Bill Burr⎢Five year olds have no excuse for being fat!⎢Shaq's Five Minute Funnies⎢Comedy Shaq

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26 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 1,6 тыс.

@Omgitszackk 8 лет назад

Best entrance: "Was this too quick a transition?"

@kylebecker5647 6 лет назад

Christopher Bales What are you talking about? That joke was clearly about kids, and had nothing to do with black people. Even the people in the audience understood that, quit making everything about race.

@narts83 6 лет назад

Let your eyes adjust lol, dudes too funny

@thehybridkid1615 6 лет назад

RU-vid favors snowflakes so if I dislike your comment I’m gonna let you know because RU-vid won’t. With that being said Christopher your a dumb shit

@jasonbasant5624 6 лет назад

@@christopherb5183 nigga what? 😂😂😭😭😭

@MrRaja 6 лет назад

@@christopherb5183 hey rude boi you need slapping man? Are you that little 400lb bastard I almost ran over last week?

@duckticklervii854 8 лет назад

"i had my first heart attack when i was 4" that part just killed me XD.

@Kuebel350 8 лет назад

It also ended up killing the child. :P

@ahlemahle7491 8 лет назад

me too hahaha

@yattaguru 8 лет назад

Jordon Emanuel So where do we send the flowers to? 💐

@donaldclinton9548 8 лет назад

may 2 was my birthday

@D3uceMango 7 лет назад

Donald Clinton me too

@Szaam 8 лет назад

"Stop feeding him. He doesn't have any money."

@teejay3698 6 лет назад

Szaam 😂

@benciccarelli9870 6 лет назад

Yeah he did say that in the video, you’re right.

@ramo5442 5 лет назад

holy fuck, that's what he said!

@1afterthep 5 лет назад

He is absolutely right, letting your kid get fat is really child abuse. I'm a kindergarten teacher and I am truly horrified about what I see in some of the kids' lunch boxes. Be parents what the fuck!

@madbear3512 5 лет назад

@@1afterthep God be with you

@taniathewise8 5 лет назад

"I own you til you're 18, do some jumping jacks "

@wisconsinlonnie4143 5 лет назад

Hilfuckinarious 😂 😂 I'm Wisconsin Lonnie and I approve this message ™

@imbi9580 4 года назад

Not really related but i walked 2.5 kilometres everyday to go to school. Then i graduated and went to work and gained 10kgs in a span of 10 months

@itpugil 4 года назад

@@imbi9580 You should continue walking

@Charlie_Alpha_Lima 9 лет назад

This was the first time I saw Bill Burr. He has since become my favourite comedian of all time. Every single angry thing he rants about is comic gold! Bill Burr is the truth!

@elmSTREETnasty 8 лет назад

+CallMeLum So this is about 10 years old, right? Maybe a little less? Damn man I wish I knew who he was back then. I was still listening to shitty stand up around that time.

@elmSTREETnasty 8 лет назад

haart123 Hell yeah man Bill is awesome.

@efisgpr 7 лет назад

CallMeLum I HOPE you haven't heard his podcast....so u can thank me 😂😂

@tolkienbullet 6 лет назад

where was this at?

@pyetorshite7379 5 лет назад

The phillyrant is by far one of thee best

@sub1469 10 лет назад

His confused and girl voice are so fucking funny LOL

@matthewprestia7647 7 лет назад

gg 123 swing and a miss

@keemleex5189 7 лет назад

Kind of sounds like Stewart from Madtv! the "Look what I can do" guy! lol

@jakoda2514 6 лет назад

Are you related to Joe Swanson?

@mrkdemeritt 3 года назад

His girl voice which I've heard his wife Nina reply how it is not correct, is like he's trying to be a gay man y'all rememberPaul Lynde from celebrity whatever or the Hollywood squares?

@mrkdemeritt 3 года назад

@Daniel Frederikson exactly, bill is really funny of a lot of things but the one thing might not the one thing but the specific thing that I think is chickenshit is the whole talking about obese people. Oh I imagine being overweight is just such a f****** pleasure, and we're really sorry that little Billy boy has to fix his eyes on someone who is heavier than he is. He's done a lot of really great stuff but that is complete chickenshit

@christianvennemann9008 6 лет назад

"Uhh...there was a hurricane. Uhhh...people are wet." 😂😂

@Blowhole6969 6 лет назад

that was basically Trumps speech...

@Grey_7 5 лет назад

X 😂😂😂

@El_LeChErO91 4 года назад

Bruh😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 that had me going for awhile

@AmazinglyGayPhil 4 года назад

@@Blowhole6969 orange man bad.

@GraceMusyoka 4 года назад

@@Grey_7 Trump

@theenergyalchemist6206 8 лет назад

I love Bill Burr! Just his voice alone is hilarious!😀

@tonybparalegal 8 лет назад

Yes, he uses his voice really well. He said watching George Carlin made him pay more attention to that. But, his voice is more interesting than Carlin's.

@theenergyalchemist6206 8 лет назад

Have you seen the animated series on netflix were Bill Burr does the voice for the dad? Its called F is for family. Its soo funny!

@tyuirtyyu9035 8 лет назад

@kubel83 8 лет назад

Nari Freeman okay i know this is old but, yeah i think he is great too. His voice, the way he moves on stage. It is really hard for me to watch another comedian after seen Bill Burr. He just sets a standard that no one can keep up with.. Hell he is the best comedian i have ever seen.

@theenergyalchemist6206 8 лет назад

kubel83 Yea, he's great. Have you seen the shoe F is for family on netflix? He does the voice for the dad. Its really funny too!

@H8er-Maker 5 лет назад

"Stop feeding him, he doesn't have any money" simple truth. Yet comical

@geanniechecks8084 5 лет назад

"You're eating carrots and celery until I can pick you up again.." 😂😂

@MidnighttWolf 2 года назад

@GNerdful 4 года назад

As a former fat kid I agree. I wish my parents were more into making me eat healthy when I was younger. It's easier to break bad habits when you're 5 than twenty years later

@standupstraight9691 2 года назад

When I was about 12-13 I was fat. I ate strawberry jam and cream sandwiches after school, and who knows what else. I would in no way allow my kid to do that.

@somegirl558 2 года назад

Yeah but.. You have the right being as happy as as you are happy thin... It's your life, f. them.

@flyingdutchdan 2 года назад

@@somegirl558 yes definitely. But being fat should not be normalized or promoted. Since obesity causes physical problems and has therefore directly an influence on your mental health as well. What you say is the typical 2022 thing to say… probably youre fat yourself and too lazy to put in the effort

@Tnargav 2 года назад

@@somegirl558 Not when it eventually becomes a burden to your family and others.

@mattblah7737 2 года назад

Damn near impossible as an adult. Most parents really just don't care all that much

@D.Antony 4 года назад

Bill is one of the best comedians ever. He's relentless. Every second of every minute of every show is a hit. There's no down time.

@orochikaiba 6 лет назад

"I told him he couldn't have a cupcake and he just sat on my chest"😂😂😂😂

@kingayy9267 Месяц назад

"JC, they're *everywhere!* They're like locusts!" This dude is friggin hilarious.

@musicsdarkangel 9 лет назад

Bill Burr is just incredibly good. And it's not even an act… it's just who he is. There isn't an audience who wouldn't enjoy this guy. Other than feminists :D

@thefiremensch 9 лет назад

yeahhh I was gonna say, feminists hate him!

@MeishaAthma 9 лет назад

bledredwine ... and obese kids ;-)

@lowridersethman 9 лет назад

Oh well let the feminists hate. Do you know anybody that likes feminists? I sure as sh*t don't! Maybe the feminists and fat kids can team up so then they can have somebody else that likes them besides themselves! :-P

@TheBlackJacksItalia 9 лет назад

***** being hated by feminists is nothing but a badge of honor..

@lowridersethman 9 лет назад

***** Just wanted to give a shout to you, and say good for you for not discarding your ability to see the humor in things in spite of any terrible past ordeals you've experienced! I know it's hard to not let these things define you. Hope you stay true to yourself and never lose that laughter!

@MindfulAttraction2.0 5 лет назад

He’s invited to the cookout

@Giga_Ninja 3 года назад

I second that.

@geezushasrisen 3 года назад

No he’s not. I love Bill, but stop inviting white people to the “barbecue” because their funny/normal, decent people.

@manwithopinions12 3 года назад

@@geezushasrisen so what should people invite them for?

@Nyxiro 3 года назад

@@manwithopinions12 they can’t be normal apparently so I guess we gotta invite the non funny normal people

@manwithopinions12 3 года назад

@@Nyxiro and apparently indecent as well

@ThePhunkyPharaoh 8 лет назад

I love this guy. He just speaks his mind and it's fucking hilarious.

@Elgar337 10 лет назад

That lady is dying of laughter, LOL!

@neanam 5 лет назад

Timestamp?

@davidmartineztorres8731 3 года назад

@@neanam 1:35

@sunairjet 10 лет назад

I think Bill Burr had one of those real fathers. You know those that are not on reality shows "my kids is out of control. What can I do". Nah, his father just told Bill Burr what to do. Like a parent.

@bartborganelli7301 5 лет назад

Yeah, just like the rest of us growing up in the 60's and 70's... The majority of us had fathers and I never heard, "Now, I'm going to count to three... or, If I have to tell you again..." HELL NO! We were told ONCE and after that FREE FLYING LESSONS! Were we abused? Most of us not, some yes. But we certainly respected them and there was nothing wrong with fear being a motivator!! The only greater emotion was that the love and provision the fathers also showed us. Period, the end.

@lawlicht8092 5 лет назад

Nowaday most parents send their kids to a corner for a "timeout" as punishment. WHAT THE FUCK IS A TIMEOUT?

@WiseYetti 5 лет назад

@@lawlicht8092 I'd take a smack over a timeout anyday. Timeout is legit torture unless meditating

@ribby9069 5 лет назад

Bart Borganelli counting to three worked a treat on me and my siblings. Once a bystander was so concerned by our reaction to it she asked my mum what happened when she got to three. She replied she didn’t know, it had never happened.

@JimBob-ky8sm 5 лет назад

If you want to see what bills dad was like just watch F is for family.

@JeffersonDinedAlone 10 лет назад

Burr has been around for over 20 years; it can take a while to become established.

@htxflow 8 лет назад

Exactly. Same with my other favorite comedian Corey Holcomb. These guys been doing comedy since mid 20's but didn't get fully established til their late 30's.../early 40's. It's refreshing to know all their hard work finally paid off

@ottogofast3882 5 лет назад

That’s usually how it goes for most comedians unfortunately

@TheSlammurai 5 лет назад

Cause Bill is a stubborn fuck and we all love him for it.

@marcus00077 4 года назад

Man, no one else makes me laugh as hard as Bill Burr does. His humor is so smart and to the point.

@lougehrigsdisease7945 Год назад

"Good, go to bed" is the family I grew up with.

@sstaners1234 6 месяцев назад

“You’re eating carrots and salad until I can pick you up again.” 🤣

@efisgpr 7 лет назад

1:38 WOW she is SO CUTE

@christinemarie4486 9 лет назад

I'm a 35 year old married woman and I don't care who you are, I don't want to share oxygen with anyone (feminist or not) that doesn't think this dude is hilarious. He is a brilliant naturally funny guy!

@waynefarrellvoiceovers 5 лет назад

“I’ll let your eyes adjust...” Genius!

@MotleyStew 6 лет назад

“...until I can pick you up again.” HAH! Killed me!!

@PaulSchober 9 лет назад

This reminds me of a Simpsons bit about obesity in one of Lisa's school films on genetics. The moderator is talking about how "fat children naturally come from fat parents", and they show a fat little kid, then the camera zooms out a bit to show the parents are also fat, but all 3 are scarfing down pizza.

@kakarot1192 8 лет назад

oh yeah I remember that

@fatboitino2 5 лет назад

Hahah

@BamaShinesDistillery 5 лет назад

Hell its true. My wifes niece came over this past week....she has gotten soooo fat and shes like 10. But its no coincedence that her mamma is big enough to make a cow jealous. Its all her fault. Of course I made my thoughts known and get called an asshole, but hey.....theyve called me that before.

@Dave_ja_vu 5 лет назад

Fat kids come from lazy shitty parents. Either it's because the parents are fat lazy fucks and they picked up the habits and the poor diet, or they are useless parents letting screens raise their kids and feeding them trash.

@Dave_ja_vu 5 лет назад

And when you couple that with a nation where they eat commercially processed food on average 4-5 times a week, it's gonna lead to disaster.

@wingman-1977 5 лет назад

You know you’re good when you have the brothas rolling.

@aidangriffiths5075 Год назад

Carrots and salads until i can pick you up again 😂

@Bangtanlicious-ev3sn 6 лет назад

2:37 I love when he does that voice

@DanFoolio 6 лет назад

"He sat on my chest" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

@bang5146 4 года назад

I can see how Patrice love him. Bill Burr carries Patrice spirit for us.

@mad-official 2 года назад

1:08 Can you imagine being a comedian and getting a reaction like that out of somebody. That's gotta feel amazing.

@tribecop 2 года назад

Obese kids were a rarity when I was a kid in the 60's. We ate home cooked meals, played sports and rode our bikes everywhere.

@JasonandaCamera 7 лет назад

That book sounds interesting. Gonna find it on amazon

@metalman552 6 лет назад

Go to a bookstore!

@henrygalvan9333 6 лет назад

Lol maybe SK - cujo

@chrisp2481 6 лет назад

its the Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night. excellent read

@Rogersensei93 6 лет назад

Metalman do bookstores deliver to your door

@beerich2872 4 года назад

I had no idea this guy was this hilarious ,I think his tone of voice and his honesty plays a big factor for me liking him..Lol I want more .

@adrianpate4694 Год назад

😂key elements in comedy

@jameslisle7775 5 лет назад

Even his mannerisms are hilarious! Incredibly talented!

@christophert8419 4 года назад

The impression of every “Karen” tryna set their kids straight was spot on

@m_winewood 5 лет назад

Damn ol girl at 1:40 cute af.

@antred11 4 года назад

Yup!

@joeyzwier 4 года назад

@Ashvin Vaidyanathan What, you think she's ugly?

@deltahomicide9300 4 года назад

DSL's

@Tee-OhBee 9 лет назад

"Shaq's Five Minute Funnies" clip is under 4 mins

@RockDavid 9 лет назад

+Tee OB and if it was 5:01 you would sit here and complain with your entitlement big talk right? h aha move on

@Tee-OhBee 9 лет назад

David R entitlement big talk? It's a comment I made in good fun get your panties out of a bunch.

@RockDavid 9 лет назад

Tee OB ha ha, you seem to lack the brain and missed the comment, seems Bill burr is over your head sugggest you move on

@Tee-OhBee 9 лет назад

David R please explain

@Tee-OhBee 8 лет назад

David R still waiting on that explanation

@GP-ci8qt 4 года назад

Burr: "Could Bush rehearse before he gives a speech?" Me, in 2020: Yikes....

@44BlueFoxes 4 года назад

I was just thinking the same thing. Could at least write some crib notes on the underside of that fake hair to glance at occasionally before he goes off spouting about walls.

@NathielIsaac 3 года назад

@@44BlueFoxes Sheesh man y’all just hate the dude... Salt.

@44BlueFoxes 3 года назад

@@NathielIsaacI don't hate anyone. But whenever Trump does a press conference he sounds like a seven year old giving a report on a book he didn't read. He makes Bush's speeches sound eloquent.

@AC-iz7eh 3 года назад

What I thought Trump was pretty good at giving speeches he even had those Marvel quips thrown in during debates with other people. Those one liners are instant memes

@mr.doctorcaptain1124 3 года назад

@@44BlueFoxes and now we have a president who has full blown dementia

@theresawilliams4296 2 года назад

He sat on my chest and I couldn't breathe. He got a hernia for his birthday. Those two lines right there, just cracked me up. A true comedian genius.

@Rj-ij6ko 2 года назад

“uh…there was a hurricane and uh…people are wet” 😂😂😂😂

@Ironborn4 3 года назад

This was when Bill just started dating a black girl isn't it? He's looking like 90's RnB producer

@dianegoncalves9471 5 лет назад

Billy killing it for decades best comic ever!

@dirtybaystrangler 6 лет назад

The girl at 1:41 is gorgeous!

@sunofpeter2 4 года назад

hahaha Dude i serched for this comment! Some fat kid joke was going on, i was laughing then boom , i am like Dayum! no my life is less complete knowing she is out there. jk she is gorgeous though

@sunofpeter2 4 года назад

actually the crowd is full of hotties!

@gregtechno506 4 года назад

2:53 nice view

@bs-py7ru 3 года назад

Burr: "Could Bush rehearse before he gives a speech?" Me, in 2020: Yikes....

@kno6ndg7 Год назад

2:53 that woman has her flashback and almost died from it and laughing simultaneously.

@namarie.2289 5 лет назад

*Your eating carrots and celery until I can pick you up again* That part killed me like a 4 year old having a heart attack.

@vitocorleone1462 6 лет назад

"I'll just let your eyes adjust"😂😂😂

@davidusa47 4 месяца назад

Five year olds have excuses. The parents don’t have an excuse

@randalltrantham5082 5 лет назад

so awesome to see everyone laughing at this guy, comedy can really transcend social and racial communities

@ethanlocke3604 3 года назад

“We’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas”

@no-oneman.4140 5 лет назад

From across the pond - this guy is sheer brilliance.

@adrianpate4694 Год назад

Bill burr with hair was hilarious

@j-dub8399 Год назад

Here’s what I did: My daughter wouldn’t eat her dinner. I wrapped it up and stashed it in the fridge which then became next morning’s breakfast. That happened twice and that’s it. Easiest kid to feed forever after that and now she’s almost an adult and reflects VERY positively on that experience. Seriously! She’s not scarred or abused or anything. I did her, me, the world a favor. Be a parent not a friend.

@FreshLexo 10 месяцев назад

Fascinating. Bill has a similar joke where his mom did that to his brother.

@vladtepes9614 5 лет назад

"No, you little shit. You're eating carrots and celery until I can pick you up again". lololololol!!!!

@karakatowTV 4 года назад

1:31 "I ha.. I had.." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@NightHawkLocket 5 лет назад

“No you little shit you’re eating carrots and celery until I can pick you up again.” XD

@N0V3MBER 4 года назад

1:40 ❤ What a beautiful lady!

@turdusmerula_ 10 месяцев назад

Bill is just amazing

@oRuTRa45 10 лет назад

@2:12 Isn't that Ronnie DeVoe from New Edition/Bell Biv DeVoe?

@0Y0L 5 лет назад

I really thinks its him

@Fotosynthesis858 Год назад

If Chappelle is the GOAT then Bill Burr is the WHITE GOAT lol! This dude is a fuggen genius! 😂

@Sofoluwe 8 лет назад

This guy makes me laugh so hard.

@josedavidcozarortiz153 2 года назад

"tough love" we need this so so much

@NikhilThokal 4 года назад

"This is a tough hurricane. One of the wettest we've ever seen from the standpoint of water" - Trump, 2018

@davidcraig7771 4 года назад

Trump 2020

@jakebenjamin6409 4 года назад

“This is a tough fire, one of the hottest we’ve ever seen from the standpoint of heat” - me, 2020

@rond5936 3 года назад

😂😂😂😂

@danielderese3170 4 года назад

"you are going to eat carrot until I can pick you up again".GOLD

@JD-go2qj 4 года назад

I like him lmao. A four yr old getting a heart attack. That shit had me rolling 😂😂

@ikkenhisatsu7170 Год назад

I don't know if it's Chappelle or Burr, but one f them is the best comedian alive. RIP Norm, MacDonald, though.

@bonesaredollars1172 7 лет назад

Was this the show he met his wife at?

@eddymunster4857 7 лет назад

kevin coots of corpse!

@Cartman4wesome 6 лет назад

Lmao 😂

@cynthiaholland13 6 лет назад

Definitely some beauties there!

@Zebra66 Год назад

Bill Burr is one of the few comedians that made more than one funny special.

@aqua-mina 6 лет назад

he actually makes me laugh out loud, havent done that in a while. Been watching all his youtube clips with him in it. Bill Burr, you've got a new fan!

@johanandersson2391 2 года назад

So fkn funny and so much truth here it's ridiculous. Bill Burr is truly one of the best.

@mystomachhurt9312 4 года назад

Man I can't wait until he have children. His children's life will be a goddamn comedy to anyone but themselves XD.

@sondersonics7534 4 года назад

@Mystomachhurt He has a daughter that’s like 3 years old

@mystomachhurt9312 4 года назад

@@sondersonics7534 yea i just figured t out when I start hearing his podcast a week ago :)

@anti-victimGenX 2 года назад

Lol at Bush needing to rehearse... BTW, who's holding Biden's beer?? 😂😂

@luvskatie 7 лет назад

"Was this too quick a transition" fucking dead!!

@Furykidxxx 8 лет назад

Burr is an outstanding comedian and most of the things he comments about are actually absolute gospel! How can fucking parents complaint about ANYTHING when THEY are they ones who feed their kids. Some parents need to be parented themselves, for fuck sake!

@danross4377 2 года назад

"...he sat on my chest...😩" @2:51 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@1969ryson 9 лет назад

That women at 1:40 is very good looking!

@mojostevo 9 лет назад

Dude, she was amazing!

@Timboslice475 9 лет назад

Hell yes!

@mshake 9 лет назад

Chris J I find myself in agreement with you.

@lowridersethman 9 лет назад

She's definitely not a fat feminist! ;-)

@gabriel.hongkong 9 лет назад

Chris J she's a 8/10. but because of those luscious lips i'm gonna give her a 9.5/10

@spacemilk4010 3 года назад

Bill Burr wakes up and chooses violence 😭

@kristasparks33 3 года назад

He is totally right being overweight isn't healthy at all no matter what age

@jmack619 11 месяцев назад

Carrots and celery until i can pick you up again .

@WiseAilbhean 7 лет назад

Bill Burr definitely holds a Black Card. He's one of us.

@nuberiffic 6 лет назад

That is the most weirdly racist comment I have ever read

@itswaaaay2ez 6 лет назад

Nope. He's a so-called white man who can make anyone laugh. And just because his wife is black (fine as hell too) doesn't mean he's one of us. He's just funny . . . stop claiming these "white" folks.

@nuberiffic 6 лет назад

@@detectivejimmymcnulty1676 No. It's a racist comment that I found really weird. What part of that do you not understand?

@detectivejimmymcnulty1676 6 лет назад

nuberiffic why is it racist Mr Hypersensitive?

@nuberiffic 6 лет назад

@@detectivejimmymcnulty1676 because race is the only topic in the comment Captain Can't Read

@Milestonemonger 2 года назад

It's the parents' fault! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

@AmerginMacEccit 9 лет назад

My parents, as much as I love them, and many others, just can't get a grasp how to teach kids good nutrition habits.

@htxflow 8 лет назад

Same with my parents

@urgfswallows 8 лет назад

I firmly believe that with anything in life, moderation is key. You drink too much, guess what, you're probably an alcoholic who's at risk of ruining your life. Eat too much, you'll eventually be an over-weight slob who's health will be at risk. Smoke too much, you'll probably get cancer and possibly die. Its the same with everything else.....the key is moderation. I can still go to McDonald's and eat there, just not everyday. Maybe once every other week and still live a healthy active life. I (nor anyone else for that matter) doesn't need to become a vegetarian in order to improve your health.

@TheProdigalCat 5 лет назад

"No you little shit, you're eating carrots and celery until I can pick you up again." LMAO

@kemo7821 5 лет назад

How to stop childhood obesity :keep them away from grandma

@mechengineer4894 2 года назад

Chappelle and this guy are the best. You need to hear Bill's construction story when he was on Joe Rogan's show. Never seen Joe laugh that hard before.

@FlipStar26 6 лет назад

It's the parent's fault "STOP FEEDIN' EM! HE DOESNT HAVE ANY MONEY!" ...IM DONE! LOL!!!

@3JJ3 2 года назад

look at that magnificent hair, surely he will cherish it forever and never lose it.

@u.s.paratroops4633 3 года назад

"My little brother didn't like what we were having for breakfast...My Dad threw a glass of milk in his face"

@albertalbert7958 5 лет назад

He is making fun of Parents over feeding their 5 years old kids with cupcakes. He is not making fun of the obese kids, he is advocating for them. That's why Bill is the best.