Dating advice for spiritually-minded professionals, who want to attract a high-quality partner. This channel provides actionable dating tips and relationship advice, based on a spiritual approach to attachment styles.
🌟 Sound Familiar? You’re successful in your career, but still struggling in love, and can't figure out why. The attributes that make you a workplace star-like ambition and control-trap you in a “Success-Driven Heartbreak Cycle," attracting partners who stimulate painful worthiness issues.
But don't despair. Here, we shift the focus from external validation to internal alignment, with the essence of your spirit. I call this “Soul-Centered Security.” Emotional resilience becomes your superpower, freeing you from early attachment injuries and anxieties.
Ready for a long-lasting, soul-shaking relationship? You're in the perfect spot.
What if I've tried a few dozen different hobbies, and I just don't enjoy or see value in anything other than a high-quality romantic relationship? And honestly i also don't want my partner to love me because i have my own hobbies so we spend as little time together as possible. I want my partner to want to spend as MUCH time together as possible, and i want his universe to revolve around me. I just truly don't understand how a relationship can be worthwhile without it. Without it, it feels transactional. And just to be clear, I'm not saying i need or even want to actually spend a ton of time together. I just want a partner who craves being with me. How much time we actually spend together doesn't matter. I also WANT a partner who i can rely on for validation. Otherwise, what's the point of having a partner? I want more than merely materialistic comforts.
I lost my person. I didn't have a clue about attachment styles until I was ghosted and started doing some research. I found myself to have anxious attachment, and they have dismissive avoidant attachment. My heart is completely broken, and I have been in no contact since the end of May. I asked one question, and they took that question and twisted it into something I never even verbalized. They never answered the question and told me I had them completely f#@$ked up the next day. Then told me that I was never going to change and they were never going to change, and I was ghosted. I did everything to show them that I was there for them in every way possible and got sh#tied on. I don't ever want to experience this kind of coldness or heartache ever again. The whole thing didn't make any sense to me. I am working on my anxious attachment, so hopefully, next time, I can have a healthy relationship with someone, but that will be a long ways down the road, because it's going to take me a good while to heal from this. I have never felt pain like this ever before in my life with any of my other relationship's. At this point, if I ever run across this type of attachment style, I am going to run...it's too much, and the coldness is indescribable. I really trusted this person, and getting ghosted was the outcome. Ghosting to me is very immature and childish.
I literally stormed out of my ex-boyfriends house and said “I’m tired of you not caring”. I wasn’t aware of this attachment style until recently and wish I was more patient. I hope we get back together to give it time for us to make it past his fears and into something stable for the both of us ❤ but phew, it’s definitely a rocky road since I’m an anxious attachment style myself.
It’s unbelievable how my ex and I had these things and then eventually he started pulling away and removing all of these things. I kept telling him I was lonely. I have told him all the things in this video and it still fell apart. It feels vindicating to watch and know I really did try my best to
I feel like we have to talk to them like a baby! 😅 when we need to just be completely honest and say how you actually feel. Like we got to tip toe on egg shells to just cater for them. It’s so much work and energy….and remember it’s always going to be “constant” - it’s not one off
Used to be anxious but now i am so secure that i find myself having the same kind traits as my avoidant husband. I have seen him evolving and coming back to being secure. Deep down they want to feel secure but only on their terms.
It’s hard to explain. It’s almost like Stockholm Syndrome (where the captive ends up loving their captor). The difference is... In the beginning the avoidant love bombs and says things to reel you in... It’s a subtle knowledge in your gut that something is wrong with them, but... The more fun adventures and the more affection and the more quality time spent... You get blinded...
Wow. Just broke up with a woman after four months of dating. She did it by ghosting me which is ironic since we agreed early on we would not do that. It was disrespectful and basically a shitty move. Never have been ghosted before so I am still getting over the shock. On reflection, it is clear I was dating a dismissive avoidant and none of the needs Briana mentioned were being met. I was trying communicate them and work with her but , in the end , she just couldn't or wouldn't go there. A silver lining is I learned a lot about that attachment style, the need to be clear about needs and boundaries ( do NOT self abandon!), and the crucial part of paying attention to your instincts when red flags appear. Love the video both in terms of timeliness and content!!
I came across Briana in just the past 24hrs, and wow... I've been with my wife for 25 years and have struggled with her avoidance for most of it due to childhood trauma. I have learned more in the past 24hrs from Briana than I have in years in terms of better understanding how to communicate with my wife and be there for her (and myself) in a much healthier and regulated way. So thankful I came across her channel.
If you have to beg for curiosity, interest and reciprocity in communication you're in the wrong relationship regardless how the experts may argue that. 🥴
Open communication about our authentic selves is mandatory in a fulfilling relationship, as is leaving room for mistakes - that's how we learn! Great video!
Can we have a fun one like this for avoidants? Or are we supposed to compromise everything (like space, selective sharing, solitude/silence) keeping me comfortable/safe? And in doing so *become* the anxious one while anxious partner becomes.....secure? I guess I'm starting to feel like puzzle pieces that don't fit together should just maybe not be part of the same puzzle.
You're on to something there .. Anxious and avoidants should most definitely NOT be pieced together. It creates what is commonly called the 'pursuit and withdrawal' dynamic.
@carneades4409 I can only speak for myself- but having to provide these for another person is often more than I can handle. I consider myself self-sufficient. The more I learn about the attachment styles, the more I feel that we actually *don't* all have exactly the same needs. There can be varying reasons behind that, but....face value can also be valuable.
If providing reassurance, initiation, consistency, repair, attention, honesty, and affection is more than you can handle; you have no business being in a romantic relationship.
@@GenghisBird gotcha, and sorry if I came across too strong there. just suggesting that it might be worth considering whether the same needs may just show up differently across attachment styles. not being in touch with our own interpersonal needs is highly characteristic of avoidant types. (I am moderately FA and sometimes find it difficult to identify and communicate my own needs.) wishing you luck on your journey. <3
I thought I was anxious before 😅 I'm super anxious now. It's flipping miserable. These people are almost a plague. Sorry guys no offense. Sorry for your trauma. But get professional help. It's not fair to others who try to fully truly love and support
I am so desparate for healing...been working on my avoidant behaviour and trauma intensively for so long, trying so hard to have this relationship, and now i have to let it go again, losing a dear relationship once again, bc I am not at the point yet i need to be...it hurts so much, the road seems so long, and i am so tired and losing hope and confidence...it really hurts...
Avoidant relationships aren’t relationships, they’re sucky at best. If you’re even distinguishing an avoidant, you want and deserve and can live better. They never really mature into a real relationship and will always be able to leave for someone else.
I have all of these traits and I found myself attracted to an avoidant. Now I’m here on YT searching about avoidants because I get a hot and cold treatment from her and find it super confusing because I know she likes me. I’m 9 years older than her and I’m very open about my emotions and don’t find it difficult to become vulnerable. I don’t know if she needs me to step back or step up.
It means talking only about superficial stuff. Nothing deep that requires emotions. It means shallow. My avoidant is twice divorced. Both marriages were fake.
It isn't much fun being with someone who subconsciously reenacts the cruelty of their childhood on their partner. The literature suggests that even with a well trained therapist these issues can take years to sort out. Caveat emptor!
I am person on the left. He says he spoils me to death and I don’t appreciate it. 🥹fixes things at home, does things but not to ME. No cuddles, kisses, hugs. It’s sooo sad.
