Codependency Quiz: How to Know if you are Codependent

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In this talk we dive into the connection between attachment styles and codependency. Attachment styles describe how we emotionally bond with others, often shaped by our early experiences with caregivers. However, when these attachment patterns become maladaptive, they can lead to codependent behaviours, creating unhealthy dynamics in relationships. In codependency, one person may rely heavily on the other for approval, validation, or emotional support-often rooted in insecure attachment formed in childhood. Today, we’ll go through a self-test with key questions to help you identify if you're experiencing codependent behaviours, such as struggling with boundaries, constantly seeking approval, or feeling responsible for others' emotions. Watch to find out how these patterns are showing up in your relationships and how to start making healthier changes.
Don't forget to grab my free download: "6 Tips to Free Yourself from Codependent Patterns." here👉🏻 courses.juliak...
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Julia Kristina, MA, is a speaker, teacher, master therapist and mental wealth coach who helps smart, highly sensitive, heart centred humans get past anxiety, stress, and self-doubt so they can have better: Better relationships, a better life and feel better about themselves.
Through her membership program, The Shift Society, she helps people identify their deep rooted thoughts and beliefs that are keeping them stuck and struggling, and then teaches them how to take charge of their minds and emotions so they can thrive in all areas of their lives.
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#Codependency #AttachmentStyles #SelfTest #CodependencySigns #HealthyBoundaries #PeoplePleasing #EmotionalSupport #RelationshipHelp #InsecureAttachment #MentalHealth #SelfHelp

Опубликовано:

27 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 47

@evamussio7533 8 дней назад

I didn't think I was codependent until I realised that most of these patterns apply to me 😮❤ xxx

@juliakristinamah 6 дней назад

did this help you understand better what you're struggling with?

@evamussio7533 6 дней назад

@@juliakristinamah yes, thank you so much! 💓 especially when it comes to feeling a bad person for not having the emotional energy or capacity to take on other people's stuff... perhaps I am a bit "arrogant" (although noone of my friends or families would describe me like that I don't think) but rather than fearing abandonment or rejection, I have come to a point in life when I feel quite secure with a few people in my circle, but I value a lot my independence, I expect very little of people, I prefer giving than receiving... but in certain situations I do feel like people expect a lot from me and that makes me feel quite down...I think that a good idea would be journaling to process emotions! Thank you so much and sorry about a long reply xxx

@ytwithlove 3 дня назад

A lot of these patterns I started in my marriage and moved into my friendships. I didn't relize I was codependant until seeing this video. I'm hoping I can learn to get out of these patterns so I can have my freedom in my life.

@melyndafrazer1962 7 дней назад

This information is sooooo helpful, Im so codependent, yet I love what you said Julia, once you start to see it, you can’t unsee it. That is very reassuring. Thank you and yes, I’m starting to see it now .

@juliakristinamah 6 дней назад

identifying that problem is a very brave first step - I see you doing the work Melynda.

@melyndafrazer1962 6 дней назад

@@juliakristinamahthanks Julia I identify them all 😮. But I’m not going to make myself wrong !

@lesliengo8347 3 дня назад

Codependent person here and I am identifying and learning to stop being codependent and start being more authentic. I am an empathic person and I tend to feel uncomfortable when someone around me, especially a family member, aren't feeing good. I think this stems from my parents who aren't emotionally mature, so I built up a sense that I needed to "solve" their issues because I don't want to feel unsettled. I not don't take on people's problems anymore and instead, I ask them "what would you like to do about this problem?" I have a lot of work I want to do but am proud of my progress.

@1000wastedwords 5 дней назад

Ok, so I thought I was codependent, but I mildly have some of these. They used to be a bit stronger when I was younger but are much less now. This actually was rather reassuring.

@melyndafrazer1962 7 дней назад

😮omgosh!! I’m so codependent AND I’m learning to spot it . Thank you for this information Julia!!

@juliakristinamah 6 дней назад

you're so welcome. I'm really glad it's helping bring a lot of clarity Melynda.

@Marekcatholic 8 дней назад

Thank you Julia for this video on what codependence is!

@juliakristinamah 6 дней назад

you'are so welcome Marek - I hope you found it helpful.

@Marekcatholic 6 дней назад

@@juliakristinamah It was helpful, Julia!

@jamesclear3657 7 дней назад

how many do you have to list, these all so much, but i am trying to be awaear and try to embrace the new change. (my list of what i have: 1, 2, 3.5, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and 12) I know understand that im in hell.

@MugabiJB 8 дней назад

What's the difference between being codependent and being kind?

@irfangumelar5404 8 дней назад

Boundaries.

@ReeseBose-db8tj 8 дней назад

I think codependency is rooted in fear, kindness is rooted in love.

@juliakristinamah 6 дней назад

@@ReeseBose-db8tj you got it! Another way to see it as codependency comes from a place of lack, true kindness comes from a place of abundance.

@ReeseBose-db8tj 5 дней назад

@@juliakristinamah thank you that's a great explanation also!!

@t_nels 8 дней назад

I'm expected to be codependent and I'm not going for it. I'm empathic and I love to be around people. I'm an extrovert that has been isolated. I'm becoming aware and have to assert. This is a good realization.

@burkejjames 6 дней назад

how have you been made isolated ?

@t_nels 6 дней назад

@@burkejjames That would be a very personal story, but it started with my mother who felt threatened and used control. At times in my life I was able to be me and I am going back to that now that I am an empty nester. I'm embracing going into a new phase of life.

@burkejjames 6 дней назад

isolation is a very serious matter not to be taken lightly , and is a form of emotional and psychological abuse.. i don’t mean to intrude on your personal boundaries , but only asked because you mentioned , and it is not healthy nor something you or anyone else should have to endure.

@t_nels 6 дней назад

@@burkejjames It was probably because she grew up in war and ended up out of what she was familiar and secure in. In my early years we in the city and we were around family and neighbors. Two blocks in a newly constructed subdivision and we had a lot of neighbors to play with. We moved from that to a part of the state that didn't have houses close together had cabins which is a 24/7 at home style life. Isolation can be feeling different, having no family and not having opportunity. It can be control.

@burkejjames 6 дней назад

it sounds like the time from a child growing up and moving away left you feeling unhappy struggling to cope with the sadness of isolation or the separation from others you had known and now instead faced loneliness. there are ways to work through old feelings and find a comfortable position beyond these obstacles. i’m not a professional , but a lot of times it can be doing something creative: maybe write a letter to yourself is a common suggestion I’ve heard , or play some music on an instrument or sing some melodies you feel , maybe dig up rocks and build a wall in your garden , paint watercolors , write some poems , etc. something you can do that makes you feel free as you get past trauma lurking within the spirit. there are always places to go and ways to find others to share common interests , maybe make it a class on writing poems , or playing backgammon , chess , racquetball , origami , tai chi chuan , whatever feels adventurous.

@nishasankaran 7 дней назад

Being co-d is exhausting

@juliakristinamah 6 дней назад

Yes - as long as we are trying to fill that void with hustling for our worthiness, it is absolutely going to be.

@Slechy_Lesh 8 дней назад

2:22

@yasho. 8 дней назад

She described my life 😂

@zachlock4456 8 дней назад

Wow this was an eye opener, I didn't realize how bad I was. Trying to be introspective, but curious, what makes someone like this?

@rosablue4105 8 дней назад

Ref Notes : 4 / 6 / 8 / 9 still working on these but this stems from my inner childhood wounds Slowly seeing and acknowledging and applying change one day at a time Thank you Christina to shed light on this topic and more I appreciate you very much ❤️

@sharenvierra5606 8 дней назад

My son is codependent. His wife is a bully abuser. He is sooo unhappy and eludes that he could leave eventually. But I do not think he ever will. I see it as a munchausen-type condition. He just stays in hoping he will get some appreciation, just a little bit, just be validated in some small way. It is so very sad.

@juliakristinamah 6 дней назад

Oh Sharen, I can only imagine how painful that must be to stand by and watch this happen.

@chrisdigitalartist 8 дней назад

My notes and thoughts on Julia’s RU-vid video (09/20/2024), Codependency Self-Test: How to know if you are codependent. I shared before on sign number 3, but I think where I still sort of struggle with is sign number 4. I think I may need to really reflect on where I need to really place boundaries in my life. I think I find it difficult because I think that maybe I don’t need to place that many boundaries but then I realize it isn’t the quantity of boundaries but the quality! Haha In other words, where are the most important areas in my life I can place boundaries? That is something I will need to reflect more on. Here are the notes: Sign #1: You often feel responsible for other people's problems. Sign #2: You find it difficult to say "no" even when you're overwhelmed. Sign #3: You constantly seek validation or approval from others in order to feel good about yourself. Sign #4: You really struggle to set and maintain your boundaries. Sign #5: You have a fear of being rejected or abandoned if you don't meet other people's expectations. Sign #6: You often put other people's needs ahead of your own, even when it negatively affects you. Sign #7: You reel really uncomfortable when other people are unhappy, and you feel like it's your job to keep the energy up. Sign #8: You need to avoid conflict or go to great lengths to keep the peace, even if it means compromising your own needs. Sign #9: You find yourself feeling really guilty when you look out for yourself. Sign #10: Your moods are often dependent on how other people around you are feeling. Sign #11: You often feel like you're walking on eggshells and worry about upsetting other people. Sign# 12: When someone has a problem, you feel an urge to fix it for them or feel like you're being a bad or selfish person if you don't.

@rosablue4105 8 дней назад

Thank you for your notes 😊

@chrisdigitalartist 8 дней назад

@@rosablue4105 You're welcome!

@MeSaytan День назад

the real test is getting everyone to be codependant 100% of the time, and trying to help everyone as much as possible in smart ways, while being ENCOURAGED for being you, instead of being told your wrong and bad for it by a the-rapist. It sure is odd how therpy is only about trashing the client and making them feel good about having problems or being in error. Not relevant.

@cloudslady3400 2 дня назад

My mom was an extreme codependent to the point I never heard her acknowledging her needs or going for them in any way no matter how simple they are she’s a huge self hater..yet she is not a people pleaser she’s avoidant and neglectful of herself and others..so the misconception that all codependents are anxious is completely false…even dismissive avoidants could exhibit their own version of codependency by not showing any needs and self repression while they also repress the need of other people..! The result ? She ended up with a narcissist who is obsessed with pushing her neglect to turn to care for his own pleasure…which he achieved at times but then there was nothing left to come out of her…he steps over her boundaries treat her like garbage and she doesn’t show any reaction she doesn’t have any…which instead of making him discard her made him more motivated to harm her until she perceive him as powerful and scary or whatever

@stevecatanio8532 4 дня назад

Attached or not attached. I still think you're insanely scalding 🔥🔥🔥

@InsomniaticVampire 2 дня назад

How do i know whether I'm acting out of codependency or reacting to the people around me?

@michelleveloni1329 6 дней назад

How do I get these 6 tips. Thank you for this video!

@melyndafrazer1962 7 дней назад

I set a big boundary this Wednesday with my boss and the nurse on a case that I wasn’t going to do something out of safety for ME and my patient and that I was to be relieved from her care immediately. I stood up for myself and I just figured out that I felt guilty at first. But it was CRUCIAL that I set and stand strong behind MY boundary and I did. It was uncomfortable for the first couple of days, but I’ve been matter of fact, and they get it now!! I’m proud of myself. 🎉

@juliakristinamah 6 дней назад

It sounds like you trusted your professional judgment and stood by that despite the pressure not to, and that you feel really good about that.

@melyndafrazer1962 6 дней назад

@@juliakristinamahyes, they haven’t said anything to me and I’m so glad. They know I’m not kidding!