Can You Truly Be Happy As An Alpha Woman?  

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I grew up seeing my mother as a housewife. My dad work and my mother stayed home and took care of 3 children until we went to kindergarten. Then my mother started working when all of her kids went to school. My mother is now retired from her job along with my dad is retired. However I saw my father as a provider I do feel that black women don’t get a chance to see a black man work and taking care of a woman and their family. I wish that more black children can see this dynamic coming from a 2 parent home!

I knew several women who were housewives. Most of their husband's cheated on them and left them. All those women are homeless now. I remember we used to have a lot of good times at their residents. I can't believe it, when I see those women now, they are actually homeless. Women please don't depend on a man. If he decides to leave, you will be homeless. Get a job, career, do something.

Just because a woman is career driven does not make her an alpha. A lot of woman love what they do . We like to accomplish things also. Rather Some of us we are married or not we will get our accomplishments regardless.

I was taught to work, but I never embraced it. I work because I have to. It’s not a passion or pride to do so. I would never “choose “ to work. Entrepreneurship or not.

Bring her back, great guest …she got more to offer!!

Men and women BOTH have to die to self and start anew. We BOTH have negative learned behavior that needs to be unlearned. The key word is BOTH(men and women). GIVING GRACE is so needed.

So true about dating men at a certain lifestyle! I don't even tell men what I do I just observe how they move and if it doesn't line up keep it pushing. A lot of them will become very mean to you if they realize your lifestyle is at a higher caliber too. It's confusing and very hurtful.

My ex fiancé wanted me to stay home and I didn’t think I should be cause I was taught black women aren’t allowed to be stay at home wife. We had to work just as hard as the men. I wish I would have taken advantage of that now. I totally understand where this women is coming from.

The culture needed this conversation. I have always had this mindset set about relationships and how I have dealt with men, especially in regards to sex. I am glad to see women speaking in this nature and not in victim hood. But having a mindset of accountability/understanding and in the end having a healthy outcome. Self love and grace is the major key.

You know what was amazing she didn't bash men for our nature she talked about how she accepted it (after some frustration) and built strategies around it.

The whole concept of Alpha female is misunderstood by both men and women. Being an Alpha female doesn't mean I have to be the head of the household. The lionesses hunt like the male lions but submit to the males, have the babies and take care of the pride. You can be a healthy Alpha female or a dysfunctional one. The issue when it comes to relationship is finding that secure Alpha male that is secure enough to handle you with your strength, achievements and resourcefulness

Being an alpha man or woman has nothing to do with your income level. It has everything to do with you leadership skills, confident, and extremely ambitious.

I got diagnosed with cancer and my then husband thought it was a good idea to cheat and blamed me having cancer to justify his actions. It’s always something I tell ya. Men never get to be held accountable, it’s just brushed under the rug .

I wonder if men know that women have a purpose in this world just like men and it’s not limited to their (men) thoughts. God purpose for people lives are far greater than the limited thoughts of man.

I totally understand and agree with her on having the “tools” and “direction” (help) in a marriage. Two young people, untested, don’t know “how to work through” chaotic & traumatic times or moments of hopelessness. I can completely relate to being legit in love with your husband, but if the two people lose or doesn’t have adequate support & direction it will spiral deeper into larger issues and they will give into despair. The marriage will definitely unravel. These conversations are SO vital! 🙏🏽

We need to heal from our trauma as a collective.

Expecting that a man is going to cheat or check out of a relationship because the woman gets seriously ill, because men are fixers and they can’t fix that, is foul. I feel that that’s a cop out because we hear about men who do stay and step up when their woman is sick. Are they the exceptions? Are there bigger factors? Or do I have to accept that I may end up devoting my life to a man who will not be there if I get cancer or get into a bad car accident? That feels really disheartening to consider. Like why am I trying so hard to be a great wife for someone who will up and cheat, leave even, over something I cannot control or avoid? It’s a difficult position to consider from either end.

Post traumatic slave syndrome is real. Epigenetic is real. Thinking about it a woman is born with all the eggs she will ever have. So that means that you were in grandmother's womb when she was pregnant with your mother.

Million dollar worth of game for women and men in my opinion!!! Great show pay attention people 💯🎯

My God! Thank you for having her on your show. This is me. Has been me for decades. A good male friend of mine, had a similar conversation with me and when he said it. I was ashamed. I told him I use to take that title as a “badge of honor”, but here I am 47, single mother of an adult child and never married. Not that marriage is the be all end all, but it was a desire of mine as a child. I tear 😢 up on the years lost because I am not where I desire to be.

Wow, I’m floored. I feeling so strongly that her name is Christal for a reason. I feel like she’s telling my exact story. I wouldn’t be surprised id there is some level of statistical significance between black women and educational achievement. I Thank God for this sister doing this important work. There’s so much power in naming something/phenomena and shedding light on this pattern amongst Black sisters. Thank you for this episode 🙏🏼

There is sooo much to be said. For starters, I think this woman made excellent points. Ok…we have to stop with the “men don’t like” or “men like” talk. There are MANY different kinds of men with different views. Some love and ONLY want independent women who make and have their own. Even famous men. Remember Neyo’s song, Miss Independent? There are even men who prefer their woman to make more money that them. Not every woman wants to be solely left to the home and hobbies. Women are humans who too want to thrive utilizing talents and gifts. And some are more skilled than men. If we took that away from the world, we’d be at a disadvantage. Think about all the great women inventors and workers. Not all men are good leaders. Just being born male doesn’t make you a great decision maker. You can’t follow every man. You may end up in a horrible position. And lastly, we don’t know that every woman is going to end up married or married to a man who will be there for the rest of their lives. There should be some backup finances in case a woman never gets married or is left high and dry. I come from a two parent home, with my parents still married. My father taught me to have my own even in marriage. It’s always good to contribute. And these days it’s not always easy to make it off of one income. I say this all with respect.

I think it is smart for a women to be able to take care of herself. You never know what life will bring to you. My partner passed away suddenly and I had to take care of myself and my teenage daughter. I loved him because he allowed me to be myself and was not threatened by me being me. If I never knew how to take care of myself I would have been lost when he passed away. I was never really the barefoot in the kitchen type of women. I also came from a single parent household and was taught no one can take better care of you than yourself and God bless the child who has his own. Any man that comes into my life will have to respect that and not be intimidated by a strong women. Some of us had to hold it down for whatever reason. So I would like to salute the strong independent women many of us have been through a lot. I really enjoyed this. Bring her back again. Thanks.

As a feminine entrepreneur-minded female, I can confirm that you can be a leader in your work while stepping back and being submissive in your relationship. When I'm off the clock, it feels great to relax and let someone else take the lead. Being in your feminine and having healthy work/life boundaries is essential 💝

i love this.. thank you so much, im 26year old young man And im very much inspired to be a the best man i can be......thumbs up

I came from a two family home my grandparents were married on both sides. My mother was house wife for decade or more. Mom even had a maid to help in the house. I was different married couple of times. I got my hustle from my father and work from home until the last child went to college. I am happy have a friends circle. My former spouse college sweetheart has express regret over the outcome of out relationship. My opinion we continue to base our relationship standard from a Eurocentric reference. I became a therapist with a home base practice. I had therapy to work on my trauma. Self care life long swimmer , strength training, gemstone collector, African base spirituality. Love y’all - know your self and don’t forget to pray. Pray changes things . 😘🌈😘🌹🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🌼🌸🌟⭐️

I really enjoyed this dialogue ...she represents the Alpha women well.

Promise I’ve been watching yall ep straight since yesterday .. I plan on building my podcast in the same focus as you guys.. thank you for the inspiration and I will continue to tune in to the info🤝🏾

Really enjoyed this conversation. Thank you for sharing your story and reminding me of my value.

This was SO encouraging to me. My name is Crystal so every time I heard you say “Christal, you are enough” that hit home. Your story is my story…and I see what God has done for YOU and it encourages me, so thank you for sharing! 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽

This was encouraging! Loved hearing the difference in views❤

You guys bring the best content!!

Love Christal!!! She's so correct on all levels. Please follow her. The break down of her book and steps to take are so useful. Truly makes you reflect and move differently.

She is so awesome. This is great dialogue.

Watching this helps me gage how much I’ve healed all across the board. I’m on a dating app now and I can see the brokenness in men and the desperation of them needing that trust in them to be leaders. This one guy (that I’m liking 😉) says to me “but are you able to trust me to lead “ I said to him…trusting you is no issue because I trust myself. He said that’s deep! What I meant was I trust that my days of having hang ups and making bad decisions is over because I’m healed. I trust now that whatever comes down the pipe I can respond properly and lovingly.

Thanks Christal ,this blessed me and gave me more fuel to continue the journey I am on.

This is so informative, I loved this episode. Please bring her again

Much needed!!! Thank y’all so much!!!!

My DAD Sang Bass Vocal With, "The ORIGINAL PLATTERS" And Began Touring The World When I Was Age 9 . . . So, I Was Less Than Prepared For REAL Relationships With Sincere Intent WithOUT Adequate Healthy Father/Dauter Interaction . . So I Was Wandering In A WILDERNESS EXPERIENCE Serching For A Place To "BELONG," SOMEWHERE . . . DAD APOLOGIZED TO ME WHEN I WAS AGE 40, For NOT Being There For Me When I Was Growing Up & For ALL Of The poor relationships That I Had Survived . . . I AM Still Here AS AN, "... OVERCOMER; BY THE B L O O D OF THE LAMB & THE P O W E R OF M Y TESTIMONY . . . . . ! ! ! ❤

This was a great video. Great motivation for those who are still single and still desire real love from a healthy healed man that is grown grown.

I'm learning so much by listening to you guys! Keep up the amazing work Kings!

Fantastic episode, everyone! Keep up the good work 👏🏾👏🏾

I think we need to redefine the definition of Alpha female . At certain age , a single woman will be an alpha women because she has to take care of herself and sometimes , she doesn t have a choice than to be independant . When men come in our life and see that we are highly independant . it is always interpreted as she doesn t need a man , she is a feminist , etc . Being an Alpha women has been portrayed as a negative thing , it is a reality for most of women . i really like this episode . Thank you guys for your work . i enjoy all of your episodes .

Great marketing fellas and the content was solid. When CristalXO said " Overachieving was how I could gain my mothers love and approval" It was an eye opening moment.

I've literally had a dude ask if I was a real housewife and/or hip hop wife/girlfriend. How distasteful smh.

Great discussion!

34:09 Absolutely clarity of TRUTH! They inherently despise it, but have helped create it. Wow. 💯so many sobering gems 💎 just a few min in. Enjoying the inquisitive receptive nature and acknowledgment from the hosts. While still expressing independent thought. Very good 👍🏽 #solid

I enjoyed the conversation. You guys are the best

I'm an Alpha Female, except in my relationship. New subscriber, great episode!

Very informative, i learned so much from this. What an extraordinary beautiful woman. I love it when a panel can disagree without bashing and arguing. ❤

Honestly, I didn't think I would like this, but I was enlightened. I still don't believe in an alpha female as a woman, but I understand her standpoint

Christal it’s always a pleasure to see you ❤

I AM Age 72. PUBLISHING MY BOOK, "THE ICING ON MY LIFE CAKE" & ABOUT TO EARN MY "SELF-DEVELOPEMENT & SOCIAL BEHAVIORAL SCIENCE 'AA' DEGREE THIS FALL FROM CERRITOS COMMUNITY COLLEGE . . . TO SET PRECEDENCE FOR MY 5 CHILDREN, 19 GRANDKIDS, & 6 GR8-GRANDS, AND COUNTING . . . . . I A M TWICE ORDAINED IN CHRISTIAN MINISTRY VIA "THE NATION OF ISLAM" (IN THE 70'S ...) ❤ 😅 😊

When people date, they always ask “what, how, where, when” questions. But I believe if people asked more “why” questions, people would get to the bottom of a person’s mind and may be able to identify a trauma they may have. Ask why until you can’t answer anymore. That is the root answer.

This was excellent on many levels. 💪🏾🚀

This was a very very good conversation. I have these conversations with my guy friend all the time. I definitely agree that an alpha personality in a female shouldn’t be seen as a difficult woman. A lot of eye openers on how men and women both look for different things in a partner. There should definitely be another conversation on understanding the differences in more detail. ❤

This show had been so helpful to me. Ive been digging so deep into my past and how it has affected me. Love this show

I was an “Alpha female” and I used to never take days off. I was so stressed out that I got extremely sick and it took me a couple years to learn how to stop over working. It’s all we are taught by our single mothers. Learning to ask for help was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

Just found you guys Podcast just from wanting to see another Tim Ross interview (One of my biggest influencers). But I definitely 💯 see what a difference you guys make withe just the questions & quality type of people you have on. BIG UPS, RESPECT & BLESSINGS TO Y’all.

Ladies! Stop being afraid to say you're STRONG, because you are mentally, spiritually, intellectually, among other things! They are strong naturally because the bigger bodies!

Love this interview!

Whether by choice or by circumstance I personally know of at least of 10 alpha females who had high level positions and were burning the candle on both ends. Unfortunately,, every last one of those particular women either had a stroke had a brain aneurysm, were diagnosed with a chronic illness, or died prematurely ( health related). As a female omen especially cannot burn the candle on both ends for an elongated period of time and not expect to have your WIC blown out early.

Now this is the kind of quality woman that deserves a recurring resident role on your show to encourage and model to women how to transition out of masculine energy into feminine energy. This is wisdom. And she has tangibles. Not a boyfriend but a MARRIAGE. Therefore, she is most credible in giving relationship and femininity advice. She was honest about the origin and folly of her drinking the feminism Alpha female kool-aid and what it cost her. Then her story illustrated HOW she held herself herself accountable to become better. She paid the price and through humbling herself to reform and "doing her deep work" Love found her again. She is not scolding and talking harsh and condescending to Black women one minute, then the next calling them "sister" while inviting them to buy her book , course, or coaching session in the next breath. Young Black women need to hear from women like this, NOT public seductresses who call themselves a goddess.

As a trading Christian wife and mother I’ll admit that I really enjoyed hearing her point of view on life, career, and marriage. It is true that working women are expected to measure their success using a masculine measuring stick versus a feminine one. I appreciate that she was able to respectfully articulate her points without demeaning men. Great interview!

Most ladies mislabel hyper self reliance as independence , when the former is a trauma response and the latter is a healthy trait for any adult!

I’m only 13 minutes in and this is such a valuable conversation. I’m actively learning how to drop my Superwoman cape, because I recognize how it’s blocking having a healthy loving relationship. I can do relate to her story.

At 47:00 she talks about how a man didn't respond to her negative energy. Do you know how many women abuse men that stay level headed like that. They will continue to push your buttons and be disrespectful just to get a reaction. That's a special dude

I am pleasantly surprised by this podcast. Thank you!

This episode was an huge eye opener into my relationships with men. It definaetly helped me to see my situation in a different perspective.

🔥🔥🔥 Great…powerful well needed conversation Thank you guys I thank the Most High God for my Healing ❤️‍🩹 and learning to love and trust myself and Him Again!!!💯

Some of the things she described is who I am now. Very insightful.

Shalom men of valour and many blessings to you both and to your beautiful families. This beautiful woman of substance is truly graceful in her femininity. And I agree with you both. She indeed brought the knowledge and intelligence to this table along with you both. This discussion was very productive. I would also like to share something if that is ok. I can understand why some men are not in favor of women identifying themselves with the "alpha" term. But this shows men the reality of their positions as leaders. Women watch you. They watch men. They examine their stature and how they move in their masculinity. The Most High crafted our forms to take on the disposition as teaching instruments. The way we move in our design and in our blueprint give voice to the nature of teaching. So women have watched men use their abilities in giving language to the "alpha" term. And since alot of women have been conditioned to believe that they have to produce and work just as hard as the men (as the beautiful woman has shared from her personal experience in this conversation), they have used the man's heavily built form as a teaching instrument. This is why we have to be careful with what we give language to and how we give language to the things we learn, embrace, and adopt. So since alot of women has seen men take up the "alpha" term, they chose to follow along that same path. And some women do not realize that the spirit of competition had its hand in the influence while trying to keep up with the way that the man moves in his ability to produce and build. What we need to understand, is the fact that this term is a real nature, but this nature originates with The Messiah Jesus Christ. He is the Original Alpha. He is The Alpha and The Omega. Which means that He is the Originator of life and He is the Originator of the fruitful production and building processes of this life. Life starts with Him and ends with Him. This is what His nature means as The Alpha and The Omega. Now, if men and women are trying to adopt this nature, then that means that we cannot put on own spin on it, because this nature moves in weight and it gives language to a totally different presence of life and power. There is a discipline that comes with this nature and anyone who professes this nature has to understand the importance of manifesting the fruit that comes with it. Because the alpha nature is about kingdom. It is not about pursuing a high level career. It is not about making alot of money. And it is not about creating a particular status for oneself. Those things can only compliment this nature. The alpha nature speaks the language of The Most High's Kingdom and it resounds the voice of Heaven. There is a distinctive glory that clothes the alpha nature. And that glory reflects the same glory that The Most High walks in. So if a man or a woman is going to profess this nature, they have to go through regeneration, they have to go through the development processes that come with this nature. Because a person has to be refined in their inner man. They have to reflect the inner wealth that identifies with this build. It is alot more information that comes with this subject, but I just wanted to share this. Because there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to see herself in this nature. But she cannot try to exalt this nature over the man and how he moves in this nature. There is still a divine order present and the woman has to respect that order. Because The Most High put that order in place for her protection and for the man's protection. God Bless you all and thank you for allowing me to share. Shalom

Awesome discussion 👏🏾

10q, I needed to listen to this. Please bring her back again.😍😍😍

There are not 2 worlds. There is not a world for the woman (soft world for a soft life) and one for men. If a woman is in the world she has to survive and live as any woman/man.

Another GREAT guest!

Really enjoyed hearing her experience and how she has matured from each. Great questions pivoting the conversation and adding leading insight gentleman

I’m glad she said it! Alpha women look at men as extra. The best kind of extra! Even so, an AW can still be submissive in relationship. I agree with him that on a whole women aren’t driven to provide, but Alpha women thrive on winning and excel because they are driven by snuffing out mediocrity in their space. They have real passions and get fulfillment from crushing life goals. Just happens that it also makes money! Seems hard for him to understand that a woman can have career goals without blaming it on having no help. And how off base to think that AW are simply doing things bc a man can. AW do it bc we want the same rewards the men get ($, power) and has NOTHING to do with competing with men. Seems men are the ones who think this is a competition with the opposite gender. I like crushing women in the work place just as much! AWs just want to be on the field if qualified to be there. And now I hate the term career driven given the negative connotation here. Career driven for some is just the personification of our life purpose. Yes, a woman’s life purpose can extend beyond caring for a family.

I'm not even an alpha woman but I might buy the book just because Christal is such an amazing woman. 😊

This was a great podcast love Crystal

Beautiful woman. Thank you for this

Such a good episode

Thanks for teaching great story

Speak girl. I am in the same mindset but I wasn’t always this way. My ex-husband was my rock and when we divorced, I had to become the head of household. I went back to school, even though I already had a degree so that I can provide for my two girls as the new leader of the house. This was over 13 years ago and I still get PTSD and do not want to let go of my leader role when I date. I know it’s me.

So I first saw them on Tonight's Conversation. And was not impressed- HOWEVER I do love this podcast. They have excellent guests. Such good conversations. Great conversations, and its excellent that people that don't have the same opinions can talk without being blatantly disrespectful.

Oh my gosh!!! Functionally depressed, yes!!! Everyday!!

For me, I prefer 'SURVIVOR' over strong... Grateful to GOD for direction to keep going. #STLlove

Great conversation

@28:25 Welsey Snipes character in Waiting to Exhale.

Why is trauma always associated with a successful woman? I’m so confused.

I don't know any woman, in the right mind who don't want to be able to take care of herself!

I am alpha female in business life but not in my marriage

Tyshawn what other group of women doesn’t necessarily need to depend upon themselves? To teach a young woman to depend on a man is dangerous!!!! And history has shown us that!

I needed this

I enjoyed listening to this speaker.

Maybe men ask themselves why are women not content with the life their husbands provide? Because the women does not need just the bills being paid, clothes and food. They want maybe further education, want to have an impact in the world. It they decide together how the income of the family is distributed, they would be more willing for a time to put having a carrier on hold. But if she is taking care of children, house, he is deciding alone on the money issue, of course the women want to leave.

Mic drop🎤 What a gem Does she have a youtube channel?

Hey Christal 👋

COMMUNICATION IS KEY ❤