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Do Filipinos owe their families everything? | Breaking The Tabo | One Down 

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A Filipino’s love language is sacrificing their personal goals for the sake of their family’s well-being. While other people can just tell their family they love them or give them gifts, Filipinos are taught that love looks like never talking back to your lolo, especially when he says something you disagree with. So, are we selfish for complaining, especially when many of us grow up in situations better than our parents or grandparents did? Is our duty as a Filipino, to our families over ourselves? And what happens when we do choose ourselves over what our families want? In this episode, we explore this all, and we'd LOVE to know what you think about the implied debt to our families. #FilipinoCulture #UtangNaLoob #Indebtedness #BreakingTheTabo
This is Breaking The Tabo, where we talk real sh*t.
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Thank you to our team for bringing this project to life:
Created by: Leo Albea
Host: Sapphire Sandalo
Director: Elle Lavin
Director of Photography: Emil Velasco
Producer: Sarah Albea
Associate Producer: Eugene Luna
Written by Bea Avancena, Elle Lavin
Editor: Amyra Soriano
VFX Editor: Emil Velasco
Design Director: Jason Arceo
Graphic Designer: Angela Batoon
Stylist: Jessica Ramos
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Special thanks to RJ Ganden (@RandomRidge)
One Down is committed to creating a sustainable platform for original and groundbreaking content that showcases our culture, contextualizes Filipino American narratives, and prompts dialogue surrounding the diverse experiences, identities, and talents that are often overlooked, suppressed, or erased; engaging with and building connections between community members both online and in the Greater Los Angeles area; working with established professionals to create avenues for the next generation of Filipino movers to advance in careers across the entertainment industry.

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27 ноя 2021

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Комментарии : 238   
@silverwindspirit
@silverwindspirit Год назад
As a filipino myself, the one thing I hate about my own culture is how toxic it is. For example: 1: gossip the f*ck out of everything 2: always late 3: colonial mentality 4: crab mentality 5: inconsiderate and thoughtless of others 6: pinoy pride 7: ignorant of rules/laws 8: onion skinned (hypersensitive/over emotional) 9: short tempered and impatient 10: hypocrite 11: double standard 12: constant shaming and guilt tripping 13: talks too loud and too much 14: mental illness is never taken seriously 15: religious fanaticism 16: racism 17: indecisive and scatter brained 18: poor financial planning and 19: irresponsible when it comes to money 20: victim blaming on top of suffering from victim mentality 21: low emotional intelligence 22: abuse tolerant society 23: corrupt 24: hypersexual without any thought for consequences after I've heard other people say "but this happens in other cultures". Here's my problem with that statement: just because it happens in other cultures doesn't make it excusable for us filipinos
@goldengunner7618
@goldengunner7618 Год назад
Preach...
@humancaos
@humancaos Год назад
jup not filipino but my GF is and been there 4 times and have seen a few of the once you mentioned
@ebakindeji5941
@ebakindeji5941 Год назад
That's not just philipinos' culture. Trust me.
@cinta3805
@cinta3805 Год назад
It's part of every culture, you're probably doing those things you mentioned too. Just live in the mountains alone man so you dont have to complain about it. Geez 😒
@Venus-dg6vi
@Venus-dg6vi Год назад
​@@cinta3805That's typical how traditional Filipinos justify their primitive mindset. Meanwhile the Philippines is moving backward, and Filipinos need to rely on other civilizations.
@Endwankery
@Endwankery 5 месяцев назад
I've been living mostly in the Philippines since mid-November and I think this "utang na loob" is THE no.1 reason for the poverty of the Philippines. In the west our philosophy was generally one of trying to make your kids into good people and trying to make their lives good. Essentially, parents work for the sake of their kids. The ancient Greeks said "Society grows great when old men plant trees in the shade of which they know they’ll never sit" In the Philippines, this is almost exactly the other way around. Kids serve their parents and have a more co-dependent relationship. The Philippines consistently sacrifices the future (it's children) for the present (the parents) and this has resulted in each generation of Filipinos living in worse poverty than the last. The Philippines will never get better unless a generation of its youth finally says "enough, I will not do to my kids what was done to me"
@bert671
@bert671 2 месяца назад
If you don’t like being Filipino just ignore your family and move on with your life. Your family and their values will never change but if someone else changes you and you’re happy with that then just go with it drop everything about you being Filipino and move on that’s it. You don’t have to keep complaining. Some people don’t even want to step into Philippines. Ever that’s fine drop your old Pham style and get with your new modern family or forget about Filipino. Just a reminder, you’re still a brown, but with an American accent, whoa big deal
@TinaWestborn-rq9qy
@TinaWestborn-rq9qy 2 месяца назад
It's such a backward culture. We have many in New Zealand. They don't just look, and sound awkward. They act awkward too. Phil adults go to McDonald's with their parents on Saturday night lol. I bet they ask for toys.
@stellamariefanboy.6768
@stellamariefanboy.6768 Месяц назад
I feel like it depends on their level of exposure. I do not think I would have had the opinions that I do now, If I grew up in the Philippines. I think one of the reasons why the mindset hasn’t evolved and grown is because of how enclosed the culture is, and how hard it is to actually leave the poverty for a better life.
@gideonbentula9418
@gideonbentula9418 Месяц назад
As a filipino i agree on what you've said at to some extent.
@EG-O
@EG-O 19 дней назад
i agree i have this problem with my filipina, and she would waste her entire life sending money to her families while not developing herself. She has put her life on hold for so long because she is so focused on taking care of old adults who wasted their entire life not building financially, education wise, or even investment. She put her life on hold so much that she didn't even goto college. This will cause the cycle to continue over and over again. Because time isn't waiting on her, she will continue to take care of them till she's old and didn't get any investment done, didn't get any education etc. Then her kids would now have to take that responsibility, then the cycle would start over again and now her kids gotta take care of her. I really don't get it, focus on yourself first and after you build your life, focus on others after.
@knucklehoagies
@knucklehoagies 11 месяцев назад
You don’t owe your family a damn thing. Love should never be conditional. I don’t follow the “utang na loob” culture. I think it’s ridiculous and toxic. I’m there for my family because I choose to. Not because I am pressured to. And if I choose to stop giving, they have no right to get upset with me
@sofiaburke199715
@sofiaburke199715 Год назад
Yeah, utang na loob. So basically doing something for the kids when they're younger (making them focus heavily on their studies), in order to benefit in the future with the money they earn and using them as your retirement fund.
@StockyDude
@StockyDude Год назад
Traditionally, that is how the elderly were taken care of. Nobody wanted to end up like those miserable old folks in America living in nursing homes.
@rhobx
@rhobx Год назад
You mean instead of leaving our parents to rot in the gutter and die alone in their old age?
@johnphiliplacerna8720
@johnphiliplacerna8720 Год назад
@@rhobx Well, they’re adults as well, and they should have thought about retirement right? The sad part is, this is not well thought in schools and many Filipinos are financially uneducated.
@zotorokun2296
@zotorokun2296 Год назад
​@@johnphiliplacerna8720 That's the reality of our country
@philmole1209
@philmole1209 Год назад
The difference between me and my Filipino father in law is that I’ve spent my life planning to make sure my kids are ok after I’m gone, while my father in law has spent his life planning to be taken care of himself- most by his daughter (my wife) rather than his sons. That’s why i will always have contempt for him.
@camelcaramel7352
@camelcaramel7352 2 года назад
Me and my mother had a conversation much like this. When i told her i wanted to work so l can give her a better life, and mentioning the "kasi utang na loob". My mom was vexed. Shouting out loud "NOOOOOOOO. MALI KA DIYAN. BASTA'T MABUTI KANG ANAK GUSTO MONG TUTULUNGAN ANG MGA MAGULANG MO!!! HINDI YON UTANG NA LOOB." She had corrected me. "Anong ginawa ko para isipin mo yan. Hindi naman ako ganung tipo ng magulang." Eng trans: Noooo! As long as you're a good child, you'd naturally want to help your parents!
@theiammike123
@theiammike123 Год назад
If you're reading this, God bless your mom. 🙏❤️
@silverwindspirit
@silverwindspirit Год назад
What a manipulative thing to say to a child
@jmz2154
@jmz2154 Год назад
Manipulative parents
@theiammike123
@theiammike123 Год назад
@@silverwindspirit She probably meant it in a sense that one would wanna do it out of the goodness in his/her heart, not out of obligation. So it's like "You can help us if you want. We're not forcing you to. Just be a good person. " Also, "Anong ginawa ko para isipin mo yan. Hindi naman ako ganung tipo ng magulang." in English is like "I didn't raise you to think of that. I'm not that type of parent."
@lstr0736
@lstr0736 Год назад
Im a teen they always talk about my future so i can give them a better life :/
@rb3206
@rb3206 Год назад
Everytime we argue about my individual plan and ofcourse money, my mom would say on my face and even brag to our neighborhood "kung hindi dahil saken , hindi makakarating si _______ sa ibang bansa" it's her way of saying that I don't have any right to complain nor get tired because of this thing called "utang na loob" . I left ph when I was only 24 y/o and now Im turning 31 and GOD KNOWS, I did my best and keep doing my best just to please them.
@pungolay6586
@pungolay6586 10 месяцев назад
If I were you, I wouldn't worry about your family. You have the money and resources to be a successful person. You can cut contact with them and disappear from social media. You will go further when you don't have this toxic mindset
@slo369
@slo369 7 месяцев назад
@@pungolay6586 nah I wouldn’t go as far as cutting them off. Id never do that to a family member. Personally I put my foot down and made it clear to my uncles who think they can just ask me for money. They were obviously Burt hurt but eventually they understand and we’re still in good hands. The only difference now is they know I have set boundaries and they don’t ask me anymore
@dogeprissy9850
@dogeprissy9850 29 дней назад
The entitlement is crazy. I though filipino culture was about respect and care for your younger children. Not transactional or conditional.
@kalasatwater2224
@kalasatwater2224 Год назад
That's why I changed my mind about dating Filipinas, you always have to take care of their whole family, no thanks lol
@philmole1209
@philmole1209 Год назад
Good decision. I wish I’d reconsidered when I had the chance. Now I have my father-in-law, a hideous 95-year old reptile, sponging off me, as he has for most of the last 20 years.
@pungolay6586
@pungolay6586 10 месяцев назад
I'm Filipino and don't like to date Filipinos anymore. I've had 4 in the past and they were toxic as well as their family members. Never again
@slo369
@slo369 7 месяцев назад
That’s good bro. Luckily my ENTIRE family is well off so my American step dad didn’t have to spend a dime on any family member🤣
@kalasatwater2224
@kalasatwater2224 7 месяцев назад
@@slo369 I wish there were more like you 😅
@jmz2154
@jmz2154 7 месяцев назад
I'm filipino and i agree!
@alexanderchua
@alexanderchua Год назад
Im 38 years old. I live in London. I work 2 jobs as a nurse and a camera operator. I have a girlfriend who is quite independent and we have 2 cats. I was raised by my grandparents because my mother and father abandoned me when I was 6 years old. I was fed, educated and raised by them. It was a very strict household. I did not hang out much with my peers and I had to focus on studies more. I was punished for little mistakes that I do too. With that, I developed a personality that is distant and keeping friends became the least of my priorities and I attribute that to my upbringing. I was made to kneel on salt, peas, beans. I was beaten with a belt, slippers, stick for little mistakes that I did. I was taught not to ask money and whenever I ask money, it needs to be extremely justified. My grandparents were middle class. They had jobs and they had money. I wasn’t that kind of kid where I wanted the latests and trendiest. I was taught to be content with what is given and asking money from anyone is shameful.
@alexanderchua
@alexanderchua Год назад
I left the Philippines by taking out a loan from my aunt. She was god send because she gave me the chance to leave by lending me money to love abroad. I made sure to pay her back as fast as I can with interest because I want to start saving for my future. However, I am still being guilt tripped by my grandmother. She believes that its my duty to send her money every month to which I never did. I believe that sure, they raised me, fed me and educated but it dis come with a price. I sacrificed my hobbies, I developed a distant behaviour towards others and in general, I just function on my own which is lonely. That is the payment for what they gave me so I see that as a fair trade.
@alexanderchua
@alexanderchua Год назад
My grandmother has a big pension and she gets monthly stipend from my aunt and my sister and somehow that is still not enough because she expects me to send her money. At one point, I told her that I will not send the money because I am saving for my future that in emergencies, I can pull money from my hard earned pockets. She ranted that I should have plenty already and I should share. I don’t have much, I have debts and I am already running 2 jobs and I barely rest. She doesn’t understand that.
@alexanderchua
@alexanderchua Год назад
I am angry because of that. I feel like Im a cash cow and I am not allowed to enjoy my life until im 60. Thats the very reason why I rarely go back to the Philippines. Filipinos call me selfish but I have a life and I have learned from a very young age that I must survive and prioritise myself because at the end of the day, no one will take care of me but myself. Bottom line is that “utqng na loob” is a toxic Filipino trait that needs to stop.
@jesuisje3335
@jesuisje3335 Год назад
I feel you. Stay firm with your boundaries because none of them will help if you have gone homeless. Laban lang!
@zenithcodmtv
@zenithcodmtv Год назад
This is just a sad phenomenon. I can relate to this a lot, I earn like 19k a month but i give majority to them (to pay for my brothers tuition, pay off bills, ect) then they ask me on what i have achieved already like wtf, gosh i hate this kind of culture 😓
@valarmorghulis8139
@valarmorghulis8139 Год назад
We need to move out from our parents home and be more independent! I was force to be more independent because I had to study college in public Uni in Manila but now I am living like I am so poor because I am paying for my bros allowance in college and mom's groceries, bills and farm animals feeds but we had an agreement since I help fund the construction of our provincial house then this June 26 2023 my bro will graduate in college I will stop providing and focus with savings to build my own business then quit my toxic call center job.
@knucklehoagies
@knucklehoagies 11 месяцев назад
You hate that kind of culture yet you continue to give money…. You’re just as bad because you continue to do it even though you know it’s toxic. You make your own choices.
@kalebgonzales4009
@kalebgonzales4009 8 месяцев назад
@@valarmorghulis8139how are you only earning 19k? I know they pay more than that. Unless you went to a smaller CC? I don’t know the insides, but I had skater friends working in that business before I left college.
@jillywonker
@jillywonker 6 месяцев назад
Correct and the higher you earn, the more you are obliged to provide.
@cristiano7ronaldoTHEGOAT
@cristiano7ronaldoTHEGOAT 5 месяцев назад
​@@valarmorghulis8139 Di mo magagawa yan lalo kung mahirap ang pamilya mo. Nakatali ka talaga sa kanila kasi ikaw lang ang inaasahan.
@iheartlana
@iheartlana 2 года назад
Love how these videos are taking a deeper look and opening up the conversation in the culture. 🙏🏾
@rhobx
@rhobx Год назад
Not really
@royalbalasuela5886
@royalbalasuela5886 Год назад
As a filipino we dont have utang na loob in our family, we just have the word responsibility.. bcos utang na loob is a toxic meaning...
@Mur-zoUxw
@Mur-zoUxw 11 месяцев назад
Me personally (and deep down), I do not like family gatherings. It feels like I'm obligated or forced to befriend some strangers who share my blood. Also, when I become talkative, I am labeled as annoying. But when I am quiet, I am forced to speak. In those gatherings, they may ask you questions like "do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?", "what is your course?", "can you tell me more about your life?", etc. But I just want to keep my life private from them. I do not want to reveal my personal life with them. I also do not like idle chit-chat or small talk (but in family gatherings, there is a lot of idle chit-chat).
@VOLightPortal
@VOLightPortal 10 месяцев назад
Yeah, best not to. They will use that information later to make gossip about you, lie about you, use that information against you, weaponizing any way they can, to their advantage. Don't let them know who you are, where you work, where you live. Be as elusive as humanly possible. If you tell them what you know and what you have, they will try and take it from you. They will turn up at your door and try to worm into your life, allowing even more snakes to penetrate. Keep the door shut tight and stay far far away from them!
@monkishgremlin8263
@monkishgremlin8263 3 месяца назад
They asked me if I have a boyfriend when I was only 10
@stellamariefanboy.6768
@stellamariefanboy.6768 Месяц назад
I remember when I was bleeding and my auntie saw, and so they decide to tell everyone about it. And i was so pissed. Everyone kept telling me “you are a big girl now” why are you telling everyone about my period and sharing it around? That is strange… it’s like we live in a bubble not knowing how the outside world is.
@Lordtariq4233
@Lordtariq4233 Год назад
There is one Filipino toxic trait i truly despised the most is helping out by sending money halfway across the globe to all your distant relatives even though you have never met them before. It is not my fault that they have a dozen kids and didn't do anything to better themselves. So basically, cos I'm from Canada, they automatically think I'm rich and their go to finance.
@ailleenvargas23
@ailleenvargas23 11 месяцев назад
Same thing here! I'm mexican american and it's common for Mexican immigrants in the usa to send they money to they distant realatives in mx cuz they distant relatives in mexico think Americans are rich! And in mx its common for people to have a dozen kids (especially the older generation)
@knucklehoagies
@knucklehoagies 11 месяцев назад
To be fair though, if you still choose to give money to them, it’s your own fault for doing so….. know when to say no and don’t feel any shame in doing so. If they’re ignorant that’s their problem not yours
@Lordtariq4233
@Lordtariq4233 11 месяцев назад
@@knucklehoagies I saw their conditions when I went back to Philippines and felt bad. I gave them money to start their supposedly business, none of them improved their lifestyle. They just gambled my money. Even if only 1 relative screwed up, I stopped sending help and refuse to believe their stories.
@Lordtariq4233
@Lordtariq4233 11 месяцев назад
@@ailleenvargas23 I agree, kids are their retirement pension. Now it causes population overload, not enough resources to feed everyone. That creates malnutrition to children. Cycle continues. Govt can only do so much, yet these people have no concept of family planning. Its easy and fun what happens in their bedroom but it’s so hard to raise even a single child yet alone having. Dozens. I no longer have any sympathies for them.
@knucklehoagies
@knucklehoagies 11 месяцев назад
@@Lordtariq4233 Thats good. Good for you. I have very similar experiences too. Relatives who would out of the blue try to ask me for money or some sort of free handout. Being super sweet, friendly, acting as if we're close.... then I'll tell them no and I will never hear from them ever again.... it really exposes who they truly care about.
@brentvillanueva15
@brentvillanueva15 2 года назад
NOPE. Zero obligation. This is why the (poor bracket population) cycle of poverty in the Philippines is just that, a cycle for millions of families. And then parents would have too many children they can't afford thinking that when they (kids) grow up, the parents would throw the U.N.Loob card down in hopes their children are their pension plan... But little do the parents know, it takes MONEY to raise all their children to make a decent living.... So their grown children make close to nothing but minimum wage.... What a joke. It's really stupid here really, and I'm glad I don't give money to family who can't help themselves. I have a goal and a standard of living I want to acheive. And if some Juan Tamad or poor parents who made wrong ulit ulit decisions in life, then too bad... Especially family members who Anak pa more with wlang Pera. Pray to sky daddy for money/blessings, don't ask me..... It wasn't blessings and prayers that got me here. It was making sacrifices removing myself from the environment you (parents) put me in... Discipline,some tough decisions, grit and hardwork. Why support a poor family when their poor kids have crap cell phones and tiktok all day. BTW rich and middle upper class don't expect their children to owe them anything... Parents expect them to improve and do better for the next generation.
@errornonamefound206
@errornonamefound206 2 года назад
Took the words right out of my mouth
@elleee_ramos
@elleee_ramos Год назад
🙌🙌🙌
@rhobx
@rhobx Год назад
If you happen to have grown up in the slums of Manila, you'd probably do the same thing.
@brentvillanueva15
@brentvillanueva15 Год назад
@@rhobx Your statement lacks critical thinking. Im not surprised. My great grandparents were poor... And 3 generations later we are doing just fine. What people in the poor slums in Manila don't know is THEY ARE A PART OF THE PROCESS. People in slums can dig themselves out of poverty slowly by giving the NEXT generation a better chance and then their next generation taking it further improving the family tree. And they can achieve this by discipline, some hard work, right choices, sacrifices and GRIT.
@SignificantPressure100
@SignificantPressure100 Год назад
​@@brentvillanueva15You did the pull yourself up by the bootstrap argument when talking about people in poor and underprivileged circumstances. That's brain dead. And it's funny how you act self righteous throughout your comments. Not everyone in life especially when you're poor, will become successful just by being disciplined and hardworking. You have what people call "survivorship bias" Survivorship bias or survival bias is the logical error of concentrating on entities that passed a selection process while overlooking those that did not. It's hard to swallow but most people who become successful despite underprivileged circumstances are simply luck based.
@Animeal_Tv
@Animeal_Tv 2 года назад
Thank you One Down... For explaining this indepth.
@valcrist7428
@valcrist7428 11 месяцев назад
What's worst is that you see these struggling families still have BABIES.. Having their children inherit their sufferings. If life is too hard already, why bring new POOR SOUL into suffering?
@VOLightPortal
@VOLightPortal 10 месяцев назад
Dignity and empathy are not even real concepts in Filipino culture. They are non-existent. Children are seen as not having a soul. They are just objects or things - like wind-up toys - machines that you can hit, and they bring in money to you.
@slo369
@slo369 7 месяцев назад
Bruh I saw a lady on the street begging for money with 5 children ranging from newborn to 5 years. So 1 after another every year?! I was like how tf did you think this was gonna turn out?!
@opr1r
@opr1r 9 месяцев назад
I have a question. I have couple of friends who date or dated Filipinos and every single one of my friends experienced this. They bring in their family to my friend's house and wants to live him. Either they want to live together or want their sibling members to live with him. I think this is really weird. It's like they want him to take care of them.
@philmole1209
@philmole1209 8 месяцев назад
I'm married to a Filipina and have experienced this for over 20 years. I STILL have my father in law living with me. He's 95 and is feeble and helpless, but he was already pretty feeble 20 years ago, because he stopped working 40 years ago and saw no reason to stay healthy and active since he was just going to make people take care of him, anyway. In general, there is no more parasitic, hideous or shameless creature in the world than an elderly Filipino.
@opr1r
@opr1r 8 месяцев назад
@@philmole1209 I feel you. It's like they have no moral conduct. Don't they feel bad leeching off people? Shameless...
@EG-O
@EG-O 19 дней назад
i have this problem with my filipina, and she would waste her entire life sending money to her families while not developing herself. She has put her life on hold for so long because she is so focused on taking care of old adults who wasted their entire life not building financially, education wise, or even investment. She put her life on hold so much that she didn't even goto college. This will cause the cycle to continue over and over again. Because time isn't waiting on her, she will continue to take care of them till she's old and didn't get any investment done, didn't get any education etc. Then her kids would now have to take that responsibility. I really don't get it, focus on yourself first and after you build your life, focus on others after.
@Gee-ys8vw
@Gee-ys8vw 7 месяцев назад
I have warned my relatives not to ever contact my children. Both are successful Engineers and a couple of my relatives attempted to ask for money. I was so angry I can’t believe they had the audacity to do that. That toxic culture ends w my boys: I will never let my kids practice that ever.
@stellamariefanboy.6768
@stellamariefanboy.6768 Месяц назад
Yes. Thank you. As a filipina. My family sends my relatives money and let me tell you, its a thunder storm. My relatives would lie to your face, saying they haven’t received money even when they did. I even had one break down, saying it was a mental issue that they were continuing to swindle us out of our money. Oh poor you, using our money to buy jewelry, staying at expensive places because of a mental issue.
@peterungson809
@peterungson809 2 года назад
Bahala na actually comes from Bathala na - meaning leave it to God. Before the Spanish turned most of us into Catholics. Native Filipinos had Bathala as their God. So in tough situations one would say Bathala na.
@slo369
@slo369 7 месяцев назад
Whaaaat. I’ll have to go into that rabbit hole. The austronesians were amazing
@cza1898
@cza1898 Месяц назад
To make it simple, "Utang na loob" is basically a lifetime debt.
@alrqmcr
@alrqmcr Год назад
Because old school parents are leeches to their kids’ futures (or whatever is left of it).
@undertheradar001
@undertheradar001 8 месяцев назад
As a bible believer, the filipino value seems not biblical. In 2nd Corinthians 12:14 the apostle writes that “… children ought not to lay up for their parents, but parents for their children.” The bible says that parents should save for their children, not the other way round. The family has an obligation to provide for their child so there should be no obligation to provide at the expense family abroad. If they claim to follow God, why are they promoting such ungodly values? Remember, Filipinos mostly go to church.
@Foxercide
@Foxercide 6 месяцев назад
They can come up with some of the most wildest tangent beliefs. Going to church obviously doesn't make a person a Christian, it just makes them more accountable if they aren't saved. Or they're simply lured in the trap of a false prophet or false preacher.
@jaysboredman
@jaysboredman 4 месяца назад
Would be a great podcast for you to have a questionnaire with a filippino therapist and historian from questions accumulated from twitter and yt.
@7rustlingLeaves
@7rustlingLeaves 11 месяцев назад
That moment when you wanna buy something for yourself but you always hold back coz it makes you feel like you're being selfish.
@connectyours
@connectyours 8 месяцев назад
This whole "utang na loob" thing gets worse when you're queer and/or mentally disabled because your family will keep violating your boundaries and personhood and your acquaintances outside your family will stigmatize the thought of you cutting your family off.
@kajuta240
@kajuta240 11 месяцев назад
Translation: "I had you without your consent so you could be my early retirement in 18 years' You don't get a vote, just emotional blackmail to support not just parents, but cousins, siblings and everyone else.
@craigsilverman7290
@craigsilverman7290 8 месяцев назад
It's a parents job to take care of kids until they finish highschool... its not a child's job to pay it forward.... my mother is first generation American and my grandparents came here with nothing.... and became stable.... they never wanted there kids to give up there wants and needs.... paying it forward is a poor person's mentality.... thats why provinces have internet instability from the 1940s
@stellamariefanboy.6768
@stellamariefanboy.6768 Месяц назад
Yeah.. just parenting as a whole. It’s not about living the life you couldn’t have through your child. Its about making sure you child has the OPPORTUNITY to pursue THEIR passion. A choice not a-lot of us had, living in poverty. Just having a choice in what we get to do is powerful. It should not become an expectation.
@juliomandiaga9612
@juliomandiaga9612 7 месяцев назад
We all got into this world without our consent.
@nijinokanata111
@nijinokanata111 2 года назад
Definitely! Well done on the topic
@ellesdailyvlogs1333
@ellesdailyvlogs1333 Год назад
Lol i always help my family financially,not out of utang na loob ,but because i truly love them ,and im thankful for my parents na kahit gaano.... ako ka tigas ng ulo dati, na stress sila ng bongga sakin ay minahal parin nila ako at pinag aral.. para saan ba ang pamilya? They are here para magjng kasangga natin sa lahat ng panahon, Im thankful for my mother dahil hindi nya inaasa lahat sa anak nya, she has her own ways to earn money,but sometimes na shoshort talaga which is di natin maiwasan kasi mahal talaga mga bilihin ngayun,and we still have 4 student's, so i always help my sibs,,,
@brentvillanueva15
@brentvillanueva15 11 месяцев назад
No one will tell you what to do with your money. But if giving hinders you from achieving uour goals, your future and your financial stability, that's on you. It's your choice and that's okay... Enabling lazy people is never okay
@slo369
@slo369 7 месяцев назад
I agree with you. The only thing is boundaries are not part of our culture and instead of helping family members get on their feet. They never get on their feet and just freeload which is not right
@UNSTABLE111
@UNSTABLE111 3 месяца назад
@@brentvillanueva15 that is why theres boundaries set..bruh, if youu have the money..give a helping hand to those that deserve it...shits hard out in the philippines...I dont care how care free it may seem, I have seen workers light up when I give a 300 pesos tip
@quinndelcarmen1384
@quinndelcarmen1384 7 дней назад
the problem is really that there are 5 of you lol there should be a law there for mandatory family planning or something
@jamelakcpalomo4966
@jamelakcpalomo4966 2 года назад
Thank you One Down. Kudos! Please keep producing quality content, these are my daily dose of internet HAHHAH.
@lorenzomabalos9851
@lorenzomabalos9851 Год назад
There is nothing to be proud of being Filipino.
@ailleenvargas23
@ailleenvargas23 11 месяцев назад
Why?!
@knucklehoagies
@knucklehoagies 11 месяцев назад
@@ailleenvargas23because our culture is extremely toxic. Filipinos refuse to acknowledge this and we’re not known for taking criticism well. One of the main reasons why we remain a 3rd world nation.
@qawsed19sl
@qawsed19sl 11 месяцев назад
You guys are good singers and are nice but that's it 😢
@lorenzomabalos9851
@lorenzomabalos9851 11 месяцев назад
Basically everything wrong with Filipino society is just the reason why there is nothing to be proud of. From toxic family culture, poor work ethic, setting low standards for themselves (only aiming for menial jobs), uneducated people making stupid decisions believing always in religion and superstition.
@VOLightPortal
@VOLightPortal 10 месяцев назад
The entire culture in its current form needs to be flushed away and so it can start over. It might take another 300-600 years though to see any real progress, if ever.
@craigsilverman7290
@craigsilverman7290 8 месяцев назад
No filipino should help parents if they never raised you as a child... the child should not sacrifice there goals for their parents until they retire or they need physical help
@jay.lasvegas
@jay.lasvegas Год назад
When it comes to this, how do you deal with verbally abusive family in these scenarios especially as a caregiver role to the parents?
@Shortysding
@Shortysding 10 месяцев назад
The issue with Filipino gamer H2WO and his mom highlighted the toxicity of this trait. I want to end it with me even if it means that I'll be childless as I have experienced it myself from my parents.
@expatchat1978
@expatchat1978 9 дней назад
If thats true, then why they dont appreciate the foreigners for helping them? Instead, they take advantage of foreigners. Its the parents' responsibility to take care of their kids, so they dont owe their parents. If she need to take care of her family, then let them stay with the family. My parents took care of me, and they say i don't owe them, so why do i owe her family? Im not doing it
@kalebgonzales4009
@kalebgonzales4009 8 месяцев назад
For me, I will repay my parents and go abroad. I don’t wish to live anymore with such a mentality, it’s to painful na.
@philmole1209
@philmole1209 11 месяцев назад
Great video. But I'm American, and over here we translate "utang na loob" as "the philosophy and ethics of a bum."
@aringsinukuan769
@aringsinukuan769 6 месяцев назад
Never heard that b4
@philmole1209
@philmole1209 5 месяцев назад
I’d never imagined anyone could possibly be so lazy, selfish and entitled until I met my Filipino in laws. My 95 year old father in law stopped working 40 years ago because he could sponge off family, first his wife and then his daughter, my wife. I’ve been married 20 years and he’s lived with me for 17 of them and has no gratitude or self awareness of the misery he causes. He’s a bum. A sickening, hideous parasite. And utang na loob is a big part of what made him that way.
@polized123
@polized123 6 дней назад
Carlo yulo's mom is an example
@ophanimangel3143
@ophanimangel3143 10 месяцев назад
Well since our country doesn’t have well funded healthcare, subsidies for education, for people who are in difficult circumstances, etc. so we are stuck in backward family dynamics to survive. For as long as government neglects society from these basic needs then this toxic social mentality will persist through the next generation.
@markethansarte2797
@markethansarte2797 2 года назад
Relatable content with my Mother retired already and 4 of my siblings are already abroad
@qwyxiiiqwyxiii6071
@qwyxiiiqwyxiii6071 Год назад
"bagong bayani" my ass.. these people HAD to leave because they had nothing to expect here.
@ruthsoriano2411
@ruthsoriano2411 9 месяцев назад
It's Parents responsibility to raise, provide their child. It was choice they made even before the child was born. No you don't owe anything from your parent. If you made it in life and wants to share your blessings and thank your parent for all they've done to you, great, but this is not your obligation.
@jesussavesjesusgodlove7042
@jesussavesjesusgodlove7042 5 месяцев назад
🛐🙏❤facts💓❤❤💕❤❤❤💖💞❤♥️❤💗❤💕❤💖😭Heavenly Father JesusGod, I know that I am a sinner. I know that I deserve the consequences of my sin. However, I am trusting in Jesus Christ as my Savior. I believe that His death and resurrection provided for my forgiveness. I trust in Jesus and Jesus alone as my personal Lord and Savior. Thank you Lord, for saving me and forgiving me! In Jesus Mighty God's holy name, Amen!" 💗❤❤💞This Gospel message if you continue to believe this message, you will be saved: For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried , that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. Then he appeared to more than five hundred brothers at one time,
@choko9491
@choko9491 2 года назад
Wait isn’t that sapphire from snarled?
@onedownmedia
@onedownmedia 2 года назад
Yes! The one and the only :)
@VENEMPASTOR
@VENEMPASTOR 6 месяцев назад
Just leave foreigners out of it. We don't have to financially support anyone outside of our partners. This is simply manipulatively toxic.
@b1gb0zz21
@b1gb0zz21 Месяц назад
i like this video
@PHM4614
@PHM4614 20 дней назад
I’m not Filipino I’m hispanic American 🇺🇸 but my kids are half felipino and my wife is Filipino. When ever I go to Filipino parties yes there nice some but i noticed the guys don’t like that I married a Filipina. Sometimes they hang out and stuff and won’t invite me . Mlike I’m not mad I understand we all live in USA the Filipinos I know there my wife’s friends. Anyway I don’t think they like hanging out with other people from there race but I don’t care if have my own friends I know why they hang with each other I think it makes they feel like there In Philippines 🇵🇭 when there all together I get it. Plus there prideful. I love Philippines we always vacation there the people from Philippines that live there are so humble there was some people that were mean like anywhere but i noticed the people in Philippines that live there are so nice and humble.
@badibuddy9587
@badibuddy9587 4 месяца назад
I hate this culture with passion. I’ve been a breadwinner for years now
@GAL999
@GAL999 Год назад
that is self serving about “sacrifice” .. if baby in the womb has a choice they prefer richer parents so it means there is no sacrifice its just choice for parents to do it meaning it will stop the generational poverty..
@BK-2008
@BK-2008 Месяц назад
And this is what breeds toxic co-dependency and everything that goes along with that. SMH.
@justin24MVP
@justin24MVP 7 месяцев назад
My children are not born so they can take of me and my wife. They are born so they can live their lives to the fullest. If they take care of us good. If not then good as well. In not gonna hold them accountable for living their life. Im currently dealing this issue with my dad right now who is dealing with his health issues due to his previous heavy drinking sessions to which i have to fcking part of yet im the one dealing with it now…
@alexisyuri9990
@alexisyuri9990 2 года назад
I really love your accent
@artemioeguia4602
@artemioeguia4602 Год назад
Kung bubusisiin natin ang culture ng Filipino ang ganda. Dahil ang mga Filipino susuportahan talaga niya ang pamilya niya hanggang kaya niya. ANG "UTANG NA LOOB" DEPENDE NA SA PAGPAPALIWANAG MO SA PAMILYA MO. MINSAN KASI IBA IBA VERSION ANG PAGPAPALINAWANAG SA MGA ANAK. ANG MGA FILIPINO HINDI MAWAWALA ANG TIWALA SA KAY JESUS CHRIST ALWAYS KASAMA ANG DIYOS UPANG MAGABAYAN SA MAGANDA PATUTUNGUHAN NG BUHAY.
@moonage_
@moonage_ Год назад
ANONG PINAGSASASABE MO
@pungolay6586
@pungolay6586 10 месяцев назад
😂😂😂😂😂😂
@TommyVercetti-xp4xy
@TommyVercetti-xp4xy 9 месяцев назад
Wag mo kami idami tanginamo
@YLsanimations
@YLsanimations 4 месяца назад
Kaya nga halos walang progress ang PH eh, dahil dyan sa mga excuses at Katolismo
@biglooneytic
@biglooneytic 2 года назад
never talking back to your lowlow.
@ikonic4699
@ikonic4699 Год назад
No. If you want to help, help because you care not because you expect something in return. Why can't everyone pull their own weight and be responsible? Don't have kids if you can't support them on your own. My cousin has cancer and working like a horse again to support her siblings and parents.
@LeonahMagalona
@LeonahMagalona 2 года назад
Sapphire 😍 galing mo teh
@alex-rh7tf
@alex-rh7tf Год назад
omg!!! sapphire!!! i really missed listening to you :(((!!!!
@trishaderla6866
@trishaderla6866 2 года назад
I agree!
@atepatty6216
@atepatty6216 Год назад
You still do not get it.
@MeggyPeggy
@MeggyPeggy 2 года назад
Yes
@velky_reeds
@velky_reeds 2 года назад
sorry, but the way you pronounce utang na loob is lowkey funny 😆
@AnnoyingNeighborPhilippines
@AnnoyingNeighborPhilippines 5 месяцев назад
Kalokohan yan. Stop it. You have obligation to your own son and daugther and your wife.
@audettefollosco8372
@audettefollosco8372 Год назад
why making accents to filipino words 😅 cringy
@valcrist7428
@valcrist7428 11 месяцев назад
Because you can't just switch one word to another accent. It would sound improper. Stupid!
@albertojacobo7161
@albertojacobo7161 6 месяцев назад
Guilt trip !!!!
@rubyvenuz-fw1hd
@rubyvenuz-fw1hd 11 месяцев назад
so depressing
@mysteryhelper4252
@mysteryhelper4252 Год назад
Plantita si sister ^_^
@Jeff-wm3qn
@Jeff-wm3qn 3 месяца назад
Nope
@connectyours
@connectyours 8 месяцев назад
Omg is that sapphire sandalo?
@pinoyshadows
@pinoyshadows 2 года назад
I disagree with this! I’m of Filipino descent and this video does not address anything. Not everyone comes from a loving Filipino family. How dare you tell Filipinos around the world to put up with such disrespect from immediate family and pressure younger generations that they owe parents shit!! This video is such BS!!
@gailwy
@gailwy 2 года назад
I don’t think their point was to tell people to put up with the disrespect. More so to acknowledge that this family dynamic is all about sacrifice (good and bad), and that it puts a lot of pressure on the younger generation and that pressure can be devastating. They also acknowledge that each generation goes through different things that the others will either never have to face or never understand I do agree that this video doesn’t address as much as it could. They essentially talk about the topic to acknowledge its existence and not much else
@meekylikesnoodles
@meekylikesnoodles 2 года назад
Totally misunderstanding the point of the video
@pinoyshadows
@pinoyshadows 2 года назад
@@meekylikesnoodles please stfu. you really don't know me.
@ericksondaiz503
@ericksondaiz503 Год назад
Did u go to school?
@pinoyshadows
@pinoyshadows Год назад
Yes I went to school. Your response has nothing to do with my rebuttal.
@alphaomega6365
@alphaomega6365 2 года назад
I'm sorry to say but this is a misconception of Filipino values even to the extent to associating with Chinese Filial Piety. Utang na loob is one Filipino indigenous concept you cannot just just easily translate. It's not just debt of gratitude. This is not reciprocity. It's innate. It's hardwired given that we are a communal society. I'll give you a family scenario for you to understand it better. When you stopped working for your family and live on your own they won't call you igrato o walang utang na loob. They might call you selfish or not loving your family. However, when terribly disrespected your parent that supported you and say that you don't owe them anything, you are IGRATO! One misconception of utang na loob is when it's associated with Filipinos working as bread winners. They do not do that out of utang na loob. Also, utang na loob is different from pinapautang na loob. This is situation where utang na loob is taken advantage of. Utang na loob is something you cannot find in a western society most especially in this generation. Please study it's historical and anthropological origin before we make comments on them. Do not rely on what you see on social media. Lastly, don't look at it from a western perspective. This is a general statement. Utang na loob is one beautiful Filipino values that we can be proud of.
@datapatch7381
@datapatch7381 2 года назад
It keeps Filipinos poor and easily controlled though...
@tenshichan06
@tenshichan06 Год назад
Totally understandable. And you are correct, there is no direct translation to what "Utang na Loob" really is, especially how it is applied/experienced in real life. "Utang na Loob" in its very essence is a beautiful thing, giving back and being grateful. BUT... the reality is... a lot of Filipino families have a twisted view of this and has become an expectation of reciprocity. Saying no to your family, especially parents, has become taboo. The line between "standing up for yourself" and "ingrato" [being ungrateful] becomes blurred depending on your perspective. My family and I are OFWs, my parents have been working abroad for 2-3 decades but only recently did they start saving up for retirement. I discovered that by accident when I told them I was rethinking my career and they indirectly asked how was I going to provide for my family and if I can manage to support them. A lot of my generation will agree that we will not see our parents in the street and will make sure their basic needs are met. But the expectation of a regular allowance+utilities+medical needs+ etc etc... is a lot when we ourselves can barely think about our own future. I want to be proud of the "Utang na Loob" value... but not in its current form.
@Kuya.Marcito
@Kuya.Marcito Год назад
The thing is. You weren’t asked to be born. Yes support your family if you feel like it and if they don’t expect you to support, but expect you to be able to support youself so you yourself in the future can support your children so on and so on. Now see that’s a more stable way to ensure that the bloodline isn’t gonna run thin
@rhobx
@rhobx Год назад
​@@Kuya.Marcito yeah and if your parents are old and poor, just let them live in the streets and dine with the rats.
@migspeculates
@migspeculates Год назад
Like every value some people will twist it enough to become its own vice. Case to case basis
@belletrocio2260
@belletrocio2260 2 года назад
These people has no idea on how to be a filipino. Don't change filipino culture.
@tenshichan06
@tenshichan06 Год назад
Filipino culture is beautiful especially its focus on family. But you have to understand, like everything else, it is not perfect. I'm not saying we have to allow or ignore being "bastos" [disrespectful], but perhaps having the choice to say "no" should be normalized. If my parents ask me for financial support and I say no/i cannot/i am unable to, why am I automatically labeled as a bad child or selfish? Why is that immediately labeled as being ungrateful?
@polized123
@polized123 6 дней назад
It is a toxic culture.
@sandracommentary8927
@sandracommentary8927 11 месяцев назад
americana ba tong host na to bat may accent ung "bahala na"? nagpapasosyalan ba tayo dito
@valcrist7428
@valcrist7428 11 месяцев назад
Because you can't just switch one word to another accent. It would sound improper. Stupid!
@Shortysding
@Shortysding 10 месяцев назад
typical Filipino. finding the tiniest fault without comprehending the message. Stupid talaga.
@TommyVercetti-xp4xy
@TommyVercetti-xp4xy 9 месяцев назад
Filipina ata Pero born and raised sa America
@dogeprissy9850
@dogeprissy9850 29 дней назад
This attitude is usually from tagalog filipinos. You know, ones up north.
@JenintheUSA
@JenintheUSA 9 месяцев назад
Having to carry the burden is hard.
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