a new video about anger would be great! i would love to hear more about how to implement adaptive strategies to cope with anger, specifically during the 2nd tier of the Coping Sequence. in my experience, it's difficult to know what can help decrease cortisol and adrenaline in those moments that stuff hits the fan. I'd like to learn more about how to carry those adaptive strategies out. thank you for your tools as always, Dr. Fox!
FYI: recently Thanksgiving day event at family home. Mom simular mh as me. I end up not allowing my mother to use her pitty her crying and everything else.. I started making thing just as bad as her by trying to controlling things and telling her to knock it off. My symptoms explode I leave 2nd brother yelled at me to get back in home.. later 1st brother leaves.. it's hard.. dad's in mid 80s he has to deal with everyone. And we all see what moms doing to saying to him mean which makes me can not watch and make things go worse..
I'm so sorry to hear about the difficult situation you experienced at your family Thanksgiving. It can be tough when emotions run high and everyone's mental health is involved. Remember to take care of yourself and seek support if needed.
My teens and 20s, just awful. Like I was another person.....just a monster. In my 30s though, I started to really work on myself. Needed to work on retraining my brain. Needed to learn another way of thinking and learn to relax. 41 now, and still have hard days, but I'm a lot better. I find healthy eating, exercise, no drugs or drinking, and my medication help a lot. Also, it helps to have a friend or family member to talk to. Someone that won't enable your BS
I’m 34 soon to be 35 and my teens & 20s were a shitshow. However I quit drinking. Still struggle but I think anyone who has the bpd needs to dedicate themselves to sobriety and get right meds. Also staying away from toxic people and toxic entertainment.
@@mariecait Congratulations on quitting drinking! That was such an issue for me. Last month I hit my 12 years sober mark. You got this too. Wishing you all the best ❤️
@@Huey_Freeman357 So happy that helps you. Never a fan. Would make me feel sick. Used to self medicate with hard drugs. Been clean since April 2004. Wishing you the best 🤗
Just discovered this channel and I'm so excited! I'm in my last 2 years of school to become a therapist and my goal is to work with folks with BPD specifically, especially because so many mental health professionals shy away from it. To anyone out there struggling rn with their BPD, if no one else has told you today, you are incredibly strong and resourceful and I'm glad you're still here
Yes please on the vid about anger! Thank you for doing this video today btw :) Anger as a secondary emotion is a concept that I've come to understood through therapy. But the intensity of it and how fast it goes from "I'm angry" to "I can't calm down" and "WHAM acting out" is still a constant struggle despite using the distress tolerance skills. Advice on tackling that uncontrollable anger would be really welcomed!
Hey everyone don't worry!....your not alone....I am with yah!....NUTTERS UNITED!..ps we aint as nuts as the UK right now.....believe me cause I am living it 🙃No surrender Warriors!
I don’t have access to therapy right now, so I run to your videos to reinforce my inner work as I am navigating my BPD symptoms. Honestly your videos have helped me more than any therapy I’ve done anyway. I appreciate you so much!!!
Thank you for all your helpful videos! Our teen daughter has bpd and has had it for years. I wish they would diagnose this starting at age 10, and teach DBT in elementary schools. It would be so helpful for all kids! not just ones struggling with emotional disregulation. I send her links to your videos often :) Big hug to all out there who are struggling.
is there a way to stop obsessing over someone you hate?, i feel like i not only strongly obsess about my favorite person (someone i love a lot and have put on a pedestal) but also can't stop thinking negatively about people that i feel have done something bad to me or a loved one (it feels as if this person is the root of all evil and if they disappear i would be happy forever), i know is the black and white thinking but i don't know how to stop wanting revenge or justice, in the past when i feel like this i cut off the person completely and act as if they never existed but this time the hated person is important to my fp and i have to see them at least once a week, i was told to forgive and move on but i can't stop the flight or fight feelings and the anger, so i'm looking forward to the anger video Dr. Fox thank you for everything ❤
I’ve came to realize that difficulty mainly stems from a lifetime of gaslighting, invalidating, shaming, doubting, and scapegoating. Things like detachment, dissociation, and Alexithymia contribute but coming to terms with how much personality is impacted from environment and narrative… it all makes sense. Doesn’t matter how much I get to know myself and try to explain it, certain people don’t understand. Learning this how tremendously eliminated so much self doubt
Dr. Fox, I appreciate your detailed and vivid definitions of those emotions and symptoms, accompanied by examples. It's incredibly helpful for ESL individuals like me; I feel I've never learned those words so thoroughly until now. Thanks to your videos, I now feel much more in tune with my emotions. I've also become better at avoiding malaadaptive patterns by replacing "family in the head" with "Dr. Fox in the head" when it happens.
Doctor Fox, do all BPD lie? There’s a sense of justice, ethics, and truth than me. It is unshakable. Diagnosed with BPD. I am a man of action and will engage Any form of bullying. If anyone accuses my staff of wrongdoing when I know my staff Operated as they should, I will rip the accuser apart, even if publicly. My conclusion is this heighten sense of righteousness is all ego-based. The motivation behind it all because I view myself as above it all. It could just be a gift I did not earn or deserve. It does and has Placed me in danger In terms of physical or livelyhood damage. I have recently learned to lie on purpose. It’s actually quite liberating, especially if a narcissist to manipulate them. It is utterly godlike to be dishonest to someone to know something that they don’t know you have that power of knowledge to have advantage over them. The first time I tried it this year Was like being power drunk.
Hi Dr. Fox, I've been watching your videos for a couple of weeks now, and I was checking out your website and worksheets and I wanted to know if the services you offer include virtual sessions due to the fact that I live in Colombia at the moment.
Holy moly this video spot on. I went off on the interactive phone system today for some reason those things really angry me and I just lose control of my language and mind It makes no sense that I would do that to IVR. Yet my reaction is consistent The outrage is off the charts
Hi Doctor Fox. I am 43 and have discovered I have quiet BPD. This showed up for me a few years ago after a really disturbing relationship that I couldn’t understand what was going on. I internalise everything so I don’t act out ever. My friends would say I am normal but hold on to pain for far too long and have low self esteem. Also I am going through peri menopause and this has made symptoms even worse. I have looked everywhere for help regarding this and even my gp isn’t very understanding- because I have never asked for help before as I had managed my symptoms alone for so many years. I just hide t away until i feel better. And the it’s another cycle. The good cycle if in non romantic relationships can last for years… I have been doing s lot of self development too.. which hasn’t been easy… But I do ask… can you possibly do a video for those who are menopausal/pre menopausal? This seems to be barely spoken about. And for those with mental health issues symptoms can really worsen. Like myself. The anxiety is more than ever… and for the first time suicidal thoughts are present. This can be a hard time for anyone with hormone changes but it’s rarely spoken about. I feel very lost and alone.. I will avoid my trigggers for a while until the worse is over for sure. Your videos are a tremendous help and I thank you for being there for so many. Thank you xxx
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and reaching out. I'm glad my videos have been helpful to you. I'll definitely consider making a video about menopausal/pre-menopausal mental health. It's an important topic that needs more attention. Stay strong, and remember that you're not alone in this journey.
You're so very kind! I do not detect an iota of negative judgement or ridicule in the way your speak, which makes me feel very safe. I'm currently binge watching all your videos. I am suspecting I have got cPTSD. I just wish you were practicing here in the UK! By the way, you say in your other videos that you've got another channel, but I can not find its link anywhere. I wonder if could you share the link with us.
This is significant insight. Thank you, Dr. Fox! I must keep track of my BPD symptoms, as well as my mixed Bipolar. Having a worksheet included is immensely helpful!
This might not be seen, but could you possibly do a video about BPD vs adoption/adoptee trauma by chance? Do people who are adopted grow up to have BPD?
Oh wow… just saw you on utube…. I thought I was the only person with rage…. I can remember about ten years ago I was so upset… I know it went into rage. Can think of about 4/5 other times. I’m a 58 yr old female. I’m very loving, maybe was too much with my daughter…cuddled her. When she was a baby she never had to cry. I’d jump…. Hungry…. Here you go…. Awake…. Here I am. One day my mom baby sat… she was like two months old. She cried and cried. My mother was so worried. I came back… she was fine. Told doctor and he said “ what do you mean she never cries…. She needs to cry. Let her cry. “ I thought I was taking good care of her. So it’s confusing to go from kind and loving to suddenly feel so angry….. I’m going to find out all I can from you. I came from abusive alcoholic , neglect. Sometimes things were ok. But didn’t stay that way for long. You seem to know so much.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. It's important to remember that anger is a complex emotion and can stem from various experiences and situations. I'm here to provide support and share my knowledge with you. Feel free to ask any questions you may have!
Thanks to you I have identified my cptsd in my diagnosed BPD, anxiety and depression. I'm going through 3 of your books too. In your cbpd book, I would have appreciated even more if you gave bipolar ii and cyclothymia examples too. I am afraid because I have a history of two undiagnosed long term depressive episodes related to BPD traits.
I'm so glad to hear that my content has been helpful for you in identifying your cptsd and navigating your diagnosed BPD, anxiety, and depression. It's amazing how understanding ourselves better can make such a difference. Keep going strong!
As someone whose struggling to accept myself my previous psych wanted to start DBT therapy. I want to understand emotional regulation and impulse control I appreciate this video.
YES about anger! I'm a stuffer and it appears as though it's a little thing that makes me angry. It's like a back that's going to go out and then something little is the culprit. That's how I describe it anyway.
LOOKS like it's the little thing that makes the back go out* when that's not the case. I'm not trying to justify it.... It's simply an analogy for what it's like.
