Top 10 Ways to Love an Enneagram Type Nine

Подписаться 53 тыс.

Просмотров 51 тыс.

50% 1

Learn the BEST ways to love the Enneagram Type 9s in your life and promote a better relationship! Don't Know Your Enneagram Number? Get Your Free Typing Guide ➡️ bit.ly/3bUDXdb
It's important to know the basic desires of "The Peacemaker” in order to understand the core motivations, weaknesses, and desires of your partner so you can help them feel like their presence matters and their voice deserves to be heard.
WATCH NEXT:
All About Enneagram Nines: bit.ly/2RBzzlz
Top 10 Ways to Love Each Enneagram Type: bit.ly/33PNEDb
Funny Enneagram Videos: bit.ly/EnneagramVideos
The 1 Minute Enneagram Series: bit.ly/1MinuteEnneagram
Daily Routines According to Enneagram Types: bit.ly/EnneagramDailyRoutines
FIND YOUR ENNEAGRAM TYPE:
*Take the test here: truity.com/?a=2788847
Another test I love: assessment.yourenneagramcoach...
What do the numbers mean?: bit.ly/HowToFindYourType
MY ENNEAGRAM PRODUCT RECS:
My Amazon Shop: www.amazon.com/shop/abbeyhowe
My Enneagram Book Recs: www.amazon.com/shop/abbeyhowe...
*These links are affiliate links which means I receive a small percentage of the purchase. You will not pay more and you will help support this RU-vid channel! ♥️
ABOUT THIS CHANNEL:
Are you wondering what makes you unique and awesome? Are you struggling to understand your loved ones? Are you confused about your fears, triggers, and anxieties? It’s time to discover YOU! Explore your personality by diving into the Enneagram, Love Languages, Myers Briggs, and MORE! My name is Abbey Howe and I’m here to help you discover YOU!
As an Enneagram 3, my life goal is to help others live a more vibrant life by understanding what makes up the recipe of you. When you subscribe to this channel, you will get funny and helpful insights about your personality type AND the personality types of the people in your life.
#EnneagramWithAbbey #Enneagram9withAbbey
SAY HELLO:
Instagram: / enneagramwithabbey
Facebook: / enneagramwithabbey
Twitter: / abbeyhowe
Support this channel (anything helps!) www.buymeacoffee.com/abbeyhowe
FTC DISCLAIMER:
This video was sponsored by Cloverleaf!

Опубликовано:

13 июл 2024

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 145

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

Want to know your Enneagram number? Take one of my fave Enneagram tests! bit.ly/enneagram-9-love

@DariusLong 3 года назад

I got 9w1, great post and thanks for sharing this quiz

@leogrrrl5876 3 года назад

I am impressed! I doubted it would get mine, but it pegged me as a 5w4 which can be a tricky one to get as the questions on tests can be so geared towards "this" or "that" answers & 5 can be a combination because of the wings (plus I'm an INFJ). Will recommend this test to others ☺

@evanjacques2993 3 года назад

Any 9s watching this to find out how to love yourself?

@Violet_Odorata 2 года назад

Me 😭

@kornykorhorn 2 года назад

@@Violet_Odorata No need to cry. Cheer up. We are all a hot mess, it is normal.

@Violet_Odorata 2 года назад

@@kornykorhorn Yeah, you're right. Appreciate the concern my guy.

@FlashBangBANGz 2 года назад

That's actually oddly smart.

@jelfishery Год назад

i feel personally attacked

@AryaViotta 3 года назад

I will be completely honest, when you talked about the lazyness of the 9 I really teared up. I feel so understood. Unfortunately I am in a toxic environment where I get harsh criticism for not being able to be productive consistently and work hard. Everytime I try to say that I am tired and have no energy it gets brushed off because from the outside there is nothing to be worked up about - how can you explain to others that life itself is draining? The fact that my 1 wing screams at me for not being able to finish my tasks doesn't make it better either. Thank you for adressing this issue, I think it is very important for us to hear that our perspective matters.

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

That's so hard, Maria. I'm sorry that you are in a toxic environment like that. Remember that your worth is not dependent on your productivity level. Your voice and presence matters no matter what you *do* on your to-do list. I hope that this video was helpful in loving yourself better!!

@AryaViotta 3 года назад

@@AbbeyHowe Thank you so much

@Texaslawhorn 3 года назад

I'm a 9w1, too, and that inner struggle between our dominant tendency to procrastinate and our inner voice telling us to get it together and shape up is very real. It's easy to get inspired and start something but then lose steam before we finish and get frustrated with ourselves. I'm with someone who is a 5, and we are compatible because we are often in our own little worlds, but we know we have the other when we need them. He usually doesn't judge and criticize what others could perceive as laziness. I am glad he's not a 1 because I feel we would argue a lot over differences in motivation. I hope things get better for you. ❤

@test-kf2zv 3 года назад

"The fact that my 1 wing screams at me for not being able to finish my tasks doesn't make it better either." Oof, I feel this. My 1 wing is not kind to me. Which pushes my 9 further into sloth... I also appreciated the commentary about "lazy." I'd never considered part of it being about taking in other people's needs and feelings. I think there's truth to that; I may seem closed off to the world, I know I often do, but I'm really not.

@sierravanderslice2637 3 года назад

Mmm understood this so much once I read The Road Back to You, but there weren't too many things that they said to help. But ugh, definitely have a 1 wing...I did realize however that these crazy awesome spontaneous friends that are inviting us everywhere has had a really positive effect on the low energy-ness of living my life and I have been agreeing to do crazy things that I didn't think I would ever do(like jumping a homemade snow ramp on a snowmobile by myself :O and just crazy things like that in general), but it has been so fun! Maria, I hope that you can get out of that environment, because that is so hard, and that you can learn that you are an amazing person and should not doubt your worth or importance, and you were created to make a difference in this world. Hopefully you can start to wake up to your true self and have a lot of amazing, comfort zone ridding (sounds so gross and scary XP) experiences to ignite a passion inside of you for life and begin to make you hope again! I am so glad you shared on here, though, definitely helps to know I was not the only one feeling this way. But glad to know now that it can get better :)

@KairaisnotaLiopleurodon 3 года назад

I think I would cry if someone celebrated me for asserting myself haha. One time, my mom asked my brother and me what we wanted to eat, and my brother mentioned where he wanted to go. Without second thought I said, "yea, let's do that." My brother then stopped himself and said, "wait, Kaira, you always do what we want to do. Where do YOU want to go?" That small observation he made of me and then consideration and opening a space for me to say what I wanted honestly made me a bit emotional and feel so loved. I told that story to a friend and she said, "Kaira do you know about the enneagram? You sound like a 9 haha." A short chat, quiz, and googling sesh later and now I'm here on your channel absolutely loving your content! Thank you for taking the time to make these!

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

Thank you so much for sharing that anecdote with us! I love that story and how your brother loved you so well in that moment.

@greezymoney5555 3 года назад

I remember when I was 8, I met this girl on a camping trip. She would always come to MY campsite and want to hangout. I crashed my bike and hurt my leg and couldn't ride my bike anymore. She stayed by my side even though all I was doing was sitting in a chair. I couldn't understand why and told her she could go do something else, I was ok. But she just stayed. I remember the day we were leaving. She stood through our family's entire devotion that morning, just to ask ME if we could take a picture together. So she could remember ME forever. Y'all I almost cried. She was practically a stranger. But she meant so much to me. I have never forgot that girl. Showing a 9 that they are seen, and that you truly want to be with them, no matter what, means more than you will ever know.

@nataliefades 2 года назад

I love this. I wonder what her Enneagram type number was. ❤️

@justszeying 2 года назад

@@nataliefades maybe type 2 or 9? Sounds like something a type 2 or 9 would do

@amelian9677 3 месяца назад

I’m a 4 and I think this is part of why I often find myself drawn to 9’s. I like to make people feel seen for who they are. Plus you guys are smart and empathetic.

@BarberPhotography Год назад

After watching this video, I feel so understood. I grew up in a house with a controlling mom who wasn’t always stable and all my family members kind of let her have her way because we didn’t want to be yelled at and guilt tripped. As an adult, I’ve realized I’ve often suppressed my needs and emotions to make other people happy. It is extremely hard for me to confront someone about something, especially if that person has shown to be angry or unfair to me when I bring things up. I have realized that suppressing my emotions and expectations has put a lot of stress on myself and how can I expect others to know I’m upset if I don’t say anything. A friend of mine recently told me that if a person has generally always gotten their way and you confront them, they probably will come at you at a higher level because they are not used to you asserting yourself but setting a boundary is important and it will get easier in time. It is still hard for me to confront my mom about things but I do need to make my needs known in a kind way and if she chooses to escalate the situation, I can choose to stay calm and state why my need is important for her to here.

@mariaburnett1888 3 года назад

I would LOVE it if people threw parties whenever I assert myself- happens mayyybe once every few months.

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

Amazing 😂😂😂

@test-kf2zv 3 года назад

The worst thing is when we finally assert ourselves, and it blows up in our faces. Or we're ignored. Or a bit of both. Definitely initiate plans! I'm horrible at doing that.

@lazoshi 2 года назад

❤️

@NancyB455 3 года назад

This is spot-on except I feel like you missed a little something on #7. It's nice when my 8 husband says, "I want to spend time with you. What would you like to do?" but I really prefer it when he comes up with some suggestions, especially if I'm feeling down and low-energy. Otherwise, I hear, "Go research some things that we can do, that we can afford and that will fit into both our schedules and that we will both like, and make sure there is a plan because I'm an 8 and I like a plan...and then make a decision about it." PRESSURE! It is such a relief those times when he says, "I want to spend time with you - If you don't have any ideas, maybe we could go try this restaurant or go see this movie?" (Thanks to your videos, I think my family finally understands why I'm indecisive so often. Now, when they ask what I want to do for dinner and I hesitate, my son will yell, "HOW CAN YOU PUT THIS ON ME RIGHT NOW?!" and we laugh. It's HARD to go through life trying to make everyone around you happy! They all like different things!)

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

Thanks for the feedback, Nancy! It's really helpful to hear this contextualized with your real life experience with your 8 husband. Other 9s ⬆️ read this comment!!

@missclover7781 3 года назад

I was going to comment on this same thing! I really appreciate when my friends reach out to me with 2 or 3 options they already approved that i can pick from. Because if the question is "what do you want to do" i instantly get overwhelmed with the million factors involved and see every single pro and con of every choice... Yeah it's too much. So presented with 2or3 options is sooo much less stressful and i feel more comfortable making the decision... Does that make sense? Thank you Abbey for the video! Feeling so understood! which is nice 😊

@SamEATS 3 года назад

Hmm I actually really liked what she said in the video! I specifically feel really loved when they say “what do you wanna do” instead of just trying to do something they wanna do always

@NancyB455 3 года назад

@@SamEATS oh yes, I like them to start with "do you have any desires/suggestions." But if I'm in a low place, i may want to spend time and get out, but literally can't find inside WHAT I want to do or make a decision and need help. But I'm sure it's different for all.

@sierravanderslice2637 3 года назад

Oh goodness, it was such a relief to have people understand why I was indecisive

@dilemma_unheard-of_dilemma1917 3 года назад

I’m an E 9 and a closeted Lesbian in my family. Being assertive is so hard for me, and I’m an adult and I’m really afraid of being assertive and telling my family who I am. Mostly because I’m afraid of the fact that I’m convinced it would disrupt the peace in my family. I often validate peace above my own self.

@s.s.5106 3 года назад

A lot of this resonates with me. I wish I could’ve heard this a week ago before I broke up with 9. As a four, I kept reading his slothfulness as indifference.

@ecviets 3 года назад

If the relationship is worth salvaging, send him the video and tell him that you are starting to understand, and that if he would like to give it another chance that you would be glad to work on understanding him better in the relationship (if you are).

@s.s.5106 3 года назад

@@ecviets thank you for the advice. Its a great idea, but It’s not a relationship I’m interested in salvaging. He’s a good guy, but I don’t think we are compatible.

@ritaruggerone4434 3 года назад

I'm also a four and my boyfriend's a nine so I understand where you're coming from. These videos help me understand him better.

@naomik.1067 3 года назад

YES FINALLY! I have been desperate for this video... I was about to write a strongly worded email. I am an 8 and my partner is a 9. It's been important to me to learn how to speak TO him, and not FOR him or AT him. We watched it together and he corroborated everything, and I learned even after 7 years with someone, I have stuff to lean!

@lazoshi 2 года назад

I am a type four. Am learning that type 9 is a type I would get along best with. Wish I could submerge myself more into that world, learn a lot more about it.

@marishaten7399 3 года назад

Great video! The content is totally accurate. 9s need a lot of gentleness from everybody. My sister is a textbook 9 and sometimes I come on too strong...I lose patience with the kid glove treatment she has to be given...thanks for reminding me to be more patient with her!

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

Glad it was helpful!! Thanks, Marisha! ♥️

@Desic123 3 года назад

I want to give this to every friend, partner, family member, coworker, and person I know, but I'm afraid that would create conflict. I'll get the courage one day. This was beautiful. Thank you Abbey!!

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

Thank YOU!! ♥️

@snoeleppard 3 года назад

Honestly, I watched this to learn how to love myself better. Thank you! 💜🥰💜

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

Love that!

@LapisGamer0500 8 месяцев назад

I am an enneagram type 9, and i agree NEVER call me lazy that just triggers my enneagram type 8 side.

@JBfanLeonie 3 года назад

Oh god, I'd hate it if someone asked me "Do you want to hang out, what do you want to do?" It would stress me so much😂

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

oh no haha

@allisonscanlan4144 2 года назад

What should they say then 🤣

@adrienmerliss9927 3 года назад

Abbey, I adore you. I feel seen. I'm sure many other 9s do, too.

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

😭

@adrienmerliss9927 3 года назад

@@AbbeyHowe Don't cry!

@katemcnulty7924 5 месяцев назад

You are a wonderful intelligent funny coach and we love you!!

@larissaprates1384 3 года назад

As a type 9 I agree 100% with this video!! Abbey got it right

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

Woohoo! 🎉

@Rosesandthorns_6 3 года назад

This is spot on except I have to disagree somewhat with #2. When I do assert myself as a 9 which is very difficult to do, I don't really like it when someone "celebrates" or praises me for it. It can often feel patronizing. I prefer a brief "Thank you for sharing your thoughts" rather than a "Wow way to stick up for yourself I'm so proud of you!" Anyone else relate?

@allisonscanlan4144 2 года назад

Definitely makes sense -5

@madelineliu1102 2 года назад

I'm a type 9 and I agree! I think a full-blown out party with a lot of enthusiasm would be a bit too much for me. A simple acknowledgement or having someone agree with me is enough to make me feel seen.

@ToYourHealthAndMine 2 года назад

For me it's definitely about the authenticity of the response. I love it when someone is genuinely enthusiastic for me, and at the same time I'd much rather a quiet, sincere "thank you" than a shrill "good for you!"

@Janay-cy3cu 11 месяцев назад

My main love languages are physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. This is my way of connecting to others.

@rinvarga6366 2 года назад

Thank you for making this video!! Besides myself, I have a feeling that my sister and several of my closest friends may also be Enneagram 9s--the only thing better than finding ways to help them feel loved & appreciated is seeing all of the self-acceptance & validation of people here in the comments after watching this, too! Thank you again from all of us 9s following your channel! ^-^

@kenziebone11 3 года назад

I’ve been waiting for this one!!! Yay!

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

woohoooo!!! ♥️

@denisea.9033 Год назад

I love these, great work and thank you for doing them! Super accurate and entertaining lol. I have to say though, I love when someone else makes the plans and don't make me have one more thing to have to make a decision on in my super-full life. I stress when my family wants me to choose where to go, I don't care I'll just be glad to be there with them but glad to be relieved of the decision-making.

@samylorraine7479 3 года назад

You finally did it!! Thank you so much! It was worth the wait. I'm also learning and enjoying the comments here as a 9 myself. Asante!🤗

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

You are so welcome Samy!

@Dietskittles 3 года назад

You did it!!! Thank you so much for this video! It definitely lived up to my expectations and exceeded them!

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

You're so welcome! I'm glad you liked it!!

@daniellenicholson2725 3 года назад

Watching this so I can love myself

@karbear04 3 года назад

thanks!! This is so info rich, I think I will have to rewatch a few times. I love when we can make practical use of this knowledge!!! -from a 5 married to a 9

@jineyasthappan8621 3 года назад

Very helpful

@KelaNellums 3 года назад

I am a 9 married to a 3....and oh goodness, I've lost most of my identity and drive because I too easily go with the flow of his drive and ambition. I will say though that through the years (over 27 years), I've become a little more vocal about my needs, and whatever little dreams and goals I have, and he says that he likes it when I'm more "opinionated". And as most people know...9s can be the most stubborn of the types. So when I hunker down is when I'm most listened to. But I don't resort to that very often.

@hannahchristelle1909 3 года назад

As a nine, all this is correct.

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

yay! glad it resonated, Hannah!

@MissLittleNiki 3 года назад

I’m a 9. How do we fix that low-energy state that a 9 can be in? I am always super tired and ultra dependent on caffiene. Would love tips to help curb this low energy state

@rhernandez3112 2 года назад

Make friends with a 7 or 5. They do stuff, you tag along when you feel up to it.

@abbyherold9828 3 года назад

Loved this thanks.

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

Glad you enjoyed it!

@Texaslawhorn 3 года назад

Thanks for this final installment in this particular series, Abbey! There is a lot of truth in this video that my 9 self can relate to. I will say though that I am often the one who initiates outside activities with my significant other who is a 5, and fortunately, he is willing (usually) to go along with it and join me and thanks me for it in the end. I took a Tritype test and got 927 with the 7 as my dominant head triad number so I do love to seek adventure when I get up the motivation and willpower to leave my apartment, face people and actually do it! 🙂

@sierravanderslice2637 3 года назад

Whoa, I think I would be a nine, two, seven, I think. I literally feel like all three of those depending on the day, mood, or who I'm around and how I'm feeling..............hm. Some people bring out the decision maker in me because I know they are a safe place and sometimes I'm so goofy and outgoing with certain friends, and then I'm calm and chill with my goofy friends. I really love conversations and I love people and making people happy, but I am super like, uh, if you wanna do the dishes for the next two weeks, I will absolutely not object. I may feel bad, but super glad I don't have to...just a little lazy sometimes :O Also I don't like being up in front of people, but really like talking to kids, trying to get them to like me, lol and trying to be like them. They are a joy and just remind me of what it's like to be care free and loving. I also am a one on one person...sometimes even telling more than one persona joke at the dinner table makes me nervous :,D trying to get over that. (My seven friends do not understand the feeling of not wanting attention and being nervous XD) This is why it was hard for me to type myself at first.

@Texaslawhorn 3 года назад

@@sierravanderslice2637 Yes, I think typing 9s can sometimes be challenging depending on the day, situation and our moods. We can really tap into all of the numbers if needed though we're not always comfortable doing so. I knew 9 was me though with the whole avoiding confrontation description. I "bite my tongue" so much and then kick myself for not pointing out a wrong or standing up for myself. As shy as I can be I do love new things and adventure, even if it's by myself sometimes. The 2 in me does come out strong when thinking of gifts for friends and family and wanting everyone to he happy and know they are remembered. It is great when you can make kids happy and smile. Growing up I always wanted to be an elementary school teacher. I took a different path, but that dream is always in the back of my head, and I may just realize it someday if I finally get myself in gear and go back to school for it. 9-2-7 is a pretty awesome tritype I think! 😉👌

@margaretjudice8944 3 года назад

Great advice! Thank you for sharing!

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

Glad it was helpful!

@ldmassey 3 года назад

Tbh, everytime I do "assert" myself, (actually more just giving zero about other's wants and just doing what I want) people look at me like im being an asshole because I'm not my usual self. So, its easier to stay in my lane. Lol

@Texaslawhorn 3 года назад

Yes! I'm in management at work, and I am very easygoing, often too easygoing I admit. It's something I want to work on when life eventually resumes in a more normal way. I need to step up more and actually be the peacemaker I am supposed to be and not look away from the bad behavior that can result in more conflict. Anyway... when I do get more assertive with a coworker they look surprised and don't always take me seriously. It can be frustrating and as you say often easier to just sometimes let it go.

@tyleremery7088 3 года назад

I tend to get vetoed, ignored, or overridden when I assert myself, so often I just go along with whatever the other person wants because it feels like there's no point in even putting myself out there.

@Texaslawhorn 3 года назад

@@tyleremery7088 I feel you. It can be frustrating when we do take a chance and put our voice out there more loudly and get immediately shot down or ignored. It is often easier to just resign and go with the flow, one of our 9 mottos. It can feel good internally when we 9s turn out to be right, but the others often don't realize it or acknowledge it so that can add to the 9's frustration. We learn to deal with it and move on - once our passive aggressiveness subsides. 😶

@Imaginarie 3 года назад

This was really helpful and insightful, thank you!

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

You're so welcome!

@ianletbey 2 года назад

thank you

@ashlondajacobsgrzyb8048 3 года назад

Oh my gosh love this video I am a nine and I wish everybody in my life understood me like this

@vincentng3194 3 года назад

As a 9w8, I can be assertive when I feel I'm being pushed Ard, and what u said rly resonates well with me, keep up the great work! 😊 Great suggestion to banish the word lazy

@vincentng3194 3 года назад

Oh,and um, no assertive parties pls, wanna keep the peace and away from attention, thanks 😊

@kornykorhorn 2 года назад

I am a community leader and sought after for being on leadership teams. But I always complain that no one listens to me. Oh wretched man that I am :-)

@carolinefischer5187 2 года назад

I am a nine and a one. I would say the most important thing for me is to not force me to do anything that involves conflict. Especially if I’m really stressed out about some thing and I could fix it by having a conversation with another person. That often will just create more stress and anxiety and make the problem worse but if you just let me think about my problem and we never engage in the actual conflict to fix the problem

@brakthehun 3 года назад

Yay.

@kawaii_gacha_gal4360 3 года назад

as a 9 i completely agree

@sierravanderslice2637 3 года назад

Lol, my friends are super excited and throw parties when I make a decision XD XD

@RoopaDudleyPaintings Год назад

So, I am a 5 and my husband is a 9. I am on my wits end to deal with passive aggressive conflict avoidance behavior. I am therefore going to give him the dose of his own medicine and stone wall him till he questions his existence. My first urge is of course to find a cabin in the deep woods and not come out for six months. Since that cannot be done - I have prepared myself for a Stale Mate. Anything else is too draining.

@maja8453 3 года назад

I am a 9 and this was spot on! Loved it 😍

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

So glad!

@lovel9531 2 года назад

I’m a 2 and my boyfriend is a 9. We’re together for 2 years now and I just learned about enneagram. I haven’t asked him to take the test but I instantly knew he is a 9. Throughout our relationship I noticed that what I would usually argue with is the whenever he wouldn’t say anything or be passive-aggressive and never tell me what he wants but get SUPER CRANKY. And as a 2 I would be overthinking too much and think about all possible scenarios and what to do to make him feel better. We drive each other crazy. Like yes I would go the extra mile to learn and know about you but when a 9 doesn’t say anything how would I know ?

@luandthelion 3 года назад

How do you encourage them to assert themselves without making them feel pushed? How do you make them feel safe sharing when they’re stressed, and they’re used to an abusive dynamic with others, so they are expecting pressure and judgment even if that’s not what you’re ever going to bring, and they tend to automatically go on the defensive?

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

honestly, I feel like it comes down to communication with your 9. talk to them and ask them how they would like to be encouraged, what makes them feel safe, etc.

@su.7452 3 года назад

I’m a 9 and I dunno if this is true of other 9s but I sometimes feel like others don’t really care to listen to what I have to say so I don’t really put energy into asserting myself cuz I feel like it wouldn’t really matter. I think that providing a safe and loving environment to actually listen to a 9 would help. Not listen to give an opinion or advice (unless asked for) but to actually listen and try to understand where your 9 is coming from. I think it would be thoughtful to offer a helping hand in any way to show support for a 9 as it can help them to trust you. So yea hope that helps 🤷🏻‍♀️

@breezybearwaters 3 года назад

S U. i agree^! listen to them and support them even in smaller situations to let them know that you care about their opinion. also be aware of how you talk about other people. if you are judgemental or critical of others your partner may internalize that. if you are open minded and accepting of other people your partner will notice and feel more comfortable sharing with you. (at least this is what would help me as a 9, but everyone is different!)

@su.7452 3 года назад

breezybearwaters so true 👍🏼

@miu2b1967 5 дней назад

Nice video. Wonderful suggestions. I’m 9 with 8 wing, which introduces nuance to the 9 energy (we can have bursts of energy and passion, esp when we see injustice). I’m curious to know how culture/ethnicity channels 9 energy. Any book/article recommendations on this? It’s an area that needs work. I believe your video is important because it avoids the negative spin that 9s are constantly subjected to. Non-niners completely misunderstand nines and use pejorative language when describing us (frankly, I’m tired of it). Even the “experts” use negative language to describe the 9s as if they pity 9s. Your video is refreshing.

@kubrabozdag3084 3 года назад

thats all i want and i wish i had friends who knows these things

@isbellewells4031 2 года назад

As a 9, literally every single thing was 100% true.

@WeibelFamilyMovies Год назад

Can you make videos about how to parent a teen who is 9? And other numbers? Parenting help

@ruqayyahill7417 3 года назад

Lol this is terrifying how accurate this is of me.

@kubrabozdag3084 3 года назад

no one has a relationship with me so im just watching this for me

@cupofcozy708 3 года назад

Any tips about figuring out your partners ennegram type? Mine doesn't 100% believe in this stuff and he won't want to take the test, but I feel figuring out no ennegram will help me strengthen our relationship

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

Unfortunately, figuring out your enneagram type is so so personal. I don’t recommend trying to type someone else. Your partner has to want to find their type. But, you can try some of the tips in this “How to Love” series and see what your partner likes!

@healingandgrowth-infp4677 3 года назад

💯👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

@barankamali8057 2 года назад

Why people think 9s aren’t assertive? I’m 9w1 and my 3 and 7 friends know if I get angry,...🙂anyway,people think I’m so calm and a little careless...but I just want to act calm cause I don’t want to look like a dumb.

@rhernandez3112 2 года назад

Did she mention giving unexpected time to do something (or nothing) and canceling plans as a way to show love? Take a burden off me, and I will love you forever.

@geoforce6228 2 года назад

How to you motivate a nine who has no willingness to expand their comfort zone at all? I mean, when they face any kind of pressure they try to escape and seek comfort from me. I'm more than willing to be the listener and encourager and I've trying my best to do that. But after a long time I realize I am increasing their dependency on comfort, because now I have provided a safe spot they can escape to for comfort and now they become more resist to self-improve or self discovery. Honestly, I'm all fine with a nine doesn't want to change if their current life is what they like and truly enjoy, but sadly this isn't the case at all. They don't know what they want but super resistant to anything they don't want. It becomes incredibly hard for me to encourage them to connect with their own desire when their only desire is to resist any outside force. But when a 9's comfort zone is too small it's just impossible for them to not get super anxious and stressed because any form of outside factor can make them feel pressured... And I honestly never expect a 9 to move out of their comfort zone, I'm trying to help them increase the radius of the comfort zone so they can feel more free and actually have room to discover their own desires. But now I feel so lost and powerless. It's hard to keep encouraging after some time while seeing no willingness to self-growth from them. I even kind of feel guilty to have spoiled them. Maybe I'm just burnt out. Can I get some advices on how to motivate a nine? Thanks many!

@amelian9677 3 месяца назад

I don’t think you can if they don’t want it. I have had similar experiences with a few unhealthy 9’s. 9 is actually one of my favorite types, so that is not intended to bash or overgeneralize. But if the dynamic with a specific individual turns into what you’re describing, I back away because even if the person has positive qualities like kindness, intelligence, or some kind of shared value system, that kind of dynamic simply does not work for me or make me happy. It also does not make me feel respected or valued.

@alba7165 3 года назад

I’m a 9w1 married to a 5. I couldn’t have imagined a more difficult marriage. 😭🤷🏻‍♀️

@sweetpeasandyarrowaranchdi8327 3 года назад

Don't you wish you would have known about the enneagram before you got married? 😂 I try to focus on my husband's strengths.

@ORfMT 3 года назад

Hi, I'm 9w1sx/so married to 5w6 so/sp. We have been married now about 3years. We had very very hard time at the beginning of our marriage, we fought a lot about me feeling he didnt show me enough affection and he feeling I didnt give him enough time alone. Now we have found more balance between us. Enneagram has teached me that I need time alone, too, and he has become more familiar with feelings and emotional closeness. My husband is trustworthy, stable and practical while Im the dreamer of the house🤔 I wish you all good things. ❤

@alba7165 3 года назад

@@ORfMT thank you for sharing your experience.❤️ My husband is also a 5w6! Our 3 year anniversary is next month. My husband will not ever feel his emotions, except anger.🙈 He's also a covert narcissist so it's much harder on my part. Divorce is a swirling idea in my head.😓 P.S.- I give my husband all the time alone he wants, which is always. 🤦‍♀️ I'm married but lonelier than ever. I stopped trying to het him to spend time with me or give me more affection, it always became an argument with him. If he doesn't want to be affectionate, there are plenty of men who enjoy giving and receiving affection! My hudband is a black hole, he wants me to give him affection and I got a pat on the back.😑

@ORfMT 3 года назад

@@alba7165 Thats so sad 😞

@ORfMT 3 года назад

@@alba7165 I have been in kind of hard relationships before and I somehow can imagine how hard it can be. As a sx Im tend to please in every possible way, and its been difficult and has took so much energy🙁

@oliviacolette8620 3 года назад

Mike doesn’t host the liturgists anymore! He’s completely separate from the podcast and wants to make that distinction known

@AbbeyHowe 3 года назад

Oh wow! I didn’t know that! I haven’t listened to it in a long time

@riyajacob2909 Год назад

9s don't behave hysterical like this saying ...i dont know....we mostly grew up in dysfunctional homes.....Its good to he KIND to us than being dramatic 😏