Nailed it! Pro tip if you love a 4 - ask them to make a list of gifts they want! May seem odd to take out the part of gift giving that's special, selecting the right gift, but as a 4, I'd so much rather get a gift I picked than get a gift that misses the mark.
yesss. as a 4 i like to show people i care by going out of my way to understand them because i dont feel understood myself. this presents as giving the benefit of the doubt, giving gifts attuned to them, and sometimes learning about their enneagram type and observing how it presents.
As a 4 this feels accurate overall. I do highly appreciate acts of service (if the words and time are solid) because it helps take mental things off my plate that can tend to feel overwhelming.
As a 4, my love language is indeed a tie between words of affirmation and quality time!! Personally, I don't really like receiving gifts , especially if there is not an important reason. I prefer acts of service, I don't think I have a problem with that.
i'm the same way! I don't ever know how I'm "supposed to act" when I receive a gift and ngl I get overwhelmed, I've almost broken down when receiving gifts sometimes from guilt
Maybe I'm negative but I do think repeating phrases like 'you are beautiful' doesn't really work. I don't like being reminded of how my physical features play a part in the relationship. I don't struggle with body positivity personally. Rather, I mean that I like to feel that I have earned the love and attention through my expressions: clothing, speaking, even offering advice.
I am a 4 and quality time is huge must for me. I feel without it, people will only scratch the surface of who I really am. Also, who they genuinely are without trying to wear a mask for society. I want to get vulnerable and I hope they will get vulnerable as well. For me, you are spot on about the gifts! I spend so much time looking at things waiting for the moment that a "material thing" transcends from a mere piece into a representation of myself. So when people give me things, I appreciate the thought but well as you said I can take it personally. 😅
I agree as a type 4w3 with words of affirmation and that getting gifts for us is kinda hard, but if it comes spontaneous, then it's easier to like it. Although, i like acts of service out of random but not everyday tbh. I'm an infj, though also, and so other 4s may have other perspectives.
I agree with quality time and words of affirmation, but for me personally, physical touch is also really important. I don't feel Acts of service would be a bad thing for me, just not really a love language. I agree that gifts are tricky. It's easy to screw up and get a 4 something that they find to be really generic and not special, which I think is at best, just going to give me a neutral feeling. But, If you do know me and you knock it out of the park with A thoughtful gift that I really appreciate, that will be very positively impactful.
Quality time, 1,000%. Words of affirmation are nice, but not one of my top love languages. Gifts are tricky, so I tend to try to give gifts in the form of food or drinks. It’s a nice way of showing I care without running the risk of giving someone something that’ll just sit around. I really appreciate gifts myself and cherish what people give me because I’m sentimental like that. But yeah.. sometimes people give things I wish they wouldn’t have. 😅
So, I personally think I’m a 9, but everyone around me says you are absolutely a four. I agree with about half of what you’re saying but the other half, no! Which keeps me on the fence believing I’m a four. I personally love all five love languages, like I crave all five of them almost equally… Possibly quality time the most but just a hair above the other four
Wow, what you said explains to me (4) why I feel slightly irritated and rejective to the kind *acts of service* from 2s and 6s. Unasked advice feels like an attack. *Gifts* are a wonderful option to make the other person feel special and appreciated while using my unique artistic gifts - and receiving vitally important *words of affirmation* for it. They are definetly the number one! :)
Before I knew I was a 4, my ex from about 12 years ago offered to buy me things for my birthday and I said I don't want anything, the time he spent with me was everything. I also agree with the wrong gift buying. My parents got me gifts many Christmases ago. I said thank you of course, but inside they completely missed the mark and it hurt me because it felt like they didn't know me (their first born child)
that acts of service one hit me home, like if someone like a 2 just dotes on me, first off I get off-put, like why are you helping me? and also suspicious and guilty (not necessarily offended). also what is your type? You seem to relate to all types and I'm curious
I only THINK I'm a four based off what I've heard from your videos. Most everything fits, and fits way better than the other enneagram numbers. I most def have acts of service as my love language. Perhaps it's where I'm at in life right now, but acts of service allow me to feel the most heard and appreciated. Also, maybe due to my father issues. My dad was very distant and unemotional, but what he did give to my family and still does, are acts of service.
Interesting... Have you watched this full video? And usually I tell people with this experience to watch the Type 9 video just to be sure. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-dkYR6b_hUMQ.html
