I’m so sad. I’m attached to a person who isn’t able to give me the closeness and love I’m very desperate for. I’m clingy, I feel awful every time he pushes me away. He shows signs of love and wanting to be intimate with me, but isn’t acknowledging it. After a year of pulling back and forth, he doesn’t want to be anything else but friends. Even though I appreciate our friendship, the pain of not having him as a lover is too much. I’d love to be able to distance myself and give my nervous system a break, but we are tied in a very complicated situation and I have to keep seeing him for the next few months, but it’s so hard to move on while we’re in each other’s lives. Thanks for your videos Briana, your guidance has been essential for my journey.
We met 2 years ago. He was the one who pursued me and showed interest. We started talking, but before I know it, the honeymoon phase was over. We talked less. At times he would stop talking to me for weeks. Then he would show up again. We hung out one time. I don’t even know if that’s considered a date. When we do talk, he would love bomb me and say all the intimate and lovey stuffs. Then he would disappear, again. Finally I poured out my feelings, and told him how I feel when he goes missing. He acknowledged and apologized. We haven’t talked since then. That’s a week ago. We never labeled us. I don’t know what we are. I don’t see a future with him. Maybe it’s time to let go.
I am in this situation NOW. Friendship, with all the extras. Daily,multiple, texts. Sleepovers once or twice a week. He says staying in friendship eliminates anxiety. My huge core wound fears get triggered on the regular. My wise mind wants to go with this dynamic. My emotional triggers want me to slam the door and get away. I’m afraid I’m setting myself up…. I fear I’m just holding someone else’s place. He did say he likes my company, likes our sleepovers, doesn’t feel like this about anyone else, and isn’t interested in dating. But we are “just friends”. Though, friendship is the best foundation to a romantic relationship I believe….. oh boy…. 😅😂🤷🏻♀️🧘🏽♀️ (I am fearful avoidant. Classic back and forth, in and out. Very self aware. In my soul, I know I am always ok and safe and exactly where I should be. My higher self says to go with the flow, let the fears subside). This was a great video for me today! Perfect timing! Thank you 😊
I'm so glad the video resonated with you! It sounds like you're navigating through a deeply introspective phase, balancing between your wise mind and emotional triggers. It's powerful that you're aware of your fears and how they play into this dynamic. Remember, honoring your needs and boundaries is crucial, even in friendships with 'extras.' If your soul feels unrest, it might be a sign to reevaluate what you truly desire from this connection. Sending you strength and clarity. 🌟
I am realising that I'm in this situation for a long time. I'm with my partner for almost 17 years now and we have a child. We met at school and became best friends. I was with someone else at that time. We definitely were more than friends but told ourselves that at 17 it's ok we're young. Long story short, I finally broke up with my bf to be with my partner. He always took care of me as he likes to say, and he has doubted our relationship 3 times in 17 years... First one he met a girl and the last being 1 year ago, telling me that he can't do this anymore. He doesn't want to lie by saying he loves me but he will never leave me... Honestly, I'm lost. Plus, he doesn't understand the boundaries in relationships. Multiple times, he gifted inappropriate gifts to his girl friends ( (jewelry and a spa massage) without hiding it to me. And he does not understand why I'm upset. We talked and agreed to try again and put some effort and honesty in our relationship. He does boyfriend stuff, he takes care of me but in fine he says that he can't say that he loves me 😟 So I try to heal myself and think about leaving him but I think it is unfair that I have to make that move as I am not the one that lost interest 😣
Resonated with this 👍🏽 Dealing with overcoming my anxious-avoidant situationship now, we’ve been friends for almost 2 years started off dating for two weeks only for him to shut me down and put me in the friend zone, and then offer FWB, as a consolation. Slipped up a couple of times because I was navigating my own feelings around it and blurred the lines between us a bit. Stood my ground for the most part on being strictly platonic, but slipped up again during winter which made things more complicated because he was acting like a boyfriend in the way he shows affection towards me. Now I’m pretty determined to leave him in the past bcuz we can’t work as friends, lovers, FWB, or BF/GF. Breaks my heart but I’ll be OK. It’s definitely not what I want as the outcome but I don’t know how to make this work.
Thank you for sharing. It sounds like you've been on a complex journey of self-discovery and boundary-setting, which is both brave and necessary. Your strength in recognizing what doesn't serve your soul-centered security is commendable. It's okay to mourn the loss of what could have been, but remember, every step back is a step toward finding a relationship that truly aligns with your highest self. Keep nurturing your inner security and know that you're moving towards a love that honors your fullest self!
I have been in this situation before. This type of person is not interested in a relationship with you, may genuinely like you, but is using you for companionship and maybe even flirtation or sex, until they meet someone who fits their ideals. Usually, this person has issues with self -esteem and their ideal partner will be younger and hotter or have superficial qualities that stroke their ego. I wish I was better at identifying them right off the bat, because it's like at first things seem normal, and then you wonder about your ptsd if making you crazy, and then you get lured into quicksand.
I wholeheartedly agree with your comments. I learned this in my situation and have told him I no longer desire a relationship with him. His comment back was " I see" and we are at peace . I wish him well
Same here this girl put me thru for 5 months want to be friends but doing girlfriend things calling me everyday telling me about her day shit i spent the night few times and got intimate with her as well… then all sudden want to be friends nahh bucko can’t do that
I can navigate the in between but I'm seeing others can't. So, I am mirroring them to know how I can act, and it's unfair , I feel I'm never heard , because, I am always trying to sift and avoid further conflict. I always have to be the one that create the ease.
Its mind boggling how you can go from being intimate with them to the friend zone, defies normal relational dynamics. Insanely blindsiding and there's no pain like it.
