Awaken my Quivering Abs! (Pillar Men Theme Cover) 

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THESE ARE THE ONLY IDOLS THE EMPEROR REQUIRES!

You fool! These are the true idols!

StringStorm ‌ custodes Idol confirmed!!!

Can we get a custodian Idol?

FOOL! THESE ARE THE TRUE IDOLS OF THE IMPERIUM!

Uno REVERSE

*NO U intensifies*

@Logan The Mad Philosopher *mirror*

@@stankobarabata2406 recursion

If I get it correctly, in reality they just pay fee to patreon simple as. Your variant is way funnier though haha

That is the single most homoeroticly manly and epic thing in the entire universe.

and in the background you'll see kitten preparing to clean after they're done while making sure his armor is tightly equipped

What is this comment refering to i have heard people also talking about an emperor? What is this referencing

@@banann_ducc It's a series called "If The Emperor Had A Text To Speech Device", which is a fan-made series based on the Warhammer 40k franchise. Hope this helps a tad!

@@godsdj7316 thank

With muscles like that, i would be surprised if they weren't...

Great, strong, girthy, THROBBING pillars

He is a humongous TERMINATOR DADDY

MY THERMIC REACTOR PULSATES WITH SMOOTH, VELVETY, WRATH

@@Failous MMMMM BEEP!!!!.

@@REDACTED882 MY MASTER AWAKENED MEEEE!!

@@Failous FIRST MY COGS MUST BE OILED AND MY LOCKS SHALL BE HYDRATED.

Man... I wish I had that experience

@@bray2964 i had that experience too It was glorious

What is TTS?

@@bernardom.freitas5701 It's short for If the Emperor had a Text-To-Speech Device. It's a parody series taking place in Warhammer 40k. The grimmest of the grim-dark sci-fi settings. People who enjoy 40k usually either take it completely seriously, or point and laugh at how utterly ludicrous it is. TTS is in the latter category. It's a great laugh and you don't need to know a damn thing about 40k to enjoy it.

My experience too. It was gloriously hillarious.

Barring the kinds I occasionally enjoy, of course!

@@Omnicide101 Woah! Hello floor.

Floors cannot speak, un-neutered one

what ep was that again?

@@bobboringname9021 24

That implies that this video is what you feel while on the throne.

@@ashlin7482 yes it's a quote from TTS.

@@ashlin7482 that and ultramarine chanting.

Honestly not that bad I figured being on the Golden Throne would be more like stepping on legos while staring into the sun as you attempt to eat sand and you constantly have this playing in your ears ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-LirWkwm_8ao.html But the Custodes version of the pillar men theme? That's awesome :V

@@anonguy772 The emperor actually described sitting on the throne as being like smashing your toe on something, multiplied by 500, and spread all over your body.

Warhammer IS JoJo reference.

To be fair, both have a vibe of pure insanity and weirdness that you will either acclimate to, or you just won't get into it.

@@voidstrider801 exactly!

No no, you got it wrong you see, the fabstodes are so fabulous that their fabulousness manifested it self as a warp entity, and since time in the warp is more complex than Yu-Gi-Oh meta it retroactively inspired the pillar men making THEN a reference to tts, simple, gee,get your facts straight.

The fact that everything in Warhammer is op and muscular as fuck makes the reference more accurate

*clang* PLEASE ERASE THESE MIND IMAGES IMMEDIATELY

Only the finest lubricants can be used. Nothing so crass as oil. The chafing would be indescribable.

I would have up your comment but it's currently at 69 likes and can't bring myself to break it

Someone turn me into a servitor! I needs these images gone from my mind now!

Meanwhile, in the nearby lab of a Magos Biologis: “Hmm...this data must be faulty...there’s simply no way that every female meatbag in the Palace could simultaneously become pregnant...NUMBER 04921-573B!! WERE YOU FIDDLING ABOUT WITH MY COGITATORS AGAIN?!!

I want to see Emperor ABS!

Emps: So this is how you mourn the death of me huh?

If he would fully ,,awaken" and saw this he would just throw himself of the Golden throne and ended it all

AIYAYAYAYAYA

HUMONGOUS TERMINATOR DADDIES

They will continue to build speed until the day Terra falls

that's why you have issues getting to Terra, there are multiple unseen rings around Terra each with at max 15 custodians, all sliding nearing the speed of light, to be launched at invading enemy vessels to either destroy the vessel or end up inside it, thus boarding it

​@shadowai9668 So, either they destroy it or destroy it, but with extra steps.

And if for some reason the khan gets a word of this he will most likely use it to finally merge with the speed force itself

What episode was that?

@@phantomwraith1984 None of them. It was a (jo)joke based on their namesakes.

I imagine Custodisi cried a small creek after some other cutodes landed a glancing cut on him during a sparring session.

to further explain the jokes: Karstodes is based on Kars, whose defeat involved being allowed to become the ultimate lifeform, able to adapt to ANY attack, and then being punted into space: The vacuum couldn't kill him, but he lacked any ability to maneuver, so he's just stuck in orbit forever and the last words concerning him in the series were: "eventually, he stopped thinking." Wamuudes is based on Wamu, who was the second Pillarman awakened in the series. He straight-up killed two nazis by absorbing them, then woke up Kars and Eisidisi. Custodisi is based on Eisidisi, who was the hottest-blooded of the three. He recognized that his emotions could get the better of them, and made a battle tactic of just fucking breaking down and BAWLING to reset his emotional state whenever he started feeling frustrated. Santodes is based on Santana/San Viento(Viz Names can go suck an egg). Santana is the only Pillar man who isn't dead. He was the first to awaken and is being held in a chamber with UV lights to keep him turned to stone forever, much like Santodes is kept alive in his Dreadnaught.

Makes me realize how close ultimate kars gets to things in WH40K

Or face palm of shame...

More like his lustful gaze

Oh ya, it's intense all right~

slender spy ._.

Menacing

Indeed

There's science?

Brrrrrrraka mono da!

SEKAI ECHIIIIIII!

HAIL SCIENCE

To be fair: It is a song that slap so it's ok

I was about to correct you and say Rogue not rouge. But I can see those three wearing makeup under the masks.

The custodes serve 3 different gods. The youngest serves khorne always looking to fight with honour. Another nurgle, who allows him to exist even if only his brain is left alive. The last one praises tzeentch and schemes for daemonhood till he finally receives immortality

@@TheD736 And what about *the* youngest one, who was even left outside their company?

@@caav56 He serves Slaanesh,obviously.

@@rebornpheonix1016 I though he was more into Chaos Undivided, given, how he lacked any definite blessings of the Ruionous Powers.

You expected the custodies but it was me Dio

@Fabius Maximus Kenshiro is, so i wouldn't be surprised

And the tyranids are actually an evolved hybrid of the devil gundam,eva units and the angels

Dio, Kira, Diavolo & Pucci are actually Chaos Lords.

Chaostodes are a thing.

Chris Taylor please make this cannon

Well if that's the case then my money is on the trap dark eldar or orc idol for winning the contest.

Chris Taylor This actually would make sense

@@Persona6Blue But what about a SPEES MEHERINE with oiled abs?

If this becomes canon they really need to force kitten to come along when they judge the tau idol ;-D

Thanks. Now I get a mental image of US army soldiers wearing Fabtodes's armor sliding around an oil field in Iraq.

Dr Galactose I did not need that image in my head

@@samlevy9897 "WHYISTHEREONEONMYHEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD?!"

@@samlevy9897 Yes you did Keep the sheer fabulous lubricated Freedom energy in your mind

Vtel 'Zolam No... I feel the vile influence of choas corrupting my mind...

For the glory of the man emperor of mankind. Indeed a sad day

He's just tagging along with Vulkan, on his mission back to Holy Terra. Bruva will return.

@Yourtuytr 2 in the grim darkness of the 21st century, there is only boycotting

just dont buy this shit warhammer+ they wil lsee that purge every fanwork make lose money

@Yourtuytr 2 not only boycotting, buy and play other tabletop minis games. There are plenty to pick from and the more we lift up other companies, the less of a stranglehold GE will have on the market and the more likely that they'll start behaving more reasonable.

Same. lmao

Same ;)

Same

Yup

Faster than the Skittarii oiled themselves...

i like to think that since the emperor couldn't speak for 10k years, and their authority is only rivaled by primarchs, they created a culture: where they take off their armor(except helmet) and oil each others muscles while striking poses

and each company have different cultures/traditions/branch form this one

@@thecyanghost1889You got the diplomat guilt trippers, the very open minded secreting holding Dark cell wardens, and the nudist companions.

grrrr i found a LIQUID NITROGEN *presents offering to the omnissiah*

I think you mean “aesthetic acquired”. You must now dress like them.

@@Ajehy how do I dress like something that doesn't wear anything

Dat Epic Noob - Tiny loincloth, giant helmet, 6 liters of baby oil.

DONT WURRY WE GOTZ DA ANASTETIK woz anastetik Boss? IT MEENZ 'E WUNS TA GET 'IT ON DA 'EAD WIV A HAMMA

Its fucking 04:48 i havent slept and you my great citizen...fucking broke me

AND IT'S NOT EVEN THURSDAY!

@@ottoleois9323 WE DO NOT HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL LUNCHTIME!!!!

@@1973Washu THEN LET US COMENCE, WITH THE UTMOST GREASE!

@@PallyKalhi [BAZINGA] (canned 50's sitcom laugh track)

UNLEASH THE LAUGHING GOD, IT IS THEIR WEAKNESS! BAZANGA!

"Accidentally"...

Bard happened I assume

@@haroldgerken4835 Fucking *Bards*, man...

We all make accidents in the heat of passion, jimbo

Nothing is an accident.

I never heard of jojo, not even from ancient memes. Thanks to alfabusa (and the team as a whole) i started to watch the series. Took a while to get to the first time playing the theme though lol.

Go on.

Don't EVER use that inflection on the word *"DADDIES"* Again!

Yes Inquisitor this comment right here

@@weldonwin OGRYNS?!

“Loads Bolter with Angelic Purging intent”

Fuckin furries

THEY CANT EVEN READ!!

Neeeeeeeeerd!

I AM GREATER THAN ANY ARMORED FURBALL!

THEY CAN'T EVEN WRITE!

See you in another month then

YES!!!

Other way around. The emperor's stand is 10,000 nude, oiled men.

@@St33lStrife colony type stand made of 10.000 stands with A in every stat except for B in speed

I like both versions equally. Personally my favourite thing is that this doesnt have vocals except for the classic *"AYAYAY"* but you can't have this song without it

You mean, well L U B E D, O I L E D, G L I S T E N I N G Custodes?

In their defense, it was a very big angry chicken

Well, one of them wants that big angry chicken in the palace anyway, so...

Magnus: oh great, another chicken joke !!

The *SLABNASIUM* of the *QUIVERING ISLES*

[BAZINGA]

Its more metal and heavy making it more epic Though awaken suits JoJo perfectly

How is Valk ever going to win now?

They aren’t

Hang on now, Cato Sicarius just might win the day. After all he is the Knight Champion of Macragge

@@ChipCheerio Did someone call *I, CATO SICARIUS,* ex-Captain of the second Ultramarine company, Master of the Watch, Knight Champion of Macragge, Grand Duke of Talassar, High Suzerain of Ultramar, Primaris Marine, commander of the Primarch Guilliman Victrix Guard, Guilliman student, possible next Chapter Master and possible heir to the title of Lord Regent (the last two are highly heretical speculations done by other people)?

@Trashy The Incompetent No, for I, Cato Sicarius, am to busy to die.

Neither the pillar men or the lyrics were arabic tho

Don't worry. If things continue to go on the way they are, the whole world will soon speak nothing but arabic.

@@danielbergholtz5761 the theme is clearly sound arabic or simply we have no idea how aztec Music sounds like

xSuperiorManx your an edgy one aren’t you.

when arab start praise the the emperor

You lewd them HA!! They will lewd you like the 4 of the July!!!!! RUN MAN RUN!!!!!!

But that’s their secret Captain *THEY WERE ALWAYS LEWD* (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

*sigh* .... I'll get the mop my Emperor...

My lord I just wanted you to know this was not my idea

@@Boy93Red then who's idea was it

PLEASE YES

@@karlvillak1867 aren't they your royal protectors also it was me

Yes my glorious overlord

The tongue is a flexible muscle...

Cybran Razor Indeed it is...

Same, I will one day write a crossover fanfiction and I will use the Adeptus Custodes, and this will be their theme.

​@@idiotsplayinggames4752 same, but whenever I see adeptus custodes I just imagine "OUR BOY!"

They would, they watched the show, this theme is played during Santodes' introduction and beyond.

Scott Broyles well the girls do need beefcake

Who didn't?

@@SSGTWinters "Girls."

According to Cegorach, those are Solitaires...

THE WOLF SENDS NUDE MEN AFTER ME?!

Not just any Dreadnought, but a Telemon Heavy Dreadnought, the biggest and deadliest of them all, and just short of an Imperial Knight in firepower and mass.

That would be Brother Santodes, yes

Either that or you will be welcomed in the land of a *"thousand erupting volcanoes"*

He walks in, he walks out. The emperor sobs a skeletal tear so... Just a ghostly sob hahah

@@FUBARGunpla kitten : where the fuck is the flamer for titans i need to burn those guys before all is lost to the prince of pleasure

Purge anyway. It's the only way to be sure, Captain Diomedes.

@@26th_Primarch no blood my be split upon the earth of holy Terra So make sure to stick to flames

@@schoenperkins8210 Unlike the Inquisition I have fire extinguishers ( read hellfrost cannons ) attachments to my heavy promethium flamers...

@@26th_Primarch that...seems a bit counterproductive doesn't it? I mean if it where me and I lit something on fire, I'd want that bitch to burn

@@schoenperkins8210 I wouldn't want the flames to spread beyond the heretics or xenos I'm purging. I'm a Reasonable Marine.

Exactly why I’m here.

Just be warned.... Slanesh would probably send their followers to DAB, depraved as ... it is.

DGARedRaven THE SCOUNDRELS!

@@imperialfistsmarine5064 Laughs in BDSM

@@DGARedRaven Objection! That's too repulsive... even by our standards.

@@ZeroCanalX Needs more beauty mutations.

Well, funny you should ask, but I have a whole list of things the Emperor did to deserve this fate *(Drops a massive tome, that shakes the very foundations of the Imperial Palace with its impact)* Do you want me to start with the Great Crusade, or do we need to get out the other eight volumes of stuff from before then?

@@weldonwin Heh

Rogal Dorn sometimes uses this as a support beam

What EP?

Ep?

Skedadle skedee, now you're gay

Me: reading heterosexuell Me: I don't have such weaknesses

@@funtimefredboi3877 That sounds kinda gay tho

@@CommandantSchrdinger surprised pikachu face

@@funtimefredboi3877 hank hill shocked face

Idle.

I just want them in anime girl wigs for their song

I know…fucking sucks. :-(

@@nerysghemor5781 fuck GW at this point.

let the emperor light smile upon them

Remember to oil those abs before the workout for maximum effect...

*BUT FIRST, MY COGS MUST BE OILED* _sigh, yes_ *AND MY LOCKS SHALT BE HYDRATED* _yeah, yeah, go wash up in the dreadshower_

@@fashionsoulsonlysouls5575 *MMH*

HUMONGOUS TERMINATOR DADDIES

@@HailNeatoBurrito "Never say the word DADDY again!"

MY WOMB IS GUSHING!!!!!!1!! -Miniladd, but it fits

No need for words - just look at them and feel the glory of mankind

From a thousand year long nap

From a TEN THOUSAND year long nap.

Oh my Emperor

awaken

*AWAKEN MY NAPERS!*

Well, actually it makes it worse. Oh so much worse. But is it ever entertaining for us.

@@atigerclaw nothing can be worse than JoJo, lol. Seriously, never understood how people are watching it, it's dumb and everyone who watched it behaved like a pretentious maggot -with f instead of m I can't write that word RU-vid deletes it or smth-

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoh Hell to the fuck no!

It also has Ratings, but they're out of 10 and awarded for shine and firmness. And torpedoes that can destroy a black hole.

Anyone except Rogal, pls save me!

Emps: FuUuUuUuUcK yOoOoOoOoUuUuUu

Es warhammer solo destina un planeta o sistema planetario entero para esa función y listo.

as a JoJo fan I approve

and also don't forget other animes like kill la kill, panty and stocking, attack on titan. That's all I can remember for now.

@@carloseduardocastelandaluz560 Nah, only Jojo isn't Heresy

@@butitwasmedio remember this phrase from one of the space marines: "we don't hate any races. except orcs. and eldar. and dark eldar. and necrons and tau. because no one likes dumbass weeaboo space communists. but at least they are not trying to eat us like the tyrannids " we could have an anime equivalent to this phrase like "all anime is heresy. except jojo. and panty and stocking. and attack on titan. and kill la kill. and every anime created by the same studio that animated jojo because everyone wants to see fabulous muscular men posing and fighting."

@@carloseduardocastelandaluz560 Now now, that's not all it's abo-....yeah u know what nvm that's literally JoJo

So say we all

I think it's time for a rewatch of TTS, and maybe DBZA. Taken too soon.

Yes, no better marketing than customers having fun. But that isn't allowed anymore i guess.