Do THIS Anytime She Tells You To 'Open Up' 

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Your emotions and secrets can and will be used against you in the court of female law

I once told my ex wife that I felt like a loser after getting laid off from my job. Guess what she call me in the next argument we had.... LOSER!

I don't think women understand that men are emotional we just don't express it in the way they'd want us to.

No, she’s subconsciously probing for weakness. Keep it to your guy friends.

If your woman wants you to open up...open up another beer.

So men are expected to have personal responsibility but not women? I know it's human nature but man the double standards are ridiculous sometimes. Women don't want to be your mother but they want you to be their father.

Imagine the Devil asking you for your weakness and only just to attack you with it. Hint hint😅

Why would any man want to be in a relationship with a women where your partner will leave if you act human. The best you can do is be friends with a women that has no ties to your finances. Then if you act human, she can leave with nothing.

When a woman says open up she's referring to your wallet.

All this hard work to please one woman...

I’m in my 60’s and I have been through several female relationships. Women are ONLY around for the “good times” - never the bad. If you get sick - or have difficult financial times, they leave and take as much of your stuff as they can cram into their car. Trust me... I know...

Was in a relationship with a woman with suicidal thoughts. Tried to show an emotional side to her to get closer with her. Ended the relationship a week later. Reason: you got boring

I had been dating this girl for 5 or 6 months and was in a bad place mentally about some insecurities. She asked me what was bothering me one day, so I told her. She had been really nice and supportive of me in every interaction to this point. She just said "That's unattractive." and changed the subject. Our texts got less and less frequent, we hung out one more time after that and it was kind of awkward. Never again will I acknowledge this on that level. That's what my friends are for.

I had anxiety and depression for two months and my girl stood by my side. All she did was listen to me when I felt really down, but I did whatever I could to overcome it and she seems even more attracted to me

Two and a half years in a relationship with my first and only GF I told her that I was depressed. She didn't take me seriously at all and almost laughed at me. After that she never wanted to have sex until I broke up with her. Many years later I was actually diagnosed with depression.

Men shouldn't expect help from women, but women should expect help from men. If a man asks for help, he's being "needy", but if a woman does, she's "reaching out". Such a BS double-standard in society that flies in the face of the notion of "toxic masculinity". It's not "toxic", it's impressed upon us by female undependability.

Women don't mean "to open up emotionally"...they just want men to "validate their love for them..again and again".

Opening up is the friendzone

This is interesting. I remember having a weak moment one time with a woman and she also knew I was upset about my dying father. Years later, when we broke up, she brought up the weak moment and even said something cutting about my father. I remember standing there thinking how mean that was.

She can lean on me but I can't lean on her. She doesn't have to nurture me but I do have to nurture her. She doesn't have to support me but I do have to support her. She doesn't have to be strong for me but I do have to be strong for her. She can be an obligation to me but I can't be an obligation to her. Remind me again why I would ever want to be in this situation at all.

Here's a general rule I follow when it comes to sharing my emotions with a female, whether it's my mom, friend or gf. Only share it if you've already figured a way to deal with the problem by yourself. When a man has a problem it's usually solvable, and we're looking for guidance, some actionable solution, like "hey, do this and this will be over". When we share our problems with a women, they'll usually just sympathize and 1. It doesn't help us that much, and 2. They'd feel responsible for you, and that wouldn't let them feel at ease around you, especially if you have a lot of these moments. Almost all of the females in my life who are close to me are good people, but I found it utter useless to "open up" to any of them. It only frustrates me to do that, but on the other hand, when I share them how I feel along with how I'm gonna deal with it, they feel proud about me, they feel good at the end of that conversation. I also get a lot of "I can depend on you" "I feel safe around you" from my mom, gf and some female friends. I guess that's what women mean by "opening up", they wanna hear your emotional problems and how you deal with them, not just get dumped with your problems. Edit: lol he literally said this in the video, i typed too soon

Women: "Share your emotions .." *Nelson voice:* "Ha,ha"

Women are constantly testing you. You may not even be sure which test you're taking. As long as you never fail they want you .The minute you fail they change channels and are off seeking a new contestant. Sometimes it is a conscious effort but many times it is so ingrained, genetic and unconscious they can honestly believe it is not so.

A reasonable analysis but it only highlights the inadequacy of the modern feminine viewpoint. The other end of the analysis is that any person who cannot meaningfully provide support for their partner without losing respect for the partner is looking at the world through the lens of a selfish child and lacks the maturity to be worthy of adult respect. It's important that men try to understand women but there is no reason to accept childish self-centred people as equal or even as worthy partners. Men are absolutely entitled to demand that they be treated with respect by their partners and if that means that some people need to up their level of maturity then so be it. I can tell you from personal experience that settling for this type of woman leads to an abusive relationship first emotionally and then in other ways. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that women can't be expected to be decent toward their men, they can be better than the women you have been interviewing, we men just need to stop settling for less than worthy an stop allowing our partners to use us or shame us.

An emotional man is like a fat woman - completely undesirable.

As a 30 year old man who's been in several long term relationships, here's my advice, never share your emotions with a woman until you're almost done fixing whatever is causing you to be emotional. Trouble at work? Don't tell her until you've gotten through that rough patch. Fall out with a friend? Don't tell her until you've patched things up or replaced that friend. Women will use any weakness against you, but if they don't know your weaknesses until you've conquered them, they can't use them against you and they'll respact you more.

The amount of self denial we have to excercise in order to "get" women often makes me question wether there is a point in having a relationship at all.

She doesn't want to be your mother .. she wants you to be her Daddy... and deal with her unresolved emotions and trauma every month...

When she tells you constantly you're too serious and you need to open up you're doing the right thing... stay aloof and stoic

In all my past relationships, whenever i tried to open up, i always noticed that they became less and less attracted to me. They think they want their man to be more open, but in reality they find it frustrating and humiliating

"What women really want" Who cares!😎

I can simplify this even further: There are four basic emotions: Happiness, sadness, anger and fear (other emotions are variations or combinations of these fundamental four). Never, ever express fear. You can share about the other three and their variations all you want but never fear. So you are in SE Asia? Been there, done that. Never mistake for love a woman's social and cultural conditioning or her desire to break free of said conditioning. Women by and large do not love men (there are exceptions of course). They love their children (usually). In the human sphere of nature as well as the animal, the male is a means to an end. There is a reason that the bible commands husbands to love and cherish their wives and wives to respect their husbands.

WTF!!! Really. A war veteran came home from hell and been struggling with PTSD. Who knows what he has seen or gone through. She begged him to open up and NOW she not attracted to him anymore. This is such bulls@&t🤬. Who ever this war veteran is. I want to say thank you for your service and god bless you. Welcome home soldier 💯 .

Make something up that has damaged you. Tell her about it. Now wait for her to attack you with it and try to injure you. That's your girl.

I lost my last girlfriend after i opened up emotionally after the dead of my father. We were together for two years and thought she would help me get through this hard time. I had to do it myself and feel stronger than ever and never need to open up or vent my emotions anymore for anything.

Listen guys just cry, scream, get the anger out when she’s not around. And if she asks you to open up, tell her you’re not the emotional type and if she can’t handle it she can leave anytime.

"Open up" doesn't mean "talk to me about your feelings ", it means "express your feelings on how important I AM to you".

For me (a man) it works both ways, actually. I find overly emotional or insecure women very unattractive.

Look you're right, no one wants to fix your problems. Go to therapy or something, but if she can't support or understand you, then leave her. You will go through trauma after you get the girl. It's not linear bro don't 1 + 1 this. What you need to realize is there will be times when you are vulnerable, and yes vulnerability can rally or lose you respect depending on how you behave. Get a sense on how much you can rely on her and see if that's within reason, that's what is super important. Don't shack up with a one way vampire who can't tolerate to see you falter sometimes. Ultimately I agree that you should take responsibility, don't depend on someone else to fix you or blame others.

Learnt this one the hard way, but I can confirm it's accurate. If you do need help, talk to your friends or a professional. Women say they want to know what you're feeling because society tells them that men "should be in touch" with their emotions and they can tell themselves they're kind, supportive and caring for listening. In reality all you're doing is making yourself look weak, losing the respect they have for you and killing attraction stone dead.

This is depressing. I'd assume the guy with PTSD got it during his relationship. He can't just put it on hold until he sorts it out! The fact that he couldn't go to her at all... that's where I wonder what's the point of being in a relationship. What is the point if the woman isn't actually willing to console you to any degree equivalent to how men would for women? Maybe I can consider this kind of strategy to ease into a relationship and share more overtime, but having to brush off everything? I could only imagine doing that if the woman also brushed off how she felt, but I doubt that would be a very fulfilling relationship.

When a woman says open up, she wants reassurance about your feelings about her. Her: Open up, what are you thinking about? You: I'm thinking about .

a "high quality woman" shouldn't just lose attraction even if we are needy. I mean, yes, she is attracted to our "manly" traits, but being a man is not just about confidence and leadership. Masculine character involves all sorts of things, such as masculine posture, masculine way of speaking, masculine way of thinking. Men don't lose attraction if the women can't get pregnant, or don't do dishes. Even if she doesn't do any of that stuff, she will be attractive to a lot of guys (unless she is really really ugly). So I think this is really unfair. And I am disapointed that you didn't point out this unfairness in your video. But I agree that it seems to be the truth.

It is too complicated to keep a woman's insecurities at bay. Not my job.

Here's the real difference : Feminine emotions - I experience feelings and it's ok to let them rule me. It's not my fault if my feeling prevent me from getting the job done. Masculine emotions - I experience feelings, but I try to not let them control my actions. Either way, I still get the job done.

"I want you to open up more." "I'm going through some stuff, but I'll be fine." "Ew."

In my country we have a tv show where a team of psychologists pair up single people so they get married without ever knowing each other, and then the show follows them around. In one of the episodes, the guy and the girl were really into each other, and after a week he told her that he might be developing feelings for her, the next day she practically stopped interacting with him, giving cold shoulders and making "that face". When they know you are involved, they feel like you probably are beneath them- its subconscious.

No don't do it. This is why you need to have good friends that are men. Your partner or wife. Will not want to hear any of this. And it is because of how women are in society. It is not in their genetics to be this way with their chosen mate.

*The key takeaway from all knowledge on femininity and masculinity.* Never conform to her wishes that jeopardises the polarity for attraction. Basically doing feminine stuff, both emotionally (share feelings, etc.) and physically (following her lead in anything).

Woman: I love a mysterious man who doesn't make it easy for me and leaves me in suspense (also woman): I hate that he's so hard to figure out. I wish he would just (finally) open up to me!!

"Honey, we need to talk." The most terrifying five words a man can hear.

Sad truth: She doesn't want to help to solve your problems. But she expects you to solve hers. So what's the point of a relation anywho?

Share your emotions, she loses attraction for you. Don't share your emotions, she loses attraction for you. Another example as to why men are walking away from women.

to me the irony in all of these things is that not being authentic rather modelling some kind of response/behaviour/etc is whats undesirable to myself so i cant see any compatibility with someone who expects regulated or acted behaviour

Me: *gets red pilled* Me: *realizes that its too much work on my end* Me: this is not what I want... *left the dating game*

Reminds me of a conversation I overheard on the commute one time. In the seats behind mine we're two girls discussing an article in some shitty magazine about whether Men should be allowed to cry or not. They were in accord that they should. One of them however went on to say that it doesn't necessarily follow that Women can handle it if they do, as she found out the hard way. She expanded that she'd once had her then BF turn up unexpectedly at her place distraught and in floods because He'd just found out his best friend had been killed in a road incident, and all she could think of to say to him was "Pull yourself together! Be a Man!".

I have BPD (at the moment) due to several cases of abandonment, abuse and neglect throughout my life. The thing is I feel like I'm extremely strong for having survived this long and not fallen prey to my shadow. Often what happens is when I open up, people leave. When I clam up, people try to pry me open. It's exhaustingly maddening.

I am very introspective with my emotion and can deal with them effective on my own. If that makes me robotic and weak there is nothing I want to do about it. It is what it is.

Sounds like a lot of red tape and bullshit to me. “Stay in masculine frame all the time in a society that doesnt want you there, while expressing your emotions to maintain a monogamous relationship that can end at any moment bc she loses attraction for expressing your emotions and not expressing your emotions” Got it.

Yea......the only emotions women want to see from you or any guy are: happy, funny, serious, projecting fake confidence, and pretending everything is under control at all times. She cant even deal with her negative emotions half the time, let alone yours. So basically, only allow the positive to reach the surface, be prepared to be her free therapist, while simultaneously having your own therapist you actually pay for that you see on the side for your own problems.

Men! Boy we have it tough . Too far left, they leave, too far right, they leave. It's like juggling balls and walking on a wire.

Living in the world where u have to hide ur emotions in case to hold ur woman isn't life, it's misery. Cut it down till u find real compatible woman for urself and enjoy this life

If a woman is gonna leave you because you’re too emotional or not emotional enough it’s not really a problem. Who cares? It’s only a problem when you’re married because if she lives she gets 50 percent or more of all your assets.

I guess i was never ready for relationship and never will be. Normal guy.

Stop listening to what they say they want, truth is, they don't know what they want. Most of times, women think highly of themselves, so they think they want to love you and support you and accept you, when in reality they don't. Stop playing their game. Do as you please, don't try to please them because you're neve going to.

Her: “You never _share_ anything!” Me: “I buried my parents under the house.” Her: 😳👀😬

It's a very overlooked point, I think, that the key is to first point out to your girl that you do have a problem you are wrestling with, but you are capable of working it out, even if it takes some time. That way the girl gets the satisfaction of feeling like she's emotionally connecting with you, without feeling like she's getting any burden of "having to solve your problem". I've been trying this for a while now and I haven't seen any negative effects. There's also that catch 22 that even if I have a problem or I'm feeling overwhelmed, it's not that often because I understand by now that problems my problems eventually work themselves out. Good vid, Alex, keep it up.

Long ago, I opened up my feelings to one of my first girlfriends. She said, "I don't care about your feminine stuff." I was seeing two ther girls at the time. She became #2...then#3....then #0. But I learned my lesson. True facts.

war veteran: not manly enough because he expressed his emotions. Where are this woman's priorities at?

She wants you to share your feelings and emotions simply so that she can use them against you. If you want to keep a woman around and maintain her respect, NEVER talk about your feelings.

It's the story of Samson and Delilah from 1 Samuel. Once he told her his weakness, she exploited it against him but as long as he hid it from her, he was fine.

The real reason she wants you to open up is to see if you are handling it or she should leave you...

Expressing or acknowledging / accepting our emotions, showing that they are an integrated part of ourselves and that they are used to give impetus to drive forward and accomplish things. That our emotions are part of our driving force, there is purpose behind them or used for purpose / accomplish goals and to live a more full life.

Somewhere out there, a doll is waiting for you to open up. Make sure you are strong enough first, as the thick ones can get quite heavy.

Facts. This cost me a 20 year marriage. Maybe it wasn't salvageable, but understanding this balance between repression and neediness would have helped considerably.

My now ex wife kept pressing me about my in unresolved trauma from childhood. Once I had opened up I was seen as weak. She had lost true desire. I thought she was soulmate. Know there is no such thing as a soulmate. Do not get oneitus for a woman. NEVER inform a woman of your weak feelings or traumatic past. Resolve it yourself prior a relationship.

My first love of 6 months broke up with me 2 months ago. She posted on her story her singing to a song that hint at me to open up to her. I said way to much about my past but I learned my lesson. Like paragraphs lol hoping that once she gets to see the real me she'd understand why I was pushing her away (tried breaking up with her 2 times) or sometimes being needy (i loved kissing and holding on to her ass especially since we hardly had a chance to go on dates with her strict parents). I had ptsd from surviving an earthquake and told her i came from an all boy school so i didn't know much about girls even tho she seen other girls call me attractive or whatever else infront of her they didnt know she was my gf and she'd get jealous so i thought that was enough for her to stay being attracted so id always tell when someone is flirting with me. I made so many mistakes on my first relationship but now i know what not to do with girls and that I'm glad I'm not dating her anymore. When we started dating she was a mess emotionally and I was good and when i developed feelings for her while we having sex that's when we both became messes cause i couldn't control what i was feeling never felt like it before. Worst part is that we work together. And she went on a date with some other guy last week, my friend showed me a pic of her and a guy.

If you show too much weakness you come across as needy and exposing any weak points means they get targeted mercilessly in arguments. It's a minefield. The best thing may be just that "I have this problem, but I'm on top of it" approach, but it's probably wise to also make it vague or misleading so it doesn't leave you open in the next fight. I've had women trying to get at me through what they thought were my weak points and it is super obvious when they try that and get it wrong.

The girl is asking you to open up so that she can also be more emotional and cause more drama. She isnt asking you to open up so that she can deal with your problems. She doesnt want to deal with your problems. If you make her deal with your problems, she will walk away.

I'm going to argue that @4:16 is the truly unhealthy fearful mindset. If you're self policing out of fear of her reaction and judgment of you, you're not anymore healthy than the guy that refuses to be vulnerable. This type of emotional contortionism is not better for you as a man simply because its not natural and it only comes from a place of wanting her approval. You're basically living in the same place as the soldier whose wife left him for opening up. We have to accept the fact that every individual has their very personal (and self serving) definition of "opening up" and "sharing" and stop assuming that women's opinions are some sort of gold standard.

"Pleeeaaaaaasssssseee honeeyyyy, open up ! (I hope you have nothing to share)."

They don’t care about you being healthy, they just care about feeling better about them selves. They want to believe they helped you so they feel better. That’s all I’ve learned from my experience.

Alexander, you are too bothered about what women want. I think men should be however they want to be, showing emotion or not showing emotion, it's up to them and who cares what women think?

If I opened up all my emotions with my wife she would disappear faster than the road runner.

This video was very clarifying! Thanks, Alexander!

Very well said. She wants YOU to care for HER, not the other way around... ever. Yet you can release your emotions in short bursts, just act counter to the emotion quickly afterwards. If you cry, be strong after. If you explode angrily, be humble and apologetic after. She WANTS an emotional rollercoaster (as you previously mentioned in a vid - it makes her feel - and she likes feeling emotions), she doesn't want a looong boring ride without adventure. So just let your emotions out when you feel strongly; remember the golden rule to act counter to those emotions quickly after, even if for you those emotions haven't changed or lessened. 👍

1. Keep the mystery gents. 2. Keep them chasing your validation. 3. Keep them sexually satisfied. Job done !!

Hey brother, Thanks for sharing. I’m a little surprised that what you’ve said here is something that many men don’t seem to know. But hey, if they don’t learn it from their dads, I’m glad we have people like you

I would say opening up also means being honest.

I learned that when I was 17, this girl I got friendly with saw me as weak and lost respect for me when I opened up, but looking back, I don't respect people that think like that in principle anyway.

Crying = weak because duh Witholding your tears = weak because you don't dare to open up Me: confused as hell

Open Up = Show Me Your Exploitable Weaknesses.

This is PREMIUM content mate, in just 6 minutes you were able to put a coherent, solid and precise point and message that I see many others trying to put on longer videos and fail to pass the message. Cheers.

As soon as she opens up the doors to your fortress, the Trojan horse enters.

After you have faced all of your unresolved emotions, then you get to solve all of her unresolved emotions.

I watched a portion of a Joe Rogan podcast and the female guest he had was the absolute worst. She was saying how she’s only really attracted to fighters, and that she was dating this really good one. But she lost all attraction for him once he lost a fight, and therefore broke up with him.

Every men need to hear this... and remember that she wants a man, not being a mom. Almost lost attraction from my gf because of something similar. I was quite lucky that she is smart enough to understand what was happening and desire me again.

i remember reading a magazine article about the Israeli raid on the terrorist plane hijackers at Entebbe. one special forces guy ended up wheelchair bound, but his wife continued to take care of him. This was in the 80s.... not many women with that level of maturity and loyalty now. But it does show it is possible.

I like the calm and analytical way you approach your topics. Other commentators on RU-vid can be a touch shrill. Keep doing what you’re doing and I think you will evolve into a very popular channel.