Drug Dealer Simulator 

I make extremely entertaining videos. I had to make you laugh and if not my mom will send me back to africa

I'm your pill provider

Lamp oil, rope, drugs, you want it. It's yours my friend as long as you have enough dough

@@Dinotron-rs4lu NO YOU BEAT ME TO IT

Yes

Learn to type

@@nekosanestacado8661 I mean, you don't have to be rude.

@@nekosanestacado8661 Learn to shut up.

Now I want Mac ‘n’ cheese

I just did that lol

Your deserve top comment for this one.

such a good vine

“420 whatcha smokin'?”

mark where it is so i can get to it every time😫✋

It's not very realistic but the premise is similar to the real deal

He had the right to remain silent

nobody heard what happened

11:22 🚔

Truth 💯

Most of the big drug dealers I have known get more time for the tax evasion than the actual drug dealing.

You file taxes over your drug income? Good on you for being a good tax payer, thanks have a good day. You don't file taxes on your drug dealer income? LMAO 3 years in prison and also, this is how we found out you have drug income in the first place 🙃

@@paisleesheppard5629 yup, that sounds about right. I remember seeing a story from the mid 90s I believe it was where some state (Arizona I believe) was handing out licenses to sell marijuana. Your income had to be taxed and some other stuff. They thought it would be a deterrent and another way to stick it to pot dealers. What they didn't count on was pot dealers actually using it as a way to make their business legit. Crazy story, if I can find the video I'll post the link.

America pushes debt, not necessarily hating it if they get money out of it

Yea lmaooo 🤣🤣🤣 it was funny how he said kurwa

Yes!

Well most of the names in the intro are polish and also as a lithuanian that shit was funny

😊😊😅

nah withdrawing is fine just untaxed income going into the account

i knew a dealer like that... it was like he lost his mind he just walked around broad day crowded streets in manhattan saying "drugs drugs! got some weed!" and handed them out like he was selling concert tickets or something it was wild.

That's just called an open market

I would think it's friends joking

I'd be thinking it's a cop 😆

Go walk on Vegas strip get to a certain point you’ll pass the dudes who are audibly mentioning names of drugs or slang as you pass by

@@rengoku2786 Flagging you for spam.

I make entertaining vids just like mark . I bet 100% it’ll make u laugh. If not you can come to tell me

@@26mic24 nice

@@26mic24 joined 1 week ago, no subs, videos on channel aren't even yours, advertising in comment section, yeah.. seems legit

i was thinking that the second i saw the title

Teżżż, Boże kochany to jest przepiękne XD

WEŹ jak zauważyłam te wszystkie imiona na początku to ryczeć mi się chciało 🥹🥹🥹 ze szczęścia ofc

You know who else videos entertaining videos are also entertaining? Mine. Hundred percent u will die of laughter

Stop watching this Alex the movie is better

@Alex: The Movie @26 Mic ✌Convenient✌

Basically a shape-shifter

@@26mic24 bruh shuttup you just made a playlist called uploads and hid your sub count idk why people still do that

RIGHT like excuse me Mark how DARE you

is streamer simulator good aswell?

@@broodingsoap9469 It is extremely unpolished

@@ee3171 but is it good?

Whats funny is he said that exact thing when starting Bee simulator lol

game of life be like when u dont have family

HES A FATHER!

As he should

Wait Lixian is with child

@@ironslayergaming8384 Yeah he just became a father for not that long ago

@@piemeow9072 He became a father for not that long again 😂

underrated

😂🤣🤣thats so true

You were probably on drugs when you thought this

lmfao my dude, lmfao

@@Emanuele_Polisena naw, just something I heard in a video. Thought it was appropriate

hi how are you doing

@@alientm9249 me? im doing good how about u

@@alientm9249 And how about you?

I’m good. How bout u?

@@alientm9249 o” l

dad husband brother mark

What?

@@CoreyVonBloch It's a joke from their Raft playthrough

Dont tell cousin sister wade

THIS IS PERFECT

BroU know who else videos entertaining videos are also entertaining? Mine. Hundred percent u will die of laughter

thought this was drug dealing then dealer assiplier happened

@@26mic24 nah

@@26mic24 stop self promoting on other people videos

Sounds exactly like him

@Hunterkage Joestar got cocaine from jack years ago must have been how he was so energetic in his videos and it was for a cheap price left my wallet at home and he took a banana i snatched from the ground as payment

I guess you could say they have a need for speed.

*Badum tss*

Don't do drugs, kids! 😀👍🏾

No one cares

Your profile pic is my school chrome book background so I’m legally obligated to say it’s good XD

Trust me, those are rookie numbers relative to numbers I’ve come across in this game. Later down the line, you’re selling dozens of grams of heroin to people and ordering cocaine by the kilos

@@tornadospin9 wtf man 😂😂💀

@@tornadospin9 damn, this game is pretty realistic-

Cause Speed is Key!!!

He said preatty much. Obviously we all love and pray to PW sim every night.

@@fusion8092 that game is extremely underrated ;)

Robbery simulator wasn’t too bad either

I cant believe he done Swamp Simulator like that

yes

Reminds me of Raft and Mark's sister/wife/cousins Wade and Bob.

"I'm what a lot of people call a 'switch'."

@@2dheethbar 😧

@@thevelociraptorqueenway8596 (・⌓・)

That’s the attitude we like to see!

Tactical gadgets have been taking over the world I see.....

Definitely a top moment in the episode, for me XD

like bruh 😭🤣

"ok thanks daddymommywife" 🤣😂

Yeah, he's like the most polite drug dealer ever 😂

Could i intrest you in one weed please?

very true

@@omg_cat4203 why yes, I love the wacky tebaccy

@@mx_nana_banana 🤣haven't heard that in a while

Superb

Most agreeable

seems you count as one of his addicted customers

Markiplier: _gets busted easily because everyone wants his autograph on the baggies_ 😃

yes

its not pronounced that way?

help girl. girl girl help. help. how is it actually pronounced. girl- help girl. girl help

@@BowTieCrow It's pronounced a bit different actually

Helpful

this is pure meme material

*Breaking bad theme starts*

Certified hood classic

@@blu_nades EaThAn We NeEd To CoOk

LIXIAN IS A FATHER?

Lixian: Yeah, I can watch the baby His wife: what Markiplier video you editing? Lixian: his drug dealer simulator His wife: sounds good

@@vyxenmyxen5650 Wife: this is fine

You’ve said that in a different video too. Stop

I love it xD

Yes please!

Can you auctally post you playing it on your channel id watch it!

@@rovksshow7733 yo same profile picture

Yes

Agreed!

I make extremely entertaining videos. I had to make you laugh and if not my mom will send me back to africa

Ikr its so cute!

my mind cant understand why hes holding a baby

@CLaura He had a baby

Mark makes some of the most entertaining content on RU-vid with a doubt! We're always so happy to see that video notification since all his videos make our days better. He's a true inspiration and while we may only have a few thousand subs, we hope our videos can entertain on the scale his do one day. If you're reading this we hope you stay happy, healthy, and blessed!❤

Because. “SPEED IS KEY!!!”

Speed/amphetmines are literally what they give you for ADHD. Mark takes “Adderall”, which is a combination of levo-amphetamine and dextro-amphetamine. People who have ADHD can’t get high off it though, so it’s not like he’s using it recreationally.

@@user-qy3jq9kr1d he’s actually mentioned before how he’s replaced using it with exercise after trying it out and talking to his doctor, idk if he started back on it or not, just my 2 cents

@@user-qy3jq9kr1d Seriously, though, I take adderall daily for ADHD and I can't comprehend that people get high off of it. Like I understand that they do, just can't comprehend it. And they're people who are addicted to it, too, meanwhile I'll simply *forget* to take it in the morning.

@@user-qy3jq9kr1d it is true some contain adderal, however the most common ones are methylphenidate. lisdexamfetamine. dexamfetamine. atomoxetine. guanfacine. This is coming from someone with ADHD

Sour adult Jesus

Scooby dooby doo, where are you!

U know who else videos entertaining videos are also entertaining? Mine. Hundred percent u will die of laughter

Doobie doobie do ba doobie doobie do ba ~agent p~~

dealiplier for sure hooking up the drugs with the drugies i love streaming

We can only pray

Could always just deal drugs and play IRL

Yeah

I agree mark should do more of this

I agree

*MARKIPLIER IS G/-\RBAGE* *I M/-\KE BETTER UPL0ADS*

How does this already get for replies in like 27

*¢αη ι gєт 1 ѕυв вєƒσяє тσмσяяσω?* ⠀😢 ʕ•ﻌ/,,

I could

*MARKIPLIER IS G/-\RBAGE* *I M/-\KE BETTER UPL0ADS*

Congratulations you have been selected among three lucky winner's text me on....

how do you know that 👀

@@fukkthisnewupdate8882 cuz i was greedy and down bad. i was 16 at the time, i trapped for like a month but didnt get anywhere plus the risk wasnt worth it. now im a day trader, still learning the ropes.

WE WANT MORE SIMULATOR GAMES IN GENERAL!!!

I like your username

@@thecreepygoth same

@gtoss chddy he technically didnt do the drug tho

'911 what's your emergency?' "Yea someone came down to my weed farm and stole all my money"

Very true, that's why they get guns and start turf wars😅

"Hey, so I know making and selling drugs is illegal, but this other guy who also makes and sells drugs just stole from me. So he's being extra illegal and you should arrest him and not me."

Yeah this game is a watered down PG version of drug dealing but I think that’s kinda what makes it fun, in real life drugs are bad lolz

I dunno, man You're being kinda sus

NEVER HAPPENED! PEOPLE NEED TO STOP THE MORBIN TIME THING

@@weylincarpenter6870 no it happened.ur cappin

@@aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa0 gigachad never existed its just a ai created face gigachad isnt a rea person

@@weylincarpenter6870 Bro you're just jealous 💀 He is real, get over it nerd.

Dealius is one of the movies of all time

Especially when drugs are involved haha!

@@Karatekat314 That's how you get them to sleep through the night.

Does lixian have a kid now? Or is it just random? Sorry I haven't really been keeping up lol

@@treebean9804 yup

awww lixian has a kid? thats awesome

Now it exists even more forever 👍

@@birb6474 forever-er.

Don't forget, it was actually "I'm having a good time..... selling drugs....... and now that quote exists on the internet forever..." 😂 Couple of pauses where he really contemplated what he was saying and continued to say it anyway

You know who else videos entertaining videos are also entertaining? Mine. Hundred percent u will die of laughter

Yeah, he'd get caught so quick

Stop watching this Alex the movie is better

@@26mic24 Imagine spamming comment sections with ads

@@26mic24 stop

Underrated comment lol

@@elicassimir5878 I’m underrated too kuz You know who else videos entertaining videos are also entertaining? Mine. Hundred percent u will die of laughter

@@26mic24 lol

He did it so much he gained immunity to his own supply.

Ya man never test the merch

Yeah yeah, thats what they all say…

Press G to show disrespect

@@Indian0Lore press F to pay respects

haha

Don't get high on your own suply, is the saying that Mark was thinking about.

"hello would you like some drugs?"

Nice pfp

I thought the same thing!

Love this comment right on the money

Just grow them 4head

😂

Lmao

i jus wanna bi fest liek sanic man

Feng min

No one touch it, the likes are at 420

cant like due to the likes dude

He's right.

lmfao

He's got a point.

what does he mean by convenient

Lmao

Cookin up some delicious drugs~

Omg I cant unsee it now lol

He’s a chef and he cooks meth hes the markiplier!!!!!

THANK YOU idk why i couldn’t remember it 😂

Don't eat what you grow. Got it.

I literally just posted a comment about what you just said without even noticing what yours said my bad

@@Emily-nq1fy you’re welcome, I hate it when I can’t remember myself but love when the comments answer my own question😂

@@True_Wolff_gaming you good bro🤝

I want to know too

since when does lixian have a baby?

a lot of people have been talking about it, but yeah it's really sweet

@@someone-xx6qz he made a tweet about it, it’s a pretty recent change but Lixian is officially a father now

Aww he even has the same hairstyle

Mark listened to Frank's advice, that's for sure.

Oof

I read this as markiplier said "this is dope as hell"

Speed is indeed key

Thats the equivalent of.. "so I did a little bit of adjustments to my minecraft house"

@@asimkiyumi5914 "I did some mining off camera"

I think it would be funny if he did a voice over/mock himself as he plays the video of how he got "a little ahead".

I know what I must do Now! 😳🤑

Destroys the white van because it's evidence

Can't say I remember that in 2015...

rip van.

When did he say that there was a rumor that he was a crack dealer in LA?

PowerWash Simulator: *noises of absolute betrayal*

Every simulator game from 2021: sounds of pain and betrayal

Bee simulator: “They have all been fooled but me”

I WAS GOING TO ASK THATIS HE A DAD KNOW THAT I DONT KNOW OF.?????????????

I kinda hope it's not a permanent change

@@magicfibre I don't know my guy... you can't fetus deletus a baby once it's out you know...

@@xcookiehkinx4364 you can but like dealing drugs, a tad illegal

@@xcookiehkinx4364 can’t do it in the womb either, but it popped out yet?