No contact is for you not your ex,he is your ex for a reason so don't worry about who he is with,God gave you a escape out of a toxic relationship so move forward.
I got back with my ex after a 4 year split our original relationship lasted three years she was in a relationship for one year after we split whilst I played the field we both grew and rekindled we been back together 10 years now and engaged for two years so I guess every case is unique 🤷♂️
I hate to agree but I do. She sees me everyday yet she goes and gives what we had shared with another man. Even if she denies sleeping with him I couldn't believe her.
Is better when they come back without getting into any form of relationship . Gonna be hard to take them back knowing they've been with someone else and you didn't
It’s really a prisoner dilemma type of dynamic, I feel like if both the dumper and dumpee dated other people during the break up then depending on why that rebound don’t work out then maybe it can lead to an authentic rekindling but it depends.
Usually if you have gone no contact, you are going to level up while they are away and see your worth. They won't be worth your time once you have had time to heal. They can stay over there with that whatever they have.... Bless you!
maaan i love your comment. I had been dumped hard after 3.5 years she just moved out today. I'm gonna go full beast mode and get in such shape and improve on so many levels that my game will be on an entire level. Us men we know what time is - it's an investment. Consistency+time = win.
Why would you take them back. The minute they get curious of what’s in the other side is a major red flag. They come back and make them feel what they deserve. Block her out.
If I’m building myself up to be a Top G and she tries to come back to me after being with another dude didn’t work out, I’m gonna tell her, “You leaving me was the trash throwing itself out. Now stay out.”
I’ve been in NC for just shy of 2.5 months. I’ve had ups & downs. Good days and bad days. Physically, I’m in the best shape of my life. I’ve dropped 4 inches off my waist & now I’m running sub 30 minute 10km’s & sub 15 minute 5km’s on the treadmill. I’ve been rebuilding my old friendships & even making new ones. I’ve got a regular schedule with my hairdresser, having never had a haircut whilst I was in my relationship. She has never reached out to me & I don’t expect she ever will. But she’s never going to see the best version of me. So sometimes some things are better left in the past. NC is about self improvement. It’s about making yourself unstoppable. Being dumped turns you into a version of you that can achieve anything. There’s no greater pain than being dumped so nothing else will ever hurt you as much. Use that pain as fuel and energy.
Good for you, I don't know you, but I'm so proud of you, I wish one day I'm as strong as you, I been in no contact one month now, I broke up with him because he lie and cheat on me with his ex girlfriend for the entire time we've dating, I gave him a chance, but he still continue with her, and she's a married woman, we been dating for 13 years, he was shocked when I broke up with him, so far its been 1 month now he's hasn't try to contact me yet, it's been hard for me, but I won't go back to him. I deserve better.
Spencer Once your heart has been broken. You are so right that type of pain you will almost never feel again. People don’t validate us. Continue to work on yourself. Trust me you will hear from her and you will never look at her the same. Stay strong and encouraged!!
@Jennifer Yates thanks so much, I'm not going to waste any more of my time, I forgive and move forward, and won't looks back, he's the worst of all my relationship in the past, he's 62 and acts like 25, he lie about everything, and cheating on me for so many years, he doesn't exist to me,.
My ex broke up with me in February after 3 years we stayed in contract until August and decided to try to fix things, when i asked her if she was talking to someone else she said someone messaged her and she didn't say anything since she didn't know where it would go. I told her if she wants to entertain someone else we can't work on us. She texted me that she wanted to heal before she reached out. One month of no contact i reached out and she said she was pursuing a relationship with that person and apologized for the pain she caused. All i said was thank you for the response, i wish you well. Now I'm figuring out where im heading, i just got rid of all pictures, notes and other things. It's been rough but i know it'll be okay because i now go to church and working on bettering myself.
@@User-ji4rn we spoke once since this comment (on my bday) and that was it. I've continued to improve myself at work, got a nice salary increase as well as perks with my promotion. I'm slowly making myself more available to dating but I know what I want so I've walked away from a couple of options.
I hope my ex doesn't ever miss me. He was a narcissist, manipulator, and devil child!! There is no bridge that he can cross back over to me. He can't ask me for sugar honey ice tea!! If I wasn't good enough for you then I'm not good enough for you now!! I even got my number changed, not again!!
Great insight! I like it when you said the ex's new partner has a "common enemy". This has nothing to do with love. It's all about ego and competition.
That's honestly the harsh truth. In the back of their head they knew they had an emotional attachment to you and would eventually return once they had their fun getting run through by new guys to "find themselves." Once they get thrown away though, and the s isn't enough they crawl back to you because they feel used and alone.
All dating has become is who can manipulate who, sucks... mine just left deleted me on all socials except snap, but watches my stories and comments on my post don't get it
Thank you so much!! However-lord knows I would be appreciative to book.. however, financially not able! Keep you in PRAYER to continue on your JOURNEY 🙏🏾✝️
This is your best video I’ve seen so far! Especially the last half of it. Talking about the 3 to 6 months time period of the rebound. I’m on day #100 of NC. My ex reached out after 60 days and asked “care to chat?” while we both were on a dating app, yes, while he was in his new rebound relationship. The next day, I replied that I was about to go out of town, and I said I would be willing if he wanted to text me, and that I wished him all the best. That was the only time we communicated and that was a month ago.
… and since he was on dating apps as well while in our relationship, that makes our whole relationship a complete lie. Why take back a liar. Once a cheater, always a cheater, and once an ex, always an ex.
It is and my kid is 19. And we have been together 23 years and I’m only 43. But she has cheated before took her back for my son. Because I grew up without my father. I’m not looking back she gone!!!
Thanks Coach blac. It was exactly 6 months of the break up and 1 month after no contact. The reached out. Haha now that I am extremely busy with so many things.
Rebounds don't last unfortunately. You two won't probably make it long term even if the ex was gone. Value yourself more. Be with someone who isn't using you as a void filler.
Took me almost 5 months to go no contact (we were living in the same apartment), moved out and straight went and moved in with new girlfriend. So yeah, staying in contact is no good because it hurts more and makes healing and moving on harder. But it is always a good time to start prioritizing yourself and going no contact for your rebuilding.
Wow thank you! I dated this guy for almost a year. It was good but confusing to me because he believed that in order for a relationship to last we should not text daily and be spontaneous and don't make a lot of plans to see each other. I believe all of the opposite, so one night he just stopped talking to me and I was waiting. It's been 4 months since and I was heartbroken. 1 day ago I saw him with somebody else and he looked so embarrassed and couldn't look at me in the eyes. I'm hurt, and it's like the wound is bleeding for the second time. I never reached out to him since he ghosted me like a trash and after seeing him I have more reason to no contac him. Not sure if he will reach out,but thanks for the video, it gives me strength.
I was in the similar boat with you. Then I watch a yt tarot reading, and she suggested to wear my "rose colored glasses". Strange advice, but after I wear my rose colored glasses, strangely I started to heal. All his cruel efforts to hurt me won't work anymore. Now I don't think about him anymore. Oh well, maybe a little bit. But I don't care about him. I see him in negative spotlight.
This video was great u could've kept on going. Now my question is HOW DO WE ACCESS THE EX HONESTLY & figure out if they're truly a good enuff match? What's the process for that? Thank you, great video👍
Coach blac thanks for this video 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 I have one question do no contact work if we been broken up for 2 years? I recently cut my ex boyfriend off in may and haven’t talked or texed since
2 weeks and couple days later she texted me how I was doing and how she regretted walking out and I see the change in her but is gone take time for me to see in my eyes instead of words and she been making more eye contact and more communication 🙏thank you bro for helpin me thru this
He's in a whole relationship. She's was waiting. I gave him what he wanted. Which was out of the relationship with me. I walked away. I wish him nothing but the best
Can you make a video about a married couple where the spouse had an affair that was ruined and then jumps into a rebound and leaves husband and kids…how to respond when they reach out and that nature…I believe you’re the best on RU-vid doing this I’ve watched them all and I’m curious on your perspective
I named Coach Lee, G.O.A.T Lee. The advice ya'll give is so similar, if not identical. I think we got a G.O.A.T Blac in the house! If ya'll are thinking of contacting them, stop and imagine the disappointment when you don't hear shit back from them. STOP losing the battle. Hold yourself as the prize kings and queens. We're the ones doing the work while they run from reality.
I need help with stopping those dumb ride bys that I do......I'm pathetic....I'm looking for answers that I already know of...knowing damn well if I see her with the other guy or the other guy's car in her driveway, it'll destroy me further...I mean shit hell, she already took him her family's easter gathering...
@@babyluvjr My best advice would be to start holding yourself as someone who is worthy and deserving of more than what you received. I totally understand where you are coming from because I've been through it, but over time you'll stop putting them on a pedestal and realize YOU deserve someone who doesn't do that sort of shit to you. True love doesn't run, it fights. You deserve someone who is willing to fight for you. You deserve someone who doesn't lose your trust. Also I know this might sound harsh, but you could flip the switch/coin and say "yeah, that dudes got my sloppy seconds, now it's his problem, cuz she's got problems." I guarantee you man, stop doing the drive by's. Stop stalking social media, stop the pedestal, focus on YOU and the women will too.
Yes it does....it took 2 months but he started calling and would come by with questions and ridiculous statements. Once he actually said " my mom asks about you all the time, how come"? I dont give him the time of day. I actually changed my number and moved.
Man.. Coach Blac, this is the best Video ever. You've described it precisely. At this moment, this is exactly what I am dealing with. He recently reached out after 7 Months, and we've been casually Talking and even hung out. They've been arguing. He told me they broke up, which was only a short amount of time. Now he's decided to go back to her, but is still asking for my Friendship? What's going on here? I do have a feeling the Relationship is going to fail.
Trust me, he doesn’t want you. If he did he wouldn’t have gone back to her. He used you because he was sad & lonely. Don’t fall for it, your an option to him, nothing more. Close that door & lock it forever.
My ex wont come back :( it's been several years. Shes with a guy who doesnt have a job and lives with his mom and dad. Were 28, shes 26. I have worked so much on myself for hopefully getting back together. Have a full time job, own car, and my own apartment. We broke up cuz we were young and i grew up in a coddled house hold. I had to completely seperate myself from my family to learn life experiences so i could grow properly. It was a while ago but ive been dedicated to her this whole time. I would have reached out sooner but the covid lockdowns set me back a bit. Im on track now though. Im afraid im gonna lose her :( we both lost our v cards ro eachother and that is very sentimental to me
This hurts me alot. I broke up with my ex who I loved, our birthdays were on the same day, I sat at home waiting for him to take me out. He ditched me on new years, and screwed up valentines day. I had gotten him something nice on these important days. I could see that his lack of action meant that he didnt value me at all. He would try to radomly come to my home, but he said he couldnt sleep over because he had to take care of his sister who was loosing her vision, but the problem with that is, I would catch him in the neibhorhood at different stores early in the morning, he would say my home is too far from his sister and thats why he couldnt sleep over but why am I seeing you at the store near my house the next morning? He never cared for his physical appearance around me, but cleaned up his beard and mustsche to go out. I was hurting, he would say that he loved me with words and no action. I had to break up with him. Holding onto him was like trying to catch a shadow and it has caused me alot of pain. It hurts because Im such a home body with social anxiety. I stopped calling him only for him to contact me, I told him that im not trying to be hurtful but we are breaking up, only for him to tell me that he has a new girlfriend and he doesnt care. Ripped my heart out frfr but I felt it in my heart tje whole time. Im hurting so much. Why would he need to call me to hurt me even more. Havent I suffered enough? I tried to be what he needed. He didnt value me. Other men try to talk to me. I have been told that im far from ugly by a few men, Why did he do this to me? He told me that Its my fault for ending things and all that I felt was in my head. Im hurting so much. So much and I cant stop with the crying on and off.
What I learnt is that you can be the most beautiful woman in the world and still be found as unattractive by the man you're giving all your attention to. You will have to cut all communication and protect yourself from getting hurt over and over again. Bonus of cutting all communication is that he will start seeing you as other men see you, which is beautiful. Go no contact, go on a date, don't try to make him jealous on purpose to get even, just disappear entirely. It will hurt but one day it will stop hurting. You dodged a bullet!
Hi girl I am so sorry to read that. Narcissistic people tend to destroy birthdays,Hollidays and especiallyValentines day. Actually they like to discard you on those occasions. He had this girlfriend al along and also the reason he was treating you like this is because you where getting the silence treatment whiteout knowing it. He did the reverse discard. Look this up please if he comes back send him to the moon. He will never love you even if you were J.Lo and this new girl is getting the same treatment just give it 3 months 😘
I don't know you, and you don't know me but l love you sister stay strong the energy you put into being sad, depressed, loney and heartbroken - changed it to putting that amount of energy into you ❤ Sharing the love as it conquers all
So I have children with my ex one biological and three stepchildren that I raised. How do I go no contact or is there a certain level? That’s what I’ve been struggling with
I see mine moving on to yet another love interest. She has many options rather than come back to me. She is extremely gregarious. I myself could never get past that she had sexual relations with another man.
That’s means no contact is way more easier plus it means she gotta be the ine to contact you since she stop all the other ways for you to contact her.?
My ex says she in love with her current bf but she says she's conflicted and confused. They've been together for about 8 months before she knew that I wanted her back (I broke up with her about 6 years ago and came back into the picture about 3 months ago.) I haven't spoken to her in about 2 weeks... Will be interesting to see what happens..
Trying to get some understanding here.. You said push them away when they contact you but then proceeded to say reassess them when their rebound relationship is over. How would I know if the relationship is over?
Thanks man for this video. I really needed it. We dated for 7 months, towards the end we got into multiple arguments,broke up and blocked each other. I've been struggling to get over my feelings for her, we don't talk and she's got a new partner but I'm hoping this no contact thing works..
Hi im in 2 months no contact with en ex whos been seeing someone new for 3 months (1 month after we split).. but 3 weeks ago she unblocked me and the following week starting viewing my stories on ig then she blocked me so i couldnt see that she had, but unblocked me then following day 😂 thats when it showed her in the activity feed, then the following day she blocked me again? Any idea of what thats about? So weird .. im not reaching out regardless.
