Enneagram type 4 | Subtypes | Sexual (SX) 

Me too. I’m getting better and better at negotiating those moments and speaking myself out of rejecting those I feel rejected by but so hard to practice. Glad others are on the journey with me 🙌🏼 Drew

Me too, I feel same too.

I got you! 👊🏼 Thanks for being on the ride

Thanks for the props Jasmine! It’s pretty cool to find some of my people out there. Hope you dig some of the future episodes as I hope to dig in deeper to the 4’s “deepest self” I’ve been slacking lately though 🤦‍♂️ Thanks again Drew

You know it!

Definitely! This has been my experience. Did you watch the episode I did on 4’s and 9’s in relationship to each other? If not, go watch, I think most of it will affirm your thoughts here. Drew

Ooooh! That’s good And right on!

I love that you named that energy! Thanks for sending me this Derek, it’s refreshing to know there’s others out there wrestling with similar complexities. Keep mapping your experience 👊🏼 Drew

This makes so much sense today. Thanks everyone 🤙🏼

Keep doing the great work! And I’m certain you’re helping so many people. This message makes the work I’m trying to do worth it my friend. Keep watching and keep digging Drew

Yeah Michelle, I’ve had those moments too. The need for control can possibly make them a bad fit long term for each other but the sense of being known by a fellow sojourner is for real. Thanks for the response and for getting it. Drew

This makes my heart full this morning 🙌🏼 I just accept that shame is my companion these days, that acceptance helps take its power away 😂 Thanks for watching and I’m gonna work on an episode today on the 4w3 so look for that in September Drew

This made me smile in all kinds of way. Thanks for the affirmation - And… So sorry for the delay. I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one. If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out Drew

I like that idea Mario! I’ve had some friends watch so they can get me better. I appreciate the kind words and also feel a bit understood as well in hearing your feedback. Thanks man, Drew

Love that it’s connecting with you Oda. That was my goal, to make us 4’s feel a bit more known to ourselves. I hope more of us dig it so we can move the world a bit together. Really appreciate you 👊🏼

I like him too, him and this girl IDK2.0 look her up I think you will like her too.

I hope you watched my RU-vid on sexual 4’s specifically? As a fellow SX4 I hope that one speaks to you. So you have a retreat center in NZ? I’m now following on Instagram and hope to get there someday 🙏🏼 Maybe we assemble some 4’s there 🤔 Hope you subscribed as I’m gonna keep at it for us 4’s. See you on the Instagram Drew

Wow! Thanks so much for watching and the feedback. Glad it hit the right notes BB. I hope the other enneagram 4 vids help too. But, again, your response keeps me inspired! Drew

I like that idea! I’ll try to get on that for 2022! Thanks for watching… and possibly listening soon Drew

Yesssssss!

Keep searching and wedging. For many it takes a lot of time. Just appreciate the journey if you can because so much is getting downloaded no matter what. From a fellow searcher I understand Drew

This is absolutely awesome! Thank you for sharing this. Kinda warms my heart. I’m sure you’ll continue to go down the rabbit hole and let me know what continues to happen Also, if you aren’t following along on instagram you might want to check it out @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy

Hey drew thanku for sharing your story.... btw what's your mbti type

I smell a few good couples therapy sessions coming 😉 Or just send him my way and I’ll make sure he gets it 😂 Love that you got something out of this, as a fellow SX4 I know how hard it can be. And seriously, if you need any help convincing him of your awesomeness give a shout. Hope you enjoy the other enneagram 4 stuff I posted, hope it keeps helping Drew

Good! We need more SX 4’s who are self-aware and get it. Now go be you with this tool and fuck the naysayers, they don’t get it. The world needs us. We are dynamic as hell. Unleash that part that’s good but held back I’m with you Drew

This description is on point ❤️

Get off that floor and live damnit 😂 Just kidding You’re very welcome and I see you. Hopefully others do too Drew

Oh hell yeah. That betrayal of body and big heart. I experienced this last night romantically and didn’t even know it till now. Hmmm, I have to go process.🤔 Drew

And btw music, music, music! Love this

So so sorry for the delay, some of these slipped past me, and I only get to them when I go back to see what I missed. Hope that you have jumped more into the Enneagram in the last six months. It is pretty fascinating isn’t it. thank you for watching and giving this whole new study a go with me as a part of it. Hope you are following my Instagram if you’re on it, @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy Thanks for being on board Drew

To be honest the shame of having that vindictive thought process is pretty gnarly. So lucky you for not having that. But, yes, definitely don’t over forgive 😉 I’d also try to tap in to the anger a bit, you may be suppressing it and so you are punishing yourself rather than targeting someone else There’s a balance and then a healthy anger emerges and finds its home in you Thanks for sharing Drew

Any response that starts with “Holy Moly” makes me think I’m on to something good. Stay shook Meg, it’s the best way to live 👊🏼 Drew

Here’s how I’ve solved that grieving problem. I just watch breaking bad over and over again… I think I’m on my 7th or 8th cycle. And, also, we have better call Saul. But yeah, I hear you. We are so drawn to great character development and writing and we just want to get all up in it. You are not alone!!! Drew

I also found this the most relatable. I think I’m a self preservation. But man, definitely a lot of these sexual 4 tendencies too. Especially the relationship to fictional characters and their fictional lives. I think I would save the main character in “Fleabag” (classic sexual 4) over most human beings if made to choose.

@@zerjiozerjio if you’re like me you have a strong dose of both SP & SX. We 4’s can really identify how all 3 subtypes are working within us because we have a keen access to our emotions and our experience of different fluctuations internally. It can be hard to pin down what’s leading and following Drew

Oh I don't where I found all this stuff (info/feelings/order/balance/epiphanies/arts) let me show you! Hahahaha This listen was better for me the second time around after spending necessary time in sp. I completely forget about my sx dark side. It was them it wasn't me (joke). Brilliant the second time around Drew.

Oh, it’s a dark one. That was college unrequited love for me right there. Tell him I relate

Damn. I’ll take that praise. I’m feeling the love 🙏🏼 Drew

I’ve been so behind on responding to RU-vid messages, my apologies 🙏🏼 I’m working on a book this year and fully immersed. I find there’s a lot of people jostling between a 4 & 6 trying to figure it out. Hope you’re getting closer and closer as you dig in If you’re interested in being on my mailing list drop your email on instagram @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy or drew@drewnewkirk.com hopefully I’ll continue to create some cool stuff to share

I’ve been so behind on responding to RU-vid messages, my apologies 🙏🏼 I’m working on a book this year and fully immersed. Glad this helped you not feel so crazy! 🙌🏼 If you’re interested in being on my mailing list drop your email on instagram @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy or drew@drewnewkirk.com hopefully I’ll continue to create some cool stuff to share

Sorry for the delay, I’ve been writing a book and hiding away in the Swiss Alps to do so, haven’t been keeping up. So I guess I’m all in my projects as you were mentioning. I guess the way it works for me, is that I’m constantly getting pushed back by trusted friends and family when I go to far and I’m too intense. But for the most part, I found ways to regulate it. But yes, I also lean into my self preserver and get away to recoup. Sometimes my energy feels like a lot even for myself when I’m out and with people and I doubt my like ability. So I need to go get restored, and find some faith in myself again. Just an aside, I’m leaving groups starting in a month that are around this idea of tapping into the best part of yourself. Just saying. Hope you’re following along on Instagram to, @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy

We have to be cautious and change our tone a bit so we can be heard better. Sometimes it’s very subtle tweaks and turns of language. Our aggressiveness can be off putting but when we are aware just slight changes and helping people understand us can be very powerful and helpful Drew

Music is so elusive sometimes. I relate to bands not sticking but I love when our palettes change a tiny bit over time. Yet, morrissey can be a tough sell at times. I recently started digging Stevie Nicks out of nowhere and was kinda surprised by myself 😂 Give a follow on Instagram Nicole, @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy - I want to hear how the music journey continues. Thanks for the inspiration Drew

Such good processing! Yeah. Hard pill to swallow for sure and I’m with you, so many moments of doubt that now make sense. It requires me to have compassion and empathy for folks who aren’t like me. I need them too otherwise I’d explode from too much passion. But, to your point, we might as well suffer for what we love and give it our all, the rest will sort itself out. We’ll grieve, experience depression and elation and success and failure…. And we’ll learn 🙌🏼 Drew

Hilarious. We are capable of some great darkness aren’t we? Drew

I’ve been so behind on responding to RU-vid messages, my apologies 🙏🏼 I’m working on a book this year and fully immersed. Glad this helped, and thanks for watching. If you’re interested in being on my mailing list drop your email on instagram @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy or drew@drewnewkirk.com hopefully I’ll continue to create some cool stuff to share

The spectrum of human is wide and fully diversified - even within the type. This is a much larger conversation than we can have here but I wouldn’t over hyperbolize descriptions or people, including yourself… we are all trying to figure it out Drew

@@drewnewkirk great answer. I was in a crazy mood when i wrote that. Was going to delete it but you were obviously thinking about a response. Thanks for your insights. I do have a tendency for overstatement (i believe every word at the time but when the moment is over...) Anyway, I appreciate your reply and it helps to know I didn't alienate or aggravate. (Gotta work on my cycling 😉)

@@chachyesmeralda18 no problem! It’s not any easy thing to change our patterns… I appreciate that you are on the journey trying to work on it. Me too 😉

We intense types need to stick together so we don’t lose our minds Drew

@@drewnewkirk to be fair I have lost mine and what I've learnt in the darkest hours is I have the power to rise

Liar! You’ll still feel like a freak sometimes just not as big of one 😂 But I hear ya! We are strange birds Drew

We are a force to be reckoned with and it’s pretty amazing but also a power needing to be harnessed for sure or it’s wild and reckless

You’re talking my language my friend! So sorry for the delay. Thanks so much for watching! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one. If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out Drew

Wow! Heavy stuff. Thanks for sharing. As an SX4 myself I’m sorry he wasn’t healthy enough to use that energy for good. I’m glad you survived and are growing mature so you don’t harm people that way. Again, ade, I’m humbled by your honesty and welcome to the 4 club who’s growing healthier Drew

I like that one, a lot! I mean, “Kiss,” come on 🥰

Truth! Join along 😂 So sorry for the delay. Glad this helped and thanks so much for watching and digging deep! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one. If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out Drew

Great processing. Rejection or the fear of abandonment are such brutal realities to confront. Be courageous in your pursuit of self my friend Drew

I get it my friend… I get it So sorry for the delay. Glad this helped and thanks so much for watching and digging deep! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one. If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out Drew

Thank you my friend 🙏🏼 Totally appreciate it I’m here with ya Drew

Yes, that is all true. Here also sx - sp - so. If I'm honest and the authenticity thing is usually there, then I did have some schadenfreude, or at least wishes in that regard. Once I thought, when someone (probably an 8 fixation), verbally attacked me over and over again, you better be careful, because I'm just going to push you against the wall with my energy. Wow, disembowel like a fish, at first I thought, no, never.. but maybe so. But we get older and grow. Using something someone else said to me in a vulnerable moment I would find deeply disloyal. Maybe I did that before, it would be possible. Definitely a great video, with so much passion.. very cool! Thanks, Drew. I'm currently preparing my Enneagram workshop and your videos are a great reinforcement. Apparently I've already said something about it 🤔... whatever, that's what it says in me 😅☀️ sometimes I wonder how the self-preservation type interacts with the sexual instinct in me. All the passion and intensity meets something more tender.

I would say, I am pretty introverted as well when I really get down to it. But I could do social like a champ. I think we’re all on the spectrum a bit, especially fours. But I would say that sexual fours at least tend to connect with a few individuals pretty deeply from time to time so I guess it depends on how introverted, you are. If you aren’t seeing any humans, then, regardless of your number, you should probably balance it out. But if you just like to get away to regroup, I don’t think that would be abnormal here. Drew

I realized a couple weeks ago I am a sexual 5w4 not a pure 4. Thats why I mistyped.

@@corianderwolfgangrainbeaux thank you so much for watching! Glad it helped If interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks again for reaching out Drew

It can be my friend For you and me both it seems 😉

Ha! Then I’m winning over here. Thanks Matt and hopefully I’ll keep doing so. Now I’m gonna go listen to an anthem 🙌🏼 Drew

Dee, that means a lot. You know you the first half of life is about acquiring, developing, obsessing about style and look…. The second half is about embodying all you accumulated after a healthy bit of editing. Thanks for noticing and affirming. Drew

Rowan, I’ve been watching you 😂 Love it! Hope I’m revealing the bright light too. But, yes, very humbling Hope you keep tuning in to be undressed 😉 Drew

So sorry for the delay. Glad this helped and thanks so much for watching and digging deep! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one. If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out Drew

Thanks for giving it a go Richard. I appreciate the investment of your time and mine. Keep digging Drew

This response is so juicy. As a SX4 I so relate to the 6 Feet Under obsession. I only watched a few seasons but I relate to how much you appreciate it. That’s what we do = appreciate and share! Thanks for making me feel known today, love that you connected to this Drew

It gets better with time and constant working on yourself which is a thing most of us would rather not do. I can assure you though, doing that work does pay off. Mostly in the way of self-forgiveness and awareness. We’ll ride the wave of growth together 😉

@@drewnewkirk Actually I do work on that, but anyhow it was very helpful! It showed me that I'm not a born bad\broken person, it's just part of the personality to learn to deal with. Just like bursts of anger for 8s. I really feel better now. 🙂 Deep thank you, Drew!!!

@@whitefox4237 I know you do, I felt that in the response. I was more relating not coaching there 😂 I’m always reminding myself to stay Hungary for growth and appreciating people like you fighting the good fight with me. Appreciate ya and the hard work

Makes so much sense - me too. Obvi! So sorry for the delay. Thanks so much for watching! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one. If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out Drew

Appreciate that my friend! I definitely am with you. And maybe we are hostile because we are so empathetic 🤯

I’ve been so behind on responding to RU-vid messages, my apologies 🙏🏼 I’m working on a book this year and fully immersed. I get it friend. The creative ways we do our thing. It’s maddening and laughable. Keep digging! If you’re interested in being on my mailing list drop your email on instagram @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy or drew@drewnewkirk.com hopefully I’ll continue to create some cool stuff to share

Do you feel like your experience of it, I mean in the processing sense, feels a bit 9? Like, a bit cloudy but so close to clear? Just curious how you frame the experience as a SX9? Love that you are digging away at the content and the process. Good stuff 🙌🏼

@@drewnewkirk Yeah, that's pretty accurate. Actually, the way you framed it may be the best way to put it as everything is meant to have one return to that cloudy state. For one, there's what I find to be the misunderstanding of the Sexual Nine when it comes to 'merging' or 'unity'. I will take on the traits, beliefs, etc of the other person (on one occasion watched 6 seasons of the comedy show Psych for someone and only laughed twice but continued because I began to "see it") but then what goes remiss is that the other person is then expected to do the same for me and when they don't that's when anger will show up. It's odd honestly because even back in the day I would have an obtuse relationship with anger but when I get the sense that the connection I thought I had with the one person, all the understanding thought to be there, all the exclusion of other things in the world for just us, is then threatened I would get angry and it would "make sense to be angry", as though the Sexual instinct washed away concerns of aggression. And even when it comes to instances outside of that intimate other (like with family perhaps) I'll just suddenly wreck havoc one day, like I get the sense that something needs to change, something needs to happen, and then I'll get in someone's face, call the cops (done it a couple times) - whatever. I want to hurt that person, especially emotionally. And you talked a bit about that but you seemed to express a more conscious festering of it whereas for me I'll just figure everything is fine until suddenly one day it's not and then months of emotion just shows up when I figure things are continuing in a direction I'm not about (but retrospectively the signs were there the whole time). And to tie in your point of clouds, when I get like that, with the rage, getting in someone's face, whatever, like every time it happens I have this thought pattern of wanting the other person to feel the impact of it, I want to know it had an effect, and then I'll want them to still be there ready to hear me out. And should they I'd then be willing to sort of just cool off and just shrivel up again into the peacekeeping Nine. It's like I wanted to just check in that I mattered, the Sexual instinct driving a need for impact as proof, instead of maybe a concern of 'wanting to be seen for who I am' like say a Four. So there are breaks in the sky with the hope that clouds will return. And frankly, it would be really unhealthy of them to stay there and take it, they totally should leave, and while I am concerned of how I might hurt people during these times the more troubling part for me is that even in the midst of rage I can't stand on my own two feet. When everything is off the table, when it's time to take a stand, when it feels like I have all the strength in the world to act, there's a part of me who just wants to not be disconnected from them because then it would be just me and anything but that. Anything. And then as the Sexual subtype I aim to anchor myself with that one other for the purposes of not having to stand on my own. In fact, the times when I'm most self-developing is when I have that one other person (I'd even use a friend if there's not a romantic other at the time) because it somehow gives me permission to do things for myself because technically it's not just for me (it's for this reason why I think the Social Nine is the counter-type because they're not doing things with themselves in mind per se and thus it's A-okay to gogogo). And where say the Four is envious that other people seem to have purpose or that missing something I'll instead figure it's awesome because it tells me everything is that much more fine because "we" are doing great (but then the shot in the foot is when I inadvertently insist in interactions with them that's it's an equal partnership when it's not). So yeah, just hoping for clouds really. Again, love the video. There really were quite a few other moments I related to as well.

@@Magicalpow1 love the processing Zach, read through it and related to a bit myself. I can tell you are doing the heavy lifting and so keep bearing that weight, it’s healthy for a nine to add some pounds of introspection on to their backs. The grinding always pays off. Appreciate your interaction with the content man Drew

I appreciate this so much! Sorry for the delay. Reading this now and it warms the heart Drew

Totally get it. I’m more of a supporter of friends and champion them on, I think the part referring to the not wanting them successful is more of a thing wrestled with internally more than actually wanting - we usually come out cheering them on

Ha! I’ll take it. The affirmation never hurts So sorry for the delay… thanks so much for watching! I put a hard boundary on my time in the last year so I could write a book, which I just finished the first draft 🙌🏼 Know that I always appreciate every remark/response and try to get back to each and every one. If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Hope all is well and thanks for reaching out Drew

Welp, I think this is more an issue of how to say no and set good boundaries with an unhealthy person. While it doesn’t help he’s a SX 4 in how hard we can be to deal with 🤦‍♂️(unfortunately) it seems he’s not doing the hard work of healing and you aren’t responsible for that my friend. Maybe just create some more distance

I’ve never gotten “elegant” before but I’m gonna soak this one up 🙌🏼. Thank you Jesse, as I get older I I’m trying to refine and refine the style, no shame in it. And thanks for watching Drew

100%! It means you’re getting older and wiser and more mature. Additionally the SP part of you may look like a version of a 3 or 7 which explains the sunny side. It’s a blessing to the world to be a more well rounded and well adjusted 4, keep up the good work. Drew

@@drewnewkirk, thank you!!! 👏👏👏

@@michellipirespereira6655 I totally relate. We are complex but we are also often fun and exciting to be around!

@@drewnewkirk, Yes, indeed! I was very confused because of the big change in my behavior😁! Now I am happier to know that I am more mature and less emotional and moody, because I can face life in a more pragmatic way. 😉

@@michellipirespereira6655 I think I address this in one of the episodes on work Maybe principled in pickiness or going beyond about this very topic

No problem, my joy to do

Unfortunately

Good question, I do this in personal conversation too. I think it’s probably some form of a defense mechanism about engaging in too much intimacy, but also a real deep search for words and concentration. So a bit of a mix. I already tend to engage in so much intense conversation so I think the looking away helps it not be too much. Additionally, I have a difficult time finding words sometimes so looking away helps me stay focused, but I would have to admit that I have certain insecurities from my social development in high school and college that can bring on some insecurity. In these videos specifically I don’t feel all that insecure, so I think it’s a matter of finding words and taking some pressure off of the deep engagement with the camera, or the audience. Giving us both a break. That’s my initial thoughts, at least, sorry for the delay as things I’ve got backed up lately, but hope that helps, Drew

Very humbling and affirming! Thanks from the bottom of my SX4 heart ❤️

This is a way bigger question then I could answer here, definitely check out my video on Enneagram four overview, which is as thorough as I could get. But, I need to know, specifics, and more detailed description of what you do to get in your own way, which would require you becoming my client. 😉 in my own life I try to take the pressure off of my self to have a big life, which actually allows me to do practical things that would help a big life happen. Practicality is a huge part of how I see sexual fours grow, when they just get shit done. not over building up life, and then they can actually live it. With all the boring spots. But ultimately, if you want life to be bigger than make it big and stop apologizing for it.

The video is about moving towards your best self. It’s just not fluffy and lite about it, which actually is more true to life. Additionally, there’s 2 hours and 40 minutes of the enneagram 4 overview video I did, if that doesn’t get you to your best self then I’d suggest Tony Robbins motivational videos 😉

Definitely a 4-ish band Thanks for watching If at all interested send me your email through instagram or my email to be on my mailing list Insta - @drewnewkirkpsychotherapy OR Drew@DrewNewkirk.com Either way, I appreciate you Drew

Love the question. Hard to be definitive here as I don’t fully know your story. However, some people wether SX or SP can lie on the spectrum of angry between intense and mild. If this is becoming a hang up in deciding I’d shift to other areas of distinguishing points like how likely you are to ask for what you want or share your heaviness with others. These can be just as important as how you express anger. Or, do you tend to pair regularly or preserve more. Still, this may be best worked out with a professional or a really sharp enneagram loving friend 😉

Thanks a ton Tyler! Where are you practicing out of? Nope, I’m a 478 tritype (triple independent 🤯) Love doing these. Actually working on a 4&7 video now because of that tritype

@@drewnewkirk My pleasure. I'm based in Ohio. Same tritype for me, too (7w8, 8w9). Looking forward to your 4/7 vid! I wondered about that other tritype because of subtle differences in emphasis for the sx4 experience. External factors/other things matter too, of course.

@@m.tylermcguire871 the 7 in me definitely beats out the 5 and 6 by far. But I’d be a counterphobic 7 running towards addressing pain. But the 8 and 1 compete, I think my desire to not look weak is louder than my desire for perfection Although I’m a pretty good cop 👮‍♀️ 🤦‍♂️ Great to meet you man and hope you dig the 4&7 combo

@@drewnewkirk Interesting concept of counterphobic 7. It makes sense. Maybe you possibly having more of an 8w7 energy could explain some the variation I'm seeing. Nice to meet you too! See you around

Thanks Larry. Love that you’re getting something from it. It’s my joy to do them. Keep watching man Drew

That was totally the goal! Thanks for watching. Definitely watch the enneagram 4 overview video. It’s long as hell but it’s as comprehensive as I could get. Think you’ll enjoy it Drew

@@drewnewkirk Thank you for being a 4 yourself 💜 long as hell is how we roll.

@@asanabahrami2735 I’m with ya. We are out here, just got to hunt 😉

I still am not sure on MBTI, got to take it again. But I’m definitely more introverted than I seem on camera and I’m definitely a SX/SP with a Social last I’ll get on the MBTI soon 😉 Drew

Try “cognitive personality theory” on RU-vid , by far the best content out there.

Ha! Right? Anything epic is up our alley!

I'm also a pretentious, metal-elitist. That's where I ger forceful, haha. I never would have thought such a thing.

@@haleydoe644 partners who reach out could be for a lot of reasons, why not ask them? Think they’d be honest?

One of the best of the best songs

Keep digging deep James. This stuff takes quite awhile to flesh out Hope it keeps landing I’ll be doing some episodes on the wings soon so hope you’re subscribed so you can watch Thanks again! Drew

Oh man. Thanks for sharing. So sorry for your loss. But seems like you really worked hard to get on the other side of grief. It’s brutal work. To your question. I think you probably had a more circumstantial shift. Sometimes that’s forced and sometimes chosen. We all became a bit self preserving during Covid. But still our primary was there just hanging out. Also, we are always all 3 so they can be working overtime sometimes. I think when you get a season of life like this you use it to learn that part of yourself more and don’t fight it too much until it gets extreme Hope that helps Drew

@@drewnewkirk Thank you so much for replying. I really did work hard to understand I can celebrate her life without well, getting angry that she is gone. I want to thank you for doing these videos. I feel what you are saying . I've been to therapy but never knew how to articulate what I meant. I think you are person I would single out to chat as the most interesting at a gathering. The way you explained yourself is real and I think I can use what you said when talking to my therapist Thank you man. I can see why you end up as best man often.

@@top_gallant well, that is some real beautiful praise and affirmation. Today, I have some shame about how I acted last night. So, this works as a balm to my heart as I wrestle with my own brokenness. We are always growing, always got more work to do. So, while I’m well loved I’m also often tolerated when I’m a clown. Keep hustling and I’ll keep hustling

@@drewnewkirk I indeed shall. good luck!

Yes! Simply put. Yes! It’s a daily struggle to try to corral it Drew

@@drewnewkirk thank you drew for your honesty im type 4 as well and i get the same feelings about it why do you think that is ?

, it makes fucking sense that we feel drawn to tragic stories or tragic heroes its very cathartic actually, nietzche talked about it in the birth of tragedy something Ancient Greece had an intuitive understanding but never expressed truly whats the meaning behind the cathartic nature of it in their art they felt its “ life affirming “ because its one of the ways to show you that you’re not alone suffering in this world thus Reversing the envy , but its not only that… i felt connection to some of the most disturbing personalities like borderline and narcissism specifically the covert narcissist ( masochistic ) and self defeated in many ways i can relate to them and you sir are amazing much love

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-cXK2Latm6Is.html

@@siryoucantdothat9743 totally understand. We 4’s are not easily intrigued so we, especially when we are broken, gravitate towards the novel and considerably complex - which often are jacked up people. But, yeah, we need layers and if we are healthy we get good layers. When not, watch out 🤯 Drew

So good right! I saw them in Mexico with Keane before the pandemic and it was dreamy af Drew