Cinematic Excrement: Episode 129 - Swept Away 

"Why update the movie if you're not going to...update the movie?" Welcome to how I felt about the Lion King remake.

Fun fact: Giannini being creepy earned him to be the voice actor dubbing Jack Nicholson in Batman89 and Shining The son is the voice actor for the Joker(Ledger) and the Joker(Phoenix)...they've done an amazing job So here in Italy we have a family of Jokers no wonder they do a good job acting creepy.

Remember when Smeghead reviewed The Cat In The Hat (2004) and he mentioned dreading the day he would have to review Gigli? May is coming...

Master of Disguise deserves it's own episode

My late mother (RIP--she died in 2016) saw the original Swept Away in a movie theater, and it was one of the few films she saw that made her angry...

Man i feel sorry for Jeanne Tripplehorne. She had to turned down the role of Mia Wallace in Pulp Fiction because her mom had cancer, then she got Waterworld and then this...

Time for the spiritual successor to Cinemadonna.

Eight Crazy Nights and Master of Disguise weren’t even *nominated* for Worst Picture? Someone at SNL must’ve slipped the Razzies committee a $20...

Guy Ritchie has one of the most hit and miss careers I've ever seen. For everything great he's made...he's made this and other god awful stinkers.

112 Episodes Ago: "...but due to some stiff competition from Gigli, and I dreading the day when I finally sit down and watch that..." Well, it looks like that day has finally come

I will never get tired of the "NEW YORK CITY!?!" gag.

Take a shot everytime you hear Madonna's character shout "ANTHONY!"

Every movie I've ever seen which had Madonna in it proves two things: 1) She is good in very small short scenes as a supporting character. 2)She could never carry the ball by herself when given the lead role. This is why all of those films are practically unwatchable.

Todd in the Shadows said in his review of Swept Away, that in the original it was obvious that Wertmuller was trying to troll her audience. That's why there was so much misogyny and the "hero" was so awful to his "love interest". It was supposed to shock and disturb the audience. I personally don't agree with that directing philosophy but I can understand what she was going for.

When asked why the movie was going direct to video in the UK, Ritchie replied "because people think it's sh!t"

Nice Italian, apart from a few accents. And the worst part of Swept Away is how Lina Wertmuller cried 'What have they done to my movie?' after seeing it.

It's a good thing Sean doesn't have to review the two films Madonna directed yet because not only could she not act, she couldn't direct either. I still feel bad for poor Todd in the Shadows for having to sit through her entire filmmography (although A Leauge of their Own is a genuine classic).

15:04 Hold on, YOU'RE FORTY? You ARE doing pretty well for forty dude, damn!

I await the Master of Disguise Cinematic Excrement. That movie... it holds a special place in my heart.

10:33 When I saw this movie, I never shouted "Fuck you" louder in my life than I did at that part

Laughed out loud at the, "Girl, talk about it!" 😆 And, you're doing just fine for 40, Sean! 🤓

2:37 Ah, but Sean, remember, Bo Derek KNOWS she can't act, and that's why she's more or less been playing "herself" after John died. And she can't do THAT either....

“Are we being punished for being rich?” CUT! alright madonna’s stunt double, are you ready to get chucked into the ocean?

Came for the reviews, stayed for the Pace picante sauce meme.

18:45 The Rollerball remake should have gotten a Worst Picture nomination as well.

When you brought up the Golden Globes' sketchiness, I thought you were going for Sia's Music. I know it was a slow award season, but come on, Golden Globes!

Between this and the topic of next month's video, I can assume that couples who work together on a film can be disastrous to the movie and their relationship.

Master of Disguise deserves the Razzie. But I’m surprised you didn’t tackle it yet. And that you’re 40. Holy crap you age well!

At least Ritchie has The Gentleman as a decent enough comeback. Definitely looking forward to his upcoming project, Wrath of Man.

This was the year they double jumped the shark when they awarded a simply bad movie and ignored Ballistic:Ecks vs. Sever (a movie so mind numbing conceived & written that even the title is nonsensical)

Your pronunciation of the Italian title for the original 1974 film "Swept Away" wasn't half-shabby. In fact, it was really great.

Hold up, you're 40? Damn, I legit had no idea.

After years of waiting we will finally see Sean review the infamous Gigli in Cinematic Excrement episode 130.

Oh boy howdy I can’t wait to know what you have to say about Gigli

Nice! I had a feeling Sean would give a brief summary of Cinemadonna (a series by Todd in the Shadows, where he critiques Madge’s filmography)

As a French speaking person that talks a tongue that is close to Italian and Spanish her calling him a midget makes a lot of sense, especially when you consider the implications and other senses midget has in other languages, and his own reaction to it. She was attacking him as a person by saying that he's a small, insignificant being as a whole, including his virility. She's calling him "small" and "ugly" in every aspect unimaginable... 😊

I do not envy the Smeghead for the upcoming review for Absolute Proof

italian here. Besides forgiving you for your italian, i'm here to explain a bit of context for the original movie. Italy has always had a big north vs south cultural clash. You can pretty much take every stereotype about blacks in american and it's pretty much the same thing here, but in italy it's so deep rooted that the third most voted party is the secessionist party (imagine trump, but even more overtly a white supremacist). But also yeah, southern italians tend to have darker skin (or they tan really fast). And southern italy is very close to africa. That is to say, it's not odd to see assholes using "black" as a derogatory term

I think Todd in the Shadows said that it was obvious that Madonna wanted to make her own version of How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Y'know, Make a movie where she gets to lounge around on a beach and make out with a younger man. I completely understand that sentiment but there had to be a better way of accomplishing that goal.

I just found your channel and binge-watched about a dozen of your videos. After having subscribed to guys like Channel Awesome (the Nostalgia Critic), the Cinema Snob, Brandon's Cult Movies, and others, I've added you to my list! Great stuff!!!

One of my least favourite remakes ever made and I’m surprised how Sean didn’t mention how pissed off Lina was at the remake.

> $10 million budget > $600k box office run Can you say "OOF," boys and girls?

About the original Swept Away: nope, it's not a 'product of its time'. The whole point is that neither Raffaella nor Gennarino are supposed to be 'sympathetic characters'. They are both horrible. The fact that, under some social circumstances, blue collar Gennarino is a 'victim of capitalism' does not mean that he is inherently a good person. Lina Wertmüller's cinema is full of morally questionable and ambiguous characters. The original Swept Away really makes the viewer question many assumption. In the end, it is not even clear whether Raffaella really falls in love with Gennarino, or whether she was manipulating him in order to survive. Unfortunately, nowadays viewers seek answers, not questions. They want the 'good people' vs. the 'bad people', the heroes vs. the villain, all nicely tied up by 'storytelling'. Such a shame.

Thank you much. I saw this the Original " Swept Away (1974) random on TV years ago...loved it. It got/gets alot of criticism, but deals in the true condition of things.

Ok, my fanfiction mind is giving me an idea on how to revamp the original Swept Away and make it far less problematic. In my revamp, the woman lead would be a daughter of a rich libertarian capitalist who she strongly disagrees with when it comes to politics. The male lead would be a working class black man (most likely from African descent) who just has a job of working at the yacht. When the leads do get stranded, they figure out they should set aside whatever disputes they had and work as a team in order to survive being stranded on the deserted island. Better yet, the leads treat each other with respect and as equals, especially when they learn about the things they have in common. When the leads do get rescued, they get together for real, and they really have no former husbands or wives to get back to. And of course I'm a sucker for these kinds of interracial romances.

I thought the joke of the original Swept Away was that Pepe was revealed as a henpecked husband.

Given Madonna's takes on COVID-19, that "I don't want to be tested" joke sounds extra fitting now

I think the original is not an issue of "of its time" as much of misguided progressivism that should be taken as a cautionary tale for current progressive artists and critics. As I like to say, intersectionaliting is hard and it is not easy to juggle different political issues without "dropping the ball" on one of them. Sure the original does a good job on class and ideological issues but REALLY "drops the ball" on gender issues, even with a woman and feminist director, and the simple script choice of the rich brat being a woman makes the whole thing have some awkward vibes, and the fact the class warfare angle is so aggressive (which from a socialist point of view probably seemed like a good idea to the director) only makes the unintended sexist angle meaner. There's a lesson in there that aggressive satire may not be helpful sometimes and that you have to think through how your politically charged flick is approaching several issues and never be comfortable that just because you belong to x under privileged gender or racial group that you may not do a negative work even against your own group. There's a lesson to be had there. In defense of the remake on the "black midget" thing, even in the original calling the male lead that was less about Southern Italians being darker and considered less white by their Northerner country-people and more one of those situations in which the insult used tells us more about the insulter than the insultee. It tells us that the Madonna character is a racist, ableist b*tch to the point of using racial and disability categories as insults even to people who don't belong to those categories. Sean arguing if an American in 2002 would categorise the guy as black or a midget is like hearing someone use gay as an insult and react with a "But that guy is actually straight!"; it is not about if the insultee is gay or not, it is about the insulter considering that gay can be used to just mean "bad" or "lame".

If I want to watch something about a greedy billionaire capitalist and a hairy working-class communist arguing with each other, I'd watch The Lorax. And not the animated film from Illumination, no, I mean the special directed by Dr. Suess himself. It's way more clever with its messaging, and it allows you to sympathize with both the capitalist and the communist.

Why is it whenever I'm just having the worst time you post a new episode to distract me from it?

This guy has the best presenter voice

This movie is basically a serious and dramatic version of "Six Days Seven Nights"... Can you retro-actively remake a movie? lol

I’ve somehow never heard of either of these but abuse aside the first one seems interesting. Maybe worth the a try.

FINALLY YOU'RE REVIEWING GIGLI! I remember you saying you would do so one day back when you reviewed The Cat in The Hat! You sure took your sweet time!

I was a Razzie voter one year in the mid 2010s and the way awareness od films was made was the guy who ran it having a gathering at his apartment and running a Jeremy Jahns playlist to raise awareness of bad films. In 2002 pre-RU-vid I can only imagine it being 100x harder to find things that weren't watercooler conversations (like this was)

How do you sit through the Martian and come away thinking it’s a comedy?!

I can't wait to see you review the Master of Disguise someday ever since Doug Walker reviewed back in 2013!

bro I've been watching your videos since I was a kid and I'm so psyched to see you're still here I'm boutta BINGE

I just watched this movie a few days ago. This review gives me life.

The moment I heard Giancarlo Giannini played a role in the original, I had to back it up and make sure I heard that right. The guy went from the original "Swept Away" to playing Inspector Pazzi in "Hannibal" and Miguel Manzano in the 2004 "Man on Fire" film (specifying the year because it's an adaptation of a novel that previously received a film adaptation in the '80s). I have to say, if folks here haven't seen "Man on Fire" I highly recommend it. Rough subject material and not for the faint of heart but a great story nonetheless.

Can’t wait for Gigli.

You know what they say! You can teach a dog new tricks, but you can't teach Madonna how to act!

Here's a question. Is it true that this movie affected the box office revenue of "Spirited Away" because people got the titles confused?

I've been waiting so long for this.

As you touched on, there has long been bigotry against darker skinned Italians in Southern Italy, particularly in Sicily.

I can't even remember where that "New York City" clip is from anymore.

Ah, Giancarlo Giannini, the man who played the Padishah Emperor Shaddam IV in the Dune Mini-Series.

It's like Overboard but if Kurt Russel was violent and Goldie Hawn wasn't likable.

Aw man, the Razzies ignored Ballistic? For shame, man, for SHAME!

As someone who is studying Italian your accent was actually pretty decent. I haven’t seen all of Gigli but I’ve seen enough for me to totally cringe. I never want to hear J-Lo talk about vaginas ever again thanks

18:29 - And this brings a question, Smeg. ... Why haven't you reviewed this glorious gem of unfunny crap yet?

Your forty? I have to agree with you your like the Paul Rudd of RU-vid reviewers

And the whole time I'm thinking that "Who's That Girl" was Madonna's first movie

18:19 Fun fact out of all the movies that have a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes Ballistic Ecks vs. Server is the one with the most reviews.

oh yes, I needed this video

Any chance we can get the Ecks v Sever Review brought back, good luck on Gilgi a movie that even Affleck hates more than BvS and Daredevil

Thx for the episode~

I don't know if anyone cares but if you've seen the animated Asterix movie called the Big Fight then you might know the composer: Michael Colombier. If you want to hear a good song from that movie google Zonked. Sadly this movie Swept Away was he's final movie to compose music for, since he passed away in 2004. Don't feel too sad: He also composed the music for such "classics" as the Golden child and Barb wire.

You know, watching this - I'm thinking of the short Star, also with Madonna and directed by Richie, and wondering if Richie has issues with women overall, or just with Madonna...

I have a feeling Madonna badgered poor Guy Richie into making this film. She doesn't seem that far from the character she plays in this movie.

Guess you could say the tide is high, but this film ain’t holding on?

12:48 Madonna's an OK singer at best.

Gonna be great Saturday night!

Nice touch with the Pace picante sauce bit dude ;)

That guy looks like a drunk, Italian Andy Serkis.

Jeez, the original Italian version of Swept Away looks like an Indie Film version of the Torgo/Margaret relationship in MANOS THE HANDS OF FATE.

Sean "Smeghead" Moore is in his forties. Is was in high school when I started watching him.

you got a like for the disclaimer made me chuckle btw agree with the other comments about remakes that not remake the film

Bro I'm high asf and I thought this video was about the wallace and grommet rat movie for eight whole minutes. 💀

I've seen the review by Todd ITS for CInemadonna. It has moments where it's calling for me to scream "TURN IT OFF!" like George C Scott. Her yelling ANTHONY is the equivalent of listening to Metal Machine Music and Lars Ulrich banging his St. Trash Cans.

18:38 Well, I used to enjoy Master of Disguise as a kid, but now I'm not so sure if it holds up anymore...

Finally!!! ^^

Sounds fairly similar to that certain horror movie involving a murder in a shower scene that many people have considered a iconic film only to b given a piss poor remake

Wait...you're 40?

every famous performer seems to be "pushing boundaries" every couple of years. like the recent drama of that edgelord who tried claiming he was the first one to be blatantly sexual with his work.

I really loved this movie

A Projared and cinematic excrement video on the same day, damn that's somethning

Which is the worst movie of 2003: Gigil The Cat in the Hat Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle Form Justin to Kelly The Real Cancun

00:05, lol!! Love that intro!

Maybe all the money is hers? And the husband doesn't want her to take it all with her. No idea, just made me think of Overboard.