Battle of the Sexes: Who pays for the first date? || STEVE HARVEY 

+Art by Atlas Woman: A man should pay on the first date *crown applauds* Man: Cant we just go dutch *gets knocked out with baseball bat*

:(

They laughed because men are never raised to be dependent.

Man: We created women to be a independent

For the only thing a man or a woman need each other is to have a baby, even if using In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF) you always need sperms and ova/eggs, but nothing else... Don´t be illogical ...

I've never thought of that

if there was a wage gap

it does not justify by wage Gap because wages are based on work and not dating we should get paid according to our works it has nothing to do with dating

There isn't a wage gap by the way the reason man technically get paid more is because they tend to put their career first while women put family first, men are also more ambitious and seek out promotions, they work longer hours averagely and put in more effort and they also seek out higher paying jobs like lawyers, engineers while women go for lower paying jobs like teachers, etc. The reason many feminist think there is a wage gap is because they like to twist statistics and information in their favour and they will reject and ignore facts that do not go well with them.

food for thought u need a whole newsletter on that

Of all of the women on that panel she is the only one that is married.

Wtf she was arrogant af

@@gaby5546Nope. She’s the only lady on the panel. She’s the best.

Nobody cares about men's problems. Why do you think 78% of suicides are men? Something like 95% of work-related deaths are men.

Blue Finally Gets A Clue wow the generalization and sexism.

Blue Finally Gets A Clue I hope you realize that not all men are like that, and some of us realize that women of men alike shouldn’t be objectified.

This is so on point.

I think that's something women need to realize more but on the other hand we have to be aware that money isn't the only way to make someone feel appreciated. A lot of men that I know Express their Love by spending money and buying a gift or getting something nice to show their love for their partner a lot of women show their love by being affectionate or dressing up for their partner to make them feel nice. That doesn't mean that the other partner in the relationship can't take on those other roles every now and then which I think is healthy and would be very nice but we also have to keep in mind how the majority of men and women communicate when showing love and how different those languages often are.

Wait the divorce rate is high because someone can't afford to feed the woman they asked to join them for dinner? If that's the case then that says something serious about people that are harassing women to date them when they can't afford a date.

No the divorce rate is high because of this mindset. 70 percent of divorce is filed by the wife and that says a lot

+Ricy Bob- 70 percent of divorce is filed by the wife but have you looked into why? You're seeing a percentage and making up your own conclusion but studies paint a different picture. 70-80 percent of women don't consistently get off through penetrative sex either. Studies have shown that Married women reported lower levels of relationship quality than married men, he found. In contrast, unmarried women and men reported equal levels of relationship quality. So what is it about marriage that leaves women less satisfied and more likely to walk away? "Meaning that as much as women’s roles in society have changed, women’s roles within the families have changed very slowly,” he said, citing husband’s expectation for wives to do the bulk of the housework and childcare, even when both spouses work.-" Huffpost The life expectancy of women shortens when they're married but men's life last longer. I know that seems odd but it's a fact. Even sex in marriage. Sure married men may complain about not having as much sex as they'd like in marriage but married women complain that the sex that happens is often not fulfilling for them or their male partner is only interested in getting himself off. Look at casual sex reports that talk about pleasure between men and women. Women always report unsatisfactory experiences where men tend to state that sex was great. Other reports on sex quality: Divorced or separated men are twice as likely to have been unfaithful in their marriage. Women's stats on cheating has only increased but that has in part to do with the economic options women have now and also has to do with sex quality and the brunt of responsibility for childcare and cleaning up after the entire house being on their shoulders. It's not entirely fair to just throw a stat out there without following it up with the supporting facts.

Divorce rate's actually going down, and is higher among baby boomers than Gen X and Millennials.

I agree

We're quite simple but we make it complicated

+JLifeAdvice yea right

+JLifeAdvice Absolutely right.

so true. thats why we look to animals for comfort/friends/love.

No, they system has brainwashed us to be difficult. Marriage and family is about 'mutual sacrifice'.

She did! LOL

@@missythefabulous3857 , She wasn't going to receive applause from an all male audience.

yep they don't want to be june clever but wants men to be don drapper

Joseph LeForte lool exactly

Machismo lol no the girl who wants to be provided for is the one who dosent work and stays at home

some women do wannt to be house wives

Some opinions from people makes me wanna kill myself because they so stupid. I dont mean you btw :) if this was bad english im sorry im german

+chris Brown Can't help the genetics.

Yes, only against females. The world already hands men everything.

Sosmcs See Like rape convictions and jail sentences even when in reality nothing happened, the girl just dislikes said guy.

men and women are equal, unless its time to pay the bills

+chris Brown that is what I am saying..but you can't say that on tv..you know that.

If you pay the bill are you expecting sex afterwards.

And it just goes to show how the woman isn't independent. If you're an adult you should always be prepared to take care of yourself, not always expect your partner to take care of you. Inequity leads to an unhealthy relationship; the woman should at least offer to help out with the bill. That being said, if the man wants to pay for it then that's fine, but if he thinks that the woman should pay for her meal if she can definitely afford it AND if its a mutual dinner (not the guy asking the girl out). It's just a way of showing appreciation and sympathy for each other really, not using each other.

Yes! Thank you, beautifully put. It blows my mind that some women have this delusion that men should contribute everything to a relationship while they don't have to do jack.

Marcus Hooks I fee the same!!! If woman want equality then we should treat them equality!!!

i completely agree. you explained my feelings so perfectly.

You are right that relationships are complimentary which is the same thing as "asking someone out". If you're not offering a complimentary meal then the person can enjoy their time with someone that is offering that complimentary meal. It all comes down to the most positive outcome for both parties involved but if she didn't even notice you and wasn't asking for you approach you really shouldn't offer dates that you can't afford.

Dating is not responsibility. It's courtship.

Jo Montanee have fun being single.

... and deserve equal lefts.

Cherry Blossom Happiness because the mother’s don’t let them be fathers...they tell him his role as a father isn’t valuable and she doesn’t need him, that their children doesn’t need him...in the courts the women gets custody most of the time...etc.

Cherry Blossom Happiness what crowd are you messing with? I’m sorry you’ve had bad experiences, but that’s to be expected when you hang around low hanging fruit

It's much cheaper to expect someone else to pay for you than to not pay for someone else.

Exactly what you expect

You ask her out, expect sex. Then say she's not contributing. Don't ask her out if you think you're the only one with something to offer. Date yourself since you're so amazing and women contribute 'nothing'

chantelle r He didn’t say he asked her out, he just criticized a statement she made. You did not debunk the criticism you just told him he shouldn’t date anybody because “women contribute nothing” but, he didn’t say women as a whole. What he said was referring to that specific person; making your argument(if it can even be called that)a strawman fallacy. In addition whenever men make the claim that they are owed sex for their financial contribution they are told that they are not entitled to the woman’s body.

Unless she’s trading sex for the meal bye bye I can do better maybe not hotter but a whole lot better.

She invited him out though.

No

I agree.

exactly, I have always said that.

+Mandy X'O-twod Absolutely not, how many women are ever asking guys out on dates, by saying that you may as well say men should pay for the first date.

Agreed. I've asked men on dates and I paid. Some of them refused to let me pay even when I asked them out. And some men do not like when a woman asks them out. Some women don't think they should ask a man out.

agree, if he asks you he pays if you ask him you pay. now in relationships it depends on who is more financially stable to pay more. and those men who want ask a girl out but not pay? say what , that is not attractive and says a lot about your character.

He'll get the treatment that my cousin got. His woman left him bcuz he fell on hard times, but, as soon as he got back on his feet she came back. Obviously, he didn't learn that she's all about the Benjamin's. Smdh.

right she gone jump ship

If she loses her job...it okay, If you lose yours, you will be on a timer. She will start looking elsewhere for a provider. Knowing that part of women's nature should tell us to NEVER depend on women in anything.

Javier Gonzalez sad to say it but o agree

it's female nature body. mgtow is the only way to go.

strawberriesncandii What you have written will be ignored by females who need to hear this the most. I agree with you that any adult should not be dependent upon another as life will ruthlessly show you. I asked a female about this issue. I was interested in getting to know her better before dating her.I asked her if males should always pay for dates . She said she should never have to pay for anything on a date. I asked her what do you offer in return. She looked at me with the blankets stare I ever saw in a human being. I asked her will he get something from this or should he expect to be exploited? She became visibly upset. She said being with me is enough. I asked her will he be getting sex if he pays for everything? She said he gets to be me and that's all he gets. I laughed at her and said you got to bring something to the table and being with you is not enough. I lost all interest in her and saw her for what she really was which is a parasite

strawberriesncandii will you marry me? 😂

LOL

@@strawberriesncandii am glad to know women with good hearts and fairness still exist

@Cherry Blossom Happiness dead beat dads aren't idolized or celebrated. single moms and financial vampires who exploit guys are.you see the difference?

ikr lol

I'm just over here laughing because y'all didn't feed the troll! There is hope!

+tmntsuperhiros what troll, i think he is saying the truth although i don't agree about the black part., do you think these men are really truthful about always wanting to pay the bills? so when someone comment on RU-vid, and you don't agree with it then its a troll? you are dumb.

+Jide Whesu it's 2015 women have rights and jobs , so women cannot keep telling men to always pay,

+Jide Whesu please speak for yourself.

That was the comment i was looking for :D

Traditional roles still apply to men but women got to be free from their traditional roles.

@@LGDarksteed traditional role must be applied to women too! They better be making a meal for their man in order to "provide" them with food. Just how men "provide" with paying for a date or whatnot

I do think that it's polite and gentleman like to offer to pay if you are the one to ask a girl out. Because you are the one asking her to accompany you. If it was the other way round the girl should offer. That's just how I see it. And in my experiences the guys that don't offer to pay often are quite selfish disrespectful individuals in general. If we would go to a quite pricey restaurant I would insist on splitting the bill because I wouldn't want to let him pay that much but if we are just getting a coffee somewhere like common...

@@MusicVEVOchannel The problem with that analogy is that women are almost never the ones to ask a man out. So it is pretty much a moot point. Like when you ask your friends "Hey, you want to get something to eat?" Do you buy all your invited friends their meals. Probably not. Even though you are the one that technically invited them out. Now for the coffee. Yes, I can agree with you that paying for someone else's coffee is just fine. Especially for a get to know you sort of date before an actual date.

SteelandSouls15 how many first dates end in children? Less than 10%

Run, run far away from those dudes

You make some interesting points, though equal pay for equal work on its face is a no brainer I think. Beyond that, context, as usual, is everything. The clearest example would be a man and woman, who both aspire to have a family someday and date prospectively toward that. When the man pays the check, thus performing the provider role, he signals to the woman that she would be cared for with him. Even if she herself is an earner, when pregnant, she, as most women, will be earning much less, if at all, for several months at least. Remember, paid maternity leave is fairly rare in this country, occurring mostly in higher paying jobs. Even unpaid maternity leave still isn't guaranteed lower waged women. She will therefore, inevitably, have to rely on her husband, thus, a number of women are mindful of this when dating a potential partner. I get your frustration, I think. No one likes it when they perceive someone is eating their cake and having it too. The thing is, with women in the job market as much as they are, men are the ones actually having it both ways when they expect women to have their babies and raise their babies- an undertaking that overwhelmingly will be the hers- AND be an equal provider/earner AND maintain the home - again, still, another avalanche of work/expectation that will mostly fall on her. Given all of this it can be argued that men want/have it 3 ways.

You'll notice my initial reply spoke to how things mostly still are. You, I believe, are speaking to the way things are changing. I should acknowledge that - so I do. That said, to agree that things are changing does not mean that things have changed. It's a process that we're still in the beginnings of. As it stands, US employers overwhelmingly do not pay for maternity leave. Most men do make more than women holding equal positions. And most women are primarily responsible for child care and housekeeping irrespective of whether they work outside the home as well. To argue that it is possible for a man to take over those responsibilities or for a woman to earn more than a man is an obvious point. I'm not speaking to what is possible. I've been speaking to what is probable. While each of us knows of some others who have a more "modern" arrangement - in other words, anecdotal evidence- it is by definition, not the majority of the evidence. If there is any doubt, research divorce statistics. Conflict over money and household responsibilities top the list as to the causes. Moreover divorce is more so initiated by the wife, which given everything shouldn't surprise anyone.

And to answer your facetious question, historically women, while "courting" don't have to signal that they are earners/providers. They have to signal that they are loyal and nurturers. And, again, historically, that they are desirable and fertile. That's what all the make up women buy is about. The blush, lipstick, mascara and the foundation that hides imperfections mimic youth thus implying fertility. The nurturer part, of course, signals that once mothers, they will be capable of getting the man's child to reproductive adulthood thereby enabling his genes to continue on.

Gender roles are modernizing indeed, but they're up against our DNA, both individual and social.

The best word, descriptively would be primal. Primal needs or expectations.

+Sura Amenra I agree, its best to go someplace social and get to know each other and then figure things out later

+Sura Amenra It shows that you attracted only cheap women. Self-respected women never treat men as free meals. May be those women didn't give you a second date because they were not that into you. If you are that low self- esteem to feel robbed, just don't date.

Jo Montanee WOW so if some one is not prepared to PAY FOR YOUR TIME it means they won't get a date? Um.... just look up the definition of prostitution real quick? yeah

On the first date you should be able to determine if a women really likes you or not. If you don't pick up that vibe then you just never see her again

@Josh_Kirbs love the comment!

That’s not the right way to look at this g

Also her being heavy doesn’t make her unattractive

@@nahova3167 yes it does

I had the same observation

I'm born/raised in the south but learning/understanding(5th grade) women's rights changed my views. Everything equal.

@John Do, it sounds like you have a healthy attitude towards women! You understand the value of a good woman but are not a pushover.

zadose I agree.

marciloni12 Steve Harvey said a man should pay for EVERY!!! Date if you have to pay for every date how can you possibly know you aren’t being used?

so few likes how sad . women like you are rare and romance will died within 10 years. look at all relationship magazines, psychologist and tv show. the idea i s only the womans happiness matters.the man is just a means to and end .

🥰 exactly

@That Guy that girl was giving a tutorial to men on how to stay away from women like her. But honestly it also makes me think she does meet men who are ready to pay her rent and meals and stuff . Its impossible not to know that this woman is using you and yet some men go along with it( for sex with a beautiful woman) what do you think?

@That Guy yeah I am from India so there is a long way to go before men step up as well. Now its more like so women are getting education and becoming independent but they still have to do all the household chores ALONE as well. So its like we are doing double the work. Anyways I agree with things getting better in terms of equality , market for such women will shrink. And they will have to work equally hard and be a good human being to earn any kind of respect. :)

Tell me about it. So women fight against gender bias but when it comes to things like these, gender inequality is accepted. Why are women so confused on the definition of the same values they are fighting for.

just like how woman are fighting ti be included into the draft of wait

Don't be cheap. You asked her

Nate Ejobson I agree !!

Nate Ejobson she is a escort lol

It's reminds me of "no glove no love" and I often think if a man asking a woman out can't even afford the meal then he probably can't afford condoms either which just guarantees sex is off the table. I mean what would happen if something went wrong? I would hate to be in a situation with "that guy".

ladya5 That's actually what prostitutes say.

I agree that women shouldn't feel ENTITLED to the man paying, yes. Just like the man shouldn't feel entitled to sex. Neither of us should feel entitled to anything. We'd all do a lot better to just have more humility and appreciation.

@@gaby5546 agreed

It's because men keep asking women out. If you don't ask women out you don't pay. If you do and she pays then she'll be staring at the guy sitting behind you because you just put yourself in the "friendzone".

Men wouldn't have to ask women out if women played more of an active role in dating but they don't. Women are cheap! That's point blank and period! How many men have you ask out on a date in your life span?

@@StoicBehavioR don't generalise all woman you probably single cause you are every bitter

Idontknowausername Yea typical ass woman response. Gotta love when women play the NAWALT (not all women are like that) and "bitter single man" card, because it's a sin for a man to point out female behavior. I'll ask you the same question. How many men have you ask out on a date and paid for it? Is it counted on a single hand? Or are you just gonna to give me the women shame tactic and say "a real man" pays for the dates..

@@StoicBehavioR I actually have asked a guy out on a date and payed for his ticket aswell. But yeah for the rest it were guys who asked me out who where gentleman and insisted on paying. When dating a guy it's a balance sometimes he pays some times I get the check. I guess it's different per person. If I would be generalising man for example only using woman for sex. You could correct me to because you generalising all woman saying they are cheap makes you sound like disrespectful. And I think it's more the principle then about the money

+chris codling Rights being stripped away from men? What rights have you lost?

vecelche take a look at custody laws and all your questions will be answered

+chris codling Chris do you also hear Crickets?

+chris codling a custody battle can go either way so you don't have a point

+Miya Edwards if that is the case than why so many women are getting the kids while the men are left to foot the bill? You know the laws are screwed in favor of the woman. What happens to a woman when she wants to abort her child? Is she off the hook in the eyes of the courts? of course she is but let that man express how he feels about not wanting a child. Of course he isn't off the hook in he eyes of the feminist family laws. Women have all the rights while men rights are being stripped aways concerning his kids or his right to right abandon his responsibility if a kids wasn't what he wanted in the first place.

apparently the white knight was black in this one

booty call911 :)) no finance no romance are you kidding me? 70% of the women thought that and most of the men a few wanted to split the bill

+Codrin Vechiu wtf are you talking about? you said the white knight... I simply stated that the white knight was actually black in this video.. so I'll try to say it nicely... wtf are you on about?

watch the video

+Codrin Vechiu I did watch it, what you said has nothing to do with what I said

on this first date ESPECIALLY if he asked YOU out, no... Dates after that i think thats ok

+Courtney U know the majority of the time a man is going to ask.

Jessi I applaud u.

Yes ma'am!

I personally go dutch when I eat ALONE as does anyone that is out having dinner by themselves.

I agree.

Fully agree as well

@Cherry Blossom Happiness Still single huh?

@Blue Finally Gets A Clue You need Jesus friend :)

@Cherry Blossom Happiness Right! And women should never ask men out. They are supposed to be providers.

I think he meant "independent" as in " alone".

Lmao😂😂

Nice, first you call them LADIES, but you refer to the one that didn’t fall for your tactics BROAD! So are you announcing your upcoming wedding to the 3rd LADY? Well, Congratulations!? Lmao

I'm sorry but this isn't true. If you were 20 and broke most women know this and don't make a big deal out of it. That's ok when you're still living off of daddy's salary as you were probably living at home with your parents. If you had a job then yeah she's going to think something is off with you not being able to pay for a meal. Again it's the same with sex. Women don't typically enjoy sex with guys in their 18-early 20s. It's absolutely dreadful really but she will not tell you because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

+Naturelle_D AGREED

My first date, either I cook a light but filling meal(I don't want the women to be too full not to have sex, lol) or we go dutch. Do u have to guess what the women chose?

T J lol

The first date I ever went on was to an ice skating rink. Cost 16 dollars for the two of us and it was way more memorable than a dinner date that might've cost more. Coffees good too for a first date. Just 6 or so dollars

@mavishill yes men always like to have a few gfs, if every date go dutch then guy can afford a few gfs. thank you for acknowledgement

yea right

+Deadpool Mrstealyourgirl umm...i am muslim girl so NO it doesn't benefit me in any way cause i don't date. not tryna be racist but are you white man? lol

+Deadpool Mrstealyourgirl i am not saying men and women are not equal, but based on old/classic culture men have always been the providers and protectors for women, so it also has to do with the respect and manners when it comes to paying the bill.

+Deadpool Mrstealyourgirl Don't try to validate the cheapness with equal rights. PLEASE.

+Deadpool Mrstealyourgirl U know. I was raised the same, but, when I learned about women's rights, 5th grade, the traditional roles went out the door.

@Blue Finally Gets A Clue Reading comment like this can convince beta men not to pay... If you want to escort it up, why would you leave a message like this? it hurts your cause

Blue Finally Gets A Clue That’s exactly why first dates should be free and second dates should be coffee that way a man can separate the women who are actually into him vs the woman who don’t give a rats ass about him and are just looking for a free meal. My goal is to find a significant other not to feed a bunch of random. You at least have to agree with that. But yeah once I see that it’s actually me she wants to spend time with and that she just isn’t out to use me then yes I have no problem paying for all the dates. Only AFTER I’ve had a chance to gage her interest level. It’s funny how women’s advice for guys dating them is completely different than the advice they give their sons about women. 🤦🏽‍♂️

@@Jambuc829 No your problem is that you're being lazy and you're doing the numbers game with QUANTITY not QUALITY. If you're asking out a bunch of RANDOMS as you say then that's your fault. No I don't do coffee dates either. The minute a guy asks me that I think "eww" lame. See men that ask me out for coffee want FACE TO FACE ATTENTION. No one deserves that kind of time from me as a "random" especially being cheap. Any man that has ever asked me out for "coffee" has always been a creep. I decline the offer because I don't even drink coffee and he usually keeps contacting me where he can't hold a decent conversation to save his life. If it's not clear I enjoy a conversation and I'm up for a myriad of discussions. My point is a coffee place isn't the place. It feels bland, empty, unimaginative and COLD. You want to take a woman out to something fun and pleasant and bring up a good mood. I just told this guy that wanted to take his date out for "coffee" to burn that idea and throw it in the trash but maybe take her out to a new Gelato shop or maybe Froyo Spot! It's like the food you eat that makes you smile even when you don't want to! Coffee? I feel like I should start working on my taxes or something! Absolutely depressing!

NO it isn't. Everyone is is independent to a certain degree. That just means that you can survive on your own if NEED BE. Point is if you're approaching a woman you're telling her you want something from her. You're essentially trying to convince her that she doesn't NEED to be INDEPENDENT. If that's not what you're saying then why stop her at all?

GoddessBlueYozakura You are telling her she needs to be independent that’s you saying you are attracted to her and would like to see if you two are compatible. I can’t have kids because of a injury I got in combat so a woman that gets with me has no excuse to be at home because there are no kids to take care of.

I would rather pay tho

Same man, I'm fine with paying but if the woman doesn't even try to be helpful in a relationship and just takes it for granted then i'm not going to date that kind of person. Also, men tend to pay for the majority of the mortgage, bills etc so if I'm struggling with money and the woman is earning/has more money than me i do expect help to keep the relationship equal ya know. I feel as though once you've settled into a relationship it's completely fine for the partners spilt the bill into some kinda proportion, but I would still offer to pay if i could as it is gentlemen-like

Carlos Felix if you asked me out then you gotta pay.sorry,not that am stingy,I was only raised to recognize gentlemen and their ways

Sparks well ya if i ask you out then ill pay but if you ask me out and ask me to pay thats kinda not cool

Carlos Felix well of course.whoever asks gotta pay.on the first date at least

TommyTucker timeless comment.

500thoughtsofmorgan that’s perfect... but there woman that want the guys to pay every time ...

That’s your BF we talking about strangers on a date.

they threw literally LOADS of red pills in this video alone!

Why? Are you planning on paying for first dates for the rest of your life??

zadose So a man is judged on how much money he makes and a woman is judged on her looks? Must be nice. It’s much easier to work out and have a sexy body than it is to have great earning potential in this dog eat dog world.

That sounds like two friends getting together not a date but platonic friends are great too so that's always fun!

I live in Sweden.

Well must admit that does sound like a lot better than what gold diggers expect

so in your definition a date is a free meal voucher ?

@GoddessBlueYozakura Why are you entitled to a free meal? Lets be real, the first date is basically the interview process of whether both parties are going to go further. So it would be a appropriate for both parties to pay for his and her meal.(separately)

That's for husbands and long time boyfriends not random dudes.

That's also dumb as sht tho. It's an invite, you're not forcing them to come. If you invite someone and they say "can't, I'm broke." -then- you can say "I got you." If you would rather spend time with them than have that $. But otherwise, a grown woman is going to pay for herself.

Buying someone a meal that you asked out makes the woman a prostitute? Where does that make any sense? Look if you're strapped for cash perhaps you shouldn't ask people to go out with you in the first place. Seriously?

GoddessBlueYozakura Even women who are strapped for cash shouldn't be going out in dates anyway then.

@GoddessBlueYozakura Someone saying you are not having sex with me unless you spend money. This is exactly what hookers say and it’s also exactly what the Latina was alluding to.

Also, Juanita- I'm afraid that you are more bounded as a trophy wife, someone who always looks good for her husband and is always the one watching the kids. She probably has a group of housewives that sit together and talk about how hard their husbands works while they sit on their ass. If her husband even shows one weak moment, or God forbid makes her pay for something, she might as well just dig her own grave! This woman is ridiculous😂

BigTwill0218 its because of how things were back then.

+Shundra Chamberliss exactly! they aren't taking away any of your independence it's just a gesture. We wanna show that you are important to us not that we have to take care of you

+Shundra Chamberliss i agree with 100% no matter what men have to pay

+Shundra Chamberliss exactly! It's not that you cant do it, but its that you shouldnt need to. A good man will have good manners

+hibaad hussein So the man should pay for every date (3rd,4th,5th,etc)???

+Sura Amenra well...not really. depends on the kind of date really. I like a woman that wants to do something and invites me with as much or at least some of the time. Movies are kind of a date thing, rock climbing is something else and seems more of a casual date kind of thing. So I would pay for the "romance" or the ones that feel like a date. The other kinds of "dates" CAN be paid for by the girl as its more activity based. Going to a bar is always buy your own. Women abuse that too much when given the opportunity and it usually is drama anyway on top of it. Buying a drink for introduction is something else, but buying for the night is a "no way." Lastly, I am also one that thinks that a woman can support herself. If she can't, I get very hesitant on further dates. Why? Because there is no way I am going to support you in such ways. There are exceptions though. If they are taking care of me such as cooking, cleaning, and all that housewife kind of stuff, then I would consider it. Otherwise, I ditch and go looking for another.... I am open minded in regards to financial things for relationships. The trick is knowing when it isn't being reciprocated and/or appreciated....

+TheToledoTrumpton THANK YOU exactly! That's why I insist on splitting the bill especially on the first date. I don't want to leave him with the impression that I OWE him anything, even if it's just my attention

This is what created the "split the check or pay your own way" but the problem with this is that many guys now are complaining about being "friend zoned" as in the woman paid for her meal but she's just not interested in him at all.

@GoddessBlueYozakura The "friend zone" is petty excuse you're using to benefit your argument. To be put in the "friend zone" that would mean a woman accepts a mans calls and hangs out with him. If woman is not interested she wouldn't accept calls or texts from that said man further breaking all ties from them.

@Blue Finally Gets A Clue There is no such thing as a platonic male friendship.. Your "platonic male friends" wanted to sleep with you. So it's a one sided friendship. When you want a man to be your friend, you view at him as your girlfriend. He's accepts it because he's a blue pilled man or a beta male orbiter in hopes to one day have his turn with you.. All that paragraph writing was worthless and I didn't read it all only a few sentence where it revealed that your were a female.. That's all I needed to know.

That is right. If you are dating, then you are going to pay sometimes. why is it so hard for people to understand. I'll never go on a second date if a guy didn't pay for the first.

+jillhbaudhaan but chances are because he is the man he will be asking you out regardless so we are back to square one

***** I can't account for all women, but I usually like one guy at a time, sometimes two, never more than that. So I'll admit that on a rare occurrence I'll ask a guy out. If I like him and want to get to know him better, I'll hint at it with "We should continue this conversation later" or "Do you like Thai food, I know a great little place". But, if you're willing to pay for a 1st date, why would that hinder you in asking for a 2nd? Is it because the expectation would be that you'll pay every time? If so, then have a conversation with her, letting her know of your expectations, if she becomes salty, then she's not for you.

Brenda Kabanda why should he why not split?

jillhbaudhaan you even admit it's rare. not to mention that if you feel entitled to a free meal then isn't it only equal that we feel entitled to something as well?

Delisa Orr I can pay for that date that’s fine I have a good job so it’s not big deal at all. But how do I know when I’m being used? My phone was saved in a woman’s number as “free food”

They don't

Complex Ez sex goes both ways, pal

Ahmed Alhibeshy If you were on a date and you see your name saved in her phone as “free food” would you still pay. If she told you that she doesn’t want to be romantically involved with you before the check gets there so you still pay?

When it comes to men I’ve noticed there are two different types of daters. 1. Preselect daters. These are men like you who will go on dates with women that they have already invested interest in. They have already gone over questions that could be deal breakers and have build a rapport with a woman BEFORE the first date. They do all this because they hate to waste their time going out on a date just to find out they aren’t compatible. These type of daters fear wasting their time the most they don’t mind spending money because they already like the girl they are on a date with. 2. Mass daters. These are the guys who schedule several dates with several woman. They don’t like to get to know women over the phone and prefer face to face interactions only. They feel like you get to know someone more in person than over the phone. They prefer low or no cost first dates because paying for dinner would be a big waste of money as they are dating four or five other women in the same month. They fear wasting a bunch of money just to find out that all the dates they lined up didn’t work out. These two type of daters both feel the way the other dater does things are weird. Mass daters scuff at the idea of paying for dates because that would get insanely expensive fast. Preselect daters say well do a better job of vetting your dates BEFOREHAND so you aren’t wasting your time with a random woman. I say these two types of daters shouldn’t worry about how the other types date and should just focus on what works for them and the women they are out with. I consider myself a mass dater. I’m the same when it comes to car shopping I want to test drive a few options before I start investigating my money. Edit: you must understand also for us mass daters spending a bunch of money on a date is like spending money to test drive a vehicle. Maybe I loved the way a certain car looks but hate the way it handles I love that I can find that out for free.

take care of you? Sounds like a child-like mentality.

It should be the other way around.

No she learned as she probably struggled alone with that bastard child!

What does race have to do with anything?? Just because she has that mind set, doesn't mean it's due to race....

zadose Standards? Those aren’t standards they are demands. Because a man who has a good job and matches her looks is standards.

I'm a man regardless and not cheap bcuz I won't pick up the tab.

That sounds like A: use his and hord yours B: the female expectation complex set by rich and fearful controling men or hurt abandond women C: lack of mutal love and team us

bellydancerinanna​ If one the attributes of a gentleman, by ur definition, is a man that pays for all/most of the expenses of dating, being a gentleman became foreign to me when I learned about women's rights(5th grade). I do open doors, pull out seats etc etc. No, I don't go on a lot dates, just my place. But, I'd rather be by myself, if women weren't coming to my place. What's the purpose of women earning, at least, as much as men in the same field if a man pays for all/most dates? Women used to earn 75% of what men earn, in the same field, before women's rights. What substance are women giving men, while dating? Please don't give me the listener, voice of reason, comforter replies. Men can receive those things from other men, like the movie The Best Man. R u willing to wash/dry/iron clothes, make a homecooked meal and clean the house(bathroom, dishes washed, floors swept and mopped) for your significant other?

bellydancerinanna​​ I typed all/most. Which meal u're referring to? Please don't say 1st. If u r I guess we won't be dating, unless u come to my place. I can cook. Well, equal pay for equal work is part of the women's act. By ur standard a man would be paying for 75% of the dates. Two weeks ago a female coworker told one of her female associates/friends what she need him for if he's not paying her bills. Her response gave me confirmation not to change my standards on dating. Not to mention I'm a loner other than having female companionship.

bellydancerinanna I know all women aren't like that. Nope. My standards for dating is based on women's rights, only. It's not my fault that some women don't earn as much as men in the same field with the same experience and education. I was raised to be a gentleman, to ur standard, but, I refuse to pay for all/most dates.