Border Officer 

Today's lesson: don't get close to markiplier with a fork

“We’re too poor to have a clock” Me: Don't do it don’t do it don’t do it don’t do it “Just like my childhood all over again”

Mark faced everything in this game. But the thing that broke him?: "'I needed to be more energetic in the bed' NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I cant help but laugh at the fact that Mark was giggling over the woman in the club who was all gumby like- but proceeded to not notice the woman with a popcorn bag on her head-

I love how it’s “the thief stole your uncles bed” as though there is just one in the town and this just happens to people.

THE WAY THE GUARD SLOWLY WALKED IN, AND WALKED AWAY AND THEN JUST THE GUNSHOT MADE ME CRY LAUGHING OH MY GOD.

After that jumpscare, i think id rather stay as a virgin.

_"sound the alarm! HE'S GOT A FORK!!"_

Jesus christ the wife in bed gonna give me a heart attack wtf

I'm 5 minutes in and he's going everywhere but the border.

Mark: Lets a person with a c4 go but kills someone for having a fork

Boss: “You killed him for a fork?” Mark: “Yeah.....that was my bad.”

Doesn’t realize how to give papers back and just kills him for having not the right paperwork my god. 😂😂

Mark: *goes to store* Mark: “do you have any bombs?”

Mark: [Rejects paperwork] Citizen: [Right before he gets shot] "Wish I had rejected your mom. You would've never been born." At least he went out a savage.

Markiplier: the savage who killed a man because he had a fork.

"Uncle's bed is stolen?!" Doesn't realize he left the front door open, lol

"A little beer never hurt anyone" Says the man who could die if he drinks alchohol

Markiplier: “this is NOT a ripoff of papers please…” Also markiplier: “yeah I played that ripoff earlier this year”

“Save your money” Mark: *almost immediately wastes money on a shit stripclub*

Fork: •exists• Mark: *now this is an avengers level threat*

"i guess she had boobs too so that's nice" nice to hear Mark has his priorities in place

17:26 I actually got jump scared 🤣

Mark: “This is too close to home” Game: denying people entry to the country and bringing chocolate and cigarettes home to your wife who ignores you 😂

Just imagine the people's faces when they see a car out in the field and hearing "OH MY GOD!!!!!" lol

Mark's puzzled face as that officer slowly walks over to arrest the guy made me lose it

21:05 Man: Someone who finally does their job properly! 21:06 Mark: *struggles intensely to pick up entry permit and hand it to said man*

"You're depressed and you're dead" Bruh. One at a time game.

“The thief stole your uncle’s bed” So that’s why duolingo taught me how to say “this child stole my table” in Russian!

Mark: “papers please.” Me: hesitates for only a moment. Mark: “d e a t h.”

Random person: *Gets shot* Mark:"Holy sh-" *Queue in Reese's commercial*

26:00 it's too real Also this game: "You're uncles bed has been stolen by a thief

"Border officer" 5 minutes later Strip club with women wearing popcorn buckets.

“Just like my childhood all over again” -Markiplier, who’s apparently Russian

"you're depressed and you're dead" is gonna be the name of my autobiography

19:10 better cars physics than cyberpunk 2076

“Markiplier isn’t real” simulation games almost every day since he came back.

I feel like mark is the only person who would execute someone for owning a fork

Mark- singing cheerfully **gunshot in background** Mark- continues to cheerfully sing and go home Idk why but it was so funny to just hear that in the distance and him just be like "yeah"

Therapist: Soviet markiplier can’t hurt you he is only in one video Soviet markiplier: hello comrade

"We were too poor to have a clock" Mark: *Childhood Intensifies*

Man: Has fork Mark: And I took that personally

Nobody: Everybody in 2019:"God I wish this year would end already I hate this year." Everybody in 2020: 25:51

"im not going to be good on my first try but- wha- A THIEF STOLE MY UNCLES BED???"

Mark: "I didn't scan you!" Mark: "It's probably fine." *Woman has a bomb*

Mark: "Border Officer" Also Mark: *goes to the Strip Club*

17:20 YO WHAT IN THE ACTUAL GREASY DEV SHIT IS THAT??? 🤣🤣🤣

"I have happiness bar which is depressing because that means it can go down." Ironic

"this is a fork" "dear god..." "...there's more" "NO !"

Mark: this game hits too close to home Also Mark: shoots and kills 4 people

17:00 is horrifying

13:13 lol 😂 Mark freaking out over a fork.

Woman: *has C4* Mark: ... Man: *has fork* Mark: and I took that personally

Mark: “Just like my childhood all over again” Me: When you were so poor you couldn’t even afford 5 ovens

Guy: "Money means everything. You will *have* to learn to save money" Mark: "okay" *10 seconds later* Mark: Strip club! Alright I'll pay the fee! Oo I'll have a beer! Fiine I'll have a second!

8:13 my mom heard this and she almost choked on her spaghetti while laughing lol 😂

Mark: "Im dumb, im dumb" He says that after the fact when he does a double back flip with his car.

"Get ready to get sqooshed!" Deer: *honey, you've got a big storm comin*

Something surreal watching Mark end his shift so casually while someone is being executed.

3:00 the idea that Mark says "Not enough thuses" makes me think that he once looked at a contract and amusingly pointed out that there were a large amount of thuses within it.

Hero name: Son, His quirk: *Likes chocolate*

“It’s too real” Two seconds before: *not energetic enough*

"I have a happiness bar, which is depressing because that means it can go down" I'm 14 and this is deep

Guy: *has different person on his passport* Mark:"so you have chosen... death."

I love how since Mark didn’t know how to hand things to the first person, his solution was to kill them.

I died after the wife jump scare. She's coming for that snu-snu, and doesn't care if her mother watches apparently.

I don't think I've ever cried so much laughing. Finding out she had a bomb and then "it only costs me 5 bucks and I just got 5 bucks" 😂😂

Mark: I’m not going to shoot as many people. Also mark with bomb lady: nicely done

This is a horrible idea, Mark would just deny everyone entry.

Who ever this game designer is, we need more of their games.

Mark being utterly heartbroken over the fact that he didn't get laid by his wife will never not be funny

Mark is equivalent to a 8 year old child, examples are him saying "SKOOSH" or "OOOOOOOOOO" "Can I detect you? WEOWEOWEOWEOWEO"

Not only did Mark not satisfy his wife, he never realized he has to physically put food in the fridge and fuel in the stove so his family doesn't starve / freeze to death.

“I have a happiness bar. That’s depressing because that means it can go down.”

0:43 Mark: I have legs. Me who has legs: am I special?

9:50 Guy got the old yeller treatment

"Did I get money, why didn't I get money" Casually has 2 men shot and has a person go through border control with a bomb

Markiplier: I have a wife, thank you very much Also Mark 5 minutes ago: Hanging out at a strip club

Few things are more terrifying than Markiplier saying to your face "I could shoot you and it'd only cost me five bucks. And I just got 5 bucks."

Mark: YOU GOT A WEAPON! Russian man: ITS JUST A FORK MAN I NEED TO EAT!!!

"I'm wasting all my energy I'm going to give to my whiiiffffeeeee" ~Markiplier, 2021

"How was your first day, honey?" "Well, I had two people wrongfully executed, so...okay I guess?"

No Minding Me. Is Just My paarty Axe. 5:34

Starts game. First words: "I have a happiness bar. That's depressing." Same, Mark.

"I have a happiness bar which is depressing because that means it can go down." Markiplier 2021

The sequence of events leading up to that first guy's untimely death are HILARIOUS. This and the Streamer Simulator are GEMS

Marki : I'm wasting all my Energy that I'm going to give to my WIFE. Me: It's touch to my inner part. 6:49 ⭐Anyone can feel that way?

If anything this is like being a security guard still a fun job

Mark: "This game is too real".... Stops recording, gets in his car, goes to a rave, has someone executed for smuggling a fork..... NEXT!

9:05 My life as a child

7:25 scariest jump scare in gaming history

I'm a bit surprised he still wanted to get with his wife after that first time...

mark: doesn't get "sweet tender loving" from wife *literally stands up and screams*

At 14:06 did no one notice the flipped bus??

First day in the new job as a Border Control Agent: -Wastes his money on a strip-club, which he attends with an axe *twice* -Has a guy killed for non-matching picture -Has another guy killed for possessing a fork -Chases a deer with an axe -Gets jumpscared while making love with his wife -Fails to pay his rent -Family dies -Ends up depressed and dead This is why I love watching games played by Mark

Imagine if the guy at the DMV talked to you like this . "It would take me $5 to have you killed and I just got $5"

“Let’s meet in the night ;)” “She denies me...ok, whatever, it’s fine” Yeah, crippling debt and poverty *IS* a bit of a turn off XD

One of my favorite parts of any of his videos is watching him rave at the party, straight face, with animated sunglasses 🤣🤣🤣

i want to be that DJ, looks like he had life figured out

Markipiler: HE HAS A FORK ARREST HIM! Also mark: Wait forks aren't illegal, s***.