Don’t Force Marital Intimacy | Costi Hinn 

My wife and I have been nearly 13 years and intimacy had become a problem for us (along with other issues in our marriage) but thanks to God, we have completely revolutionized our marriage relationship in all areas. How did we do this? We learned how to communicate better. And we pray together every day. We are intentional about our communication, including our physical intimacy. We talk freely about our sex life and it has broken down many barriers and we are both now extremely happy with our marriage intimacy now. For us it all started with starting an everyday prayer life and communicating.

"Don't rape your partner / Costi Hinn" Solid advice!

Thank you for covering this topic in this way and clarifying this passage!

Thank you. I have worked at a domestic violence shelter and have seen how abusive spouses misuse this passage.

Thank you for using the word “abuse.”

So often it seems like the one who is less eager is forced to do all the compromising in this situation, and rarely the other way around. This message is one that needs to be spread really thoroughly, especially in the “reformed” Church. Even in otherwise seemingly healthy relationships I see it happening that this passage is used to coerce one spouse into believing it’s sinful if they want a break from intimacy or just to engage less frequently.

THANK YOU for addressing such a needed topic! There were so many extremely toxic teachings that I came across through the years so I am so thankful to hear this, ESPECIALLY from a man in authority within the Church

Beautiful! Thank you, sir.

Fantastic explanation!

Thank you!

Well defined!!!

Thank you for sharing context and biblical perspective as I always wondered what it meant because the verse can be used inappropriately like many other verses if not studied exegetically

Great job, brother Costi 👍

Spot on Costi 💯

Very helpful brother, thank you.

So good! Amen brother!

Well said.

I think it is right to recognise from Paul's words here the fact that there is this concept of duty and self-giving in marriage and sex. And yet, it's also right to explain the importance of not threatening, not abusing power and also the reality that regular sex does not eradicate temptation to sexual sin. I don't think it's right to interpret this text as though the concept of duty or obligation is not there. There's a balance.

Nice!

Love this, I am just about to get married in a few weeks, and this is really helpful. Thanks =D

✅ good video

Behind any “force” would be an unwilling partner. Who is more guilty? What’s worse, a “forcing” or an unwilling partner? What if once a month or year is “forcing”? The problem is the language here. There isn’t a “forcing” vs non forcing partner. every other day of that month or year the unwilling spouse is “forcing” no sex.

I guess this video is for me. My loving husband of almost 24 years has withdrawn in this area with me. We decided that I would begin working for several good reasons including our children are 19 and 20 and he works from home permanently. He says he sees how tired I am (I’m a spec Ed teacher) and doesn’t want to bother me. But we are both in our mid forties so I don’t want this area of our marriage to die. It’s very important that we come together in this area. We are the best of friends and love each other deeply.

Forcing someone to have sex when they don’t want to is called r@pe. Period, end of story.

My husband deprived me of a sex life and any form of intimacy from the moment we were married

Thank you. My husband told me that I wasn't allowed to deprive him, as in say no to sleeping with him. He also constantly insulted me, refused to sign me up for health benefits, joked about killing our cat, ignored me for days on end, blamed me for everything, even things like him feeling upset, slammed doors, punched support beams, drank himself into liver damage in less than ten years, and used the Bible to try to force me to sleep with him. In the months before I fled, I couldn't even let him touch me, even though I thought it was my duty as a wife.

Yes alot of Wives are depriving their husbands of intimacy, but we will never mention that part of it

Please pray for my marriage

Personally I think this passage needs to be discussed equally as much in terms of fulfilling your obligation for sex, than as much as you all talk about how’s it’s misused to get sex. All I EVER hear is people talking about how men (and men only) abuse this passage in a way it was not meant. Excuse me, but it goes the other way too. There’s times when my wife and I have no intimacy for 3 months. 3 months! And even then it’s only because I have to finally pop a blue pill and try to talk myself into initiating it AGAIN, like I have to do every single time for the last 10 years. Once every 3 or 4 months is absolutely unacceptable for a married couple, and I don’t want to hear anyone saying that they go longer so I should feel lucky…it doesn’t change anything and my situation is still literally unacceptable. To be completely denied sex is a horrible thing for a man that has struggled with porn addiction in the past. Thank God he keeps me from going back into it, but I shouldn’t have to get the darn urges and then get feelings of bitterness toward my wife just because she never feels like it and has NEVER initiated anything on her own. You think this passage applies to my situation too??? Or do we just need to keep talking about how (men only) abuse this verse? This passage is also there to protect and defend men like me in situations like this. People think that the temptation is only sexual in nature…”oh so one don’t cheat or look at porn.” But you have to realize that it causes sin in the denied spouse developing bitterness and resentment. Not to mention, jealousy toward others who are getting it, covetousness toward others that you know have spouses that regularly satisfy them, and lust. Let’s also talk about what this passage does mean too, because I’m getting tired of only ever seeing it talked about to shame men that use supposedly use it wrong…. When in reality, many of those times is probably because they’re so frustrated because they get denied intimacy constantly.

Sadly Christ church Moscow (Doug Wilson) promotes forcing marital intimacy

The important question is why would your spouse refuse you? Is it because they harbor bitterness? Or they’re just tired? What if you see them climbing Everest for the wellbeing of their children/career, but you get a dog bone thrown at you?

Unfortunately if you’re in a relationship with a woman that intentionally withholds intimacy and you even mention 1 Corinthians, this is the first thing you’ll be accused of. Most men are good men and they’re not trying to “force” anything on their spouse by reminding them the responsibilities they took a vow to uphold.

How many of the women who lose interest had premarital sex? I would bet the vast majority of.

Sounds like another great excuse sermon to the wives that don’t feel like having sex with their husband, but if he were to stop paying the bills or going out to work to provide based upon him not being in the mood, or if he were to commit adultery since you weren’t having sex with him , then that would be a problem, right ladies? I thought so lol

Denounce your uncle and his ways. He is a false prophet who misleads people who need Jesus. Use your channel to call him out.

Good job brother