Do This When She Backs Away (From A Psychotherapist) 

Craig has the best advice on break ups

My friend told me the more u worry about losing something, the more u will lose it. I think its true.

If a woman decides to back away, shes playing games and is testing you. Unless shes straight up honest and communicates her intentions which is very rare. She wants to walk, let her walk. No need to over analyze. Reciprocate what you're given cause at the end of the day you cant force anything

Always, always ALWAYS remember this rule!: Don't cry over someone who's NOT crying over you! Always match a womans sudden declining interest in you. If she starts to fade, you start to fade.

Men must always mirror women's emotions. It's the the golden rule!

Golden nugget right here - If she acts emotionally stable, do be emotionally stable. If she acts emotionally distant, do be emotionally distant. If she acts cold and unaffectionate, do be cold and unaffectionate. If she acts detached and distant, do be detached and distant. If on the other hand she acts clingy, needy, anxious, whiny, sensitive, crazy, or emotional... Either walk away or hold on to that power and relish in it. You’ve won.

What i learned from this: Be less available Remain Stoic Match their energy Don't chase. All in All: Those who master their darkside, rule their minds....

From personal experience, the best thing to do when they back away are to leave them be. Why over complicate things? Let her sort out whatever needs to be sorted out and she'll be more inclined to reach out again.

I've was dumped 2 months ago by my fiance. She told me a few days before that I was her rock, her soul mate, her eternal peace to her heart. She has a lot of insecurity issues, I was always reassuring her. She has a son with anxiety issues and a very destructive daughter with severe anxiety issues. My ex also lost a son in a motor accident a few years ago. I was always there for my fiance, but her daughter wanted her mum all to herself, bearing in mind that her daughter is 32 years old and lives in her own apartment. However, after being told all the nice things about being a soul mate etc, she dumped me 3 days later on the telephone. I've been in bits. I couldn't work for 3weeks and I thought I was going to die. I loved this girl with everything that I have. I never chased her and I've been in no contact for just over 2 months now. I am slowly getting myself back to some kind of normality, but trust me it's been an absolute heart wrenched. All of my family and friends were in total total shock when I broke the news. These videos really help, even know I've accepted that she isn't coming back and I have to move on, but it isn't easy.

I break nofap, but I don't break no contact. Period.

Had a girl back away, I reacted the wrong way of course. But after about a week. I accepted it. Tried to move on. 2 weeks later her and I are speaking similarly and end up hooking up again. She flirts and I flirt and we hook up a couple.more times. When we get more comfortable its again the same thing. She backed away. So this time i am reacting the right way. This time I was expecting it. It feels good to be in control again

when it comes to break up Craig is by far the best

Females’ interest levels randomly fluctuate a lot more than men’s, In my experience.

This is excellent advice, every time I want to text her, I stop and listen to your advice

Stupid people will waste their time making woman Happy why dont you make yourselfe happy

I know that you're right and that I should also back away but It's SO hard. It really requires a high level of discipline. My natural reaction is to try and fix it. I'm trying to fight that instinct.

I believe everyone is different, doesn't matter if you are male or female or whatever. If someone isn't showing an interest with you, ask them if everything is okay and if they don't reply they aren't worth your time anyway. I'd never do that to somebody so if somebody does it to me they will not be hearing much from me again anyway. If they ignore you for days and days and don't get back to you, it's their loss as far as I'm concerned.

These videos by you and Margaret have been a Godsend. I started no contact 4 days ago when she explained how much she loved me but wanted to move on with someone else. I'm starting to get in acceptance mode but it has been difficult.

Wow, it has been one month and a half since my break, started to do the Workbooks and seeing your videos since day one, today is the first day, that i actually feel happy. Thank you

I begged and cried when my ex and I met for the first time after we broke up. For someone that was devoted to me, it was a shock to see her not feel the same separation anxiety as I was. I wasn't great at telling her what she meant to me throughout our relationship so I thought for the first time I would and she would feel wanted and valued. But it didn't make a difference. She did not come home that day and I've not heard from her in 3 months. I think she was emotionally and mentally ready to leave me. I was not ready to leave her and I still miss her every day, 7.5 months later. This is not what I EVER wanted. My reality is hell.

Thank you Craig Kenneth, listened to this around 6 or 7 years ago, Im on the same situation, followed your advise and Now she is my wife with 1 kid.

I’m at a point in my life this very moment where I think this advice helped me SO SO much… almost 6 months in with an incredible woman and she has some personal and work stresses that are really hard on her… she told me last night as I stopped over to reassure her I’m here for her and what does she need from me to help her thru this… I wasn’t prepared for what she wanted… no more hanging out… no good morning texts anymore,… no nightly phone conversations on how both our days were and planning a sat home date..movie n dinner is what she loved to do… and very often a sleepover :-). But no more. No warning. Not ready for how I felt. I’m gonna give her the space she says she needs… it’s hard to not know how she’s doing. But I won’t persist and bug her. I needed this video. Thx very much. I hope it’s the right move…. She’s really a sweet beautiful and funny woman… and we really get along Time will tell I guess.

Man, if a women is interested in you, she will go out of her way to reach out to you no matter what. I experienced many woman like that who has interest in me even after going cold with them for months or years. If a woman does not have interest in you, and you keep clinging on that feeling, you only hurt yourself. This also happened to me as well, even now and then the feeling will linger, but it will fade away eventually. And when you meet a new woman, then your feeling will be focus on her instead. Just remember one thing, don't be too attached or invested too much of your feeling for one women. Give her at max 60% of your feeling and attention. The rest invest in your friends, family, and hobby

I've watched alot of video's after a recent break up. And everything you said resonated with me. This is the first video that has helped me feel better. My bio father has been absent my entire life. My mother passed away 7yrs ago and she was my rock. I have extreme separation anxiety after breakups and its a horrific experience. You just gave me something to think about when that anxiety hits me.

No separation anxiety here. I'm perfectly happy being single. I don't need anyone in my life, not even a god. When she pulls away, I do the same to give her space and then I will ask her ''what's going on?'' If she still ignores me, I move on to find someone mature. Simple as that.

True story, until last Feb I was seeing someone for 5 months until she decided to end it. When she told me I just said my piece and moved on and never contacted her again. A month later she reached out and I asked her for a coffee and she said she'll let me know as she was going away the next week for a few days, so I said ok that is great and left it like that. 3 weeks later she came again and we met, and things between us where like we never finished. But a week later I did not hear from her anymore so I did not contact her or reach out to ask her if she is ok I just moved on. 10 days later she send me "hey how are you???" I just replied "Am good" a week later she texted again with "I don't know what I have done wrong or if you are upset with me for any reason but it does not matter, I just hope you are ok x". I told her that this is confusing for me as I keep on getting mixed signals from you, this was last May. A month later she reaches out in June, we exchanged a few texts but I was a bit cold so it ended quickly and she reached out again a month later, well a few weeks ago. Will see if she comes again lol. Am not asking her out again, if she wants too, she can do that herself, in the mean time I keep on dating other girls and carry on with my life... that's how life goes..

BUT, don't be a doormat where she comes and goes all the time and doesn't invest anything into the relationship. That's not a relationship, that's an acquaintance. BOUNDARIES, people!

Women and men go through the same crap lol. I've seen this video advising men and another advising women and it's the same thing! Most of the time people pull away because fear of getting hurt by rejection or not feeling secure, trusting of you. Women are told if the guy really wants you, he will chase you. I think that if there is unsureness just ask! People in general are afraid of rejection but at the same time fear commitment. First I recommend be completely and utterly happy being single and then go off and be open and vulnerable but with confidence and ease. It's all about attracting quality people in your life not quantity. Be the kind of person you would like to meet and it will happen

Not only are your videos helpful for both men and women in terms of steps for success in building a good relationship. But there also very sobering to watch. I was feeling anxious becuase of a situation i'm having with someone i've seen a couple of times, after watching some of your videos i'm feeling a lot better, a lot less depressed, and i feel like i can get on with other things in my life rather than thinking 24/7 about my love interest.

This really cleared my head and helped me with my anxiety

If a woman truly loves you true to cares for you she is not going to let a good thing go that easily.

anxiety is the root of desire, good!

always good to go back, rewatch theaw videos to remind myself to trust the process and be calm in all situations, no matter what. thanks craig!!

Shouldn’t someone desire you cause they love who you are and not cause you are just afraid to lose them?

If a woman backs away from you let her go and find someone else that's what she has done move on if she comes back dont take her back right away keep her at a distance for the time you were apart and date other women be busy doing you never be in the friend zone never be available.

There is no point in trying to close that gap. She pulls away for a reason, and pretty much all women pull away at some point during the relationship. The best thing to do is to give her some space and let her come back. If she comes back, cool. If not that is also ok. I think it's unhealthy to become too attached to the outcome.

I'm dealing with this right now. I dated a girl for a couple months and she started checking out and pulling away, saying there's no connection and doesn't wanna be with me. I put effort in our early dates and conversations but then she started declining so I let my behavior reflect hers to show what she's doing and what it looks like, it went downhill from there. And we're not even friends on social media and she still goes outta her way to watch what I'm doing...

Excellent advice Coach Craig and of course what many guys don't understand is why a girl goes cold on them. Females are set up on a mating cycle. Generally the two times of the month during her cycle is when she's most receptive the the male and that's when she's ovulating and before and during her periods, this is when her hormones are going crazy but then when these opportune times pass, she will shut down a bit and this confuses the guy cause she was so hot for him the week before and now she's cold. This just doesn't apply to sex but also how receptive she is towards him for communication.

Basically keep a line up of women so once one of your women starts tripping go on to the next and make the one that was tripping earn back attention and affection. Men are the prize and women are the possession. Never put all your eggs in one basket. Don't feed into the games or the fickle behavior of these women. Men are not toys.

I wish you would do more videos like this one for the guys like me who have been in a long-term relationship.

You really are good, Craig. I'm in a new relationship and it's been a while for me. Things were getting a bit strange between the new girl and I. But it has worked out. You're the best.

Men make themselves all the time. Make yourself scarce once in a while. She'll text you when she starts wondering...

The sad part is this should be common sense. But guys chase out of insecurity. Live in abundance, date multiple women, and don't chase a woman that backs off. Also if a girl is interested, she will respond to a text or call you back. It is not like you sent a love letter that got lost in the mail. She knows you contacted her. LOL

11:43 to 12:11 I replayed that over and over to get that through my thick skull. Thank you Coach Craig.

After watching Craig's videos I'm convinced everything happens because of seperation anxiety. Car won't start? Car is anxious Lose your job? Your boss is anxious McDonald's screw up your burger? Employee is anxious

And sometimes when you get these women they are not even worth the hassle it took to get them smh. All that time,energy,effort and money you put into it and then you see the real monster that you’ve been trying to get

this is one of my favorite videos u have done

Who wants to be in a relationship where the woman's feelings change 24/7? Doesn't sound like a "secure base" to me. Sounds exhausting never knowing how they feel. If her emotions are irrational like that you might be better off finding a girl with a more secure attachment style.

Yeah, he texted too much. But she could have told him that ahead of time. Hey, I'm going to spend some time with a friend of mine. Talk to you in a few day! Instead, she just disappears and when he acts like a normal human being and wants to know what the heck happened, reaches out for a response, its all his fault? He messaged too much, but she acted childish disappearing like that.

Agreed. We must learn to walk away anytime. When we do-they chase. It’s true. ✅

Imagine dating a psychotherapist? All the mind games 🤣😂

i think you are by far, most helpful when it comes to relationship talk

Great video craig! This is one of the hardest things to do. Thanks for explaining!

You just lifted my spirits, given me new life

Thank you I needed to hear this. I am breaking down and was contemplating contacting him..been more than a month. It is so difficult when you know you did your best. Like what else does he want? He tells me I am a good catch etc...but ours is a difficult situation. :( any comforting words is welcome ...please. 😭

She's never yours , It is just your turn. Women are known to be not loyal to their emotions. Not saying you have to hate them for this. It is just part of their nature. My gf and I are in no contact for a week and during these quarantine days, getting myself busy texting with another girl. Life goes on mates!

You have everything needed for each situation ... can’t say how I appreciate every thing and find everything very beautiful

i been doing this for this girl at work i fked up with her but i backed away and i started to notice she been walking past me lately i never seen her near my area ever

Wow if only you were around 20 years ago. Looking back I can see that my biggest mistake dating wise was being too needy and not backing away when she backed away. Great video though and very informative.

These videos are the only thing keeping me sane

Thanks Craig for your advices, Today I started feeling bad because a girl but that´s true, I have to stay cool and relaxed, and have confident on myself. Greetings from Mexico.

There should be a book of quotes said by Craig like: "feelings change like the clouds in the sky" or "you are the mountain" Many Thanks for you insight buddy!

ive been talking to a girl for 2 weeks now an we had one date shes showing me she likes me and telling me blowing up my phone but then when i put in i like you text to her she goes distant . i dont understand why shes telling me she likes me ,telling her mom about me , introducing her daughter to me and so forth ... and boom shes not texting for a day or two and not answering me ,we both agreed to go slow and well .. coach craig im glad i saw this video when i did .. ive already text her hi and whats up why you being this way . well im glad you advised me what to do in this situation and im hoping it works !! i really do like this women .

Men have some pride! Show her you're an Alpha. If she put you in the dreaded and useless "friends zone" you made some mistakes early in meeting her and you put her in the "goodbye zone". If shes not calling, returning your calls, or returning your texts. Don't call her or text her anymore. Delete her number move on. The MORE you chase a girl the MORE you push a girl away. I'll text or call a woman once MAYBE twice then that's it. Learn and EXPECT to cut a woman lose. Let her know from the beginning that you have NOOOOO problem meeting a d finding other women. Let her learn from the beginning that she is NOT a priority. Hell let her see you talk to other women. It works for me. If time goes by and you run into her...if and when you see her just smile and say "hay stranger" be polite and treat her like an co worker. Then keep it moving don't linger. Its even better if she sees you talking to other attractive women and seeing you smile and hugging other women. If I get asked by a girl "how come I haven't heard from you?" My response is "same reason I haven't heard from you". If she asks how have you been say "I'm great, got a vacation coming up!" If some time goes by and she does text you "hi" or "what's up". They get really upset if you text "who's this?" Make her I.D. herself to you if not delete her. It shows them that you deleted thier number and automatically tells them they aren't a priority which hurts their little girl pride and makes them see you in a different light. Remember...they are use to guys asking for their number and KEEPING it. By letting her know you deleted her number or shows you have some pride and don't give a shit and elevates you higher in her eyes. I'm very blunt and will call a woman out in heartbeat. If she has the nerve to ask me why did I delete her number? I'll say "Really? I haven't heard from you in X amount of time so I figured you didn't give a shit and if you didn't give a shit then why should I?" Believe it or not this has worked for me a few times.

Very helpful Craig, you don't give just opinion,you explain the roots and this is what we really need, thank you

Yeah, this happened to me. I might have been too needy, may be trying to advance things too fast, and she suddenly got busy. Its been tricky the past 3 weeks, i backed way off, then she asked to meet up last week. Now she hasn't responded to a text in 3 days. Girls are so confusing. I'm gonna back away again.

Can you make a video on how to deal with an ex that keeps going hot and cold.

Words of wisdom, on point!

We were doing well till last November: eventually, I managed to take her out but then she went super cold: ignoring my messages and doing so many things! I managed to stay cool for a long time, not allowing my anxiety to beat me and yesterday someone suggested I unfriend her as a sign to ask her to recheck her recent actions! That's what I did, and now I'm wondering if what I did is the right or wrong thing

Craig, I’ve been studying your teachings for the same relationship I’ve had. My problems that I make the same mistakes as a newbie when my girl becomes distant from other nonRelated issues. Been together for almost 3 years now. We never fights, or use profanity at each other, but I have more expectations from a beautiful intelligent woman she is. I expect her to standup for me to those jealous people who are no good, but instead she avoids bringing up my name so she doesn’t have to tell them: “ Shut the f up,, you all wish you had a man like him”. She’s proud and talk highly about me to her family and coworkers, but dump my name in the bin in front of her neighbors. That has been the major reason of us getting frustrated, next thing to another... I get offended, she gets distant and I stay away. Meanwhile I don’t talk to her I go through crap. I’m independent, take care of myself, train hard, nutrition, sense of fashion which she got attracted from the beginning. I feel like whenever I go through separation anxiety, she seems ( looks like) indifferent... and that brings more pain to me. I send my 4 to 5 heavy text- reactions, then I shut up.

If she backs away... just let it be , don’t contact her , block her , remove her from social media.. trust me one night she will be lonely and will think about you of how she backed away and you didnt give 2 fucks and she will come back

Dealing with a breakup at the moment... after 10 days of no contact I messaged her and explained we had good times together and told her I'm working on myself and doing better. She replied casually and said she's glad for me and wish me the best. I was expecting for us to get back together so that answer throw me off guard... I asked if she was off that day and she said yes... but also said she think we should continue the way we weren't speaking... I don't know if she's really trying to move on and forget about me, all the time we spent ands things we did together, or if she is really trying to punish me and make me upset and feel anxiety. I notice she post pics at times of her workouts and of herself like her life is still so great. I must admit it hurt me and I still miss her and think of her. We just broke up about 2 weeks after being together for 4+ years! I feel the no contact role but maybe she doing the same and I feel ill be giving into her if I don't do no contact at all. Seeing that she don't want us communicating 🤷🏾‍♂️

So I return to the dating market for almost a year now after a decade of being married, and the battlefield out there is so different these days. Although I had multiple successes with women much younger and hotter than me, but girls out there these days are not committed after the lay regardless how good the lay or the date were. Those hot dates usually start with being like love birds before and after the lay but turn cold after 3-4 weeks.. this has happened to me multiple times including women in my age. After watching these videos and reading thru some of the comments had make me realize that the blame is on social media/dating sites and feminist moment of sexual liberation. Women these days will not feel obligated or have invested anything after the lay...they can easily swipe left or right again for the next Joe.

Dead on. Good advice and I know it works wonders. Always keep it chill

Any guys had a girl tell you she loved you, then she disappeared shortly after? Had this happen to me more times than I can remember. Mentally unstable liars. :o)

You should do a video on the 'Grass is Greener syndrome'!

I agree in some ways in this Video I did a lot of chasing I tired of doing it because I get same result every time I really need my confidence up because it been low for a while what should I do

This was Absolutely some of the most fantastic advice I’ve ever heard of sir thanks so much and God bless you !!

Wow... this video completely explained a lot to me. Thanks so much

This is an awesome video. He explains so much in this video it gives me hope with my situation. I look for the best advice to hopefully get my ex-girlfriend back one day I know it takes time but with videos like this you should definitely post more of these. Any advice on the best things to do when your ex literally tell you they are trying to move forward after going through so much together for 2 1/2 years? Any comments are appreciated

Such a good video. I’m dating a woman and she began to pull away kinda out of nowhere. I’m glad I can refer back to this video for guidance!

Why do guys always ask, "what do i need to do to get her back?" The answer is so obvious. NOTHING. There is nothing you can DO to get your ex girlfriends back. The question should be "What should i avoid doing to increase my chances of her revisiting the idea of getting back with me?" It's all about behavior. The key is not to try to get them back, it's to try and move on and become a better version of yourself, so if they do come back, you can re-attract them. You have to accept that they're gone, and that there is a good chance they'll never come back, otherwise you will actually never get them back. It's funny... Out of all my girlfriends, the ones that never came back were the ones that i really wanted back, and that i was hurting over for months. Even though i walked away, they never reached out. It's like they could sense that i wasn't over them and they new they could have me. I wasn't weak. I accepted the breakups and walked away like a man, but nothing. Yet the ones that i moved on quickly from, that i couldn't care less, reached out within a month. One of them was constantly reaching out saying she missed me even though she was seeing another guy. This went on for a few months until she accepted that i wasn't interested and moved on, and one of them was reaching out to talk and wanting me back for over a year! I could have gotten these girls back but i didn't want to. Only when you get to that place are you able to truly re-attract them. It's like Craig says, when you genuinely don't care anymore they can sense it, like a disturbance in the force lol.

(In the email) That woman should've been straight up and told the guy she was seeing that she wanted some space. Instead she ignored him. He didn't know what was wrong, he didn't know what if something horrible happened to her. Not the guy's fault this time.

Fucking phones,texting,and social media came along and fucked everything up!

Thanks Coach Craig. This is the best advice on Earth! Or any other planet in the galaxy!

Needed this tonight. Thank you!

I met this lady about 2 months ago and it was an instant attraction. we pretty much spent our weekends together for the first month and then I noticed that she pulled back. we had some arguments and we talked about it but everything still feels weird, I chased her for a week and then I backed off. I started going out more and having fun and she watches my activities on my snapchat. It has been over 2 weeks now and I haven’t heard from her. I don’t know if she’s dating someone else and i don’t know if I should move on and forget her altogether. what should I do?

Its amazing that women want men who arent players and assholes...yet they ghost guys instead of just saying whats going on. I used to be that guy who would try and see whats going on. Now, if I dont hear from them, I dont even ask. I delete their number.

Craig you should do is Video on what to do when she backs away and broken up but still live together and have kids . How do you work on no contact when y’all still live together

I definitely don't chase her when she pulls away. It sucks, but i do nothing. Then she calls, or messages me. I respond, she pulls away. Then rinse and repeat. 🙄 I love her, but 🤬 I'm tired.

The best coach on the planet.

I love your videos! I was just wondering how to build intimacy if you actually want something long term. I get that being distant gets more attention but how can I get closer to someone if it's just a constant game of cat and mouse?

I need help with my relationship but unfortunately can't afford your coaching where I'm supporting 3 kids on my own

Yep this happens in lesbian relationships to I am dating this girl for 3 weeks from the beginning her interest level was really high and I tried to set up a 4th date and she was not sure about it so I told her to get in touch with me when she is free and it’s been like 3 weeks since then

I see it's time to change my Approach. Thanks a lot for this video we'll see if it works!!!!

Sometimes when people fall back like that, there is usually something else interfering. That use to tear me up but I've grown from that , I just said hey , if she found somebody better then let her stay gone .I probably wont even reply if she ever texted or called me in the future because that's a narcissistic symptom also. Normal people communicate when they need space if they truly like you. To back away without communication is a huge red flag and says a lot about that person . So now I'm not comfortable with this person because I feel like something or someone else is being hidden. Normal people communicate with someone they like and dont want to risk losing. I dont play those type of games with nobody. If you leave and leave me clueless to why . Dont even bother trying to come back later because I won't see you the same. I respect any woman who can say , i need a few days to myself and i will respect that 100 percent. That make me love her even more because she care about me enough and have the decency to that. Men, respect women when they need their space.

Ur a amazing coach Mr Craig!!!

I wish i knew this ive done alotta research into this and u and many more have explained this when she pulled away i was clingy needy and now shes got me quite quite pushed away not out but not even relatively what we were, thanks for it live and learn she was a really really cool girl too

Thank you very much for the simplicity I your message

Great advice, thanks so much!