DM's, What are your favorite useless magic items? 

A scroll of duck: Summons a single duck that honks and attacks the nearest person(usually the summor).

The "literally bottomless drinking mug" appears to be a normal drinking mug until you put a liquid into it. No matter how much you fill it. It's always going to be empty.

Stick of returning. You throw it, and after a few seconds it floats through the air back to you. People who can see into the Ethereal see a dog pick it up and carry it back to you.

I think my favorite one I saw online was Cowhide boots. When wearing all cows in a one mile radius become invisible, instantly hostile, and know your location.

Now I want a BBEG who robs the players of their magic items, only to find himself with a bag of squirrels and ring of rings.

McGuffin's Gem: An enchanted gem that convinces any intelligent creature that looks at it (DC 18 Wisdom save) that it holds great magical power, specifically of a sort important to themselves. A creature that learns its true purpose is immune to this effect. Was named after the gnome wizard who made it to trick thieves into ignoring his real treasures. Accidentally started a giant extraplaner war.

Cloak of billowing. For a bonus action you can make your cloak billow dramatically as if in a breeze. Has no mechanical benefit

I once heard about a Used Bag of Holding: functions identically to a normal Bag, except its exterior appearance is worn with use and age, and anything you pull out of it is coated in a thin layer of glitter

Pebble of Inconvenience: A pebble that, unless you carry it with you, always appears in a place where it can cause trouble. Need to sneak? Whops, you kicked the pebble into a metal bucket, alerting everything withing 50 feet. Trying to climb a wall? Sorry, there was a pebble there, causing you to loose your grip. Going to sleep? Good luck finding the pebble that's somehow ended up under the bedsheets/sleeping roll.

my "favorite" dumb item i gave my players once was an "orb of advice" i just gave them INCREDIBLY vague advice based on a d20 roll when they ask a question, like a magic 8 ball. Usually it'd be 1 word answers that encourage them to proceed with the adventure lol

The Serum of Falsehood sounds very useful if you are accussed of a crime, actually did it and can get the witness to drink it :D The Chainbelt of Invisibility is probably extremly funny, if u put it on a flying monster. And the fact that every magical item is always useful as ammunition since they are so hard to destroy.

That dagger of suspicion could actually be a useful distraction

My GM gave me a Magic Rock. It heals whoever it hits for 2d4. Notice I say "Hits", because it must be thrown to work, and deals 1d4 damage, THEN rolls to heal. I am saving it for when I must heal an NPC I don't particularly want to.

Amulet of Awesomeness. Amulet that is always telling you how awesome it is. It never stops and everyone can hear it.

I once gave my players 'drow sword - glows in the presence of palindromes.' I have never seen a magical item cause so many arguments (until they named their dinosaur Hannah).

The Clubs of Nunchukularity. It's two small clubs, and their special enchantment is that when you tie them together with a rope, they gain the statblock of nunchuks. Nunchuks and clubs have the same statblock.

[Unstoppable Rod] Often mistaken for the more famous Immovable Rod at first glance, the Unstoppable Rod functions in rather the opposite way as its counterpart. When the button on the rod is pressed it becomes magically incapable of remaining stationary -- the rod will move in a randomized way (1d20 x 5 feet per round, at the start of the turn of the creature that activated it), rolling or bouncing or jostling as though a thing alive. After two rounds the rod gains Swim and Fly speed as well, using the same randomized movement. If the rod moves into or through a space occupied by a creature or other object it does 1d20 magical Bludgeoning damage if the creature fails a DC 12 Dexterity Save (objects automatically take damage). Any creature attempting to hold the rod in place must succeed on a DC 30 Strength Check, at which point the rod is considered Grappled (failing the check results in the creature taking 4d6 magical Bludgeoning damage and being knocked Prone). Any creature attempting to grab onto the rod while active must succeed on a DC 15 Dexterity Check -- on a success, the creature is pulled along with the movement of the rod until they let go. Pushing the button while the rod is active will deactivate it... but this is easier said than done. It is said that some Unstoppable Rods have, once activated, gone on an unceasing rampage of chaotic destruction that would put armies and dragons to shame. No one knows what happens when an Unstoppable Rod and an Immovable Rod collide...

Okay, the Boots of Dryness would be a must have for any adventures. Especially if it keeps the socks dry as well.

Ring of Fire Detection: Range: Touch

The "Gauntlets of mini might" would probably actually be really useful for a surgeon, or perhaps even a craftsmen

A Falsehood serum can be situationally useful, for instance if a PC finds themselves captured to be tortured for information.

One of my favorites that I made years ago: the sword of soup. Under the detect magic spell this sword is faintly magical, radiating a faint aura from the school of enchantment. Unfortunately, it’s only magical effect is that every 1d4 hours whoever bears this weapon must make a dc 15 wisdom saving throw or be compelled to make soup out of 1d4 random items in their inventory. The soup is not magical, and usually not edible. This sword was found in a raid of Drek’s Bargain Magic Items, and was among a number of defective magic items such as the Helm of Halfling Stature and the Immovable Hammer.

9:46 in so far the most useful item I mean, need to infiltrate a masquerade ball and then get away, and not only do people not know who you are under the mask they can’t even agree on what color your dress was

I'm fairly certain this isn't an original idea of mine Sword of Warning; This 3 foot modestly decorated and expertly crafted sword is subjected to a powerful enchantment that gives it a personality. The personality is fully aware as if it had 20 feet of blind sight and can, but doesn't need to sleep. At dawn the sword predicts the future and is compelled to say if "Something bad will happen today~". Should the wielder, or any of it's allies, during the next 24 hours be subjected to something unfortunate or a minor inconvenience like pricking the hand on a rose thorn, getting a paper cut, or lightly going through their ankle the sword will say that it had warned them.

If you’ve got any intrigue in your campaign, the cursed ring of curses seems like a great item. Just imagine what you could do to some noble’s reputation if you managed to trick them into thinking it was a gift from someone important before a big social event. “Ah yes, this ring was given to me by our damned king.” In fact, a bit of deception could go a long way with many of these. Imagine using the Boots of the Mermaid to convince people that someone is a disguised mermaid, or a merchant using the Pierceless Spear to convince a crowd that they’ve created a cloth so strong it can block an all out attack from a giant or a smiting paladin.

A cloak of invisibility. But it only works when nobody is looking at you

The ring of monologue would be perfect for disrupting spells that use verbal components. Can't cast the spellif you can't say anything.

Diadem of the Exodiegetic Ost (needs Attunement): Once per day, the wearer can use an Action to activate this circlet. For the next 2 hours, they will hear all any and all background music, foley sound effects and musical stings and cues that would be audible to an audience, were their life a dramatic production. No-one other than the wearer can hear this. Does not impede normal hearing (unless the noises from the circlet would drown out normal noise). By itself, flavourful and of some tactical advantage, as the character would be able to hear boss music starting, or the Metal Gear 'guard alerted sound'. However, it also comes with two cursed variants: one which scores their life as the wrong genre (comedy moments as tragedy, romance as horror, grief as upbeat romance, etc.); the other works exactly like the normal Diadem, except it plays the background music for somebody else's life.

During my very first campaign in 3.5e, my DM thought it would be hilarious to award our CE Sorcerer with a self-replicating Silver Spoon, similar to all of those cups in what's-her-face's vault in Harry Potter. It was a Masterwork item that did absolutely nothing, until you used the magic words. The magic words were to give it a name. For example, if the OWNER called it a Dinner Spoon, any time it came in contact with something that could be construed as a dinner meal, it would spontaneously burst into 1d20 copies of itself. If the copies touched "Dinner," they too would burst into 1d20 spoons for 1 hour. During our campaign, we were falsely imprisoned after being framed by the BBEG. One of the guards decided the spoon looked like a great keepsake. Well, unfortunately for him, it was quite possibly the worst decision of his life. Our sorcerer said to the guard, "Hey! That's my Soup Spoon." This was just before he was punched in the face and we were left to a roar of boisterous laughter. About an hour later, screams were heard from the top of the stairs leading to the kitchen, the clanging sounds of flatware bouncing off the floor, and then a loud metal gong as soup pot fell over, spilling its contents onto the floor. After a few minutes, a deluge of spoons flowed down the stairs, carrying all of the guards, the cook, the dog, the BBEG's henchmen, and wizard until they were crushed into back wall of the prison. Our DM was flabbergasted because one innocuous joke item had single-handedly ruined a months worth of campaign material. Let this be a lesson to everyone, The Tick was right all along, and the power of the almighty SPOON should not be trifled with.

deck of many bees: each card drawn summons a number of bees that are on the card. they may sting you but ultimately are harmless (unless you're allergic to bees)

The serum of falsehood and suspicious knife seem ultra useful for deceit

Wand of Magic Mussels - summons 3 Mussels that sing "Hello. Hello. Hello!" and the disappear Wand of Magic Muscles - Creates a cheap minor illusion of muscles on up to 10 willing targets within 100 feet of you. The muscles will not pass any checks when investigated. Cursed Ring of Fish - When equipped, gives you a swimming speed of 20 feet. Curse: while equipped, roll a d6. An illusory fish of 1) Tiny to 6) Gargantuan (species of fish TBD by DM) will appear when you awake after a short or long rest. No one else can see the fish. Orb of Defection - Can only be used once per day. When used on an object, it will inform you if it has a defect. Deck of Mini Things - Each card drawn has a chance of magically conjuring miniature version of something.

Ring of Sleep: This ring will cast sleep on you every minute while you are asleep.

The Unblocking Shield sounds like it'd be made of tin-foil 😂

Not a useless item, but an fun cured one. So Jay, Randy, and Luna make up the party. I forget their character names. Anyway, they're stuck in the Library of Eldenbrooke, the place that makes the Bermuda Triangle look like a kiddie pool. Their mission? Nabbing the Map of All Things, a treasure that's like Google Maps on magical steroids. Jay's packing Thesara's Fading Compendium-an ancient sentient spellbook, except it has dementia. Jay approaches this riddle-engraved pedestal and asks the book for advice. Now, here's where it gets interesting. We have Thesara roll for its "Arcane Wisdom with Dementia" ability. Rolls a d20... and it's a 17! Solid. Thesara, sounding like Gandalf if he were your grandpa who can't find his keys, mutters, "Ah, yes, the riddle. Just say 'I always lie,' my boy." Jay utters the phrase and I have him roll for Wisdom... He gets a 22! The pedestal vibrates and everyone holds their breath. But hang on, Thesara needs to roll for its "Reliability Check" because, well, dementia. Rolls a d20 again... and it's a 3. Instead of the Map of All Things, an accordion manifests. Thesara chuckles and says, "Oh my, it appears I've mixed up my magical catalog, eh? That’s your Map of All Tunes!" Luna rolls her eyes, rolling a 10 on her "Patience Check," undecided if she should laugh or scream. Randy rolls a 1 on his "Composure Check" and bursts into uncontrollable laughter. We do this sorta shenanigans for flavor. Thesara then attempts to save the day. "Wait! I remember now! The Map materializes with a melody!" Time for Thesara's "Last-Minute Save" roll... and it's another 3. The accordion self-destructs into a rain of keys and buttons, like a piñata at a failed birthday party. As they all stand there, dumbfounded and covered in accordion debris, Thesara, momentarily clear-headed, says, "Ah, I forgot to tell you, sometimes the magic does have a mind of its own." Then, true to form, it concludes with, "Who are you again?"

Rock of gravity detection, a rock that hangs on a rope that says which gravity is. Also functions as rock of weather detection.

Stone of healing: does 1d4 points of healing but in order to heal yourself you need to hit yourself with it and take damage for 1d4+strength modifier

Bejeweled eyepatch of one-eyed insight: this fancy eyepatch grants the wearer 24/7 TrueSight, but only in the eye that is currently covered, and only until the eye is uncovered. The eyepatch is magically opaque to the wearer, no matter what

Rope of Entanglement. As an action you can spend 10 silver to instantly entangle one creature you can see with the rope. The creature that is entangled can spend a reaction and 11 silver to reverse the entanglement to the caster.

Ring of Kung Fu theater. Favored by some monks, this ring causes several effects: 1: Causes the wearers voice to not coincide with their mouth's movements. (I.E. appears badly dubbed) 2: Changes voice to exaggeratedly masculine/feminine. 3: Fast movements cause "Whooshing" or "Snap" and "Crack" noises, with blows causing loud impact noises. 4: Leaping and/or running causes "Fluttering" noises to surround the wearer.

It's only useless if you have a lack of imagination... Some of these awaken the court jester within me... Give me some bellshoes and a yellow rubber chicken, and I'm all set for making a golem laugh itself to pieces...

"Wand of emotional damage" It can only cast Vicious mockery, but if you fail the attack, it will cast it against the user ignoring all AC and resistances. It also gives a -5 to all attack rolls. The reason it was useless its because the party was a high level party and having all your attack rolls have a -5 meant youll always get hurt.

The tunic of distraction: Not visible to the wearer, on the front the viewer sees writing compelling them to read what is on the back of the tunic, while on the back they read writing compelling them to read the front.

Okay, hear me out. The Coin of Exchange COULD be useful IF you don't need a physical merchant or shop in which to exchange it. Like you merely think of goods worth its value while holding it, and you near instantly have said goods. Granted, it would also depend on its face value, but used at a good time, it could help to prevent a TPK.

Reminds me of my campaign's "Masks of Muffling" which is a full face mask that when worn muffles all the words spoken from within them sounding much like the Pyro's mask from Team Fortress 2.

What happens when a pierceless spear meets an unblocking shield?

The Staff of Ogeb was interesting; I would have it keep basically all of its features but also be the origin point for staffs with the exact same ability for followers of other Deities, each with a slight twist depending on the nature of the deity.

The cloak of tongues, while wearing it you can taste everything within 30ft

The magical duck Each time the wearer say "duck" or make the sound of a duck, a duck appears. It has a small chance to be magical, and magical ducks can be hostile. Magical duck disappeared after a small time.

Ring of invisibility: an ordinary iron ring that is completely invisible to any and all entities observing it. Rain umbrella: an umbrella that when opened gathers nearby moisture and pours it downwards in a rain-like fashion. Sword of peace: a sentient sword that will REFUSE to harm anything and anyone.

the chainbelt isn't useless it's perfect for intimidation/persuasion checks where some acts as a ghost! the chain sounds and smoky smell can be used for added effect!

Shoutout to bethesda's Morrowind for giving us the Boots of Blinding Speed which make you too fast to control and also blind you. Also the scrolls of Icarian Flight, which let you jump over 200ft high while doing nothing to mitigate the subsequent landing.

I like the eversmoking bottle we were fighting a beholder and my character was a smoking addict so he wanted to go out what he loved. Being in smoke and we later realized the beams can't hit us because the beholder needs sight to hit us.

In my old Arclands campaign, there were these magical artifacts called "primal rings", which were rings that could be made of any sort of naturally occurring mineral, the power of which varied greatly between rings, with more rare minerals having more powerful effects. (Also there are only one of every primal ring, and are ranked from F to S tier). Cut to an encounter against a bounty hunter who attacked the party's base trying to reclaim something from them, I tell the party "they are wearing a primal ring, and it looks VERY powerful". The party treats them like they're a robber holding a gun and hands over the object willingly. Later, the party realises they left behind their ring with a note basically saying "ya, I don't need this anymore". Then they cast identify and turns out it was an F tier fools gold ring, who's only ability is to appear like a really powerful primal ring.

The keyhider ring would actually be pretty useful for cell guards. Any prisoners trying to escape would become unable to find the damned keys. And a trained guard would never need to look for them since they SHOULD be on their belt at all fricken times.

The Sphere of Potential Augury You can use this black Orb to cast the Augury spell. When attempting to do so, the DM rolls a d10 and reveals something according to the roll. The Orb can be used multiple times per day and does not suffer the penalty of alternative results that the spell entails, but the DM must still roll the d10. 1 or 2: The Orb says, "Weal" 3 or 4: The Orb says, "Woe" 5 or 6: The Orb says, "Both" 7 ot 8: The Orb says, "Neither" 9 or 10: The Orb successfully casts Augury Basically, a magic 8 ball.

Tbh a conman type of character could make great use of most of these items in some way or other.

‘Gonna make beer taste like piss water’ so… nothing changes

The gauntlets of magnetism: when the wearer attunes to these gauntlets and wears birth of them, they become magically magnetized. The wearer must then succeed a DC 20 strength saving throw or have the gloves pull themselves together. This saving throw is repeated every 6 seconds until the gloves are attached to each other. While attached, the wearer has disadvantages on all checks using hands, and cannot make attacks or cast spells with somatic components.

Necklace of Benevolence: the king of a small but growing wanted a way to ensure no assassin can kill him, so he asked for a magic item that will literally stop any attempt on his life this necklace make's anyone with hatred or killing intent to the wearer unable to harm anything by dispelling any magic, physical, or mental attacks to the wearer and makes the attacker unable to even clench their fist or walk in any capacity so long as the wearer of this necklace was within 100 meters, however, this only works on sentient beings, so monsters and animals are undeterred and poisons and natural causes were also unable to be stopped by it Despite over 1000 assassins being stopped by it for over 20 years, the king, however, failed to consider someone poisoning or tampering with his food which, since this wasn't magic, physical, or mental, the necklace couldn't stop it, leading to the kings death, what's sadder is the fact it was later the king died due to an allergic reaction he had to the food he ate

I gave my players the Plush Bandicoot. It’s exactly what it sounds like: a scruffy looking, low quality Crash Bandicoot plushie produced sometime in the mid-90s by Sony Computer Entertainment. It features a pull string that, when pulled, will cause the plushie to spin in place, slowly, and say “Whoa.” That, and the Blatant False-Hood. It’s a leather hood and cloak said to be made out of the remains of a false hydra, capable of bequeathing some of the creature’s insidious power to the wearer. Unfortunately, the enchantments on it were done incorrectly, and it now works in reverse. The wearer will no longer be able to perceive other humanoids while wearing the False-Hood.

The wand of magic misses would be good for theater

Bag of Holes The bottom of this bag of holding has a big hole in it. Any item placed inside has a 50% chance to appear in an unoccupied area nearby as if placed there.

Dagger of Most Resistance: The dagger will always deal damage as if the target resists slashing or piercing damage.

The coin of misfortune- a standard coin depicting two scenes of misfortune on either side, when attuned flipping the coin will cause it to always land on the side that is the worst outcome for you. If you are truly indifferent to the coins outcome it will spin in the air until you make up your damn mind.

Pocket watch of bootstrap, the watch spontaneously appears in somebody’s hands, when activated, it will travel back in time to the moment they obtained the watch

Solid Water boots: allow user to walk on water, however can only be taken off if the wearer is above at least 6ft of water

The Cursed Ring of Flatulence! When worn cannot be removed. If you cut your finger off the ring will painfully regrow your finger and appear on it again. At dms desecration the players rolls a flat d20. The lower the roll the worse the flatulence to the point of creating a eruption from your bowels so bad it can be heard in a mile radius on a nat 1. On a nat 20 the ring comes off.

A lot of these could find in game use. Not sure this was truly a list of useless items but it gave me a few ideas.

Scroll of True Strike. Allows the user to cast "True Strike". Is destroyed upon use

Personal favorites are the classic "Item of invisibility" where only the item turns invisible, leaving you visible and the "Boots of Questionable Stealth." You turn completely invisible and have +10 (or the like) to Stealth, but your footsteps are magnified to a near deafening volume

Here's one from the Bureau of Containment archives: A copy of The Pone Zone. An enchanted VHS tape from the mid-1070s AC. The contents are a video of a pony from Fillydelphia drawing a chalk circle on the smoothed concrete floor around her labeled "my zone" and sitting inside it, reading a copy of Popular Mechanics for two hours. Tape automatically rewinds upon ending, and plays again until manually ejected from the VCR. Viewers have reported either experiencing profound confusion while viewing, abject boredom, total enrapturement, or soul-crushing loss of will to live. The film credits name 214 ponies, zebras, and a gryphon boom operator who, according to 1030-1075 Equestrian national census records, do not exist.

I made a few. My personal favorite is a Gnat Cloud, which essentially resets the chance to hit something no matter the modifiers of the target or on the creature hit by the Gnat Cloud. All buffs and debuffs to hit are cleared, and the only modifiers not affected are environmental.

The Falsehood Serum sounds really useful when someone is about to be interrogated. Either an NPC or a party member could take it, and completely bypass any interrogation. How is this useless?

The glasses of minute seeing. The official description is a bonus to investigation, but because of the player’s mispronunciation (reading it like a span of time rather than a measure of scale) our DM let him use them (at the DM’s discretion) use them to see effects on an object up to a minute in the past. Useless most of the time, but it did help us at one point pass a code-locked door right after the person before had entered.

ring of nap: every time you have a long rest you feel well rested.

The Grass-cutter Gladius: razor sharp, but only cuts grass. The Farting Falchion: emits a loud farting sound when drawn.

Now I want an elven bard that can talk with animals, and just so happens to be good friends with the rats inside the bag of rats. So many possibilities for plot, lore, combat *AND SHENANIGANS* Imagine you're sitting around a campfire, and you notice the Elf bard, arguing with a rat, that you swear you saw get smashed by a big mallet in that last fight yesterday. When you ask the elf about it, he just shrugs and says that Julius Cheesar doesn't like being bait.

The trumpet of tomfoolery. It looks just like a normal trumpet, but it’s actually solid in the middle so it can’t play music so it’s just a scrap of metal that is in the shape of a trunpet

I can always tell when I’m having a bad day, the dad jokes make me laugh. 😅

The Invisible Cloak: not to be confused with an invisibility cloak as it doesn't render its wearer invisible, but is instead just a perfectly see through piece of cloth.

The bag of squirrels sounds like the world’s best cat toy 😂

Magic Needle: This allows a person to sow clothes faster! But, the person will receive a level of exhaustion for every minute spent sowing.

Amulet of True Strike: Spend one action to activate. On the wearer's next action, if the action is an attack, the wearer gets to roll with advantage.

The Neigh Boar Hood: A hood, when worn, causes the wearer to hear horse neighing instead of the sound made by a boar.

I can use the ring of yawning to absolutely disrespect an intimidation check: “YOU DON’T SEE GROG!!!” *passes intimidation* *yawning* I don’t see grog.

Philosophing stone A stone that speak with a calm emotionless voice about the harsh reality of being a stone

Everyone's gangster until their candle of detect light starts to shine in the dark.

Got a useless magic item that happened to be useful: Homing Boomerang: you don't roll to hit, the boomerang will always hit its target dealing 1d6 damage. However, it will return to its wielder at an undisclosed time, dealing the same damage to them. My fighter got lost in a pocket dimension after toying with The Deck of Many Things. The Donjon card specifies that you can't be found by divination spells and the like. Luckily for me I had thrown the boomerang in a previous combat so it would be attempting to hit me. I rolled a new character and the quest became to find a wizard to could track down the boomerang and thus save my fighter.

For my players : A potion. ANY potion at all. They'll preciously keep them all for «when it'll be of use»... In particular when said potions ARE useful. Each party member carry 10 potions of healing. They are ALL at 1 or 2 HP left, and nobody with any healing skill nor healing magic beside said potions, and they'll still want to keep those potions for «when they'll be useful».

The Light Saber. It looks like a Sunblade, handles like a Sunblade, lights up the surroundings like a Sunblade, but the blade is, in fact, just a projection of light, and deals no radiant damage, and can only at most irritate the most light-sensitive species, such as drow.

Used bag of holding: anything you put inside will be permanently covered in glitter. You can remove as much glitter as you like from the bag, there will always be more.

The rock of memory: When you hit yourself with it, it retells what you have forgotten.. 1d4 damage for every time you use it.

Branch of Whacking: A wooden branch that when attuned can be used as an improvised weapon with the same stats as a club. When not attuned it doe not damage and bounces off the target harmlessly while making a squeaking sound.

3:11 I would give this to an arch priest as a gift and say it will bring confidence when preforming a sermon 10:57 : Also I could win SO many drinking games with this, if I run into a noble at a pub I’m gonna make bank

I like that Staff Of Ogeb, it’s not flashy, but it helps flesh out the world around

Dark vision glasses: makes wearer persieve light areas as dim light and dim light as darkness.

A few in that list could be useful distractions or allow a BBEG to finish his monologue without being interrupted which could involve verbal components for a spell. The Dress of Uncertainty could also be a good distraction as you could walk up to a group of guards wearing it to see if you could spark an argument between them. As each guard would believe themselves correct, and as we all know winning an argument is pretty much all that matters.

Boots of Haste: as an action you may click your heels together and gain one action Potion of 3 AM Water: Drinking this potion provides the same satisfaction as drinking cold water at 3 AM. Rod of Unfixing: A crowbar made to seem fancy via illusion magic. Dagger of Gravity: This dagger magically increases gravity in a tiny area around itself, giving it the Heavy property instead of Light and Finesse. Concentrate Potion of Dehydration: When added to water, this powder becomes a potion of Dehydration, which then dehydrates itself back into Concentrate Potion of Dehydration. It is insoluble in oil. Amulet of Awareness: Whenever someone looks at you, it glows brightly to let you know that you may have been spotted. Ring of Finger Replacement: if the wearer is missing a finger, they can put it on the missing finger to create a magical replacement made from the same material as the ring. Otherwise it has no effect. Top Hat, Walking Stick, and Cloak of Dapperness: They make you feel fancier.

Not going to lie, my brain made it a point to find uses for some of these items... my personal favorite was the spider gloves. Give those to an enemy/opponent/mark which will create a fairly powerful distraction, one way or another. That, or they will just bite the guys hands to smithereens