it's totally acceptable for women. so women will be envied for that. especially lesbians, since they're assumed to enjoy their own femininity the same way agp's want to. so the original transvestic fetishism transforms into anatomic dysphoria, and to the desire to medically transition, and to be accepted and treated as a woman. but once they've come out, there's no way back. he's a known sexual deviant now, and the only way to avoid being treated as such is to pass as a woman. and since hormone replace therapy suppresses most paraphilic sex drive, they're no longer motivated by autogynephilia. only the desire to escape the shame of being a man.
then why do they hate so much if they are told that they are men, even if they know they are? isn't it just the definition of shame?@@janinebrittanica4314
@@user-vj4vs4zu3h probably because most people that insist on telling someone they re a man 1. Literally think the person is delusional and doesn't actually know that they are biologically male, which is insulting because virtually no one who's trans doesn't know their birth sex (unlike when someone tells someone who just ate that they have food on their face) and /or 2. the people that say these types of things typically don't do it for any constructive reason, so it's intuited that those people may indeed be assholes. Gender dysphoria doesn't equal shame with your birth sex. If it does, then you likely have some problems that have nothing to do with needing to transtion. Just because someone suffers from dysphoria doesn't mean they're ashamed of who they are. Why would these two be conflated? Let me know if you have questions?
the problem i have is with the non consensual participation with someones fetish, i have no problem with what people choose to do on their own. but i don't want to be coned into participation. (also fetish is not a bad word, a lot of fetishes are not small or minor, in some cases it can be the entire identity) also, thank you for talking about this, acknowledging this could help a lot of people
Nonconsensual participation in AGP/AAP fetishes is actually a really interesting topic that I need to explore more. A lot of people look at AGP/AAP and assume it’s all just a sexual fetish and that AGP/AAP people who display gender nonconformity are behaving sexually. Sometimes they are. I’ve seen a lot of young women cross dressing and taking seductively posed pictures, and that’s undeniably supposed to be sexual. But sometimes AAP/AGP gender nonconforming behaviors are just comfortable. I feel at home working a “man’s job” with other men. I work hard to pull my own weight, and I feel proud of the fact that can hold my own. It’s gender nonconforming behavior, and it is probably motivated by my AAP, but it makes me feel happy and comfortable, and that should be acceptable. I think the nonconsensual element is very objectionable- just because a man puts on a dress that doesn’t mean he should be allowed to use a women’s bathroom and insist that people refer to him as “ma’am”. At the same time, the dress itself isn’t always entirely sexual, and that’s something I think people don’t realize about AGP/AAP. Sometimes it just feels comfortable.
@@oakleavesandonions771 i agree, i dont think its all that. but i have read on the AGP reddit that some of these guys use the fact that they are allowed into the bathroom and that we call them "she" (sorry for the crude language) is used as masturbation fodder. i'm not saying any of this to make people feel bad. as i am around the same age as you and also a woman that thought i might be trans. i just ordered the same book you have because i suspect we are in the same boat. when you said you loved being confused as a boy when you were younger that really hit home for me. i was very lucky in the sense that i had a great therapist (trans man) that helped me figure out that most of what i thought was dysphoria was really my dads misogyny and childhood trauma. i suspect the remainder of what i thought for years was some dysphoria is actually AAP. the reason i said fetish is because i've lived in that world of BDSM for a really long time. and this was very common there as well as other philias, a lot (not all) of the AGP stuff was and still seems to be linked to amputee stuff too. dont get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with kinks and fetishes. i will defend the right of many of the men to dress and do as they like, but i can feel and tell the difference when i'm roped into non consent territory, that is the only time i draw the line.
@@dreanki It’s a really good book. I hope it helps you find answers. As far as AGP using it for sexual fantasy. That’s interesting. I know that it seems to be more sexual for some people than others. For myself, it never felt particularly sexual. When I told my therapist about it she seemed horrified, which caused me to go back and look at AGP/AAP more closely. It still doesn’t feel sexual to me, but I’ve read some extremely sexual accounts by AAP women, so I guess it really does just vary by the individual.
@@oakleavesandonions771 yeah, it never really felt that way for me either. i'm wondering and exploring the idea that i was conditioned to value being more masculine due do my dad hating women and making me behave like a servant for my brothers and him. a lot of value was put on the boys in my family. they got to do may life mile stones before me (despite me being the oldest) women were heavily sexualized, my brothers thoughts were taken seriously, they were helped with carriers. i was told i had to learn girl stuff so i would make a good wife later. that was my only purpose. i really thought/hoped that i would grow a penis during puberty. my theory is that this is why we see more sexualization in AGP as opposed to AAP.
Not all transexuals are AGP. Just like all transsexuals are NOT AGP. AGP is a very real thing that exists, the question is how can we help them fulfil this sexuality without harm to themselves or society?@@oakleavesandonions771
Im an agp transexual myself and I ve accepted this ...always remember euphoria and dysphoria are the two faces of the same medal ,at one point you must experience both and there is a lot of misconception around agp and aap as you talked you consider this a pervert thing .ths is just cultural ...you should stop to consider this a pervert things it is not beneficial for your inner self, First of all you not chosen to be like this and you should receive shame about it, secondary its plenty of agp who are living their life privately without being public freak , another misconception Is that , is not being agp a fetish , its the entire male sexuality fetishistic ...a man with an obsession for female bum or breast ....its a fetish , but its culturally accepted for a man being attracted to a woman , with agp , its same , but agp is a misdirected heterosexuality where the erotic target is yourself in most part and is not an external person (women)...however ...the fact its sexual its just because its extremely euphoric....thing is that's we live in a society where in order to be accepted you must suffer to be accepted, if you are motivated by pleasure expecially sexual ..it become a gross and sin thing because of catholic traditional belief
Wasn't sure at first regarding the video, because that is one isolated case, the ‘It’s mam’ video reference as an autogynephilic person. Because as you eluded later in the video that you would only be able to know if they told you. I know it can be easy to jump to conclusions based on presentation alone yet myself included have to be careful labeling people, as some trans people don't have the means to transition due to health concerns, money etc. I like your sarcasm at parts, lol (not me hehe) Recently got some issues with my gender because of lots of issues (depression, anxiety), which can blur gender dysphoria and even intensify it. I'm not trans, yet imagine taking HRT than realizing that I feel better looking androgynous yet those underlying issues still there. I actually put HRT on pause, not intentionally (due to life and things that has more precedence over looking androgynous). I had a porn addiction in highschool, that opened me up to trans porn, hentai, BDSM, and am 35 now, although it's pretty non existent now, that's attraction partly shaped me into who I am, someone who is attracted to androgynous folks. Yet am sure I would probably be that person anyway it's just that porn revealed something that was already there, not creating it. 2 years ago I started to be more androgynous myself, being a guy who like feminity in all forms (not attracted to guys or hyper masculinity at all). So like you, I started questioning myself when I started that process of experiment with feminine clothes. I never felt that sexual urge strongly being that person yet the way I understand it now, is that I became the androgynous person I wanted to date. So the desire became inward instead of toward someone else. I also struggle to maintain relationships and most likely have ADHD and some form of mild autism (as I also stutter but not that much as I get older). The sexual component is there, and one of the reasons I wanted to transition was so that I could have no sex drive, in order to be better positioned in life ( yet I think that would have solve the sex drive part and am still working towards addressing my ADHD, mild dyslexia and autism as that affected my life the most, so transition would actually make it harder with jobs and the stressed that come with being a trans person in social and definitely work setting). My family expect me to perform well in life (I do too, yet I have legit learning barriers that I have neglected all my life due to stigma with seeing a psychiatrist from Caribbean culture misunderstandings) and don't even want to accept me as a feminine guy so imagine transitioning fully. I know am not trans and also I wouldn't have done it for them as I explained yet this video helped me see that I would have probably detransitioned. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-bmYZTDAjjO4.htmlsi=V7sxeLhSchZIgiyf This guy was trans for 8 years and I resonate with probably 97% of what he said especially liking feminine people, not being attracted to men in general, and also having lots of shame about being attracted to transwomen and some hyper feminine men and also shame in presenting in an androgynous way. The sexual component is there for me too (although I think like you said it's more an euphoria for me and feeling good but also being in love with my androgynous self (I have to admit that I think there is a high narcissistic component to it, but I think also that's because the sexual drive is directed inward and having a partner that am genuinely attracted to and care for would redirect that toward her) would still want to be androgynous because I genuinely enjoy that esthetic now for me yet would prefer like him to experiment with it with a supportive partner and mainly in safe environment like at home or date nights The other 3%, is that he started crossdressing very young and I started 2 years ago at 33. Another video (that helped me tremendously) is this video: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-0Ke4WafDWxE.htmlsi=bf5Nh5yNMUmKbVgS because the topic and information in it made me understand a TON about myself. I don't expect myself to completely not think about androgyny in my case, transition in his case, yet I understand the way one can trick themselves into thinking that they are trans, especially with AGP and dysphoria is in the mix. I'm sorry that you had to go through that painful therapy session. That's like the opposite of getting help and I can try to imagine imagine the horror seeking help and having disgust reflected back at you 🙁 Also I have never heard the androphile side and so your video is absolutely endearing so thank you for your openness and vulnerability in sharing your experience.
Nothing but respect for your courage to talk about these things & your complete understanding of yourself. AGP does get a bad rap because of extreme cases used as ammunition for transphobia, while at the same time gets completely dismissed as a conspiracy theory by extreme gender ideologues.. Why can't we find a middle ground that aknowleges & helps people?
I can't keep up with your mental health issues. That probably sounds very dismissive. But every time I watch one of your videos it seems like you've found something else, which is the "real thing". Anyway, I hope you find your answers and some happiness.
Oh. That one’s easy. I went to a shitty therapist after being told I had “postpartum depression”. (It wasn’t postpartum depression.) My shitty therapist decided it was bipolar disorder. (It wasn’t bipolar disorder.) After arguing with her for several sessions during which she insisted I had bipolar, I finally broke down and decided she, as the expert, must be right. So then I spent several months trying to treat “bipolar disorder”, which didn’t do any good because I never had bipolar disorder. Finally left the therapist and found a doctor who actually could help me, and now my mental health is A-okay. (I still have ADHD, but that’s been there since I was 12.) If you look at my old videos from before I got sick, I wasn’t posting a new diagnosis every week. That was just the result of me receiving a lot of shitty mental health care. And the autoheterosexuality isn’t a mental health problem as far as I’m concerned. It’s a sexual orientation. There’s a lot of stigma surrounding it- and I do mean a lot- and since this is a channel where I talk a lot about various sex-related issues, it seemed relevant. And honestly, I’ve been kind of wanting a bit of a vacation from the manosphere since a rather large percentage of them hate me for being born with female genitalia, and I already do enough of that on my own. If you aren’t interested in trans issues, that’s totally fine. I’ll still post Tactical Guide to Women videos.
@oakleavesandonions You are possibly remembering your past life as a Lemurian, tell your therapist that! Lol. The genders were combined then. It reminds me of that song/video from Hedwig and the Angry Inch; The Origin of Love. Watch it. Again.
I’m Sorry if you’ve covered this but are there implications for your marriage and how you parent moving forward. How’s the hubby taking this? Thanks 🙏🏼 and glad you have some clarity ✨
I was wondering if I should make a video about that at some point. When I initially told my husband I was transgender, he was extremely upset. After some discussion, I realized he was afraid I wasn’t really transgender and had instead fallen prey to social contagion. Also, trans widows are a thing. I explained to him that I’m an autoandrophile (which was really difficult for me because I wasn’t comfortable with it at all) and he calmed down a lot. Since then he’s been very supportive. I have no interest in transitioning- partially because of the health implications, and partially because of the effects it would have on my family. I love my husband, and I’ve never experienced gender dysphoria extreme enough to warrant medical intervention. My kids don’t need to know.
@@oakleavesandonions771 I'd like to see a video about that since it was one of the first things that popped into my head. Maybe you've already made it and I just haven't gotten there yet.
good video...i can see you are being super cautious not trying to offend the trans curious ..however it's come to my conclusion that there isn't a huge trans spectrum on this matter ..the acid test is if you are attracted to the opposite sex but want to be identified as that opposite sex then you are auto ...and if you think otherwise then you are in denial. it's brutal i know for a lot of trans women lesbians and trans men homosexuals to accept but there it is ..the elephant in the room. Once people can accept this as fact then hopefully there will be less people wishing they had not transitioned because this won't cure their problem, in fact it might make it a whole lot worse. Being auto is ok once you understand exactly what it is ..no big deal...no need to mutilate yourself, just enjoy being auto.
I agree. As I learn more about it I think that ROGD throws the auto/HSTS categories out of balance because many of the young people seeking transition these days are neither gay nor auto- they just saw trans influencers online and thought that transition would solve their problems. I also think the absolute demonization of autoheterosexuality in the trans community really holds us all back quite a lot. AGP has become synonymous with “pervert” and people seem to really struggle to wrap their heads around the idea that a person can be sexually different without turning into some sort of werewolf sex monster.
Dressing up in female clothing used to turn me on LOTS but since coming out and being out as a woman 24/7 it doesn't have the same excitement. I could say that my sexuality is changing because i am not being controlled by testosterone anymore. But I do realize that the male part on my body gave me the desire to do things the man way. But even when my testo level was not suppressed I still wanted to be penetrated by a man as I imagined a man penetrating me. I do appreciate your exploration of this because I felt this was who I was for years but since I have abandoned that Autogynephelia as misogynistic and hogwash but there is some value in exploring this. And I appreciate your honesty!
AGP evolves into a romantic preference eventually. Just like you're super hot for your significant other for the first couple of years, it dies off and becomes more of a romantic comfort. That's where you're at now. AGP is not misogynistic hogwash, but very real. Here's the thing, you shouldn't be ashamed. Its part of your sexuality, like being gay. If you've found a way that lets you live a life that works for you without hurting others, enjoy.
My response to them is, in my case for sure, was I was too afraid to lose something or be out of God's will to move forward with transitioning. But I was freed from that fear by fellow believers who said they could not change anybody and then it made sense why I didn't change. Plus my estrogen levels were in the low to medium female range.
U. R a very beautiful smart. Woman. U talk a lot of scene. Do what makes you happy. An don't worry about what people think about you we. All r different.
This is the only channel I've found speaking of AGP without half the comments cheering the bravery AGPer on for uncovering the dirty truth of trans people. Unfortunately it seems the majority of those who are interested in learning about AGP are anti trans. I wonder if part of the reason why the feedback here is different is because you are female and not viewed as a "threat". In any case great content!
I disagree with the idea that most women who are in a relationship try to look good to be sexually attractive to our partner. We don’t have to . We have them. Have you seen how most women dress when alone with their husband. Sloppy sweats, messy hair, no makeup. Out of love we dress up so they can be proud of us in public or enjoy sex with us more.
You'd be wrong. Speak for yourself. Statistically speaking and from experience, women strive to look good for their partner. It's biological. Accept it.
I don’t think there are women with autogynephilia. From everything I’ve heard, it’s a separate thing. It’s very normal for people, either men or women to look at themselves in a mirror and think they look sexy. It’s also normal for people, men or women, to feel sexy inside their own bodies. Autogynephilia, however, is a sexual desire to become a woman or at least to perceive oneself as a woman. For example, there are autogynephilic men who become sexually aroused at the idea of having a period. I guarantee you women- even women who think they look sexy- do not find the idea of having a period arousing.
@@oakleavesandonions771 One study from 2008 by Jaimie Veale found that cis women experience arousal of the idea of themselves in a female body comparable to what Blanchard found in trans women. In fact another study by Charles Moser found that 93% of cis women experience that feeling to some degree with 28% experiencing it at high levels. Also there is this video by Anthony Padilla called I spent the day with autosexuals and they had a cis woman who actually wanted to marry herself, a trans woman, and a trans man. Also I as a bisexual trans woman never found being a woman arousing in any way shape or form for me this cured my gender dysphoria also sexuality and being trans are nowhere linked at all, also periods is something I wish I never knew about coz thinking about that is just gross like nooo.
@@HeathenGrannyFair enough. But that just goes to further prove that there many, many different things being tossed under the label “transgender” and many of them don’t align with each other at all.
@@oakleavesandonions771This is feeling libido in a feminine way. For female (normal as they can do something with it) and males (makes dysphoria as the libido is stuck).
@@oakleavesandonions771 Haha, it is extremely toxic but it’s good for networking w/ likeminded people. I’m glad the algorithm sent me you I think we’ll have a lot to talk about. Is there another way to communicate outside of comments like email or discord?
why are we still using the name karen to describe toxic women.....really hurtful to the women out there with the name karen who are kind, gentle and good.
Sadly, that’s the term people use. It sucks, but sometimes names experience dramatic changes is popularity and social interpretation. It probably sucked a lot for guys named Adolph when WWII started. I know a girl named Barbie, and she hates it. I remember a few years back hearing about a girl named Isis who more or less had to change her name because of what was happening in the Middle East- which is a shame because it’s a beautiful name. It sucks, but again, that’s the term that people use.
Holy Eucharist is most essential as a healing remedy. The bread of the Divine Physician. We become what we consume. We become more like Christ if we eat His body and blood . Practice charity, pray pray pray and fast for Peace. Jesus loves everyone. He loves you.
Perhaps you are just over analyzing yourself. Do what makes you happy - don’t try to analyze why. Everyone is odd somehow - there is no “normal” (most try very hard to hide it). So no need to put yourself in a “category”
@@oakleavesandonions771 I know. But the desire to have a dick is in all woman. No men have the desire to lose a dick. He has the anguish to lose it. Hence you can not compare both. Even less think they are the same.
That’s odd. I just checked it and got audio. But I only logged out of my account and checked using the same device and ISP address. Don’t know if that would make a difference. (It’s too late for me to do anything else at the moment.) Let me know if you do get it working. Good luck.
Short answer is yes. But it’s more complicated than that. There’s also layers of social aspects to being a man that I want. I’m lucky enough that I didn’t fall for the myth of “male privilege” but there’s still so much about being a man that I want for myself. Any time I bring it up men are so quick to say, “yeah, but you don’t see the bad side of it.” The thing is, in many cases I do. I grew up living a life that sounds identical to so many things men have described to me. I acclimated to it because that was the only life I had. But then, after dealing with so many of the “downsides” of manhood, I didn’t get any of the accompanying bonuses. Honestly, I feel a bit cheated. Anyway, the point is that I sometimes get the impression that AAPs are often (but not always) less strongly sexually motivated than AGPs. And that only makes sense because our body chemistry is fundamentally less powerfully sexually driven. So, while I do get aroused at the idea of being a man, it’s more like the frosting on top of a ten layer cake instead of the whole cake.
@@oakleavesandonions771 i myself had to reject autogynephelia as a theory or explanation because i do not consider myself a homosexual but conservative religious thinking parading as the truth of things continues to try to keep me bound. I consider this the dead end of gender binary "reality".
