If Your Ex Moved On and Crushed You Completely, THIS Is How You Heal 

I’m watching this while crying in the coffee shop, I’m fighting this at the moment.

What it has always shocked me is after spending years together, sharing lots of wonderful things, they can abandon you all of a sudden, finding someone else in a month and simply acting as though they've never met you. The level of coldness and lack of empathy has actually traumatized me.

Think of it as the quote, "If your absence doesn't bother them, your presence never meant nothing to them".

It gets better , it really does. The pain fades and new love emerges from within. Sending everyone Love ❤

Indeed. Don’t let someone who isn’t worth your love make you forget how much you are worth.

I’m so sad that there are so many of us that needed to hear this. We got this everyone I know we will be ok!!

" If you're the one she doesn't want , then be the one she doesn't have. Because massive success is the biggest Revenge. "

If they move on too fast. They were emotionally out of the relationship. And just there physically. Don’t ignore the signs. His or her behavior is the answer.

She left me 3 days ago. I haven’t felt so shattered in my life. I saw a future, she saw incompatibility. I simply don’t understand. Life feels so dark and lonely. I hope you guys are all okay. We will get through this.

I‘m tired of always having to be strong. I want life to be easy just for once please.

If they "moved on" really quickly they were probably cheating on you, so good riddance.

Just another perspective for everyone to consider. I’m a portrait photographer and I used to photograph both weddings and families. My work has been both nationally and internationally published. A particular image comes to mind. A bride and groom on their wedding day. The image of a true life fairy-tale romance. They both looked like models. Like royalty. Deeply in love with each other. The image was published in a magazine. Anybody could have picked it up at Barnes and Noble and stared at it, wishing they had that. And do you know what I remember when I look at that photo now? That I manipulated them into the pose I wanted, expression included. And that the groom was extremely cranky and over it. And wanted to know when he could stop having his photo taken and go smoke a cigarette. And in front of me, the bride used some *very* strong words to get him to pull it together. That’s what I remember. I saw the same thing with a family shoot. The photo could not paint a better picture of domesticity. And the couple fought right in front of me. I heard the husband call the wife a “psycho”. And I just stood there, awkwardly, waiting for them to calm down. My point is that yes, some couples are genuinely happy after leaving their previous relationships. And no, not everything is a facade. But be careful if you compare yourself to professionally taken engagement, wedding or family photos. In general, people are good at turning it on for the camera. So when a professional is directing them, forget about it. Even with photojournalistic images, we throw plenty out and keep a selected few to tell a story. A story that we have the power to manipulate a bit. I had my heart absolutely shattered 3.5 years ago. I’ve never fully recovered. And I’m somewhat convinced that I’ll never find anybody now that I’m 40. I recently saw on social media that my ex and his new bf have gone to Disney World several times. And it triggered me. Disney was always my thing. He proposed to me just outside of Disney. The flash mob proposal video went viral. We looked…”perfect”. It’s easy to envy them. Then I remember. He proposed to me in Disney because I loved Disney. He hated it. When I suggested we grab wedding brochures while at Disney, he was like, “why would we want to get married on the Disney property?” At the airport a couple of days later, he picked a fight with me. And as we flew home in first class…newly engaged…Diamond on my finger…we flew home, in complete silence. Moral of the story: Be careful what you’re jealous of-it might be a facade. And for every good thing you miss about them, think of three things you couldn’t stand about them. The more you do that…the more you realize that their new person is now the likely recipient of all that…the more you’ll realize that you quite possibly dodged a bullet.

Anyone currently going through this, please be gentle and kind with yourself in your thoughts and actions...this is when you need love and kindness to self the most. Do not make this mean anything about you!

Here's what helped me within 6-8 weeks: - hitting a gym - starting a new hobby - going on solo trips and creating new memories - when mental pain hit i picked up my dumbbels and smashed it out - started dating and literally got my male energy back (6 dates within 3 months, all ok, ultimately did not lead anywhere because i was not searching for attachment or commitment) fight the fight, move on, live life to the fullest

It’s taken me 2 years to heal from the same type of situation. I watched him give another girl everything I had to practically beg for. I thought he wasn’t good at love, but turns out.. he’s an Olympic swimmer at love. Just not for me. I wanted to move on like he did, but I couldn’t. I decided that me loving people doesn’t mean they have to love me back, and as much as I was giving love I wasn’t giving it to myself and I think that important, because you wouldn’t put up with anything subpar #Humbled

My ex broke up with me 9months ago. We had been together for a little over a year. He never posted anything about me on social media, which didn’t bother me at the time. About 6 weeks after our breakup he was already in another relationship and posting about her all the time everywhere. He would put up captions saying “thanks for putting up with me” lol wish I would’ve gotten that since I did put up with him 😂 honestly it hurt to see him seemingly love someone the way I wanted him to love me. But it also helped me to move on and truly focus on healing. Now 9 months post breakup he’s refollowed me on social media and has liked all my posts… it seems he’s trying to come back while still in his current relationship. A few months ago I would have eaten that up, but now I’m seeing him in a different light and I know I don’t want him back. Thanks Matt for your encouraging videos… it’s helped me so much! Much love to you and yours ❤

My heart hurts so bad!!! Two weeks out and I’m like a walking zombie ready to burst into tears at any moment. I work in a very social situation and I’m struggling minute to minute to act normal.

Most People seem to be in a constant repeat of childhood trauma. Unhealthy attachment to parents.

Still healing from the biggest betrayal of my life a little over a year ago and this is exactly what I felt and I decided to focus in my inner healing and stayed single to this day and now I can say that everything was a blessing in disguise… I can honestly say I am now thankful it happened because I was able to understand and believe my true worth… he is with someone else but know we were definitely not at the same level and understand I had to heal many things within me … I am so very proud of myself for the way I have pulled myself up from everything that has tried to destroy me … don’t ever give up on yourself!

I went through a betrayal this year and Matt thanks to u ,i am single,working out,giving my career time and being the best version of myself that i can!

It's the lack of empathy and the coldness that i still can't understand. I stood by her, nursed her when she was sick, forgave her for her lack of effort, i wasn't the best but i was always in her corner. 3 months later when i thought i had moved on it hit me like a tone of bricks finding out that she's engaged. How does one make sense of this?

I can get over a break up...what I never understood the need to completely destroy someone on the way out. You have to be a cold, cold, heartless motherf**ker to do that; don't expect that person to welcome you back. She showed who she really is.. believe her.

Worst part about losing your loved ones, is that they are your comfort. Now that they are gone, it feels as if nothing can comfort you, except your ex - and they have no responsibility to do so and they shouldn't.

Thank you for this I’m standing at the park right now crying going through a divorce after 30 years

Those kinds of individuals who leave someone because of a new exciting chase for another person, I promise you, these people will never be happy. It'll be the same script over and over, of getting used to the person, getting comfortable until everything becomes familiar, till then one day, they try to find someone new again.

Had a beautiful 3 year relationship. Someone else suddenly walked into his life and he cheated and then ended up leaving me for her a day later. It’s so hard to cope, especially when he was so loving and caring towards me up until the very moment he met her. Thank you for your words ❤️

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

Stop wondering why this happened and realize it was meant to be. I have said this times ands times that I am never tied to someone who leaves me. It’s just that their part in my story is over. I am writing a new one 🙂❤️

"we accept the love we think we deserve" - the perks of being a wallflower

Yrs ago i had a love so strong it changed my life. She broke my heart and moved on. I've had relationships since but my heart never really really has felt the same since. I'm only realising now I'm still dealing with the turmoil that past gave me. It's not just as easy as move on she doesn't care. I know my neuro spicy brain perceives and feels different to the average person. But one day my soul will be free from weight.

Ive been fighting this for 6 years. But ive not wasted my time. Ive done my therapy (for other things but also my self worth) and im doing some lone travelling. Ive realised its better to wait until someone comes along, who has their shit together. Ive spent too much time sipporting others. My last ex moved on within a month. Good luck to him...

As I am spending my last morning in our home of 13 years, to have this almost identical story and guidance shown to me at this movement gives me a sense that i am seen and the universe is watching. I am so tired of this fight and tired right down to my soul. I know my inner self is so angry at myself, I ignored him so long. I hope I will forgive myself. The journey begins today.

Just know that it's their loss and you cannot control anyone. I was cheated on and lied to by my husband of almost 20 years. Lost tons of weight took a year and a little bit more to get over it. I still have problems trusting because of someone who supposedly cares for you so much for so long to do this what makes me think that no one cant do this. This is a hard one to get over but I think I'm almost there. I fully intend to love with my whole heart I'm not gonna let his mistakes hold me back. He won't and can't destroy my good heart!

I’m 54, divorced, and was just in a 6-yr relationship with someone who is 57 and divorced. He told me last month, ON VACATION, that we grew apart, and shouldn’t see each other anymore. He told me that I should go home, after 3 days. We were absolutely perfect for each other. He constantly told me he loved me so much because I was so supportive and helped him become such a positive, courageous person. I’m still in shock. I still cry myself to sleep and awake crying after 4 weeks. He has broken my heart and devastated me. 💔.

Experienced heartbreak about 4 months ago. Takes time, effort, and energy to process the whole thing especially when you’d never expect they’d do such a thing and break up with you :( Thank you, Matthew

Thank you so much for talking about this! I went through something similar this year. My ex said that he couldn't think of being in a relationship in his life or anytime sooner. He pleaded to me saying that he had to focus on his work and he wanted to be alone. He cried to me saying that he couldn't put any effort in the relationship. He chose to be physically intimate with me even a day before the break up. I gave my all in those six months of the relationship. I missed to notice all the red flags and I celebrated him. He ended the relationship over a call. In two months, I found him with another girl that broke me completely. I felt deceived and used. When I was already running to hospitals, I started falling more sick. I lost focus on my work. So, I decided to take a break and I am working on myself now. I am spending more time with myself, my friends and my family. I am slowly trying to stop spending my energy on the anger I hold for him. It's working well. I see myself in a place where I can value myself better now.

May no one ever go through a heart break during pregnancy or sickness. 2024 will be a year of great and mightier things in love and every aspect of life❤

I experienced this about 2 years ago. I stuck with him through his hard times only for him to turn around and give his healed self to someone new. They did the travelling that we had planned. It was horrible, I was shattered and I went through hell. However, it taught me to made more self-reliant, nothing can hurt me anymore.

I spent years loving someone, to the best of my abilities. What hurts now is to unlove the same person after the breakup! Loving her was easier I think.

Oh my gosh, Matthew.. it is so validating to hear you speak how someone can suffer constantly from anxiety and pain in a relationship, not being able to tell anyone about it, just fighting with it alone daily.. that was my reality for almost a year and now he just abruptly broke our connection. Im devastated.

Love your videos Matthew. I have learned in past relationships no matter how much it hurts at the time, things always get better and a person comes along who can see your worth. If someone wants to leave never stop them. Wish them well and let the door close on them for ever. We can not make any one love us. They have to want to. I have had exes then try to come back later but never let them back. They had their chance.

If the incident he told was true, I have no reason to complain about my luck. My heartbreak is nothing compared to what the man must have felt. I'm grateful that I didn't have to face something that horrible. 7 Years. My God. Mine was 1.5 years and I went mad for a month. It took me tremendous energy to come back, and I'm still working on it. I still want her back. I pray to get her back. But I'm at a point where I know, that I can live without her and maybe find someone else some other day. Dating apps aren't made for men. It's like everything in the dating world is designed against men. But I will not give up on love. It will find me because I have been a sincere lover. Not all the time, but yes, I have tried really hard to be one.

In my first relationship it took him 4 months to move on and start a family and it took me 3 years to heal from the trauma. Then with my next partner it took him 2 months to move on and 6 months to marry her, and it took me 2 years to heal. Since then it’s been 4 years and I’ve been single and have no desire to date. I’ve found peace and love with myself 💗

To everyone reading these comments, just know that karma does exist. I've seen too many coincidences not to believe it. Trust me, one day someone will do to them what they did to you, and then they'll understand the pain they caused you. I've seen it happen. It will happen to everyone, even you, if you mistreated someone in the past. until your relationship karma is neutral and zeroed out,

I've been fighting this pain every single day since I decided to take a break from dating. I couldn't put my finger on it at all, and your analogy and words were on the money. I thought I was giving up on love but I decided and chose to not give up on me. That's the difference I wasn't seeing. I'm not tempted by things to fill my ego. I feel it in my heart, that all I want in the world is to heal. For the first time I'm doing it right.

My ex husband after 30 years left, wanting to be best friends. I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong. But after attending two years of therapy and attending narcissistic abuse and support groups I'm finally piecing years of gaslighting lying manipulation and making me feel like I was losing my mind I'm so angry. as he gets involved with some stupid woman within 3 months, I told her that he was a narc but she didn't get it. So my covert narcissist it's really slick and intelligent just loves to be so helpful to everybody except me. He actually got angry because I asked for spousal support you know I am handicapped after all. I just can't believe these vampires are out there in their bat caves. He gutted me emotionally being crushed to death which I almost killed myself because of the f head thank God my divorce is over with I'm growing and moving on

I met my wife 15 years ago, I was 21 years old, she was 19. We shared and did everything together, we have been in a relationship for 14 years and married for 5 years, our children are 2 and 4 years old. We often hung out with my best friend, whom I've known for 17 years. About one and a half months ago she told me that my friend and her had fallen in love. When I first heard this I honestly didn't want to live anymore. I couldn't think of our children, I just wanted to die. Still absolutely numb I now somehow try to move forward and focus on our two kids. Sometimes I'd like to fast forward my life to see where the hell this is going and how long the pain is going to stay. I'm still trying to cope with the situation.

I have lost someone i love. I dont hate her for not choosing me which makes the whole getting over her process hard and its not easy giving up that hope that tells you that somewhere down the road things may work out between us but it is necessary. So , right now im just trying to focus on loving myself, healing and improving myself and its not easy either but nothing good in life is easy to attain. It's a journey and i will find myself again but for now i do the work on myself and accept that this chapter of my life has ended.

Watching this, makes me think about how I spent 12 almost 13 years with someone I was thinking about marrying, after discovering she had been lying about the paternity of the three children I thought we had together. Opening those envelopes and seeing the results were the worse moments of my life, I felt like I had failed and couldn’t wrap my head around where things had gone wrong. I still have those thoughts to this day but I made the decision lately to see the good in each day and it’s getting easier to move forward.

Mathew, you’ve put out a thought that most of us have and struggle with unconsciously - and you put it forward so eloquently and kindly. The work you do really is remarkable and the sincerity always shines through in your videos. Thank you ♥️

Still healing. I was taught a lesson of a life time. Now focusing on developing myself. Just realising that I didn't do much because focused on her too much.

From start to finish, I have been through this all because of someone. Great lesson.

I’m going through this right now. He’s never sure about me since the beginning but I was keeping on hoping. Even though he’s a great guy and threat me respectfully, he told me he fears of missing out, that me might meet someone else better, that he didn’t always feel good around me. Luckily, it was over right now after we went back and forth so many times. Glad that I’m finally able to let him go and he has the balls to say what he wants. I’m appreciate your video a lot for putting an effort this video, Mathew. ❤

I was married 21 yrs. Found out he was having sex with men. He didn’t care about me , our kids, house. We were just a show for the outside world. He used us, abused us, blamed me for everything. My life was a lie. He moved in with another woman 4 months after we broke up.

I love this!! ❤😭 I also just want to take a quick min to appreciate Matthew's background (no furniture or tacky vases). To me (personally) it represents a clear mind and an open space with room for self honesty, safe for vulnerability. ❤ Great advice as always

This was amazing I love your videos.I’m actually living proof of everything you said!!! 10 months ago when he left I thought I was going to die, it physically hurt my heart and I was so mentally drained and today I’m in better shape than I ever was, working with a therapist reading way videos brought me through that tunnel to the light! I’m a better stronger me and I’m not young, just wish I had l this years ago! Anyone who’s just going through this I can tell you it 💯 gets better but you need to get motivated!!!! ❤

Matt, as a regular viewer I am sure more of your audience wants the how to deal with heartbreak related videos rather than the how to date successfully videos. This relates to a personal level, please make more videos on this topic. Finding happiness can be easy but getting over sadness can be tough. Thank you for such amazing videos

THANKYOU MATTHEW.going through this right now. I've retreated and focusing on my responsibility within what's missing within myself which gave rise to the break up. This video was so helpful and reinforced that I'm on the right track ❣

This video is applicable to all types of relationships, not just romantic. Thank you for being you, Matthew 😭

I am going through this now! It was extremely painful... What I did was embrace my pain and my need to grieve, accept that the relationship I was in was rejected, and try to take care of myself. Incompatibility or a change in his emotions or the fact that the way we evolved was not compatible, has nothing to do with me or my ego. Focusing on our Ego can make us jump to unnecessary and painful conclusions.

Thank you Matthew!!! You're an inspiration to new soul searching, re-building self esteem and getting ourselves through dark tunnels and into the light again!!! THANK YOU!!!

In the midst of “working things out” she became distant and then on my birthday she said she wanted time to “work on herself” I respected it. However a week later, after looking through our photos i went to look at her profile online and she had already been in another relationship the whole time we were “working things out”. She was living a double life like nothing happened.

Wow, I'm happy that I've watched this video Matt. I've been going through this and am sick of it but could not put a finger where all this is coming from and now I know it's my ego that kept sabotaging me from letting go. Now i know, thanks a lot.😊

Went trought that 4 months ago she suddenly left me and i could not see any red flags after 5yrs of relationship and with a daughter. Only after 1 month of wanting to break up i confronted her and she told she had feelings for someone else. She basically destroyed me and i went trought psychologjst coz i was having suicidal toughts. It was very very hard on me coz i truly loved her. Now im building myself up getting in shape and doing things i like with me and my daughter. I still love her to this day but having her back isnt an option, she betrayed me and lost all my respect. "They dont know me, son" and ill be rising up from this stronger than i ever been. Stay strong, time is the only cure.

This video hit home with me, Mathew. This all happened to me. In a relationship for 24 years and then suddenly discarded. Have done the work in the last 4 years and I have finally learned. This video is so very informative. I can’t thank enough for the video topic. So glad I have found your channel. Thanks

My God, your words tell of everything that feels so unspeakably heavy. But there is always this true compassion spoken in mindfulness and it touches me/us every time. Thank you for what vibrates in love 🙏❣️🧝‍♀️💫

Gosh! I needed to hear this. I didn’t think I needed more help here but this is so validating what I went thru these past 2 yrs. I’ve grown sooo much and now I know why. I had ego death. I was going thru exactly what you said. Everything… But now I’m happier than before and not needing a man to make me happy. Now to tackle the trust issues I have and not be scared of dating

The act of confidence is the key. Confidence is an action you choose to make.

"My ego is not my amigo" - BMTH 🤘 Thanks for this video, I really needed to hear this. 🤗 Just ended an almost 9y relationship with my first love, with one break of 6 months with no contact. We couldn't commit rn, we have different love languages and needs. I showed unconditional love by letting him go so we could heal ourselves. But I'm so scared I'm gonna see him giving everything I ever wanted and needed to someone else. 🥺

I now know the term of my feeling is called "ego death", and it's by far the worst, most horrific feeling I've ever felt in my life. It is literally hell, but now I'm going to focus on my own growth. Thanks, Matthew!

Matt, your videos helped me so much when I was going through a tough break-up a few months ago. And your advice is always so valuable and genuine. I really appreciate the work that you (and of course your team) do. THANK YOU!!!

Yet isn't it a blessing rather than a curse Knowing that person wasn't the correct one Then be glad and not sad about it.

I have been through a very similar experience. Something like that completely shatters you. We just have to remember that we always have to stand back up on our own feet and use this kind of trauma as a catalyst for change and growth. We do get better in time. What I found out though is that trust remains an issue. We can't trust others and ourselfs anymore. We emotionally shut down in a way in order to protect ourselfs. I am still working on that. Unfortunately I have no idea how to solve it.

I really needed to hear this message today. So very timely for me.

Wow. Amazing video. Actualy I've been in the same situation, I thought I was dying then but now I am happy being on the journey of selflove and confidence

Thank you for this. I left a verbally and emotionally abusive man that has borderline tendencies…likely narcissistic too. He’s moved on yet I’m struggling with it. I know it’s not me with the problem…he’s broken. He needs constant reassurance, validation, attention, admiration, etc, etc. I know I shouldn’t feel this way but it’s that gross trauma bond. I’m proud of myself for leaving. Standing strong against a man that pleaded with me, apologized endlessly after every fight yet NEVER changed. I needed these reminders that I’m not the broken one. That I will wait for the one that deserves me ❤

Good morning Matthew. Happy Sunday! So sad it giving up on this life became realistic.

I really really needed to hear this today! Currently recovering from a breakup of a 3.5 year long relationship. Time to slay the dragon within ❤ thank you for reminding me!

What's Matthew is saying is so true. It's in your worst moments that you can become stronger if you don't give up. I'm living this situation right now and i'm so pleased to find some peace in Matthew's words. Even if you know this, it's always a good reminder to hear it again and again, especially when you have no family nor friends around you. Thank you Matthew to help us. Hanna from France!

Damn! I want to go to this retreat it looks like the "happiest" times of some peoples lives, you are a great speaker & healer and thank you so much for what you are doing & how you are helping me, I tell people in my situation to listen to you as well.

Thank you! Your message here reinforces and motivates me to move on more and more everyday after a bad breakup 3 months ago.

I think this is a sign .because I started going back to those feelings

one of the best and very needed videos…keep watching it over and over again…made me cry too…very powerful

This video was so on point. Thank you. My ego was crushed but I won't be

Commitment is everything , its about trust and hopes. When people are selfish and eager enuff to sacrifice others then its time to let the Universe take action on what he/she did to u. GBU

My wife just walked out on me for another guy and moved straight into his house. I’m broken thank you for this video.

It's been more than three years I am still stuck in the memory loop, but this video helped me thanks. Pray for all the soldiers

Thanks Mat that was a very beautiful video it’s been almost five years and I’m so proud of my self and focused on me through this crazy journey that took me inward. Was very hard. It’s starting to pay off Namasta 🙏💕

Thank you and God bless you for this message 👑

Matty, thank you so much for this. This video is so timely for me. It's helped me pick myself back up today. Thank you!

Beautiful words. Brought me to tears. Thank you Matthew.

Actually the best video ive seen so far from you. Thanks @Matthew Hussey - Also I like that for once we talk about men a bit more, we too experience heartache and depression - and due to a lack of social support and emotional awareness, it actually can take way more time to move on from it than women + realizing that women have a lot of men stroking their ego constantly after a breakup is a daunting feeling. Anyway thanks

Never give 100% of yourself to a relationship. Keep your friends, family ties, hobbies and interests. You need to have a piece of yourself reserved in order to come back from something like this. Don’t let your identity be swallowed up into another person and their life or it will take you forever to recover from it.

This video has 130k views in 4 weeks. You're not alone, even though it definitely feels like it.

You are the Best 🙏❤️ Yes! Others don’t know what each and every thing we have been through…and it is a source of strength know we have pulled through in spite of any and all challenges! You have such wisdom - perhaps an old soul! Sage and wise advice! It is soo true!!! 🙏❤️

Higher spirits are horrified at how much unnecessary heartbreak is just everywhere. People treating others like they are disposable. It's not meant to be like this. Im way too damaged to probably ever be in a relationship again. It's too scary to think i could ever feel as bad as i did. 2.5 yrs later and it still making an impact.

Thank you for sharing this because I’m going through this right now.

I broke up with him only after he kept breaking Me. Many times. I want this pain to end. I can't stop crying. I just wanted peace with him.

• Yesterday was my birthday. She didn’t reach out to say even a simple “Happy Birthday” after 80 days of No Contact… For me that was too disrespectful, so I put the last nail in my coffin of hope and today I put my Viber in “Offline” mode, I went to the gym again for the first time after our breakup, and I let myself feel the gazes of other women for the first time since the day I met her.. I think it's time to move on, even though I still love her like crazy !!! Stay strong. Greetings from GREECE.

This is my favourite video of you! It's just beautiful. ❤