I am subscribed. I would not post the whole story in the comments. I just thought you had an email for people who want to tell their story. I listen to your video 8 hours a day. You and Margaret helped me so much and I have become a life coach from listening to you. I already had education for counseling rape victims and children of sexual assault. I was in law enforcement for 6 years. However if interest just let me know. If not that is ok as well. Great work you do. ❤️
@@tonidenicola9222 Sorry, I do not read any emails without a coaching. There is simply too much demand for my time! Just sign up for a coaching if you'd like my help personally.
Unless you did something egregious to drive them away, you don't actually want them back - you want the validation that they gave you back. Been there, got the t-shirt(s). Take care of yourself and become better than you were (in any form!) than you were when you were with them. You won't need the validation anymore. Love you
Everything you said is absolutely true!!!! I am currently experiencing everything you mentioned, I have been watching your videos since the beginning of my brake up and it's been a few months. I think I can write a book with everything I've been through. Your videos have helped me out through this entire process. After almost 3 months of no contact he reached out, and now wants to work things out.......
I can only dream my ex would come back. She jumped into a rebound the same week we broke up after a 4 yr relationship. Has been with him for 2 months now. And this guy is the complete OPPOSITE of me on EVERY level you can imagine. 31 yr old who still lives with his parents, Ugly, no education, low income, no hair etc ... Me I'm better looking, have hair, Masters degree, 6 figure income, Christian, own my own house and 2 paid off cars, in great shape, Etc etc She reached out 1 time but haven't heard from her now for over a month.
I’m watching this at 2 in the morning on day 6 of no contact. It’s a so tough to fathom the breakup and it’s killing me inside. Your videos give me the strength to carry on at the moment. Honestly I don’t know where I’d be without them ❤
You guys have been helping me get through my current situation. The girl I was dating asked for some space due to some personal problems in her personal life. So I’m just gonna focus on the gym and becoming a firefighter.
I love and appreciate the sense of humor the two of you have. I really need the laughter. It helps so much. Also, you both are great at supplying a good dose of reality which can sometimes be hard to face when you're going through these things. RIP Margaret.
This guy saved my life and changed my entire perspective on day 3 of my breakup. Allowed me to get out of bed and fully function with motivation. Craig, thank you man. (LDR of 3 years, broke up with doubt but still broken up). NC ever since.
@@WalaSTH yep. Stayed focused on myself, journaled my feelings daily until I could tell I was healed and worked on things that I did wrong in my relationship and ended up meeting the most incredible person I could have ever imagined 7 months later. It will all work out. I do not think about my ex anymore in any way.
Victoria just mentioned it's like when you're little and waiting for a parent to come home. Now I know how my dog feels when we leave the house to go to the store for 15 min and he acts like he hasn't seen me in a month lol
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
The annoying dynamic is with an FA that is anxious at first but then goes avoidant. Every time he disappeared I pulled back and told him this confusion isn’t for me. His response? Crying emoji, protests.. I give it another chance, and rinse and repeat until he got spooked by a pregnancy scare and discarded me with no discussion about what it is I wanted re- a baby at that time. He went cold, then when I attempted a reach out after no contact was super friendly and sweet saying he wants to stay friends. It’s been a year since and he’s still doing the push pull even in this dynamic. So I’m opting to disengage. I expect friends and partners to not disappear on me if I reach out in a friendly or loving way. Being left on read in this day and age is a choice so I’m exercising my choice to deem him someone incapable to be a friend or a partner until he heals and chooses to give the same respect I always gave him.
needing some motivation to stay in no contact :( It has been about 1 month, the only contact we had after the breakup was for exchanging things, maybe 4 texts back and forth. And that was it. I'm really struggling today. I've always been a firm believer of NC, and I know I'm not going to break it, but I'm struggling to deal with the agony of it all - the constant mental battle and the insidious longing and want. I'm still trying to kill false hope, I haven't yet. It's just really hard today.
Hang in there. I know how you feel, after I broke up with my first ex, I did NC for a few months. The only contact I had with her after that was like you said, she asked her shoes were still at my place. I took that as a sign as she wanted to initiate contact again, but was wrong. After my birthday passed a week after that and she didn’t say anything, i knew it was over for good. Don’t worry though, it’s cliche but God truly does work in mysterious ways. As hurt as I was, that breakup led me to quit drinking alcohol (after drinking every day for 7 years) and also quitting smoking. I quit because i thought it would make her come back. It didn’t, but now I feel and look way healthier. God bless my friend
Look at it this way.. if there was any chance of rekindling things with your ex. It’s 100% walking away and not reaching out especially if they ended it with you. Stay strong
@@user-qx3gg6dl7x my birthday just came and went... total silence. Haven't heard from my ex at all. I'm still sad about it, honestly a lot of ups and downs. I feel like I'm on autopilot most days. Other than breakup blues, life is good though the silence motivates to also stay in NC too. It would be a total of 6 months since the breakup.
Most of the time it's because they want to use you not necessarily because they are in love with you or they have no one else around to tolerate their crap again. It's rare when they come back for genuine reasons but most of the time it's usually never really good reason.
I am absolutely ecstatic to come across this video. Thank you so so much for your efforts in repairing impulsive behavior... A problem I've experienced for far to long without a doubt. I need to fix my immature perspective and acknowledge my wrong doings through a perspective like the one you've gifted me throughout this video. Once again, thank you so much.
No exactly an ex, coworker-situationship kind of thing, we did made up twice and had a long friendship. When I wanted more from her she said she isn't interested but wish I will stay as her friend for life. I told her we need to back off from each other and only stay on professional work business matters. She contacted me to tell me she misses me a lot but I told her again to respect it and give me space. I feel terrible that I said that to her, she got hurt and ignored me completely when I mer her physically at the office. I feel like I regret it even..
I really hope my relationship turns around. I miss her, I miss us. We've been together for 2 years. She needed space & time so I backed off completely & haven't reached out once. It's been almost 2 months & she came over 3 weeks ago like she missed me. She didn't pick up all her stuff & it's still here. I think about her all the time.
Thanks to you 2. He broke up 6 weeks ago...there have been some conflictual emails 10 days ago...since then strictly in no contact...yesterday was his birthday, I did NOT contact him. Am doing things for myself and I feel good but I have to admit I miss him...he is an avoidant I confirm...not easy.
Hi Craig and Victoria, could you please create a video on how to manage circumstances when a DA man monkey branches? How to recover, what to maybe expect. Nothing has ever hurt me like this situation, after an 18 month relationship.
I started watching this channel 2 years ago, we were 10 years together, I did the workbooks. I did not make any major mistake, I let her contact me and we met a couple of times however she started dating a new dude and they are now together 1.5+ years. Maybe I am one of the rare cases where this advice don't work. I tried to date other girls but I only experienced rejection so far. I spent 2 years "working on myself" but nothing worked, I am happy with my life now but I am extremely lonely, my ex never came back and other girls are not interested. I don't see my situation changing anytime soon.
A couple of things you said and here it doesn’t make any sense. You said that you’re happy with your life right now but you’re extremely lonely. That doesn’t sound very happy to me. The term “working on myself” can be very subjective. What did you do to work on yourself? It sounds like your ex lost attraction for you and you gave up
Been 3 months since my dismissive avoidant ex left me. They move on real quick and I'm left traumatised and a distant memory to her. I did no contact by the book.
@SurajMishra-wg9rx it's been 10 months now. I finally reached out after 5 months. She was polite and kind but no intention of getting back, only said would be nice to be friends. We have not spoken since. She said she was still single at that time. I know that suits her to have multiple FWB even though she wants a long term relationship her avoidant will always come out in her. I've finally healed and am much better now, happy, single and will find someone when I'm ready again.
Trust the process! Stay in NCR. She texted me last friday after 60 days of no contact. She wanted to talk and ask for a closure. Lol! I don't get it. She initiated the break up not me and now she is asking for a closure. Well maybe she just wanted to see me. 😅
Great video! I went no contact 3 months now and I noticed my photos are still on her social media. These are photos of both of us kissing and hugging. I’m trying to understand why my photos are still up.
I don't allow any ex to come back. They were an ex for a reason. I have made mistakes of letting exes come back in the past and they all at end up as exes at the end. It takes a lot for people to change and some people, just never will. 😬
we had a good relationship, her anxious attachment style put a wedge between us. She didnt think I gave her enough attention. Together 5-1/2 years and engaged. I did the begging and pleading at first, we tried talking things out but we didnt progress. I started no contact and I think it threw her off. She would go a week at a time then contact me, I would answer politely and to the point. This has been going on for a couple of months now, I finally asked her to get together and she agreed but ultimately backed out at the last minute. She blocked me recently however, our anniversary came and everything was unblocked..she either intended to contact me or see if I would contact her. Its been 4 months total apart, I think everything has been delayed due to us having so much contact with each other in the beginning. I am wearing down and about to throw in the towel though, my life has been on hold since the breakup. I care about her and want to spend my life with her, she blames me for the breakup but the reality is her attachment style didnt help and that needs to be addressed as well. And yes she asked about the cat a couple of times.
My ex dissmissive avoidant broke up with me and I was in no contact. I opened thr door and he reached out. I saw him a couple of weeks ago. I think i messed it up. Thanks for this information.
I just went on and blocked them for good. Can’t wonder about someone when you know they can’t call. I was tired of the merry go round. If a person doesn’t want me, I simply remove myself…permanently. I wish it were different. I still absolutely love him from the top of his head to the sole of his feet but he doesn’t want what I want 🤷🏾♀️. This ain’t my first heartbreak. It will hurt but eventually, the pain will lessen and I’ll forget about him eventually. Give yourself some time and some grace. I say block them. I know the coaches don’t advise this, but it’s an easier way to lessen the anxiety of waking up everyday looking for a phone call or text. Just grit your teeth and rip off the bandaid.
Thanks for this GREAT video that give me guidance.....I walked out on the 25th March 2023 after my fiance said he cannot be with me any more.....during the 1st 3weeks he contact me about 3 cd's that he missing.....after I expalined to him in a email.....that I do not have it.....I am not making contact again....Its hard.....but I also contact the pastor and is having appointments with the pastor .....I also started to excercise........But yes today it is a month after I moved out......😔💔
In my situation I went to spend 6 days with him. The last evening I asked when could I see him again and he lectured me about “he wasn’t trying to have a relationship with me” He spent 3 years FaceTiming me, calling me, texting me, sexting me etc. so I came home hurt and he pleaded me this was a catastrophic misunderstanding, that he was harsh with my feelings and it was killing him, nothing had to change, we could still have more experiences. He asked “why does it have to be all or nothing?” So I stayed in contact only to be continuously distanced. Over the last 6 months anytime I asked about seeing him again he would yell and rage. He’d say if you just stop talking about it, things could change. . Now he says all the things he said about nothing had to change are moot and irrelevant. What does someone do in this kind of situation? He recently told me I have always been an option and that I’m not good enough for him. I told him If I’m not good enough for him then please remove me from all forms of contact…which he hasn’t done. I would never say something like that to someone. Last I checked he isn’t living in a palace! He’s told me he’s emotionally damaged, and many other things I could mention but I’m not good enough for him???I feel like I’m an example of why you don’t let them convince you to stay in their life after they hurt you because they will just string you along, by giving vague responses to any questions you ask especially if you want a positive outcome. They want you to be uncertain so they can keep beating you down and later tell you you’re overly sensitive or excessive. “The more want it to happen, the less I’m willing to do it” is a typical response you will get.
I am literally in the same situation. The same bullshit about why does it have to be all or nothing? Our friendship is too precious to lose, you're my soulmate but I just can't be in a relationship with you. It's like he's trying to convince me that I'm the most important thing to him and that's why he doesn't want to relegate me to a role as normie as "girlfriend" I'm so sick of this shit and i wish I could go no contact but I'm in this horrible situation where I have to be in contact for business purposes for the next two months. And all this while he's sending me memes and trying to come up with an endearment to replace"baby" that adequately captures his idea of what we are to each other. I can't wait until July so I never have to talk to this clown again.
The reason it has to be all or nothing is because that's what you want. Your wants and needs and your mental health are just as important as what he wants. I fell into the same trap of ignoring my needs to make him comfortable but fuck that. I have a vision for what my life and relationship should look like and I don't need to compromise on that.
@@ladybird452 yes I was told something like, “I’m trying to get us to better.” I never understood what that meant while downgrading me at the same time. Then when I tried to get clarity he’s like “you’re maddening with all the questions! I don’t trembler anything I say when I’m drinking at 1am.” I’m just heartbroken by all of it.
Seems like my wife and I go through this every five years. I used no contact last time and it worked but can it work again? We still love each other very much but she feels like we are just growing apart. I totally respect her but I just feel this can be easily worked through.
I miss my ex boyfriend we werent together long (4 mnths) but i felt emotionally safe with him and miss that connrction. He didnt feel the same way and left because he no longer believed i was 'the one', it hurts that he left just when the relationship needed commitment and vulnerability on his part. He failed to heal from his previous breakup and brought his baggage and doubts onto us. Its day 1 NC and he's pretty stubborn about things once his mind is made up thats it. I hope he reaches out in time, it was all his stuff to be dealt with and he knows that.
If living together that can be tough in that situation of space..but it can be worked..sadly i didn’t realize it till after the fact..since didn’t know about these Attachment issues being a thing until after the breakup.hopefully if there is a restart the. We can better be equipped with communication and boundaries..
I agreed to be friends at first... Then after a while it hurt too much and told her that we need space and time apart and she said ok guess I'll never hear from you again. I told her I love her and if she wants to try again later on when she heals to give me a text or call.... Hope I did the right thing...
I would like to see NC video on breakup caused by cheating . Do cheaters go through same stages ? How does distance help with a cheater? Is Once a cheater always a cheater ?
My ex cheated on me too. I made the mistake of forgiving them and taking them back. A few months later, they cheated on me again. Cheaters can't be trusted. They have a character flaw that can't be fixed.
Can you do a video about when you work with your ex’s immediate family member? That’s my situation, and I’m not sure what the best way is to handle it.
Married almost 3 years been separated for a damn month I went off social media didn’t text unless she text me ask stupid ass question before she text me I went 19 days no contact but haven’t had contact with her since a week ago she is heart less she doesn’t miss or love me like wth is all this for like a rock in a hard place
I'm finding it hard after a break up after 20 years , I really love her and want to spend life with her and I know distance will create a better situation for me , but there are children involved and I've never missed a day in their lifes but I really wanna create that distance, I just don't know how to be there for my kids and creating enough distance for my ex to miss me. I need advice
the question is how much distance? how much space to give and when to realize that they are not coming back? No contact is for yourself and if u are hoping working on yourself during this time will have a better chance for them to come back u are lying to yourself. u cant read their mind and if they wanna come back they will but most often than not they wont
Split 10th December got a date valentines night yippee I did no contact unless she contacted me 6 year relationship Thanks graig with all your help over these dreadful times Worst time of my life
Hello community of broken heart people hello coach. I am in a three weeks no contact. She went back to her ex. On Friday I was with a friend and I saw her. We stood in front of each other without speaking any words, them I left. I wasn't able to fake anything I just freeze, so her. I don't know what to think. Thank you
@@assedio3631 I’m afraid you was the rebound! Move on mate because you’ve got no chance with 10 years of history. Get back out there, you’ll soon chalk the 8 weeks up to experience!
Ok I may never get a response but I gotta try, right? Does this apply to short term dating situations aswell? All these videos seem to be aimed at those who were in long term relationships. For example, I was dating someone for 6 weeks but we connected strongly and spent a lot of time together. She broke up with me just over a month ago but I did develop strong feelings for her. I've been in no contact ever since and never once begged her or anything like that, I just told her get in touch with me if she ever wants to connect. But do these no contact rules and principals apply to me and others in a similar situation? There doesn't seem to be any advice out there for us and it feels like we are being left out. Great video as always coach and Victoria. 👏
2 weeks into no contact since the breakup, but we share the same friend group and my closest friend (sister in law) and my ex have started talking and hanging out again. How do I handle the friend group situation while in no contact
Just mirror her communication and stance on things. If she starts conversations reciprocate the energy. If she tells you she’s missing you, play it cool. Let her do the work but don’t play it like you not bothered because she’ll never reach out. You actually in a good position too start the rebuilding
@@remyd1984 I’m actually like ostracized from the whole friend group at the moment, haven’t got any invites or anyone came to talk to me catching up how I’m doing, nothing from my ex or anyone else from social media, but yet my ex was being dramatic in wanting to talk to my best friend (sister in law) and rekindled their friendship on their end
i dont want her back i tried for 4 years but see all the mistakes. If she loved me or cared she would of came back or stayed when i we were talking but new guy has her attention she can have her fuck the last 10 years because she NEVER loved me or cared if they do love you YOU find a way to fix it period
Question: What would avoidantly attached people have done about 50 years ago when marriage was the norm? Just live an unhappy life with a distant partner? Were these the people who cheated more often or who would run away from home?
i am very much single dude fallen inlove to a woman with kids, accepts and love her with all my heart, i understand that her time is focused with her kids and i strongly believed that it is the right thing to do and its alright with me. she has been into 2 separate toxic relationship and i think weve fallin inlove to each other in a wrong time because of the trauma shes in. one day i feel like shes being cold to me so i ask her in a good manner, she told me that she wants me to be happy with someone else not her because of her current situation.. i know how much i love her so i respect her decision. i politely say goodbye and i ddin't beg or ask to stay even if wanted to, i care for her wellbeing than mine. to this day i ask myself what have i done wrong. i blocked her socmed and no matter how much i want to contact her and tell how much i miss her i decided not to. i will give her space and hoping oneday she will reachout to me and im willing to give it a second chance.
He hasnt come back and it has been over 2 months :( i would do anything to make things right again but i wont try. I could not risk failing and starting all over again with no contact.
Avoidants need to work on themselves then. Everyone else does not need to walk on eggshells because they are messed up. They do not deserve love or any kind of relationship or affection until they understand that they hurt people and stop doing that. Don’t date an avoidant. Get someone better
I had to give my girl distance because I kept catching her in lies I also did the no contact thing as well . I left the relationship because I felt like I couldn’t trust her . Now I can be honest with you I find myself missing her here and there Is this normal ? It’s going on a month with no communication .
I really like what coach Victoria bring to the channel but she looks too much like my ex who's also Italian, unfortunately my ex only had her looks and not her relationship skills...
I need this off my chest, me and my ex have had a lot of ups and downs and split up so much my frieds dont want to know anymore. We have the most intense sex lofe either of us ever had. Loved being together most times, even liked the smell of each other lol. But after i lost my job, lost my friend and then my cousin, almost lost my home, then my car had an expensive problem, she then left me just before Christmas, she came back one night and then turned super cold. To the point she said shes moved on a few days later! It has almost killed me! She said i couldnt leave her alone, I dont get why, but i will not let her destroy me!
I did not contact him for a month then when I contacted him asking for the apartment .. not even asking hm to come back to me.. but he still act so cold and doesn’t even care.. what should I do.. can anyone help me
What about someone with bpd?. My ex told me she has bpd but I didn't know anything about it. We dated for 5 months roughly. We were expressing our feelings talks of love and all that jazz. Everyone was happy then we talked on the phone said our I love you I miss you making plans for the next weekend. Then not even 24 hours later it was over. We haven't talked since which was like a month ago.
I messed up yesterday I broke the contact and did impulsively texting cause I was hurt.. so I’m sure he’ll never reach out to me now.. although he was the cause of our breakup
But I told him that I don't wanna keep in touch. So how to undo this now? I thought I shouldn't be in touch during no contact. He was reaching out I blocked him and he emailed me to unblock him. So how can I undo this so he knows he can reach out.
Thanks there but my ex has already in relationship leading both of to married.how will it possible to come back while the last time she boasting about her new relationship
