what up im not dead, just got a new computer this file may have gotten a bit out of sync since i had to swap it over to AE 2017 instead of AE 2015, like i'd been using so hopefully the timing isn't off too much
My interpretation of this song: It's about a man giving ironic answers. People like to say "rough and strict parents raise amazing children" and sometimes this "rough and strict" means abusive. So he is saying "yeah, my father that tried to kill me made me cure cancer", ironically.
I had a conversation with my mother about how I felt like she wasn’t treating me/my family right and to summarise, her response was: “Actually, it’s normal for someone your age to hate your parents, and I know I’m bad sometimes but I just need to do this because if I didn’t then you and your siblings wouldn’t have succeded at what you did in life and I put up with you so you should be grateful, I’m sorry I traumatised you (she literally said that), I’m not perfect, no one is, and I was born in a not so great situation so that’s just who I am, so no, I’m not going to change, also your father instead is a bad parent because he’s too good (he isn’t, he acts like he needs to, not too strict but not too nice, and he seems to care about us way more than my mother ever did).”
I think the song is an ironic take of how, when you talk about parental abuse, people will often try and say something like “well at least it made you stronger” or “it must’ve all worked out though, look where you are now!” implying that, because now you are happy and/or successful, you somehow deserved or needed the trauma and abuse in your life, and you should be glad for it. when the singer says “i’m glad my daddy didn’t love me” I feel it really puts the nail in the coffin. it’s impossible to be happy that your parents don’t love you. you can never be happy for abuse and trauma in your life. you can grow, you can move on, you can get past it, but no one should ever feel like they deserved it or needed it to get to where they are. no one’s father should try to kill them. everyone deserves a father who loves them, whether they’ve cured cancer or not. your success in life is not a justification for the abuse others have dealt you.
It’s like when people say “trauma made you grow and be a better person” No trauma didn’t do that and neither did my abuser. It was myself who made me better.
I always liked when people told me "your abuse made you stronger" because they're right. I'm an extremely strong person. They're not saying that I deserved it, they're just trying to be positive, although the way they put it into words sounds questionable. I think people tend to take things too personally. People who don't understand will try to be positive but may come across as rude or inconsiderate because of their ignorance on what you've been through or who you are. But yeah, they can't continue saying that to others because not everyone will feel the same as I do about comments like that. They need to understand that they're romanticizing abuse and trauma by saying stuff like "kids who've been abused will grow up to be famous" and such.
Yelling and hitting kids just because “you’re trying to make them stronger” or “my childhood was harder than theirs!” Isn’t a valid excuse. You don’t truly care about the child if you aren’t stopping the abuse cycle.
Normalize telling your parents “your trauma is not mine to handle” because I’m fucking tired of my mother holding the fact her dad hit her over my head.
My father is mentally abusive. He’s an alcoholic, narcissist, chain smoker. It hurts. Like, a lot. So, to all the people who are going through the same thing, or worse, or just don’t feel loved by their father, you’re great and strong. Hang in there buddy, it gets better.
This is from a year ago but it will get better, it always does. I know how scary it is and I know I'm just a stranger on the internet but I'm proud of you and I hope things have gotten better for you.
I think that the part where he says that his dad was going to die from old age, 'going on ninety', was a lie his mother told him because he was actually going to be executed .
I take the meaning of this song in three interpretations: 1) none of these things happened to him, but the abuse, neglect and trauma made him think it did. Lines like "by the time that I was nine my daddy life was going to end/he was going on 90" could mean that his father was dead and distant to him, going on into the rest of his "achievements" that are really just from his insanity. 2) a commentary on how we boast children from bad situations. It's all over our media, pop or otherwise. Every story is about the average highschooler who had (x) happen to them and suddenly they're a hero. We see it in the news when children who starved all their lives invent ways to feed millions. It's almost like we're feeding kids to want to be the underdog because if you aren't your accomplishments are meaningingless And 3) the plot of every bad fan fiction ever.
Probably 2.) considering he’s never met his father and a lot of his stories about him are fictional. www.punknews.org/amp/38094/interviews-sean-bonnette-andrew-jackson-jihad lewisandhisblog.tumblr.com/post/10488345711/interview-andrew-jackson-jihad-92011
I love the second interpretation, I feel like that’s a huge issues we have with what kids today are taught. Fuck no you don’t want my problems you little idiots.
...i tried to kill my mom.... After she tried kill me... Then it turns out she be a rapist so thats why im here which is digusting but its fine with me because now I'm here and i can fix her mess so.... Its actually kinda hilarious!
@Rosemary Mask I am nearly 15, and my story is very similar to yours. My mother moved away from my father to another province before she even knew she was pregnant with me, and I am not allowed to see my father until i am of legal age and can go and meet him on my own. I have been told that he is a bad person, he has done bad things and has addictions and issues even with the family he has now. I have never met him, not once. I only just learned his name recently. My mother has told me that he knows I exist, but has never tried to see me. Sometimes I wonder if its because he knows it wont do anyone any good, or if he just doesnt care. In my case however, I do not love him. I do not miss him, and as curious as I am I want nothing to do with him. He is a stranger, nothing more and nothing else. Fortunately my mother met my stepfather, who raised me and the kids they had together up until i was about 7, then they parted. Despite that he is a wonderful parent. He tries so hard to spend as much time as he can his 3 kids, even me. (We all live with my mother, as my stepdad has another family of his own now, and they have 5 kids - it would most likely be too stressful.) He is the absolute best, and im so damn glad my biological father never cared, otherwise I wouldnt have my brother and sisters, and I wouldnt be the person I am today. Respect your mothers decisions, even if you do not agree. At a young age its hard to understand the reasoning behind the actions of others. I promise you, good things will come. Beleive so, and be happy. Enjoy every day to your best ability.
The way that his voice cracks whenever he's singing it just provokes a primitive emotion in me, like he's desperate for something. It's very well done.
if you don't mind me asking, what did you do about it? i'm going through that right now (abusive mom) and it's really fucking me up and i'm honestly losing hope.
I wish my mother loved me more ;-; This song kinda does depict how she thinks, she thinks being strict and pushing me to my limit to the point that just talking to her can cause me to break down crying will make me grow a successful or at least efficient person, talking about how it worked with my brothers- And yeah, it worked, kinda (one of my bros got pretty well, the other one is still not totally okay) but by the wrong means. In this case it matters more how you do it than what you do. We’re also all a little autistic (not my dad tho) aand I think what she does isn’t really a good method for neurodivergent people like us either- My dad’s pretty chill actually, just a little absent (can’t blame him tho, with my mother at home-) or too intrusive (just for me tho, a normal person would like affection from dad, I’m just easily annoyed and physical touch with my family bothers me)
I think he's trying to reason with himself that the trauma he suffered in the past was necessary for him to achieve larger goals and become a hero (think of the karma you see in most underdog movies) When it doesn't actually change anything in the present, and he's just using the "good things are coming my way" thing as a coping method
ive seen a lot of people talking about it being a sarcastic argument against parental abuse but i think there is also another part to this song. when i listen to it i feel a level of longing from the narrator as he still wants his father to love him even after all of the shit he did. this leads him to try and shift all of the awful things his dad did in a positive light so that he can hold onto the idea of a good father even though its in his head
I think that's an element a lot of people miss. "And I can't help but miss him / even though he hit me every day / and he tried to hang me with a belt once" Because that's how it is with abusive parents. They're fucking horrible to you, but it's just. It's so fucking hard to hate them. You still fucking miss them and love them, even though they were *horrible* to you. And sometimes you even understand the way they are and can empathize with them, because they went through shit no one should have to go through but they still *hit* you and they *beat* you and they left scars that you'll never be able to fully leave behind no matter how much you grow or how long they've been dead and it HURTS, it HURTS, it just fucking *HURTS,* and none of it makes any fucking sense.
The song makes sense. It’s talking about how people always say “the bad things happened to you for a reason.” It’s saying that that’s not always true. Sometimes there is nothing that makes up for all the fucked up shit that happens to you.
it's amazing how a song with such simplistic lyrics can actually be so complex and have so many different meanings that all vary from interpretation to interpretation
a couple of things when he says his father was pushing 90, he meant his father was pushing 90 years in prison it was mentioned earlier that he was "doing time", therefore in prison he died in prison and when he mentions how he does all these huge things at a young age, I feel that he's suggesting he lost his own mind, and convinces himself that he did all these things to cope with schizophrenia he mentioned earlier in the song that his father was looking down on him from heaven, and it's clear his father was very critical of him, therefore he convinces himself he did such amazing things at a young age to cope with the schizophrenia he suffers with by believing his father is watching him and expecting him to do great things at a young age and he's glad his father didn't love him because believing he's happy with that helps him cope with the trauma his father put him through, and putting that with his false belief he's done great things ties in that he's schizophrenic and thinks that his father never loving him helped him to achieve great things that's just how I perceived this
Soft Kitty or it's just sarcastic to depict how society "romanticises" abuse into something that makes you a better person and gives you motivation in life when really it's just an awful thing that we need to stop
That's a valid theory, I choose to believe it was depicting how none of those things happened and he ultimately did nothing with the trauma and Criticism his father put him through.
I feel that, dude. I couldn’t really hear what he said in that part, but I heard when he said “I’m glad he took those pictures of me” later on and going by the tone of the song, I instantly got a feeling of dread and anxiety.
I think thats because us people are so selfish. Ajj helped me out too, probably because I thought my life sucked and I was just idk horrible. But after listening to this I thought at least my daddy didnt took nude pics of my body but there is that one guy who actually get through that and he is still living, he is making music and if even that person can do it who am I to give up without half of his excuses to give up
Every time I hear this song again it reminds of the first time I listened to it. How the lyrics aided me in the realisation that the trauma I had to go through isn’t what made me strong or brave. That was me, that was my hard work, and my strength should never be attributed to an abuser. What I survived didn’t give me anything except CPTSD and a shitty childhood. There is no silver lining to it. I know we all love an underdog story with a happy ending, but its just not widely realistic. If anything, this expectation just puts unwarranted pressure on the survivor. I know it did me, whether I knew it at the time or not. I felt like I had to do something big & impressive, just to give back what was already taken from me. I wanted a reason for why it happened, to make up for it so I could be ‘worthy’ again. I know I wasn’t alone in this fucked mindset, but I’ve healed and am healing. lets just say EMDR therapy is very much worth it ;] sorry for the ramble i think its time for bed goodnight *TLDR: whatever doesn’t kill you doesn’t make you stronger, it just gives you trauma lol*
I live in a stable home(s) with loving parents, even if they’re divorced, but just know that if you are or were suffering through a broken home, please know that I love you. Although I don’t know you, I still adore you; your flaws, your highlights, your appearance, and your overall presence for being on this wretched planet. You are so strong for going through what’s going on. Thank you for being here. Please, get that through your mind. You are so loved, even by complete strangers over the internet. This goes for anybody, even if you’re not living through the trauma of an abusive home.
I relate to this song so much, having an abusive father and a mother that wasn't always there for me. When I was younger my dad, being 6'3 and me, at the time, far shorter, choked me with a belt, putting it around my neck and slinging the belt over his shoulder, aswell as having beat me several times. And even now that he is far gone out of my life I can't stop myself from missing him. I've always felt like I was done dirty or given a bad hand of cards in life, and I still find myself struggling to overcome the physchological trauma. I just really wish he had wanted me.
My father tried to choke me once as well and he's beaten me several times for negligible things like not picking up the phone or coming home 15-20 minutes late. He still beats me and I don't know, but I can literally see the hatred for me in his eyes. I don't know what I've done to deserve such hatred. But I know he's a major asshole because he could never be a good father or even a husband. He threatens to leave home if my mother ever takes my side and at regular intervals tells us that we're living our lives on his money and we don't deserve to have an opinion. It's horrible.
@@luna8613 I can't believe I commented this a year ago! Crazy how time flies. But I'm sixteen now and I've been taking more time to better help myself in terms of mental health. Even now I find that there are many setbacks that I face, such as the stresses of school and the other kids that attend it, as well as the stress of trying to find something I'm truly passionate about. But I can also say with complete confidence that things have and will get better, and I hope that they are able to get better for you as well! If you ever want someone to talk to or just an open ear feel free to talk to me any time!
@@Jovanist It's good to know that things have gotten better for you! I hope some day it gets easier for me too. I'm planning to move out of my house soon, really want it to work. Thank you so much for being such a sweetheart!
I'm really sorry for that. I don't have to deal with any of that since I have an amazing mom and dad that love me a lot and never hurt me and support me an insane amount. I wish other people like you were able to feel as much love as I do from my parents. It makes me feel guilty for having good parents and others don't have as good parents that live them. I wish you were able to have a good childhood as I had
I'm seeing a lot of theories about the meaning of this song so I'll throw my own out there: None of the things he is saying are true. The words are meant to parody the inspirational stories we hear so often about people and their tragic backstories. Why? Perhaps he is saying that people who tell their stories benefit greatly with regards to media attention, sponsorships, and opportunities. Maybe he is saying he wishes something terrible would have happened to him because 1) he thinks it would give him an advantage in life OR 2) He would be able to relate to these people, instead of just feeling sorry for them.
a lot of people think that you'll end up successful because of your trauma, but in truth people end up succeeding *despite* their trauma, not because of it.
I have a friend who is only 12 and he was in almost the same situation with him. His dad got deported and my friend has made multiple suicide attempt s, with his mother not doing much to try and stop him. He recently told me that he likes me and i don't know what i should do.... I am scared for him.
Sorry for my english, is not my mother-language Try to say him that he's not alone. Life can be beautiful. Just try to make him laugh and smile. Suicide is not a solution. I tried too to kill myself. It's not okay. Just try to understand him. Maybe it sounds weird, but try to pray for him. I believe God exists. Just try.
if he ever comes with you wanting to talk about it, try not to give him "solutions." Sometimes you just need someone to talk to. Just support him and show him he's not alone.
Fuck sorry, if u like him go for it, make him feel like hes the best in the world. BUT if u dont and only as a friend, dont pretend to love him romanticly it will only hurt him more in the aftermath’s
Trauma forever keeps you thinking everyone is gonna do what they did. You can never truly trust people, you can never truly let your guard down, you can be happy and have so many friends that love you. But you will always wonder why the people that made you, couldn't.
the lines about how he's glad his dad didn't love him, hurt him, etc hits especially hard into the meaning. how the people who have built their careers and popularity off of their childhood trauma are ultimately glad for their experience but only because they became someone. but at the end of the day he didn't become anyone and he's still traumatized.
Oh god- AJJ will always be one of my favorite artists. He controls his voice so well, and sides voice cracks in such a beautiful way. Not just that, but he handles such horrible topics in a great way, he doesn’t try to be optimistic, And doesn’t feel like he should have to censor his songs from bad things, bad things happen. :)
Y’all, the song’s about how he actually achieved shit after he was free from the struggling grasp of his traumatic childhood caused by his father. The things didn’t happen, of course, it’s truly just exaggeration to show more emotion. It’s just that he started to succeed with that burden and that he grew from knowing the knowledge of what hell feels like. (From experience) Also stop demonizing schizophrenia in the comment section, that ain’t how it work. (Also experience)
Man this song is sad...if it is what I think it's about...a boy taking drugs and hallucinating (thinking he can do a bunch of outlandish things), because of an abusive father.
muquesko Toksis idk but my interpretation was that all those things like making his first million and being champion of the world was him recovering and coming to terms with his father, and growing, not really hallucinating
no its him saying that he didnt change the world, he didnt cured cancer, nothing made up for the things his father had done to him, he learned to live with it
I'm gonna put my two sense into this finally lol My interpretation is that he was obviously abused by is parent physically and probably verbally too. Once the kid grows up he "achieves" greatness, solving big problems and making up for the love and attention he never got when he was younger. He knows in the back of his mind that his trauma didn't help fix world wide problems, but its better to believe that something bad in his life was finally made up by adoration from the public. He goes back to saying he's glad his daddy didn't love him, but deep down he's probably still waiting for exceptence. This song almost replicates the media, and how they talk about celebrities bad past when they were younger acting like that's why they are famous now. Trying to push this narrative that you have to go through this breakdown or trauma to really make it. When in reality people usually don't get this outcome, they live out their lives with no luck redemption. Living with their problems, walking eating sleeping without ever feeling like the accomplished anything. The media romanticize mental illnesses and trauma, thinking your cool and quirky for having problems. In reality mental illness and trauma stops kids or adults for experiencing a lot of things, its not this cool personality trait you want. People live with struggles and others either romanticize it, call bullshit on it or make it sound like it makes you better than other people. Moral of the story, don't try to make our trauma and illness something that makes us better, because it doesn't.
My father was abused by his mother, who was a drug addict, and she kicked him out in his teen years. Sometime in his life he met my mother and well... I happened. He stabbed two people before i was born and is now in prison until age 50-51. I wish i knew him even though i know he probably would've abused me, And i have felt an empty feeling in my life everyday of my life.
Liz well maybe you can meet him when you get older (if he is still in prison) or maybe he regrets for the things he did or his father side would make him more soft to you. Even tho he is not there is still a change.
I never got to meet my father, he just suddenly dissappeared when I was 1, he's left me with all sorts of identity problems and I hate when people tell me I look just like him. I don't want to look like him. I'm pretty sure he would have neglected me or abused me as he didn't truly love me, he liked getting attention off women when I was around him. And I'm pretty sure he didn't go mising, I think he ran off with another woman.
My interpretation of this song is that he misses his dad so much he thinks of him differently, for instance saying hes glad for him being abused because it got him places and that his dad was doing it for him, like hes so desperate for a father figure he misconjoins his fathers personality with a caring man. Saying his dad did it to make him better is easier then facing the fact he was like that. Him saying he cured cancer and all may be small actual accomplishments in his life like cooking or drawing but the weight on his shoulders makes him feel like they are huge tasks just lingering over him, as well as his innocence as a child-there is a huge weight he carrys with him
This song makes me so emotional but happy for some reason. It's like you could let your shitty past hold you down or you could use it as motivation to be stronger.
I'm sorry to be "that" person but the song is depicting the opposite of what you think. The person singing is saying what media thinks happens if you go through trauma but really he just has to deal with it and never really makes anything good out of it. This can be seen because he says when he was 13 he was president but that's impossible just like everything else he said.
yeah its sarcastic. im so glad daddy didnt love me cuz it helped me become thr president of the world at age 14. the message i get is that he may have liked a little more parental love?
If you're like me and tried to listen to this on spotify but couldn't find it, it's because on spotify it's just called "daddy" and not "daddy didn't love me". I might be the only one who struggled with this problem lol
This song hits different, especially when I’m in my usual funk like tonight. Sometimes I wonder if my father ever loved me at all; why would he disown me when I was clearly struggling with depression? Why did he never reach out to me during those days, to see if I was okay or even alive? The confusion and pain still comes back sometimes, wondering if I wasn’t good enough or useful enough to be loved. I know better these days, that my value isn’t tied to those things and all I can do is keep living and telling myself that I didn’t deserve the treatment I received, even if it feels like a lie during these depressive episodes. I hope we all eventually overcome these awful physical, mental, and/or emotional scars our parents left on us, because there’s always hope for a better future.
if i could listen to any song for the first time again, this would be that song. nothing will every recreate the whiplash and awe i felt the first time i heard this
The first two verses... literally me.. but my dad loves me... he’s just schizophrenic and use to get beat by his dad and also emotionally abused... he raised me on his own since my mom left me when I was a few weeks old. She left me in the crib home alone and dad got home from work.. he did his best. I stopped the beatings at age 17 and told him if he ever laid his hands on me again I’ll break his wrists. Lmao we are good now though 🤘🏻
I have never experienced anything like this but this song gave me the chills because you can hear how damaged the experience made him. I'm sorry to everyone who had to go through stuff like this and truly hope your lives get better.
i both hate and love this song. this song makes me recognize all of my traumas and i hate it because i want it to get out of my head. tired of people saying that im stronger now since ive been through those. nothing changed, im not stronger, im still sensitive even if i dont seem like it. i want to wipe the memories away and i just want everyone to shut up. but i love the song for the beat and how the meaning behind it can be interpreted from different angles. trying to solve the meaning makes me distracted from actual problems i have which makes me so happy. i know ignoring those problems dont help, but i have nothing else to do to help. so i listen to music like these, it mentally smacks me in the head with big bold words. *im not going through this alone* and i have others who are willing to help and i willing to help them. im happy to have met such amazing people that help me go through all my trauma.
To anyone going through a hard time, whether it's abuse or something else, remember that you're capable of wonderful things. Just keep holding on. You're a one in a million. 💜💜💜
I don't know why, but I imagine at the end when he's talking about his accomplishments, it's actually him playing pretend and boasting on the internet, and at the guitar solo he's actually like playing a guitar in front of a camp fire and a boy sits next to him and they hold hands :) Also I don't live with a father who doesn't love me, but sometimes it feels like it because aside from bringing me to his place for his birthday last month, he hasn't visited since he moved out. And sometimes, I wish he treated me the way he treats my brother, just so my brother wouldn't feel neglected. My father does abuse my brother, and he's too stubborn to realize it when called out. So they just don't talk anymore. My brother is thirteen going on fourteen.
the whole song, his word seemed strained and hollow, laced with sarcasm. He didn't do any of those great things, and even if it did, it's highly unlikely it wasnt because of that trauma.
My late father told me I was never going to amount to anything my whole life. Sooo 4 years later I did a single meeting with the principal of my dream school and they took me in instantly after seeing my work. The same work my father had shat on for years. I'm omw to the international academy I always wanted,majoring in the same subject I love so much and he hated so much. Don't wanna jinx it but I'm also in a very healthy relationship after him saying nobody would ever want me for the way I am and ironically enough that's the same way that got him. Listen guys,family ain't shit if they don't act like your family. Don't let them hold you down.
bro , this hits too close to home. Literally at age 8 he was serving time. Age 10 he was about to die (from a fire and old age) Age 11 my father passed away. He did bad things but I really can’t help but miss him.
Honestly in my personal opinion I THINK the song is about a abusive father, he's so abusive that the son starts taking drugs that makes him hallucinate (thinking that he's a millionaire, curing cancer, ect.)
i always thought this song was about the anger directed at society for glorifying trauma instead of treating it like the shitty things it is. trauma is trauma, sure some people turn the negative energy into something beneficial but for many it’s just something they have to struggle with. people talk about how “what you expirenced made you who you are today” but trauma doesn’t define you
To the person who read this, It’s been hard for you, I know, and it makes me sad that you don’t see yourself in the way I see you. Sometimes they are things in life that cause us to loose ourselves, and the way you have is so unimaginable painful. I miss your smile, the way your eyes light up the whole room just by the sound of your laughter. I miss the way you accepted the way you look in the mirror without cursing yourself out about how ugly you look. I miss the way you didn’t think of yourself as a failure because everyone makes mistakes, we all have flaws and we all aren’t perfect. It’s painful to see that no one around you seems to see the pain trough your eyes, but, stranger, I do, I see how heavy your heart is and how comforting the sadness for you might be, how afraid your heart is of happiness because it disappears in the end, right? You don’t know how much impact you have in this world and it’s sad to see that your demons fight against you and want to take over you. Because you do make change, it’s something so simple and little that brightens up someone’s whole world, it can be a small smile from your lips, the way you look at things you’re passionate about, the way you make yourself eat even though it’s been hard for you lately, the way you zoom out and go in your own world, you brighten up my world by reading this, it means a lot to me that you’re here, existing, but I don’t want you to just exist, you deserve to feel alive. You deserve to get up in the morning and feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel something- to feel every damn second alive in this lifetime. It’s heartbreaking that you think you’re not capable of being loved, because you are, I love you trough all my words and I hope you let it happen in your heart. Love is scary, I know, maybe you heart had been broken once and since then you wanted to be rather numb than feel ever again, it hurts me how you punish yourself, does it not deserve love? Because YOU DO deserve love, please forgive yourself, it’s not your fault that the demons want to take over your beautiful heart. You’re not a bad person for distancing yourself from others, but you deserve someone to talk to, you deserve someone to listen. I am listening, you can tell me what’s wrong. It’s everything, isn’t it? There’s something pulling your heartstrings on the ground and no one seems to understand how misunderstood you feel, it’s heartbreaking to know that I am behind the screen and can’t give you a hug, that’s why I will give you a big warm virtual hug and send you lots of love :). You matter. You are worthy. You are loved. You deserve good things. You deserve someone to listen. You deserve to eat and drink. You deserve to feel good and alive. You deserve to smile. You deserve a hug. You deserve to be all the things you want to be, because you deserve to have and feel good things happening to you and have a fulfilled life. I know I might not know you personally but I care about you so much, I write this because I want you to stay here with me, I want you to hold on a little longer because you matter so much to me, because I will not let you give up on yourself. I want you to see that you should not give up on yourself because you DESERVE GOOD THINGS. I want you to look back on the time when you were a kid, you didn’t give up when you tried to swim for the first time, you didn’t give up when you tired to walk for the first time and fell, you never gave up on yourself, you always kept on pushing forwards, so why can’t you now? I know it’s tiring, your mentally tired, but dont your younger self deserve good things? look back at your eyes that used to be full of hope, look back on those dreams. Don’t let yourself fall, you deserve better. We will both fight, I will fight for you. I won’t let those demons get to you. You can hold on to me, I won’t let you down :). Whenever you feel lonely, then look at the sky, I always look at it and think about you. Yes, you, because it makes me happy that there’s someone looking right back, maybe we can’t see each other but I can feel your presence here with me and that’s enough for me, because I am glad your heart is beating and you’re still fighting. You’re so much stronger thank you think, you didn’t leave your spot on this earth even if you wanted to, you belong here, even though it doesn’t feel like it, when you don’t feel like belonging than build your own home here, put all your love in it and dreams. Think of you as a star when you feel alone, you shine because your heart is good, no matter what mistake you made, no matter about the past you had, you’re one of the stars that shine bright in the universe because you’re heart is beautiful, that’s why the demons in your mind wants to have it. As one of the stars you see others stars, maybe they have felt the same way as you do at some point in there life, but they lighten up the universe with each other’s presence. You’re a star for me, maybe you don’t see it yourself but I can see it, you’re beautiful from inside and out, your body is beautiful the way it is. You make me happy by reading this, you make me feel something by your presence and when you can make me feel that way than you also make other people feel that way about you too. I hope you stay for yourself and don’t let your story get written by others but by yourself, it’s your story not theirs. As you can see, I say a lot of “I hope” because I have hope for you even if you don’t have it for yourself, I see hope in you even though you might want to give up. That’s why I hope you won’t see the world in darkness and will see it colorful again, I hope I will give you a glimpse of hope and make the world you see a bit colorful for today. My favorite color is yellow, and I hope the next time you see the color yellow you will think about my words. If someone left you than don’t blame yourself, don’t think you weren’t enough, don’t lower yourself for someone who couldn’t see the awesomeness in you. If you lost someone I am so sorry for your loss, they want you happy, I hope you don’t feel guilty or regret because you were there, you spend enough time with them, they want you to be happy. They are in a good and safe place now. If someone broke your heart than I am so sorry that they couldn’t see the way you look so beautiful because of the heart you have. Anyone who gets to be with you, doesn’t know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they is :). If you aren’t accepted at home or in general than I am so sorry that you have to deal with someone/ something you shouldn’t be ashamed of, I accept you and support you, I accept you as a human being no matter what race, religion, nationality, skin color, or sexuality you have. You’re safe here with me :). You’re not useless, you’re not a burden to anyone. You’re not a problem, you’re human and your feelings are valid. You’re not being dramatic. Please don’t starve yourself, you deserve food and to drink, I know it’s hard. It hurts to see that you’re in so much pain :( you deserve so much man, don’t let your emotions control you. Don’t let them get the best of you. I am sorry no one is noticing, I wish /hope I could take your pain away for today or even for a moment while you’re reading this. If no one told you, I am so proud of you, you’re reading this and it’s enough for me to be proud of you because you’re here and that’s all that matters to me. If it’s night for you, go to sleep, I know it’s hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, don’t let them fight you. If it’s day for you, don’t start it by such sad music, I know it’s impossible to have a good day with such mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water everyday in the morning and so on.. You will start building little healthy habits. If it’s evening for you, you’re probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know it’s okay to feel the way you feel. You don’t need to be scared, of course you’re overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldn’t? But it’s important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self care, such as taking a bath for example? You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed. And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that you’re so strong for breathing despite the pain, I know you will make it :) I believe in you. All I want for you is to stay here, I really mean all my words, even if there is a lot of unsaid things I want to tell u and my text is getting longer and longer,I want you here. I hope one day your smile will become a genuine one where you don’t need to fake it anymore, because I can’t say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. You’re worth more than every fucking cent in this world. You can let go for today, I got you, you can cry your heart out as much as you want, but don’t let it tear you down and let your emotions control you by giving up. Crying is not weakness. If you still feel alone I dedicate you a song as your friend. “Dusk till Dawn- Zayn feat. Sia (I prefer the slow version)” I hope you can think of me and will remind yourself of my words, I will for sure think of you. In case no one told you and you’re unsure yourself, you’re a good person and I am so happy you’re here. I hope this is enough to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. Enough with beating yourself up for today, okay? Life for those who couldn’t, smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like there’s no other, hug like its your last one. If you read all of it, until tomorrow my friend :) have a good day and great years. I love you so much and am so proud of you, I hope you will remember my words- becho, the stranger that cares more about you than anything :)
Wow... thank you so much kind stranger! I wish you honestly the best in life! Don't forget to smile everyday because smile on your face makes you beautiful
personally i believe this song is about how people feel like if they didn’t have a hard life, they’re a brat. as a child, i’ve seen it all too much. i used to have this incredibly toxic friend who would lie about everything and unfortunately i believed her. i thought that she was living in a home that was falling apart and had an empty pantry, i thought she was grieving over her uncles death, i thought she suffered from adhd, anxiety and depression.. i thought so many things. but, i recently found out that she was lying to get the approval of others. the teachers would let her take breaks from class, which she would use to get out of doing work. i can’t even remember her ever actually trying. at the time i was having issues with my mother, whom would call me names, take advantage of me, guilt me, etc. and my best friend had died a few years earlier. it took me so long to express how i was actually feeling. but, no one even cared. they were all too busy with her to even notice. this was so hardcore that i would bawl my eyes out in the middle of class and all i got was a few weird glances. one day, i got in a big fight with her. this is when my true self came out. i began screaming and yelling at her, telling her how i felt. she began sobbing, telling me that “i was like her family” or “she’s having a hard time too” and stupid twelve-year-old me didn’t notice that she was guilting me just like my mother. i went silent and continued doing my work while one of the teachers took her out of class to go calm down. i was seen as the bad guy and maybe i was. but the least i can do is admit it. edit: oh lord, i just spilt my heart out on the internet again
I blared this song at an elementary school once...because kids wondered what I listened to (we all shared music when I tutored them, for a project). No one appreciated the "AND HE TOOK NUDE PHOTOS OF MY BODY!" part. So worth it.
The part that resonates most with me is how despite everything, he still holds his Daddy on a pedestal. I wish he loved me. Now that he’s dead, he’s in heaven. I miss him. It’s so hard to fall out of love with your abuser. It can be so hard to hate them.
