Consideration if fostering teens

Подписаться 333 тыс.

Просмотров 138 тыс.

50% 1

An important consideration for current/hopeful foster parents of teens! Young people ALL need help as they enter adulthood. You could be the person that helps them get set up with school, a career path, housing, and most importantly, you can be the person to offer mentorship and support. Do you think about this before saying yes to a teen?
Thank you to Dr. Danisha Keating for sharing this insight with me on my podcast 💛 Listen to the full episode here: • Interview with FFY and...
Dr. Danisha Keating offers education and support to families and young people as they leave foster care and set out to achieve their dreams.
Do you foster teens? Let me know in the comments some ways you support them through the transition to adulthood! ⬇️
Looking for more? I offer 1:1 DM support (plus checklists and templates) on Patreon for as little as $1. / fosterparenting
Find Me on Social Media:
Instagram: / foster.parenting
Tiktok: / fosterparenting
Facebook: / foster.parent.partner

Опубликовано:

10 июл 2023

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 228

@ianaliciaperry5243 Год назад

This is so important!! Especially in this economy, we should be supporting young people into adulthood, especially those who are also healing from trauma. 💜

@calicocakes795 11 месяцев назад

I'm in the UK, I got moved out at 16, had no choice. It was awful 😢

@zacgallenlover911 Год назад

YES. 100 freaking percent. My mom always told her teens i am here for you even when you go. Her last stayed with us through college. My dad made one of my foster sisters her favorite meal of his her whole pregnancy (in her 20s with a stable partner). My parents have so many kids. Also consider they have no where to turn and aging out is so scary. You need to look at yourself and think … Can i support THAT trauma? Can i be there through EVERYTHING? can i be a parent forever? ❤❤❤❤❤ Loveeee this interview laura

@bri5155 Год назад

Your parents sound amazing!

@zacgallenlover911 Год назад

@@bri5155I’m beyond blessed. I have a group of “lost boys” (like peter pan)- girls 17-21 that need a little guidance. Super recently one of them got alcohol poisoning (please no shaming she has a really difficult time) and i took her to the ER. My mama asked if my friend wanted her to come and stayed awake until 5AM when we got home. Her mom called to yell at her and fell asleep. I don’t like to compare situations but that night i felt horrible for every single time i didn’t treat my mom like the blessing and queen she is.

@nyxskids 11 месяцев назад

My mom worked in CPS and had foster kids. Lots of us. 5 of us remain together even though she passed last year. I think she would've found your parents to be kindred spirits.

@my_guiding_key Год назад

i had a huge fear of being abandoned once i turned 18, but my mother was incredibly amazing and officially adopted me once i finally did turn.

@emmmahezw 7 месяцев назад

I hope you continue to have a beautiful life surrounded by people who love you.

@cynthiaandvern Год назад

I know I saw a video of an apartment complex that had been built to help teenagers aging out of foster care designed to help these teens learn to adult. It's came furnished, and they supplied food and utilities, but also cooking classes and taught them how to do laundry and how to manage money and get a job, or help with schooling. They could stay until they gained some financial stability, started a career, etc. I think it's a great idea, and could be a solution for the homeless as well as fosters, and the education parts should extend beyond to anyone that needs it.

@nikkiritchie7535 Год назад

I’m from Kentucky and foster teen girls. Kentucky has a program like this too. Independent living for foster kids who have turned 18 and RECOMMITTED TO THE STATE…. the all caps part is the key thing here. They have to recommit and it’s not indefinitely.. they can only live there for a certain number of years and they have to work or go to school full time, as well as comply with things their social worker wants them to do- go to therapy, continue taking medications, etc. this program is only for kids who want to be in it…. And sadly a lot of them do not chose this route, they turn 18 and sometimes reconnect with their family… which isn’t always the best thing for them… but they are adults at that point and get to make those choices on their own at that point.

@gabrielladavidson2938 Год назад

If I was a millionaire this is the type of shit I would do. Which is incidentally why I'll never have a million dollars

@notaperson9831 11 месяцев назад

Tbh I need this at 30. Was never in foster care but I’ve had a rough life, even tho my parents tried their best and were always a safe place for me. This world is tough for anyone, let alone kids growing up with trauma

@charmedleblanc 9 месяцев назад

@@gabrielladavidson2938 I thought I was the only person that wanted to do this if I won the lottery 😯. I always have wanted to work with teenagers/young adults. I'm disabled so not allowed to foster 😢. To poor to also,

@emmmahezw 7 месяцев назад

@@notaperson9831same here. I went through human trafficking, SV, and other things and the abuse lasted for years. People don’t just magically recover from that sort of thing, and I wish when I finally got out of that situation that I had a place to go where I was comforted, given access to therapy and community, and taught all of the things that I missed out on in early adulthood like money management, emotional regulation, what healthy relationships with family and partners look like, how to manage physical health, and everything else that comes with getting older. Just like a place you could go to and say, “hey I’ve got years of trauma to unpack and I need help to become a productive member of society again (or help just becoming a person again and not a shell of a woman.)”

@Lolabunnyisgorg Год назад

YES 👏 👏 When I was a teenager our family fostered an 18 year old girl. We made this decision specifically because we were told it would not be long term, and that we would simply be the transition family for when she can be placed with another family, or reunited with her own. We were new to fostering and were kind of thrown into it because she had just arrived to our area, and she was exactly what our family was suited for, and she needed a family ASAP. She ended up staying with us until she was around 25, not reunited with her own family, and continuing on in her life. And yes, I consider her my sister, and she melded with the family very well, and I love her so much. But I just wish that this sort of thing was disclosed before, so we could have been more prepared to help her when she arrived.

@TerraFermentata Год назад

Our daughter came to us at 16. She turned 18 and graduated this year. We are so glad that she wants to stay with us at least another year and work towards a college degree online! She is such an amazing kiddo.

@charmedleblanc 9 месяцев назад

So glad she's happy to stay with you guys. And so glad you want and can afford to let her.

@PlutosAsleep Год назад

people whom let teens stay to 24 have a beautiful place in heaven.

@zacgallenlover911 Год назад

My grandpa introduced his foster parents to his children and visited them at least every month. You can make a true impact on someone. It is a huge responsibility tho.

@Tadpole_Exists Год назад

Yes!! as a foster kid (who is a teenager) I kost likly will need support into my adult years, and that is the question you need to ask yourself

@caitlinsmith9001 2 месяца назад

Big hugs. I'm working on getting approved to foster/adopt teenagers because I believe everyone needs a good family that supports and teaches them through life that extends past 18. You matter.

@Tadpole_Exists 2 месяца назад

@@caitlinsmith9001 And you, my friend, are what people need. You're doing a great thing!!

@caitlinsmith9001 2 месяца назад

Just know my heart and home is open to all kids that want/need a family even if they technically age out of foster. You can never "age out" of family, at least, that's how I was raised,and how I've raised all of my kids.

@Tadpole_Exists 2 месяца назад

@@caitlinsmith9001 You're going to be a great foster parent, I can already tell!!

@caitlinsmith9001 2 месяца назад

Thank you, I really hope that I will be.

@Easilyentertainedhere Год назад

In Washington they can stay in system voluntarily until 21. The foster parents continue to receive the support and young adult has a lot of support to finish high school and attend college or get going on a great trade then helping them settle in to an apartment of their own.

@ClaireRader Год назад

I would love to see this being asked more. My mom would have happily let her fosters stay longer. It wasn't allowed at the time. Her biological kids were allowed to stay until finished with school and all necessary training for our career was done. I know she wanted to do the same for her fosters.

@msb5775 Год назад

How was it not allowed? It’s not like the police can show up and demand that the foster kid leave her house when she’s given permission for them to live there. Maybe she wouldn’t keep getting paid so she couldn’t afford it but that’s not the same thing as not being allowed to.

@Aelffwynn Год назад

@@msb5775I wouldn't be surprised if some terrible people took teens in, in order to traffic them as soon as they aged out. That could be a reason for that law. But I am only guessing.

@ClaireRader Год назад

@Aelffwynn I don't know if it was necessarily a law but that does make sense.

@ClaireRader Год назад

@msb5775 My mom was told in training that she wasn't allowed to offer and the case workers started coaching the fosters on getting their own place when they turned 17 so that when they turned 18 and were graduated from High School they knew how to do everything. My mom was allowed to help them look for places to stay and college scholarships. The foster agency continued to coach them to move out until they did and then helped them move. My mom was also allowed to maintain relationships with them doing anything else a parent would for their child. They just couldn't live with us and had to support themselves. As far as money goes, my mom had to prove that she could provide for her family and the fosters without pay from foster care. She also had to keep their money separate and keep track of what she spent it on. Most of it was given back to them when they moved out.

@yepimonyoutube 10 месяцев назад

If she wanted to continue to foster others yes. But she could have let them stay and once they did eventually move out resume fostering again.

@jojobeanstudio1339 Год назад

I wasn't in foster care, my great aunt raised me but I was forced to leave at 19. I had to quit school and my job I was in love with working with kids to work at a lab. Now I'm 24 and I'm a stripper. In a way from what I saw others experience it might be better for me to have turned out like this. Most girls I work with have had to resort to dancing due to their parents not caring for them. A couple weeks ago me and 5 other girls all in the room at the same time talked about how our parents didn't hug is or say they loved us. I have extreme anxiety from being abandoned by my mom at 6 years old, and living with someone who emotionally mainly but sometimes physically abused me. I love dancing bc I can work 2 days a week and live off that, but it worries me that my anxiety will take over and I'll never be able to go back to a 40+ hour work week.

@vicgamesvt9682 Год назад

Im so sorry you had to go through that but please know that with getting help and coping with your anxiety you will be able to work full time. If you are making alot of money from stripping than live below your means and save some, this will smoothen the transition to career work and provide you with money that could be used for a house or retirement savings. Lastly stay strong and stay positive.

@bittenrevell3977 Год назад

You strong and brave❤️

@kiwimiwi5452 Год назад

I am 18 right now and I could NOT imagine having to move out now. My parents own our house and have repeatedly made it clear that our rooms will always stay our rooms and we can stay as long as we like and there's always space for us to come back home if life isn't going well.

@ashleydavis2355 11 месяцев назад

Absolutely! We weren't official foster parents but the son of a friend moved in with us right before he turned 17. He lived with us until he got engaged at 21. He's still got stuff here and they come over for dinner about once a month with their 2 girls. You can't just throw a kid on their butt when they hit an arbitrary age. They still need support, love, and a home base.

@jjody 7 месяцев назад

uff I love that y’all were there for him n that you get to see the fruits of your kindness💚

@ashleydavis2355 7 месяцев назад

@@jjody it was so easy. Well, maybe easy isn't the right word. He had an drug/alcohol problem, an anger problem and had been in the early stages of joining a gang. He made a few bad decisions that eventually led to him getting arrested. Plus we are white and live in a very white town and he's a variant of not white (being deliberately vague here for privacy reasons, just in case...im not trying to be disgusting I promise) and from the opposite side of the country so in addition to the things he was actually doing, he was having people be all suspicious of him just for his melanin. And his anger problem just exacerbated the fallout from that and at the time we didn't have all the tools we should've had for that particular issue. And he was suicidal for a good bit of time. God, it was so hard there for awhile (as if parenting any child in any capacity is some sort of cake walk🙄😂) But it was never hard to love him. Idk if that's because he came into our lives when he was 12 and we met his mom or what but from the minute he moved in with us, he was ours in our minds. It's been several years now but he calls us mom and dad. His fiance says "hey your mom/dad is on the phone when we call. And his kids call us grandma and grandpa. I can't imagine my life without any of them. Taking in a teenager is a LOT of hard work. They've been through all kinds of shit. Oftentimes they never learned healthy coping mechanisms when they were little, so they're trying to deal with a lot of heavy things without the proper tools in their toolbox. Plus you throw hormones into the mix and it can be like throwing gasoline onto a fire. But hot damn, they can absolutely flourish once they feel secure. It's a beautiful thing to get to witness.

@timgreen2426 Год назад

I’ve been seeing so many videos of kids turning 18 and being kicked out on their 18th birthday. Just dropped off with a garbage bag of stuff at a park or at a shelter. It is absolutely heartbreaking. They don’t stand a chance and they were never anything more than a paycheck to those people.

@hannahk1306 2 месяца назад

In my opinion, behaviour like that makes them unsuitable to be foster parents and they shouldn't get another placement.

@AbbeyPrice-rx3rb Год назад

I'm in this situation as a young person in care and its difficult during the few months before their 18th birthday and it's very difficult to mentally prepare for

@musicislifesings Год назад

such an important point that doesnt get brought up that often, thank you for highlighting that children need support even if they are "aged out"

@tracishafer9190 Год назад

I agree, as a 9 year CASA, that xhooses to work with teens, it is difficult to see them age out and nowhere to go. The new Extended Care Act was a blessing for teens, but they need thar support to transition into adulthood.

@tracywofford3384 Год назад

Yes! Transitional age youth need so much help!!❤❤❤

@mkburwell9523 Год назад

I don't know if I'll ever be in a position where I'm able, but I would love to foster/adopt teens to be able to give them that support after they age out. I'm currently in my early 20s, and I would not have survived without the support of my family.

@seasnailsplatoon762 10 месяцев назад

Same here. I had an abusive dad and an imperfect-but-good mom. In my mom's native country, it is the norm that adult children live with their parents until they leave for school/job or marriage. My dad wanted to boot us out at 18 with NO support. Well, he died when I was 12, so my mom got her way in supporting us for as long as we needed. I am doing well now, but I NEVER would have without support into adulthood... if my dad had his way, I wouldn't be surprised if alternate-me fell into drugs and abusive relationships. I agree with my mom. What is the point of inviting a child into your family, but then it has an arbitrary time limit?...

@charmedleblanc 9 месяцев назад

I have wonderful parents, especially my Mom. If I'd been turned out at 18 despite having already graduated I probably wouldn't be here.

@Bllue Год назад

In the recent Shazaam movie, Mary was still living with in the group home even though she was about 20. I loved that they showed that it's possible to stay and not just get kicked out because the system no longer supports 18+

@jahqwelin Год назад

Never even thought about that, great point.

@lemonlemonlemonlemonlemonl5363 Год назад

I'm so glad this is being brought up! it's important to keep supporting them at least a while longer, or your work will have been for nothing. many systems and resources kick people out when they turn 18 and they're left to fend for themselves.

@s.sprotectionsquad8880 Год назад

Being Ace I don’t want to have biological kids so my dream has always been to foster and adopt teenagers. I’m well aware of how awful teens get treated in the foster/adoption system and I want to be able to give them a place to stay/go back to no matter how old they are

@andreaslightangels Год назад

And when they are 40, they become a friend.❤

@emmakeane8674 10 месяцев назад

my foster sibling from age 8-12 just moved backed in, we are both 21 now. young people need support, thank you for sharing!!!

@emmaharper14 Год назад

I love your content right now there are a lot of foster teams in the system I think it's always been that way would love to see more content about them please if possible

@markp8295 Год назад

In the U.K. there is recent change to take it to 21 to help people get a better footing in life.

@tonychorley4936 Год назад

That is better, but would you chuck out your birth children at 21. Ours stay as long as is needed and come back whenever they want.

@markp8295 Год назад

@@tonychorley4936 I would not, but many people do. By 21 they have been with us for at least 4 years, probably longer. So we will have put a fair bit in their savings account. That plus a job or possibly welfare, is enough to live on in our area in relative comfort.

@WiseMoose Год назад

Oh ya- I want them to stay forever and always have a place to come home to. Holidays to come home to. Parents forever to love and support them.

@franciannecollson7427 Год назад

A friend of mine aged out of a boys home at 17. Now in his mid 60s he still functions as an adolescent. Little self discipline, no idea of money management and always depends on others for a safety net.

@Lauren-hc1zz Год назад

Omg yes. Like there your kids now. Forever.

@told1158 Год назад

that's a great Short bc we as parents don't necessarily make or want our children to leave before they are ready

@Svartr.HrafnSvartr Год назад

I was allowed to stay in my foster home for an additional 2 weeks after my 18th birthday because it was so close to the end of the school year. Otherwise, I was dumped into adulthood with zero life skills and zero support. I basically returned to my father's house who had become a hoarder in his depression. He stopped paying the bills and my 92-year-old grandmother and I were forced to shelter in a dark house with no heat, besides a wood fireplace, during a very cold winter. We had icy running water and that was it. I was pregnant during this time but we were able to get an apartment shortly before I gave birth to my son. I'm not sure if additional time in the foster home without some education about personal finances and other adulting knowledge would be beneficial. There definitely needs to be a better transition period and ongoing support.

@fredrika27 Год назад

BTW, there was a story about a foster couple who took their aged out foster siblings to Georgia and left them there when they turned 18. The boy made it back to Chicago to his bio family. The girl who was special needs hasn't been heard from and its been several months now. I have knots in my stomach and broke down and cried that foster parents could do this to those kids.

@Alice-si8uz 11 месяцев назад

I hope they have or are going to be prosecuted. Doesn't matter that the boy made it back safely she still put him in a lot of danger. The girl might as well be a murder or manslaughter charge.

@redxfingernails Год назад

Absolutely‼️ thank you for bringing awareness

@peaches4044 Год назад

Exactly. I would think always consider them as family

@animefreak1149 11 месяцев назад

I can’t believe 18 is considered an adult!! A teenager!! I just read an article saying that you’re still a juvenile until 25. I’m still living with my parents because of the rent and housing crisis. It’s impossible without help.

@jillbecker9535 Год назад

I LOVE THIS!!

@Apple-rt3uh 11 месяцев назад

Thankfully we have extended foster care now where I am.. so grateful

@robinevergreen5373 Год назад

Thank you for all of this !!

@wendybarker5211 Год назад

Just like having your own kids, help them the best you can. I was a foster parent for a number of years.

@jatashaiglus165 Год назад

I've always told my kids "my job don't stop just becuz u turned 18.❤❤

@shallowdeep28 11 месяцев назад

Love this! I was in a foster care/group home situation, and had no real support after I went to college. I had no idea how to adult, and had to figure it out on my own.

@tgeetoo9451 Год назад

Important message. Thank you. ❤

@rosemikaelson3708 10 месяцев назад

This is such a good point. So important!

@Need_chocolate24 11 месяцев назад

Exactly! This is so so so important. Many people assume that teens, especially those who have aged out of foster care, don’t need help or support, but this couldn’t be further than the truth.

@fabwolves6461 Год назад

I'm 19 and plan to foster late teenagers. Growing up with a stable home has made me realise just how important it is for teens. I've always hoped that I could be the ones to get them on their feet, give them the support, education, empathy and home they need to enjoy life. To be a stable home they can always return to. This podcast was very informative, thank you so much 🥰☺️

@brindmusicnerd Год назад

Yes!!!!!

@christalcavanaugh 4 месяца назад

I’m 25 and looking into fostering in the coming years, and the idea of a foster child staying with me until they’re my age is both intimidating and beautiful!

@sg-cg6lr Год назад

Wow she's figured it out. M makes me wonder if she herself was a foster youth. That type of insight has got to come from some sort of personal experience.

@michelewalburn4376 11 месяцев назад

We have a new apartment complex that is for kids aging out of foster care and homeless 18-25 year olds. What a beautiful blessing. This is going to save so many of our youth from floundering.

@jessallenbaugh6945 9 месяцев назад

I’ve been saying this for the last few years whenever the topic of kids comes up. I don’t want kids of my own but am looking into fostering or adopting teens. Because they are often overlooked and they deserve love just as much as the little kids, and they absolutely deserve more than a swift kick in the behind the second they turn 18 and the funding gets cut off on them. If I do decide to go that route, those kids best believe that they will always be able to come to me for help no matter what age they are!

@sabrinawhite7185 11 месяцев назад

My son is 27 and he still lives at home. He said he's not ready to live on his own. It's a big step.

@shalvahmbmacdonald8487 Год назад

Incredibly important & supportive.

@pencils7351 Год назад

That's something I've known from the beginning, ever since I first considered fostering. I want to make a safe place for teens in the system, that stays even after they leave it I'm 19 rn. When I was 15-16, my plan was to move out as soon as I graduated high school (which would've been 5 months after turning 18). I didn't have much of a solid plan, I just wanted out of that situation, and it changed before the rock hit the hard place. I haven't moved out yet, since I have the option I'm taking a little more time. My plans for fostering are far in the future, but I know that every kid I foster will have a place with me as long as they need it

@larascott4877 Год назад

If i foster or adopt they can stay with me for life if they want ❤

@Aboutaprincess 11 месяцев назад

Thr goal of raising children is to teach them to be productive members of society. You would be doing them a huge disservice if you enable them for their entire life.

@bob.iscool3845 Год назад

fr, i had a mate who was in the foster system and when he turned 16 he was put in a supported accommodation - basically a tiny block of flats with a social worker on site to make sure everyone was OK. just before he turned 18 he was given some help to get set up with a flat. he was told that there was no deposit, but there was, and he couldn’t afford it. social workers gave him the numbers of a few homelessness charities and left. he ended up flat sharing with a drug dealer for a couple months before getting himself into shared accommodation.

@cherylcorbett5829 9 месяцев назад

Thank you for this video! I’m not wanting to have children of my own but have thought about fostering/adopting an older child.

@Sorkabeth 10 месяцев назад

I used to work in a transitional living program for homeless young mothers who were between 18 and 21. We were a very small program & I was just the childcare provider for their kids while the mothers went to work or school but I know how long our waiting list was and how great the need for services for young people who've just turned 18. Also, while in high school, my little sister brought home a friend who had been being fostered by her uncle & his devoutly muslim wife. My bio sister's friend is queer so the house she'd been living in was hostile to her, and they kicked her out a week after turning 18, even though she hadn't finished high school yet. So my sister brought her home, and my parents let her stay, under the condition that she'd have to accept being "parented," which, she really hadn't been before. She lived with my parents for about 10 years. She is my sister in every way that matters. She's in her 30s, married, good job. She cried the first time she came home with a certificate, and mom put it up on the refrigerator because no one had ever done that for her before.

@charmedleblanc 9 месяцев назад

Love your family 😊

@akcland5349 10 месяцев назад

Even further, “are you open to adult adoption” is a great question to ask.

@victoriagreen4433 Год назад

Wow. I’m amazed at this. I’m normally against fostering. But if they were like these parents it’d be great

@TITSTODIEFOR Год назад

I really had not thought about this.

@nogrimley4663 4 месяца назад

This is the QUESTION!!!!

@happygoluckyh.t.d.4life.739 11 месяцев назад

My son lucked out, he got the best foster parent ever but after a few devastating situations with previous care givers. She kept every cent paid to her and gave it back to him. He owns his own home which she divided her property and used the saved money to buy him a tralier plus he owns all his own electronics. He has his on mail box and heating bills. He is on his own yet still cared for and he is now almost 30. he has been with her since he was 13. I was unable to care for him and if it had not been for this lady my life has well has his would not be this good.

@andreabee9474 10 месяцев назад

That is so important! Biological kids often return home multiple times

@gemmajanning4567 11 месяцев назад

I want to be a foster mom and I want to foster teens and be there for them forever❤

@weesieyoutubesminecraft3214 7 месяцев назад

That’s really valid, I feel this is probably how most of the kids who age out of the system end up on the streets or in unsafe situations

@janemoana6393 Год назад

I love this!

@FloridaGardeningdiva 10 месяцев назад

This is totally correct we have a 19 year old in college. We want to make sure she has a safe place through college. We did encourage her to get a small job and show her good financial habits. We have taught her that investments in a ira early even if its a small amount adds up for her later in life. We encourage bank accounts for teens allowing them to budget there funds wisely..teens can be much harder and alot of hormonal emotions. Be prepared for blow up, fights and how to deal with those issues. Example, i had one teen that came from another foster home, that hung out with gang members, stole cars, ect. He was a tuff cookie but we finally in calm manner got through to him after 2 years. Yes, it took that long. He graduates this coming year. And has a sports scholarship. Im so proud of how hes changed.

@BlyssfulStorm 11 месяцев назад

This is honestly the reason I want to foster. I hate seeing teens find a comfortable home in their mid to late teens, then the moment they turn 18, they are alone again.

@fredrika27 Год назад

When I was a foster, I went off to university, then returned to my foster mother for breaks and summer. In our state, foster parents were paid when their charges went off to college to offset the costs. Unfortunately, my foster mother didn't tell me this and had me paying rent along with the state check that I wasn't getting any part of because I worked all the time earning my own money and was on scholarship. Now, I know my foster parents loved me, but often times I felt "tolerated" regardless of how hard I worked, being a good kid with good grades or what achievements I made. Another question foster parents should ask themselves is if they can LOVE their foster kids after the checks stop and if they can actually treat them like a part of the family and not the childminder or maid. These are important questions for foster parents. Foster usually wind up on the street without family to go to, making birthdays and holidays lonely and depressing. Often time CPA puts us in cities where we don't have family, friends or know anyone so that we don't run away. That the US claims they are a child friendly country is BS because what they give the most vulnerable citizens as a head start is questionable in every sense of the word. Good question that need to be supported by our government!

@a_diamond 11 месяцев назад

❤ very, very true... ❤

@jaybird7369 11 месяцев назад

I was literally just talking about how if I was fostering older and one of my adults needs help I would pause my fostering for a bit cause I want to be a safe passing into adulthood and the "real world" and that includes being an adult who needs help with something new (I'm 19 and was in the system as a baby before my mum got me back, this is a plan for far into the future when I'm able to give someone the best pathway and resources)

@suen5006 Год назад

In WA foster parents get support until the youth is 21, which is is great. Life is so expensive, I can't imagine making on my own at 18 in this area.

@amyvanlangen645 9 месяцев назад

We adopted our last 2 fosters. The youngest still lives at home at 22. We also have a girl he worked with living with us. She will be 21 next month.

@Hamenjy 10 месяцев назад

I was so sad and heartbroken when my parents essentially kicked out all of the foster kids we had with us. They were our longest siblings 4 years+ and because they didn’t get paid anymore, they just sent them back to their family. I was so angry and pissed off when I found out about it a couple of years later. I always thought that they just had a wonderful reunion with their bio family. So naive and stupid of me.

@aroundtheworldin80coffees79 Год назад

Laura, you've covered reunification beautifully in a few videos. I know you usually have younger ones, but how do you manage a foster kid who is aging out?,

@LDaemontus 6 месяцев назад

This is a question that parents of biological or adopted children need to ask themselves, too. So many parents throwing their kids out right on 18 or as close as possible and its heartbreaking.

@jackieanddashadventures 10 месяцев назад

This is so true! An 18 year is hardly ever prepared for the world

@bradyreynolds6844 Год назад

I’m a foster parent recruiter located in Ohio. I just found this channel and would love to to speak with someone about a partnership and potentially speaking as a keynote!

@caitlinsmith9001 2 месяца назад

What part of Ohio? I'm in Ohio and looking into what I need to do so I can be a foster parent

@goodandgreen Год назад

My life would be completely different if I didn’t have to move out precisely one day after being 17. (from foster care) I was without any support (for help problem solving or paying rent) and even now looking back I was terrified a lot of the first few years. I’m permanently disabled now and falling through the cracks again. Why are most basic parts of life so difficult when you don’t have enough money? 😢

@aligracesherbalplace6159 11 месяцев назад

yes. that's the point of fostering teens for me. keeping them out of group homes, off the streets, and have a safe place. yes that teen will be staying as long as they want to stay. if I'm a foster parents I'm foster mama and mama doesn't let any baby land out in thier ass in the cold.

@trinahorton8839 Год назад

Exactly. I can’t wait till I can do this for teenagers. The only thing stopping us is our dogs. They’re not violent but they are anxious and that can be scary for kids and teenagers.

@materialgawd2748 10 месяцев назад

This is so true. I ran away at 18 and I'm still trying to find my feet at 24

@fable8335 Год назад

My husband and I want to foster older teens, specifically to give them the option to stay with us as long as they want. Both of us had bad childhoods, and we want to be able to give kids about to age out a safety net, where they'll always be welcome no matter what

@Hi_Im_Akward Год назад

My impression of what the mindset for fostering should be is simultaneously thinking of yourself as a parent for that child and knowing your not and potentially having to let them go and respect boundaries of the bioparents and limitations of the foster system. It sounds so incredibly difficult. I don't know what people normally think of it as, but I can't imagine welcoming a child into my home and - excluding extreme complications and situations - expecting it to be short term because you didn't want a long term commitment. I don't claim to understand or know how it all works but my assumption is there is a potential for kids needing cared for longer term than what is "normal" or "average". And I would think that fostering a teenager, knowing their current situation is really rough, how could people think that day 1 of adulthood is automatically going to be them knowing how to adult.

@kricachula7546 11 месяцев назад

My fosters are all in their 30s and they can stay any time they want. I reserve a whole room in my house for one in particular if she ever needs it with her kids. Another one is godparent to my younger child. I just signed for a car loan for another one.... for the second time. Until 24? No ma'am. I'm in for life.

@kellyjewell1899 Год назад

❤❤❤ YES!!!

@kitcat-xn1mn 7 месяцев назад

I wish id had someone like you

@destiny19822000 Год назад

THIS!!!❤

@mercedesamoree1234 Год назад

My grandparents have fostered for years and they always end up with the teenagers in the Native American tribe associations, cause those are usually the ones that are brought to them because of issues with their parents being criminals and all that. Anyway, almost every single one of them has become a permanent part of our family and they never plan on “getting rid of them” because as long as they do their part like chores and dishes, then they can stay with them as long as they want. After a year or so all of them actually started to call my grandma “mom” that’s how close they got. And usually once the kids turn 18 and are free from the wrath of their biological parents, most of them actually choose to be legally adopted by my grandparents and then they end up being at every family get together in the future. It’s really awesome. So don’t be afraid of your teen foster kids staying with you longer than they are supposed to, because if you know you were really meant to be a foster parent, you would know that you will love those children as your own and that you should want them to be a part of your family too

@MommasGotInk77 11 месяцев назад

It's definitely an important question to ask. Personally, if I was a foster mother who fostered teenagers, there's no way in hell I'd be able to basically kick them out when they turned 18. They'd already be considered family; I wouldn't care that they weren't still in the system and I'd no longer be receiving compensation. Honestly I'd let them stay as long as they needed because they'd likely already have a bond with my bio children and I'd certainly never kick my bio children out at 18. I always thought it was really cold how teenagers who aged out of care were treated. They still need love, support, and guidance; that doesn't just stop when they turn 18.

@willowwhisps1339 Год назад

I'm not in a place where I can foster yet, but its always been my dream and your channel is so helpful! As a side, I had assumed that fostering teens would be a part of that, and as I've been exploring the community I am flabbergasted thag people really assumed teens would be out at 18? I had always assumed that if I fostered teens they would stay until they got a job or graduated college or whatever? Like, that's what parents do, so why wouldn't foster parents if that's what's needed?

@kelliquinn1342 Год назад

❤ amen people need to realize when children start off with a rough life, it may take some a little extra time to bloom❤ it's a real problem out there and I wish there was a way that the government but hang in there with those children until they were 24. There is a huge gap here. Some cool programs like matching seniors and 18 year olds.-24. Two groups of people who really need the opposite❤❤❤❤❤ The young adults gain wisdom from the seniors & Seniors have purpose, and somebody to keep an eye on them

@CS-xl9xv Год назад

I know several people who became homeless at 18 as foster kids. One of my friends still calls his foster mom from that time mom which is shocking to me

@KatTheo431 5 месяцев назад

I left my foster home the day I turned 18. I didn't want to stay. The problem with extended foster care is that there are a lot of rules and foster parents can be controlling and even teens who are good kids are just tired of everyone telling them what to do and the system running their lives. I've seen some of these foster care influencers with crazy rules for teens with limits on their phones and social lives and that's exactly why so many teens do choose not to stay in extended foster care. They want to be normal teens and have some ability to run their own lives. I enlisted in the military, so it wasn't like I had a lot of freedom but it was better than my foster home.

@mirroravis Год назад

I love this. Yeah, my husband and I got married at 24 and we're still living with his parents. The economy is ROUGH.

@Kmk7268 Год назад

I’ve seen a RU-vid short where a 18 year old girl got dropped off at a bus station bc she fazed out of the system and foster parents dropped her there.😢 inhumane 😢

@Kayla-et7cn 6 месяцев назад

My goal in adopting and fostering is the older crowd for they deserve to have a home. I do not expect to become mom, mother figure, or any of the sort. I expect that when theyre 30 they know they always have a home for holidays and always have a home to eat and sleep with peace at. That there is love for them in the world