Pls do video on 2 and 4 enegram relationship

Here's a bit of a conundrum... I'm a 4 ....probably equal wings at this point as i'm older now. But i've done so many years of inner work that i have very little inclination to try to convince anyone of anything... knowing that true wisdom is based upon so many years of introspection, suffering and varied life experiences. I don't pretend that i can ever truly share what i've learned with anyone and have it mean anything for them. At one point i would have fancied myself a poet or an author or a teacher or guide. Now i really don't know if where i've gotten to is any better than where i left (as John Lennon sang "I was the walrus, now I"m John") ... the four hates being normal. But here i am...just me. My therapist says it's a gift to "just be me" now...and not be building some fabulous identity based upon reactivity to outside stimuli. But is being normal any better than having a grand illusion of something else? Dunno. It was pretty exciting when i lived the blue pill... Turns out that the red pill is, well, it's a bit of a yawn.

i see my reflection in you.. 4s live from the soul.. that's my takeaway today!

“I said: what about my eyes? He said: Keep them on the road. I said: What about my passion? He said: Keep it burning. I said: What about my heart? He said: Tell me what you hold inside it? I said: Pain and sorrow. He said: Stay with it. The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ― Rumi

This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. Jalaluddin Rumi

Have you read much of Rumi poetry? He will hit your core in a way that no one can.. I would love to watch some videos of yours analysing his literature!! :).. would make for a fun (but creative) break from your standard content and probably reach a different type of audience.

i have watched so many videos on Enneagrams and you are by far my favourite presenter.. I think it's possibly because you are a 4 and I am a 4 so your depth resonates with me.. Honestly, most intelligent content I have stumbled on in a long time so just wanted to take a moment out to thank you! Matter of time before you have a 100k+ subscribers and remember this comment :)

I was raised by an unhealthy 8. I def wasn’t born an 8 I was def a type 2 that trauma and life made into an 8. Let’s just say everything he was I didn’t want to be. He struggled with vulnerability I embraced it because he couldn’t. I guess I am a weird type 8 but my driving force has always been in defiance. 😂

9 here. Let me be blunt, I am having a hard time understanding what you are saying. It reminds me of trying to explain computer science to someone who only knows how to check their email.

Big, big appreciation for the destigmatisation of SX4-cheers!

So beautiful! Thank you so much for this. I really liked the reading from John Steinbeck brought tears!

I'm a 5. This is so beautiful. So much respect for 4s.

Ahh. Yes this is me.

Be more instinctual? You're playing with powers you can't control! 😄 I loved this presentation. So on point and accurate. Thank you so much for your work in making these!

sx 4. This was the vid I wanted to thank you for. Hehe. Left "thank you"s to the general description of the subtypes.

Thank you! You stressed so much on the dark side of the sx 4, I definitely got it. Came just to say thank you. I don't show wrath, I show frustration, but I surely know what you are talking about. Although, I remember being told that I have a "certain goodness" about myself. The expression stood with me for years for it doesn't show that much if you don't sit with me a little bit, i think because I'm kind of sunny - put on a happy face while dealing with deep emotion, like another youtuber said about us 4s. Anyhow, thanks pal (if I can call you so:) )!

This was actually very helpful and informative; nice!

It’s great hearing about a 4 from a 4!!!

I like what you’re saying but the way you say it kinda bothers tf outta me 😂. Creepy guru vibes. I was also a 5 who did vipassana

13:58 "You need hardship to grow you" really left an impression on me because I always lament hardship. You are 100% right about my needing a push to get me to do something. 1:11:40 "Things that take others a year take them 10." This is so true for me. This is such a well crafted video. The concept behind using a song to illustrate a trait and then the explanations that you offered were incredible. Thank you so much for the time you invested in researching information and making this video.

Much appreciated! 🙏🏻

"I'll be your mirror, reflect what you are, in case you don't know..." This is the most invaluable resource I have come across yet in helping me truly understand myself and especially my motivations. And just at the right time too, as I contemplate career and relationships in my next phase of life. Thank you for this clear, comprehensive and brutally frank piece that will no doubt serve as a wake up call to all Type 2s out there.

Indian prime minister modiji is 4 and Indian home minister Amit Shaha ji who is also election planner for modiji is 4. Both are together since their struggle days now both are at their pick together

Thank you. Finally, I understand that I am in fact a type 4.

I'm an enneagram 8 core. So no wings. But I am definitely an sx 8. I always have to be active and on the move to be satiated.

Im a 9. Thank you so much for doing this. You see us. ❤

I am shocked as a 7 who mentioned enneagram and milan kundera’s that spesific book to my friend today. I even quoted the same sentence you did. Just wow

I like your references from the 90's as im a 72 year old grandmother of seven. Looking for humor, kids are out with it by nature.

Don't hurt me, you will pay. ❤

😢so hard to love the 8 and the pain almost isnt worth the wait

Ready to travel and explore.

This is so beautiful. 🔥❤🎶

Wow, holy smokes. This is speaking to me so much right now especially. The pairing - I thought it was because my mom has a twin, so I wanted my own twin. Or I think everyone has a twin (and get pairs of celebs confused, or I associate them with each other.)

This was incredibly helpful. 4w3 here, also a therapist…you make me feel seen. Thank you for these profound insights!!!! It’s so damn painful to feel “too much” but not enough all at once and it’s comforting to know I’m not alone in these thoughts. ❤enfj as well. What is your Myer-Briggs if you don’t mind me asking? I sensed enfj energy as well.

Always been a dom social 8, until this 2 years its been really rough. I went into full self preservation mode and this switch just brought out a side of me i dont recognise but come to appreciate.

Type 2 therapists here! Thanks for the video

Watched hours of your content in last couple of weeks. I have had the hardest time figuring out my type. Two years ago i had a coaching session and the guy told me i was a social type 7 bc i kept getting 9,2,3,7 on tests. I started watching your 9s and 7s videos and both clicked but felt off. I guess i felt too special and original for them. The part that hung me up is that I'm not avoiding pain like a 7 does and I'm too confrontational for a 9. I'm not sure if this means anything but i was prejudiced against being a 4. I totally overlooked it as beneath me, 😂. It felt like I would be admitting something terrible about myself, that i was too emotional for others, a wreck. Which is exactly how i am at times. I've just channeled it into motivating others to get better. You're self-preservation video about your brother convinced me that I'm a type 4 who is the long sufferer. It feels like I'm finally seen and known. It all fits me and I've never had that with any other types. I'm a very enthusiastic person and hard to type because I'm a helper, life long learner, and an authentic person. I dive deep into the emotions and squeeze every moment to maximize it's meaning. Yet i never thought of myself as envious. This video showed me a lot more about myself than I saw before. Envy is all about wanting what you do not have, and noticing what's missing in your experience. I guess i need to sort that out a bit more on my end. This enneagram stuff really messes with me. Side note, love William James content.

Drew! You are the first guy as a type 4 that I've ever met.. I'm a musician and also four. I understand everything you're tryna say and they are all true. It's really good to see the other fours. Thanks a lot👏

I am pretty sure I am a type 6, partly because I am never entirely sure of anything, and partly because I have been inventing worst case scenarios in my mind since I was preschool age. However, I don't relate to the usual subtype descriptions. I am consciously more focused on my closest relationships and on intense interests and experiences than anything else, yet I do not fit the profile of a counterphobic sx dominant. I am usually cautious in most areas of my life. I can be reckless and charge into the fire, but only when I have had time to think about it, and have concluded that it is worth the risk, OR if someone I love is being threatened. Otherwise, I prefer strategy and diplomacy over confrontation. I relate most to the self preservation subtype description, although it pains me to admit that. I don't relate AT ALL to the common stereotype of self preservation being about resources, financial security, or physical comfort. I enjoy those things, but I would throw them away in a heartbeat for the right reasons or the right person. In fact, I have often fantasized about being a free spirit who is not tied to anything. This creates a lot of internal conflict, but the need for security usually wins. My relationships always take priority over physical safety and security. I will always prefer compromise and negotiation over conflict, but if I am pushed too hard or backed into a corner, I will come out fighting, and I will win because I know my opponents. I am often underestimated by people who think I am always going to be kind and sweet. I also do not relate to descriptions of the cool, rule bound social six. They annoy me to no end, and I terrify them with my "recklessness". The only thing that makes sense to me is that I am probably a type 6 sp/sx. I am safety oriented, but money, resources, and physical security are not what make me feel "safe". My relationships are what does that for me. I will do almost anything for the people I love, but if they f*** me over or break my trust badly enough, then my relationship with them will be history.

Wow ty, definitely I have no desire to make you feel small with my intellect I certainly didn't admire and respect your emotional intelligence but you're right it does have that effect but thank you for this this was a very good to hear I'm going to have to watch it a couple times. Sincerely a five-wing four ty

I’ve never felt more seen 💀😂 the smiths are my favorite.. I constantly quote “oh mother I can feel the soil falling over my head”

I’m a 4w5 w/ a Sexual bend. My wife is a 4w3 w/ a SP bend. Just finding this out yesterday it makes a lot of sense. I’ve known she was a deep feeler, but have been confused why she is so closed off and unwilling to share at times. Things are starting to click now and I’m excited to learn how to love her better and gently challenge her to love me better.

As a 4w3, and also a therapist in private practice, I legit felt so comforted by this. Thank you so much. You’ve made me feel seen. I legit feel like I may be the female version of you. Thank you. Your videos are invaluable. Also, your other video about the smiths blew my mind. I love his music. And when I have heard his music, I’ve always felt alive and understood. wow. My mind is blown.

You are appreciated Drew 😊 (anonymous)

Nice job. I am a 76yr old two still trying to get it right. My library is self-help books. Thank you.

that is SO true - I love the environment, and I hate when others are held down & ruled over. I need to listen to that song again! On a larger note, a lot of this info was tough to hear.... I can't imagine where to even begin. Thanks for a thorough picture of the 9 territory Drew. I just found your channel and the videos have been terrific.

I’d be interested to know if you have studied how the instincts overlap with enneagram tritype. I think I am a self pres 4 but I am a 468 tritype which is the most intense enneagram tritype there is…..even more than an 8 with a 4 in the tritype. I bring that up because you said a sexual 4 is the most ruthless, but I would be interested to know if you have an 8 in your tritype and if that could account for the “ruthlessness”

Great video I'm an SP4 and I resonated a lot with what you said here. From my experience the biggest thing that separates SP 4's from the So and Sx is wanting to be noticed and valued often from my personal experience from a distance and a detached way. We like our ideas, knowledge,perspectives and experiences to be known and given attention first and foremost and that gives us the most satisfaction. People knowing I am the person who shared this information is secondary many times in my life I've responded to friends aquaintances or people i don't know with "im a nobody" "Im nobody important".I joke sometimes that one of the biggest romanticisms for a SP4 would be like being a stagehand or set builder or script writer because our work and contributions are remembered but nobody has a clue who we are. So it's the perfect harmony of getting the best or both worlds.

I just listened to the three "9" videos and they were great! But I'm still confused, I see bits of each sub-type in myself but I'm not sure which is my main one.

I have learned so much about myself and need to dig deeper into my 8. Thank you so much!🙏