Breaking Free: Signs It’s Time To End The Narcissistic Relationship 

23 days left til my planned escape. Ending 29 years of narcissistic abuse, and I’m terrified. I have a plan, going no contact completely. There is no need to ever see or speak to him again. I’ve kept this a secret from him, and he will explode…I cry everyday, I just have to execute, pray for me.

I escaped this 9 months ago…I’m not well at all but I’m glad that day I found the courage to leave. I wish everyone to find the strength to leave.

"Never regret being a good person, even to the wrong people. Your behaviour says everything about you and their behaviour says enough about them." -- Anon

I almost never comment below any videos but now I think maybe my story could help someone who needs to hear this. He discarded me yesterday after like 10th time. It's so brutal that my whole body and soul just doesn't know how to cope w it without getting insane. Honestly with my naivity I took him back with hope he will be loving towards me this time. But truth is that each time he came back the discard got more and more brutal. I never thought in my life this trauma will be so hard fo escape. I see myself as kind, loving and smart woman however in this situation I feel like the weakest human being on the planet. Please if you are going through anything like this please know you are not alone and that you are lovable and you deserve someone to love you and treat you w pure intensions. I now have to go to recover with hope that I can heal from this. I need to learn how to protect myself and set boundaries and never allow this to happen again. Stay safe people xxx

The key is to do all of what he says from day one. Narcissistic folks will discard you way sooner if you hold your boundaries from the start. Even if you really do want to meet up with someone every weekend, be unavailable at least once, put a boundary in place, watch the response. Will literally save you years of abuse

It's harder when these people are ur family,father, mother,siblings. U choose ur partners, but u don't choose ur family.

Very cruel I recently was looking at and deleting things out of my phone from the last 8 years . I cannot believe how cunning the pain was that this person was inflicting and that I allowed it .

I moved out 1 month ago. Our 21 y/o son still lives with her. He’s the most important thing in my life and she knows it. This scares me to no end.

Thank you for addressing the weirdness. It's the hardest part to describe when trying to explain why I left him. His behavior was unconsciously delusional. He was so certain about things that never happened - or not in the way he was claiming. Then there was his shifting persona. His voice and demeanor would change markedly - out of nowhere. It's like he was trying on different personalities, trying desperately to become someone he could like and admire. It was scary and unsettling. This wasn't like doing a bit from a comedian or movie character, or picking up mannerisms from a new friend. We all do that. This was something that was coming from inside himself and it left me feeling that I had no idea who the real him even was.

I'm economically trapped, but I'm considering being homeless, honestly

Your way of describing how the narc relates to you as an avatar inside his bubble is perfect. If a victim really gets this, detaching from a narc is as easy as turning off a video game, it never existed in the first place! It was all virtual reality! Yes, it's difficult for victims to get to this understanding, but once they do, it's totally game over! Thank you! 👏👏

they DO get confused. My mother called ME "mother" in a fit of rage! it was when i realized that she is quite literally insane. That made it easier to cut ties and walk away, i know i cant fix that.

Leaving a covert / vulnerable narcissist is also very hard because it got in so deep it takes a long time to heal.

You cannot comply your way out of tyranny. The narc has a fully stocked rolling toolbox of tyranny skills. I went through the reasoning stage. Im in the quietly packing stage now thank you Richard

Thank you ❤ After 70 year I realised that the door is open! I leave now! Freedom ❤

Hi Richard And Thank you So Very Much For Sharing This. I'm A Victim Of Narcissitic Abuse I Went Through Horrific Emotional And Psychological Abuse Almost Causing My Suicide THIS Person Has Destroyed My Self Confidence Self Worth And Self Esteem. I Was Beaten Down With Months And Years Of The Silent Treatment Being Used Treated Like I Don't Exist. I'm Not There Yet But I'm Finally Getting Help Through A Life Coach. NARCISSISTIC ABUSE IS BRUTAL..

My brother, sister, father, husband but my daughter is the most heart wrenching. She’s absolutely psychopathic. Elderly and ill she has abused me in all the ways you Mentioned. Sadistic, evil, cruel, that smirk. I had nothing and she took whatever pittance I had and tried to leave me on the streets or a homeless shelter while she lives in a mini mansion and is extremely wealthy. A pathological liar, Jekyll and Hyde, isolated me. Much much more. And took the greatest pleasure in doing it over and over again. What she does to her 4 very young children is criminal. She’s crazy. And her flying monkey husband is afraid of her and allows it. I did all I could to help her for 43 years. Then desperately tried to help my grandchildren. One is self harming at 8 years and worse. All are having severe mental issues. I couldn’t help at all. She turned the 9 & 11 year olds against me. This is only a tiny fraction of what I have been through. A nightmare I can’t wake up from. It’s too late for me now but if you can…,, GET OUT. It really doesn’t matter if it’s your significant other a sibling a parent or even your own child. They WILL destroy you and as mentioned unalive you if possible. I never could imagine I’d feel this way about my own child whom I cherished. Thank you so much for educating everyone about this pure evil. 😢

The most bizarre thing when they accuse you for things that never happened and I think they really believe it

This is so helpful for people involved in a trauma bond with dangerous people. I was involved with a sociopath who exhibited all these traits and then some others as well. The constant criticism and yelling was over the top, yet always scheming. I recognized he was a narcissist but I didn’t even know what a sociopath was. I witnessed him punching his dog in the face and multiple other times of abusing his poor dog!! After I learned what he was and got the courage to walk away a few weeks later (we had started a business together) I found out he had an extensive criminal record of jail and prison in multiple states and lied about going to university and graduating. He also lied about his age. When we met he told me he was 11 years older than me but it turned out he was 23 years older. I just thought he seemed old for his age 😅 So glad I’m free!! ❤ Thank you Lord Jesus!!

Perfectly explained, ive been in this trap for years , its hard to escape! How do you created boundaries, when they have hacked into your private world , spying , on every level with every gadget , yes its brutal 😩, but im still swiming , thanks richard for your posts , nice one 🙏❤️

This is why all my bosses and everyone at work hates me.. everyone else worships them and thinks they’re so amazing and I just treat them politely and keep my distance cause I’m not that talkative anyway and they HATE me for it

I grew up around very narcissistic relatives and it made it very easy for me to read that behavior in others as an adult. The best thing I can do is distance myself from those people and sometimes even cut contact fully if they arent willing to be respectful around me. Life is WAYYYYY too short to just accept nasty negative people in my life, even family.

it was the fear for me, i was in constant fear of being left, because he kept threatening it and doing it, I've never been so preoccupied with being left. So i eventually had to face this massive fear and leave. I did take it to the extreme and left the area. I was lucky enough to have the ability to get into a strict routine and to watch my thought processes. Unfortunately i did get into another abusive friendship in my new area but was very quickly able to end it with little damage to my recovery.

I think that narcissists are more dangerous than cult leaders. The latter know what they are doing, they are con men, whereas narcissists believe they are gods. Read any comic book where the villain has to take power from somewhere else to get stronger and stronger. That's why they suck the life out of people. First it is "I love you and you will make me a superhero and I will make all your dreams come true." Then they don't do anything (the more you do the less they do) because they can't. They are delusional. It's not their fault it is everybody else's. That's where the rage and abuse come in. They hate you now because you promised them superpowers, but they are still ineffectual and weak. YOU lied, not them. No dreams come true for you because YOU failed THEM. If they can get money or sex they will tell you anything to get it but it's not because they love you. They are disgusted with you. They will drink your admiration and doting and presents and lovely dinners and cute sexy nighty, but they hate you, and they are laughing at you because you are so stupid, but they'll take it until they can get their next source of superpowers.

If you find yourself in a position where you have no choice but to fight back, don't play to win. Play towards endless stalemates. That takes the least work on your part while simultaneously driving them to ramp up their attacks ever more. At some point, they will be burning their own world down to try and take you out at any cost while you're holding them back with minimal effort on your part. Although you didn't win, you made them getting what they wanted so costly they will never live it down.

Im living inside of this right now

Thank you so much Richard. Your videos helped me during the time when I couldn't afford therapy . I am healed to a large extent now , which i thought was not possible at that time. Took me almost 2 years to get here.

Great practical video. It’s much more helpful to understand signs to get out as opposed to trying to figure out the what and why of the person. That doesn’t matter because when you’re seeing these signs you’re in more danger than you even realize.

This is the video I needed before I even knew it. Thank you. These people are diabolical.

This is the calmest way to explain complicated relationships ❤

Sending Positive Energy to You All ! 📡

The evil that exists within a true NPD or whatever you would like to call it, goes far beyond childhood experience.

Knowledge is power , I remember prior to hearing the word narcissist from my oldest son, feeling so dazed and confused, once I researched into narcissistic behavior it was like a window opened up and I saw every pattern and realized what the what was happening , didn’t make it any easier because I’m just now getting off the runaway train going off the tracks. Yes I’ve lost so much , but I still have so much to loose so I appreciate your no holds barred approach, tell it like it is , is literally going to be what it takes for me to bail for good.

He tried to tell me about my childhood and my family (who isn't great), but he was so wrong. He made up facts and was not even close! When he told me i was a narcissist, I looked it up, scared that I was bad and didn’t know it. Omg, it was a script for all that he said and did. Chills! I learned the game. All of the analysing me and labeling me were all of HIS issues. It was such a mindf***.

I'm a victim of denying reality and being lonely..I'll get over it

A very close friend of mine is a narcissist. He knows he's a Narcissist and has a pretty high level of awareness. We have each set some pretty specific boundaries, so that our friendship can continue. Just this morning, on the phone, he told me he was trying very hard to be nice to me 😂 He was failing miserably. I just made an excuse to get off the phone. Observe don't absorb ... it works if the narcissist doesn't have any direct control over your life.

Thank you for this Richard & explaining it a way I understand 🕊

It’s been years and his voice still echoes in my head. Maybe it’s just turned into my own because I took it for so long.

The resentment that comes with the devaluation is appalling, it's like drinking poison..it will destroy anyone that opens the door to it.

It’s intensely condensed deep knowledge, revealed in this message. Potentially lifesaving. Pls listen carefully, and Leave the narc🙏

I swear to God my Ex Husband would scan me up and down mentally for information and use it later as a weapon against me ,,,He already had a the other person in place before he said he wanted a divorce ,,while I was in stage 4 of liver failure ,,,I had no value to him ,,he trashed me to all his friends ,,,but guess what ,,he lost all those friends due to the fact ,,that they knew me very well. Not sure if he was a Narc but he was certainly a Asshole ,,with no morale compass,,except when he was with me. FREEDOM TODAY still healing but have come a very very long way ,,,

Started thinking I missed my narcissistic ex-husband. Listening to this cured that!

A great video!! So much exact short spoken input!! It’s getting to a point were I think we all realize that our kind and loving humanity is in danger! And we have to strengthen our self to stop this kind of development!

Richard's on fire lately, and it's awesome!

I’m just taking steps to get rid of the woman that manipulated me for 40 years!! It’s never too late to escape but it will take a long time to start trusting women for me. Especially in the time we are living in. Too many feminist ideas. I go to sleep and think about it, I wake up and think about it and I think about it all day long!

Thanks Rich-invaluable advice.

Wow. Great job compacting ALL of this into one short video. You’ve really hit the nail on the head. Thank you.

Powerful commentary. Thank you, Richard.

I learned so much from you! Thank you for all the help to me and others who felt for the trap at some point.

Thank you for creating and sharing.

I believe this is the best video you have ever recorded. I have been I recovery for 7 years. This is succinct and touches on every bullet point. Thankyou Rich

Just wow. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you 😊 💓 I'm not sure if you've made vids about co- parenting with a narcissist but from experience, this hell loop never ends. I'm cautious when communicating but every 6 months he throws another curve ball at me that I then try to manage. It never ends when a person views children as property.

This is mind blowing in its total accuracy, Richard. Dead on.🌹

It’s amazing how, down to the details Richard understands this type of disorder. Amazing.

Great video! Thank you

Very interesting, I need to watch this again.

Short compact video loaded with great information. Thank you Richard!!! Much love & respect from Alabama ❤

I agree totally! This are the signs I saw and dealt with, that made me look after. And made me learn about npd. The cult of one was one aspect I recognized without knowing anything about npd. I told him right in the beginning, that I do not live and accept the rules his ex wife, which he saw as the leader of the Family. I told him his family is like a cult. And yes In the end I got under the bus. He left me beside the road like shit! Luckily I had learn enough about npd to wake me up and get out of the bond! Thx Richard!!

I have no other words other than to state Having once experienced this type of insidious behaviour for far too long, Richard Grannon is explaining this with absolute authenticity and accuracy . Something you will never hear nor experience from any toxic person. Abusive behaviour affects not only you but those around you that do generally care for and do love you . Sent from Manchester UK

Wow!!! This is deep, but it gives me such a greater understanding.

Omg! This sounds like my partner. I fight him constantly though. I refuse to allow him to control me in any way. His negative words bounce right off me. It's drives him insane

Wow. This is so insightful.

Thank you very much. This is helpful to know.

Oh yahhh ! I been THERE!

Thank you again for sharing your wisdom and expertise! ✌❤🌎

Wow, just wow. thank you.

Very excellent podcast.

I have listened to RG and his SLC since 2015. He and his audio programs btw are and we’re super helpful.! I only returned to watch as the algorithm placed this video in front of me. Heal your introjects and have zero contact in reality. Live within your body

What is a good response when the abuser is projecting their psychosis?

Wow, you describe it in a very scary and accurate way ❤

Thank you Richard

I believe I was in a narcissistic relationship for about 13 years or so and I'm so glad I'm free now and have entered a new chapter in my life!

Thankyou Richard 🥰🌹always stay blessed

Thank you.

I had just rationalized my dad's behavior, then the Truth was explained very clearly... again! The "weirdness" is happening more. If it wasn't 99% convenient/ manipulative ( with a history) one might think dementia. Unfortunately, it can be comorbid. Now I know why my mom mentioned certain things before she got old and passed away. The kitchen in this video looks like the kitchen when his mask dropped. I recorded that interaction which keeps me sane...I know it happened and can prove it to myself when gaslit. How I went 62 yrs not clueing-in is what amazes me.

Best explanation

💯 thank you Richard

Your on point

Excellent video! Excellent reminder of the escaped hell. Thank you so much Mr. Grannon.

Richard I need to move out of my house only escape at this point , away from my narcissistic adult son , I tried years to learn,help , patience I am in therapy for nothing… I am exhausted 😢all you say it’s exactly true ! Not to mention my whole life used and abused by narcissists, 5th year to study about and name for this asshols and your videos opened first time my eyes, thank you!💜

Thank you

You are the best around

Yep , had NPD partner break down weeping addressing me as their Mom ,when the abyss between false realities was staring them in the face . I had refused to be physically abused anymore - NPD thought I was their abusive parent for about 1/2 hr. Quite a sobering event.

Nice when they need something from you. Beyond cruel and vicious when they don’t. Unless you want to develop ptsd or other trauma related afflictions, keep them out of your life.

Wow I never thought of it like that omg 😳

He has done that!

I just saw another narc coach video tag line that said " why does the narcissist walk around naked " and I started laughing so hard . Lol .. who the hell cares I just want to heal and stay away . Thank you Richard for not educating us on why the narcissist walks around naked . Lmao

Thank you Richard, for this explanaition on these fases/signs. In some kind if way it is supporting me through this, and still i am hanging inbetween wether this person whom i involved with, has NPD or some kind of type of autism. (I've worked in mental healtcare for years myself). Language has always been 'taken and said' litteraly; which have caused many disturbance in our communication with eachother. But surely almost everytime ends up in bursting into a rage, with no openings into reflection on himself, what so ever... on behalf of derailing my confrontation towards him, than admitting when i gave no room to do otherwise, but still not reflecting as in being able to put it into words. I see my own aswell as his struggle too.

This reality grounds me ty Mr G

Dear God Richard You have an exact perception of this disease. Believe this is your calling. You articulate everything and I do mean everything perfectly. You have surpassed the teacher, no offense Sam, Richard has built a castle on your foundation. I bow to you because without you specifically, yes specifically you, I don't think I'd make it out. Things are not perfect but, I'm out. 🙏🏼 Just simply Thank you.

I'm still being attacked by a woman like that. Very very sad. 💔

After my narcissistic ex discarded me and she made it her life goal to make me know how happy she was that the relationship ended and she relished in my misery. I endured a month of this torment until I finally built up the courage to stand up to her and tell her to leave. After that her behaviour switched from happy to completely cold which confused me even further because she ended things so why was she so surprised when I wanted her out of my life? I reliase now she just wanted to stay in the house until she could manipulate her next victim into moving in together.

"I am suffering domestic violence, the worst kind of DV, the invisible kind". That's what I've been saying to what friends and family I have left and when I do, a light bulb seems to go off. My divorce is still underway and she is trying to destroy me as completely as she can and on every level she can. Thank you Richard - your videos have helped me understand what has been happening over the last decade, know what to do to survive, and in time I hope how to heal and thrive

His nasty breaking argument to get me out of the relationship was: shall I give you money so you will let me go!!! 😂oh yes he knew that would break me!! But it didn’t. Cause I was educated enough to look behind this evil trap!!

Richard ....it hurts. Im all alone. I'm not ready i need everything to just PLEASE STOP or at least slow down.......

At the end of my relationship with a physcotic narcissist I received a text from his mothers phone saying he wouldn’t stop until I was in prison or the gutter,it still plays on the loop in my head sometimes but the power has gone from it.

Yes your suicide (the last one last year as a business associate tried to starve me, then my ex narc husband escaped him 22 yrs ago, he is still going busy smear campagne me, my family is involved with parental alienation my children and it goes on and on in the village i cannot leave) is their high. Every where i go, everything i build they destroy.

I can attest to the psychotic delusion not only being a feature but, at times, the whole arena in which the devastating and baffling drama plays out.

I have been divorced for almost two years now, I sadly and unfortunately have shared custody with him of my two kids, so he still has access to me, and is still doing the same things that he was during our relationship