Enneagram Type 4 & 8 | Comparisons & Connections 

OMG!! I’m a sexual type 4! I knew I was a 4 but I resonated soo much with 8’s. I actually date an 8 & our desires are similar but we express them differently. I can relate with your explanation of 4’s & 8’s. Great video!

I’m a 4 and my father in law is an 8. I have so much respect and admiration for him and he’s totally adopted me. This video is fascinating hearing our dynamics spelled out so well. I really related to the part where you said 4s can learn a lot from watching how 8’s confront people (I can’t remember exactly how you worded it). That’s precisely what I’ve been doing with him and it has been helping immensely and completely shaping how I interact with other people. I’ve been less self conscious and afraid of what people think of me. It’s made me much more assertive.

i LOVE 4-8 dynamics. this is an incredible video

The lives and relationship of John Locke vs Jack Shepherd from Lost. My favorite piece of fiction on the planet. Changed my life.

i have watched so many videos on Enneagrams and you are by far my favourite presenter.. I think it's possibly because you are a 4 and I am a 4 so your depth resonates with me.. Honestly, most intelligent content I have stumbled on in a long time so just wanted to take a moment out to thank you! Matter of time before you have a 100k+ subscribers and remember this comment :)

Thank you so much for making this video. I'm an sx4 married to an 8 for the past 17 yrs. Everything you said is so spot on.

Hi Drew, Thank you so much for making this video. I'm a 4w5 INFP (sp/sx) and married to a 8w7 ISTP. It's a very interesting relationship to me , but also very dynamic and when we're stressed it can be extra stressful. We do have a lot in common and are basically best buddies. But it can also be the exact opposite. And we work together, so yeah that's intense.

So beautiful! Thank you so much for this. I really liked the reading from John Steinbeck brought tears!

“Weren’t heard or seen enough “now we had to become big & strong indifferent , intimidating maybe to keep people at arms length

Thanks Drew! For 4 years I was so convinced I was a social 8 … 🤦🏾‍♀️😅🤣 stressed up moving upwards 5. Now I recently realised I am a sexual 4 wing 5🤷🏾‍♀️ Your video explained the difference in detail. ✨🙏🏾✨ Thank you much. Allthough I still love the instant direct ways of the 8, I slowly start to see and accept that I really am a 4…

I am an 8 and my 16 year old daughter is a 4. We see the world so differently and handle life differently. This is quite refreshing to see that we kind of operate in the same realm on some of things. I cringe when she tells me stories that can be resolved with a logical answer and she takes me to storytime 🤣. And I'm sure she cringes when I give her my response that is direct and in her eyes insensitive.

This is excellent. I’m a sexual 4 in a long term relationship/marriage with a sexual 8. You are correct, it’s a powerful combination, we are doing our best to change the world. Bringing our truth to the world to solve inequities between countries and create equal footing in world markets.

Indian prime minister modiji is 4 and Indian home minister Amit Shaha ji who is also election planner for modiji is 4. Both are together since their struggle days now both are at their pick together

i'm 4w5, tritype 459 and i'm nothing like the sexual 4 spoken about in this video. i'm told that i'm "zen" and "fairylike".

Such a good video! I keep being surrounded by 8s and very very triggered by them, wondering why this is. I’m assuming it’s because I need to learn how to stand up to them but my current mode of op is to get to offended by them sucking all the energy out of the room and talking over me. Love Steinbeck.

Enneagram just became a hobby of mine, understanding is fun😅😊

Drew, I like the intentionality of your videos, from your intro to the room you present in, and the very detailed and informative information. 😉 Lead the way, it's appreciated ❤️.

Reading these comments I see a lot of type 4s that get along great with 8s. Im a 4 and ive only had the worst, most volatile relationships with 8s. Constant arguing and fighting...

Just found your channel, im a 4 SE too and i LOVE your decor in this room. I also have a ocean painting in my living room. And your tattoo's!

Having truthful sometimes intense confrontations , clearing the cobwebby( I know not a word) and get that out and Done with as you stated is realness, no BS I think would be sexy & hope filled relationships

Hey Drew! I'm a 4 and also an INFP. I struggle a lot with anxiety and overthinking. Trying to change certain things in my life, was hoping you could do a video about 4s and "Manifesting" sometime soon! Thanks!

I've learned so much watching you. Before I knew anything about instinctual variants, I used to say things like, "anger is my least expressed emotion, I don't like anger, i don't like who it makes me become. I don't relate to the whiny 4 trope. I'm melancholic, yes but not like that". I'm also madly in love with/married to a sx8. Now at the age of 26, I'm like wow, makes sense. I'm a sx4 😂😂😂 I'm the angry 4. I don't express it aloud but inside I'm all, "I'm better than this, I'm better than you. You people disgust me. I'm not like you." I'm a freaking snob!!!! 😂 I feel sooooo bad about it. I don't mean it that way either. The alternative is, either I feel like scum or I feel like the best person on the planet. I don't have a middle, only extremes 😂. My version of self esteem is an inflated ego or none at all. That's why I love my 8. I admire that he naturally exudes the confidence, Assertiveness and power than I desire for myself. I can only "perform" it. And likewise, he's drawn to my apparent "fire" Even if it's only for show ❤

Always appreciate your thoroughness. So much info to soak in. Love it! I didn't realize how much I actually live out the sx sub as a 4 until this comparison vid. Eye opening. Will definitely be revisiting this vid as I do your others

Very interesting. I’m a sx 4, who bumped head apparently with an 8. I ended up on your video as I still think of him but we kind of fell apart. It sort of reminded me our inability to communicate or maybe his overeagerness to control. Sad.........Very nice video and content!

I am a 4 and an INFJ my partner is an 8 and an INFP. Its sometimes crazy energy and always very deep connection and so compatible but when he is stressed not so much😂 because I dont like that kind of fire! I am a SP sx 4 so thats helpful otherwise there would be too much drama. Your description of the 4 being coy and enticing and the 8 just showing up like they have been there before was an apt description of our first dating. He was like "ok yeah, its cool if you are not interested right away" while knowing that i was. He had no doubts and even though he saw through my act he didn't feel the need to call me out. He just knew. It was and is the most cool thing about him. He never feels the need to outshine me and it doesn't make me feel like i need to push down his energy. We have been rock solid for 3 years now.

Thank you so so much for finally straightening out why I always test out the way I do

I’m hoping for a head connection,-attraction & chemistry, yes a best friend, similar likes. I’m seeking a companion, friend to give space & independence. Always felt having two living spaces separate home to maintain a degree of privacy & separateness. Then come together for intimate conversations sharing the things that brings deeper connection

Thanks again Drew. Was able to share this with a 4 to help innerstan' 8!!

Thoroughly enjoyed this, well done! I respect how much heart, gut, and head energy went into the video. I was thinking, on the topic of going after/moving toward our passion ... I feel like this is part of why so many people self-sabotage. You start moving toward the thing you *think* you need or want and then you get a few steps away and there's a painful gut hit that actually, no, this isn't going to give me what I really need. Better burn it to the ground then before I realize that on a conscious level and make some truly meaningful progress! Or hopefully, one is more healed, and they do realize that on a conscious level and just move forward with awareness. That's a fun thing for my mind to chew on.

Awesome 👏 Thank You! Now I am positive I am 8 ( still think social) and my bestie is 4 ! We are awesome together 🙏💪💕

That’s interesting, I thought I was a social 4w3 but the way you characterized the sexual subtype rings my bell. I (and my 4w5 son) both have ferocious, 8-like tempers whenever someone wrongs us in the slightest way.

Great video - thoroughly enjoyed it!

😂😂😂😂 spot on. Your facial expression giveaways.

Just amazing! On the other hand would you please give us a sneak peak on your gorgeous living room 😅

I have 4 and 8 in my tritype. My wife is convinced I’m an 8. I think I’m pretty 4ish. But hopefully this video gives me clarity.

I find your videos so helpful Drew, and return to them often. Thank you!

I walk in a room, everyone starts to question if they're doing the wrong thing, with a look of wanting my approval all over their face. But I do have a uniform, and the uniform is me. Crew black fitted T, septum and industrial piercing, combat boots. ...am I an 8 or a an sx 4?!

Why can't you relate in the world like I can to survive versus why can't you see the world like I do for survival? T.N.T. by AC/DC vs. You Don't Know How it Feels by Tom Petty.

45:00 🤦🏾‍♀️🙄 So many PRACTICAL gems

Yes I love Big dogs if I could have a pony or horse inside I would. Love Great Danes

8 meets 4: goes nowhere or somewhere: fast. Joke.

great work Drew x

Im an sp 8. Unlike 4s, I really dont think much about my presence. Or even have a slight clue at all. I guess im probably blind to my energy, how I come across people. It is so strange how types think about self vs tenor on a birthday party for example, meanwhile i am hungry and just want to eat. lol

Laughing so hard 🤣🤣🤣. “Take that what you will.”

Hi Drew, I just found your channel and it's amazing. I've been reading and familiarizing myself with the Enneagram for a few years now, and I find that the identities I feel internally are very different from what people perceive from me. Like, I have felt invisible all my life, but people perceive me to be confident. So many people have agreed that I must be an 8 and yet, I've never felt this lack of self-doubt a lot of 8s seem to have. This video has me deeply resonating with the sx4 and now I'm questioning everything. (to be fair, I question everything all the time, low key have a least 2 existential crises a day lol) is it possible to have some sort of "personality dysmorphia" that leads to a mistype? I find there's always a dissonance in my internal state and the feedback echoed externally.

Wow 4s sound so much like me a sx7

You just compared us 8s to the incarnation of evil in Tolkien’s novels 🤣

Charismatics vs. Dandies. Robert Greene

Hi Drew, I'm really enjoying your channel. I've been struggling for over a year to find my type and feel confused about whether I'm a 4, 3, or 8. All my friends perceive me as artistic and passionate, but they also think I am extremely assertive and "out there" like an 8. I have always been very individualistic, but more in regards to refusing to conform to standards and social norms than anything. I am not the type to need to express art on my body or through my clothes haha. But the emotional part confuses me because I feel very emotional at times and the fact I question my identity so much makes me feel 4ish. I also feel shy and self conscious at times, though when I am healthy I feel extremely confident. I am 21 and I can't tell if I thought at times I was an 8 because I was an angry teen at the time, or if I thought I was a 4 at times because of depression. It's confusing because I feel intense and powerful, yet thoughtful, romantic, and emotional all at once! I was wondering if you had any thoughts reading this.

8;s give me anxiety

Don't hurt me, you will pay. ❤

I'm a sexual 4w5 dating an 8w7 and phew!

Unnecessary multi-layered barbed wire around a marshmellow heart versus unnecessary onion layers of shame around a body image. I am Here by Pink Vs. Closer by N.I.N.

Drew access your mushiness It can be charming inner child

Thank you! How about 4 sp/sx and 6 sx/sp relationship? I think my partner, he and I initially mislabeled him as a 8 while I mislabeled myself as a 5. However after really analyzing it all, there is a deep sense of fear that drives his anger so he’s the counterphobic 6 and I had an automatic disgust to the 4 description. after a couple of years I really looked into it. The extreme automatic negative reaction was because I didn’t want to admit I was a 4