Can Your Relationship Be Saved?

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On today’s show, we hear about:
- A husband desperate to earn his wife’s trust back
- A woman wondering if she should break off her engagement
- Why physical health is key to mental health
Send John your questions. Leave a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or reach out via this page: Ask a Question - Ramsey (ramseysolutions.com) We want to talk to YOU!
As heard on this episode:
- BetterHelp - bit.ly/3seoBCe
- DreamCloud - dreamcloudsleep.com/delony
- Hallow - www.hallow.com/delony
- Thorne (25% Off Orders) - www.thorne.com/u/delony
Resources:
• Building a Non-Anxious Life - bit.ly/3EL5ubR
• Anxiety Test - bit.ly/460QXUp
• Own Your Past, Change Your Future - bit.ly/47q7Skm
• Questions for Humans Conversation Cards - bit.ly/472lIKd
• John's Free Guided Meditation - bit.ly/3MAGpEV
Twitter (@johndelony)
Instagram (@johndelony)
Facebook ( johndelony/)
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at www.betterhelp.com/delony and get on your way to being your best self.
The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel paralyzed, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well-and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.
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12 ноя 2023

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Комментарии : 246

@Bav92 8 месяцев назад

Why is it so hard to believe a woman doesn’t want to live with an alcoholic. It’s pretty clear cut. She had higher standards for her marriage that’s it.

@maam-yj8ph 8 месяцев назад

Any alcohol whatsoever would be a deal breaker for me. And it's because my entire family is water-totallers and I am a tea totaller. And I work in healthcare so I see the worst case scenario of alcoholism gone wrong all the time.

@lisabanks7742 8 месяцев назад

Came home from work early one day found my 3-yr-old son playing with water in the bathroom sink, while he was in the living room drinking with his buddy. That was my last straw. Called CPS on him several times for taking off with his son while intoxicated. The judge ordered him to attend AA class as part of his probation. Once he completed the program he went right back to where he was. I finally had it, took my son and moved on. It’s been 20 years now, every time I look back I realize it was the best decision I have ever made for my son and I.

@mnsohseven 8 месяцев назад

Similar to my story. I had to leave work early one night because he had our daughter and wasn’t answering the phone. I’d been trying to trust him-but there is no trusting an alcoholic. I raced home to find him blacked out and passed out on the floor while our two year old daughter toddled around the apartment all alone with a massively full diaper for who knows how long. Utterly disturbing. That was 11 years ago. Still haunts me, takes me back to that feeling of hopelessness.

@grilleFire 8 месяцев назад

Probably a better decision would have been to get the k ow your partner before procreation so he would have loving father. But next best decision I guess..

@andrewjackson9948 3 месяца назад

Would it be different if a toddler was getting into trouble while Dad wasnt drinking? Like geez

@clairemeanslight8627 8 месяцев назад

The first caller reminds me of my ex-husband. He always minimized how much he drank (he would drink whiskey in big cups). He drank right when he got home from work and I can tell instantly when he was intoxicated. He would handle our two girls while intoxicated and there were times they would get hurt out of him being irresponsible. He would make me out to be the bad guy every single time. He has driven with the girls in the car more than once. I had enough because he would not see himself for who he is. Still won't. I completely understand where his wife is coming from!

@abbyxiong3931 8 месяцев назад

So sorry you and your daughters had to go through that. Drinking in excess is a serious addiction. Glad that you all are safe now. 😢

@joaniehowan8321 3 месяца назад

He put those kids in a car drunk no 2 beers.

@cg741graf5 8 месяцев назад

This is mind blowing. Her child was hurt in his care when he was not supposed to be drinking and he not just drank but lied about it. Thank God the child wasn’t killed or maimed.

@abbyxiong3931 8 месяцев назад

He was irresponsible and not taking any accountability and then lies about his drinking problem. Guy should get some help and then work on his marriage.

@andrewjackson9948 3 месяца назад

Wait.. .kids get hurt all the time. This is a real problem. When kids get hurt while on moms watch its an accident. When kids get hurt on Dads watch, hes a monster who hurt her baby

@Our22qJourney 8 месяцев назад

Two beers is never just two beers.

@3roachkidsdhe 8 месяцев назад

Exactly

@amaniahmed5481 8 месяцев назад

As a healthcare worker, we always were told to triple the number of cups/beers/glasses reported by the patient. So 2x3 usually is interpreted as 6 beers

@slwin6363 3 месяца назад

@@amaniahmed5481 that's too bad for people who really do just have a drink or two. It's kind of assuming everyone is a hard-core drinker. 😂

@carollaw4507 8 месяцев назад

Don’t come for me y’all - As an alcoholic who has been in recovery and sober for 6+years… He told John and several occasions throughout the call…”it wasn’t the first time I lied to her about how much I drank…” … why wouldn’t he lie to John about how much he drank, too? All I’m saying y’all…I was a bullshitter too…and you can’t bullshit a bullshitter..

@katrina3560 8 месяцев назад

💯

@MisterNightfish 8 месяцев назад

He wasn't even good at bullshitting. And all that distancing/passive language ("It was decided...") isn't great either. People that talk like that don't take accountability.

@b.c.2836 8 месяцев назад

Also, you can't bullshit most non-bullshitters either

@chancepeace2064 8 месяцев назад

100%. And to be honest, it feels like this guy lies about anything and everything. He needs a miracle to change and save his marriage.

@hadenanderson563 8 месяцев назад

Hang in there. Easy does it.

@Westernkoala 8 месяцев назад

I can understand the wife on the first caller. The husband had probably put himself and his drinking above the family for a long time before the incident with his child. That was the breaking point.

@chancepeace2064 8 месяцев назад

👌

@none8726 8 месяцев назад

Eek the comments are turned off for the videos with his wife, just have been too bad

@AN-jw2oe 8 месяцев назад

John, we appreciated your talks with your wife, thank you! May I say, I don’t think your wife gives you enough credit for what you do for people! :) I was a bit sad to sense some bitterness and tension coming from her part in some of her side comments throughout the conversation-I am sensitive to those things, as a wife who also feels smarter than her husband. I hope she is able to get to a point where she more fully appreciates all the good that you bring to her and others, and is able to find her value and worth not in the World’s empty accolades but in her value in God’s eyes.

@slimjadeyyy 4 месяца назад

👏🏼 ❤

@mnsohseven 8 месяцев назад

John, as someone who was married to an alcoholic: it is extremely taxing. You feel alone most of the time. The drink becomes the third entity in your marriage; the drink becomes the other woman. Obviously you have not lived with an alcoholic before. Do you know anything about alcoholism and the damage it does to families? It’s not about the two beers.

@Bav92 8 месяцев назад

Yea his response was bewildering. How do you not understand she doesn’t want to be married to an alcoholic

@debbielockhart7762 8 месяцев назад

And mine is drunk every single day.

@cg741graf5 8 месяцев назад

Well said!

@rachelgooden9981 8 месяцев назад

Well said

@katiehansen7333 8 месяцев назад

I was going to say, I’m surprised by John’s response. I grew up with an alcoholic. Two beers with an alcoholic isn’t what two beers is to a regular person. It’s the constant seeing them drink and knowing what problems can/will unfold. I’m sure this first caller’s wife was so sick of him drinking, and to find out he had been drinking the day of his daughter’s accident was beyond disappointing.

@telsamace7211 8 месяцев назад

If he has been drinking overall way too much, especially at weekends and having weak railing (not fixed by him) with small children around with a very high drop onto concrete I would definitely after about 2 years of this give up! He is not taking much responsibility

@debbielockhart7762 8 месяцев назад

Not arguing with you, but she could also have done something about that railing. Women aren't helpless.

@christiansiler 8 месяцев назад

Yes, John might be focusing on the "missing piece" heavily, but ultimately i agree with him that something doesnt feel right. First red flag: ask any police officer (or first responder in general) "Of DUI arrests where the person has answered 'yes' theyve been drinking, how many did the say they had?" Ill bet you dollars to doughnuts right now they say "two [drinks]." "Two beers" is like Universal Alcoholic Code®️ for no less than a six pack💯

@3roachkidsdhe 8 месяцев назад

I know right! Anytime my husband says he only had two beers … yeah ok 😂 unviversal 😅

@debbielockhart7762 8 месяцев назад

My alcoholic husband will tell people he drinks "3 or 4 beers" a day. What he doesn't mention is that they are 8-9% alcohol beers (not normal beers) and it is at least twice as many as he's saying. And they are the bigger (500ml) cans, not regular ones. If you add up the alcohol content it is more than a 26oz bottle of hard liquor daily.

@hadenanderson563 8 месяцев назад

That's great. You lie about your stuff too. But you are better.

@christiansiler 8 месяцев назад

My guy Hayden, please believe it takes one to know one! Can't bullshit a bullshitter!

@thestorybehindthat5236 3 месяца назад

I was pulled over for a tail light years ago. They asked if I'd been drinking. I had 2 drinks 6 hours before. And told them that. And it was true. I offered to do a breathalyzer and I can't recall if they did that part, it was over a decade ago. But I do remember walking a line and doing there eye tests and was let go, I was fine.

@neededtobesaid4275 8 месяцев назад

I wish the guy who called in about drinking had called in with his wife. Either he's being deceptive about how much he drank/drinks or she checked out long ago and now has an excuse to end the marriage.

@876me7 8 месяцев назад

He basically said he’s an alcoholic and she dies t want to be married to an alcoholic. Why is that so hard to comprehend? It’s almost as if some of y’all are like oh alcoholism isn’t s out to make someone want to end a marriage, something else must be amiss. No. Being an addict is more than enough to warrant someone to not want to live and raise kids with you.

@neededtobesaid4275 8 месяцев назад

@@876me7 Maybe it's hard to comprehend because we listened to what he said and didn't interpret it as "I'm an alcoholic." You sound like you've had experience with this. Was it you, your spouse, mother, or father? Please tell us more.

@876me7 8 месяцев назад

@@neededtobesaid4275 He said he drinks often, he lies about his level of drinking, it has caused him to neglect his family (he's now lost his marriage) and neglect the upkeep of his home to the point where his daughter suffered an extreme fall due to him failing to fix something he knew needed fixing. If you do not recognize that as signs of alcoholism, something is wrong with you or you're just profoundly naïve.

@RealAnita926 8 месяцев назад

Why turn off the comments on the interviews with your wife?

@jenniferoneal3520 8 месяцев назад

I really like the well done videos, demonstrating each daily choices from Non Anxious life book.

@daisy3384 6 месяцев назад

Thank you Dr John and Dr Sheila for your candid interview! 💞 Loved the honesty of married life between 2 different individuals and how it's handled with acceptance, and the belief you can't change anyone. I shared the link with some loved ones who have the same tendencies of lateness and messiness, if anything, to let them know they're not alone and public figures can be the same.

@charcoaldove3195 8 месяцев назад

Do those of you watching this show not realize he was trying to extract more information from the first caller in an effort to give the best advice to a likely addict? He didn’t nonchalantly dismiss the alcohol use. Dr. Deloney is advising life altering decisions based on a 15 minute phone call, which I would imagine is extremely difficult to do with someone who isn’t providing the necessary details.

@thenerdymillennial 8 месяцев назад

He's definitely addicted to drinking... I recognize the language...my ex was an addict and it was heartbreaking to watch

@anyagee9467 8 месяцев назад

Hi John - just hire a cleaning lady - it will make a world of difference!

@deamon506 8 месяцев назад

First caller is telling you that for the last year and a half he’s been drinking too much and the situation that was the final straw was the fact that he had lied about drinking when his daughter fell, but you’re like hyper focused on something he’s not telling you even though when you put the situation in that context it makes sense. She obviously feels unsafe with his drinking whether he’s actually drinking a lot or not.

@lifeaccordingtotheo9643 8 месяцев назад

Addicts lie and this guy is sugarcoating. John doesnt believe him

@littlemissprickles 8 месяцев назад

I think this guy minimized his actions and did a good enough job to pull one over on Dr. D. You're right, he's been an absent husband and father, content to let life pass him by while he has essentially independently decided his drinking is "not a problem", so he hides it from his wife. Wife doesn't feel safe or supported or loved. Makes sense that she wants him gone.

@erikak128 8 месяцев назад

It makes sense to most people, yes. But I can tell you anyone who has ever dealt with an alcoholic can tell he's picking and choosing his words to sound honest and to minimize the situation. You don't stop being an alcoholic just because you stop drinking and she knows that. He can't even explain why drinking became a problem and he excused it by saying it was because his kids were born. There's a lot of work that he still needs to do, starting with being honest with himself. I don't blame her for wanting away from him temporarily or permanently.

@3roachkidsdhe 8 месяцев назад

He probably had more than two beers when he drove his daughter maybe not but experience with alcoholics tells me two beers is not two beers

@JScottAudio 8 месяцев назад

I've met people who would firmly believe having 2 beers means your a raging alcoholic. Their tolerance for alcohol is zero. Maybe the wife is having an affair....maybe she's decided after 2 kids that the marriage just "isn't working" for her and so she has selfishly decided it has to end so she can be "happy". Yup....a lot going on here.

@telsamace7211 8 месяцев назад

How can she trust him not to drink alcohol when he is meant to pick up the children by car by himself? He has such a poor track record and has lied so many times in the past.

@alleykeosheyan4779 8 месяцев назад

For caller #2, what John says at 30:14 IMO is the very heart of the matter: your parents are "embarrassed to tell their friends at the country club" that their son-in-law is an entertainer! They'd rather introduce him as a law student, engineer, doctor, corporate executive, etc., etc. Their insecurity is driving their actions, not a genuine concern for your well-being and happiness.

@aelh123 8 месяцев назад

Facts ! I have an only son , I wouldn’t care what he or his spouse would choose to do, as long as they are realistic and responsible 🤍

@JmGmail 5 месяцев назад

She said parents were not rich struggled with money.

@JmGmail 5 месяцев назад

Why demonize parents worried about daughters future?

@May-qb3vx 8 месяцев назад

I think a lot of these relationship calls can be explained via attachment theory. I’d love to hear the Delony breakdown of attachment. I’m an avoidant wanting to get better at intimacy. Would definitely be a good take since Delony is actually a realistic person

@bkind2me08501 Месяц назад

One of my favorite episodes

@redbarnhomestead7384 8 месяцев назад

Second caller. His career choice is a hobby. If you marry him, make sure you have financial security BEFORE getting pregnant.

@aelh123 8 месяцев назад

You can make a Hobby in to a nice side business or career. He just needs to be realistic and set goals as John said

@marijaabromaityte9951 8 месяцев назад

Why is the banter so short sometimes? One of the best parts of the show!!😅👏

@mirandap3522 3 дня назад

To the second caller, just tell your parents you're at almost a six figure income in your relationship first year out, with him pulling in more of that than you, AND YOU've already seen where and how he is a great supportive psrtner for you who also has differences that complement your personality. He has a solid busineas plan, youxve had great adult conversations abiut your future together that you dont feel yhe need to share with them, because honestly, they dont get a vote. You're an adult, and you have a great foundation for a grrat relationship. So tell them to tell people he runs his own entertainment business that has been successful in supporting your current lifestyle from year one, andnif they cant be on board it will break you're heart, but this and he is what you choose. Good luck girl!! I'm so excited for your life with your soon-to-be-husband. I hear you're in yhis, and i commend you for sticking to it and being a strong, loyal partner.

@teriwade3504 8 месяцев назад

I can't believe John didn't see this man as an alcoholic. If he did, his council would have been different. The "missing piece" is alcoholism. Alcoholism is the elephant in the room. Nothing is wrong with the wife. I was married to an alcoholic. Before undergoing marriage counseling, the alcoholic needs to pursue sobriety and the wife needs to attend Al Anon. I decided to leave my ex, unfortunately, because my ex wasn't willing to go to rehab and his counselor stopped counseling because he wasn't willing to stop drinking. He was attending AA and had a sponsor but he still was drinking. Pleased to say my ex is sober and has gotten his life together. Unfortunately, we are divorced, but we are amiable, and I am thankful for this. We have two daughters who we love dearly.

@carmennemura6138 3 месяца назад

I agree with Dr Deloney on the first caller. He is not telling the whole truth, women with children don’t walk away just for lying, it has been a constant problem that she doesn’t feel like her children are safe with him unless she is around. If he wasnt drinking their child will have not gotten hurt? Then there is the you get sick and tired of literally having a partner that is disconnected and she is doing all the work. Why stay married if is less work to be alone? She is doing the right decision.

@kristinaolson77 8 месяцев назад

12 feet and that's it? You're blessed

@racheldelauder1366 3 месяца назад

My parents did the same thing to me. Gave their blessing then withdrew it. They demanded we go to counseling with their pastor which we were happy to do. The pastor said I dont see any reason you shouldn't get married. They were unpleasant preparing for the wedding, and after the wedding barely spoke to my husband for the first 2 years. The marriage turned out to have a lot of issues. He was a hard worker but struggled to stick with a job. He kept creating new biz that resulted in years of poverty and eventually 2 bankruptcy. Fast forward 23 years and infidelity broke the marriage after I'd stuck it out so long. 3 amazing children and when I told my parents the marriage was over they said, "We told you so."

@owengerd 8 месяцев назад

The title could’ve been for Delony himself. Come on man, you deserve better that dry, crusty, disconnected, egotistical “situation.” We love you man. Feel for ya.

@normantheforeman9866 8 месяцев назад

I’d be disappointed if my daughter married a magician/juggler too

@tfernandez6806 8 месяцев назад

I bet she’s financially dependent on her parents. She needs to show them she’s successfully launched and she fooling around working “a couple of different “ things saying it while giggling. Take a breath and just wait for awhile until you and your fiancé are more mature and independent. At that point you will be more secure in your own decisions and trust yourself

@marysaltlife1427 8 месяцев назад

I agree, Norman. Sometimes we need to suck it up and find a career. Then in our FREE time, dedicate ourselves to our passions and hobbies. Passions and hobbies usually do not put enough food on the table and/or pay the bills.

@Tionaintown876 8 месяцев назад

@@thebeegood1731It’s not about the 50k. Is that scalable? And by that I mean when is he ever going to get to 100k? A career has growth opportunities, benefits and security. Bro is just doing a couple of gigs u til he can’t anymore. Is he gonna be juggling at 50?

@bffoxjr 8 месяцев назад

Depends on how much he's making and how responsible he is elsewhere in life. I bet nobody would be embarrassed to marry a magician who has a Vegas residency.

@hadenanderson563 8 месяцев назад

Sorta like everyone thinks you're lame.

@shehnazahmad5213 8 месяцев назад

I love Dr Delone input and I agree with him. But, I must say here. I don't know why I didn't expect his reply. His input. I just felt that he was almost not trusting the wife. Nobody is force to stay with an alcoholic. We not REHAB FOR BAD ADULT MAN. We want a men. Not a child.

@hellejrgensen9319 3 месяца назад

I chose to be a single mom long before I had a baby and it was the best choice I ever made and my child had a good childhood so I'm happy😊

@karinaTsm 8 месяцев назад

I think what the first caller is saying makes total sense, I’m not sure why your saying there is more to the story. He gets really drunk every weekend and then their daughter got hurt under his supervision and then on top of that he lied and said he didn’t have any. What’s more to the story?

@debbielockhart7762 8 месяцев назад

He's minimizing. Probably had a lot more than he's saying. I live with an alcoholic. I know.

@karinaTsm 8 месяцев назад

@@debbielockhart7762 yes he most definitely might have. But I feel like even having two beers is enough for her to snap especially if he lied and said he didn’t have any. I also don’t believe whenever anyone in their life says I had two beers. It’s never two it’s always more like 6

@redbarnhomestead7384 8 месяцев назад

He may not realize how he actually acts when drunk.

@fandoms5ever 8 месяцев назад

Those of you criticizing dr John for his reaction to the first call. What is he supposed to do? Tell this guy to give up? Of course it’s understandable that his wife doesn’t want to be with an alcoholic. But dr John is giving him the advice that will give him the best chance of making his family whole again. It might be too late of course. I’m sure the advice he would give his wife would be different. He’s just trying to help this guy.

@monaperry2635 8 месяцев назад

He is admitting to his issue of alcoholism. He needs recovery before reconciliation. Evasive, avoidance and down playing are typical behaviors.....she has put up a boundary.

@susieq8008 8 месяцев назад

Ummm..its always just" 2 drinks Occifer". You dont get stumbling drunk by having just 2 beers. I grew up around alcoholics and it is soul destroying. He should go to AA meetings. As for the Jesus Juggler, can he help you financially, help pay bills, have an end goal to a career, emotionally stand by you, does he live on children's donations with no other plan ? I agree with your parents to put off this engagement until he can plan a future with you. John missed this by a mile. Her parents already see him mooching off her, and they want a better life for their daughter.

@NauticalPhasmid 8 месяцев назад

She said he is making more money than she is, what makes you think he's mooching off her?

@apetebiorula_kittie 6 месяцев назад

Left my husband the Monday after Thanksgiving … due to the lying, drinking, rage, misery and my children and I walking on eggshells … he started therapy, again, AA, again, but I’m still not convinced … as the called was saying minimizing his drinking I could only think he sounded like my husband

@ChaiLatte13 8 месяцев назад

That first caller was full of crap. I don't understand why Christian women are told to stay with these men. There's no way in hell I'd stay with an alcoholic. It isn't worth it.

@amiramahgoub 8 месяцев назад

Traditionally I didn't like the idea of marriages and definitely there's disagreement when it comes to my parents. Separations and divorces is number one on he list as a family. There were no successful marriages that I remembered during the time I was home. My sister wasn't happy with her husband and the other sister stayed single and she was picky and has her own opinions. I fell into the same fault . twice divorced and afraid to make another one just bec of this family drama. My firs marriage it was fancy and expensive.. Cost money time and energy. The second marriage it was only me and him and I was confident that I do not need to waist His money or time! Yet both marriages didn't last for long time and I hadn't enough time or other choices to stay with Him 🚩⛔

@AllenB-mz5vl 8 месяцев назад

Why would she be scared, if he never did anything?

@user-sl8zl2ic8k 8 месяцев назад

I’m petite and I rarely drink- and if I do drink, two beers don’t even phase me so something the caller is saying doesn’t add up

@debbielockhart7762 8 месяцев назад

Try having 2 of the tall can 9% beers that my husband drunks and see if that phases you. Caller didn't say the alcohol content of what beers he's drinking, and also anything an alcoholic says can usually be doubled if not tripled. They speak in bullshit.

@hadenanderson563 8 месяцев назад

Congratulations. You are stunning and brave and amazing.

@mrstud559 8 месяцев назад

I'm very surprised and this episode that Dr John deloney is not seen the issue clear cut from the caller. The color is very honest about his issues he's telling about what he's going through and yet John is still trying to see more than what he's already been saying. Somebody who is an alcoholic to deal with

@Nature-ep5cu 8 месяцев назад

Take your own advice that you give people.

@aelh123 8 месяцев назад

7:57 JOHN WTH… “you didn’t hit any body, didn’t cuss, didn’t cheat and she just said I’m out” I’ve heard Jon talk before about how alcoholics are never present… is he seriously acting like he doesn’t understand why the wife left ?

@Mrs.LadeyBug 8 месяцев назад

No… he’s calling out the guy on his BS. The guy is lying, and Dr. John can see that clearly. He’s trying to get the guy to own up, but he never does.

@SideShowSpecialties 8 месяцев назад

@Mrs.LadeyBug the guy isn't lieing. His wife is just done. I was this guy at one time. Gave my ex wife 2 great sober years at the end doing everything she asked for. And then she bounced.

@debbielockhart7762 8 месяцев назад

@umbrobryan In my experience, all alcoholics (and addicts in general) lie. He's lying for sure. Any time they say how much they were drinking you can pretty much double or triple it. And they lie to themselves most of all.

@kellyturner4571 8 месяцев назад

John it’s not unreasonable for a partner to NOT want to be with an alcoholic despite her not being hit or swore at. He didn’t fix the railing his daughter fell through because he was more concerned with drinking than maintaining the house which he admitted to. Drinking to excess can absolutely be a deal breaker even with the absence of “abuse.”

@annwood6812 3 месяца назад

He said it was his job to fix the railing. He's responsible for watching the kid on the deck and he let the kid fall through. The guys drinks too much. Not a head scratcher.

@daniellejarus6747 8 месяцев назад

Honestly, I think it had to do with the fact that he didn’t fix the rail after multiple times of her asking him to fix the rail and then when his daughter fell off, of course she’s gonna be pissed

@tinam761 8 месяцев назад

It’s probably not just that rail … but EVERYTHING she asks him and he didn’t do. She probably started to think … I’m doing in my own anyway, at least I can do it alone and not deal with the BS.

@hansonallie 8 месяцев назад

Hmm… not sure I’m seeing the overwhelming love emanating from her parent. Not sure where he’s picking up on that 🤔

@user-fy6cq7se9n 8 месяцев назад

The first caller failed to protect his child, I don’t blame the wife for not feeling safe around him. The second caller: idk it’s up to her who she marries, but all I’m gonna say is things change once children come into the picture. She might always have to hussle to make ends meet. It’s not easy working full time and raising children. But also maybe he is a good team player🤷🏽‍♀️. I wish I had listened to my mother before choosing my partner, she warned me he was lazy and Yeap she was right. 😂

@joannawert3095 8 месяцев назад

Our daughter thought we didn't get a vote, either. She divorced within three years.

@AndiAlexander1 8 месяцев назад

Maybe if she had the support of her family they could have worked it out?

@proud2bejcan 8 месяцев назад

My mother disliked my boyfriend at the time. She was right.

@glitterstarbeau 8 месяцев назад

Sounds like someone "told you so". Not a great look for a parent

@joannawert3095 8 месяцев назад

There were many others besides us who were warning her.

@joannawert3095 8 месяцев назад

Her ex is presently incarcerated for sexual misconduct.@@AndiAlexander1

@MisterNightfish 8 месяцев назад

I'd be a lot more on board with all the "Jesus Juggler" hate if he didn't bring home 50k per year. And let's be real, it's not like her job sounds any better on paper but she also brings home 45k. So what's the problem? Everybody is making good money and if he treats her well and she treats him well, they'd be stupid to throw that away just so mom and pops can tell the Joneses that their little baby girl married a doctor or a lawyer.

@SB_McCollum 8 месяцев назад

That 50K is now 35K accounting for inflation, what's his plan for next year? Become a comedian who juggles on the clean comedy tour? Unless she's got her own income that she intends to remain at all thru the marriage, then I think she's just dreaming that he's Mr. Right, because, hey, he makes her laugh n'all. Oh, wait, what else was on that list that her parents observed? Sometimes John does some real coaching work, sometimes he spots the problem but can't discuss it because this is a podcast and he can't ask those questions here. I think this one is the latter, the format has its limits. I hope she takes her parents' concerns seriously and comes to her own conclusions, because once she marries, his problems are ALL her problems, too.

@probablynot1368 8 месяцев назад

I wonder how long he’s been working at, or building, his career as a ‘Jesus Juggler’. What is his short-term, and long-term goals? I’m glad that John discussed a business plan and what his future might look like. Perhaps he’ll become a motivational speaker, standup comedian, etc. He’s making $50,000 this year, but how many hours did he work to earn this money, and how much was used for his traveling and lodging expenses? She’s spreading her time among a few businesses herself. This young couple seem to be very creative and hard-working, yet I get the feeling that they’re a bit distracted with being a Jack (and Jill) of all trades, but a master of none. It works out when you’re young, have no children, and keep your responsibilities very simple; however, the addition of children will most certainly change this dynamic. Perhaps her parents are looking 5 to 10 years into the future and are a bit unsettled with their daughter having to take on more and more responsibility that may be too much for her to handle.

@glitterstarbeau 8 месяцев назад

I would totally marry a juggler. I'm married to a youtuber. It's fine. He makes a little money, I make a lot of money.

@jamyengland8895 8 месяцев назад

I am in recovery for Alcohol and i believe he is NOT given a the full picture. I almost loss my married because of my addictions. It is work from both parties. Please get into a AA (12 step 12 step. We had to rebuild our relationship. She could go to 12 step program for the non-alcoholic. Praying for you and your family

@DevHazy 8 месяцев назад

I’m the wife of an alcoholic. 2 beers is always a lie

@frankirwin5684 8 месяцев назад

If Lily is going to stay with that dude than she has to have his back or it’s 💯 going to fail. The parents may be right they may be wrong but it’s irrelevant on her choice.

@TCOSTA96 8 месяцев назад

People are struggling with John’s reaction to caller 1. I think he knows that the caller is not being truthful on the call, because honestly two beers is crazy to divorce a man over. He obviously has done something before that hit her breaking point.

@tomnohmy1273 8 месяцев назад

I'm an experts expert and I make it known to big J often

@janetr5929 8 месяцев назад

The girl needs to listen to her parents. He doesn’t sound like a good long term partner.

@Mysterious_Moon 8 месяцев назад

That’s terrible blanket advice with no context, based off your judgement. She should learn to listen to herself. She sounds scared of her parents, like she’s never told them no or disagreed with them, and should think about why that is.

@barbarathomas2471 8 месяцев назад

What is so hard about this? She doesn’t want to live with an alcoholic.

@user-fi4gd6ev4s 8 месяцев назад

I feel bad for the first caller. I know they could make this work and the kids would be so much better off in the long run. This is why I am afraid to get married. Marriage is not forever in 2023, and nobody wants to stay through the hard times anymore for the kids. Divorce is celebrated in 2023 amongst women. You will see from all the comments below.

@CrystalM1917 8 месяцев назад

Don't be an alcoholic that lies repeatedly that llet's his kid get hurt??? Guess it's too much to ask for, huh?

@user-fi4gd6ev4s 8 месяцев назад

@@CrystalM1917 Yeah you missed the point. The point is that men will deal with these type of issues from their significant other and avoid divorce FOR THE BEST OUTCOME OF THEIR CHILDREN, however women are quick to jump ship. Women initiate divorce at 80% of the time. 90% if she is college educated.

@stephaniec5215 8 месяцев назад

Can (not a typo) believe that John minimizes ‘just 2 beers’ and then tells the guy to go to AA EVERY DAY. Disaster.

@JmGmail 5 месяцев назад

Parents don’t have skin in the game when their daughter is marrying?

@instahamx684 8 месяцев назад

She is sick and tired of trying to keep the children alive with a drunk and neglectful liar “helping her” raise them. What is so hard to understand about this call that John is so perplexed by why this man is getting dumped?

@lmg4293 Месяц назад

What part of him drinking every weekend does John not understand? Geez

@williamyoste2812 3 месяца назад

I’m sorry, butt crack jokes are funny!!!

@YorBarkin 7 месяцев назад

is wife cheating and needing space for the wild parts?? this is insane..... or he gets stupid drunk on the weekends but will not admit it to the world........

@critical-political 6 месяцев назад

To the first caller, your wife is a liar. Something more is going on

@CoffeeSA96 8 месяцев назад

After seeing the last interview, john is the last guy who should give marriage advice

@oWMatt 8 месяцев назад

Why?

@cashway0420 8 месяцев назад

they turned off the comments for the episode with his wife. Interesting....

@susieq8008 8 месяцев назад

His wife looks much older than John...he did a LOT of nervous laughter.

@meganergle8665 8 месяцев назад

What's the story with the last episode? I wanted to read the comments but they're all turned off.

@thebigredfish 8 месяцев назад

@@meganergle8665 people were calling out their toxic dynamic, and Ramsey folks shut the comments down.

@debbielockhart7762 8 месяцев назад

Alcoholic giy isn't being totally honest (even with himself). But his wife is also lying. She's done with him. Not sure why she's pussyfooting around about it.

@lav7161 8 месяцев назад

Wait, what's up with all the John Wife hate? Did I miss something? Saw the whole episode and seemed like a normal conversation.

@flashthecorgi2053 8 месяцев назад

Exactly! Just an honest and transparent conversation! People are just judgmental and RUDE!

@blueseptember2174 8 месяцев назад

It was normal. They just were expecting someone different and couldn't handle it. They gotta learn to deal with different personalities.

@mystiquevening 8 месяцев назад

The only thing I wish the team had done was set up better questions for her.

@flashthecorgi2053 8 месяцев назад

@@mystiquevening We all think that. John and Sheila were set up to have an odd dynamic because it was all about John’s faults. You can see an entirely different dynamic if you watch his book launch party live where they were kissing, holding hands, hugging, laughing, and she told him she was so proud of him!

@Dansyoung 8 месяцев назад

It’s been an interesting case study for me and a couple family members. I experienced a relationship with a covert narcissist and it triggered me listening to the episode. I showed a couple people and they can’t see it. Fascinating.

@MrJcortez1 8 месяцев назад

The first caller- I don’t think it’s his drinking I think his wife just doesn’t want him anymore.

@drewdelaney4166 8 месяцев назад

Dude she’s messing around on you behind your back. He’s sounds like a good guy who’s made mistakes but trying hard to work his way back and her acting like this doesn’t add up

@JmGmail 5 месяцев назад

Parents of the girl are not rich.

@myat.4509 8 месяцев назад

What’s the point of listening to a caller if you don’t believe them? Deloney being super skeptical was not it.

@kirox34 8 месяцев назад

The guy is an alcoholic. Addicts almost always minimize, rationalize, and justify what they’re doing. He’s hiding something. I’ve dealt with an addict for the last 12 years. I know how they operate and they are masters of denial.

@mimimonster 8 месяцев назад

Jesus juggler …. 😂😂😂 Love it! Granted her parents probably don’t want to end up needing to financially support them. Completely legitimate. $50K isn’t sustainable long term. It’s great a newly weds but if this isn’t scalable or there is a game plan for career growth, you can’t live on $50K with children if they want them. So better not be expecting to be a SAHM. There are significant financial risks but if she knows what they are… people are going to do what they’re going to do.

@blueseptember2174 8 месяцев назад

My family lives on it. Just don't have alot of extras and depends on where you live.

@sackettfamily4685 8 месяцев назад

We have 2 kids and I'm staying at home, with less than 50k. It's definitely tight but we're making it debt free

@melanieb2132 8 месяцев назад

Sounds like a great side gig. He needs to get health insurance and benefits from the M-F job. Jesus jugglers work on weekend's, which isn't great when you have kids in the picture

@glitterstarbeau 8 месяцев назад

@@melanieb2132you can get private insurance. I'm self employed. It's fine

@dabd8175 8 месяцев назад

John can your marriage be saved 😂😂😂

@kameronminyardrealtor 8 месяцев назад

He's going to have to mention the comments/how the majority of the audience felt and how terribly that went if he wants people to keep trusting his advice. That was awful and I think really put a cloud of doubt over some of the advice he's given.

@3roachkidsdhe 8 месяцев назад

I feel like even though his marriage might not be what we thought he still gives great advice. I wish he would follow it.

@flashthecorgi2053 8 месяцев назад

@@3roachkidsdheYou do know he says that his marriage is the best it’s ever been in this season. This interview was filmed back in September while he was doing extensive trauma counseling. John and Sheila are good people, i genuinely believe this!

@jdoe5835 8 месяцев назад

I just don’t want to be gaslighted about it. A lot of fans were genuinely disturbed

@MzVolcanicrox 8 месяцев назад

@kameronminyardrealtor yes, he has to address this. There is a cloud hanging over. The dissonance is making it difficult to watch

@MzVolcanicrox 8 месяцев назад

John, by turning off the comments on the interview with your wife, comes across as if you are ignoring us, your audience. That's not cool. I wish you addressed the matter instead

@CrystalM1917 8 месяцев назад

To be fair, he doesn't have to address anything, and he may be honoring his wife by NOT mentioning it further...you know the old "never complain, never explain" mantra that a lot of public figures live by... and don't get me wrong, I was definitely among the camp who found it uncomfortable to say the least, but i don't feel like he'd be wrong for not saying anything about it ever again. Their marriage is ultimately their own business even after letting us in a bit.

@_____tbrdgrl____3449 8 месяцев назад

Yet they made their own private marriage business public "on the Internetz forever.” Dr. John appears to have had altruistic motives for the interview. As for Sheila's motives, I rely on her own words. When comparing herself to Dr. John and speaking about her own upcoming book, she said, "It's hard to be an indie author [...], and I do ALL my own marketing, which is the only reason I agreed to be on your podcast." Plus, Dr. John gave a plug to her coaching business at the beginning of the episode, and made certain to tout her as the original Dr. Delony, with him just following along later in her footsteps. Dr. John was not at all self-aggrandizing. It seems he thought the interview would truly help those who live with people who have ADHD. It also seems that Dr. John does not see the numerous red flags given off by his wife. If Dr. John cannot see what is going on in his own relationship with Sheila, how can fans trust his discernment regarding situations of callers, listeners, and readers of his books who need help.

@CrowTRobot618 8 месяцев назад

@_____tbrdgrl____3449 I think the comment about marketing herself was off-putting for sure. I was stunned when she said the one thing she wants his listeners to know is he's not as good as everyone thinks he is.. Not that he worked super hard to overcome deficits to achieve his books or other accomplishments, not what kind of man he is, nor anything positive. Above everything she wants to knock him down a peg or two on a public forum. Very odd to say the least.

@CrystalM1917 8 месяцев назад

@@_____tbrdgrl____3449 I agree.

@CrystalM1917 8 месяцев назад

@@CrowTRobot618 I agree, it was very off-putting and honestly disheartening as a listener, let alone being on the receiving end of it...

@pylchott9864 8 месяцев назад

Always so sanctimonious and mighty towards other men, yet you cannot sweep around your own front door. Tu devrais avoir honte, mais vu que tu as désactivé les commentaires sur la vidéo précédente, je peux supposer que c'est évidemment le cas.

@NerdyGirlLiveLove 8 месяцев назад

Learn what scrolling past means.

@AndiAlexander1 8 месяцев назад

Dr Deloney, could you just take a breath and exhale a tiny bit before you speak? The constant shouting is JUST SO MUCH and I don’t even have anxiety. Maybe if I keep listening to your show I can fix that.

@tomnohmy1273 8 месяцев назад

I wonder if she has someone else. I feel bad for him, seems like a good dude whose imperfect like most people

@erikak128 8 месяцев назад

He doesn't have to be perfect to be a man who chooses his relationship with his wife and the safety of his children over his drinking. The minimizing of everything throughout the call "just a small fracture on her jaw, pretty much stay away from hard candy for a while" His 5 year old child fell 12 FEET onto concrete! Good for the wife for asking him to leave, he's lucky it didn't end they way it could have. Hopefully the hospital took a report, this man is not a fit parent.

@tomnohmy1273 8 месяцев назад

@@erikak128 agree with u. So u know. I'm the OG of____

@cashway0420 8 месяцев назад

wow they turned off the comments on the episode his wife was on... Sheila must've been mad she got exposed lol. Listen to this comments John she's dragging you down bro, life too short for that treatment from your wife.

@meganergle8665 8 месяцев назад

What did she get exposed for? Just curious as I'm out of the loop.

@JoyceAnnW4 8 месяцев назад

How is she dragging him down? He said that she has helped him in so many ways.

@tacooflove6175 8 месяцев назад

@@JoyceAnnW4I have no idea what he saw but what I saw was two messy people making life work and still live a happy life together.

@cashway0420 8 месяцев назад

@@tacooflove6175 she literally complained about him for an hour straight, and talked about how jealous she was of his fans with a frown on her face the whole time...if that's your idea of happy then I feel bad for you.

@simplygina7703 8 месяцев назад

I can’t believe she made fun of his skincare routine after he’s stated multiple times that was one of his biggest insecurities. Maybe if she had a skincare routine she’d look younger…

@hadenanderson563 8 месяцев назад

Whaa whaa! Yawn.

@rchi3906 8 месяцев назад

Gents , don’t ever let your wife tell u “ I think u should rent an apt “ , enough is enough with these narcissist , in sickness and in health , that ho wants out, then bounce , Ill stay with girls , the audacity

@proud2bejcan 8 месяцев назад

He’s a drunk who didn’t watch his 5 year old who fell 12 feet and miraculously only had a jaw fracture. He loves the liquor more than the children. She loves her kids and doesn’t love him anymore. Getting an apartment is reasonable. He tormented her with his drunkenness for 2 years.

@glitterstarbeau 8 месяцев назад

You're weird

@diggernash1 8 месяцев назад

If your name is on the mortgage, never leave the house! Make her leave. And I don't understand why all the work is on him. She needs to be working as hard as him or he needs to get the divorce completed. Never go on a one-sided chase, it isn't worth the effort.

@glitterstarbeau 8 месяцев назад

I would do a lot to not see my kids half (or less) of the time