Did I Traumatize My Own Kid?

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Mom shame tries to make us feel bad for things we don’t have to feel bad about. She will try to drag us down, hurt us, bully us. But not all things deserve feeling ashamed of. Even hard things. Even mistakes.
If you are struggling with feeling shame and feel like you are losing those arguments in your head more often than you win, you are allowed to reach out for help.
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6 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 1,3 тыс.

@prynxeofdarkness Год назад

"I hate the quietness. She always shows up when it's quiet." I felt that one *so* hard

@Jessica.8669 Год назад

I did too..

@annmarieknapp2480 Год назад

Me as well.

@GuineapigGuardian Год назад

I cried. I was raped and blamed by my own family for being pregnant by said rape when I was 17. My family didn’t believe me, and said I ruined my own life. My daughter is now 18, knows everything about her backstory because she asked me about it, and doesn’t blame me for any of it. My point is that I struggle with several of those voices in my head, and what helps me in addition to therapy, is an hour of hot yoga first thing in the morning every day. Movement helps. Talking helps. Being honest with myself DEFINITELY helps. Animals, too. I never talk about my story to gain sympathy, but to create awareness into my brain 🧠 and how I function. You materialized and summarized every single silent debate with myself into one emotional video. I thank you for that. I’ve been watching your shorts for a couple of months now, and this video sold me on to subscribing to your platform. As I have said in my yoga classes: life is good food, good company, and good sleep. Also 💕 from your furry friends Moose Riot Crash and Chip. PS I forgot to mention that I immediately sent this to my daughter.

@tourmelion9221 Год назад

I am so sorry such a horrible thing happened to you

@lisakay2810 Год назад

Hugs. You are an amazing person I'm sure. Glad you found things that help you deal with your struggle.

@GuineapigGuardian Год назад

@@tourmelion9221 believe me when I say it’s better the more I talk about it and make people aware of how people treat each other. I’m still learning to trust and creating a channel where I can speak about a safe topic such as my animals help a ton. I don’t feel sorry for myself anymore.

@GuineapigGuardian Год назад

@@lisakay2810 I appreciate that. Secretly I don’t think of myself as a good person, but more so as a person who simply tries to do what’s right. Personally I still struggle with “people pleasing” so sometimes I do suffer from my own neglect because I get caught up in making sure no one is upset with me. Life is a constant mystery but also life is a chance to be aware and to grow.

@GuineapigGuardian Год назад

Just FYI I wanted to say thank you to the both of you who responded to this post, as this is the first time in literally 18 years that I ever posted my story on the internet. It was an act of trust because there is always the possibility that someone could hate on me, and that would trigger a very rageful response from me, so I deeply deeply appreciate the positive feedback. I’m never brave enough to share my heart on such an open platform. Thank you thank you thank you 🙏🏼.

@TwinCitiesFancy Год назад

This is truly a love letter to your daughter. She'll appreciate this now, and she'll adore this later on. Seriously on point and super creative.

@starlessstephtx Год назад

This made me cry.

@lisacunningham5475 Год назад

Amen 🙌🏻

@kimmiewise1044 Год назад

No she won’t. Gwena is liter putting her daughter on a pedestal to justify her own mistakes by concluding “Yeah I caused my kid unbearable suffering but at least she is the most perfect human being and never fails so it’s okay.” Especially saying that she is “kind” and has “a better sense of justice that puts our current legal system to shame”. That is literally putting your teenager on a pedestal. No human being, even your own child, is superior to centuries of philosophical and legal scholarship that lead towards our current legal system. And trust me, I have a similar, albeit not identical, situation. My mom also tried to justify her own bad decisions by putting me on a pedestal and telling everyone how “smart” and “Kind” and “pretty” I am which led me to be extremely critical of all of those aspects because I knew my mother never meant what she said in an objective sense. She’s just projecting on to me to live a better life through me all because she made bad decisions in her youth. She even projects onto my daughter because she failed to manipulate me into being unwaveringly obedient and being exactly who she wanted to be. I understand accepting and learning from mistakes but saying “Oh it’s fine because I can force the result into my favor if I manipulate my child.” Is wrong, even if it’s for self care. This isn’t a love letter, it’s a list of demands for her daughter to conform to or else she’s a “bad mom” and what kid wants their mom to feel like that? What would have been an actual love letter is acknowledging her mistakes AND treating her daughter as a human being separate from herself. Yes they had a similar negative experience but her daughter is an independent human being who will react and deal with that experience differently and that might be negative or positive. Her daughter might make mistakes in her ability to cope with lack of a father figure, her daughter might not be effected by it in the long run, or her daughter could end up a complete disaster over it. Gwena can’t control her daughter, not her biases, not her emotions, not her desires. If in 5-10-15 years her daughter comes to her and in fact does blame her for messing up her life, her daughter is entitled to those feelings. Gwena can’t wish them away. She can’t manipulate her daughter into feeling like everything is fine when it isn’t. And to an extent Gwena has accepted this. But this video is a major step back in that regard.

@Blank.Empty.Space. Год назад

don't think you know how other people feel

@amandawhitney6255 Год назад

@@kimmiewise1044 I understand what you are saying as it may pertain to how you feel or felt in similar circumstances, , but (imo) I think that comparison is unfair- and I don't say that as 'you are wrong' for feeling that way, just that I don't take what she said to fit that scenario. Maybe the short version-( I didn't really like that version) bc it left out so much- and too much left up to speculation . This version-the whole one- I really felt her pain, but also just her unwavering love for her child- and I don't think we can fairly assume anything different, because we don't know the specifics with regards to things she does/doesn't believe or stand for. She's simply saying I support her 1⁰0%.. ....She acknowledges the pain and the struggle, but she also loves her daughter, and stands by her ( not for her) in support through it all while also encouraging her to be anything she dreams to be and I don't think anything about that is a failure

@moriahanderson Год назад

I was raised by a momma like you after my father abandoned us. And you know what? Having a mother who looks at me the was you look at your daughter has left me with no regrets about his leaving. The fierce, unyielding love you give is glorious, too, and life giving. Your daughter is blessed beyond measure.

@ABramleyBee Год назад

THIS! the power in you putting her I her place. Chills.

@Leapingriver Год назад

Honestly its better when those shitty father figures are not in the picture. The amount of harm and trauma they would have caused their kids, esp daughters, would have been infinitely worse than the trauma of them leaving. And if you have a good mother like yours and like Momma here, the hurt of them leaving is minimal. Your child knows they're loved, who cares where the sperm donor went or what he thinks

@ladyteruki Год назад

That's some raw stuff, and probably the most moved I've ever been watching your channel. This rang so true for me. Not as a mother, because I don't have children, but as someone who watches your content as one of the many, if somewhat casual, ways of healing about my experience of child abuse. I'm glad your child has her mother in her corner. Not all of us had/have that. However painful it is for you to have *her* visiting you, it's better than you letting *her* take control like some other mothers do. ...*She* ALWAYS shows up when it's quiet indeed, but I'm glad you've grown the ability to scream at her.

@cherbear1996 Год назад

Rang true for me as someone who's been there twice..two sons 16 years apart, 2 deadbeat dads...I hope this was healing for her, I know your dtr will love n respect you even more for being THAT parent..I loved this..great messaging...

@cazzi6927 Год назад

Been there with my mother....now I'm going to have to go thru this with my child...his father lost his mind and went off the deepend. He wanted to leave him at the hospital, leave and never look back. So I left him. I gave him every chance to make it work, for months,, and he just could not cope as an adult. He made it clear that he needed me 24/7 and he needed all my attention to the point that I couldn't even work. He went back home to his mothers and I haven't heard from him since. Soooooo now I have to find a nice way to tell my child...so he doesn't go thru life thinking he wasn't good enough, or that he was abandoned, or blame me for making him grow up not knowing his father...I went thru this with my mother, my father left, he tried in thebeginning, kinda, but his new wife hated me, and she doesn't let us stay in touch...but for the majority of my life, my mother and I had a rough relationship, I was mad at her all the time, and I blamed her, all the time...Imoved out too young, i turned to drugs instead, and when I got clean, I had my son, and now we r speaking again...but now I'm afraid if I don't tell my son the right thing, without lying to him, that he and I won't have a good relationship no matter how much I love him and just want him to be happy. I'm afraid my past choices r part of hisDNA, from both his parents, I pray and pray and pray that he won't ever do drugs, because addiction runs in both sides of the family, wayyyyy deeper in his families side...I pray he never has to face the struggles that I did. I hope when that moment comes, that I have taught him well enough, to not chose the easiest path, choose the right path, even when it isn't easy, even when everyine else is begging u to go the other path, pls pls choose the right path. I am so scared for his future. I look into his sweet little innocent face, and can not imagine this sweetlittl baby doing drugs in the future or even facing any struggles. I just want him to be happy and loved and I want him to know how loved he is and how happy he makes me and I pray this sweet little innocent face stays sweet and innocent. 🥰💗

@ihikealone Год назад

Same.

@tinamccormack6921 Год назад

I couldn't have said it better myself. I, too, don't have kids, but felt this raw anger and frustration that most of us have. Most of us yell at ourselves for making stupid mistakes, but we have to learn from them and try to do better next time. I am an avid viewer of her channel and I agree. This is the most honest, raw emotion that has come from this channel and we need more of it! 🥰

@kathybramley5609 Год назад

@@cherbear1996 op @ladyteruki said she didn't have kids - wrong thread!?

@genera1013 Год назад

This actually made me cry. I'm a kid who grew up with divorced parents. My dad was always there for me, but my mom was emotionally distant even when I was living with her. I saw how hurt my dad was when my mom left and I remember asking him once if he regretted marrying her because of all the pain she had caused him. He told me no because he wouldn't have me if he hadn't married her. Your daughter very likely does have trauma from her dad, but that's not on you and I think as long as she knows that she is loved she'll be okay.

@ashleystellers9793 Год назад

As a child whose father didn't want anything to do with me, this rings so true with how my mom and my step dad did for me. Thank you Gwena

@OnlyAboutTayy Год назад

The way I just cried. Growing up, I never understood why my mom left my dad, but when I got older, and got both sides of the story, I understood my moms pain. This is EVERYTHING! And I know Abbie will appreciate this now and when she’s older.

@tegztegz Год назад

This gives slam poetry vibes . I feel lucky we get to see this and feel this journey with you. Honestly would give you a standing ovation if you performed this on a stage. Thank you to your daughter too, for being so strong and brave and letting us see some of that too.

@Bananna219 Год назад

I was totally getting spoken word poetry from this as well! Love it!

@krisdiane Год назад

A sobbing standing ovation over here.

@jorden7073 Год назад

This hit me hard. My dad was physically around but not mentally and emotionally. But it hurts more to have watched my boyfriend hold our son and cry because he didn't understand how parents could leave their children. He had to endure the worst trauma of believe it or not being left in a park. He still deals with that pain even though he was adopted by his amazing parents.

@Mr_Raine 3 месяца назад

I am so sorry abt that. Neither of you had deserved that. I’m glad you two have each other and other loved ones though

@shannonbrice8012 Год назад

This made me cry.... when I tell people I don't regret being with an ex (who was toxic af) people think I still either want to be with him OR that I loved the toxicity. I don't regret it because I learned how strong and resilient my children and I are. That relationship radically changed me for the better. It taught me not to ignore red flags or my gut feelings. It taught me what I really wanted in a partner and I am not settling for anything less. I would rather be in no relationship than a bad one. It is better to leave a toxic/violent relationship than stay and teach the children this is normal behaviour.

@sidonia1409 Год назад

You know that pain in the back of your throat when you’re trying to fight back tears? That’s what I felt while watching this and that deep breath you took when you got her to leave, I felt that to my core. Thank you for sharing, for being so real.

@justanotherstory3027 Год назад

This really hit me to my core. I have these conversations in my head constantly. I have a disabled 2 year old and his dad abandoned us when I was 8 months pregnant. I've struggled with the guilt so much that his dad doesn't want to be and won't be in his life. I've felt like I was depriving him of something he needed and I was screwing him up by the choices his dad and I made. I was stupid enough to get pregnant by that man and he walked away. I've cried and cried and cried about it but you've shown the thinking I've just now come around to. Its not my fault for his dads choices and the only thing I can do is be there for him and try to make the best of everything for him no matter what. You didn't have to do this video, but sincerely thank you for doing it 💜 You made a huge difference and will continue to make a difference in not only your daughters life but everyone's who ever watches your videos lives as well. Thank you so much gwenna 💜💜💜

@jnbg61584 Год назад

please know that it's not your fault, either. I know you typed that, but please believe it with your entire being. your child's father is not worth your thoughts 💜 he has a parent that will fight the world for him, and that's enough

@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909 Год назад

He left you two. You didn't do anything. That was on him and him alone

@KarinVoll Год назад

Hey, as someone who cried in this video for so many reasons *and* as a now 36yo who grew up without a dad from the getgo, let me tell you from the bottom of my heart. You are MORE than enough. Your child will not necessarily be broken by the lack of a parent who left. If you have a fraction of what MY MOM had and has shown me of love, compassion, empathy, radical acceptance, and drive to do the best you can with what you have, your kid will not grow up feeling like they missed on something. I had it so good with "just" her, I literally had to work in therapy through the fear of having a partner around when I have kids, because I can't control their shortcomings, only mine. (And it was an one session conversation.) With a fraction of what I had, your kid will face any bullying or abuse the world throws at them with a "how dare you" mindset instead of a "it's my fault" they will grow up with a sense of home in you, that will make them never feel truly alone and resourceless in the world, no matter what is thrown at them. And I don't say that from a high income, first world completely privileged experience. I grew up poor. Mom put herself through college while raising a kid. I always had the very best school she could possibly provide. Quality meals. Healthcare. She taught me how to be independent without being alone. She taught me the value of stuff in a way that I never ever ever felt lacking when we couldn't afford something. You need but a fraction of the amazingness that my mom had, to raise a kid who will never feel lacking for not having the other parent. You can do this. You are not alone.

@justanotherstory3027 Год назад

@@jnbg61584 I do have days when my confidence that I made the right decision in letting his dad walk away but with therapy and hearing success stories of it can be done I know its tough but I can do it. I've been crushed by life's screwed up way of destroying me since I was born but I know now it just made me into the person that I am today and that I won't ever give up and I will fight for my son until my last breath and even then I'll come back as a ghost and haunt some mf's until they see im never going anywhere and will be by his side forever lol. But truly thank you for the words of encouragement. On days like today I really need them. Thank you💜

@justanotherstory3027 Год назад

@@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909 I know that but growing up sick and disabled I know how devastating it is when no one wants to take accountability. His dad won't take accountability so I will always step up and take it so he never has to feel the way I did. He's my everything and I will forever try my best to make sure that he never gets hurt and if he does because it's inevitable I'll make sure I'm always there for him to lean on and be there to comfort him in his darkest times

@crypticmedicine Год назад

As someone who grew up in theater and performing arts... this is mind-blowing. The delivery of that final monologue was EXCELLENT, honestly much better than a lot of professional actors I know can pull off (granted, the theater community in a midsized midwestern city is not exactly an oasis of world-shatter talent, but I digress...). It's both artistic and honest and I love it. I was honestly a little worried when I read the title, because my mom used to use "mom shame" as an excuse for everything. She can be quite narcissistic, and it was common for her to blame my absent father or abusive stepfather for her own bad behavior, saying "I was just so afraid and ashamed, so I had to do it." But, yeah, this ABSOLUTELY was nothing like that, and not anything like what I expected to be completely honest. I thought it would be something like a confessional vlog, and really sad, like all those times my mom would spend the hour (unfortunately not an exaggeration) after I got home from school telling me how ashamed she was of all her choices but "at least she got me out of them." So I never expected such fierce pride and stalwart, honest things to be said about this aspect of trauma and parenting, and it was liberating. I actually teared up when you started talking about Abby -- I felt as inspired and grateful and proud of her as you are. I think that's a sign of great art--making someone feel things that are impossibly huge and meaningful, even if they have never or will never experience what you have, and really impacting their lives. I mean, my partner and I are excited to gentle parent one day, AND I eat Tahín now?? Life = changed. Hearing you speak with such fierce, compassionate determination and banish Mom Shame in the name of your own accomplishments and pride in your daughter and family was so incredibly heartwarming. I even feel a bit more prepared to deal with my own shame because of the good example you set, and I'm glad to gotten to engage with your work again. Thanks for doing what you do, and keep rockin' on 🎸 🎶

@MelissaThompson432 Год назад

One of the most adult things I ever learned as a child is that in some ways adults are exactly the same inside, emotionally, as kids, and they don't know everything and they make mistakes. And that's okay. It's not always good. But it's okay. You forgive, you deal, you move on. You don't make it about you. And you especially don't make it about your future. Of all the kids I've ever "met," your kid impresses me as having that understanding. And that's thanks to you.

@RainbowDaffodil Год назад

This was the most honest, raw, emotional, beautiful thing I've ever seen! So many of us get chased by our own thoughts, the mom guilt, on a daily basis. It's hard to tell it off. Thank you for letting us in, for letting us see this 💗 your daughter is so lucky to have you!

@seysamato 9 месяцев назад

Thank you for that Momma Qwenna

@armbones8519 Год назад

This was genuinely fucking beautiful. Thank you so much for all you put out into the world. I don't speak to my parents because of the abuse and trauma that they inflicted upon me so I've never had that blueprint of what a good parent is like. I constantly panic that, when I do have kids, I'll end up exactly like them. Watching you and the strength, wisdom and painstaking effort you put into raising your children - watching how they grow and blossom because of that - reminds me that there are more rolemodels than those two people from my past. There are wonderful people like you who I can learn from and who can help me in creating a blueprint so my kids won't have to go through what I did. Your content has genuinely changed my outlook on parenting. Thank you.

@SlayByJay Год назад

The fact that you are able to see the abuse your parents inflicted on you and stepped away and aren’t allowing them to abuse you anymore is one of the most, if not THE most, brave and courageous thing a human can do. The fact you did that goes to show you how amazing you are and the great parent you will come to be one day. You always want to give better to ur child than you had. I’m proud of you and you’ll do great.

@xAshuriix Год назад

I'm sobbing right now, man. As the daughter of an absentee father that I wasn't able to meet or reconcile with before his death earlier this month, this rings so incredibly true and raw and honest and painful. Just... damn.

@butterflynerd0078 Год назад

As a daughter who was abandoned, but with a mom who stayed, this is so incredible. Thank you for making this video. It's like a conversation in so many ways, one from that mom, and two from that inner mom we all have. Your raw content is so amazing and transformative and impactful!

@jordanisbadnews Год назад

You are an absolutely incredible human being and mother. This was moving and beautiful, I'm sobbing. That clap back at mean Gwenna shook me deeply, and I think I needed this today. Judging by these comments, a lot of us needed this. Thank you 🖤

@notoriousnitram3996 Год назад

Holy shit, I'm stuck in bed sobbing and just feeling like a shell. I always find your videos give me the little strength to get up and be a bad ass who gets their dishes done. Thank you so much for everything you do.

@PeggyCorrell Год назад

This hit home, not as a mom, but as a daughter. My mom has continues to repeat to us that she would never change her past, because she was gifted us. If it wouldn't been for our father, she wouldn't have us. You have and continue to be an amazing momma to all three of your kiddos and Thank you for sharing these struggles. its so important for others to see they are not alone.

@shannonlindsey7858 Год назад

Fully and openly weeping. I don't even have kids but this is SO relatable for anyone who fights with their regrets on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. You are wonderful, your daughter, your whole family is wonderful and I'm glad you're here. ❤

@YrBoiNana Год назад

Gwenna’s neighbors be like: 😮. “LET IT OUT QUEEN!! You are an INSPIRATION!!”

@marisrom858 7 месяцев назад

I’m not even a mother and this made me sob, because I wish my mother had made that choice. This is a beautiful tribute to your daughter.

@grriot Год назад

This hit me like a freight train in the absolute best way. People like you make social media fantastic. I had to grab bags and leave when my kiddo was 2 because my husband's inability to take care of his own mental health had degraded too far. I couldn't parent both of them and a choice had to be made. Less than a year later we BOTH found him dead in his living room. That decision and the trauma and guilt still haunt me to this day 6 years on. My Mom nor my Grandmother could manage to break the cycle, but goddammit I did, and that is shit to be celebrated. THANK YOU FOR BEING AN AMAZING HUMAN!!

@SlayByJay Год назад

You’re so brave & strong. I hope you and ur amazing child are healing and happy

@mariemoonpie830 Год назад

I thought this was gonna be a fun silly video. Boy was I wrong

@FanpiresLabyrinth Год назад

As the daughter of an absent father, this was very cathartic to hear. Not only in realising how my own mum might be grappling with how her past choices and how they affect me, but also in remembering that I don’t need to base any part of my self worth in a man who didn’t deem me important enough to know. I used to be really angry as a kid in part because I blamed her for copulating with a man who ended up hurting me so much, but eventually I figured out that his lack of care doesn’t equate to even a tiny fraction of her love. My mum made her choice to stick by me and that left me lucky enough to have a parent who sees me beyond my damage and who loves me for who I turned out to be. To anyone else who has a hard, complicated, or just plain bad relationship with one of or both of their parents, it’s a cliché but you really honestly are not alone. Realise that you are doing what you can with what you’re given and be kinder to yourself because of that fact.

@karenceasario491 Год назад

Wow, this one made me cry real tears, I struggle with this inner conversation everyday. I pray that one day I can win that argument just like you just did. I'm so grateful that you happened across my feed and I took the time to watch.

@elizabethjennings231 Год назад

Great video and thank you for being so raw with us. I needed this as a woman with no children but I take care of my 17 year old sister. That demon comes in many forms and it's not always clear how she will present herself but it's nice to see an example of someone standing up to her and yelling at her until she leaves. It's so therapeutic.

@Julie-bq6iz Год назад

I had a similar senerio, but left at 5 months pregnant. Best decision I ever made. The abuse was over for me AND never affected my child. My child is now a beautiful young adult who is the center of my heart.

@margaretb.jackson6600 Год назад

Lady, you hit the nail on the head with this one. Thank you for your dedication to healing and using your talents to break down the common sense some of us have turned off. Many of us moms are punishing ourselves for our own growth. You have a valuable platform that is helping so many of us heal. Continued abundance to you and yours.

@kcrazyandie74 Год назад

Thank you for posting this. We all have demons from our past that still try to rule our lives, and how we deal with those demons is crucial for our own personal growth. I a recovering meth addict with just shy of 22 years away from that world and I use to beat myself up for having lived that life, but when I chose to confront those demons I was able to take all the trauma and turn it into something good, not just for me but for others that struggle with them too and now use my story to help other people find the way to confront and overcome them all. You are an amazing human and I love everything about you!

@sirenfitzpatrick183 Год назад

watching this brought me to tears. my mom chose my abusive father's brother, my even worse stepdad, over me because I "traumatized her". watching your videos have given me some closure and seeing this made me think " dam, I wish my mother saw me this way". props to you, your kids, your parenting and the type of person you are. I have such a high respect for you and your family.

@cstump2005 Год назад

Oof. It’s almost like you were in my head. Not the exact same situation but close enough that it felt very personal. It’s interesting how many of us have such similar thoughts and feelings

@mfowl677 Год назад

As a new mom, who grew up without a father as a child. I've really come to appreciate all the rough challenges my mom had to face to raise me alone on a whole new level I didn't know was possible. He had his chance and he ghosted his family, now I have my little girl and it just blows my mind that he chose to miss out on the joy of raising a child. So this... this is fucking beautiful. Thank you for making this video.

@houndreactions4453 Год назад

Thank you for spreading this. I have a friend in recovery going through raising her girls alone. I think this is something she could use to hear

@ChallieWallie Год назад

Please, tell your friend she is loved

@chapstickaddict435 Год назад

Honestly my boyfriend and I were having a conversation yesterday about my previous relationship and I mentioned how I regret that I had stayed but also ignored every red flag along the way and still stayed. However, I did say that that brought me to where I am today. I don't have a child but I completely ignored the red flag when he told me he would leave me if I ever got pregnant. That experience though in some ways I regret it, I also know it helped me in choosing a loving partner over a partner who I felt I could save. We both smiled over the fact of knowing even in our worst relationships we eventually chose each other. I learned my lesson and am proud of that. I am proud of you mommacusses for being an example for your daughter.

@AmbiCahira Год назад

Very powerful. 💜 The way I healed my inner wounds happened when I got a dog that had just as much anxiety as I had and I had to step up for the both of us to be the safekeeper and guide in her life, the rock in her storm. It sounds like your healing also was born out of being needed the same way you needed the person you are now. It's a journey that is hard to explain to become the person you needed but wow it's a cool feeling when you reach it.

@aimeehealy8150 Год назад

This hits home so much with my oldest son! His father has been in legal trouble his whole life. My now husband legally adopted him and he is smart, talented and thriving. It was a rough start, but we made it. He will graduate from high school this year. ❤ Thank you for sharing your story. Your daughter is amazing and you are an amazing mom! 🥰

@monicareno4088 Год назад

WOW!! I F-ING LOVED THIS VIDEO!! Such a powerful message that hits home not only for mothers who have been in a toxic relationship, but for ANYONE who has been through trauma. Thank you for sharing your story with us lady. This hit me on multiple levels as someone who had an abusive father and who helped raise my sister’s kids after she got out of abusive marriages and relationships. This brought me to tears with the power of the message. Thank you Gwenna.

@EclecticLover Год назад

You did nothing wrong. You're able to empathize with your daughter and you were able to keep her safe. Sometimes we dont realize those warning signs because we paint those red flags with that false love. Your daughter is so amazing, I can tell from those shorts. I am a 16 year old and I look up to you and hope to be like you as a parent. I also understand that pain of truama and being hurt by someone especially at a young age, and you two are so strong. You are an amazing mother and creating a wonderful future with your teachings. I truely and deeply mean this. Edit: this is also an amazing visual representation of intrusive thoughts especially when youre at your calmest.

@larakaramazova777 Год назад

Your authenticity is so refreshing in this dark world. Thank you.

@MrsEvilRX Год назад

I am so gobsmacked by how authentic you are. You never had to share any of this. It's no one's business. You chose to share your truth an pain and your daughter's because you know other people are going through it to. It's refreshing to see someone be authentic and share the dirty parts of life online not just the IG version they want us to see. Thank you for caring enough to share.

@XpriscillaxcyanideX Год назад

Wow, just wow. Thank you for sharing. It moved me so much you got a girl misty eyed in the club

@SASSY_RESIN_GAL Год назад

That was moving, moved me right to tears. Thank you. My son is now 29 and does not even remember my ex. Getting him away was the right thing to do for me too. He is perfectly wonderful and has given me my 1st granddaughter. Thank you again.

@jan4222 Год назад

Thank you, Gwenna, for speaking for those of us who can't articulate these feelings, but know exactly what they are. Sometimes we are hanging on crosses of our own making and this shows us there is a path to healing.

@alanahedding121 Год назад

I felt this in my core and am now fighting back tears. I could never put all this into words and you hit the nail on the head. Thank you.

@xdoctorsatanx Год назад

This was powerful. I'm currently in therapy and this was moving. Thank you Gwenna for putting things like this out here. I love your channel and it's helped me so much already I can't wait to see what else you create 🖤

@lizedwards8 Год назад

How did you get such amazing insight and attitude? I don’t have any kids and that’s OK… I’m 58 years old and you have figured out so much! You are definitely a woman to be admired, respected, and held in the highest esteem! Your children are very, very lucky! Thank you for doing everything you do! 💜

@irawr256 Год назад

I’m crying. This must be how my mother felt. This was raw and perfect and you’re giving a voice to so many. ❤️

@LingTinaTV Год назад

This made me think about my mother. We were in a similar situation when I was growing up. I still remember her as the strongest woman alive who loved me more than anything. Thanks for sharing.

@jackelliot9680 Год назад

I have never gone from fine to ugly crying so fast from a RU-vid video before. My situation wasn't exactly the same with my dad, but my kids' (plural) father...well. Thank you. I really needed to hear this 😭😭😭 And I'm SO grateful for my sister. She's been there for us the whole way.

@algorithm1313 Год назад

I (a broken family kid here) have recently thought I actually might have kids You have helped me prepare mentally and love your content

@LondonLeapardpool Год назад

I dont even have a child or a husband and I was so moved I'm crying, this is so raw and beautiful thank you for sharing with us and I wish the best for you and yours!

@mintyleaf8796 Год назад

I am the daughter of a woman who made these mistakes - but also fought these fights, won these victories, supported me through the loss of a living father, and loved me fiercely for all that I was and all that I became… listening to you have this argument with yourself made me cry. In a Beautiful way. Thank you for this. It was cathartic. I love and respect everything my mom went through to help make me who I am today. I am sure your daughter does too.

@retro5533 Год назад

I’m not a parent but it’s something I’ve wanted to be since I was able to reflect on my own issues with the guy who sired me, and later after realizing how complicated my relationship with my mother is. I’ve found yours and other gentle parenting channels to be calming and healing. I’m 30 and struggling right now but this gives me confidence to know that at the very least I’ll be equipped for the hard road when and if I ever have a family of my own. Thank you.

@missadnama1763 Год назад

*hugs* I can hear the passion in your voice. This speaks to my core. I too had a child with an abusive man who deserted my son when I chose to move on from his abusiveness. Reaching out for help is one of the best things I've ever done for myself. Thank you for sharing this. You've help so many people not feel alone by speaking out. Situations that we have endured do not define us, but rather they happened to us.

@isabellrc Год назад

I FELT IT; this went straight to my heart, then hit those parts of me that feel like sh.t….. I know this needs to be shown to everyday peeps just going through it, and those of us who are battle scarred! Excellent job ❤

@Ladyoflight77 Год назад

I need to see this. I am now a single mom,from a long line of single moms. But I'm watching my girls grow up into amazing, beautiful compassionate young woman. And I know it's because of all the lessons learned from my childhood. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! For this reminder.

@Skittlez_Smash Год назад

Mommacusses, Gwena, beautiful mother, thank you for sharing this. It takes strength to shut up the negativity, and I will continue to share every single one of your videos with my mother. She deserves the strength to fight back like you have. Thank you for showing this and so many other of the horrible and beautiful sides of being a mother and struggling. Much love!

@Lullayable Год назад

I'm seeing this as someone whose mother didn't walk away. Mine stayed, and I'm only now, at 30, realizing how fucked up I've become because of the constant need for paternal approval. His latest jab has been to tell me I'd only ever do enough once my mother and him are buried. This was said right after we held my favourite uncle's funerals and it hurt in ways I cannot express. So, from this side of things, you've definitely made the right choice to not raise your daughter in a violent, aggressive, pressure-filled climate. I'm glad you walked away, and I'm glad you're sharing this with other people and mothers who need to hear this. Thanks Gwenna ❤️

@damoniquejohnson5413 Год назад

This was beautiful. Where were you before I spent so much money in therapy. I’m glad I did the work but you bring the messages from an “I got through it and so can you” point of view. Never pointing the finger and blaming or shaming. You acknowledge past mistakes and behaviors and make adjustments, not excuses. Simply beautiful. Love your content. I pray continued growth and success for you and your family.

@28mandimoo Год назад

I have never felt more seen in a moment than now. Thank you❤ I've been following you from tik tok for awhile now and i have been trying to use a lot of the parenting tools you teach about. I was abandoned by my birth father and ghosted pretty much from the time I was 6. My son is 5 and my daughter is 18months. My kids father and I have recently split up and he hasn't been as present as I had hoped and it's been bringing up a lot of these feelings you have described. I'm in thearpy and working through a lot of things but having an influencer I adore and admire make me feel seen in this moment is more than I could have ever asked for. Thank you so very much Gwenna 💗..... p.s I always thought we would have been awesome real life friends 😊✌️

@SlayByJay Год назад

I love how this is Gwenna’s way to heal herself and in turn, she is healing all of us. Thank you for sharing your story. You are not alone and we love you!

@saragreen2502 Год назад

This made me cry and it’s talking about a situation I’ve fortunately never even had to deal with. You’re aweseome, Gwenna. Thanks for being so real. It makes the rest of us that struggle feel less alone ❤️

@sitapanje8650 Год назад

Hello, As someone who fits in your daughter's shoes a little too well, it felt amazing to hear this. I won't lie it made me cry because my dad is still in my life and is hurting me and my mom isn't at a stage in her life where she can keep him out of it. Thank you for being someone who made me feel a little less alone

@JLOMBARDO0225 Год назад

This hit me harder than I was prepared for.... The quiet.. That's when she shows up. Ugh I hate her. Therapy really does help. ❤

@Trufriend61 Год назад

Thank you Gwenna. You brought to life that inner demon many of us live with and showed us how to deal with that negative self-talk. You even show us that it's not easy to overcome but it is so worth it in the end. It's taken me most of my 61 years on this planet to overcome those demons to realize I AM worth it and everything I've done in my life has been worth the effort! I'm certain this video was not an easy one for you to make but I am very glad you did. 💜

@susandunks7057 Год назад

I'm almost 40 and you're helping me be a better mom to my girls. Though I try everyday to be better, you help me realize it's ok to not be perfect as long as you show love and understanding

@michellenuzzello3015 Год назад

just when i think you can't be any more relatable...💞

@lunahmarie4867 Год назад

I'll second that!! 👍🏻

@michellenuzzello3015 Год назад

@@lunahmarie4867 right?...i think shes amazing...im 44...and have an 18yr old Son...He is just about an Angel...i am so blessed...We have a very simular story...

@mrs.outsider1265 Год назад

This gave me goosebumps. Absolutely beyond beautiful!! You are an EXCEPTIONAL mother and woman, and I'm so grateful that you are sharing your wonderful self with us!! Xoxo

@bpicard08 Год назад

Thank you! you so well captured the "quietness" I have, and am certain so many others have. you are talented, thoughtful and generous for sharing your gifts that do help me and so many. You, too, are not alone.❤ What a beautiful testimony of the amazingness of your daughter.

@catnordstrom9593 Год назад

This had me bawling. It hits home for myself and my feelings for my daughter! She was the product of rape but I also run into the feelings of self blame.

@bethanyhenderson8686 Год назад

absolutely bawling. Im a single mom of 2 girls, and that awful voice is my mother. Still. After all these years. A video that needed to be made, because we needed to hear it.

@SlayByJay Год назад

Damn I’m crying like a baby. I needed to see this. And i love my daughter so much. Words can’t describe. I would go thru everything i went thru again a million times knowing it would lead to her again. Being a mom is the most intense gift in the world. We are all doing our best.

@madamemelone4947 Год назад

This video is just heartbreaking. You are so strong. And yes, like someone commented - this is the best love letter for your daughter you could’ve made. ❤️ My father wasn’t always the best father… and now that I’m a mom I’m so afraid to be like him… and scare my baby and child and traumatize it like my dad fit with me and my sister…

@rylangrimes1239 Год назад

Okay. Now I’m bawling my eyes out. I am not a mother, but I am the daughter. If I heard my mother not only say those words to me, but say that to HERSELF- it would undo so much damage and pain that we have went through. I am so proud of you and your family. You are an example of what I want to be, regardless of being a parent, as a person. Well 👏🏻 freaking 👏🏻 done 👏🏻

@kathymarshall220 Год назад

Thank you for this video! Different circumstances but similar mum guilt have led me to many such conversations with myself. Sometimes you just need to remember that you did the best you could and for all the right reasons, and without that past the present you love wouldn’t be possible. 💖

@amandabolling7058 Год назад

This was so beautiful 💖 as a traumatized child now parenting a child who also doesn't have much of a father this was so meaningful and painfully exact.

@lycanri92 Год назад

Thank you for helping all of us learn to win those arguments with the intrusive thoughts in our heads. This was so impactful and I’m so glad I found this today. ❤

@mxdbscts Год назад

My mom is dying in the hospital. She always said she was so proud of me. My situation is so similar. This video hit me in my soul.

@fludderkiddie Год назад

I can’t love this hard enough despite openly weeping while watching it. I re watch this at least once a week. Thank you for making this.

@tierrateske1932 6 месяцев назад

Tears in my eyes. I also have a horrible dad who left my life before I started high school. And the most incredible mama. My mom has said things similar to this. This is so validating and beautiful to see. Thanks for sharing.

@sillybudgies4561 Год назад

THAT WAS EMPOWERING....THANK YOU...😊

@aldenbobalden Год назад

i damn near cried. i drew a lot of parallels between her dad and the people my mom dated. all verbally abusive, all explosive, all left in the dust. i didn't really know my dad for a long time. my mom's not a good person. but i can be.

@evelynmunoz5257 Год назад

This was amazing, Gwenna! I'm not a mother, but somehow this resonated with me so deeply (I honestly cried). You and your daughter are incredibly strong. I'm sending so much love to you both ❤

@LoriPeace Год назад

I'm not crying! My eyes are just sweating... it happens sometimes, when I see a strong woman declare herself. Gwenna (I hope I'm spelling your name right!), this is so good, and the bit at the end is so on point. Yes, I see my counselor every two weeks, have done for about 13 years now, and she helps me so much. I highly recommend counseling to anyone who has to deal with the voices in their head that try to tell them they are less than.

@Justpeachy823 Год назад

I cried. Gwenna- thank you so much for this. I will rewatch this throughout my life. AND I’m sorry you hurt like this also. Just Thank you ❤️🙏🏼

@maryloves1999 Год назад

This made me cry because it hits so close to home I fight anxiety and depression constantly. I'm so unbelievably lucky to have a partner who truly cares and helps me through everything

@sarahtomm3131 Год назад

This was deep! Thanks for always reminding me I'm not alone. Abs is a lucky girl 2 have u as her mother.

@ErosLuci Год назад

Honestly this is how I felt when my dad abandoned me but in the most violent way possible, and honestly this video kind of brought up feelings I held in for almost a decade. It actually felt nice to know there were words that had to be said and I’m genuinely happy to know your daughter has someone like you around to help when the deep down bad shit starts surfacing.

@pbg624 Год назад

Thank you for this. Honestly I honestly feel like this is how my mother feels when it comes to me. My father was a horrible person. And almost made my mother to not be apart of my life by trying to brainwash me. But here’s the thing. I moved out of his place and now my mother is apart of my life and my father no longer is. I always have to remind myself despite everything I will not end up like him.

@eeyore777 9 месяцев назад

“The best part of him is in her.” That was the best line for your daughter…. Good for you.

@Telenaus Год назад

hey im glad ya'll are here & im so happy i found this channel

@elibeetle-owo7 Год назад

These are things I wish my mother would say to me. Instead I will only ever be “my father’s daughter,” when I’m at my lowest and at my worst. She hates every bit of me that isn’t her.

@electricmushyy Год назад

I absolutely love your creativity with your videos you are such an amazing person ❤ VERY POWERFUL!!!!!!

@minibee.creations Год назад

i felt this. my parents are like this and this helped a lot, thinking about my mom fighting her guilt over what she out me thru eith my dad, but i feel so bad for her

@lanapresley1772 Год назад

Gwenna, I needed to see this and I thank you immensely for it. You're helping me heal and I wish the absolute best for you and your children.

@starMarie-ep1ps Год назад

This put a lot of things in perspective for me. My dad had a DNA test done on me when I was about 2 but he wasn't in my life until I was about 9 and even then he disappeared again and after a few months I didn't see him for about another 8-9 years that being the last time I saw him when I was at a funeral service for my great uncle. He made eye contact with me and then kept walking. I was 17 then and I'm 19 now. Without my mom I don't know what I would do or where I would have ended up.