im so glad you included the undecided part. a lot of people feel undecided and make the decision of having kids to see how they feel but you cant go back from that. thank you for another great video bren!!
I can imagine myself being literally anything but a mother. People always tell me that I shouldn’t say that I don’t want kids bc that would make me less of a woman, and I wouldn’t fulfill my purpose in this world as a woman if I didn’t have kids. Even tho I’m accomplished (I’m a neurologist) this apparently means nothing if I didn’t have kids. 😑
really how toxic can people get is like they cant see women as humans as persons just machines for the benefit of others .and then they wonder how books like the handmaid's tale exist ps your profesion is goals thanks is just it inspires me to hear of accomplished women and in neurology but sorry for the english thought
I'm good with kids but I don't want any kids of my own. I'm 22 and I'm from India. I'm not remotely close to where I want to be in life and nothing comes easily in India. I will have to work alot to pay all the debt I owe and then save for myself as well. Then I will travel the world and donate for causes I believe in. This path is for me. Luckily I have really good friends who accept this and surprisingly quite a few more who don't want to have kids. Also I know it's harder for girls in society when they don't have kids compared to guys but I think we childfree and like minded people should make our own society.
@@triptirathore9027 Me too. Infact we should atleast create a community here through social media or something. It's comforting to see other Indians making the same choice.
47y/o here. My wife and I chose to not have kids. We had an unplanned pregnancy at 39. We seriously thought about changing plans and becoming parents last minute, but ultimately decided not to. I kept waiting to "regret it" as we get older but our life has never been happier. Things just get better as we age. Its honestly bliss, and 0 regrets. Thanks for being honest about the childfree life and normalizing that choice.
I’m subscribing to more and more childfree by choice (or circumstance) RU-vid channels. And now I’ve subscribed to your channel too. I respect people’s choice to have or not have kids. I myself have chosen not to have kids. And I’m content with my choice. 🤓 I love dogs and cats, books and art, architecture and philosophy (not a philosopher, just interested in it) and being childfree gives me time to pursue my interests as much as I want. I love peace and quiet time, and I am not interested in trading it for having kids. Just my preference. 🙃🙂 - I really enjoyed your video, your voice is very soothing.🌻🌻🌻
You've by far made all of the best points in the most polite way possible. You've successfully called out the bullies by letting them know how it feels to be invalidated while also letting everyone know that this is about choice and choices should be respected. I wish everyone in the world could see your video and I'm sad that it has already been a year since this has been posted with such little views. I will be sending this video to people.
As far as taking kids on a family vacation during the school year goes, many schools say that this an unexcused absence, and they simply don't allow it. It also goes against each state's mandatory school attendance laws as well. If kids are not in school, the schools will lose their state funding. If the school is not notified of your child's absence, the school will then call you. A truant officer will also show up at your door. Plus, you'll get hauled into court. You'll be charged with truancy. And you may end up going to jail. By not having any kids, you can plan your vacations around your job's schedule instead of a school's calendar.
'We' whom have chosen this decision are very in tune with our selves, esp. those that have known since they were in their teens and the clock never 'happened'. Congrats on speaking to others. Best to you.
I don't want to have kids, parenting is the most horrible thing that I see with my nephew, he cry a lot, I prefer to have a surgery for not having kids (I don't know the name on English) my family said that I'm going to change my mind because I need kids for they take care of me when I get old, that selfish, I want to be free, be a professional independent and very happy with my life, sleep on weekends, do all that I want in my life alone.
I have 1 child, a daughter. She is 7. I actually had her by embryo donation. I have also got other friends who don't want kids and I comment because I find this fascinating. I guess that is because I am so much the opposite. I totally respect your choice but I am very curious as to people's choices not to want to. Thank you for making this video.
25M I’ve also decided the same. My plan is to focus on my carrier, make shit load of money and retire early so I can travel and enjoy the rest of my life.
I’ve always loved kids and have worked with them and want to have a career where I am working with children. But I do not think I want one of my own. I have fallen in love with so many children I’ve worked with but I always have the option to walk away from them, they are not my responsibility. The thought of not being able to walk away, ever, is terrifying. Like you said, just because people don’t want kids doesn’t mean they don’t hate them! I think I’ve always thought that just because I adore kids and am good with them means I should have some of my own. But I simply just don’t think I want that commitment. This video was very helpful, thank you.
I was seconds in and had to hit the like button. I'm 27M and I don't want kids. Ever. My uncle in 2019 tried to change my mind and failed miserably because kids are emotional appeasement and nothing more. Here's my reasons for not wanting kids as a relatively young man. 1. Kids are weapons in the legal system. One false move or perceived false move and I can be investigated for an esuba [spelled backwards] that never happened. Mom can take them away for no other reason than I pissed her off and the system will back her almost every time. Boom. Child support. Nope. Not for me. 2. Even though poorer countries have more kids than America does, that's not at all a testament to the living standard of those kids. Sure. Hispanics and Africans have tons of babies but majority of the documentaries I see are those poor babies trying to sleep in dirty clothing with flies all over their faces. What's more is that they don't even have the energy to swat them away. To give 1 child a good life and not just survival in America, how much does it cost? In 2014, it was about $253k. Now that inflation has taken place in 2021, the same standard will cost around $300k. How much money does the parents have to gross to even net that much money in savings? Here's the kicker. They'll never get there. That's because they probably have so much debt that affording that kind of money is impossible. Shh. Don't tell them that. Just show them advertisements that trigger emotions and they'll throw that to the wayside and plunge themselves into even more debt. How many of our parents are thriving? Not many. How many are surviving with tons of debt? 3. My genetics suck. I have a genetic line of both neurological illnesses [seizures & strokes] as well as physical illnesses [diabetes & heart disease]. Smack on high blood pressure and panic disorder with bipolar and then tell me having a kid around is a good idea. Even if my kid only had diabetes, it sucks to have all that inflammation, watching someone moan in pain and being powerless knowing DARN well that pharma makes the problem worse. To imagine that suffering is more than I can bear. 4. Screwed up world- the indoctrination that has taken place is insane. Confusion about gender combined with pop star women encouraging promiscuity despite the emotional damage it is proven to cause or men pushing the crimson capsule despite the depression that it causes is beyond words. When there are drag queens telling kids things without parental consent nor knowledge, that crosses serious boundaries for me. 5. Sleep- is impossible to get for the first 2 years of a babies life. Lack of sleep increases chances of organ problems down the line. Also, it messes with memory and mood. I should know. Insomnia stinks. With babies, that's all you get is insomnia. All to say how cute they are when they are silent? Let that scene sink in. They only like their kids when they don't make any noise. 6. Free time- is scarce to nonexistent. Until that child is 18 or 21 in some places, you have 1 priority only. Forget vacations. Forget watching movies. Forget having adult fun time. Kids suck up your most scarce resource: time. Your dreams are on the backburner for about 2 decades. 7. S3x trafficking- searching youtube alone yields dozens of results from female survivors of what is the most emotionally damaging hate crime: exploiting a child for money. Men get farms and women become special workers. What's worse is now that I'm aware of it, I can't tell the difference between an actual survivor and some sick person who wants attention. To submit my kid to the smallest chance they'll be kidnapped and it be all my fault? Nope. 8. Economy- self explanatory. Can't predict it. No job is secure anymore.
This world is not good for you to bring a child while you yourself you've suffered the last 20 years in a dysfunctional family that you didn't choose :((
hey Bren, thanks for sharing these things about you. i am child-free myself and I was wondering if you think if one wouldn't regret not having children? what do you think
It's weird. I wanted children so bad from 20 to 25. I've had a series of traumas from 25 to 30. And the desire has completely disappeared. I developed severe OCD and panick attack disorder in the last years and I thank life everyday I have no kids for the last two years. I like the fantasy of children but not the reality of it. The constant worry paralyzes me. I found myself 3 times in a situation where I could become pregnant with different partners and we had to end the relationship all three times because of my anxiety when pregnancy was approaching. And it was the right decision. I still have lots of doubts and guilt on whether I'll regret it later. And also I feel very lonely. People do not understand I changed my mind. I've got zero support in my decision.
I totally agree with you because for me I'm 21 and still single and the reason why I don't want kids it's because it's just too much work and not to be mean but everytime I see a girl that's 18 or 19 years old pregnant I feel disgusting because back when I was in highschool in my senior year all of my friends have children and I told them good luck with that because I'm never having kids in general because most people would make fun of me and I didn't care what others think because I do want to find someone who does want kids and it's really hard to find those girls who don't want kids and I am saving up to get a vasectomy
I fractured my pelvis in a car accident in 1999. I have a lot of metal holding me in place. I also take a lot of medicine that I need daily. Most state, do not take while pregnant. I suffered a brain injury in that accident and that really changed my life. It also made me really think that it would be unfair for me to bring a child in this world. I do not have the finances to care for another human being. I will be an awesome aunt that sends fun presents!!❤
I don’t want kids I wanna live stress free and I love doing my own thing, people say to me I’m gonna be one lonely old man, well mate there is a lot of lonely old people with lots of kids 🤷♂️😆
No child asks to be born. There is suffering in life, and unless I can guarantee no illnesses, no emotional trauma, no genetic disorders, and no stress in relationships, maybe it is better to not have kids.
Omg I literally told someone something similar to this the other day! Children don’t have a say in being here. Idk why people act like this life is a gift when it’s not. Also if ur from America, you would not want kids. The government is corrupt and sketchy. Why force a child to be here, just to be forced to go to school, work and have to pay bills? Nah.
Could it be that the prevalence of teenage suicide are people who are frustrated that they were brought in this crazy world without being asked first, take matters in their own hand so to speak?
I'm 48-year-old guy from Greece. I 've too , chosen a child-free life, because , I have too many dreams , I believe , to accomplish while I'm in life, that are , for better or for worse, not related to parenthood, even remotely. My female partner is 42, she is child-free too, and we are very lucky to share the same values and opinions on this matter. Greetings from Greece. We send you our love.
I'm 36 years old with no children because i remember being told when i was 16 years old " Be sure if you really want kids because once you have them you got them for life! I heard how difficult parenting really is!
I dont want a child, they disgust me, i see them just as needy and ungrateful people. I will never have one or adopt one ,its just another person, is nothing special to me . But i do respect people who want one
People see parenting in such a glamorized light. They see children as fun accessories in their perfect little world. It's unrealistic and unfair to the child and themselves.
I don't want kids. I honestly feel like if I have a child, I won't have enough time for myself or my hobbies and I think that being a parent is a life decision that it shouldn't be taken lightly because it's going to affect your life for many many years. So I really don't understand why people tell me that I'm ungrateful or selfish just for not wanting to have kids.
@@dunjapanic8532 Not really, plus you don't know what hobbies this person has or any other obligations they have. Nothing about that is selfish, I hope you mature in your thinking.
I agree,and it sucks because in my culture if you don't have kids you're a Witch..The World is Changing it really feels like time is getting shorter ,like there isnt 24 hours I'm a day. INFLATION is real,and bottom line people change like they change their clothes,and The Last thing I want is to be a single Mom struggling if LIFE JUST HAPPENS.
@@dunjapanic8532 Were all entitled to our opinion. There are a lot of children in Foster Care that need homes.We forget about the Missing Children,and Children kidnapped and Sex Trafficked. If we go to the Bible it does say that The Lord wants us to be Fruitful and Multiple, that could be in numerous areas.If you own a successful Business you can have more than enough money to contribute to Gods people and his righteous causes. Were all here on this earth for a PURPOSE& DESTINY. Maybe the "NEW SELFISH" is the "NEW TRUTH".
I’m a Childfree guy. I’m Nigerian(a poor 3rd world African country)that alone is 1 reason. I’m a Christian. A Child can never go to Hell or suffer here on Earth if it was never born. So win win situation for everyone 🤷♂️🙌
One choice is certainly more moral than the other; being childfree never harmed any children! Many children, who were born, lived horrible and meaningless lives.
@@Brenschannel I certainly question why I never had the desire... society tells me I should... but I believe it is unethical to have a child without that desire. So no desire = no kids (for me anyways!)
Stand your ground. Because at the end of the day all the people around you are not going to be the ones stuck with the responsibility of dealing with the child. They will do what they do best, sit on their royal behinds clucking like farmyard hens
I think having a child is probably the scariest thing you could do. Having to give brith to a human and taking care of it so that it becomes a good citizen is probably the hardest task one could ever have. But I don't think I am emotionally stable OR physically available to have a child of my own. I am a biologist and the idea of generating a child of my own seems fascinating, but given how fast we're depleting our resources I don't see a point to contributing to it by putting another human being on Earth. I think it's super selfish to put a child on this Earth. If you want to be a parent so badly you have to accept that you will love a child and care for it no matter if it came from you, no matter what developmental or psychological problems they might have, no matter how much of a struggle to take care of they will be. It's a big issue that people don't think these things through before having a child, and just do it because it's considered "natural" or so they "won't be alone when they're old".
I thought I wanted kids but then now that I’m 38, I realized that things happened for a reason and being child free is the BEST thing that ever happened to me. You are making the RIGHT DECISION.
i'm smiling reading that. When I was 38 22 years ago I had no interest in having kids but was matched by a fried with a 34byr old lady who did !! i thought she'd change her mind. she never did. se turned 38 and dumped me to find someone to you know, and 18 later it looks like she never did.
What a great message! I have lived my 20s getting into relationships for the sole purpose of becoming a mother. Every relationship failed. At some point I said to myself that if I don't find a partner by the time I am 29, I will find a donor and become a single mother before I am 30. This whole thing, was influenced by my mother's wish to become a grandmother and not by my true wish to become a mother myself. Since I was 18 my mum constantly told me to have a kid soon, the younger the better, that this is what life's purpose is, to find a partner and have a kid. I got to 29, with a loving partner... but I was in a better place, a mind clear space, where I was finally able to make my own decisions and I decided it wasn't the time, I had lots of soul searching to do on this topic. Fast forward to now, I am 34 and have been through a beautiful self-healing and self-discovery journey. Guess what, turns out I do not want to be a mother, I don't want kids, it had always been my parents wish. I love my life as it is and I am so grateful that my life's path brought me here, to this moment of realization. Thank you for sharing Bren!
Thank you for sharing! I’m glad you realized that it wasn’t something you wanted. We shouldn’t be pressured to have kids just to please our family if we really don’t want them
I so happy you brought up the pressure from parents aspect. My husbands brother had a kid and the kid was just born and everyone started asking him when is having one telling him he’s next. People ask like it’s mandatory. I personally think it’s private and should be brought up if we choose to.
I have more of a problem with saying years young than not or having kids. The progression of age is only linear with people having more faculties through the further stages. One does not get younger as they age. This isn't Benjamin Button.
As a 32 year old woman, married, I’m on the fence but leaning towards no. I remember having a fear of being pregnant throughout my whole 20’s and thought that I would just get over it. A lot of people would tell me, “it’s not the end of the world if you get pregnant, you have a job, a good partner” .....But to me it would be the end of MY world.” My world includes just focusing on my hobbies, taking time for me, focusing on my career, and just plain getting to do what I want to do which is part of being an adult. You no longer have anyone to answer to when you reach adulthood so why all of a sudden do we have to answer to society or family by giving them what they want? I always Thought I would just finally get that instinct to have them but as much as I love kids, I’m never had the real urge to just have them. One of my pet peeves is when people also say, “when you meet the right guy”which quite frankly is insulting to say especially to a woman who may have a partner. I have an amazing kind husband who treats me with respect. He is the RIGHT guy. We just may not want kids!
2 great points here 1. its the end of MY world. 2. being an adult. You no longer have anyone to answer to . I think yo mean your parents... thats how I interpreted it.
I’ve had that when someone said to me you’re boyfriend is not good for you because he doesn’t want to have kids, if you had a guy who wanted to have kids you would want them too. People are so stupid! if I had a partner who wanted to have kids, it would never be a relationship because we want different things. I’ve been with my partner over 7 years now and we are happy without kids.
@@patricia_1303 I cannot believe how worked up people get when someone says they don’t want kids. You can’t force someone to have or do something they don’t want. This life is full of suffering. I’d rather prevent bringing a child into the world now before they are born and it’s too late. Life is so unfair. Having children is a personal decision and should not be made by people who aren’t gonna be the child’s parents. Your friends and family members should never have a say or even influence you to have kids because guess what at the end of the day that potentially child is yours and your responsibility!
@@jord3000 Yeah exactly that’s my point! People tell you to have kids but they won’t be looking after them, you will and it means changing your whole life, your routine, your lifestyle, your plans but people don’t take that into consideration and it can be really frustrating. They will never ask if you can afford to have kids, people are struggling financially these days anyway and also people should never tell a woman to have kids, what if she can’t have them? No consideration for other people whatsoever. But I guess these type of people will never learn
Being an aunt of 9 and having my hands full when parents aren’t around has made me not want kids. I don’t like they idea waking up pissed and bothered. I grew up with anger problems and now an adult and still working on it. It would be selfish of me to take that out on my kid. There are too many parents with these issues and needs to stop.
@@Will.Flavell I'm glad I became an uncle. I can spend time with my nephews and nieces, and bring them back to their parents when get tired of playing with them. I enjoy my freedom.
@@Kjones520 Same! When I took care of my cousin baby. That baby made me realize that motherhood isn't 100% for me. The thought of being responsible for another life is scary, especially if you messed up your decisions in life a lot.
I have no problem to stay children free)) I'm 29 and I don't like the way this world is going....so, I'm going just enjoy my life)) Hello from Russia ✨
Privyet! (I’m learning Russian and Ukrainian since that’s what my boyfriend speaks) And yes, you should definitely enjoy your life. Thank you for sharing your thought 😊
Jezebel Love -No one is forcing you to have children, ( God forbid!) more women have decided the same, BUT! And there is always a BUT, if the trend continues, and with the cost of providing for even one child forever going up and more women stop having children, the consequences for a country will be dire, . Hungary and other countries are beginning to wake up to the problem and will pay families to have children. You will not be 29 forever, eventually you will retire, and if the trend continues you will live to be 80 and over; someone else's son or daughter will have to work to keep every thing running, for you and other woman like you to enjoy a certain level of standard of living. Except there won't be enough of them to provide. Every thing has consequences.
@@marcellogenesi6390 There shouldn't be any consequences when it comes to a personal decision. I don't see u going after childfree men like myself and others. Yet u go after our counterparts.
@@edgar22452 I was hoping that you would understand that I was not trying to play the blame game , but stating the facts. I would listen without prejudice if you could be more specific, on points that you disagree. Modern women, have the final decision, when it comes to reproduction, is called women emancipation. They have a choice, but that does not mean that there are no consequences.
I do not want to have children, the world is not easy and everything indicates that it will only get worse. I don't want to put a child in the world to suffer.
Don’t want to go through childbirth and pregnancy Don’t want the responsibility I struggle with generalized anxiety and depression I don’t have the patience I just don’t have the desire
Yes. People need to learn that not everyone wants THAT type of responsibility. I also fear that I’ll end up living my life for someone else instead of myself😫 someone I know has said that when their kids came along, they did EVERYTHING for their children instead of for themselves. We only get one life, you best live it how you want and screw what others think of your choice to not have kids.
I'm childfree because this lifestyle is way more appealing to me than parenthood. I'm lucky to have a mom who respects my decision and doesn't pressure me to make her a grandma 😊❤
I love being childfree. Childfree people must be careful to not gloat so much. And we must not let the world make us feel that we owe other people something, such as letting them put their kids off on us so they can have a break of parenting.
As a black man, I been called "GAY" because I don't have or want children---I feel free and I have time for myself---I know I wouldn't be a good father if I decide to have a child.
Every time my mother in law asks I tell her 4 grandkids is enough. I already play a big part in their lives. I'll stick to being an aunt. I'm too selfish. I want to focus on my career, going on vacations, and my partner.
I don't think it's selfish at all. I think it's simply okay for you to want to focus on your career and enjoy your life with your partner. Do what's best for you and what makes you happy :)
I've heard people say that they had their kids in their 20s so that they could enjoy their 40s. I say, you can enjoy your 20s AND 40s by not having any kids at all! We were influenced to believe that having kids is a mandatory thing to do when you actually don't have to have them at all!
@@blakeavila4409 Nope, that's is not true sweetie. That study you read doesn't associate risk because of abortion, it's due to high stress. Read the whole study instead of the title before you start using it as a valid argument. Don't be lazy kid.
@@penny4thought168 I have not seen a study, I have seen a meta analysis. jech.bmj.com/content/50/5/481 I also understand that the greatest surge occurs early in a pregnancy. Estrogen causes the breast tissue and breast cells to grow. If abnormal cells exist in her breast, a potential tumor may be stimulated to grow at this time. In early pregnancy, these immature breast cells are much more susceptible to cancer-causing agents, because they are constantly dividing and can more easily develop into cancer cells. At the end of a full-term pregnancy, a woman’s breasts fully mature and are able to secrete milk. This, in effect, counterbalances the initial surge of estrogen, because the breast cells no longer divide. Thus, they are less susceptible to cancer-causing agents. However, when a pregnancy is terminated by abortion, the capacity for the woman’s breast cells to grow is not switched off. So, while a full-term pregnancy increases a woman’s protection from cancer, an abortion increases her risk of cancer because it leaves more carcinogen-vulnerable cells behind in the breast.
I myself do not have nor want kids anyway. I'm heavily immersed into my medical profession. Besides when I come home from work and school, I like my place clean and quiet.
What annoys me is that people tell me “you should have kids” but so many times they complain how hard it is to have kids and I see how stressed out they are all the time. In my opinion these type of people telling you to have kids because they can’t stand seeing you living your life and doing what you love to do. I’m 26 and I’ve never had a desire to have kids and I’m happy with my decision!
Don’t mind those people. Keep doing what you love while they live miserable and unhappy lives. I feel like people like that didn’t really want kids, but maybe they’ve been pressured to have them by society and even their families.
@@jord3000 Yes, well said! Because if they really wanted kids they should be happy and focus on themselves and their kids, not other people and tell others what to do.
@@patricia_1303 I also think they care too much about what others think that they can’t live for themselves and do things bc they genuinely want to, misery LOVES company. Never let other’s pressure or manipulate you into doing something you know you don’t want to do, that’s how you’ll become miserable, exactly like those people.
@@jord3000 Yeah that’s right and they also live within the “norm” so they think everyone should do the same thing like get a job, buy a house, get married, have kids, but life doesn’t always work this way and people want different things. Yeah and I would rather argue then do something against my will!
HOW is choosing to be childfree selfish? I've never heard an actual argument behind that??? I'm in the USA and I am definitely not having kids. Didn't want them before, now I definitely don't.
Those are basically my reasons for not wanting children as well. There is probably maybe max 10% of me that considers the idea of having a kid but for me personally, the cons outweigh the pros. I really value having time to myself and having the freedom to be able to do things on my own schedule. I have a lot of mental health struggles also and it’s already hard enough looking after myself, having responsibility for another human is just not a good idea for me. I don’t understand why some people try to convince other people to have kids. I find it SO weird. Like I don’t go around telling strangers to reconsider having kids - that’s pretty damn rude. It’s like when I tell people (with children of their own) that I’m considering not having children, or that they’re not for me, they take it like some kind of personal attack? When all I’m doing is making a personal decision that doesn’t impact them AT ALL. Also sometimes I feel like their arguments aren’t very convincing lol. The same people who seem to try and convince me to have children are the same ones who constantly complain about the time, money and efforts it costs to raise a child...they fully have a right to complain and I understand being a parent would come with loads of challenges and it’s never going to be rainbows and butterflies! But it’s kinda funny that they are always complaining about it and then try and tell me to have a kid lol. Sorry for the wall of text but thank you for making this video. I’m sorry that you get attacked for choosing not to have children, it’s really unacceptable that people do that.
Thank you so much for watching, and sharing your thoughts! I totally get where you're coming from. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in not wanting kids
cons and pros - having a child is not a sports event where 1 point makes the difference b/w winning and losing, to quote Laura Scott you need to have "burning desire"
Children are not a blessing, in my opinion. They are simply humans just like anyone else. Raising them is burdensome, expensive, draining on social/emotional/financial resources, often boring or unfulfilling for many people, and many of them have severe physical, psychological or developmental problems. You can ask my mom and I’m sure she would honestly say that she regretted having us at one point. I prefer to have a career over children because I contribute more meaningful things to through my career than through having children. I hate the idea of large families. I’m really introverted and my idea of a happy life is peace, quiet and solitude around my house where I have more time to indulge in things more important to my values such as my hobbies, interests, books, and travel. I hate the idea of having 3-5 noisy kids around the house who take away from my time, freedom, solitude, peace and quiet. It doesn’t make any sense to me. Having a large family is just a boring, stressful, loud, noisy, joyless existence, in my opinion. I don’t want to have any children at all, but if I did I would adopt two kids from foster care or I would only adopt one child.
34 y/o and I’ve known I didn’t want kids when I was like 9 or 10 and i haven’t found that desire people talk about, I actually get stressed out thinking about kids.
As a guy approaching 30, I've always been asked if I have a child or even had a girlfriend, and I said no to both of them, because I never had those desires. People would tell me that I'll end up lonely if I don't. But honestly, I'd rather live a lonely life than not being able to fulfill another person's life experience. As of right now, I'm satisfied with how my life is going.
Same here bro, I’m 25, single and starting to get those questions frequently. I just started my career, like I don’t have time right now I’m good with just my dog (dalmation).
I totally stand with you in your decision. As a man, I think everyone should be free to make whatever damn decision is best for them, and no amount of guilt-tripping or shaming will ever change that. At the end of the day, only YOU know what path is best for you.
THIS! I resonate so much with this video. People always try to convince me that my mind will change, but I honestly believe if you're not overwhelmingly excited and mentally prepared to have kids, it unfair to bring a whole precious life into the world.
I’m currently in college and want to stay focused on my career. I also like going to the gym when I want, going on trips when I want. I don’t want to have to bring extra luggage, which would be the kids. People need to realize that you have to WANT to have a something in order for it to work out well for you. And to add, I don’t like kids. I don’t want to be around them or hold them. That doesn’t make me evil or heartless either. People need to stop acting like childfree people don’t have a heart and are careless. I don’t know how to interact with babies, and nothing can/ will force me to. I always think about do I NEED them? Instead of WANT. Wants seem more selfish than needs.
Can i give this video 1000👍? I fear pregnancy, birth, the aftermath and to lose myself in motherhood and not be my own person anymore. Love your video. So sad we women are shamed for not wanting to become a mother. I have always loved animals and felt not comfortable around babies or small kids. So i rather be the typical catlady and get my cuddles and love from a being that i love like a familymember.
Growing up in a very disfuncional family i always felt like i had to have kids when i got older just because my sister did and because my mom wanted grandchildren but after seeing the struggle my sister went through i decided i didn't wanna go down that path and now my family feels like I'm not complete because I don't have regular children ( i have two fur babies) and for some reason they feel i can't give any sort of advice to them because I don't have kids. It's ridiculous but I'm learning not to take offense to it and just move on.
I admire your openness. In my opinion, it feels like a lot of people want children without asking themselves the questions you have presented in this video. Many times, people can be so eager to have children but don’t have much of a foundation to support them. I would hate to bring a child into this world unless I understood the responsibility and have to capabilities for them not to struggle just because I selfishly wanted children.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! And I agree with you. There was a point in my life where I wanted kids without fully understanding what that actually meant. Now that I understand what it means to be a parent, I now know that having kids isn’t the best option for me
@@urbana11229 So true! I have been on the fence of wanting children. As I get older, I have become less interested. But I have not ruled it out completely. Similar to Bren, I have come to understand that parenting is not just rewarding, but it can be incredibly challenging. In addition, being a parent is not a requirement to anyone's life. Some people are just better off not having children.
@@justinsmith6095 - agreed, SOME people are just better off not having children. Being that I never really wanted any, no one needed to say that to me..
I think I’m too selfish to have kids. I love living my life for myself, having freedom to do what I want everyday. If I became a mother I would feel forced everyday to do things I rather would not do, lets be honest, entertaining a kid sucks, its only wining and lots of tiring work, I would become a moody and depressed mother (not a good one) and I would feel guilty everyday.
Selfish is subjective and its not something to be seen as bad. In fact, people deciding to have kids can also be said as selfish as they always have kids for their own benefits i.e needing someone to care for them in old age, fear of being lonely, boredom, hopes their kids will break them out of poverty circle even though the world is already facing so many problems of its own.
We are seven billion in this planet why need more there are kids dying and starving we should help them first I have heard many people say childeless marriages fail but marriages with children fail as well and have worse consequences
Whoever says childless marriages fail is lying. Why would people who have more time and money to spend together be more unhappy? Doesn't make sense. Now if I had a dime every time I saw a marriage fail due to kids... I'd be rich. More arguments, less sleep, less money, more fights, less time together, less attention on each other, dead bedrooms... kids kill marriages. Even if they don't divorce "because of the kids" they are still not together.
@@HikaruYamamoto - as I did ! Wish I had thought of that phase hypothetical children 20 years ago.... then again if I had I may not have been "much happier"
Looking after yourself is hard enough as is. If you don't know yourself very well, what chance do you have with someone who is NOT you and also knows literally nothing?
I appreciate this video. Fortunately every time I've said I don't want kids and here's why, everyone took it very well. I'm sorry you cried when you were confronted about YOUR CHOICE. That sucks. But I'm also glad you're sticking to your decision. It's a shame how many parents had children for other people and regretted it.
The shit that's going on in on this world, who would want to bring a child in this fucked up world- People are mad at you for not wanting any children because they want you to not do what you want to do when you want to---in a way, they regret having children and now they vilify others for wanting to live a childfree life. I know several men, that told me that I was lucky not to have children
Me and my husband married 25 years ago, now I am 45 no kids, no regrets happy 😊like other normal couples . we travel a lot and spent time with each other.nonsense people are criticising as selfish😠.
I am the oldest of 6 siblings from Chin state of Myanmar. My parents were farmers and extremely poor. We did not have enough food during rainy season every year and borrow from neighbours. We did not have money to pay school fee and teachers often sent us back home and told us not to come back until we can pay. We attended public school but had to pay a little fee like 500 kyats occasionally and we did not have it. We were very embarrassed in front of our classmates. I cooked and did all house chores, and took care of my siblings at the same time when my parents slept at forest farms from Monday to Saturday. I wore second-hand clothes and never had new ones. My father was alcoholic and drank every weekend, and beat mom every month. Mom fled home to her mother's house leaving us alone with drunk dad. Dad sometimes did not come home for days. Sometimes I cook rice soup and drank it with my siblings because we did not have enough rice. I washed all my siblings' clothes, mine and father's with hands. I cried almost every week thinking 'wouldn't it be better if I were not born'. Many times, I went to nearby forest and planned to commit suicide by hanging myself to tree but always stopped because I pitied my siblings thinking 'who would take care of them if I were gone'. I cried a lot in forest and went back home after hours of crying. Now I am 30 but I still have to work for my parents and siblings. I have been living for others and suffering since as long as I can remember. So I don't want to have children. I just want to live freely and in peace for once before I die. Btw, I am man.
I'm honestly struggling with this decision. I'm constantly wondering when the urge to want to be a parent/feeling ready to be parent will kick in for me. I'll be 29 soon and haven't felt it yet.
Sounds to me like society has gotten into your head. You're wondering when the urge to want to be a parent is going to kick in which means that, deep down, you believe that you SHOULD be having that desire...as if not feeling it is somehow abnormal. That urge may never come, and I think it is a waste of time and energy for you to be constantly wondering when or if it ever will. It's okay if you end up being childfree for the rest of your life. Just don't go and have them because you feel you should. That's NEVER a good reason to do it.
You're right. You'll have less time, less $, etc. Many people tell you how much they love their children and it's great but, speak to them alone and you'll get a different answer. Many people had children by accident... Many parents are very envious of childless-people's lifestyle and freedom.
True, my colleagues always ask me when I will have kids when minutes ago, they were just complaining to me about their kids. Realized it's just them wanting me to join them in their misery
I’m glad someone is able to explain why they don’t want to have kids in a way that is not having to say that another persons way of thinking is wrong all because it is different. Great video. Keep it up.
agreed... I like vanilla ice cream, its not my place to criticize someone for ordering chocolate. same thing with coke or pepsi. you like what you like.
@@Brenschannel Being programmed to want kids could be why some people think they want kids. And then realize they don't want kids. But I don't think everyone's programmed to want them. I think some people just want kids or don't want them
Live a life YOU love!! I fully support your decision!! SAME here. Due to growing environmental and social concerns I will never support natalists but each individual should be free to choose.
“Parenting is an option not an obligation” this!! My older relatives would bug anyone in their 20’s or when they’re successful to have as many kids as if children are props that’ll fulfill the family continuation. I’m still a teen but decided well enough that I have no need to have a kid when I’m an adult. Half of it stems from my past truama, but now it’s actually just i know they’re not needed and would get in the way of many things I achieve for. . I can just keep a cat/dog and be happy enough with just that
I am happy to know that there are many people who want to be child-free like me. I do like kids but don't want to bring children in this toxic world. Besides, I'm scared for the environmental destruction in future and it would be difficult for them to survive. I might adopt a kid if i change my mind in future.
I think kids are great and super and I adore them, which is why I’ve decided to become a teacher, not a parent. I want to help kids learn and grow without having to actually have kids of my own.
