My ex cheated on me and she was one of those women who always said she hated cheaters and would never do that. Guys, the only thing I can say about my experience is to never fully trust anyone. If you suspect anything, there is a good chance it is happening. I was cheated on for too long because I didn't want to believe it was happening. In the end, she still tried to blame it on me because women refuse to accept responsibility for what they do.
Brett - I've had it happen too many years ago and what I learned: Trusting people interact more with others and have a better 'sense' to see a con or a cheat - although love can still be blind you still know in your gut when something's wrong My advice: Keep looking until you find that 1 girl where there's no 'air' between you - a girl who looks up to you for who you are and you'll never have the cheating problem Eventually you'll learn to trust again and it'll lift a huge weight off your shoulders
***** When a man cheats he's a scumbag, when a woman does 'he drove her to it' - so much for 'equal' responsibility and accountability.....(I'm referring to the mainsteam media conditioning of society's views)
Does extreme and negative feminism play a role in a woman's choice to cheat or not to? I reckon somehow it does, and in the process it makes women bitter and more prone to be cheated and mistreated. I don't loose hope...as Bob Marley once said: “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
That's what I say there's no honor among thieves so the girlfriend is scared that if you tell the friend boyfriend then her friend will get mad and tell him that his girlfriend has cheated also lol
His girl has or is cheating on him and that's why she got so emotional and if she says anything her secret is over too, her friend will take her down with her, guaranteed.
I remember when I was 18, me and a bunch of friends went to Spain for a holiday. It was just the lads, no girls. My girlfriend at the time told me she'd know if I cheated on her and she'd dump me, which I had no intention of doing anyway. A month later her and her friends went to Spain and I quickly found out she'd been sleeping with 6 other blokes while in Spain. When I confronted her about it, she said that I'd probably done the same as her but managed to avoid getting caught. Needless to say I dumped her. Since then she's been married twice and gotten a good divorce settlement each time.
Vincent McGrath did you find love yourself ? i mean, you dodged a bullet as the guy said uphere, but since you've gone through all this shit, did you learned something in picking up partners ? ( sorry my english is shitty sometimes, i just came back from work its 8am and i'm blocked on burr vid's lol )
After listening to a lot of these podcasts on you tube, Bill is sounding more like a couples therapist with a comedic tone. He Makes a lot of sense. Love it.
Bill's point about women and their strategic use of crying is a really good one. It took me months to figure out that when my ex started bawling, it was usually because I'd called her out on something.
Bill is wrong, he should tell the guy about his girl cheating. If it was the other way around, she will tell the girl. This is the problem with men. We don't have each others back on this type of situations.
greelanter You are correct... Allow me to elaborate the good but ugly truth about that... So 5-6 years ago I was with this nice i'm a "loyal g/f type" we were 4 months in and we had met through some friends An things seemed to be going along pretty well. Maybe I/we Jumped the gun a little bit as far as the sex went as it kind of cemented the role of SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP (with a side of potential) during and after the dating process. Needless to say I thought we had a good thing an were both comfortable and made our intentions clear as far as everything went. Also for whatever its worth the moving in together felt as it was right around the corner as we both made our intentions and feelings for each-other quite clear (or so I thought).Whatever the case feelings were def-involved. So it was a Thursday and was scheduled to work 10-4. We as a couple had nothing planned till Friday night and I was working during the day at my job and a co-worker asked if I'd cover his shift for the night (which ment i'd be there till 10) and he'd take my Saturday morning. So I said sure thinking to myself I can go out Friday night with the girl and wouldn't have to worry about going into work Saturday morning in case we had too much fun overnight. Anywho, I relayed the info to the g/f "kate" that i'd be working a double etc. and all was well. So come 6 o'clock I get a text basically asking if it was cool that she went out with one of her girl- friends she worked with. I said no problem... Anyhow she went out had dinner I came home from work an got a text saying "how was work i miss you blah blah blah... I said fine do you you want me to come get you? (Knowing she was drinking) she said no im good be home in a lil bit. So i end up passing out in front of the tv around midnight -ish thinking she'd be home soon so set my alarm and turned the ringer off . The next thing I know I wake up to getting this amazing 10/10 "out of the park" blowjob which quickly escalates into sex I glance at the clock its going on 3am and i realize she has a nice buzz on but i'm not saying shit cause i don't wanna ruin the moment!. Anyhow fade to black we fall asleep. Anyhow wake up to the alarm realizing i need to get my ass to work so I kiss goodbye and say ill call you on break. lol so I get to my phone on break only to find out while I was asleep she was drunk texting me before she got home saying how much she wishes i was there,i miss you etc etc etc. I dunno why but this is the first time I sense something "AWKWARD". Now I also have a few missed calls and a voice mail from the previous night saying to call back asap from one of my long time friends who turns out was also out at the same place My g/f was lol. My hand starts to shake just a little... So I give him a call and he answers right away saying "dude I was calling to see if you an "Kate?" were still together? now "Kate" had only met my good married (now divorced) friend once or twice in passing and luckilly did not recognize him for my sake!.An YES as you would suspect he painted a real fucking portrait of todays INDEPENDENT/HONEST/LOYAL picture of the girl! I was thought so highly of. Anyhow tuns out after after her girl- friend had left she was on the phone for alooong time on and off (in between the drunken texts I was getting about missing me). He went on to tell me some dude showed up sat next to her an at first said it didn't seem like anything was weird anyhow soon after "THIS HOTSHOT" started buying shots for the entire BAR. Next thing ya know He tells me there was a little make out session afterwords an they left for and hour an this is/ was when he called me the first time leaving the message. The second missed call was when he got up to leave an walked past the car of which they both were in! which turned out to be Mr. HOT SHOT (aka her ex). So he sits in the car and tries calling me again 3 minutes later after he witnesssed them both get out the car and back into the bar an he drove off... Now, naturally a million things are going through my mind as this 2 face POS skank is at my house and i'm kinda of in a state of disbelief. I kept asking are you sure it was her?! to which I was like WTF!. He's like i'm sorry man! I tried calling you!... So I was livid I sent her a message saying "We have to talk" an shut off my phone finished my work day and drove back home. I pull in an say so who were you with last night an boom WTF are you talking about starts getting into a storm about why my phone was off at work and" how fucked up it was to leave a message like that and turn off your phone". So I notice shes gripping her phone and i'm like ok since your not gonna answer my question let me see your phone.... Booom All message and calls ERASSSED lol . So I explained to her how she was busted an my friend was there and how MR. HOTSHOT bought a round of shots for him and saw her making out and whatever the fuck they were doing in the car..... then came the tears "I CANT BELIEVE YOU SPIED ON ME! your a fucking creeep blah fucking blah". lol I threw some mean spirited verbal assaults at her which summed up how I felt and she stormed out... To which I was like I just need to know do I need to get checked and she said I dunno something about spying... blah blah blah. Over done end of story...She left and It bummed me out not gonna lie, but whatever So yes a friend to came to my aid! and thankgod it went down like it did because I was had my hopes up but for that level of cool to this day I would take a bullet for him! (speaking of aids I got myself checked the following monday dodged a bullet from the sloppy seconds I walked into on that thursday night) ... MGTOW and proud...
It’s amazing how many scumbag cheaters are out there. If you want to whore around, don’t drag some poor sap along for the ride because you can’t deal with sleeping alone at night. This goes for men and women who cheat. Fuck all of you.
No, Bill is right. If the shoe were truly on the other foot (if this guy's guy friend was cheating on his girl) he wouldn't tell her, so it's unfair of him to judge his gf for doing exactly what he'd do in that situation. You don't rat on your friends even if you hate what they're doing. You lecture them, you berate them, and eventually you stop being friends with them, but you don't rat on them.
Your not wrong but the difference in men and women is that women already see men as unfaithful dogs. And that is a very touchy and dangerous situation. Girl runs and tells her girlfriend her boyfriend is cheating she automatically believes her and sides with her friend. Guy goes and tells his buddy his girlfriends cheating and the guys is not going to want to see it, unless you have proof hes going to have his doubts. And theres a possibility of the friendship bieng damaged. Basically men are usually more logical in that situation and unless you have proof it's hard to decide to tell them. Women will believe the first thing they're told true or not most of the time when it comes to thier boyfriend. And I've seen alot of realshionshps ruined by false accusations and the womans insecurities not allowing her to trust in her partner.
My best friend once confided that she was cheating on her boyfriend. I didn't know him well, but told my friend "You have one week -- either you tell him or I will." She was pissed at the time, but did the right thing and told him. It didn't end well, but they both thanked me for demanding respect and honesty (regardless of gender) years later.
+Jen Hawkins P.S. Earlier, Bill noted Meryl Streep espouses reverse sexism -- I totally agree. So tired of celebrities claiming flawless insight re. social/political issues because they can cry on cue or have primped and pouted their way into a glossy magazine.
It's pretty clear that the guy's girlfriend is perfectly okay with cheating on him, even if she isn't currently doing so. It's time to dump that one and get a girlfriend who knows the difference between right and wrong.
Wtf should she do exactly? Oh your cheating on your boyfriend? Well I can’t be friends with you anymore! Yeah ok. So would you ditch your friend if they were cheating on their girl? Where’s the loyalty to the friend?
@@nikkid8519 If you partner saw your best friend cheating and told you about it you would say mind your business and be glad it's not them? I'll put it another way if YOU were getting cheated on and your partners friend saw or knew you wouldn't want them to say something to your partner or you? Should they stay quiet and let them keep hurting you until a catch a std or a incurable disease?? 😷
That reminds me of my ex girlfriend that used to say that I'm the love of her life and she would never cheat on me, ever...until she did. And I believed her, lesson learned.
+war1980 I agree with you for the most part, but what if the shoe was on the other foot? Would you cover for them out of some "bros before hoes" mentality, or would you tell their "now-not-so-significant other", that your friend has been cheating on them. I mean according to your comment, you would, but do you see how switching the roles make things more difficult? Also if you tell their significant other that they're being cheated on you will probably lose that friend. I think you should still tell them, and I hope you do too, because otherwise it becomes a "Men vs. Women" thing instead of a "Do the right thing"...thing.
AHorseWithNoName The scenario is that a friend of your romantic partner is cheating, not that your friend is cheating. But nothing changes because I'm not a hypocrite. " otherwise it becomes a "Men vs. Women" thing instead of a "Do the right thing"...thing." Cheating isn't a sex specific occurrence.
war1980 Yeah I understood the situation perfectly. I was just curious to hear your response if your friend was the one who cheated. You responded exactly how I hoped you would. I'd do the same. Also, I was just remarking on how it would be more of a dilemma for you to tell the partner if you're friend is the one who cheated. As opposed to your friend being cheated on by his partner.
Fuck that! My ex's friends was doing that same shit and I told the guy instantly without asking my ex. Then she tried telling my ex one day when I was with a female friend that I was cheating but my girl didn't believe her hahahahahahaha
Bill sounds like he'd be an awesome guy to hang out with. He's got women totally worked out - don't believe it when they cry "they can do it on cue like Meryl Streep and make you feel like a bully." - well said Sir.
Like the Tom Waits song goes: "There's a few things that I never could believe A woman when she weeps, a merchant when he swears A thief who says he'll pay, a lawyer when he cares A snake when he's sleeping, a drunkard when he prays I don't believe you go to Heaven when you're good Everything goes to Hell anyway"
This reminds me of a situation I was kind of in, except I was the guy who was being cheated with. My friend introduced me to this girl but told me she had a boyfriend, but she wanted to set us up. Initially I refused on the obvious account that she had a boyfriend, but my friend wanted us to talk anyway, so I started talking to her, just in a friendly way but she kept pursuing something else, and my friend kept pressuring me to make a move. I wouldn't because of her boyfriend but my friend kept on assuring me that if I made a move then something special would happen, and that the girl really wanted to break up with the guy because he was an asshole. Eventually I was convinced of this (Stupid of me) and I kissed her a few times, but she still didn't break up with him (Of course). So I broke things off, but she begged me to stay and so I still talked to her for a while, but then when she continued trying to pursue me while still being in a relationship with him, I ditched her from my life. Now my friend avoids me because the girl is her best friend and one of her bridesmaids and when I see them around at Walmart (Where I work), they completely avoid me and try not to be seen by me, as if I did something wrong. Funny thing is, if it were the other way around, and a guy was the one cheating, no one would ever do that shit to protect him, they would be like "Well you got yourself in this mess. You shouldn't have cheated you dumbass."
Regardless of hypocrisy,it takes a special kind of sick person to cover for his/her friend when that friend is cheating,one you should not be in a relationship with. The fact that this chick went on about valuing fidelity and hating cheaters is only the rotten icing on the shit cake.
The guy in question is in better shape than he thinks: He's in control of his relationship (big hints are the way he correctly dominates his girlfriend) and its quite possible his girlfriend is 'soft' and dislikes confrontation: I say this because I married one of those girls and its been pure fucking bliss (almost no fights) for nearly 15 years - she herself hates cheating but has a big heart and forgives those she loves
If she knows her friend is cheating that means the friend told her and probably has gotten her to cheat a little to from kissing some guy at a bar or fucking them. This way the cheater doesn't feel as guilty and the friend has to keep the secret at the risk of her own secret being revealed.
Yeah my friend did that shit ain't proud of it. That's why distance with friends is needed cause the thing with Freinds when there life sucks they take you down with em
Can't give you this one Bill. The guy needs to be told. He could be looking for someone to get married to and if she's not trustworthy he absolutely needs to know that. If the writer's girlfriend holds it against him it says a lot about what she REALLY thinks about women cheating and you should dump her ass too. As for women crying, it's emotional blackmail, unless a family member has died. Try this: You: "I'm going for a walk, I'll be back when you're ready to discus things like an adult." She will jump on you for this and she WILL be pissed. You: "Funny, I thought you were inconsolable a second ago." It will now get worse but you will have shown her you can spot a blackmail tear.
I knew this girl and we hooked up when we saw each other but then it would never go any further because she was flakey etc.so we were with a group of my friends and her friends hanging out and she asked what I was doing next weekend.i said seeing this other girl for a date.she stands up flips out and storms out.everybody in the room looks confused so I go out and see what's going on she says I don't know if I want you but I don't want anybody else having you....madness
You do not have to stop a 3rd party from cheating but it would be messed up to know your own gf is supportive of it. Your gf does not have to directly stop the cheating but when she talks to you she should express that she does not like the situation and that it is not okay instead of condoning it.
Here's what I would have done if I was that guy. I would have called my gf's friend and told her what I saw. I would give her a day or two to confess to this guy or I would go and do it myself. I would tell her that I would contact him when the times up. Then I would talk with my gf and see if I can't vett her for answers. In my experience, the girls who bring up the topic of loyalty first are usually the less loyal ones, and she sounds like she does that. It doesn't help that she cried right when he mentioned the roles being reversed (however, she could have just been crying because she was afraid her friend would blame her for not keeping the secret).
I love how it almost always comes down to ordering the NFL package and rubbing one out before making a decision. Sound advice from olllllld Billy Blue Balls
Bill is right on about the talking about it part. If you see your friend doing something wrong, it can be tough to do the right thing because of how much loyalty you have for them, so I partially understand the apprehension, but I still feel like she could’ve reacted in a way that showed she objected to her friends actions. She almost didn’t seem to care, from what I understand, because silence implies either she just didn’t care and said nothing, or she had an immediate inner conflict about what to do, either way, that’s very suspicious
A pickle is a cucumber (a vegetable) which has been fermented in vinegar and other such. It undergoes a certain type of bacterial process (kind of like rotting) to give it it's flavour.
That girlfriend of the writer made a scene because she cheated too & knows the cheating girlfriend will tell on her if confronted. Seen this same scenario myself.
Actually, he got mad at her because he discovered she's hypocritical on this fidelity issue to the point where she doesn't even want him to tell the guy.
tell the guy, you got nothing to loose. just doing the right thing, .ditch the women who says she hates cheating but its ok if her friend is doing it. soon its going to be ok if shes is doing it aswell or already has.
Even if he doesn't know the guy really well, he should still tell him his girl's cheating. Think about what's the right thing to do, not what's convenient.
Cucumbers are actually classifies as seed fruit. It should be obvious why, if you think about it. Technically, vegetables are leafy plants (e.g., lettuce and cabbage) and roots and tubers(e.g., potatoes, carrots and yams). Just saying.
Dump her. If she excuses the behavior it means she'll do it as well, whenever she feels like it. And for gods sake don't ever get married. You're just asking for trouble if you do.
I had an issue along the lines of that. 2 friends began dating. A year in my lady friend kept dumping my guy friend. After... Oh 30 times over the insecure "I'm not good enough for you" reason, he finally said to hell with it and found a fuck that night. But the next day (as per usual) my lady friend wanted to get back with him. Well it escalated to he eventually cheated on her. What sucks was i was smack in the middle of it. I (eventually) knew he cheated, but i didn't want to get involved, however not telling what i know also sides me with him. I didn't want to pick any side. So once everything blew up you would think it was over right? WRONG! they continued to try and "work it out" but every conversation on the phone ended with "FINE FUCK YOU!" between them. They became toxic to and for each other so i tried to get them to realize that. In total this was about 3 years. My lady friend wishes i was dead, and that sucks because i had known her since elementary as well as my guy friend. But life goes on i guess.
I loved how he wrapped it up. The conclusion is priceless. Does anyone know when his podcast airs? I live in Europe (Spain) so I may not be able to catch it on time. Thanks in advance.
Man, perhaps i'm too cynical--but I can't be with someone that is ok with cheating etc...I get Bill's rebuttal, but once that trust is violated, (and it now is), what's the point? Can you really build something from there? Should you?
And I always thought it was strange that men get mad at the man his woman cheats with. I mean I can understand not liking that guy, but doesn't the brunt of the blame fall on the woman? She's supposed to be able to make her own decisions right? She's the one who supposedly values the relationship. From my perspective, a girl saying she has a bf doesn't mean shit. If she conveys dissatisfaction in him or continued interest in you, I wouldn't think twice either. She's gonna fuck someone.
I like that it has become a pattern that Bill recommends the NFL package when telling guys they should break up--all while totally unaware if they even care about football at all.
Fruit have seeds Fruits are ovaries Cucumber is a fruit People call savory things "vegetables" when the word umami isnt known Tomatoes are fruits that for tax dodging reasons legally isn't a fruit This is good as dry dust
If you want a guarantee of a faithful partner best pick another planet filled with higher, less deceitful life forms. This planet you have to take your chances. It's romance roulette out there. Good luck. Place all your chips with caution.
If her moral compass is "flexible" to justify her friend, then you dump her. Or else you gotta get ready for "I cheated because you didn't pay attention to me" or that level of shit.
Late to the party but I agree with everyone in the comments. Girl is/was cheating on the guy. Girl and her friend have dirt on each other. If either get caught, and suspect each other of spilling the beans, they both go down. If the boat starts sinking, they both go down with the ship.
Step 1 - Break up with your already-cheating, accomplice girlfriend. Step 2 - See your now-ex-girlfriend get mad at her friend for being the impetus to the break-up. Step 3 - Bang a hot chick Step 4 - Watch their friendship fall apart. Step 5 - Relax, proud that you helped your fellow man as your ex will definitively rat out her former friend in a torrent of jealous emotions.
If that cheating woman was that much of a friend to his girlfriend then wouldn't she be the first person to know that she was once on the receiving end of the cheating game and how hurtful that experience was to her? Its amazing how she continues to want to be a friend to someone who is so callous not just to the feelings of her SO but also to the feelings of her supposed BFF. When brings up the question of how such people get SOs and BFFs in the first place!?
The guy writing the letter needs to break up with his girl. Huge red flag that she's made no attempt to tell her friend about the position she put her in
YEAHH, let's think.... She hate cheating and people who cheat, and then her best friend is one.... YEAHH, you're not very intelligent. It's not that difficult.