Bill Burr - Rejected By An Attractive Woman 

Got rejected by a girl the other day who I wasn't hitting on (I'm engaged). Got as far as "excuse me..." before getting "I don't want you to buy me a drink". My response was "don't flatter yourself, I wanted to ask if I could take that empty chair". Some chicks automatically assume you want them even when you don't.

Bill gives advice 100x better than most so called relationship “experts”

"........you know what - fukk it. Nevermind". 😂👏

I laughed my ass off when he said: "your loyal fan, bobo the douchebag"

A buddy of mine knew he was getting rejected so he said "why are you being so picky, I'm not being picky"

Gents, if she works hospitality, customer service, public relations, or any human relations and she is on the clock then you gotta understand that she is being PAID to be nice to you. Youre flirting with her when she can't go anywhere else. If she's being paid, or working, leave her alone.

Bill Burr sees shit from both sides of the fence and picks the side that's funnier despite his ego & regardless of how he feels which is what makes him a true comedic genius.

The guy described has zero game, lol. "Excuse me, madame, but I've been frequenting thou establishment for many a fortnight, may I have access to your vulva?" NO!

A knight in shining armour has never been to battle. Most guys have scratched, dirty, dented armour that found success after many battles.

“Hey woman. I noticed that you make sandwiches for money. How about making sandwiches for the pleasure of my company?”

I’ve always avoided hitting on servers. Their job is to be nice to you. Never confuse friendly service with flirtation. However there are exceptions if you can read the signs... I met this host at a hotel lounge. I would go there once or twice a week after work for a drink and be greeted by this stunner. However, I never acknowledged her good looks. She would smile, seat me, and hand me a drink menu. Over the months, we would regularly have small talk. If I didn’t show up for a few weeks, she would joke that she missed me. I refused to delude myself into thinking that she was hitting on me. One night we struck up a long conversation and she joked about how many men would hit on her every single night but that I never did. And there you go. She was comfortable enough with me and GAVE me an opening. It only took about seven months but she was worth it!

You guys need to learn how to soften up the target before making your move. It starts with small-talk, which over time you transition to light flirting. Then comes getting her to confide something that she would normally consider private. At that point, if she’s interested, she will actually invite you to make your move with her body language and attitude. Women communicate covertly. After you lay the groundwork, she will consider you to be a socially calibrated man who knows what he’s doing. Attraction is not a choice. Wise is the man who cultivates a growing attraction in a woman without her even realizing it. Asking directly, out of the blue, makes her feel awkward and embarrassed, as it carries the implication that her daily friendliness is sexual in intent.

I actually have a line that I came up with for people in the service industry that has a 75% success rate amongst the people I know that have used it. And they are not especially attractive or successful. "Hey [name on nametag], I think it's really tacky to hit on a girl at work. Can I get your number so I can hit on you later?" The worst reaction I've seen to that was, "That was funny but no. Sorry." Which isn't a bad reaction to a cheesy pickup line.

"hey, you're pretty hot and you make a great sandwich. literally my only 2 criteria. Hi , Im Bobo" 🤣

I was drinking with some friends one night and this gorgeous woman walked past our table with some friends and landed at the bar. I walked up to her said, my friends think you are so out of my league that you won't even acknowledge me, and nodded at my table. She looked across, saw them all watching and suggested we have a drink to shut them up. We were together for two years. I am probably a 4, she was easily an 8-9, but that line got me in there. Gorgeous women get hit on all the time, you need a line that hooks them and gives them power, "I have been basically stalking you for a year" doesn't really fit that criteria, sorry mate but you need to work on your game.

bro i legit understand her reaction sooo much . she was probably like “damnn fuckk im just tryna work damn fuck off leave me alone” in her head 😂

I haven't had to think about a stronger/bigger person wanting to enter me since I was an alter boy

Actually I think the guy made the right move. "Eh fuck it," is a totally valid response. He didn't choke. Now the strategy is to go back in and keep ordering sandwiches like nothing happened, but don't give her any special treatment. She'll notice him now.

Coming from a woman, when rejected act like you don't care and keep a smile, appear really happy and just be nice. The IDC attitude will make her wonder at some point in that day, even for a second. If you're rude or mean then you're only proving her right by not wanting you

*Says random stuff for 8 minutes and 52 seconds* "Did I answer your question?"

No one bats .400 Strikeouts are inevitable...

I’ve been married 15 years to a woman who told me there was absolutely noooo chance we could have a romantic relationship. She felt I was too old 33 vs 23. Bill is right about not giving up. Now you can’t act like wuss. I didn’t chase her or let myself be used. I kept going out on dates with other women while we became friends. A woman will eventually see your confidence in yourself and be attracted to you. Women want what other women want, it’s weird!!

Be comfortable with failure and learn from the experiences. This is the hardest thing to do.

Ultimately there’s no fool proof plan when it comes to asking someone out. What works for one person may not work for another. You have to feel them out and figure out what works for both parties involved.

Just take your lumps and move on like the rest of us. Pat yourself on the back for trying and live without regrets and carry that momentum to the next 100 hot chicks and play the odds.

Hitting on girls WORKING in shops and parlors is like hitting on bartenders and waitresses. Can you imagine how many dudes are hitting on them DAILY? They've heard it ALL. It gets annoying. Their shields are way up. This shit might work in movies. You need to make her to drop her shields first. If you can't come up with something TRULY original, don't even try to do it while she's working. Now if you manage to catch her out of work, you might have a better chance. She's not in RED ALERT state.

Should of said: “What’s with that look, I was only gonna ask for another sandwich” LMAO

"You have the quit DNA in your ball bag and she's not gonna want to mate with you"

Trying to see the situation from the laaydeee's perspective here. She works shifts at a sandwich shop. Having experience in a customer facing job, those jobs are the type where you put on a mask, act pleasant all the time and keep your mind as emptied as possible. I think the stink eye may have come from the discomfort of being pulled back to reality while she tried to zone out as much as possible from her shitty part time job. The other thing is, who wants to meet his/her future other to see him/her working in a retail or catering position. I mean a job is a job and never something to be ashamed of, but men and women try to present themselves as dignified as possible towards towards potential partners. You catch her at her worst, she's not gonna pursue romance from that position. Source: I maxed out charm in Mass Effect.

The classic response comes from our old friend Jerry Seinfeld. Girl says oh I can't go out with you again because I saw your show and your comedy routine is all fluff. And I have to date somebody who is serious about their work. Jerry's response is "but you fold sweaters for a living!"

I would continue eating there & totally change my personality everytime I came in. Lol

"The cheetah doesn't always catch the gazelle sometimes it gets kicked in the face"

The dude should have continued "...I'm an agent for Vogue and we're looking for new faces. Can you think of anybody?"

It is socially unacceptable to do that at someone's work because it is awkward and they are there every day can't really leave in that situation

You can't blame the guy for trying. If she rolled her eyes, that should tell him it is a no go. He should brush it off and move on.

what i hate most is when you´re "rejected" by someone you have ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST IN. they just assume you have interest, then go into their rejection mode.

Bill burr what a legend

Bill Burr is just a comical genius! His insights are too good 🤣🤣🤣

"I can only equate, that i hit the wrong button on my computer." XD love ur stuff ya Bill. You walk a fine line, and you walk it well. keep doin stuff.

Always start off by saying...hey i really wanna ooma zoom zoom in ya boom boom

This guy is just brilliant, never lets you down and keeps getting better. Vote Burr!

“You have the Quit DNA 🧬 in your ball bag.” Omg hilarious.

“Haven’t you had enough !!” 😂🤣😭😂🤣👌🏻 belly aching humor

This had me laughing from start to finish! Love it 🤣

the way he asks "Did I answer your question" after the cake "metaphor."

Always love the cake up your ass analogy😂😂😂

"Fuck it never mind"; nearly pissed myself laughing. Genius.

Bill “let’s plow ahead” Burr

That cake analogy changed my life.

Re-post but a good one. You handled it right the first time.

God his laugh, gets me every single time

He should have sid the: "Queen Ant has wings, yet is somehow still considered an Ant."

Waitresses and service people in general aren't there to meet potential dates..... It Probably gets old being hit on by overweight, middle-aged douche bags all day.

4:55 lmaaaaaaaoo

Bill’s advice was bang on. Getting rejected many times toughens you up. That “stink eye” she gave you was a “shit test” RU-vid that expression.

“Good looking _LADY_ “ lmao Bills simple mannerisms are even funny.

Funny and real..lol

his approach was all wrong; guaranteed to fail 99/100.

This is the best one I've had so far

"you go the quit dna in your ball bag"!! omg i'm dying.

Hopefully he didn’t waste two years of his life waiting for that moment, staring at her weird every time he orders a sandwich. Love to hear her side of this one 🤣

Gotta respect a man who knows when to cut his losses--at least he saw right away the unfolding disaster. x'D

One of the best "An houa' with Billeh" stories:D

If you aren't being turned down then you aren't trying to pick up women. They can all say no 1-10 and they can all say yes 1-10. Just play the odds until you get the hang of the game. You'll get bored and tired of it in not too long. It's monotonous like everything else. It's more worth your time to devote more effort to work or a hobby. Saving 30k in two years is life changing. Getting down the rudiments of an artform be it painting or playing guitar is brag worthy. Having 20 (?) chicks in your past makes going to a bar with your girlfriend feel like you're waking through a minefield, and it's not brag worthy to your friends. Normally it just puts you at odds with them.

"The bright side that it was not filmed." :D :D :D :D

Did no one else mention him switching Marshall Faulk for Marshawn Lynch?

"a forearm shiver" 😂 Ohhh man, this guy's got a way with words.

“Haven’t you had enough?” 😭💀

7:10 The best part by far 😂

I've learned a valuable lesson: don't ask a girl out because your ugliness will make her uncomfortable

Cheetah cares about being filmed....😂I love this guy

Bill is stating you should use the "Tuna no crust" tactic here hahahaha

When she shoots you the look "Haha oh my bad I guess women who make me sandwiches make me get bad ideas"

😆😆😆 " It's not a skill. It's gluttonous." So, true. 😳 (truth bomb 💣)

Best podcast of all time!

Yes

It's kind of like that scene in the matrix. Nobody makes their first jump.

This guy's plan was all wrong. The best way to get a girl to go out with you is to park your car a fair distance from her place of work, wait until she gets off work, follow her home and then Google search her address. Use the internet to find her name. If the address doesn't yield any results steal some mail from her house and search the names on it. Find her social media accounts, work and educational history, etc. Find out what she likes, maybe she plays sports or posts art on Instagram, it doesn't matter, just get an idea of what she is into. Once you've gotten an idea of who she is, wait outside her house like you did at her place of work. Follow her until she goes someplace that isn't work, like the supermarket or the gym. Casually walk by and glance at her. Keep glancing until she glances back. Do not stare. Try to make quick eye contact, then approach. First say "I'm sorry but you look really familiar to me, do I know you from somewhere?" If she is not receptive you will have to carry the conversation. If you need to say "Hey yeah, you work at the sandwich shop." Make some quick small talk. Then introduce yourself and ask to buy her dinner. Tell her you can get reservations at Dorsia or whatever the fanciest restaurant in the city may be. If she says no, don't give up. Keep asking. In my experience most women hesitate to say yes the first time you ask, be persistent. Women love persistence. If she still says no, apologize for bothering her, that will make her feel like a bitch, while also feeling sympathy for you because you got rejected. Act like you're about to walk away, then turn back and hand her your business card. Women love business cards. Say "If anything changes, give me a call." Then walk away. Expect a call within a few days.

That thing about the cheetah realizing it's been filmed in failure. I lost it.

The birthday cake part lol my buddy and I at the buffet they have the meat carvers that stand there and cut a slice for the customers. My buddy offers $20 if I walk up there when the carver steps away for a minute and slide the entire turkey on my plate and go back to my table. The whole staff was came out on an obvious scavenger hunt until they found me with the whole turkey on my plate. 4 of them surround our table and one guy starts grilling me. I played it cool like I didn't understand the problem but also nodding in agreement with what he was saying and then asked if they had any honey mustard. The manager comes up and tells us to both leave so we left and went back to the casino. About 10 minutes later while on the casino floor 2 security guards find us playing slots and tell us we have to leave. They escort us out and tell us not to come back.

I can see why he was so in awe of her... She's an Artist. 🌯🥪🌯 A Sandwich Artist. 😁 But seriously, I'm pretty much on her side with this one. He had a YEAR (!) to work on building some rapport in a casual, enjoyable and non-creepy way. And gauge what kind of reaction he might get if he took it up a notch. Instead of going in with an awkward introduction. Also, from personal experience, even as a man, working a job where you deal with large numbers of the random public every day... can really shorten your fuse! 💣 💥 Of course, sometimes you only have one opportunity, and then I try to be as casual as possible. But still there's every chance you get a 'no', so it can help to have a bit of a comeback ready to go, so you almost look fwd to the opportunity to use it! Kinda changes your perspective. My personal favourite (notice my photo first): "It's cos I'm black, isn't it?!" Delivered almost but not quite fully deadpan. Obviously, you need to have a certain kinda vibe to pull this off, and give less than a fuck about PC. So pick something that suits you. 🤔 But don't expect to nail it the first time. 😖

hahaha@ the quit DNA in your ball bag!

Omg I love how he explains our point of view to him! 😂 hahaha 👌

4:05 oh my God idk what I was expecting but Bill just hit me in my soul. Good shit though, needed that

I treat it as a job interview: the more you say, the higher the chance you'll get rejected.

"(beautiful women getting attention) is like watching a fat guy eating an ice cream...haven't you had enough already?" Savage, and true as fuck.

That cake example was hilarious af

Best response in the moment is, "Phwew, that was close."

Patrice had the Black Phillip show about this subject

I have NEVER been asked out and im 40. I have had my fair share of gfs but I have never known any woman to ask a guy out first, even among all my guy friends. Ive been rejected like this before. It gets harder to meet women as time goes on. For me at least. I always see someone pretty like this caller does, but who wants to ask someone out at Subway or Starbucks? Its awkward.

every once in a while he sounds like carl from aqua teen hunger force lol

Glad I'm old enough to remember the Marshall Faulk reference. That was the dynasty but it was short lived.

Nice to know even a guy witty and talented like Bill admits that he totally would have fucked up the situation too.

But who aproach a woman saying “i had been coming here for a few years and i want to present my self” wtf? Are you applying for a job interview? Lol

4:50 damn I feel singled out Hahahaha

"You showed you had the quite DNA in your ball bag " 😂😂😂

Imagine having someone who can physically beat the crap out of you trying to enter your body.... "Guys. Imagine being hit on in prison!" Inmate approaches you "excuse me sir, but I just want to say... I find you very very attractive, and just had to introduce myself.."

Reminds me of a meme I saw years ago: "Confucius say, Key that opens many locks is Master Key... Lock that is opened by many keys is shitty lock."

I gotta agree with his last point there lol

You say, "sorry watching you make sandwiches misled me" then laugh and it's all good