Bill Burr⎢Five year olds have no excuse for being fat!⎢Shaq's Five Minute Funnies⎢Comedy Shaq

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Опубликовано:

11 сен 2013

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Комментарии : 1,6 тыс.

@Omgitszackk 7 лет назад

Best entrance: "Was this too quick a transition?"

@kylebecker5647 6 лет назад

Christopher Bales What are you talking about? That joke was clearly about kids, and had nothing to do with black people. Even the people in the audience understood that, quit making everything about race.

@narts83 6 лет назад

Let your eyes adjust lol, dudes too funny

@thehybridkid1615 6 лет назад

RU-vid favors snowflakes so if I dislike your comment I’m gonna let you know because RU-vid won’t. With that being said Christopher your a dumb shit

@dannytv12 6 лет назад

christopher bales huh?

@jasonbasant5624 5 лет назад

@@christopherb5183 nigga what? 😂😂😭😭😭

@Szaam 8 лет назад

"Stop feeding him. He doesn't have any money."

@teejay3698 6 лет назад

Szaam 😂

@benciccarelli9870 5 лет назад

Yeah he did say that in the video, you’re right.

@ramo5442 5 лет назад

holy fuck, that's what he said!

@1afterthep 5 лет назад

He is absolutely right, letting your kid get fat is really child abuse. I'm a kindergarten teacher and I am truly horrified about what I see in some of the kids' lunch boxes. Be parents what the fuck!

@madbear3512 5 лет назад

@@1afterthep God be with you

@duckticklervii854 8 лет назад

"i had my first heart attack when i was 4" that part just killed me XD.

@Kuebel350 8 лет назад

It also ended up killing the child. :P

@ahlemahle7491 7 лет назад

me too hahaha

@yattaguru 7 лет назад

Jordon Emanuel So where do we send the flowers to? 💐

@donaldclinton9548 7 лет назад

may 2 was my birthday

@D3uceMango 7 лет назад

Donald Clinton me too

@tanialasabia3880 5 лет назад

"I own you til you're 18, do some jumping jacks "

@wisconsinlonnie4143 4 года назад

Hilfuckinarious 😂 😂 I'm Wisconsin Lonnie and I approve this message ™

@imbi9580 4 года назад

Not really related but i walked 2.5 kilometres everyday to go to school. Then i graduated and went to work and gained 10kgs in a span of 10 months

@itpugil 4 года назад

@@imbi9580 You should continue walking

@sub1469 10 лет назад

His confused and girl voice are so fucking funny LOL

@matthewprestia7647 7 лет назад

gg 123 swing and a miss

@keemleex5189 7 лет назад

Kind of sounds like Stewart from Madtv! the "Look what I can do" guy! lol

@jakoda2514 6 лет назад

Are you related to Joe Swanson?

@danfrednz 3 года назад

what? your a fucking moron. talking about obese CHILDREN

@mrkdemeritt 3 года назад

His girl voice which I've heard his wife Nina reply how it is not correct, is like he's trying to be a gay man y'all rememberPaul Lynde from celebrity whatever or the Hollywood squares?

@christianvennemann9008 6 лет назад

"Uhh...there was a hurricane. Uhhh...people are wet." 😂😂

@Blowhole6969 5 лет назад

that was basically Trumps speech...

@Grey_7 5 лет назад

X 😂😂😂

@El_LeChErO91 4 года назад

Bruh😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 that had me going for awhile

@AmazinglyGayPhil 4 года назад

@@Blowhole6969 orange man bad.

@GraceMusyoka 4 года назад

@@Grey_7 Trump

@theenergyalchemist6206 8 лет назад

I love Bill Burr! Just his voice alone is hilarious!😀

@tonybparalegal 8 лет назад

Yes, he uses his voice really well. He said watching George Carlin made him pay more attention to that. But, his voice is more interesting than Carlin's.

@theenergyalchemist6206 8 лет назад

Have you seen the animated series on netflix were Bill Burr does the voice for the dad? Its called F is for family. Its soo funny!

@tyuirtyyu9035 7 лет назад

@kubel83 7 лет назад

Nari Freeman okay i know this is old but, yeah i think he is great too. His voice, the way he moves on stage. It is really hard for me to watch another comedian after seen Bill Burr. He just sets a standard that no one can keep up with.. Hell he is the best comedian i have ever seen.

@theenergyalchemist6206 7 лет назад

kubel83 Yea, he's great. Have you seen the shoe F is for family on netflix? He does the voice for the dad. Its really funny too!

@Charlie_Alpha_Lima 8 лет назад

This was the first time I saw Bill Burr. He has since become my favourite comedian of all time. Every single angry thing he rants about is comic gold! Bill Burr is the truth!

@elmSTREETnasty 8 лет назад

+CallMeLum So this is about 10 years old, right? Maybe a little less? Damn man I wish I knew who he was back then. I was still listening to shitty stand up around that time.

@elmSTREETnasty 8 лет назад

haart123 Hell yeah man Bill is awesome.

@efisgpr 7 лет назад

CallMeLum I HOPE you haven't heard his podcast....so u can thank me 😂😂

@tolkienbullet 5 лет назад

where was this at?

@pyetorshite7379 5 лет назад

The phillyrant is by far one of thee best

@GNerdful 4 года назад

As a former fat kid I agree. I wish my parents were more into making me eat healthy when I was younger. It's easier to break bad habits when you're 5 than twenty years later

@standupstraight9691 2 года назад

When I was about 12-13 I was fat. I ate strawberry jam and cream sandwiches after school, and who knows what else. I would in no way allow my kid to do that.

@somegirl558 2 года назад

Yeah but.. You have the right being as happy as as you are happy thin... It's your life, f. them.

@flyingdutchdan 2 года назад

@@somegirl558 yes definitely. But being fat should not be normalized or promoted. Since obesity causes physical problems and has therefore directly an influence on your mental health as well. What you say is the typical 2022 thing to say… probably youre fat yourself and too lazy to put in the effort

@Tnargav 2 года назад

@@somegirl558 Not when it eventually becomes a burden to your family and others.

@mattblah7737 2 года назад

Damn near impossible as an adult. Most parents really just don't care all that much

@geanniechecks8084 4 года назад

"You're eating carrots and celery until I can pick you up again.." 😂😂

@MidnighttWolf 2 года назад

@H8er-Maker 5 лет назад

"Stop feeding him, he doesn't have any money" simple truth. Yet comical

@orochikaiba 6 лет назад

"I told him he couldn't have a cupcake and he just sat on my chest"😂😂😂😂

@D.Antony 4 года назад

Bill is one of the best comedians ever. He's relentless. Every second of every minute of every show is a hit. There's no down time.

@musicsdarkangel 9 лет назад

Bill Burr is just incredibly good. And it's not even an act… it's just who he is. There isn't an audience who wouldn't enjoy this guy. Other than feminists :D

@thefiremensch 9 лет назад

yeahhh I was gonna say, feminists hate him!

@MeishaAthma 9 лет назад

bledredwine ... and obese kids ;-)

@lowridersethman 9 лет назад

Oh well let the feminists hate. Do you know anybody that likes feminists? I sure as sh*t don't! Maybe the feminists and fat kids can team up so then they can have somebody else that likes them besides themselves! :-P

@TheBlackJacksItalia 9 лет назад

***** being hated by feminists is nothing but a badge of honor..

@lowridersethman 9 лет назад

***** Just wanted to give a shout to you, and say good for you for not discarding your ability to see the humor in things in spite of any terrible past ordeals you've experienced! I know it's hard to not let these things define you. Hope you stay true to yourself and never lose that laughter!

@Elgar337 9 лет назад

That lady is dying of laughter, LOL!

@neanam 4 года назад

Timestamp?

@davidmartineztorres8731 2 года назад

@@neanam 1:35

@MindfulAttraction2.0 5 лет назад

He’s invited to the cookout

@Giga_Ninja 3 года назад

I second that.

@geezushasrisen 3 года назад

No he’s not. I love Bill, but stop inviting white people to the “barbecue” because their funny/normal, decent people.

@manwithopinions12 3 года назад

@@geezushasrisen so what should people invite them for?

@Nyxiro 3 года назад

@@manwithopinions12 they can’t be normal apparently so I guess we gotta invite the non funny normal people

@manwithopinions12 3 года назад

@@Nyxiro and apparently indecent as well

@ThePhunkyPharaoh 8 лет назад

I love this guy. He just speaks his mind and it's fucking hilarious.

@sunairjet 9 лет назад

I think Bill Burr had one of those real fathers. You know those that are not on reality shows "my kids is out of control. What can I do". Nah, his father just told Bill Burr what to do. Like a parent.

@bartborganelli7301 5 лет назад

Yeah, just like the rest of us growing up in the 60's and 70's... The majority of us had fathers and I never heard, "Now, I'm going to count to three... or, If I have to tell you again..." HELL NO! We were told ONCE and after that FREE FLYING LESSONS! Were we abused? Most of us not, some yes. But we certainly respected them and there was nothing wrong with fear being a motivator!! The only greater emotion was that the love and provision the fathers also showed us. Period, the end.

@lawlicht8092 5 лет назад

Nowaday most parents send their kids to a corner for a "timeout" as punishment. WHAT THE FUCK IS A TIMEOUT?

@WiseYetti 5 лет назад

@@lawlicht8092 I'd take a smack over a timeout anyday. Timeout is legit torture unless meditating

@ribby9069 5 лет назад

Bart Borganelli counting to three worked a treat on me and my siblings. Once a bystander was so concerned by our reaction to it she asked my mum what happened when she got to three. She replied she didn’t know, it had never happened.

@JimBob-ky8sm 5 лет назад

If you want to see what bills dad was like just watch F is for family.

@Boy_O_Boy 2 года назад

Bill Burr's impersonation of white women never fails to crack me up🤣

@eatass5627 11 месяцев назад

He’s literally doing his wife’s exact voice and she’s black as night

@JeffersonDinedAlone 9 лет назад

Burr has been around for over 20 years; it can take a while to become established.

@htxflow 8 лет назад

Exactly. Same with my other favorite comedian Corey Holcomb. These guys been doing comedy since mid 20's but didn't get fully established til their late 30's.../early 40's. It's refreshing to know all their hard work finally paid off

@ottogofast3882 5 лет назад

That’s usually how it goes for most comedians unfortunately

@TheSlammurai 4 года назад

Cause Bill is a stubborn fuck and we all love him for it.

@nikoscharalampidis7153 3 года назад

Man, no one else makes me laugh as hard as Bill Burr does. His humor is so smart and to the point.

@Furykidxxx 8 лет назад

Burr is an outstanding comedian and most of the things he comments about are actually absolute gospel! How can fucking parents complaint about ANYTHING when THEY are they ones who feed their kids. Some parents need to be parented themselves, for fuck sake!

@PaulSchober 8 лет назад

This reminds me of a Simpsons bit about obesity in one of Lisa's school films on genetics. The moderator is talking about how "fat children naturally come from fat parents", and they show a fat little kid, then the camera zooms out a bit to show the parents are also fat, but all 3 are scarfing down pizza.

@kakarot1192 8 лет назад

oh yeah I remember that

@fatboitino2 4 года назад

Hahah

@BamaShinesDistillery 4 года назад

Hell its true. My wifes niece came over this past week....she has gotten soooo fat and shes like 10. But its no coincedence that her mamma is big enough to make a cow jealous. Its all her fault. Of course I made my thoughts known and get called an asshole, but hey.....theyve called me that before.

@Dave_ja_vu 4 года назад

Fat kids come from lazy shitty parents. Either it's because the parents are fat lazy fucks and they picked up the habits and the poor diet, or they are useless parents letting screens raise their kids and feeding them trash.

@Dave_ja_vu 4 года назад

And when you couple that with a nation where they eat commercially processed food on average 4-5 times a week, it's gonna lead to disaster.

@MotleyStew 6 лет назад

“...until I can pick you up again.” HAH! Killed me!!

@lougehrigsdisease7945 10 месяцев назад

"Good, go to bed" is the family I grew up with.

@christinemarie4486 9 лет назад

I'm a 35 year old married woman and I don't care who you are, I don't want to share oxygen with anyone (feminist or not) that doesn't think this dude is hilarious. He is a brilliant naturally funny guy!

@DanFoolio 5 лет назад

"He sat on my chest" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

@Tee-OhBee 8 лет назад

"Shaq's Five Minute Funnies" clip is under 4 mins

@RockDavid 8 лет назад

+Tee OB and if it was 5:01 you would sit here and complain with your entitlement big talk right? h aha move on

@Tee-OhBee 8 лет назад

David R entitlement big talk? It's a comment I made in good fun get your panties out of a bunch.

@RockDavid 8 лет назад

Tee OB ha ha, you seem to lack the brain and missed the comment, seems Bill burr is over your head sugggest you move on

@Tee-OhBee 8 лет назад

David R please explain

@Tee-OhBee 7 лет назад

David R still waiting on that explanation

@waynefarrellvoiceovers 4 года назад

“I’ll let your eyes adjust...” Genius!

@wingman-1977 5 лет назад

You know you’re good when you have the brothas rolling.

@efisgpr 7 лет назад

1:38 WOW she is SO CUTE

@Bangtanlicious-ev3sn 6 лет назад

2:37 I love when he does that voice

@GP-ci8qt 3 года назад

Burr: "Could Bush rehearse before he gives a speech?" Me, in 2020: Yikes....

@44BlueFoxes 3 года назад

I was just thinking the same thing. Could at least write some crib notes on the underside of that fake hair to glance at occasionally before he goes off spouting about walls.

@NathielIsaac 3 года назад

@@44BlueFoxes Sheesh man y’all just hate the dude... Salt.

@44BlueFoxes 3 года назад

@@NathielIsaacI don't hate anyone. But whenever Trump does a press conference he sounds like a seven year old giving a report on a book he didn't read. He makes Bush's speeches sound eloquent.

@AC-iz7eh 3 года назад

What I thought Trump was pretty good at giving speeches he even had those Marvel quips thrown in during debates with other people. Those one liners are instant memes

@mr.doctorcaptain1124 3 года назад

@@44BlueFoxes and now we have a president who has full blown dementia

@bang5146 4 года назад

I can see how Patrice love him. Bill Burr carries Patrice spirit for us.

@christophert8419 4 года назад

The impression of every “Karen” tryna set their kids straight was spot on

@Ironborn4 3 года назад

This was when Bill just started dating a black girl isn't it? He's looking like 90's RnB producer

@jameslisle7775 5 лет назад

Even his mannerisms are hilarious! Incredibly talented!

@m_winewood 5 лет назад

Damn ol girl at 1:40 cute af.

@antred11 4 года назад

Yup!

@joeyzwier 3 года назад

@Ashvin Vaidyanathan What, you think she's ugly?

@deltahomicide9300 3 года назад

DSL's

@keithlauderjr1691 4 года назад

The wit of Carlin and delivery of Dice. One of the best. ❤

@dirtybaystrangler 6 лет назад

The girl at 1:41 is gorgeous!

@sunofpeter2 3 года назад

hahaha Dude i serched for this comment! Some fat kid joke was going on, i was laughing then boom , i am like Dayum! no my life is less complete knowing she is out there. jk she is gorgeous though

@sunofpeter2 3 года назад

actually the crowd is full of hotties!

@gregtechno506 3 года назад

2:53 nice view

@bs-py7ru 3 года назад

Burr: "Could Bush rehearse before he gives a speech?" Me, in 2020: Yikes....

@theresawilliams4296 2 года назад

He sat on my chest and I couldn't breathe. He got a hernia for his birthday. Those two lines right there, just cracked me up. A true comedian genius.

@80468046 3 года назад

"Stop feeding him...he doesn't have any money"

@JasonandaCamera 7 лет назад

That book sounds interesting. Gonna find it on amazon

@metalman552 6 лет назад

Go to a bookstore!

@henrygalvan9333 6 лет назад

Lol maybe SK - cujo

@chrisp2481 5 лет назад

its the Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night. excellent read

@Rogersensei93 5 лет назад

Metalman do bookstores deliver to your door

@mad-official 2 года назад

1:08 Can you imagine being a comedian and getting a reaction like that out of somebody. That's gotta feel amazing.

@tribecop 2 года назад

Obese kids were a rarity when I was a kid in the 60's. We ate home cooked meals, played sports and rode our bikes everywhere.

@vitocorleone1462 5 лет назад

"I'll just let your eyes adjust"😂😂😂

@namarie.2289 4 года назад

*Your eating carrots and celery until I can pick you up again* That part killed me like a 4 year old having a heart attack.

@beerich2872 4 года назад

I had no idea this guy was this hilarious ,I think his tone of voice and his honesty plays a big factor for me liking him..Lol I want more .

@adrianpate4694 10 месяцев назад

😂key elements in comedy

@dianegoncalves9471 5 лет назад

Billy killing it for decades best comic ever!

@karakatowTV 4 года назад

1:31 "I ha.. I had.." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@vladtepes9614 4 года назад

"No, you little shit. You're eating carrots and celery until I can pick you up again". lololololol!!!!

@larrytan16 Год назад

"They are like locusts" Fxck me blind! That was hilarious....

@maxbowie6074 Год назад

I must confess I'm very late to the party with this guy, but what a talent. My god he's funny

@Miltongoldst4R 3 года назад

They don't make comedians like Bill anymore, we have to enjoy it while he's here.

@aidangriffiths5075 9 месяцев назад

Carrots and salads until i can pick you up again 😂

@adrianpate4694 10 месяцев назад

Bill burr with hair was hilarious

@randalltrantham5082 4 года назад

so awesome to see everyone laughing at this guy, comedy can really transcend social and racial communities

@headhunter7070 2 года назад

The silence when he first said "its the parents fault", tells you all you need to know.

@danielderese3170 4 года назад

"you are going to eat carrot until I can pick you up again".GOLD

@JD-go2qj 4 года назад

I like him lmao. A four yr old getting a heart attack. That shit had me rolling 😂😂

@no-oneman.4140 5 лет назад

From across the pond - this guy is sheer brilliance.

@Sofoluwe 8 лет назад

This guy makes me laugh so hard.

@sstaners1234 3 месяца назад

“You’re eating carrots and salad until I can pick you up again.” 🤣

@ethanlocke3604 2 года назад

“We’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas”

@johndoe-bw6pj 5 лет назад

Love the voices he makes....What a legend....One of the best out there....

@bonesaredollars1172 7 лет назад

Was this the show he met his wife at?

@eddymunster4857 7 лет назад

kevin coots of corpse!

@Cartman4wesome 5 лет назад

Lmao 😂

@cynthiaholland13 5 лет назад

Definitely some beauties there!

@cypher787 6 лет назад

"STOP FEEDIN HIM! HE DOESNT HAVE ANY MONEY" amazing

@libertysumai7809 2 года назад

Bill Blur is the Eminem of comedy.

@luvskatie 6 лет назад

"Was this too quick a transition" fucking dead!!

@N0V3MBER 4 года назад

1:40 ❤ What a beautiful lady!

@user-kb2no8yg1o Год назад

2:53 that woman has her flashback and almost died from it and laughing simultaneously.

@Rj-ij6ko Год назад

“uh…there was a hurricane and uh…people are wet” 😂😂😂😂

@patrickbang3037 4 года назад

i laughed even harder when they cut to the lady OBVIOUSLY mouthing "oh my god" she made it so much funnier lmao

@mystomachhurt9312 4 года назад

Man I can't wait until he have children. His children's life will be a goddamn comedy to anyone but themselves XD.

@sondersonics7534 4 года назад

@Mystomachhurt He has a daughter that’s like 3 years old

@mystomachhurt9312 4 года назад

@@sondersonics7534 yea i just figured t out when I start hearing his podcast a week ago :)

@MrCarter4121 5 лет назад

When Bill Burr goes full Jim Gaffigan! Love it

@danross4377 Год назад

"...he sat on my chest...😩" @2:51 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@WiseAilbhean 7 лет назад

Bill Burr definitely holds a Black Card. He's one of us.

@nuberiffic 5 лет назад

That is the most weirdly racist comment I have ever read

@itswaaaay2ez 5 лет назад

Nope. He's a so-called white man who can make anyone laugh. And just because his wife is black (fine as hell too) doesn't mean he's one of us. He's just funny . . . stop claiming these "white" folks.

@nuberiffic 5 лет назад

@@detectivejimmymcnulty1676 No. It's a racist comment that I found really weird. What part of that do you not understand?

@detectivejimmymcnulty1676 5 лет назад

nuberiffic why is it racist Mr Hypersensitive?

@nuberiffic 5 лет назад

@@detectivejimmymcnulty1676 because race is the only topic in the comment Captain Can't Read

@torrancegraham1661 10 лет назад

I had my first heart attack at 4 lol

@CatsAgainstCommunism 5 лет назад

"No you little shit, you're eating carrots and celery until I can pick you up again." LMAO

@Novous Год назад

"that's the parents fault" [complete silence]

@AmerginMacEccit 9 лет назад

My parents, as much as I love them, and many others, just can't get a grasp how to teach kids good nutrition habits.

@htxflow 8 лет назад

Same with my parents

@urgfswallows 8 лет назад

I firmly believe that with anything in life, moderation is key. You drink too much, guess what, you're probably an alcoholic who's at risk of ruining your life. Eat too much, you'll eventually be an over-weight slob who's health will be at risk. Smoke too much, you'll probably get cancer and possibly die. Its the same with everything else.....the key is moderation. I can still go to McDonald's and eat there, just not everyday. Maybe once every other week and still live a healthy active life. I (nor anyone else for that matter) doesn't need to become a vegetarian in order to improve your health.

@oRuTRa45 10 лет назад

@2:12 Isn't that Ronnie DeVoe from New Edition/Bell Biv DeVoe?

@0Y0L 5 лет назад

I really thinks its him

@Zebra66 Год назад

Bill Burr is one of the few comedians that made more than one funny special.

@3JJ3 2 года назад

look at that magnificent hair, surely he will cherish it forever and never lose it.

@kjh7108 4 года назад

His impression of Bush sounds like how trump speaks 😂

@1969ryson 9 лет назад

That women at 1:40 is very good looking!

@mojostevo 9 лет назад

Dude, she was amazing!

@Timboslice475 9 лет назад

Hell yes!

@mshake 9 лет назад

Chris J I find myself in agreement with you.

@lowridersethman 9 лет назад

She's definitely not a fat feminist! ;-)

@gabriel.hongkong 8 лет назад

Chris J she's a 8/10. but because of those luscious lips i'm gonna give her a 9.5/10

@mfngeez 5 лет назад

“He sat on my chest” part killed me lol

@ShortyTheDireWolf 4 года назад

“No you little shit you’re eating carrots and celery until I can pick you up again.” XD

@FlipStar26 5 лет назад

It's the parent's fault "STOP FEEDIN' EM! HE DOESNT HAVE ANY MONEY!" ...IM DONE! LOL!!!

@NikhilThokal 4 года назад

"This is a tough hurricane. One of the wettest we've ever seen from the standpoint of water" - Trump, 2018

@davidcraig7771 4 года назад

Trump 2020

@jakebenjamin6409 3 года назад

“This is a tough fire, one of the hottest we’ve ever seen from the standpoint of heat” - me, 2020

@rond5936 3 года назад

😂😂😂😂

@user-qo8xk7tg5b 4 года назад

The white Richard Pryor!🤣

@mechengineer4894 Год назад

Chappelle and this guy are the best. You need to hear Bill's construction story when he was on Joe Rogan's show. Never seen Joe laugh that hard before.

@wontondestructxn 9 лет назад

2:13 is that Ronnie Devoe?

@KingOfKingz819 7 лет назад

I made the mistake of watching this while eating and I almost choked from laughing at this shit lol

@anti-victimGenX Год назад

Lol at Bush needing to rehearse... BTW, who's holding Biden's beer?? 😂😂

@kjk2973 3 года назад

Almost died laughing 🤣.......best

@u.s.paratroops4633 3 года назад

"My little brother didn't like what we were having for breakfast...My Dad threw a glass of milk in his face"

@j-dub8399 9 месяцев назад

Here’s what I did: My daughter wouldn’t eat her dinner. I wrapped it up and stashed it in the fridge which then became next morning’s breakfast. That happened twice and that’s it. Easiest kid to feed forever after that and now she’s almost an adult and reflects VERY positively on that experience. Seriously! She’s not scarred or abused or anything. I did her, me, the world a favor. Be a parent not a friend.