Honestly it makes me really curious as to what it looks like because that cosplay is probably some good shit (especially with the red streaked hair detail)
Hm, I have no idea what that guy felt, but I would probably felt similar, but not because of scars. Who cares about scars, but because she is a girl and it's kinda not comfortable to see completely top naked girls at very public gathering. Hm, why they didn't make costume together? Maybe she could cover it, but left scars partially open. I partially, take my words back, that character is full of scars himself. Very fitting and inspirational. I get her. But yeah, maybe she should do it together with him still. You know, it is her partner. Aren't partners should make decisions together. Imagine if he came to convection with giant holes on his pants where his bare ass partially showed. It could be fan costume😂 but not everyone would be ok with that. Don't get me wrong. He is asshole for saying something about scars. She should praise her for being brave.
First story: OP is the asshole. He expected his girlfriend to do a sexy cosplay, but she wanted to do a cosplay that incorporates her scars in a very creative way, then he gets upset for "flaunting her scars". Like, dude! Many people dress up as whatever to have fun. Either get over yourself or break up with her so she can find someone a lot less insecure
If it was a modesty problem where he was raised to be very close off to the idea of her chest (even with the surgery) being out, I might be more empathetic. But it just seems like he didn’t like it wasn’t sexy and that she’s “flaunting her scars” WTF
@@amphibian2982 It's pretty much everything going on in this guy's head. He was expecting his girlfriend to dress up as some generic heroine who flaunts sex appeal, but she chose one that could incorporate her mastectomy scars and he gets pissy about it all. He might as well have just said "I don't care that your cancer took your tiddies! Get semi-nude for me!"
@@Milk-ck1wvHe has the right to be uncomfortable, but he should change his partner so that she can be with someone who can be supportive of what she is trying to do.
I remember hearing that first story before elsewhere - definitely a YTA scenario. The OP *assumed* their GF was going to do something, but when the outcome didn't match *his* expectations, he drew embarrassment from her cosplay. Cosplay doesn't have to be sexy - it's about the craft, dedication, and skill creative people put into it. Plus, she was making the most of her situation. At most, the GF could have had a conversation to set OP's expecations, but when it's meant to be a surprise then that's not really feasible.
The OP even explained how much effort she clearly put into it, going into detail about how well done the scar makeup was Yeah, if someone puts that much effort into something they enjoy, and you complain when it's not hurting you? You are 100% the A hole
@@EvelynnWinters2000 Boy complained mostly because it wasn't as sexy as he expected it to be. She lost her breasts to beat cancer and he's there getting a hard-on, thinking she'd be dressing up as some scantily clad anime waifu. If he doesn't change, he'll end up alone
No!.. "Is the way I'm eating my toast acceptable" is NOT an attempt to diffuse the situation, it's a passive/aggressive way of trying to make the girlfriend feel bad for having symptoms of carrying HIS child!
@@emnorfolk5559Yeah, original post was dead on, but "snap!" to your own comment is quite lame. Giving you the benefit of the doubt I'm going to assume the "snap" was in regards to a comment between the original post and the snap comment that has since been deleted or is not showing for some other reason. You might want to edit that comment, because it really diminishes your original post.
The first story, my jaw actually physically dropped from how fucking sick that cosplay must have been. I have cosplayed Dabi multiple times in the past, but dang it, I'll do it someday the way she did it because that's cool as hell
@@pearlthenephilim My god, does she deserve a much cooler boyfriend. Is he really gonna be salty about this? She had the confidence to ROCK those scars. The con staff didn't complain either, so why did he? Some people, man...
I honestly hate public transport seat etiquette. I remember one time I was absolutely exhausted after a 15-hour graveyard shift as a bartender, and I only wanted to chill during the 1-hour bus drive on the way back, and this couple + the conductor bullied me out of my seat (regular seat) so the couple's kid (around 6-7 yo) could sit. After an entire hour of barely standing on my feet, the couple finally got off the bus and the dad smirked at me and said "Now you can sit", then got offended when I got full sailor mode in my response. Seriously. Just because someone is young doesn't mean they need to be forced out of a seat for someone else.
I do understand and appreciate the etiquette but not when it’s this extreme. I believe you should always give it up to a disabled person or a pregnant person as they genuinely need it especially for safety reasons. However the etiquette is soo bad that when someone who doesn’t look disabled or pregnant requires the seat they are bullied. I have experienced this myself and have constantly been told “I’m too young to have back issues or leg pain” just become m a very young adult. It’s always the old people too. Like the younger people like my generation millennial generation, and gen alpha have always actually listened to me and was excepting when I say “I’m dealing with a back issue could I have your seat” however the older generations will ridicule me and accuse me of lying. It sucks because my bus ride is 1 hour long and I have to wait 45 minutes at the station standing up after a 30 minute walk from my college to the bus station to my back absolutely kills and sometimes my legs feel weak enough to give out sometimes.
After a 15 hours shift and having 1h bus ride while standing, THEN the father said "now you can sit" WHILE smiling, I would certainly have punched him 😂
@@mart664 That makes sense since it's a reference to a Bulgarian phrase. In Bulgaria, we have the phrase "Swears like a sailor", since sailors (at least in our part of the world) have some of the nastiest mouths when it comes to cursing, roasting, and overall using foul language. Getting into sailor mode will make even Ozzy Osbourne blush. :D
I do get the queer kid's mother being worried about her making bigots angry, maybe op should remind her to only say that stuff when it's safe for her, but what they said was a good piece of wisdom and the kid defending herself at church was amazing, good for her
Yeah, all the comments about "maybe the mom's not as accepting as you think" or "she's more worried about the church families opinion than her own daughter" are off base. Honestly sounds like they live in the bible belt, pissing those homophobes off in that area? Fearing for her safety is seriously a worthy and justified concern. It could very well be their good standing with the church is the only thing that keeps her safe just for being out, nevermind actively pissing them off.
I gotta seriously disagree with you on the mom disappointed in her daughter one. You can’t accuse someone of ‘emotional cheating’ just for making a friend while married, if they say they weren’t. It is not the parent’s business AT ALL. My family thought they were helping by punishing me for breaking up with a boyfriend and constantly urging us to get back together but had no idea how he was treating me behind closed doors. My mom apologized to me years later when she realized how bad the relationship actually was. With the person in the story, the parents even KNEW he wasn’t treating her well and still belittled her for her choices while going through something tough. She wasn’t having an affair or hurting anyone now, mind your own business about relationships.
I think you're projecting your own issues onto this post, the mother said that she's still going to support her child and her decision for divorce. She didn't say she was going to punish her in anyway. She just doesn't morally agree with how her daughter did things, and if the daughter was lying to her parents and changing the story obviously she wasn't doing things that her parents would find morally right.
@lucialunar9360 Hard disagree. As a parent who has been in abusive relationships and did not feel like I could talk to anyone about it, I would never judge my child for doing whatever they had to do to get out of a situation I don't know the particulars of other than 'they don't treat my child well'. The vast majority of the time, the situation is gonna be significantly worse than I'm fully aware of.
@@lucialight2002She may have said she wasn't going to punish her daughter for her own assumptions of her daughter's moral judgements... but she already is. What was the point of asking her daughter for the full story, of confronting her with the new details she had learned, except as a form of punishment? The only thing I can think of is that the mother wanted her daughter to feel bad and guilty, knowing that her mother believes her to be a cheater. Her comments were designed to poison her current relationship with her mother's expressed disappointment. If the mother truly felt that she would be supportive either way, she wouldn't have said anything.
It's an incredibly wack and toxic take that finding a new person you befriend and vibe with real well is somehow cheating. And the people saying "WELL SHE LIED" are extremely silly, YES she LIED to her mother and CLEARLY for good reason as her mother took this oppurtunity immediately to guilt and shame her daughter for MAKING A FRIEND. This is literally no more than soeone in a bad relationshp which in the sttory is MUTUALLY AGREED ON by mother and daughter, finding that there is actually people that are worth being with.
the only time this is acceptible was when I was working at walmart and a guy in a mcdonalds uniform told me I should date him cause I could quit my job and play Wii all day. If that's not your pickup line though I don't want to hear it.
It's not super weird to meet someone while in a bad marriage, then get with them after divorce. Famously, Wayne Allwine and Russi Taylor were both in bad marriages when they got their long term jobs as Mickey and Minnie Mouse, divorced their spouses, and married each other. And they were the most in love people you could ever meet. Sometimes, it takes a bit longer to find the person you're really meant to be with. And sometimes, you end up settling with a couple of wrongs.
That one about the daughter cheating concerns me because of the phrasing about how the ex "wasn't the greatest person." Was he unattentive and a little lazy and it was a bad fit? Then she probably shouldn't have cheated. Did he beat her, gaslight her, convince her she was nothing without him, keep her trapped in her home, and/or have affairs of his own? Then she has FULL rights to latch on when someone else reaches in to save her, even in a romantic context. I wouldn't even be voting on that one. I would slam a big fat INFO asking what, exactly, OP meant by "he wasn't the greatest person."
Did she even cheat though? Not enough info to even say if she was. While mom thinks she was "emotionally cheating" , the "evidence" being she knew a guy became friends with him (?) and dated the guy after she divorce a year later. People usually date in their circle of friends and acquaintances, especially when they're older in life and meeting less people. The mom seems oddly conservative. She thought her daughter dating someone a year after her divorce was "a bit too early". Like, you don't get to make those calls. The person in question does. Some people go on dates a few weeks after a divorce or relationship ends to put themselves back out there. Other times people might take months, some a year or more, it's not for everyone else to decide when someone should move on.
@@Silverhineko That's also very true! It really isn't a black-and-white situation at all, and it feels like there are a lot of pieces missing, including why exactly the daughter felt the need to hide it from the mother - if it was regarding an actual emotional affair or because the mother is rooted in beliefs that would cause her to assume that. The fact that we're getting a very biased narrative from the mom certainly doesn't help.
Honestly, the mom is being a jackass. She knew the marriage wasn't good. Whatever it takes for someone to get out of a bad situation is entirely justified, and sometimes that's someone who shows them they matter because the bad situation has stolen that sense of worth from them.
I understand the cultural norm part in the concert one, but I can't believe no one picked up on that aggressive comment at the end from that lady about OP's "village." everyone is so harsh in the comments of that one, man
@@Disatiere It’s calling someone uncivilized with some pretty obvious racial implications. Never hear that phrase from someone who didn’t mean it in a racist way.
The sil kitchen story - I'd be LIVID if that happened to me. Someone could D I E if they ate something unknowingly. And even withoit allegries, this is just asshole behavior.
I know, right? It's so belittling too! If someone treated me like I was too dumb to season my own food, repeatedly, I'd ban them even without a stunt like this...
The GF in the first story sounds super cool and I hope she doesn't one bad ex (at least I hope she got out...) sour her enjoyment of cosplay as a means of owning her experiences.
4:30 For the future, NAH doesn't mean Not Ahole, it means No Aholes here. YTA means you're the Ahole and the other person isn't. NTA means the other person's the ahole and you're not. ESH means everyone sucks here.
1st post- YTA- It's strange that OP just assumes that his gf is going to do a sexual cosplay. The only time it's fine to think that is if she said she was going to. From what he wrote, she just said she was doing a cosplay, didn't say anything about it being sexual. Also- what's OP's problem with her showing her scars? Shouldn't he be proud of her being confident with herself?
He's one of those reddit 'alpha sigma males' or whatever the hell they call themselves nowadays, that think women solely exist to appease their desires, and any semblance of independence one shows is a deviation that must be corrected.
Regarding the tomato sauce one - I’ll say it time and again, you never add ingredients to someone else’s food without explicitly getting permission. That is a one way ticket to setting off allergies or food limitations or, at the very least, wasting food. And yes, sometimes you have things in your cupboard you may not necessarily be able to eat yourself. Room mates and family members coexist in the same space, and sometimes you have things available for guests. Gosh, I have hypertension so I’m very careful about the amount of salt I add to my food. I love to cook so it genuinely sucks, but I make due with other seasonings and roll with the punches. I make sure salt is easily accessible to others to add to their bowls after the fact - hell, I keep different types of salt on hand because I know how much of a difference it can make - but I don’t use it much in the main batch. So I would fight someone if they made me waste food by dumping a shit ton of salt into the main bowl because I “have no taste”.
Even if you live alone and only keep around stuff you can eat, OP was canning 40 POUNDS of tomatoes, so there's a chance they were going to give some away. Imagine telling someone "Oh don't worry, it's just plain tomatoes" and landing them in the hospital because they happen to be deadly allergic to turmeric... Plus, as some of the answers stated, it's simply a boundary violation. Like who the heck thinks this is okay? If SIL learned her lesson, I'd probably un-ban her from my house eventually, but on my own terms and not because people are disappointed I won't host for a while.
See this is how I feel too Not only could you mess with the person cooking the food BUT you potentially could end up hurting someone else. Unless I knew a family member was super into canning, I'd assume FIVE ENTIRE POTS OF SOMETHING was being cooked for other people. Like for a party, a banquet or to donate somewhere because most people don't make that amount of food on a whim these days. And if OP had no idea it was done, canned it up and gave it away and made someone sick, OP's getting the blame. And I bet you, SIL isn't the type who'd go "Oh sorry I actually messed with your food - I thought it lacked taste" they'd deny it I'm sure. But yeah that's ignoring the boundary issues and potential harm that could come to OP in general. Not to mention, some things are better left without the extra flavor when canning or setting aside - so you can dress it up as needed. There are plenty of things [like pico de gallo style salsa for example] that left to sit can get stronger and stronger and stronger in flavor to the point of being borderline impossible to eat come time to open it up and eat it. Even canned - so it's always better to go bland and spice it up AFTER.
that one is really infuriating , like that amount of tomato, must be quite a lot of hard work already spent, and all is ruined her just going to the brother and telling she is not welcome anymore was too polite for me, I would go nuke and ballistic, especially it was not the first time. and 5 pots, what the heck why would someone be that nosy and do that
@@artaizen1613 No lie, if this was the FIRST time, I think that's reasonable. I'd be like "No I want you to pay me for that amount of tomatoes, plus she's banned at the very least, I shouldn't have to tell a grown ass woman why you don't screw with people's food ... She's LUCKY this is all I'm doing, but she has to LEARN."
Hi, Swedish person here. I'm saying kind of NTA about the Beyoncé concert. Swedish people are generally very hesitant to let loose in fear of judgement - we call it the Jante Law. Essentially "who do you think you are? You're not better than anyone else". I have been to concerts in Sweden - you know, since I grew up here - and this sounds INCREDIBLY abnormal. People who go to concerts generally aren't this stuck up about it, and especially not if it's a bigger artist. The general knowledge is "be quiet while the artist is talking between songs, have fun during the songs". I didn't attend the Beyoncé concert, but I've heard a lot about it. She fucking HATED the Swedish crowd.
sweedish crowd sound like they confusing concert with theatre xd like concert is all about singing dancing having fun not sitting in silence and watching it like a movie lol
As annoying as I think it would be to be at a concert, that's a personal preference. If they wanted little to no interruption watching a musical number, they should've gone to a musical or theatre or opera. Can't believe people said she was the asshole. Definitely not. I agree with you
@venus4724 ok, but what if someone really wanted to see Beyonce, but couldn't stand for hours due to medical reasons, so specifically bought seated tickets and another person was in front of them, standing up and blocking the view. Still NTA?
@@KeshabagHonestly man, if you buy tickets to a concert and your view is blocked by the only person in the entire venue that's standing, then that has to be some serious karma for something. Also if you have that issue, just ask if you could switch seats with someone? I highly doubt anyone's going to tell someone with a medical condition to just buzz off for simply asking that lol.
The one about the niece being told to "not cause troubles for her parents, because they had enough to deal with" hit a cord with me. For one, I am Autistic, so I instantly feel a weird connection when it comes to these things. I wasn't a serious handful or anything, at least I don't think I was, but I know my needs had caused some distress for my parents. I would feel HORRIBLY GUILTY if I learned later that my older siblings had to hold back their own emotions or problems because of my disability. But also, my sibling DID have a lot of attention directed at them for some time because of their OWN disability. And THEY FEEL HORRIBLY GUILTY FOR THAT! I don't know what the nephew's issues were, but I am sure, down the line, if he overhears that his sister was told to "not cause troubles for their parents" by his Aunt/Uncle....I am sure he'll feel horribly guilty, too. You just...don't say that.
Agreed. It bothers me OP just assumes she's going to do a sexual cosplay. She was likely embarrassed by her scars and finally felt comfortable with them.
The pregnancy one really gets on my nerves as a pregnant woman. At 5.5 months pregnant I didn’t show much either and wore baggy clothes to where most of the time you would just think I’m chubby. I have issues with fatigue my iron and my balance all my life and pregnancy made it 10 times worse. I would have had issues on a bus or train and would have had to sit down too but at that point most people who didn’t know me wouldn’t have known any of this.
Bruh the first story. As soon as I heard "she asked for my permission to cosplay and I gave it." Huge red flag. What kind of healthy relationship works like this? Two grown adults needing permission to have fun?
Some places (and venues) don't allow people to cosplay. She could have been asking about the rules of the place. That being said, totally agree with you.
For the mother who is disappointed in their daughter for meeting their new boyfriend before divorcing the other, I agree with reddit. Should the daughter have lied about not meeting them until after the divorce? No. But just meeting someone you later go on to date, a YEAR after divorcing an asshole... That's perfectly fine. The mother is really weird to be dissapointed. I get not liking being lied to, but unless the daughter was having sex or ACTUALLY cheating, its normal to be friends with someone you later date. If they were just friends, which is true as far as we know, why would the mother be upset? They may have been just work friends before, but got close during the divorce, as maybe the daughter needed some support.
See it's sort of a double issue, as you point out with the lying. If I were the parent, I'd be...fine if maybe a little suspicious on the relationship's start. More-so after being lied to, of course and understandably so, I think. But I would be disappointed that my child felt the need to lie to me as well. Maybe it was badly explained as that by the parent or maybe not. If it was disappointment at being lied to, NTA. Otherwise Kinda the asshole.
I would agree, but the lying definitely makes it look like an emotional affair. So, I guess it really depends on the parents. If they are the type that think a married woman shouldn't have/make male friends period, that might explain the lying. On the other hand, even then she could have just said the truth about when he started working there and they didn't really get to know each other until after the separation. Honestly, the way this comes across, it seems much more information than just when they met was revealed. As in the nature of their relationship before the separation, as in OP KNOWS there was an emotional affair, especially with the emphasis on "nothing physical happened."
@@jakeand9020 I was referring to proof that it was cheating, not that it never happened After all, with the amount of friends I have that are boys, people could just claim that I’m “emotionally dating them”, because we are open and would help each other If I needed a place to be able to calm down and vent, I’d go with the person I’m most close to, which may be a friend, male or female. If I was dating someone, and I went to a male friend of mine, venting about how horribly I was treated by my own boyfriend, would you consider it cheating? Because as far as they know, that’s all that happened Just a women needing a shoulder to cry on Not to mention the fact that sometimes crushes only arise months to years after you met someone. Some people are demiromantic, therefore having to be really close and have an emotional bond with someone before you’d get a crush Besides, you can have a crush on someone, and not act on it. Some people will have crushes on multiple people at a time If I was dating someone, and found out they also have a crush on a friend, but refused to act on it, I wouldn’t care.
Sounds like daughter cheated, emotionally if not physically, and her and the affair partner just waited "an appropriate amount of time" to make it official.
@@mrFiiSKiiS When you say emotionally, do you just mean being close to someone, and trusting them with your secrets? Knowing that they would comfort you while in an abusive relationship? Because that’s not cheating. If that would be perfectly fine if the friend was a woman, then it’s fine if they are a man.
For the parent expressing disappointment, the issue I see is that the daughter did what one would be morally obliged to do in that situation, as far as we know. She fell out of love with her husband, and in love with someone else. It's a bad situation, but it happens. So she told her husband-at-the-time that a romantic partnership would not be substanable, and they broke it off. That's taking responsibility. Forcing yourself to stay in a failed relationship will just hurt everyone involved, and it sounds like the relationship was dying for some time, so it was time to do what needed to be done. The fact that her mother was oblivious to their marital problems before the divorce indicates that the couple wanted to handle things privately, so it isn't tactful of the mother to jump to conclusions on so little context.
Agreed, like they act as if she stayed in the relationship. She found that she wanted someone else and divorced him. Like what was she supposed to do? Just turn it off? She did what was best.
You put my impression of this story in better words. The whole time I was like: “but that is what one is supposed to do. She ended the current relationship to pursue another. Way more fair for the people involved than, you know, keeping a lover behind your husband’s back.”
I’m from Sweden, we have a lot of concerts where we do get up and dance but those concerts are usually MADE for that. Like there’s not rly any seats taking up space so you can stand and dance and go wild and stuff. Most of the time we just like to chill (like we have big events for music and stuff in big fields where people bring blankets and food and games to play with their friends, sometimes people dance but most of the time you’re spread out and just chill), sometimes the vibe is dancy and sometimes it’s not. I do get where they’re coming from but they should’ve read the room.
I remember reading about it in the paper or somewhere after that Beyoncé was supposedly unhappy with the energy in Sweden, but she should’ve had standing sections and not seated sections on the floor if she wanted that vibe. When there’s seats we sit bc we’re taught to sit to respect the people behind us. I was at an Adele concert years ago and we sat for most parts, but stood when ppl in front of us did (as in basically everyone) and the people behind us were annoyed. I get that, but if we sat we wouldn’t have seen and that was a “follow what everyone else is doing” situation. When I saw Pink a few years later I was seated the whole time buuuuut I was also way up in the “sky” in Globen lol. Artists (their tour team) need to research the concert culture before they design the venue. Don’t have floor seats if you don’t want them to be used
@@BexsBoxofConfusion exactly! If they wanted people to stand up then there should’ve been space for people to…stand up..I can’t images trying to stand and dance when there are seats right behind you. You’d have so little space to move and you’d probably trip or something 😭 It feels like it would just be kinda awkward :/
Story 2: as a former athlete as a child, i would’ve paid someone to spray me with a hose to cool off. Def NTA, but get that kid a chair and have them come up onto the porch to talk for a bit
39:03 If that old lady had enough time to stand there and yell- literally until someone on the tram intervened- she definitely had enough time to find another place to sit.
I hate the way that a lot of people think that being over a certain age is equivalent to a disability. Some older people are still incredibly fit and healthy and some young people (even children) have issues/conditions that are genuinely disabling. In the same way, some people go through pregnancy and say they have never felt healthier, while others get a lot of awful symptoms and are in a really fragile state that might just as well be a disability. We need to trust people on what they say they personally feel and need. Some disabling health problems, disabilities, and chronic illnesses are invisible or only visible in certain circumstances, and some can even look like other things to an unaware onlooker, for example many people with certain conditions often get accused of being intoxicated because that's what their symptoms look like. Some conditions even have variable symptoms so a person can do something sometimes but other times is unable to do even a fraction of the same thing. In general people should be way less judgemental about a person's situation and less quick to think they know what a person's needs, experience, and capabilities are based just on what they can see
I feel so bad for the poor niece, she's a child, it isn't HER responsibility to take care of her parents emotions. That. is. a. child. she needs love, it doesn't matter what her brother is, SHE'S A CHILD.
Okay about the birthday cake mixup- The restaurant is (obviously) the one at fault here. I think a solution that would’ve made people happy could’ve gone 1 of 3 ways: • the not-best solution: bring the other table a new cake and charge the OP’s table for the cake they ate • pretty good solution: give the other table a refund for their cake and the restaurant takes the L • amazing solution: give the other table their rightful cake and take the L because you served OP’s table a cake you didn’t know wasn’t yours. This will end up with the happiest customers. The way it ended up, I don’t think either party will be returning to the restaurant any time soon which still made them lose money in the end. Besides, isn’t there a health hazard of just giving the other table a half-eaten cake from OP’s table? How would any reader feel if a pizza place gave you a pizza box where it was obvious someone else had already taken slices out of the pizza?
The concert thing in Sweden: I’m not in Sweden, but if you get seated tickets, you remain seated. If you want to dance, get a ticket where you stand and dance. Here in the Netherlands, there are usually more sections, also standing-dancing ones.
Weirdly enough even if you do get seated tickets, if you went to see an artist that has a lot of energy in their music everyone would be standing and moving around. At least that's how it was when I went to a Sean Paul concert. No one was sitting, not even the seated ticketers. Everyone was up and dancing. Idk, I just find it weird if you're going to a concert just to sit quietly like it's a ballet show. Post-edit: wanted to add I’m from the UK, so the US isn’t the only place where people show enthusiasm in concerts
This is such an interesting cultural difference. In the US, almost everyone stands at concerts, even if the artist doesn't exactly perform music to which you'd usually dance. I recently went to the Eras tour and there's a small GA section, but every other ticket comes with a seat, which is partially due to the type of venue. Even if there is a large GA section, it's pretty assumed you are going to stand up for the show regardless of whether you have a seat, because you're excited to see the artist. Unless you are at an opera or a show where you're meant to be seated and just observe, I think it's wild to sit during a concert. Kind of makes me sad for those countries where it is typical to sit for a performance by someone like Beyonce!
The cultural difference is so interesting. It’s actually a little rude to just sit there or not move during a concert in the US. (Or sit during ballads and get up when the music picks up.) I’ve seen bands urge people to get up and dance all the time. They’re performing their hearts out and if you can’t even get up and nod your head to the beat it’s seen as a little stuffy. Obviously if you’re disabled it’s different but wheelchairs are usually in a designated section where they can see better being seated.
Honestly even if OP had a seated ticket and wanted to dance, they could just go stand in the aisle in order to not block the people directly behind them.
I'm pregnant with a heart condition. During my first pregnancy, I didn't look pregnant until my 7th month. I had multiple issues with people telling me to move from a seat for someone who "deserved it more" I would stand for a bit and then start dry heaving; people moved real quickly after that. Also, for the salad-eating guy. EVERY PREGNANCY IS DIFFERENT; YOU FERMENTED COMPOST BIN. Bud needs to wise up.
ok - for that story of the concert and standing up and singing, my family and I recently went on a trip to Mexico, it was kind of a big deal because we normally don't get to do many big trips like that. One night at the hotel, there was a fire dance and such, where if you wanted to, you could go outside and watch 6 people dance with fire. my family decided to do it because it sounded really cool, and when we got there, it was really cool, but most people were quiet, not clapping very loudly, not cheering during the dances, etc. I noticed this immediately because there was this one woman staring at us every time we cheered loudly so I stopped cheering much. I told the rest of my family to stop too, because I was worried there was something different, culturally or not, that made this different from the U.S. My family just decided to shrug me off and say that it was a concert, and I should be cheering to give energy, and all of that American crap. I told them a few more times until I just gave up, are my family members assholes?
In my opinion if you go in a foreign country, you should adapt to the way people live there, and be respectful of their cultural differences. You can, like, imagine that the country is someone else’s house, and you wouldn’t do everything you do at YOUR house at someone else’s just because you want to. To your question - that’d be a yes from me for sure,,
@@snsech The house comparison is actually a really good way to explain it to people. You'd never (at least if you're a decent person) walk into someone else's house with your shoes on if you see everyone else take theirs off at the door. People in other countries just want to live by their own rules in their own "house", you don't get to waltz in and start making your own rules just because you think your way of doing things is the "right" one 😑
I agree with the above people’s comments. Also another thing to add is whether or not clapping was disturbing other people. You can enjoy a concert experience without disrupting the people around you. If they thought it was funny or didn’t care if your family clapped, then it’s either way I guess. But if people are actually bothered, definitely don’t do it
I think the culture of the PERFORMER(S) is more important than the culture of the other attendees. The performers are the ones _doing something for you,_ and, therefore, deserve far more appreciation than the other people they're performing for. You show the performers appreciation the way they'd like to receive it. We know Beyoncé's American, so she'd likely appreciate OP jamming out to her music (although he also shouldn't have blocked the view of the people behind him). We don't know the exact culture of the fire dancers in your story, but it doesn't exactly sound American. It was wise of you to take the hints from the other attendees at that event, as the fire dancers may have preferred the quiet observation of their performance.
I don't think the mom has standing up take offense. Her (now) ex husband could get upset and make that accusation, if he wanted to, but it's really not for any outsider to say what is right or wrong in another relationship unsolicited. Mom's making her own drama. Perhaps they were 100% normal friendly coworkers and all behavior was reasonable. Perhaps she had a slight crush on him. Perhaps him just being a nice and fun dude around her made her realize how unhappy she was and that there's other fish in the sea. I don't offer my opinions to friends and family on your lifestyle/relationships unsolicited. It only causes problems. If someone wants or is ready to know your thoughts, they'd ask for them.
Eh, "I'm dissapointed you had picked out your new relationship during your last one" is a very mild reproach. The daughters reaction and hiding the situation really spells out that she knows what she did was wrong and that she saw it similarly, just that she's upset mommy didn't tell her that it's okay despite that.
in the story about the mom saying shes disappointed in her daughter i dont think the daughter really "cheated" i think she just met a guy she was more interested in and then decided to break things off with the husband before continuing to pursue her relationship with the new guy which imo is a pretty mature way to go about it
as for with that pregnant woman and the tram, in Poland there is actually a priority list in most public transport where pregnant woman has the highest priority for seats then there are people with kids and after that there are the elderly if i remember correctly, also there are no dedicated places for such people you are just legally obligated to give those people a seat
I disagree with the first one, the guilt in no way makes up for what they did to their girlfriend. She didn't even have boobs, not to mention that the scars she has were *literally life saving* and she has every right to try and be proud and comfortable with them, and he couldn't help but sexualize her chest after day dreaming about her wearing a sexy costume for him and somehow getting disappointed in what she went with- which obviously took hours of worth and probably looked amazing. That whole situation is so gross to me, I have no idea what she sees in him.
You are so wrong about the story at 20 minutes. I have been in a bad relationship and bonded with another person because they were treating me better. It doesn't mean I was cheating. It means that I was getting closer to somebody because I felt that they were treating me nicely and I was being treated badly by the one person that. Should love me unconditionally she did not cheat she didn't cheat? It's just the facts she all she did was meet a new person that happened to be way better than the current relationship she was in she took some. Time and decided to divorce her husband and took some more time and then decided to date this. Guy how is that cheating
Cheating while you're in a bad relationship is only valid in certain situations, but the way you and OP's kid went about it is definitely the right way. Plus sometimes trying to break up without having somewhere to go / someone to back you up like a new SO can could be really dangerous! Glad you got out of that situation. Edit for clarity bc I know someone is going to get pissy later, what I mean by only sometimes valid is that this can definitely be abused. For instance if the person in the bad relationship is actively dating/sleeping with the nicer person with a half hearted sort of intent to "break up with the bad partner eventually", you know? Can you see how that can be bad? As opposed to getting emotionally attached to someone and realizing that you aren't being treated well. Honestly OP's daughter took a LONG time to think about everything - 2 years! But yeah, I'd say the line should be drawn based on how much sneaking around is happening and why. If the relationship is controlling and you're not allowed to even look at other people obviously there's going to have to be a lot of secrecy, but if you're sneaking around just to keep having sex or whatever and not just breaking up with the person first obviously there's a problem. Depends on the situation, that's all I'm trying to say. No hate for you or OP!
"you can get taylor swift tickets later sometime down the line" "ts is not once in a lifetime" for the eras tour? someone has not been keeping up with how difficult it is
Im sorry the tomato sauce one was a very stupid take, her reaction was calm and she’d asked her multiple times to stop. If ANYONE family or not disrespects your boundaries in your home, you have every right not to let them in your home. The reader of this video needs to go look up what a back bone is.
That second to last one, wow. They taught her fundamentally compassionate ideas, they managed to get an idea through to a kid that so many grown adults who consider themselves loving and intelligent somehow lack. That hatred of a harmless part of someone's identity comes from a personally insecure and fearful place, and that the "love the sinner hate the sin" mindset is disgusting when the "sin" is just a person's orientation, an inseparable part of themselves. If they're worried about her safety and truly accept and support her orientation, it's on them to defend her and band together. Not to give in to the hate and victim blame.
Telling them that the others are sad and projecting isn’t really compassionate. The right thing to say is that “they’re mistaken or don’t understand”. She taught the kid to write a tumblr post or an everyone clapped tweet, not how to effectively deal with the judgements of others.
Yea it’s really weird that the kid stopped caring about the hose and they both formed kinda of a strange and short dad and son bound, the stepping on the law even harder prob was just a bad day at the soccer field, like maybe his team lost and they blamed it on him stuff like that, and the pointing out the fact the kid rather gets hosed and talk to a stranger hosing him than just going home is really weird NAH, I feel like that kid will grow up to tell that story
We don't get up and move here for the concert because that way everyone can see and enjoy it. Everyone paid for it so everyone deserves to see the performance and not everyone is tall and able-bodied. It's respectful to sit and disrespectful to get in the way of other people's vision. It's fine to do happy dances on your chair tho but don't block others' vision.
I don’t think the person who chose Taylor Swift over the moms wedding is nta. My reason is no one can force you to go to an event for any reason. It doesn’t matter, you can just say you no longer are attending the wedding. You have no reason to be forced to go instead of something that you would rather be at.
I disagree. Do you know how much concert tickets cost? It is once in a Lifetime. How often do you win concert tickets? Because I never win concert tickets
I get Beyonce girl tbh. I saw MCR earlier this year (Australia), which was a massive deal to me as I'd been a fan for about 10 years and discovered them just after their breakup. I was right on the ball to buy tickets but because of a glitch on the site I could only get seated, not GA. I'd been to a Twenty One Pilots at the same venue like 5 years prior, and everyone was standing and vibing, so I assumed it would be fine. Nope! Crowd up there was absolutely dead, nobody stood. It was like they were watching TV. I'm not the kind of person to say 'not a true fan' but the people around me clearly couldn't have cared less about the band I'd loved for all these years. I still didn't stand, just vibed in my seat, but I honestly nearly cried. It felt like every experience I'd had veing the weird kid at school when I was just passionate about something that people around me weren't (I'm 23, but that brought it all rushing back). I fully get why she did what she did, and it's a tough decision to make. I feel for her, as someone who made the opposite choice and also had my memories tainted.
tbh i always assumed the seated tickets were for the vip only and only for the very rich who dont really go to a concert for the same reason as a fan would cause as a fan why would you wanna just sit and watch? at that point might as well watch a livestream of the concert cause it would be the same shit, people go to concert to vibe to dance to scream and sing along not to seat in a chair as if its a movie but i guess it means different thing for some people the word "concert"
salad story was NTA until he made the passive aggressive toast comment literally the morning after having a fight the previous night, then he absolutely became the AH
That's pretty lame "advice" to get. That you should stfu even on your birthday because your parents doesn't have time or energy anymore because they're too busy with their sibling? That she should just be quiet because it's convenient for others? It's not like she had a melt down in public or was throwing a fit. She was just telling a loved one how she felt. Everyone, especially a kid, has the right to feel upset and hurt. People are allowed to feel whatever they want and they should be encouraged to talk about their feelings.
The woman who gave her niece (I think it was her niece) advice about homophobia was absolutely NTA. Everything she said was entirely true and was excellent advice. As for people saying that advice wasn't age appropriate... Was it age appropriate for that man to tell her she was living in sin for being herself? Is it age appropriate to call a child names that imply that they're promiscuous and evil because they don't conform to the rules of heteronormativity? No, it isn't, and yet that happens all the time. So if the homophobic interactions she's experiencing with strangers are not age appropriate, then it stands to reason that the advice she would get from a trusted family member would perhaps be a little age inappropriate too. At least the "inappropriate" advice from the aunt came from a place of love, unlike the inappropriate comments by people simply full of hate.
14:36 This is so true. I buy seat tickets because I can't stand for such a long time but want to be on concerts. Second to that I'm a short woman (1,55 m) so even when I would stand up most other standing people are so tall that they block my view completely. When I want to stand up (fav. song, for example) I ask if that will be ok, go to the side if needed so everyone can have a good time. And of course if it wouldn't be ok for me to stand I keep sitting.
Beyonce concert: What is even the point of going to a concert like Beyonce if you're just going to sit there like a lump? I think the people saying "don't stand because other people are boring af" are just sticks in the mud that like to ruin other people's fun.
It would give them the benefit of the doubt since it’s a cultural thing, but they shouldn’t make someone feel bad for not knowing how to act in a Swedish concert
That boyfriend in the first one is ridiculous, her costume sounds amazing and really creative. The people looking at her chest were probably just noticing how realistic the scars were and maybe going "Oh, shoot, it's 'cause some of them are real!"
As a wheelchair user, if I paid to attend a concert that I could sit at and someone stood up and started dancing in front of me, I'd personally ram their ankles with my chair. People are SO entitled!
I do understand and I see your point of view, but unless it was specifically stated in the ticket that it was a seating ticket, I see no reason for someone not to have fun in their own way. Op also stated few other people were doing it, and they were never once approached by security so it isn't prohibited.
The trailer swift over moms marriage story is so weird bc of the amount of yta answers like she doesn’t have a moral obligation to go to her mothers wedding. It is her choice. It is her choice. It is her choice.
The thing is she didn't "emotionally cheat" she literally just worked in the same building as a man. the mom keeps saying "they technically didn't do anything physical BUT..." as if they were having phone sex or something But the whole scandal is that they met each other at work orientation. Oh and if you're going to accuse that random commenter of being a serial cheater because he had a different opinion than you I'm going to say that you probably want to keep your wife locked up and not let them talk to anybody besides their husband. That's pretty fucked up. I'd rather be a unfaithful straw man than a wife abusing strawman.
That hosing story yeah. Weird All Round, but aside from that I think it's an NSH. No-One Sucks Here. The kid wised up and seems to appreciate the hosing down, and they seem to get along fine!
Pregnancy and A-hole behavior aside... Eating a salad with his hands, really? How does that even work, I'm having trouble imagining that in any way that doesn't look like a caveman. I mean if he's not putting toppings, why not just use the largest leaf pile the other stuff in the middle and eat it like tortilla wrap? I'd be kinda grossed out too and it's just rude!
I’ve been badgered by customers about my religion. Gotten unwanted numbers. And once had to hold myself back from leaping across the counter to punch someone trying to get me to join in a racist “joke”.
26:36 OP is the TA because if you are a young woman (or person) working guys trying to hit on you and giving them their numbers is really creepy and can kind be scary.
I’m disabled and go to gigs, I live in the uk and have been to shows with seats, people still got up and danced. I dunno what shows you are attending but they sound dull
35:30 called the fuck out! We stan! That is some rock solid advice. If the parents are really concerned about her daughter's mental health they probably shouldn't be taking her to a homophobic church...
That cheating one drives me crazy, all the comments saying the mom is an Ahole- like wtf??? And they kept saying her daughter’s ex was “not a great guy” but how exactly? Was he abusive? Because if so then I could kind of forgive the daughter but if not then again wtf??
39:33 as a younger disabled person ( Invisible disability) I would have been so upset by being confronted like that. I will give up my seat when I can, but if I actually take one of the reserved seats, it's because I need it.
I don’t think someone has the right to tell someone else who they can and cannot divorce, including parents. HOWEVER it’s completely ok to call someone out for cheating. Edit for spelling
I feel like I definitely would have been angry at first because my food is my food, I’m the one making it my way for me, but definitely not kick them from my house permanently, I just hate hating, I can’t be mad at people I know for too long because I endup just hurting myself at the process, but enough of throwing my issues into this story, definitely NTA but a bit of over reaction if you NEVER let her into your house again, maybe not now but never just seems too much
9:27 if its his own food hes messign up, then hes fine (a bit childish, though). he went out of his way to mess up OPs food so she couldnt get a nice photo of it. if anyones the a*shole in this situation, its the boyfriend
That guy telling the salad story…wth? This man is eating salad with his bare hands like an absolute serial killer, and then belittles his wife’s pregnancy experience? “Women go through pregnancy just fine all the time”…yeah, but women are also debilitated by their pregnancies all the time. Heck, women DIE due to complications of pregnancy and childbirth all the time too
Serial killer ugh ok first of all why waste a fork if you can eat with your hands second of all I don’t think he was belittling her I thing he may just make joke to descaled thing I do it a lot and it works but his wife is pregnant so maybe she took it in a wrong way
@@land_shark_maw1048 "Women go through pregnancy all the time..." There's no way he's NOT belittling her pregnancy, if you disagree you should at least know you are wrong. Luckily he didn't actually say that to her. "Asking if the way I was eating my toast was acceptable..." Ok, I get some couples take little digs at each other's expense. Even if they are like that, doing so on a subject actively upsetting her and causing the friction is stupid and petty and passive aggressive and NOT a "joke." @savannah4439 What's up with judging the guy on how he eats his salad? "Serial killer." Seriously? "OMG somebody does something different than how I do it WTF is wrong with them?" Maybe get over yourself a little if you actually want to be taken seriously.
Oh that one. Personally I don't think OP was the asshole in the first part. He shouldn't have to change the way he eats for someone else, but I do think they could've found a compromise, like maybe, I don't know, him not eating it in front of her? Or her leaving the table when he eats his salad? Maybe she was just emotional and irritated at the time, I know the feeling and I don't blame her for it. I think they both should've apologised. HOWEVER, his assumptive comment of "women go through pregnancies just fine" made me pause. And his 'joke' was definitely NOT to dissolve the situation, I think he was frustrated and took it out on her. That comment made me mad tbh. Pregnancy is different for everyone, and even if it's "easy", growing a whole human inside you isn't easy in general at all. They definitely need to have a talk about this, and someone needs to explain to this guy that pregnancies can and will be difficult especially for the mothers, but I think this one is salvageable. Honestly? Only a couple of stories were definitive assholes. The service worker one just seemed unaware, and he seems willing to learn. And the concert one, people were a bit too harsh. And the one with the kid, I'm sure she meant well and didn't think about it before she said it, and while I do think that it wasn't the best thing to say to a literal child, they were trying. And they also offered to fix it for free. She's allowed to be upset, but I think OP was just trying to calm her down. The only one I genuinely hated was cosplay one.
My sister was a server and I can definitively say no 100% you have to stop harassing servers You have been told So you do know what you're doing wrong, You're being told now and you're still protesting. You just know that guy was like twice her age too He already admits to being older He's definitely closing the gap in his estimate of her age.
"I eat my salad with my hands because a fork is too hard". Use a pair of chopsticks, I say. Decent compromise. Also, always de-escalate with sensitivity and care with a pregnant woman. ALWAYS. They go through enough, physically, as is, let alone emotionally due to hormonal shifts and such
"our daughter introduced her new boyfriend a year after her divorce and while I thought it was a little soon to be dating..." Damn I definitely trust this person to Not be overly judgmental of her daughter's relationships, let's continue. Oh no details other than they worked in the same building and never touched each other, wow that's spicy.
