Can an INFJ be a NARCISSIST? 

I scored 60. As my psychologist said to me when I sought therapy after being discarded by my fiance who the therapist identified as a narcissist and asked her “What if I’M the narcissist? She replied: “If you’re seeking therapy asking yourself if you could be a narcissist, you’re not a narcissist!”. 😂

On a serious note I think if an INFJ is getting exposed for a longer time towards a narc. Then we might start mirroring some their traits or behaviour, cause we are such chameleons. Coming from out of relationship with a narc all of our functions have to be completely distressed, cleansed and rebooted properly. Yt video tomorrow I talk about and I link you to it.

A true narcissist wouldn't even go looking for a pen and paper at the beginning of your video. I have had two knuckle-busting, incandescently harrowing encounters with top-grade, 1A narcissists. Two of them. Who almost took me down...one physically and the other psycologically. If I wasn't an INFJ, and a bit on the dark side, I would have succumbed. Narcissists suck.

Narcissism is a spectrum so we all technically fall somewhere on the narcissism spectrum. This is coming from an INFJ.

Its funny how as INFJ's we tend to fear being a narc. But as for my personal experience, I was the complete opposite of a narc for all of my childhood. By mid 20's I started working on myself to not being a victim of narcs as those were what I tended to attract. Fast forward to today and I ask myself those questions because I am in a much healthier place and I don't get overly distracted by others and I focus on myself. So I tend to fear I am becoming one when in fact I have healthy boundaries and I am not easily manipulated (thanks to having both parents who were narcissistic.) So then you get on platforms like Quora who are constantly bashing INFJ's and often suggesting that we are narcs. It always scares me. So thank you for the test. I scored a 70. I have healthy boundaries. I am well balanced not just emotionally but logically. I have worked on my logical skills and am almost exactly in the middle between the thinking and feeling functions. I guess when I started putting myself first I felt like I could be a narc. But that simply isn't true. Again thank you.

INFJ's avoid conflict so we avoid starting fights. We want harmony.

I learned to do the door slam. No more narcs! "I'm done!" , are my last words.

I got a 41. I was going through this thinking, "shit, I'm too narcissistic." I guess I'm not narcissistic enough?

Fascinating. I know a narcissist who has convinced herself that she's an INFJ. She not empathetic, idealistic, or altruistic, but she claims she's all those things. And she goes around constantly diagnosing people as narcissists. I've noticed there are a ton of "INFJ vs Narcissist" videos on RU-vid, and I wonder if that's part of why she convinced herself she's an INFJ, because she's always calling out those imagined narcissists.

Narcissist will never take time for pen and paper

I scored a 74, but I've been going through a lot of stuff as of late and I may have also been dealing with a Narcissistic person that kinda made me look around for things like this; since I've also discovered I'm an INFJ etc, etc. Watched some of your vids; and a looooot of others that I could find on psychology and whatnot, to either grow personally, learn how I work better or how to properly handle being myself and what to do with all these feelings and thoughts. Bless your effort here.

52... Thanks David! 🥰Take some self-care time!

David - I just discovered you and LOVE your INFJ vids! I’m an ENFP and it’s so cool to hear about INFJ perspectives!😃😄

My secret thoughts, feelings, and actions would bore my friends to tears, as in I stayed up till 3AM, again, watching a Jane Austin movie.

I've got 47. Thanks so much for your video. I messed up several relationships and I got afraid that I am the narcissist:( Now I can rule this out:)

I got a 62. INFJ If you're dealing with a Narcissist just remember if you have called them out, there going to do everything to make you believe that you are the real Narcissist, and they are so good at it that you will start to question you're self. Thank you David for this video.

63 INFJ-T, but the streets trained me to be a dick lol

Wow I just came to this video from the first video of yours I’d ever seen. It must have been from a while ago because what a transformation. You’re thinner/built, hair looks great, your voice even sounds different! As one transformative infj to another, well done friend.

All children display narcissistic traits. I grew up with a mother with narcisstic traits so both her daughters (my sister and me) married narcissists. Many people confuse my power for narcissism (co-workers, friends)

I got 84. But I'm happy I wasn't above the narcissist bar. Sucks being a dick tho. Luckily I'm INFP and rarely interact with people that much. Thx for the vid David :)

You also have to keep in mind that INFJs are gonna be hard on themselves rather than like most people and err on the side of cutting themselves some slack. When do INFJs ever cut themselves slack? I ask you, when?

I grew up in a very dysfunctional narcissistic family. I know how to behave like a narcissist. I learned to use it as a survival and coping mechanism. I could indeed appear to be one, the difference being that I feel tremendous empathy for people (INFJ), I only dish it out when I am receiving it. once you learn their technique, you can out narc a narc, and sometimes you have to. They aren't usually very good at taking what they dish out. If you frustrate them, they will grow tired of it and loose interest. But if you embarrass them and point out their hypocrisies, they can turn malignant, and they will never stop.

I scored 48 so, I may have to do an INFJ door slam on myself.

Haha!! I asked you this on IG today! Never mind, never mind lol. Just watching now but I feel like I’ve been one.

Hello David! I got a 47. If I took it again, maybe 55-60 tops. I have always wondered if I have Narc tendencies, don't think so with this test. Maybe Anti-Narc tendencies. :-D Glad you are back "on the road", still in my thoughts and prayers though. Cheers, Jeff

Everybody is both great and terrible.

70 - 75 based on myself a year to 5 years ago and current now working on myself

That was interesting and I've always loved your chess analogy. I think introverts can come off as narcissistic because they're naturally internally focused, but the reason for it is different. I wonder what a true diagnostic test used by psychologists would look like versus the one you used. I feel like most of the questions were very general, none of them really dug at the heart of what makes someone a narcissist. I work at a place that does diagnostic testing for autism and the assessments they use to make a formal diagnosis are much more thorough than the general checklists online. I don't think online tests are useless, they can indicate a problem exists. But for a true diagnosis and treatment it's usually a good idea to see a professional, if you have the means to do it. Both the narcissists in my life are so unwell mentally I'm genuinely convinced they don't know they are one, and I doubt any test would make them see it because their whole world is built around seeing no truths about themselves ever. Humans are so complicated it makes my brain hurt 🤯

i got a 41 and i am still kind of afraid i might become a narcissist, but i feel a bit better about myself...

I got a 46 always wondered about this but I was raised with a narcissist, my little brother is one

Thank you, David. I'm an INFJ and not as narcistic as I thought I was. I've been praying for you and your family as you grieve the loss of your father ♥

72 just when I thought I had a fair grasp of this stuff, then something gets me pondering again.

I think part of the reason why I got as high as 45 was that my experience in the Peace Corps forced me to be more assertive and to adapt to failure (since sometimes it felt like all we did was fail, especially at the beginning when we were trying to adapt to the culture while getting work done). In a way, Peace Corps helped us move more towards the 'healthy' part of the score range. Those of us who were much lower (like myself) had to gain self confidence and put our well being as a priority, while those who were more on the narcissistic side (not that there were many in Peace Corps, as that kind of work requires a ton of focus on others almost by definition) were forced to put others first more. It seems like as one grows and adapts to life their score can change, though probably not dramatically after adulthood. What I would be interested in finding out is how these scores correlate to 'healthy' vs 'unhealthy'MBTI types (ie yours and my scores are probably more indicative of 'healthy' INFJs, while an unhealthy INFJ might either be much lower or much much higher). Maybe there is a kind of feedback loop with regard to narcissism vs its opposite. Those more on the narcissistic side might attract certain types of people that, in return, encourage the narcissism, while the opposite is true for those on the opposite ends of the spectrum. This effect might be more pronounced the farther away from the center of the spectrum a person is. OK, NI brain dump over

40 - FOOD FIGHT!!!! Nope, wait a minute - too much waste in the world already... So much for violent tendencies. Great video!

53 was my score and I tested infj 3 times. Still not absolutely sure about this

78 not a narc, but just enough to see them for who they are.

It really sucks when narcissistic/sociopathic types mess you up in your younger years. Really sucks.

Great video 👏🏽💯👏🏽

My score was 64. I was raised by a narcissist. Now I'm taking care of her. Hate my life... She does things that I would be smacked or belittled for as a child. On purpose 😔

This is what I do for fun.......yeah! Love it!

Stop stop stop! Your chess analogy🤯 and description of your channel. The word you say or like you’re reading my thoughts. Although I’ve always been this way I’m a newly discovered I NFJ. I have always thought of my personality traits like a gift and a curse. The gift 95% being extremely loving and forgiving. The curse 5% being the “Door slam”! 🙏👍👍 love your channel.

Every time I watch your videos I analyse your room to see what's new or different. Love your plushies and the color combination 🦊

I kind of needed that. When I was younger it was all about everyone else and trying to achieve harmony while doing small things for myself and trying to figure out life. After being burned by several situations, a lot of my own doing; I developed assertiveness. I figured that no one will advocate for me except me. I also figured out that I will be treated as I allow others to treat me. Sure, I am passionate and outspoken about a few things. I do tend to keep a lot of stuff private. The company I keep tends to sway how my thinking is sometimes, especially if I don't have a firm belief in some ideas. Otherwise I am who I am, lol. I still tend to "hmm and haw" and think how my decisions will affect everyone in my life, which sometimes brings me to a standstill. Oh, I got a 60

I scored a 35.... Dude, I hope I am okay 😂

OMG!!! I love chess and I constantly compare it to the world around me. LOLOL. But in the real world I'm not part of the game at all. I'm neither Queen nor Pawn. I'm just an observer.

Good news! Im not a narcissist. But my ex, in my head I scored him. Complete opposite! Scored very high. Wish me luck fellow infjs as I face the battle of my life as he has temporary custody of our 4 year old. I so enjoy the info about me by someone like me. Its a mirror to see how I do captivate people with my mind. You captivated me. I didnt zone out the way I usually do when listening to youtube. Your tone, pace and inflection are purposeful. I totally appreciate your delivery. This alone has me binge listening to get more information in such a pleasant way. Thank you!

Unhealthy INFP here. I got 23. Hate to think what I was a couple of decades ago, before I did all the emotional work🤔

I scored a 44 and I am ALWAYS DRAINED. I thought some of the questions were a little too vague, but overall a good test.

Got 49. And I'm quite sure that would have been a lot lower a few years ago. Gotten rid of most of the narcissists in my life and learned how to deal with the ones i can't escape has helped with that. The covert type can really destroy you from the inside out, so watch out!🧐

55 what a relief. srsly. good to see you back David, we missed you! truly;

"from the environment", yes, therefore made not born, I scored 50

I got 45... and was trying to do like worse case scenario, when I’m at my worst 😳

I got a 33. Although this video was done a year ago. I decided to share. Good luck. I am working on that number as well.

46, was surprised the baseline was around 60, guess im setting myself up to be abused

INFJ - 64 I can totally get wrapped up in my crap and start to spiral...the Ni-Ti loop... being able to shift my focus and help others breaks me out of that. Quarantine had me very stuck in that loop. Now that school has started, it almost like flip of a switch. I feel like I’m coming off very extroverted. Making up for lost Fe time? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Although with our virtual Friday’s (teacher prep for me) I am perfectly content to hole myself up in my office, do my work and not interact with anybody. 😂

Of course, as INFJ.

I scored a 71 so maybe a tiny tiny splash of narcissism? But just got out of a 14 yrs on and off relationship with a narc , so maybe a lived and learned kinda grading. More guarded but probably 14 yrs ago I would have scored about a 29. My narc at the end told me I’m to nice and people take advantage of me ummm yeah like yourself? 🤷🏻‍♀️ but honestly Ill never stop being “too”nice to anyone cause I never know how they are really feeling inside and I want everyone to know they are loved no matter what. ❤️ and if it’s at my cost that’s ok cause gods got my back.

Lol. I got 31. Good grief! I’m still trying to not attract guys that are narcissists(nothing personal, I like 50/50 in a relationship). 🤷‍♀️

A 65 whoo hoo!! Average as average can be!

I like my score of 59. It makes me feel a little normal:)

we can copy narcs perfectly...

Lovely to have you back. Much love xx

I just noticed you have a sword hanging on the wall. That's so cool 😎 this video has brought up so many questions a out narcissistic people around me. Thank you for speaking out about this stuff! - INFJ from Barcelona 😊

Thank you for this video David. Great to see you back. Very informative and the need to educate people about the narcassist is important. I'd never heard of them until a few years back and the penny dropped what was happening in my own relationships at times, I was a supply. My thinking is, narcassists don't show up when their friends are struggling, they aren't interested, but if they have an emergency, you absolutely must show up or they will make your life hell. . Empath's do show up 99 % until they reach burnout.

God i love how you began this topic. So spot on, i dont have a problem with them i just hate them. God yes. Didnt do the test yet, because i saw your heartfelt video about your brother and father and my heart went out to you and yours.

I feel like the universe played me because I got 42. As an INFJ I feel that I cannot be the answer to the universe. That is not in my job description.

Hahaha love your humour😆

I scored 51. Taking this test at different stages of ones life will make all the difference in scoring. I'm turning 60 this year and have lived a very eventful life which I consider a blessing. I have questioned my behavior many times. When your told that you were thought of as conceited or intimidating it throws you back a little. Condescending is my favorite. My intentions are far from those labels. Because of my need to have an understanding of all things over the years has made life easier. Thanks for the test.

I scored a 65, as I'm going through a tough time atm. So might be a littler higher than it might have been.

That was fun! Grain of salt included, for sure ;-) I'm a highly sensitive ENFP with lots of affection for INFJs and was burned by a 'romantic relationship' with a vulnerable n about 1.5 years ago. Scored 64 points, being generous with the higher figures -- so could be 55ish on another day... Pretty average, I guess :-)

50ish...may be as high as 55 depending on how the questions are interpreted. The wording was tricky on some and on others, my response was immediate. Very interesting! Thanks David.

I'm an INFJ-A and I feel that I'm a narcissist and it scares me. I want world harmony and at the same time can probably be the cause why the thing can't be achieved The dillema ):( I've made some deep thinking about this during lockdown and based on my observation, and most of the time that I turn apathetical is when people that I love the most, hurts me so I lock myself of from everyone

You are funny...I langer so hard

I scored 39, will come back after few months again to check if i am a narcissist or not :). Lots of love and thanks to you David.

Thank you for sharing the test. I got 66. Great video and I can't wait for another one (:

I just gasped! Scouts honor David, I scored a 38 as well! I can see why I've been so stressed my hair has been falling out. :( It doesn't help that it's been a hell of a year so far, especially for an INFJ! 😕

I got a 46. I honestly found the questions a little confusing and also easy to relate because of the wording. That may be because I have a harder time understanding some things and can sometimes unintentionally misunderstand some things especially if I don’t read it right. Witch happens a lot. So because of that, I had to stop myself to really think about what the question really meant and how it was asked. It confused me at points because I naturally want to see everything from a neutral point of view. So I had to pause and think about it even more than just simply answering the question. It was a little weird, but overall, I guess it was good. It just confused me for the most part. I’m glad that I made myself stop and think about it though. Also great video! 👍 (^ ^)^

I might approve the score on the middle coz we are all not perfect...our characters depends on our environment as humans... and we dont need to boast...

What about the 71-81 range? And what about your plans for amassing an armored capybara army?

Thank you for taking the test with us! I took it on my own before... but this way it's much more fun! I got 51. My Achilles's heel is criticism and being ridiculed. Taking remarks personally sometimes. Not so much by strangers, but by close friends? Definitely. Success and failure is a thing for me, too. Some of the questions of the covert narcissism test confuse me. Is 6) "feeling different" really a sign for narcissism? What if this "feeling different" is about thinking something is wrong with you? I think many INFJs feel this way, especially when they are younger. 8) "getting absorbed in own interests" - maybe I didn't get the meaning right, but at times when I'm in Ni / Ti I can get really absorbed in my philosophical thoughts and forget all the world around me. This is a way to get absorbed in my own interests, too - but it's not narcissistic motivated. I still care for other people - I just loose connection to reality. When I'm present with other people in Fe it's quiet different though.

36 and I felt bad each time I put in an answer above 3. But I'm really glad I took this test because I was actually afraid at times I might have narcissistic tendencies because my parents are narcissists. I actually sometimes would like to be an INTJ to be able to express myself without worrying about hurting someone because everything inside me screams this things need to be put out there... but I still have really hard time doing it - especially when it comes to standing up for myself. And I have all those tactics of running around the issue instead of stating it how I see and feel it. Then why, may you ask, I was even worried about being a narcissist? Because when I actually start speaking about myself I cannot stop. The flood gates open. Tho my therapist told me that it's because no one really payed attention to the real me when I was growing up. So when I find a "victim" willing to look at me I am unable to hold things in. But I am learning to build more relationships so I don't just dump everything on one person (for a very long time the only person I had for that was my boyfriend and I totally managed to overwhelm him and of course only then I realized I need to do something about... not because I needed it but because I hurt someone else). I am learning that if I lower a bit a few of the walls I've built over the years people are actually curious what's up with me. I just need to give them a chance to learn what to do with me. P.S. I actually have this theory based on dealing with narcissist very closely for my whole upbringing, that it's not like narcissists are inherently incapable of empathy. They perceive it as a threat in most cases and because of that if you force them into a situation that would fire up empathy in most people they go into their highest defensive mode. I've managed to trigger that reaction in my parents a few times and oh boy, it's not pretty.

This little test was fun. I got a 48. Definitely not a narcissist.

Have you ever had strangers come up to you and tell you their troubles, some very personal, abuse and so on and then end their story with I've never felt that I could share this with anyone? I'm an INFJ and this happens to me a lot, does this happen to you?

22 🤷‍♀️😲🤦‍♀️🙈 oh no and I thought I’m much better then I used to now 😅 which I am...I’m gonna do test again this can’t be 🤣🙈😆

Got a 53! 😂

I don't think its possible. Because narcissists can never self reflect and INFJs are always in self reflection mode. But lets take the test, sounds like fun. 48

Fuck....I think I might be a narcissist 🥺 ....or at least I have more tendencies than im happy with

Ole 52… my mother and my father is narcissistic in behavior, also children with 2 women I believe are narcissistic. I feel that has pushed me in the direction of being more of a dick and is something I need. I still feel heavily pulled into the feelings of ppl either just being around them or especially listening to troubles and that will drive me away from what I’m trying to focus on. If I am trying to focus on doing something complex or organizing things and someone speaks of something not associated with the task I get distracted easily, lately I do get very annoyed if it’s something that person keeps doing often.

That's what I needed, Normal score 60, Thank you very much

I got a 39 / 40…. 😅 Oh god.

My score is 57. Some of those questions i think i don't even care about - like other's people opinions, other people looks, etc. Well, i don't care nor have any of jealousy 🤷‍♀️

67. I was genuinely worried looking at some of those 4's and 5's I answered. 😂 Also I'm imagining a street fighter scenario in the comments. Thanks David. 👍😅

I scored 99. (Just kidding). I scored 67. I think my score would of been lower in my younger years when I was nurturing my 2 girls who are now respectfully turning into young ladies. Now I have a little more " me " time for self love, but definitely not in a narcistic way, as you know. We just need it don't we. Hope your ok, and I hope you become less self sacrificing. You deserve it.

Both INFJs and people with NPD don't like being criticized for their actions. However, INFJs are inclined to improve themselves, whereas those with NPD may not.

Haha no way David! If you ask a narcissist if they are a narcissist, they’ll deny it and accuse you of being one! 😱 and then come after you to punish ya for daring suggest such a thing about their perfect wonderfulness and not appreciating them! I’ve actually done it! I got 69 - so I’m only slightly a dick! Haha But I’m a nice dick! ;) I’m just seasoned a bit cause I’m old and Ive learned to consider myself more along the way from having dealt with a few narcissists! ;) I’ve learned the value of some other things also along the way, the word NO (ahhh that word the narcs hate so much) and developing good healthy boundaries. Oh but back in the day I’d of gotten a much lower score. I barely mattered as I skirted off to try and please and/or help all the narcissists, which was btw what helped me grow as a human being. Facts. They do quite a number on us empathic folks, but I still don’t subscribe to the line of thought that the can’t be helped. I just speak as I can to them and leave them to their issues. My line was drawn when my health was effected. I wanted harmony for us all so much, but it was ironic I had to get it by saying - I matter also and No More. Still bothers me tho. Haha - I just consciously decide to do differently. And yes I do too! - I feel much less alone since I found out there are others like me! Imagine that! Love ya and love your channel! Glad to see ya back! ❤️🙏 Missed ya.

63, but I do try not to be a dick, unless seriously no other choice. 🤗

Miss you David. Hugs my friend. I listened again did the test got 38.

Hi there! I got a 40. Which is good since I am an Episcopal priest so i’m supposed to love people for a living. Secondly, i did want to affirm this channel is a bit like a home for me. Many priests in my tradition are INFPs so i’m more of a fish out of water than most. it’s like “ok David fits in he’s mostly like us ... but not really, no .... no he doesn’t. David is an alien who is good at faking it.” Also glad you talked a lot about how we can change with work.

Scored a 43... interesting little test...made me think about different situations in my life. Hope you are doing ok.❤️

49...Surprised - though relieved - it isn't higher!