Avoidants SABOTAGE relationships 

they lie so much too

Give the avoidant all the safety they want by walking away. You are saving yourself from a lot of mental abuse

They even do it before you even get close to being in a relationship.

Some of them have a PHD in sabotaging relationships!

They do this in friendships, too! Maybe you could Talk about this, Coach Ryan?

Yeah, if you love yourself just do not get involved with these emotional psychopaths aka avoidants.

I need to play this one on loop to let it really sink in. This is crazy making stuff!

Why do they pull you in emotionally intimately then just self sabotage relationship discard you like you never mattered loved bombed you ghost you like you meant nothing ever to them they hurt themselves and one who truly loved them

Coach to the rescue! Yep, I’ve been cheated on, slow fade, probably had someone else again. I’m done. Every time, usually in the morning, and later in the day, I start thinking about breaking no contact, you put a sensible logical video on about why I’m not contacting them. Thank you thank you

If I had a dollar for every time I was left out for friends parties, vacations and gambling I would be rich.. it's like I wouldn't have wasted so much money to be with someone who isn't emotionally unavailable.

Wen you see 1 red flag, run for the hills, these people only bring missoury

It might not be actual cheating, but engaging in a text argument with her ex husband on our weekend away together, and giving me no affection sure feels like cheating.

Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. And also thank you for the ending of your video it was amazing to hear that we deserve so much more and that it is not our fault that was the game changer for me ❤

My ex sent me a link to the engagement ring she wanted. Five days later she discarded me and slept with my friend (ex friend). She did everything she could to sabotage intimacy as fast as possible.

I think it’s a bit risky diagnosing someone as an avoidant. Someone with high empathy might find this as an excuse to justify their actions and think “poor thing. He/she has a trauma”. Trauma is by no means an excuse for bad behaviour. Don’t try to diagnose someone. Answer to yourself: do I like they way they treat me? If the answer is “no”, then just walk away. It doesn’t matter whether they are a narc or an avoidant. You cannot fix their trauma. End of story.

And don’t forget, ladies... He’s just a guy. YOU ARE THE DIVINE FEMININE. YOU and your ideas/fantasies/illusions of him are what actually made him "special". Imagine your confidence if you put that energy into YOURSELF instead. You would not have the time to even think about that loser guy anymore...

I wonder if they also fake serious events, because they know what you don't want. In my case: "Im pregnant", but no proof of that and "No, you don't have to accompany me to the gynecologist", or "You don't have to do that for me", and very different stories whats going on in this case. Well, maybe I'm too credulous😅

The hardest person to break up with is the one you've created in your delusional, fantasy-making mind... 1. Know your value!!! (Do NOT doubt yourself.) 2. Take yourself and your worth seriously. You need to BE A QUEEN to be treated like one. 3. Don’t give easy access to anyone, at any time. Access to your energy should be expensive. 4. Do NOT only express your boundaries. YOU MUST show them. 5. Always be ready to walk away. 6. Show that you are focused on actions not on words. 7. Have a healthy degree of skepticism. 8. You must be willing to say NO and you must be willing to lose the man, if needed. 9. Never EVER chase a man! A truly worthy woman, (who knows her worth) does not EVER chase a man. Giving the same energy that you're getting is key and if you don't like that energy then move on! NOW! It can be hard but that's when you need to choose yourself over the damn illusion/fantasy. A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, ever, period. So... If he ignores me I will step back and he will lose me. Simple. Simple. Non-dramatic and uncomplicated. I don’t, under any circumstance: play these childish-abusive-controlling mind games. I will only be with a man who values and appreciates me, and treats me as the Queen, I AM. (Daughter of the Most Hight; King of kings!) Because I am a beautiful and kind and divine and sexy and wise and intelligent and magical woman: who knows my worth. Period. Also, We create each moment. This moment contains, through my focus, both positive and negative... I can put my attention on what I lack, what I don't have, what traumas I do have etc... And, I can put my attention on the calm moment that I am in, NOW, the food I just ate, and the fact that my body is satisfied, the shelter I do have... (You get my idea!) Both are here... And now. For the sake of fairness, I will allow myself to cry my pains, in the moment if/when they come/arise, AND also acknowledge the beauty I still have in my life NOW. Pain? Yes. Suffering? Indeed. And, also: wonderous magical divine beauty. Blessings to you!

I was reared by 2 narcissistic parents who squelched my thoughts and feelings so am I an Avoidant? Every relationship has been with an Avoidant who jilted me - who cheated on me. Was I the saboteur? Is one to blame for unknowingly choosing what was familiar?

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness: conscious. Until you make the unconscious: conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” ~ Carl Jung You’re more than a Queen. Not that a Queen is limiting because that’s the highest highness of a most intelligent courageous beauty amongst women. You do embody a perfect emanating expression of a Queen. The icing on the cake is your Divine limitlessness that is in tune with her being. You’re evolution. Thank you for sharing and expressing. I sense your passion for yourself and your passion for standing for justice of your worth. I’m grateful for the love you have for yourself. You’re badass.

Slimeballssss

turn the gain/volume up on your videos by DOUBLE. I always have to crank up my volume just to hear you & then I get my speakers blown out when the ad comes on. please fix this. thanks.

After 3 months of no contact, I wrote to her saying, let's just be friends. We had a great relationship, but only for 3 months so I'm cool with going back to being friends... My heart is mended. Anyway, she didn't reply 😬 Maybe she still has feelings for me....Maybe she hates me. (Not that there's anything to hate me for)....Oh well...her loss

to my dear former so-called best friend, I miss you. SO MUCH!! it's almost unbearable, to watch you, discreetly, from the sidelines, as you are ALWAYS with her * my replacement * out making all of your wildest dreams come true, together, and I've been left to suffer the loss of you, and the trauma of what you both did to me... *it is truly a most bizarre characteristic of humans, that we smile when we are in pain.*

All of these behaviors anxious people engage in but as a means to provoke their partner rather than to create emotional distance. And it’s actually the anxious types who are more prone to cheating.