You're quite right - absolute no contact is the only way to heal. Healing takes a long time and he will try to hoover you unless there is absolutely no way he can get in touch. And once he's back in touch, you will be back to square one. So do whatever it takes - move away if you have to. Just don't put yourself back in a position to get hurt again, because he WILL hurt you.
You are right Ben! I tried the nice no block and he kept trying to hoover me every two months. I'm really strong, I NEVER answered! but I want him to give up, so now is BLOCKED from everywhere! There's no other way! Hopefully this time he'll dissapear forever!
Great pond analogy - and the conditioning explanation is so true. 9:27 - "When you leave the door open all he does is continue to knock.." 10:38 - "breaking the cycle is essential and has to happen, and if we do not break it by going no contact/blocking, then he knows he can still get in your life, he can still trigger you, he can still mess with you/affect you over and over.."
It's nice to help people escape narcisstic abuse. No contact is essential. I just blocked a toxic contact yesterday. Otherwise you can't heal, or, they come back later and tear all that progress apart. This happend to me a few times with several people and mostly my parents. I often did heal, but I didn't know what narcissm was, and my psych didnt discuss my home situation, just my work. But now everything is open and im healing properly after 6 mental breakdowns over the last twenty years. They were severe, on a level that I cannot describe. Distance and escape from mental sewage are 100% essential.
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So true! He wrote me to my name day ( in Hungary we celebrate the name as well), so he wrote me and I answered, thanks. But I know, he wrote just to see if I blocked him.
9:36... and that's the part people really need to understand. You are misleading yourself if you think you're strong enough. Mr. Ben Taylor is absolutely right. Trust me, been there done that and failed miserably. I was forced to do the reverse discard.
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That just depends on you and your situation. I do not block them because I enjoy knowing I am ignoring the once a year “hey how are you.” Also, consider if you’re being harassed by someone - wouldn’t you wanna take screenshots of that and potentially consider a restraining order? You don’t know if someone’s threatening you if you can’t see their text messages! But again, highly depends on you and your situation.
I found blocking counter-productive because she randomly showed up at my house when I was least prepared. Luckily I recorded the whole thing for harassment purposes should she try it again. But no, I found letting her keep sending chaotic rant after random threat after cute begging stuff just easily proves me point should it ever come to court. She's proven to me that she's not just a Narc, she's totally insane.
YES!! My ex has been blocked over 12 mnths now on 2 accounts but his got a 3rd account which his blocked me on & I think his been sending me friend requests through fake profiles & also sending me messages through spam well I don't respond to them & I just delete them cause I know his just trying to get an reaction from me. It was hard at first blocking him but as time has gone by it's cleared up my mind more to think back on how he treated me. I did hear from him 3 months ago asking how I am well I ignored it.
But what if they only contact you very occasionally a couple times a year and only act nice when they do ? Is it because they’ve worked on themselves or is it fake and a setup He was a nightmare at one time now he’s pleasant and doesn’t bothers me
I was in a similar situation. Don’t fall for it. Block. It’s better to block and keep them blocked. You kill the hope, they can’t get in your head anymore, and you can focus your attention on you and finally move on. In my personal experience, I wasn’t fully able to move on, heal, until I did this. It hurts, but you need to think of it this way: this is the last time this person will hurt me. (Advice for people who don’t share kids with a narc. If you have kids, maybe see what experts say).
@@MissJJoan I am fortunate to have gotten completely over him and broke the bond that had such a tight grasp on me before he started coming back around and being nice I can honestly say he’s just a part of the general public now I don’t even have 1 ounce of feeling for him nor will I ever
Blocking will don’t do anything. You have to reach the point where you do not want them in your life at all and nothing to do with them. You do not need to block. Just ignore them. All is lie. This person does not exist. It is a trap. Life your life like their never existed since this is really the case.. they are con artist but nothing is real. 120% of their words are lies.
